Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
COLD OPENING
Brandon Tartikoff [real] says drug tests will end substance abuse at SNL
— I like Tartikoff’s opening mention of this being the beginning of SNL’s second decade, as well as the mention of Lorne Michaels’ return.
— Kinda funny how the mere mention of SNL having trouble in the past with drugs receives some audience applause.
— Good line from Tartikoff about how his method of using the honor system to keep the cast off drugs was a failure.
— Not sure we needed to see the tray of the cast’s “urine samples”. Seems like a cheap sight gag. I do find it kinda amusing, though, how the urine cups have an NBC logo on them.
— Figures that Anthony Michael Hall is the first new cast member we see. All I can say in response to his initial walk-on is, what in the world possessed Lorne to think a 17-year-old Brat Pack member would make a good live sketch comedy performer?
— Overall, this isn’t exactly how I would’ve started off a new SNL era, but this had its share of decent lines here and there. It seems strange in hindsight that this opening would end up getting censored from reruns, as it seems so tame by today’s standards.
STARS: **½
OPENING MONTAGE
— Hoo, boy. Needless to say, this new montage is quite a disappointment and a huge downgrade from the incredible montage used the previous season. This is probably the cheapest-looking opening montage SNL would ever use. Thankfully, we soon end up getting a much better and more extensive montage a few episodes into this season. I wonder if that montage was intended to be used right from the beginning of the season, but perhaps the graphics department took a lot longer with it than expected, thus necessitating the use of a different, cheaper montage to use as a placeholder in the meantime.
— Great new theme music, though, which SNL would go on to use all the way until 1994(!).
MONOLOGUE
home movies show Father Guido Sarducci marrying host & Sean Penn (RDJ)
— I really like the new home base stage, especially the big theatre marquee with the host and musical guest’s names on it.
— For this episode only, the host makes their entrance through the “theater” doors in the middle of the stage (underneath the aforementioned marquee). I believe in all the subsequent episodes this season, the hosts make their entrance through the “store” door all the way at the right end of the stage.
— The beginning of the monologue was okay, but this is picking up with the pre-taped wedding video.
— Robert Downey is pretty funny as Sean Penn.
— The repeated mentions of potato salad are falling flat.
— I got a good laugh from the brief part with Madonna’s Cyndi Lauper-esque cousin.
— I like the part with the “press” arriving, represented by stock footage of helicopters while “Ride of the Valkyries” plays.
— Random Father Guido Sarducci appearance as the priest performing the wedding.
— When ending this monologue with the usual “We got a great show” spiel, Madonna adds in a random “I’m not pregnant”, which receives audience laughter. Was that addressing then-current rumors about her?
STARS: ***
WHERE YOU’RE GOING
God knows where self-absorbed yuppies are going- straight to Hell
— Great way to feature the entire new cast all at once.
— Good realistic-sounding commercial jingle.
— It feels strange seeing Jon Lovitz so young and thin, and Damon Wayans with actual (albeit receding) hair.
— The sudden “you’re going to hell” twist and accompanying visuals of the yuppies burning in hell is hilarious. When I was younger, I used to think this twist was dumb and cheesy, but I can appreciate it a lot more now.
— Good ending with “A message from Almighty God”.
STARS: ****
NATIONAL INQUIRER THEATRE
JFK (RAQ) kills Marilyn Monroe (host)
— Probably an obvious statement, but after I’ve gotten so used to the faces in the cast from the last few seasons, it feels weird seeing an entirely new cast throughout tonight’s episode, even moreso than how it felt when I reviewed the season 6 premiere.
— Funny line from Jon about how “two half-truths add up to a whole truth”.
— Boy, do I not like Joan Cusack’s strange slow delivery in this.
— Not too crazy about Madonna’s delivery as Marilyn Monroe, either.
— A very slow and uninteresting beginning to the enactment scene so far.
— Okay, seems to be some potential now with with Randy Quaid entering as JFK.
— Awkward long pause after one of Anthony’s lines.
— I like the random inclusion of “Elvis” coming to save Marilyn.
— Danitra Vance’s possessed-type face just turning out to be her yawning was a funny bit.
— Overall, aside from a few laughs, this was weak. There were too many negative things going against it.
STARS: **
PINKLISTING
a gay actor (TES) pretends to be macho in order to get work
— Feels refreshing hearing the voice of Al Franken again (during the opening voice-over of this sketch), after a five-season absence.
