January 18, 1986 – Harry Dean Stanton / The Replacements (S11 E7)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
solemn, wheelchair-bound Herb (RAQ) explains why he’s never had a Whopper

— Interesting use of Dennis’ anchorman role outside of Update.
— A cold opening based on Burger King’s “Where’s Herb?” campaign about the only man in America who’s never had a Whopper.
— I laughed at Randy smiling pathetically at the camera while a simple graphic of the name “Herb” is displayed under him.
— Randy’s specific explanation of his refusal to try a Whopper has some laughs here and there, especially the part about the glue in the burgers.
— Overall, despite a few laughs, this cold opening was too dry and slow-paced for its own good. The whole thing badly died off toward the end.
STARS: **

OPENING MONTAGE
— The theme music is in a MUCH faster tempo than usual. In a way, I kinda feel like it fits this opening montage more than the slower-tempo theme does.
— The shots of Anthony, Jon, and Terry have been changed to shots that would be used for the rest of the season. This is actually the second time they’ve changed Terry’s shot, and the one introduced tonight is a definite downgrade; I’ve never liked that cheesy big smile in his pic. (comparisons between each of the three performers’ various shots are below)

MONOLOGUE
host & SNL Band perform “Baby What You Want Me To Do”

— Yeah, you can tell right off the bat that he’s drunk. Reportedly, he was drinking backstage with The Replacements before the show.
— At least the speaking portion of this monologue was short, before he launched into a blues song, where he’s coming off more in his element.
— Very cool how he’s climbing up the fire escape into the rooftop to join the SNL Band.
— Feels like the first time all season that G.E. Smith has gotten major face time, something that he’ll regularly be getting in the upcoming SNL era that starts next season.
— Overall, even though the musical number didn’t contain any intended comedy, this was pretty fun and likable.
STARS: ***

GULF COAST FURNITURE WAREHOUSE
Double R & son have a “stink sale” to move death-scented furniture

— Hilarious concept of a “stink sale” of furniture plagued with the scent of Double R’s dead father’s body.
— I like the pictures of Robert showcasing the bad-smelling furniture while disgustedly covering his nose.
— Robert’s goofy clapping dance at the end is pretty funny.
STARS: ***½

CLEVELAND VICE
(host) & (RAQ) investigate a rash of bowling ball thefts

— Are the women’s “pregnant” bellies supposed to be concealed bowling balls?
— Yep, I guess they ARE, since bowling ball thefts has turned out to be a part of the sketch’s plot.
— Reportedly, Randy’s delayed entrance (“Sorry I’m late”) wasn’t in the script. He took longer than usual changing from his Double R costume to his Cleveland Vice costume.
— A way-too-long, dull parody of the Miami Vice opening credits, though I got a laugh from the “In Mono” graphic with half a headphone set.
— I like how they’re using the SNL home base stage for a street scene in this.
— Some laughs from how Randy and Harry have to bring the suspect to the police station by bus.
— A pretty funny Joan Rivers impression from Terry, but WHAT IN THE WORLD was it doing in this sketch? It had absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the sketch, and she wasn’t even shown with either of the two main characters. A complete non-sequitur.
— This sketch is getting way too long and repetitive, and the whole thing has really lost steam.
— Weak ending.
— An overall poor sketch that highlighted some of the problems with this season’s writing.
STARS: *½

DEATH OF A GUNFIGHTER
Bat Masterson (RAQ) schedules showdown with (host)

— Randy Quaid has been extremely busy tonight, appearing in a lead role in EVERY SINGLE SKETCH so far.
— Damon’s stereotypical-speaking servant character is just plain cringeworthy, especially knowing Damon’s behind-the-scenes frustration working at SNL.
— The extended chair-creaking part made me laugh.
— Haha, the random train set bit was really funny.
— I’m liking the direction of this. This is coming off as a good, silly writer-ly piece.
— Overall, a funny sketch that reminds me a little of two other solid writer-ly pieces from earlier this season: Vlad the Impaler and U.S.S. Cameron.
STARS: ***½

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Bastards of the Young”

NEW PARENTS
new father (JOL) is mad about what wife (JOC) said about him during labor

