Month: September 2019

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January 8, 1994 – Jason Patric / Blind Melon (S19 E10)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

INAUGURAL SPEECH
Rudolph Giuliani’s (KEN) son Andrew (CHF) upsets NYC mayoral inauguration

— A funny contrast when the footage of the real Giuliani and his son crossfades to a shot of them being played by Kevin and Chris.
— Chris’ various actions are a funny spoof of how Giuliani’s son acted at the real inauguration.
— There’s practically no material in this cold opening, but Chris is impressively milking every possible laugh out of such a thin piece and and is actually making it very memorable.
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
host is less than thrilled to be on SNL; LOM asks him not to be a downer

— A notorious monologue. I’m a bit conflicted, as I really want to like Jason Patric’s dryness here, and he (or should I say, whoever wrote this monologue) isn’t wrong about some of his criticisms of the then-current state of the show, but geez, the man is not coming off well at all here, and it feels wrong for an SNL episode in an increasingly less-than-stellar season to start in such a dour manner. A funnier host more skilled at deadpan, snarky humor would at least sell the anti-SNL attitude thing much better and give it an amusing feel instead of a sour feel.
— Jason riffs on the fact that going backstage to talk to Lorne is an overused, cliched monologue trope, and he adds “Let’s run this device into the ground together” (which is a funny line that, again, would’ve killed had it been delivered by someone more adept at snarky humor). Hmm, I think he’s picking on the wrong monologue trope. Considering the trend of the monologues this season, he should consider himself damn lucky they aren’t having him take questions from the audience.
— I kinda smiled at him explaining to us that, unlike hosts who like to run back to the home base stage after a backstage scene, he’s just going to take his time. Again, I’m conflicted on this monologue. Part of me strangely kinda loves this idea of a host using their monologue to deconstruct SNL’s bad cliches, but the wrong host is delivering it.
— Oddly, at the very end of this monologue as the SNL Band starts playing the show to commercial, Jason walks back to the home base stage’s entrance doors behind him and starts to open the door, only to pause, turn back and run past the camera to get changed backstage. What was that all about? Reruns of this monologue hide this by fading out early when Jason stats to head towards the home base stage’s entrance doors.
STARS: **


THE NFL ON FOX
John Madden (CHF) & Luke Perry (host) anchor at halftime

— Funny start with the “90210”-style opening credits for NFL on FOX.
— Boy, Chris is doing the world’s worst John Madden impression ever heard.
— The joke of Jason’s Luke Perry only speaking in moody “90210”-esque one-liners has gotten old fast.
— I’m really liking Julia’s Peg Bundy impression. Considering how badly underused and misused Julia has been this season (and it only gets worse the next few months), often being relegated to small straight roles, it feels refreshing to actually laugh at a performance of hers.
— The Deion Sanders/Kim Wayans scene is freakin’ terrible.
— Minutes later, they’re still running the unfunny Luke-Perry-says-deep-one-liners joke into the ground.
— Boy, talk about terrible, the jokes for Jay’s Don Rickles are cringeworthy. In his SNL book, Jay blames the audience’s silence during his portion of this sketch on the fact that they couldn’t recognize him under that heavy makeup (he mentions in that part of the book that he could hear a girl in the audience ask “Is that Spade?”). Sorry, Jay, but I think the audience was dead because your lines weren’t funny and your Rickles impression didn’t work.
— I kinda like what Adam’s going for with his Richard Lewis impression.
— The “Melrose Place” scene with Phil’s Jimmy Johnson is yet another scene in this sketch that’s falling flat.
— Reruns show the dress rehearsal version of the “Melrose Place” scene. Phil’s wig in that version is a bit different, and the scene goes on a little longer, at one point featuring Sarah Silverman’s Heather Locklear leaving and Phil’s Jimmy Johnson saying something to himself while in deep thought.
— Mercifully, this bore of a sketch has ended. This overall sketch just plain didn’t work, which is a shame considering the format itself was fun and had promise.
STARS: *½


