October 30, 1993 – Christian Slater / Smashing Pumpkins (S19 E5)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
Coffee Talk- in a Barbra costume for Halloween, Linda takes some calls

— You probably already know my reaction to this sketch making yet another appearance…
— Well, at least Linda Richman’s wearing a fairly funny costume this time.
— Geez, tonight’s Coffee Talk installment has been even more catchphrase-driven than usual so far, with all the dialogue in the the entire first minute literally only consisting of an endless string of Richman’s catchphrases that never make me laugh.
— In a desperation to find SOMETHING to like here, I kinda chuckled at the Andre Agassi comments.
STARS: *½

MONOLOGUE
host goes trick-or-treating backstage but fails to gather much candy

— Very fun premise with Christian going around backstage trick-or-treating.
— Some good laughs from the “candy” Christian is being given, such as Tic-Tacs and a prosthetic nose from the makeup department.
— A big laugh from David and Tim trying to get rid of an excessive amount of leftover Coneheads merchandise from the Coneheads movie that had come out earlier that year.
— The baby Conehead doll among the Coneheads merchandise looks like it could be the same one that was held by Nora Dunn in the New Coneheads sketch from Steve Martin’s season 14 episode.
— Very funny part with Lorne hitting on Mike still dressed as Linda Richman, thinking she’s a real woman.
— Nice visual of an excited Chis Farley in a giant pumpkin costume.
STARS: ****

MMMPH?
— Rerun from 5/15/93. We’re only five episodes into this new season, and they’ve already repeated TWO ads from season 18. What’s up with that?

MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
Matt Foley lectures (MEH), (DAS), (host) about Halloween vandalism

 

— Well, it had to happen sooner or later. Matt Foley officially becomes recurring, despite the fact that his first sketch should’ve remained a one-off, as there’s no way they can come anywhere close to topping it. However, I understand why they brought this sketch back.
— You can tell they’re trying hard to recapture the magic of the first installment, with them even going so far as to reuse the same living room set and having David and Phil reprise their roles as one of the troublemaking teens and the dad, respectively.
— Loved Matt Foley’s “I’m the egg man, goo goo g’joob!” reference.
— Yeah, despite the amusement I’ve been getting here, this sketch is definitely not working anywhere near as strongly as the first installment. I kinda find some of the subsequent Matt Foley sketches a little better than tonight’s, partly because they put him in a completely different setting for a change.
— I do like the idea of Matt Foley telling a scary Halloween story while using a flashlight in the dark.
— Now they’re trying to recreate the legendary unscripted breakaway coffee table crash from the first installment, which doesn’t work as well this time as it’s not as spontaneous. At least the subsequent Matt Foley sketches change the type of breakaway prop he falls through.
— Funny bit with the flaming bag.
STARS: ***

SASSY’S SASSIEST BOYS
host & other stars are unthreateningly rebellious

— And now here comes another sketch that was funny the first time but doesn’t seem necessary as a recurring sketch. An early sign of this season’s bad habit of frequently bringing back sketches that were better left as one-offs, as they pulled out all the stops in their first installment and have no legs as a recurring bit.
— I wonder if Christian playing himself as a guest is a reference to the fact David played him in the first installment of this sketch.
— Mike-as-Joey-Lawrence’s dialog consisting only of “Whoa!”s is pretty funny and oddly memorable.
— Jay Mohr’s bug-eyed, out-of-it Andrew McCarthy impression is cracking me up. Only two episodes into his tenure so far, and I’ve been liking what Jay has to offer with his celebrity impressions.
— Phil: “I just stepped in a big pile of sassy!”
— Surprisingly, Phil’s endless “sassy” one-liners into the camera are still remaining funny tonight, despite the thin nature of the gag. I guess it’s that one-of-a-kind Phil Hartman magic that keeps it from getting old.
— I like how the bit with Phil pulling out a map of Sassyland is heightening the absurdity of this sketch.
STARS: ***½

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Cherub Rock”