— An okay line from Jon about how all newborn babies look like Edward G. Robinson.
— LOL at the line about how Joan called Jon a “wimpy jew” while in labor.
— Sloppy delivery from Danitra, messing up the last name of Joan’s character a few times.
— Strange how they’re using a real newborn baby in the scene.
— This overall sketch didn’t work as a whole. Not sure what, but it felt like a lot was missing from this.
STARS: **

WEEKEND UPDATE

— Tonight’s Update opens with the Dick Van Dyke Show theme song. At this point, I think safe to say that it’s become a regular thing for each of Dennis’ Updates to open with a different non-news-related song, though he’s only been using movie/TV theme songs so far. I wonder at which point he starts using rock songs, which I remember his Updates from seasons 12-16 opening with.
— Dennis’ “Goetz Gets Off” joke was hilarious.
— Dennis’ jokes in general are really good so far tonight.
— Overall, a very short but solid Update. Like I recently said, I’m enjoying how this season’s revamped version of the news is focusing very little on guest commentaries, of which there were none tonight.
STARS: ***½

THAT BLACK GIRL
Latoya Marie’s (DAV) agent Seymour (TES) gets her a part

— Great concept, and I love the That Girl-style opening credits.
— Funny performance from Damon as the boyfriend.
— I like Jon’s characterization as the lenient landlord.
— An overall decent sketch, led by a great performance from Danitra.
STARS: ***

SAM KINISON
Sam Kinison [real] does stand-up about honesty in relationships

— Love the bit about a donut shop worker snapping and going postal.
— Some laughs from the part about women discreetly offering him pleasure.
— Lots of funny lines from the whole part about relationships.
— Overall, a good stand-up performance and an improvement from Sam’s more hit-and-miss appearance from earlier this season.
STARS: ***½

BIG BALL OF SPORTS
footage of the 1914 Balkan Dirt Diving Championship

— “Balkan Dirt Diving” is a pretty funny random concept.
— I almost thought the scratchy black-and-white footage truly was an old film, before realizing this is newly-filmed footage made to look old. Great job with the authentic look of this.
— I like Al Franken’s voice-over in this.
— Haha, this film is weird as hell so far, but hilarious.
— I’m getting a lot of laughs from the different vocalization each competitor makes right as they’re about to dive.
— Freakin’ hilarious part with the second diver having his dislocated shoulder be PAINFULLY snapped back into place, resulting in him screaming in agony.
— I like how when the announcer says “A hush falls upon the spectators”, the cutaway to the hushed crowd shows a close-up of a man chomping into a hot dog (or a similar-looking food) while eagerly watching the dirt diver in anticipation.
— LOL, holy hell at third diver flatly landing face-first into the dirt, dying instantly. Haha, this film is an absolute riot.
— Overall, a hilariously random film that had me in stitches.
STARS: ****

NO OFFENSE
in a bar, drunk (host) bothers patrons (RDJ) & (JOC)

— Harry Dean Stanton playing a drunk? Not much acting involved there, I see…
— This sketch has been going nowhere for me so far.
— Overall, wow, I have nothing interesting to say here. This whole sketch just washed right over me, with nothing particularly funny or noteworthy standing out.
STARS: *½

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Kiss Me on the Bus”

JACK’S DISCOUNT EMPORIUM
a store insensitively uses MLK Day as an occasion to stage a white sale

— Very funny with Jon as a spokesperson touting a Martin Luther King Day “white sale”.
— The cutaways to various badly-impersonated famous historical figures such as George Washington and Sitting Bull are fun.
— A lot of laughs from Jon inappropriately using MLK-related phrases to hype up his store’s sales.
STARS: ***½

SAY NO TO THE ARMY
— Rerun. This Anthony Michael Hall-starring commercial is serving as a reminder that tonight’s episode is the beginning of Anthony’s two-month SNL hiatus while he’s filming “Out of Bounds”.

GOODNIGHTS

— They forgot to update the 1985 copyright year into 1986. (last screencap above)

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IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS:
— Not a very good episode, though not a terrible episode either. There were enough highlights to make the overall episode merely underwhelming rather than outright bad. The middle of the episode at least had a nice streak of good segments from Weekend Update to Big Ball Of Sports.

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Teri Garr):
— a mild step up

My full set of screencaps for this episode is here

TOMORROW:
Dudley Moore