THE ROAD TO SELF-IMPROVEMENT
Don Lapre’s (DAS) word truncation scheme

— Good to see David’s Don Lapre impression back. I’ve always liked tonight’s Don Lapre sketch even more than the one from the preceding season’s finale.
— The “airport schmairport” bit is funny.
— This is the first time all night where a Jason Patric performance is actually working for me (and will probably end up being the only time all night, from what I remember of the rest of this episode).
— Lots of funny little lines all throughout this sketch.
— I love the dark humor of Phil’s prisoner character cheerfully revealing he’s going to be executed by “leath injecsh”.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL GUEST INTRO


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “No Rain”


WEEKEND UPDATE
KEN gives a subliminal commentary on excessive criticism of Bill Clinton

— Not crazy about the jokes so far.
— WTF?!? In the copy I’m watching, right as Kevin begins his Subliminal Commentary, the audio suddenly cuts off and is randomly replaced by audio from a freakin’ Empty Nest episode. I kid you not. I’m aware that this is a local NBC affiliate error.
— Jesus, it’s now almost a minute-and-a-half later, and even long after Kevin has ended his Subliminal Commentary and has moved on back to news jokes, the Empty Nest audio has yet to stop. One of Kevin’s jokes I missed involved him flinching in fear from a picture displayed of Jesse Jackson on the news screen. Wonder what that was all about.
— Finally, the Empty Nest audio has ended.
— Great joke from Kevin about Latoya Jackson not being nominated for a Grammy because there’s no category for “crappy”. I recall hearing an opinion that this seems like an Update joke that Norm Macdonald would’ve done the following few seasons, and I can definitely see that. He would’ve sold the punchline even better than Kevin did.
— No guest commentaries tonight?
— Despite a few good jokes and a funny weather map bit, I found this to be a rough Update as a whole and it had a fairly dead atmosphere in some portions, not helped by the lack of a guest commentary, giving this Update even more of an empty, dead feel. The bizarre Empty Nest audio gaffe also didn’t help things, though that’s certainly not Kevin nor SNL’s fault.
STARS: **


MR. INTENSE
Mr. Intense (host) goes to a party & does the hokey-pokey

— I’m currently a little over a minute into this weird sketch, and I have no idea what to say so far, except point out that I haven’t laughed a single time.
— Okay, I can definitely see why Mr. Intense naming off each of the Seven Dwarves in his typically intense, dramatic manner is supposed to be hilarious, but this sketch is another example tonight of something Jason Patric’s doing that would actually be funny if it were given to a more capable host. Imagine Christopher Walken performing this sketch’s material.
— What’s up with Kevin’s overly broad performance? It seems out of place for the tone of this sketch.
— As if this sketch wasn’t already off-putting enough, what the bloody hell was with the fourth wall-breaking ending? Not only was it terrible, but it seemed to be a weird continuation of the “I don’t want to be here” storyline of Jason’s monologue earlier tonight. If this is the show’s way of doing a meta Charles Grodin-type running gag throughout an episode, then this is sad. (Actually, what they’re going for is probably more comparable to what they did with Garry Shandling, but the point still stands) If you’re going to attempt what the Grodin episode beautifully did, you need to be much more clear about it and show far more commitment to the concept. Don’t establish the concept in the monologue and then wait half an episode later to do a half-assed continuation of it, only to never speak of it again for the remainder of the episode.
STARS: *½


COFFEE TALK WITH LINDA RICHMAN
Richard Simmons [real] gives diet tips by singing Streisand

— (*sigh*) Fourth appearance of this sketch in just ten episodes so far this season…
— Hmm, a Richard Simmons appearance. At least he’s providing a distraction from the typical Coffee Talk dullness.
— Simmons is adding a fairly fun vibe to this. His energy is welcome, considering the lethargic atmosphere throughout tonight’s episode.
— Another positive thing about this Coffee Talk sketch is that it has thankfully cut down on the use of Linda Richman’s catchphrases that never make me laugh.
STARS: **½


WHERE’S THE REST OF ME?: THE FABRICE STORY
a hand model (host) copes after losing a finger