— The sighting of stage manager Joe Dicso has been the only familiar face from previous seasons that I’ve spotted so far tonight.
— Terry Sweeney’s overly macho actions are making me laugh.
— Funny reaction from Terry when seeing the Judy Garland/Liza Minelli headline.
— Maybe it’s more because of how he’s performing the character, but it’s amazing how just a pair of glasses can make the late-20s Jon Lovitz look the part of a stuffy middle-aged network censor.
— They seemed to botch the bit where the stage light is supposed to fall, as the sound effect of it “crashing” as well as Terry’s reaction to it happened before the light actually fell.
— For some reason, I laughed at the abruptness of Madonna immediately coming to realization that Terry’s gay just because of his girly scream when the stage light fell.
— The intravenous drug user ending fell flat and wasn’t the best way to end this otherwise okay sketch.
STARS: ***
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Alive & Kicking”
CRITIC
a movie about controversial film reviewer Victor LaSalle (JOL)
— Funny seeing Jon Lovitz as the title character in an ad titled “Critic”, considering a certain Fox animated series he would star in 10 years later.
— I like the scene with the drunk critic admitting the only reason people become film critics is because they’re talentless failed actors who are envious.
— Another good part, with an exec in a limo sternly ordering someone to “unplug the S.O.B.’s word processor”.
— An overall pretty funny and well-shot fake movie trailer.
STARS: ***
THE JONES BROTHERS
Jones Brothers’ (AMH) & (DAW) merchandise is cheap- middle man eliminated
— I’m already liking this just for the fact that Damon’s character is clearly a prototype to his funny hobo character from In Living Color.
— Weird seeing Anthony Michael Hall of all people doing a “black” voice, though he surprisingly isn’t bad at it.
— Pretty funny concept, and Damon in particular is pulling it off well.
— I like the look on Robert’s face and the slow way he walked in with the computer.
— While probably funny in theory, it’s kinda cringeworthy hearing Don Pardo attempting an urban voice (“Two Junkies be located at… etc.”) during his ending voice-over.
STARS: ***
WEEKEND UPDATE
UN delegate (JOL) demonstrates new, safer version of “the old heave-ho”
DEM’s Sports Fantasy- realized batting dream goes awry
— Good to see that the title “Weekend Update” is finally back, as I never liked having to call SNL’s news segment by different titles the last few seasons (SNL Newsbreak, Saturday Night News, etc.).
— Right out of the gate, Dennis Miller opens his first Weekend Update with a great ad-lib, sarcastically saying “Thank you, Don Pardo for… whipping them into a frenzy” when this Update strangely opens with no audience applause. That ad-lib would later get ruined in reruns, where SNL adds in canned applause at the opening, which causes the sarcasm of Dennis’ comment to make no sense.
— Feels strange seeing the news screen now being on the left side, after I had gotten used to seeing it on the right side the last three seasons.
— Dennis is off to a good start with his jokes so far, especially the “oral/anal sex banning” joke.
— Loved the joke about the last remaining section of Orson Welles dying.
— Didn’t care for the pre-taped segment with Jon demonstrating “the new heave-ho”.
— Another great Dennis Miller ad-lib, with him telling the audience “Thank you for applauding the carnage” after their response to one particular violent joke.
— I didn’t get the punchline of the news story about an illegal alien winning the lottery.
— This “Sports Fantasy” segment seems interesting.
— LOL at the guy immediately getting conked on the head with Goose Gossage’s pitched ball.
— I absolutely LOVED Dennis’ whole jokingly-sincere “Hey… I care” heart-to-heart talk with us viewers at the end of this.
— Dennis closes tonight’s Update by saying “That’s the news, I’m outta here” and then making a very mild swipe move off of a sheet of paper with his pencil. This is an early prototype to what would later go on to be his trademark tagline for Update.
— Overall, wow, what an impressive anchorman debut for Dennis. He came off so refreshing after all the terrible, bland anchorpersons I’ve had to suffer through when reviewing the last five seasons. Dennis immediately made this segment his own, had a laid-back persona that had never been regularly seen from an SNL anchorman, and got lots of laughs all throughout tonight’s Update. It feels good to consistently laugh during SNL’s news segment again, after how mediocre it was the last five seasons.
