January 19, 1991 – Sting (S16 E11)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
Wayne’s World- opinions on the best & worst of Gulf War TV coverage

 

— The topical concept is a nice change of pace for Wayne’s World, and is a great way for SNL to address the recently-started Gulf War right out of the gate tonight.
— This is also the first time Wayne’s World has ever been used as a cold opening, which would soon go on to be a regular thing.
— Lots of great lines during Wayne and Garth’s rundown of the best and worst of Gulf War news coverage. Some of my favorites are them pointing out how fake Wolf Blitzer’s name sounds and equating it to if somebody was named “Howitzer Explosion Guy”, and Wayne’s definition of “scud” being a girl who looks good from a distance but looks bad up close.
STARS: ****½

MONOLOGUE
musical guest performs “All This Time”

— I liked Sting’s story about the irony of him turning down previously-offered hosting gigs earlier this season because they were during weeks of distracting events, and then the week he DID choose in advance ends up being the same week the Gulf War broke out.
— He segues into a full-fledged musical performance on the musical guest stage.
STARS: N/A (not a rateable segment)

HEDLEY AND WYCHE
British people love brushing with sugary Hedley & Wyche toothpaste

— Love the visual of the British citizens’ bad teeth while they’re touting the British toothpaste.
— Funny reveal that the toothpaste has sugar.
— Farley steals the commercial during the cutaway to him happily stating “And it tastes great on a cracker.”
STARS: ****

ELEVATOR
during a long elevator ride, fans (KEN) & (DAC) sing host’s songs to him

— Some good initial laughs from the awkward realism of Kevin and Sting’s conversation while Kevin’s praising Sting as a singer.
— Priceless turn with Kevin slowly breaking out into a high-pitched rendition of “Roxanne”, much to Sting’s discomfort.
— Dana as a second elevator occupant eventually starting a high-pitched singing of “If You Love Somebody” is equally hilarious.
— Haha, this has now become classic with Dana and Kevin dueting, driving Sting crazy.
— I like the pre-taped shot of an out-of-breath Sting walking up a long flight of stairs.
STARS: *****

THE SINATRA GROUP
Sinead O’Connor (JAH) & others discuss issues

— A great and creative idea for a McLaughlin Group parody.
— Sinatra casually addressing Sinead O’Connor as “Sinbad O’Connor” had me HOWLING.
— Love how fast-paced the humor in this is. We’re only a minute into this sketch so far, and it has ALREADY been full of laughs.
— I love Rock’s Luther Campbell declaring “I don’t have any talent!”, while Sinatra absurdly claims Campbell has a Ben Vereen/Dionne Warwick quality.
— Great cutaway to Sinatra sarcastically miming tearful violin-playing during Sinead’s rant about starvation in the world.
— Sinatra: “Forget the head. Put a bag over it and do your business!”
— IIRC, when a clip from the “Milli Vanilli: what is this f**got crap?” portion of this sketch was shown in the “SNL in the 90s” documentary (if not that, then it was some other SNL documentary), they bleeped out Phil’s utterance of the f-word slur and blurred it out of the text displayed on the bottom of the screen.
— Sting is great as Billy Idol.
— As much as Sinatra’s “Sinbad O’Connor” utterance had me dying with laughter earlier, him calling Sinead “Uncle Fester” just now is even funnier.
— Sinatra to Billy Idol: “I got chunks of guys like you in my STOOL!”
— Overall, an undisputed classic and one of the greatest of all time. There was hardly a moment during this masterpiece where I wasn’t laughing.
STARS: *****

DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
on figuring out why clowns seem frightening

— Ladies and gentlemen, we have a major recurring segment debut! And I could not be any more excited to finally arrive at the coming of this segment. Deep Thoughts has always been a HUGE favorite of mine.
— Hilarious bizarre punchline to this one. I can’t think of a better way for Deep Thoughts to have debuted. A quintessential display of Jack Handey’s brilliantly off-kilter humor.
— I wonder what it was like at the time watching this inaugural Deep Thoughts edition when this episode originally aired, as SNL had never really done anything like this before.

COPY MACHINE
Richard Laymer (ROS) bombards his co-workers with elaborate nicknames

— Ladies and gentlemen, we have ANOTHER major recurring segment debut! Two in a row tonight!
— Kevin’s uptight delivery of “The name is Randy!” when Richmeister gets his name wrong always makes me laugh whenever I see this installment.
— This Richmeister routine is a good spoof of “that guy” who’s commonly found in real-life settings like this.
— I liked Phil’s sour face immediately after playing along with Richmeister and imitating his routine for a second.
— In retrospect, it’s weird how this inaugural installment is literally just Richmeister spouting off endless nicknames for his co-workers, with no real plot twist or conflict. This was probably hilarious at the time it debuted, but comparing it to the character’s subsequent appearances where things actually happen, this one feels empty and unmemorable. I can still laugh, though, when looking at it in the original context it was intended to be looked at in.
STARS: ***

DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
on the definition of cowardice

WEEKEND UPDATE
one-man mobile uplink unit ALF reports on the Gulf War from Baghdad
DAS gives his thoughts on what’s in & what’s out
DEM demonstrates the mating habits of the dancing Coke can