WEEKEND UPDATE
Queen Shenequa doesn’t like Whoopi Goldberg defending Ted Danson
this year, ADS gives cheap Halloween costume ideas that focus on the face

— Queen Shenequa had a funny slam just now about Ted Danson’s penis size.
— Queen Shenequa’s overall commentary was okay. Also, IIRC, this ends up being this character’s last appearance ever, despite the fact that Ellen still has a little under two seasons left in her SNL tenure. I didn’t realize until now that, between Queen Shenequa making her final appearance here and us already having seen the last of Zoraida (not counting the latter’s appearance in a recurring character group piece at the end of this season), it’s already the end of the road for Ellen’s only two big characters. At this moment, I can’t recall her debuting any new big characters for the remainder of her tenure, though there’s her upcoming recurring-but-short-lived Jocelyn Elders impression that I remember kinda liking.
— Adam’s annual Halloween costume suggestions makes its final Weekend Update appearance. (It makes a resurgence a year later as a brief part of a Ross Perot trick-or-treating sketch.)
— As always with these Halloween costume commentaries, Adam is able to mine a surprising amount of charming, fun laughs out of such an overly simple, childish premise.
— One of the SNL bumper photos shown of Christian Slater tonight has him holding the handle of a coffee mug in front of his eye like a monocle (screencap below). I’d like to think that’s a clever reference to Adam’s Halloween costume routine.

— Coincidentally, the only two Update guests tonight, Queen Shenequa and Adam Sandler as himself giving Halloween costume suggestions, were also the only two Update guests in Christian Slater’s previous episode.
STARS: ***

TEEN BAND
(host) & fellow teens debate what their band’s name & focus should be

— David’s sotto voce “I like Loverboy” aside made me laugh.
— Some pretty funny idiotic interjections and ramblings from Chris’ stoner character, such as suggesting the band call themselves Pearl Jam 2, and his story about getting crabs from his friend’s couch.
— I loved Christian’s “Did you just make some money in the last five minutes?” question when Melanie again suggests “Let’s go get some pot” shortly after suggesting it a first time.
— I’m conflicted on this sketch. I like the realistic, simple, slice-of-life premise, but the execution is iffy. There’s some laughs, but the sketch as a whole isn’t coming off particularly interesting, and I’m not caring at all for the running bit with Christian’s character and his off-camera mom having a shouting match.
— Adam working in his goofy-voiced guitar song shtick from Weekend Update felt kinda out-of-place and tacked-on in this sketch.
STARS: **

OUT OF AFRICA
(host) & tribal art dealer deny marijuana possession during police bust

— Oh, dear god, no.
— The endlessly-repeated “You put your weed in there!” catchphrase continues to increasingly get on my last nerve with each passing utterance.
— We get a “big change” with the addition of Christian as a similar co-employee of Rob’s character, which only means we now have TWO characters saying the stupid “You put your weed in there!” catchphrase, as if that’s somehow supposed to be funnier.
— Okay, I finally got a chuckle just now, from Christian’s line to Tim about how he and Rob need to keep Tim’s weed-clogged artifact overnight to get the weed out.
— Why does this recurring sketch always have to conclude with cops showing up?
— Poor ending.
— Thankfully, this ends up being the final installment of this sketch. I think I recall once reading someone claim that a third installment of this sketch appears in the Emilio Estevez episode from later this season, but it absolutely does not. My memory of reading that false claim is admittedly very fuzzy, so perhaps the person claiming that was actually saying the sketch got cut after dress rehearsal in the Estevez episode.
STARS: *½

