February 9, 1991 – Kevin Bacon / INXS (S16 E12)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
reporters at a Desert Storm press briefing ask for classified information

— While it feels a little weird in retrospect seeing a pre-Darrell Hammond portrayal of Dick Cheney, Phil’s impression is good.
— A rare example of a one-joke sketch actually being pulled off really well. This is the right way to execute this type of premise.
— Part of what helps make this work is Nealon’s responses to the idiotic questions. There’s one particular part where he gives Tom Davis a hilarious speechless, squinty-eyed stern stare in response to a question he asked (fifth screencap above).
— Tim Meadows makes his very first SNL appearance. It feels interesting arriving at his tenure, knowing how VERY long we’re going to be seeing him on the show.
— Speaking of Tim Meadows, throughout this entire cold opening, he has pudgy prosthetic make-up on the lower half of his face. That’s his make-up for a Colin Powell impression that he’s going to be doing later tonight. (Though I have to ask, since when does Colin Powell have a pudgy face?) When this cold opening would later be rerun, SNL would replace the part where Tim asks a question with the dress rehearsal version, in which he looks like his normal self and doesn’t have the pudgy facial prosthetics. However, they still leave in the shots where Tim is seen in the background with the prosthetics. I remember I used to be confused as hell by that when frequently watching this episode in Comedy Central reruns, before I was told that the shot of Tim without the prosthetics is from dress rehearsal.
— Love the part with Rob as a Baghdad reporter asking “Where are your troops and can I go there and count them?”
STARS: ****

OPENING MONTAGE
— In addition to Tim Meadows being added to the cast as a featured player tonight, writer and frequent bit player Adam Sandler has also been added as a featured player tonight.

This now puts the cast at SIXTEEN members, which, at this point in SNL’s timeline, is easily the largest number of cast members in a single season. It’s also only the second time in the show’s history where there were more featured players than repertory players (the first time being season 5). I really have to wonder what it was like at this time in 1991 for SNL fans to witness the cast suddenly getting so insanely large, especially after those SNL fans had become so accustomed to the small, cozy cast of the late 80s.
— I like how with the hiring of Tim Meadows, we now have two black male cast members, making this the first time in the show’s history where they had multiple black cast members of the same gender.
— For this episode only, Rob Schneider is announced by Don Pardo as “Robert Schneider”.

MONOLOGUE
host counters nervousness by controlling his pulse rate & salivary glands

— I liked Bacon’s line about controlling “the instrument that is my body”.
— The premise is probably too mundane for its own good, but something about Bacon’s execution of it kinda works for me. I think I’m in the minority, as quite a number of SNL fans seem to hate this monologue.
— Okay, I admit I didn’t care for the ending with Bacon looking downward and realizing he forgot to control his bladder.
STARS: **½

NO COMMERCIAL
due to Gulf War, SNL refrains from running fake commercial for Execu-John

— Hilarious mock disclaimer about how the seriousness of the Gulf War is preventing SNL from airing a “the briefcase you can poop in” commercial.
STARS: N/A (not a rateable segment)

COPY MACHINE
Richard Laymer loses his socialization facilitator when the copier breaks

 

— Oh, you gotta be kidding me. They’re ALREADY bringing this back??? This debuted in just the last episode!
— At the beginning of this, Richmeister receives some recognition laughter and very mild applause.
— So far, this installment has been going in the exact same direction as the first installment from the last episode.
— Okay, now we get some actual plot, with the copy machine breaking down.
— I like the mock dramatic turn with Phil and Julia being concerned that the lack of a copy machine will destroy Richmeister.
— The last minute or so of this sketch would later be replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns. In the live version I’m watching, Schneider doesn’t say “Disaster for the Richmeisterrrrr” during the long silent pause after he realizes he’s lost without the copy machine.
— Ha, I love how Richmeister brings in the coffee machine from another room, to compensate for the lack of a copy machine.
— Tim Meadows randomly playing himself in this is a decent subtle way to introduce him to the audience.
— Tim still has the pudgy prosthetic make-up on his face. Much like the cold opening, the dress rehearsal version of this shown in reruns has Tim without the prosthetics.
STARS: ***½