— It’s taken two minutes into this sketch for me to get my first laugh, with the whole bit involving Norm giving a rundown on the casualties from the car accident. Great use of Norm’s trademark delivery style.
— Mike seems to be playing a bit of a Dr. Evil prototype here, especially the pinky-in-the-mouth mannerism. Or maybe he’s just doing a variation of his behind-the-scenes Lorne Michaels impression, but then again, that’s what Dr. Evil supposedly is.
— This is the second consecutive episode with a long movie-like sketch involving many scene and set changes, after Sally Field’s I Want My Baby Back sketch. I usually love this type of sketch, but it didn’t work for me much in the Sally Field sketch and it’s DEFINITELY not working for me in this sketch.
— Adam’s line was chuckleworthy, providing only my second (and probably final) laugh of this overlong sketch.
— God bless Phil for trying to save this sketch like the consummate pro he always is, but I’m afraid it ain’t workin’ here.
— The montage of Jason having success with his stump-fingered hand is actually charming in itself, but is going on too long for something not intended to be funny in a sketch that’s already been long and has been failing in its attempts to be funny. In a better sketch, I would’ve loved that montage.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Paper Scratcher”


THE HERLIHY BOY DOG SITTING SERVICE
Mr. O’Malley & (host) beg “let him sit”

— Here’s our latest victim of season 19’s bad habit of making recurring sketches out of stuff that have no legs as a recurring sketch and clearly should’ve remained a solid one-off. And did we really need to see the return of this particular sketch only TWO EPISODES after it debuted?
— Chris is mining some laughs out of this material, but the gradual buildup to his eventual angry screaming rant isn’t being pulled off anywhere NEAR as well as it was in the memorable first installment. This is coming off as a pale and clumsy imitation.
— All I can say about Jason’s random psychotic-ranting character is: WTF?!?!
— Herlihy Boy’s begging eventually getting to the point where he now tells us “Let me be your dog” is worth a good laugh.
— I love how Chris immediately cuts off his “Let the boy be your dog” screaming rant to ask Herlihy Boy in a low-voiced, sensible manner “Tim, I’m not sure what we’re going for here” and “Have you thought this through, Timmy?”
STARS: **


SKI LIFT
while riding a ski lift, (host) has a strange conversation with (KEN)

— Kevin: “Boy, if I had a nickel for every time somebody asked me that, you’d be a dead man, Tony.”
— Finally, a sketch that’s actually making me laugh a lot. This is a very silly sketch that Kevin is perfect for. I’m loving his string of off-beat, disjointed, unsettling one-liners.
— Unfortunately, Jason Patric as this sketch’s straight man is yet ANOTHER example tonight of a role that would’ve worked better with a different host. Thankfully, though, this sketch is making me laugh so much to the degree that Jason’s less-than-stellar straight man performance isn’t hurting it much.
STARS: ****


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very rough episode as a whole, and probably the weakest one I’ve reviewed in quite a long time. There were certainly still some really solid highlights tonight, but they were few and far in between, and a lot of the stuff in between was pretty brutal. While most of the writing did the show no favors, a good chunk of the blame for the lousiness and lethargic atmosphere of this episode goes to Jason Patric, who had a baffling presence, wasn’t funny for the most part, and killed the energy of a lot of pieces. And the half-assed Charles Grodin/Garry Shandling-type conceptual theme they seemingly were going for him was a huge flop.
— Tonight’s episode, the first one of the second half of this season, has really set the tone for the remainder of this season, as we’ve entered what turns out to be a sharp downhill slide in the show’s quality that eventually leads into the infamous season 20. While the first half of the season we’re in wasn’t too great itself, so many things about this season has changed starting with tonight’s midpoint episode; even the look. Have you ever noticed how drastically different the visual appearance of the second half of this season is compared to the first half? That’s always stood out to me, even in the days when I was originally exposed to this season in 60-minute Comedy Central reruns.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Sally Field)
a fairly big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Sara Gilbert

Posted on

December 11, 1993 – Sally Field / Tony! Toni! Toné! (S19 E9)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
ADS plays guitar & sings a song about why he won’t get toys for Christmas

— Hmm, here’s a change of pace: starting the show with a Sandler guitar song on the home base stage. I wonder why we’re not seeing this song on Weekend Update like we’d usually see in this era.
— As usual for Adam’s guitar songs, this song has a catchy melody.
— Ha, Adam seems to have a weird comedy obsession with bearded grandmothers. He mentions one in a lyric here and there’s a whole bit about shaving a grandmother’s beard in a Herlihy Boy sketch from the Emilio Estevez episode later this season. I can’t remember if there’s a bearded grandma joke in Adam’s song about his grandmother when cameoing on Weekend Update in the Tom Arnold episode from season 21.
— Some fun confessions of naughty things Adam did this year.
— According to GettyImages, the dress rehearsal version of this cold opening had Rob, Tim, and Chris participating in Adam’s song (pic here and here). I wonder why they got cut from the live show.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
disappointed audience members leave when host says she won’t rehash roles