THE VALLENCOURT BOYS
New Englanders (ADS) & (KEN) drink & take calls

— Adam appears to be playing a variation of his Boston-accented Tony Vallencourt character from the What’s The Best Way gameshow sketch from season 18, only this time he’s named Bobby Vallencourt and has a mullet and flannel jacket that he didn’t have last time. To make things even more confusing, the next time this character appears, which is in the cold opening of the following season’s Bob Saget episode, he goes back to having the Tony Vallencourt name from his first appearance while still having the mullet and flannel jacket from tonight’s appearance.
— It is just me, or does Kevin’s Boston accent sound lousy and unnatural?
— I recall once reading a spot-on comment made back at this time in 1993 (within this post here) that basically said this sketch feels like a bad attempt at a Boston-themed version of SCTV’s McKenzie Brothers sketches.
— Oh, talk about lousy Boston accents, here comes Tim. While there’s an affable goofiness in Tim’s presence here that usually works for me in other Tim Meadows performances, it’s not doing a thing for me here.
— Man, this sketch is DEAD so far. No real laughs from me (nor the audience) at all.
— Wait, did Kevin just say “Before we bring out our next guest”? Ugh, I thought this boring sketch was mercifully about to end. Turns out they’re bringing out a guest now? So you mean I still have a few more minutes to put up with this snoozefest?
— Unfortunately, the interview with Christian didn’t make this overall sketch any better. I’ve gone through this entire overlong sketch without finding a single worthwhile aspect.
STARS: *

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Today”

THE HEADLINE STORE
joke headline shop owner (host) belittles choices of Canteen Boy & others

— Tonight’s episode continues to die a long, miserable death. This sketch is pure one-joke material; a joke that wasn’t funny to me to begin with.
— A rare flub from Phil, as he accidentally blocks the newspaper headline Christian holds up (the third above screencap for this sketch) and doesn’t realize it until towards the end of the shot.
— A random Canteen Boy walk-on? Not so happy to see him so soon after that awful Garage Sale sketch he starred in just two episodes ago.
— I recall an SNL fan once saying that this sketch would’ve worked had Norm Macdonald played Christian Slater’s role. I can definitely see that. Something about this sketch’s material does seem like something that only Norm could sell with his unique delivery.
— Chris tries to breathe some life into this dead sketch, but I just see it as one of way too many Screaming Chris Farley Roles that we’ll be bombarded with over the course of both this and (especially) next season.
— A lame, dumb ending.
STARS: *

TRENT MARKHAM, LUNG DOCTOR
cigarettes escape blame in the ’50s

— Ah, thank god Phil Hartman has come to save the day after an endless string of horrible sketches.
— Phil always succeeds in these authentic 1950s-era black-and-white pieces, and this sketch feels like a nice throwback to his first season where SNL often did sketches like this. While tonight’s sketch feels slightly empty not seeing Phil being surrounded by the castmates he always used to perform these black-and-white sketches with, like Jon Lovitz, Dana Carvey (who probably would’ve worked an “I oughta pound yooouuu!” into this sketch), and Nora Dunn, Phil’s still receiving nice support from Julia and Christian.
— Pretty funny ad-lib from Christian when Julia unexpectedly has trouble lighting his cigarette.
— I loved the dark humor of Phil handing a cigarette to a newly-pregnant Julia and telling her “Take a big pull; you’re smoking for two now!”
STARS: ***½

GOODNIGHTS

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IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— The worst episode of the season so far, and the weakest episode I’ve reviewed in quite a while. The first half of this episode, while not terrible, was dominated by lazily rehashed material, one of which was a recurring sketch I typically don’t like and went particularly heavy on the catchphrases tonight (Coffee Talk), and two of which were newly-recurring sketches that were probably better left as funny one-off pieces last season despite still producing some laughs tonight (Matt Foley and Sassy’s Sassiest Boys, though the latter ended up being better tonight than I thought it would). And the second half of this episode? Yikes. It already started off iffy with the somewhat-promising but uninteresting Teen Band sketch, and only got worse and worse with each passing sketch, some of which produced literally no laughs from me AT ALL, and some of which felt like a sneak preview of what we’ll typically see next season. Thankfully, the night ended on a high note with a solid and classy Phil Hartman sketch showing up out of nowhere. Other than that sketch, the only real highlights of the overall night were the monologue and a portion or two of Weekend Update.

MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS

 

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (John Malkovich)
a huge step down

My full set of screencaps for this episode is here

TOMORROW
Rosie O’Donnell