December 13, 1980 – Jamie Lee Curtis / James Brown, Ellen Shipley

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
Mean Majority members intend to impose their morality on the rest of us

 

— The “Let’s Spit on the Flag” title is the closest I’ve come to even cracking a smile at this so far.
— What a terrible LFNY. The segue to it was weird and didn’t work, and the studio audience didn’t know what to make of it, judging from their VERY delayed applause.
— This season has had a lot of bad LFNYs in general so far, come to think of it.
— Overall, a very weak start to the show. What the heck WAS this?
STARS: *

OPENING MONTAGE
— We finally get the addition of this season’s featured players. Matthew Laurance, Eddie Murphy, and Patrick Weathers each receive their very first credit tonight.

  

MONOLOGUE
(no synopsis available)

 

— I got a laugh from Jamie doing what she feels she’s expected to do tonight: a loud, horror movie-ish scream.
— Quick monologue, which seems to have become par for the course this season. This one was fine for what it was.
STARS: ***

CLOVIN HIND JEANS
only brains come between Brooke Shields (GLM) & her Clovin Hind Jeans

 

— This accurately captures the look of the famous Brooke Shields Calvin Klein commercials from that time.
— Funny punchline, and this overall commercial was short and to the point.
STARS: ***½

THE ATTACK OF THE TERRIBLE SNAPPING CREATURES
(host) battles clothespins

     

— I see we’re getting our obligatory horror movie parody out of the way early tonight.
— “Laurie”? Is Jamie playing her character from “Halloween”?
— I’m iffy about the premise, though Jamie and Gail are giving it their all.
— Funny visual at the end with Jamie staggering back to the apartment while covered entirely with clothespins.
STARS: **½

CARD GAME
Paulie Herman plays three-card monty with (EDM) in a bus station

  

— Looks like we get an Eddie Murphy-starring sketch, and early in the episode too. I’m excited to see this.
— Jersey Guy is back ALREADY?
— The audience gives recognition applause at Joe’s “I’m from Jersey, are you from Jersey”, even though this is only the second time he’s appeared.
— We’re already seeing early evidence of Joe Piscopo’s Sinatra obsession, with him briefly singing “Start Spreading the News” after hearing that Eddie’s from New York.
— The reference to tonight’s musical guest James Brown felt kinda shoehorned in.
— Overall, I still don’t mind Joe’s character (I just KNOW I’m eventually gonna get tired of it, though), but this sketch wasn’t anything great. If anything, it was at least nice seeing the early stages of Eddie and Joe’s onscreen chemistry.
STARS: **

WHO IS GILBERT GOTTFRIED?
by Linda Lee- a recap of GIG’s path to SNL

       

— A segment with Gilbert as himself on the home base stage?
— Oh, he’s only there to throw to a short film starring himself.
— Strange joke with his parents living in a revolving door.
— Good gag with him selling “fresh-squeezed water” from a sponge.
— This film isn’t turning out too funny so far.
— Okay, this has gotten a little better with the part where he holds up a bank just so he can film an SNL audition tape on the bank camera.
STARS: **½

DYING TO BE HEARD
poetesses commit suicide, have their works read on TV

   

— Interesting concept and format.
— The whole scene with Jamie is really funny, especially her ridiculous method of killing herself.
— Hilarious part with Gail(?) having killed herself ahead of schedule.
— Still not caring for Ann Risley’s performances. She’s a little too monotone in this.
— Overall, a pretty strong sketch.
STARS: ****

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
James Brown performs “Rapp Payback”

WEEKEND UPDATE
Woodswoman (DED) says “not in my backyard” to Appalachian nuclear waste
JOP poetically summarizes some recent Major League Baseball transactions
consumer reporter EDM recommends that the poor start eating dog food

       

— The Weekend Update logo on the front of the desk is now gone.
— Ugh at Charles’ cocky laughing after the Breznev rocket joke.
— Charles’ delivery sounds different from the previous Updates, and he keeps doing this head-bobbing thing after some of the jokes.
— I had heard about this Woodswoman commentary years ago, but I thought I remember hearing Ann played this character. Instead, it’s actually Denny.
— Not caring for all the cheap clapter with Denny’s Reagan-bashing statements.
— “I been it, I seen it, I am Woodswoman!”
— Wow, Charles’ joke about only aborting female fetuses was met with boos from the audience. Another example of season 6 trying WAY too hard at shock humor, only for it to backfire on them.
— I kinda laughed at the Howdy Doody/“Heavy Doody” joke, even though it was a corny one.
— Joe’s SNL Sports commentaries seem to have become a weekly thing on Update, as this is the third episode in a row with one.
— I’m loving Joe’s fast-paced rhythmic recap of baseball trades.
— Surprised Joe’s commentary is over already, but I enjoyed it.
— Eddie in his very own Update commentary.
— Interesting voice Eddie’s using.
— Eddie eating from a can of dog food is getting a big reaction from the audience, though I find it only okay; not hilarious. An obvious step down from his fantastic Update commentary in the preceding episode.
— Tonight’s overall Update is hard for me to figure. Aside from the one joke that got booed, Charles’ jokes didn’t bomb nearly as badly as they have lately, and it felt weird hearing him consistently get laughs from the audience for once. However, just because THEY liked it doesn’t mean I automatically have to, as I was still “meh” on a majority of his jokes tonight. I’m also not too sure his new delivery is the right direction for Update.
STARS: **