— The shot of the audience applauding after Sally steps out onstage would later be removed from reruns, presumably because the shot gives away the group of Gidget fans in the front seats, who are going to be shown later in the monologue.
— Oh, no. Yet ANOTHER audience-involved monologue, for the FOURTH episode in a row?
— Okay, so it turns out this monologue isn’t using the tired questions-from-the-audience trope used in the last three consecutive monologues, but it’s still inane to me that SNL keeps relying on audience-involved monologues week after week this season.
— Funny seeing a Burt Reynolds imitation right after the hilariously random shouting of his name from an off-camera audience member during one of Paul Westerberg’s musical performances in the preceding episode.
— I like the bit with Phil’s Burt Reynolds initially getting up to leave when hearing there will be no “Smokey and the Bandit” parody, then changing his mind and staying, only to storm off when Sally mentions she’s always happy to make fun of crazy people.
— A good “You like me, you really, really like me” reference during Chris’ bit.
STARS: ***


NCI
Rerun from 9/25/93


I WANT MY BABY BACK!: THE HARRIET CRALBONI STORY
host in TV movie about mother trying to reclaim kid

 

— I like Kevin’s sleazy performance.
— A good laugh from Tim as the welfare department guy randomly showing up and sternly telling Sally “Give me the baby.”
— During Melanie’s baby-switching confession, there an accidental view of cue cards in the background (seen in the top right corner of the screencap below)

— I’m usually a sucker for this type of epic movie-like sketch that involves many scene and set changes, and the frequent turns and escalations this sketch keep taking are funny in themselves, but I dunno, something about this sketch’s execution is coming off a little underwhelming to me. I’m also not crazy about hearing “I want my baby back!” shouted over and over throughout the sketch, even if that’s part of the point. I am really appreciating Sally’s commitment in her performance, though.
— Didn’t care for the ending.
STARS: **½


WHITE DIAMONDS
soft focus hides Elizabeth Taylor’s (host) age

— An initial laugh from the age-hiding soft focus filter used for Sally’s Elizabeth Taylor. I’m aware this is parodying the use of soft focus in a real Elizabeth Taylor perfume ad from this time.
— Wait, that’s it? The filter joke got old after about 10 seconds and this didn’t go anywhere else.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “If I Had No Loot”


WEEKEND UPDATE
lame duck NYC mayor David Dinkins (TIM) vows revenge on the city

— A good string of Clinton-related jokes early on in this Update.
— A great sudden dark (figuratively and literally) turn during Tim-as-David-Dinkins’ kind message, where he threatens New Yorkers for not voting for him. One of Tim’s funniest showcases during his neglected years in the first half of his SNL tenure.
— Funny little bit after the David Dinkins commentary ends, with Kevin innocently telling us “Hey, I voted for the guy.”
STARS: ***


HEADGAMES
quizmaster (PHH) messes with his relatives’ minds on game show

— Great concept, and a perfect cruel characterization from Phil.
— I’m loving Phil’s seamless transitions from professional gameshow host to sadistic husband/father.
— A lot of really funny back-and-forths between Phil and his family.
— I really liked Phil’s “final round” fake-out to Sally, and her angry response of “You bastard!”
STARS: ****½


BAND SHOT
ROS sings “Blue Christmas” Elvis-style with SNL Band


MOTIVATIONAL SANTA
shopping mall Santa Matt Foley teaches kids about harsh realities of life

— Though I’m still not all that crazy about them keeping Matt Foley a recurring character, I’m glad to see them putting him in a new setting for once, which is a nice change and provides a new outlet for laughs.
— The cue cards make a second onscreen cameo tonight (seen in the top right corner of the screencap below).