THE DARK SIDE WITH NAT X
Nat X’s guests are Colin Powell (TIM) & Vanilla Ice (host)

— Unlike the first installment of this sketch earlier this season, the set of this sketch now has a window behind Nat X, making it look more like a real talk show.
— Chris Rock’s delivery is a little sloppy early on in this sketch.
— Love the Top 5 list of reasons black guys don’t play hockey. The number one reason is priceless: “Don’t feel the need to dominate yet another sport”. Word has it that Adam Sandler was the one who suggested that line when Rock was writing this sketch.
— Very funny point from Nat X about whitey being responsible for Black History Month taking place in the shortest month of the year, and also the coldest month so black people can’t hold a parade.
— Nice touch how the off-camera band plays an instrumental of “War (What is it good for)” as entrance music when Tim’s Colin Powell walks on set. I’m always a sucker for that song.
— Haha, Bacon as Vanilla Ice, just two episodes after the real Vanilla Ice was a musical guest on the show! Bacon is even wearing the same outfit Vanilla Ice wore on the show, complete with a diamond-studded “WORD TO YOUR MOTHER” seen on the back (side-by-side comparison below).

— True story: the first time I ever saw this episode, which was in a Comedy Central rerun way back when I was just starting to get into SNL as a teenager, I missed the first 10 minutes or so of this episode, and thus, didn’t know who was hosting. When Kevin Bacon entered this sketch as Vanilla Ice, I said to myself “Hey, Jim Carrey as Vanilla Ice! This is gonna be hilarious!” and then I said “But wait, Jim Carrey was a cast member on SNL??? He did both this show and In Living Color???” Yes, you read right: stupid teenage me mistook Kevin Bacon for Jim Carrey, and thus, assumed that Jim Carrey was once a cast member on SNL. It wasn’t until shortly after Bacon started speaking that I had a disappointed realization of “Wait, that ain’t Jim Carrey”.
— When questioning Vanilla Ice on how they made him dance so well in his music video, I howled at Nat X asking “Did they feed you chitlins?”
— This whole Vanilla Ice interview is classic.
— Fun sequence with Nat X and Colin Powell dancing in unison.
STARS: ****½

THE SARCASTIC CLAPPING FAMILY OF SOUTHHAMPTON
members of The Sarcastic Clapping Family Of Southhampton speak their mind

— Phil’s intensely dramatic opening speech is funny.
— Some really good laughs from every family member’s statement being responded to by another family member slowly applauding sarcastically.
— Boy, Farley is sweating insanely during his close-up.
— Good reveal of the “The Sarcastic Clapping Family of Southhampton” title towards the end of the sketch.
STARS: ****

DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
on how kids like to be tricked

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Bitter Tears”

WEEKEND UPDATE
AWB says it’s no surprise the Gulf War was waged on George Bush’s watch

— Funny bit with gunshot sound effects being added to a montage of Colin Powell finger-pointing at a press conference.
— Dennis: “Last Saturday, Feburary 2nd, was Groundwar Day. Saddam Hussein came out of his underground bunker and saw his shadow, meaning there will probably be six more weeks of Iraqis getting stomped on.”
— I liked A. Whitney’s comment about the Gulf War being our first-ever Nintendo war.
— A. Whitney on smart bombs: “Our bombs are better educated than the average high school graduate. At least they can find Kuwait.”
— Dennis does a slight variation of his usual tagline, by replacing “I… am… outta here” with a simple “I’m gone”.
STARS: ***½

NEW ROOMMATE
(host) has no problems with potential roommate’s (DAC) strange habits

— Bacon and especially Dana each have some pretty funny casual reveals to each other of their bad habits, which neither of them have a problem with.
— I liked Bacon’s strange suggestion that he watch even channels on the TV and Dana watch odd channels.
— I loved the part with Bacon being iffy about Dana asking if he can bring his dog, but then immediately having a change of heart when Dana explains it’s a dead dog.
— Decent part with former roommate Mike’s passing mention of once having cut off Bacon’s testicles and using them as clackers.
STARS: ***½

DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
on biting what seemed to be a nectarine

DANCE PARTY USA
teens boogie in support of the Gulf War effort

— Much like the First Impression sketch in the last episode, this sketch would later be removed from reruns. It’s replaced with a cut dress rehearsal sketch where Gulf War soldiers hold a meeting to come up with ideas for taunting messages to write on the bombs that will be dropped on Iraq.
— I like the goofy look on Rock’s face while he’s dancing.
— The premise of teens “supporting” the Gulf War by partying and dancing kinda reminds me of something I once saw on Conan O’Brien’s NBC Late Night show, which makes me wonder if it’s possible that either Conan or Robert Smigel wrote this sketch.
— Dana as an out-of-place conspiracy theorist is fairly funny.
— Why wasn’t David Spade credited in the SNL opening montage earlier tonight? He has a fairly noteworthy speaking role in this sketch.
— Not too many laughs from this sketch so far. I do, however, love how very early 90s everything about this is.
— Okay, we finally get a pretty big laugh, with Farley’s heated-up misguided rant about how we should “keep bombing the Ayatollah”.
— Not even Adam Sandler can breathe much life into this sketch with his musical performance, though he’s certainly trying.
— By the way, with this sketch cut in reruns, Adam’s only appearance of the night is a non-speaking walk-on bit role as a repairman in the Richmeister sketch, which makes it seem like SNL promoted Adam from writer to featured player just to play a useless silent role that they could’ve just hired an extra to play.
— Overall, aside from nice usage of all this season’s new featured players (well, minus Rob Schnei– uh, excuse me… ROBERT Schneider) and a funny line from Farley, this sketch didn’t really work. No big loss that this is cut from reruns. The aforementioned Bomb Messages dress rehearsal sketch that replaces this is a lot better.
STARS: **

SOUNDSTAGE
(host) only contributes handclaps in lopsided folk duo

— Jan’s getting some good laughs with her soft-spoken delivery, which is a dead-on imitation of the type of people who host shows like this.
— Clapping being the only thing Bacon contributes to the songs sung by Nealon is pretty funny.
— A little strange, by the way, how there’s been two sketches tonight centered around clapping.
— I really liked the part with a sample played from Bacon’s solo album, which just consists of clapping with no music whatsoever.
— Funny part with Bacon very briefly demonstrating the music he learned in other countries.
STARS: ***½

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Suicide Blonde”

DAILY AFFIRMATION WITH STUART SMALLEY
insecure Stuart Smalley (ALF) teaches self-acceptance

— Ladies and gentlemen, we have a major recurring sketch debut!
— These past three episodes alone, we’ve gotten the debuts of Super Fans, Deep Thoughts, Richmeister, Coffee Talk, and Daily Affirmation With Stuart Smalley. That’s amazing, and really shows the new direction the show has slowly been taking this season.
— Very interesting use of Al Franken, who doesn’t usually go this deep into character when appearing in sketches during the late 80s/early 90s years.
— Stuart Smalley: “And that’s……. okay.”
— I like Stuart panickedly blanking when trying to come up with a topic on the spot.
— Solid debut overall, and right off the bat, Al Franken has a good handle on this fully-realized character.
STARS: ***½

CLEANING MY RIFLE
a Desert Storm soldier (host) sings “Cleaning My Rifle & Dreaming Of You”

— Bacon’s doing a good imitation of this type of cracking-voiced country singing.
— Clever subtle euphemism with Bacon’s constant mentions of “cleaning my rifle”.
— A nice way to end the show.
— What’s even funnier than this sketch is the number of people who completely miss the masturbation euphemism of the song and think it was supposed to be a serious patriotic number.
STARS: ***

GOODNIGHTS

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IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A pretty solid episode with minimal lowlights and some memorable pieces. I also like how heavily centered around the Gulf War this episode was, which in retrospect serves as a nice time capsule to future viewers like me.

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Sting)
a slight step up

My full set of screencaps for this episode is here

TOMORROW
Roseanne Barr