— As expected, tons of Gulf War jokes tonight.
— Excellent topical setting for One-Man Mobile Uplink Unit Al Franken. Speaking of which, this ends up being the final appearance this recurring piece makes during Al’s years as a writer.
— Great ending with Al casually detailing the path of a homing missile, until he realizes it’s headed right towards him and he lets out a horrified “OH MY GO–” before an explosion cuts off the satellite feed.
— I love this idea of David Spade’s commentary, with him doing a “what’s in and out in 1991” segment.
— David, after praising the Gulf War American troops and bashing Saddam Hussein: “In: sucking up to popular opinion for applause. Out: integrity.”
— David: “In: people who recognize me from this show, even though I’ve only been on twice. Out: people who think I’m Dana Carvey.” Supposedly, that’s based on truth, as viewers really DID frequently mistake David for Dana Carvey early on in his rookie days on SNL, due to the fact that both he and Dana look similar from a distance.
— David: “In: radar. Out: palindromes.”
— A fantastic commentary from David overall. I loved the format, he came off very engaging and relaxed for a newbie, and he had one great line after another. Unlike the dolls commentary he did on Update earlier this season, THIS commentary is more of an accurate glimpse into the type of Update commentaries he’d regularly do later on.
— Great segment with Dennis demonstrating the mating habits of the dancing Coke can. The ending is especially funny, with a can opening sound effect being played when the can climaxes.
STARS: ****

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Mad About You”

DR. FRANKENSTEIN
Dr. Frankenstein (host) tries to expand his monster’s verbal skills

 

— Interesting use of Phil’s Frankenstein.
— Dana’s making me laugh as Igor.
— Some good laughs from Frankenstein’s various reactions to the baby bunny story.
— This sketch is a little too slow moving for my likes.
— Classic part with Frankenstein’s successful uttering of words while sipping from a tea cup in a dignified manner.
— Weak ending.
STARS: **½

DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
on telling kids where rain comes from

COFFEE TALK WITH PAUL BALDWIN
Paul Baldwin (MIM) takes calls about dogs & daughters

— Ladies and gentlemen, we have a third major recurring segment debut tonight!
— The opening Coffee Talk theme music is different from the one we’re now used to hearing, but that’s nothing compared to the most glaring difference: Mike Myers is playing someone other than Linda Richman!
— This Paul Baldwin character isn’t much different from the later Linda Richman character, except Mike is playing him in a more low-key manner and is using a deeper version of the voice he’d later use for Richman.
— I got a laugh from the caller saying we should saw off Saddam Hussein’s privates with a circular saw.
— The big “joke” throughout this sketch just seems to be Paul Baldwin and all the New York-accented callers saying an excessive amount of words that have an “aw” sound. As a heavily-accented New Yorker myself, I can relate, but that doesn’t make this sketch funny.
— They must use the dress rehearsal version of this sketch in reruns, because in the live version I’m currently watching, the Boston-accented caller (voiced by writer Conan O’Brien) introduces himself as Arnold Barr, whereas the rerun version has him named Paul Sean.
— Overall, meh. As much as I’m not a fan of the future Linda Richman-hosted installments of Coffee Talk (as you’ll see when we reach that point in SNL’s run), at least those sketches have actual things going on, instead of just New York-accented characters uttering words with “aw” in them for four minutes. It’s similar to how the inaugural Richmeister sketch earlier tonight feels empty compared to subsequent installments where actual things happen instead of just Richmeister spouting off nicknames for four minutes.
STARS: **

DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
on the contents of a big shark’s stomach

FIRST IMPRESSION
flashbacks show the first time (VIJ) met husband’s (host) parents

— This sketch would later be replaced in reruns with an autobiographical Jack Handey film about his teenage obsession with a hammer. Between that and the huge amount of Deep Thoughts scattered throughout the night, the rerun version of this episode is absolutely DOMINATED by Jack Handey.
— Boy, this is one weird sketch, but I sure am enjoying it.
— Some good laughs from Victoria randomly embarrassing herself in outlandish ways, such as wearing an upside-down plate of mashed potatoes on her head.
— I like how each time they cut back to Victoria and Sting in the present-day scene, one of them has been replaced by an ugly-looking dummy mouthing the actor’s pre-recorded dialogue. This is a tongue-in-cheek meta joke about how Victoria and Sting don’t have enough time to rush back-and-forth from the flashback set to the present-day set, so SNL has to resort to using dummies in the present-day scenes. There are also some other funny little meta touches, like the “blooper” with Phil “mistakenly” starting to walk off the set too early when the screen was still doing a ripple effect transition into the present-day scene.
— Yeah, this is DEFINITELY one of the strangest sketches SNL has ever done. It actually has almost a creepy undertone to it, which is only adding to my enjoyment. Even the aforementioned screen ripple effect transition is bizarre-looking, unlike the generic wavy screen transition SNL typically uses for flashbacks in sketches.
STARS: ****

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Purple Haze”

POET
Ernie Hitchens suggests (host)’s bleak poetry could be brighter

— Love Phil’s performance as the British emcee.
— Sting’s delivery of his tragic poem is very good.
— The return of Mike’s Ernie Hitchens character from the Talking Through Touch sketch in the Dennis Quaid episode.
— Speaking of Mike, he has been getting TONS of airtime tonight. Most of the rest of the cast, on the other hand, have barely appeared in anything tonight.
— The turn this sketch has taken with Ernie Hitchens and Sting’s conversation hasn’t been doing much for me.
— Fairly weak ending with Sting telling Hitchens many variations of “get lost”.
STARS: **

GOODNIGHTS

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IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very memorable first half of the night, which had lots of strong and well-regarded pieces. Unfortunately, the quality trailed off in the post-Update half, aside from the insanely bizarre First Impression sketch. However, this is a very important episode, as it featured the debuts of several things that would go on to help define the early 90s era of SNL: Deep Thoughts, Richmeister, and Coffee Talk.

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Joe Mantegna)
a step down

My full set of screencaps for this episode is here

TOMORROW
Kevin Bacon