— Some good laughs from the Christmas story Foley reads to the kids.
— Farley’s pratfall through the chimney reminds me of Chevy Chase’s famous pratfall off a Christmas tree in a Gerald Ford sketch.
— Overall, though it still comes NOWHERE close to touching the classic first Matt Foley sketch, tonight’s sketch is probably my favorite of all the Matt Foley follow-ups.
STARS: ***½


CRAB LICE SINGLES CLUB
first-timer (host) feels uneasy at a crab lice singles’ club mixer

 

— Uh, what a premise.
— Rob has some funny bits here, such as him trying to tempt Sally with a “romantic” promise to take her to a pharmacy and show her all the disinfectant shampoos, and him combing his hair with a tiny crab lice comb.
— Adam getting busted on not really having crab lice is funny, especially when he answers Phil’s “What color are crabs?” question with “…….Blue???”
— The ending with Chris’ direct-to-camera message fell flat.
— The overall sketch didn’t quite work for me as a whole, but there were some individual funny moments.
STARS: **½


DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY

— Surprisingly, this is the first time we’ve gotten a Deep Thoughts since the season premiere.
— According to episode guides, this Deep Thoughts is a rerun, but it wasn’t in my copy of whatever episode it originally aired in.


THE SUICIDE ATTEMPT MACHINE
Dr. Jack Kevorkian (NOM) shows attention-getting suicide attempt machine

 

— I love seeing Norm cast in this role.
— This is the first of three solo Norm sketches this season that feature him as a famous figure. The other two sketches are funnier and more memorable (Sunday Morning with Charles Kuralt and 60 Minutes), but this is a pretty solid one that I’ve always liked too.
— Good concept.
— I love how, during the Suicide Attempt Machine tape message that’s playing, the camera pans over to Norm’s Kevorkian just grinning at the camera in a smug, somewhat creepy manner.
— Good ending line from Norm’s Kevorkian, with “Maybe this year, what they’ll find under the Christmas tree… is you!”
STARS: ***½


DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Tell Me Mama”


PRAYING
Jesus (PHH) asks a pious housewife (host) to pray more selectively

— I’m enjoying Sally’s religious southern housewife characterization here, as well as her habit of praying for trivial things.
— Always very welcome to see Phil’s Jesus appearing in a sketch.
— Considering he’s been getting phased out this season, it’s great to see so much Phil throughout tonight’s episode. Tonight’s episode is one of the final gasps of Phil’s dominance from seasons 12-18.
— I loved Phil’s delivery of “…I know…” when Sally tells him “I pray to you all the time”.
— Excellent reveal that Jesus is here to ask Sally to try not praying so much.
— Phil’s down-to-earth delivery as Jesus is so great.
— Overall, a fantastic sketch and our second strong and memorable Phil Hartman-starring piece of the night.
— Years ago, on an old blog Julia Sweeney used to have, I recall seeing a publicity photo of this Praying sketch in an “SNL photos” section of the blog, except Julia was in the praying housewife role, and get this: Christian Slater was in the Jesus role. I kid you not. This sketch must’ve gotten cut after dress rehearsal from the Christian Slater-hosted episode earlier this season. I cannot for the life of me imagine Christian Slater pulling off this role.
STARS: ****½


DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY


BAND SHOT
ROS sings “It’s Now Or Never” Elvis-style with SNL Band
— This is missing from my copy.


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— The quality of tonight’s episode was a little more shaky than the last few episodes, but this was an overall decent episode, keeping alive the streak of satisfying episodes since Rosie O’Donnell. The placement of sketches tonight sure needed some tweaking, though, as it wasn’t the best idea to have the two lead-off sketches be iffy pieces like I Want My Baby Back and White Diamonds while burying the solid stuff after Weekend Update. Sally Field was a very game host who gave fully committed performances in every sketch, even the weaker ones.
— This is the final episode before there’s a change of tone in several aspects of this season, especially the quality.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Charlton Heston)
a step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
We enter the year 1994, with host Jason Patric

Posted on

December 4, 1993 – Charlton Heston / Paul Westerberg (S19 E8)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PLANET OF THE APES
host finds himself transported back to The Planet Of The Apes