STARS: ***½
EL SPECTACULARE DE MARIKA
some songs & a visit from El Pato Loco
— I remember really not liking this sketch the times I’ve watched this episode in the past, but the positive reviews I’ve read of it since then has me wondering if I’ll enjoy it more this time.
— What’s with the microphone feedback squeaks during Madonna’s opening number?
— Kinda interesting having a sketch being spoken entirely in Spanish.
— I’m liking the “El Pato Loco” scene.
— I don’t know what in the world to think during the somber musical number that’s being performed right now.
— Overall, I didn’t laugh much during this, though I was impressed by the performances and how this was pulled off. This feels like a sketch that would’ve been funnier if they waited to do it a few years later during the height of SNL’s renaissance in the late 80s.
STARS: **½
PENN AND TELLER
Penn & Teller [real] perform simultaneous card trick & water tank escape
— The SNL debut of Penn and Teller, who would go on to be frequent guests this season (and a little of next season).
— I like the idea of this seemingly-dangerous stunt, with Penn informing us that Teller will die if he’s kept in the tank after a certain amount of time.
— Amusing cutaway to a stone-faced Teller just watching from inside the tank while Penn is doing his bit with the audience member.
— Very funny with Teller frantically waving the key in the background after time has run out.
— A good casually delivered “My partner is now dead” from Penn.
— Ha, excellent twist with the now-“dead” Teller having the correct card in his goggles.
— Overall, a very strong debut for Penn and Teller.
STARS: ****
ROYAL VISIT
Nancy Reagan (TES) boozes during royal visit by Charles (JOL) & Di (host)
— Randy’s Ronald Reagan impression is actually making me laugh. In my past viewings of this season, I used to hate his impression. It’s coming off a lot funnier to me now, for some reason.
— Even in this first outing, Terry’s Nancy Reagan is ALREADY really funny and is stealing the sketch.
— I like the escalation of Terry’s Nancy getting increasingly drunk with each passing scene.
— Madonna’s “treat me like a person, not a thing” rant is straddling the line between mildly funny and quite annoying.
— I did laugh at how Jon followed the above-mentioned rant by sympathetically saying to Madonna “You poor thing”.
— Didn’t care for the ending, which dragged.
STARS: **½
THE LIMITS OF THE IMAGINATION
crazed (JOL) calls (host)’s car phone
— The debut of another season 11 staple. As someone who’s become a Twilight Zone buff in recent years, I think I’m going to appreciate these sketches more than I used to.
— Randy’s cheap demonstrations of how he “can achieve anything” are making me laugh.
— This is different from the subsequent Limits Of The Imagination sketches, in that this one is actually pre-taped
— Overall, wow, I don’t even know what to say about this one. It didn’t even even seem to be trying for laughs. The horror movie aspects were well-done, but this really didn’t work as an SNL piece.
STARS: *½
COLORING BOOK
teenage mom Cabrini Green (DAV) & her I Don’t Want A Baby Coloring Book
— Yet another season 11 staple makes its debut.
— Right out of the gate in this, I’m liking how well Danitra is coming off in her performance, where you can tell this is a character she had been doing long before SNL.
— The “I Don’t Want a Baby” coloring book is pretty funny.
— It’s over already? The ending was abrupt and this overall sketch felt rushed. I wonder if the show was running long and Danitra was told before the sketch to rush through it.
STARS: ***
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS:
— Needless to say, a very different-feeling SNL from what I had gotten used to in the preceding era. And as usual when I cover the start of a new era, I had an exciting feeling while watching this. As for the actual quality of this episode, I was surprised to see that it wasn’t as terrible as I had remembered it being. Knowing this is going to be a troubled season, this wasn’t exactly the worst premiere. That being said, it’s still not an episode I can call good, either. Despite some highlights, it felt like quite a lot of the sketches were either average, forgettable, or underwhelming. The audience was also noticeably quiet at times, which gave parts of the show a strange hollow feel. Still, this season premiere was a little better than its notorious reputation.
— Of the new cast, Randy Quaid and Jon Lovitz are immediately showing potential as versatile leader-types. Terry Sweeney probably provided the most laughs for me in this episode, with his performances in Pinklisting and Royal Visit. It felt like the rest of the cast wasn’t seen much.
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (1984-85):
— a big step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW:
Chevy Chase