Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
COLD OPENING
Mephistopheles visits Church Lady in her bedroom on Christmas Eve
— A rare use of Church Lady outside of her TV show setting. I’m surprised the audience didn’t give her any recognition applause at the beginning of this.
— Church Lady’s exercise routine is great.
— Mephistopheles in a Church Lady sketch! I always like the rare times when two separate recurring characters collide.
— Some pretty funny lines between Mephistopheles and Church Lady.
STARS: ***½
OPENING MONTAGE
— Hmm, where’s the snow? I could swear I remember from my past viewings of this episode that the opening montage had a snowfall effect played for the entire duration. Turns out I was wrong. Am I thinking of the following season’s Christmas episode (Andie MacDowell), or did I just dream the whole thing?
MONOLOGUE
host talks about the spirit of Christmas while a disclaimer rolls
— Ha, a disclaimer monologue! I always love when they do a throwback to this frequently recurring gag from the original era.
— Aw, the monologue is over already? I was hoping the disclaimer would go on longer. This one was really short and simplistic.
STARS: ***
FIRST GUARDIAN METROCARD
(host) talks about the paternalistic First Guardian credit card service
— The set-up is reminding me of both the Citiwide Change Bank commercial from earlier this season and the MetroCard commercial with Roseanne a few years later in season 16.
— Amusing contrast between Kevin and Melanie’s testimonials. This really IS reminding me of the later Roseanne MetroCard sketch, which uses the same “customer gives a lighthearted recollection of an interaction with a service employee, while said service employee gives a more frank, harsh recollection of the same interaction” format. The Roseanne one is definitely the funnier of the two, though this one is still making me laugh.
— Some pretty good laughs from Kevin’s details of the “personal service” his company offers.
STARS: ***
MISS SELF-ESTEEM USA PAGEANT
New Yorker (host) beats a Georgian (JAH) to become Miss Self-Esteem USA
— Strange. For their opening number, the contestants sing a Let’s Hear It For The Boy take-off, which is the same song that was sung by the contestants at the beginning of another pageant sketch, the rarely-seen Miss Pregnant Teenage America from season 11.
— The opening statements from each of the three contestants are pretty funny.
— Jan is great in this.
— Victoria’s emotional breakdowns are decent.
— I liked the fake-out with runner-up Jan being handed down the crown from winner Melanie, only to be told that’s not allowed.
— I could’ve done with this overall sketch being shortened by a few minutes. However, I found the sketch okay enough.
STARS: ***
CHAPSTICK
(DAC) reluctantly reclaims his Chapstick after letting people use it
— A big laugh from a thickly-bearded Phil using the chapstick on his chili-covered lips.
— Hilarious part with Jan’s hooker using the chapstick on her herpes sores, ears, and her dog’s mouth.
— I like how the chapstick-users always ask Dana “Why, ’cause I used it?” when Dana shows hesitance in being handed back the chapstick.
— I love how increasingly disgusting this is getting.
— When various characters are trying to get the chapstick out from under a storm drain grate, it’s very funny how Tom Davis randomly has a dead snake handy.
— Good ending with the random appearance of a huge-lipped alien.
STARS: ****
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Let It Roll”
LOVE IS A DREAM
by TOS- (JAH) & (PHH) share a romantic fantasy
— The return of Schiller’s Reel, which goes back to being a regular feature of the show for the first time since the original era, aside from one standalone film that Tom Schiller did early in the Ebersol era.
— Here’s a film that now has incredible sentimental value.
— This film would later be re-aired as a tribute to both Phil and Jan, at separate times (for Phil, it was in SNL’s 25th anniversary special, a year after his death; for Jan, it was in the season 40 Bill Hader-hosted episode, just a few days after her death), which in retrospect gives this film a lot of importance and makes you look at it in an even more emotional way than it was originally intended.
— The part right now with Phil’s character first showing up reminds me that when this film aired as a tribute to Jan in the aforementioned Hader episode, it wasn’t until Phil’s entrance that it fully hit me that both cast members in this film are now gone. And then my heart sank.
— This is a beautiful film so far, and an excellent display of the wonderful chemistry that Phil and Jan have always had.
— The sweet ending with the reveal of an elderly Phil as the guard has honestly made me tear up just now. Again, it’s because of hindsight, considering we would tragically lose both performers way too soon.
STARS: *****
WEEKEND UPDATE
VIJ recites her poem “The Life Of A Christmas Tree” & imitates one
DEM & Dennis Miller (DAC) recite “The Night Before Christmas”
— Loved Dennis’ joke about Yasser Arafat really being Three’s Company’s Norman Fell under his beard.
— Nice visual of an upside-down Victoria as a Christmas tree.
— Heh, Victoria actually falls over accidentally when she’s not finished with her poem yet. Nice recovery afterwards with her endearingly-sheepish ad-lib of how “It’s live TV”.
— Here’s a classic segment with Dennis reciting The Night Before Christmas with himself, played by Dana.
— Very funny flub during the Night Before Christmas recital with Dennis misreading “lovely and quick” as “lonely and quick”, which makes him crack up afterwards.
STARS: ***½
CIA CHRISTMAS PARTY
small talk is difficult for secretive operatives at CIA Christmas party
— A pretty thin, one-joke sketch so far, with all the agents refusing to reveal information about even the simplest little things. This doesn’t seem like a funny enough premise to center an entire sketch on.
— When stepping off the box she was standing on, Nora almost fell down.
— Jan: “Hugh hasn’t told me a thing about you.” Kevin: “That’s very flattering!”
— I like Jon’s entrance as a belligerent drunk.
— Unfortunately, Jon’s appearance wasn’t enough to save the overall sketch.
STARS: **
SWEENEY SISTERS
Sweeney sisters do medley of prison & Christmas songs for jailed hookers
— An interesting use of the Sweeney Sisters. By the way, this is surprisingly their first appearance in an entire year. Last time we saw them, Candy Sweeney was memorably singing to an uncomfortable Paul Simon in the previous season’s Christmas episode.
— I like the Sweeneys transitioning into their act when they’re bailed out of prison.
— A particularly catchy medley tonight.
— The part now with them singing Spanish Christmas songs is especially fun.
— A fairly heartwarming ending.
STARS: ***½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Hate To Lose Your Lovin'”
MISREADING SIGNALS
(KEN) repeatedly misinterprets (host)’s business talk as come-on cues
— The premise has a very Kevin Nealon-y feel. I can tell he wrote this.
— Some decent laughs from Kevin misinterpreting every little thing Melanie says as a come-on.
— Good part with Kevin breaking out a dictionary in an attempt to prove to Melanie that “recapitalize” is a sexual term.
— The ending with Jon and Kevin was okay.
STARS: ***
SEASON’S GREETINGS
Tonto, Tarzan, Frankenstein sing “Deck The Halls”
— Great to see this now becoming a recurring segment.
— As always, this is some really good silly, goofy fun.
— They seemed to be running short on time. The ending came off rushed, judging by how the screen faded to an SNL bumper picture of Melanie Griffith when the song was still concluding.
STARS: ****
GOODNIGHTS
Don Johnson [real] joins wife host on-stage
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Not the greatest Christmas episode, but I liked it enough. I was fine with most of the sketches. It’s just that, unlike the previous two Christmas episodes in this era (William Shatner and Paul Simon), tonight’s episode lacked a large number of all-time memorable classic sketches. This episode felt too average for a Christmas show, aside from Love Is A Dream and Chapstick.
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Kevin Kline)
a step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
We enter the year 1989, with host John Malkovich. We also get a new addition to the cast!