POKER AND DRUGS DON’T MIX
examples of stoners’ misplayed hands prove that poker & drugs don’t mix

   

— The overhead camera angle is making Ann kinda resemble Jane Curtin.
— Strange but kinda funny part with a voice-over depicting the queen card having an affair with the jack card.
— Weird sketch so far.
— What? That’s the end? I thought this sketch was going somewhere interesting, but the result just came off kinda dumb.
STARS: **

CLOVIN HIND JEANS
if Brooke Shields’ (GLM) Clovin Hind Jeans could talk, she could act

 

— Gail as Brooke Shields: “If [the Clovin Jeans in her closet] could talk, I could act”. Funny.
STARS: ***

BADGER CONVENTION
at their convention, Badger Club members hassle a waitress (host)

   

— Corny concept and humor so far.
— Eddie’s voice is kinda making me laugh, though it’s reminiscent of the voice he just used earlier tonight on Update.
— Jamie’s performance seems unusually stiff. Who is she, Ann Risley all of a sudden?
— Gilbert’s voice is borderline sounding like his now-famous screech.
— Holy hell, the part with the Badger club members “badgering” the waitress – ugh, you’re killin’ me with your trademark corny humor, season 6.
STARS: *½

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
James Brown performs a medley of his hits

 

TORTU-MATIC
toughen yourself up with the Tortu-Matic physical pain endurance unit

 

— Seems like another typical season 6 concept, but this might have some promise.
— The visual of Charles using the torture device is not as funny as they probably thought it’d come off.
— Overall, this fell completely flat for me.
— The more I think of it, the concept itself wasn’t bad, as this seems like the type of insane fake product that Dan Aykroyd would’ve sold really well during the original era. Not sure why it didn’t work at all here… well, besides the obvious fact that Rocket ain’t no Aykroyd. Maybe they should’ve gotten Piscopo to perform this.
STARS: *½

HOT DOGS FOR GAUGUIN
by Martin Brest- (Danny DeVito) stages a disaster

       

— Danny DeVito!!!
— DeVito looks so young in this.
— I like the other guy’s off-camera “Oh my god” when hearing DeVito’s Statue of Liberty plan.
— Fascinating film so far.
— Great ending with DeVito missing the Statue of Liberty’s head blowing up.
— Overall, this felt like the first thing I’ve liked in the post-Update half of the show so far (aside from James Brown’s epic medley). This season has been having a lot of interesting short films.
STARS: ****

CUT ‘N’ CURL
Roweena (GLM) styles hair of Nadine (DED) & weirded-out daughter (host)

 

— Ha, Jamie coming in with that crazy early 80s trendy look…
— As a kid of the 90s, I recognize the voice Gail’s using as being the same voice she would later use as the mom on the early 90s animated series “Bobby’s World”. As a side note, whenever I saw the name Gail Matthius during that show’s ending credits as a kid, I remember assuming “Matthius” was pronounced “Matthews”.
— Heh, now Gail has just said “Don’cha know?”, which would become her “Bobby’s World” character’s catchphrase.
— Funny comment from Denny about Jamie looking like “a mermaid on drugs”.
— Overall, this was a decent realism scene with good character work from Gail and Denny.
STARS: ***

CLOVIN HIND JEANS
Brooke Shields (GLM) recites a limerick about her Clovin Hind Jeans poses

— Not as funny as the first two.
— At the end, the audience sounded unsure of when to applause.
STARS: **

OSSELOTS
Camille Black (ANR) & her cycle gang are committed to burying road kill

 

— Oh my god, is Ann coming off miscast AS HELL in this role.
— What the heck am I watching?
— Ann to Jamie: “Keep your hands off, bitch.” Sad that that line is the closest I’ve come to chuckling so far.
— Overall, this was AWFUL. Terrible writing, and, man, Ann Risley has yet to impress me so far with her performances this season.
STARS: *

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
Ellen Shipley performs “Fotogenic”

GOODNIGHTS
host reminds audience of the upcoming vigil for John Lennon

  

— During the scrolling credits, I noticed a credit for “Gillie’s film”. What was that? The Gilbert Gottfried film? Is “Gillie” his backstage nickname?

---

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS:
— After the promising upswing in quality with the last episode, season 6’s struggles unfortunately return, as we got a weak episode tonight. The writing was bad and a lot of segments fell flat for me, especially in the post-Update half of the show. There weren’t many sketches I was crazy about, but the big highlights of the night for me were Dying To Be Heard and Hot Dogs For Gauguin.

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Ellen Burstyn):
— a pretty big step down

My full set of screencaps for this episode is here

TOMORROW:
Our Christmas episode of the season, hosted by David Carradine