— I like Charlton’s delivery of “Why the hell didn’t somebody wake me up?”
— Fantastic gradual reveal that the entire studio has been taken over by apes.
— This cold opening is amazing and extremely fun to watch.
— When a wandering Charlton stops near a big scarecrow-looking “X” thing in front of the musical guest stage, he’s supposed to say “What kind of a show is this?!”, but instead, there’s awkward dead air as he just stands there silently for a VERY long time, looking kinda lost before he finally delivers his line. I think he was just waiting for his cue, not realizing that he was already given it. Needless to say, this gaffe would later be removed in reruns.
— An ape version of a Richmeister sketch!
— For some reason, the way Ape Rob Schneider angrily pounds his fists on the desk while repeatedly going “Ooh-ooh!” in an ape-like manner cracks me up.
— Hilarious bit with Charlton seeing a silent, dopey-smiling Chris Farley and thinking his brain has been removed like Phil’s, only for Tim to reveal “Chris is fine; he’s always like this”, followed by Chris saying “Ten Commandments was awesome!”
— The ending shot, in which Charlton gets a net thrown on him, quotes his famous “damn dirty apes” line, and says “Live from New York…”, would later be replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns. Not sure why. The most noticeable differences between the live and rerun version is that the rerun has the (human) audience audibly applauding after Charlton’s “damn dirty apes” line and Charlton uses a different delivery for his “Live from New York…”
STARS: *****


OPENING MONTAGE
— Oh, I love this! SNL is going all out on the “apes taking over the studio” premise by having it carry over into the opening montage, with the show going through all the trouble of recreating the opening montage by doing an ape-ified version of all the human shots.

— So much attention to detail in these recreated shots (some side-by-side comparisons below), right down to a blonde female ape’s swinging earring during the recreation of Phil Hartman’s sequence.

 

— This really makes you wish SNL played around with their opening montages more often like this.
— Excellent touch with musical guest Paul Westerberg being introduced as “singing human” and Charlton Heston being introduced as “captured slave”.


MONOLOGUE
captured host tries to explain to audience monkeys- “I’m not a mutant”

— More fantastic commitment to the apes premise, by having it continue into the monologue, reminding me of what they cleverly did in the Macaulay Culkin episode from two seasons earlier.
— Great touch with even the SNL Band wearing ape masks. According to an old report I once read on the SNL newsgroup from someone who attended this episode’s dress rehearsal, the ape version of G.E. Smith was actually played by a double. The real G.E. stood off-camera while conducting the band.
— Oh, no. Even this ambitious piece is succumbing to the recent trend of “audience members each ask the host the same dumb question” monologues, which makes this the THIRD consecutive monologue with that premise, and the fourth one of this overall season so far. I was going to dock some serious points in my rating for this monologue, but that probably wouldn’t be fair of me. The whole ape thing is at least a fresh and fun spin on this monologue trope, and I’d like to think that this is SNL’s self-deprecating way of mocking their own overreliance on this type of monologue.
— I mentioned in a recent review that a portion of Sarah Silverman’s monologue from her season 40 hosting stint cleverly features her answering questions asked by herself in out-of-context old clips from various season 19 questions-from-the-audience monologues. A brilliant bit, but one glaring omission was a clip of her from tonight’s monologue. It would’ve been freakin’ priceless if, after seeing normal clips of 1993-1994 Sarah Silverman asking questions to 2014 Sarah Silverman, we suddenly got a clip of 1993 Sarah as an ape asking 2014 Sarah “Are you some kind of talking mu-tant?”
— Hmm, maybe I wasn’t wrong in my initial urge to dock points for this monologue. All of the “Are you some kind of talking mutant?”-type questions from the ape audience aren’t all that funny after about 20 seconds.
— Norm Macdonald giving a very Norm Macdonald-esque performance in an ape mask is hilarious in itself. I love how, even if you don’t listen to his voice, you can still tell that’s him under that mask just from his eyes and the way he has his head tilted back.
— Nice addition of a captured-and-chained Lorne.
— Too bad the ape theme of tonight’s episode ends after this monologue. As a huge fan of conceptual SNL episodes (e.g. Charles Grodin and George Wendt/Francis Ford Coppola, two of my favorite SNL episodes ever), it would’ve been amazing had the ape theme continued for the entire night, but that’s probably wishing for too much. It would’ve been hard for SNL to pull off an entire live show in that manner, plus the gag might’ve gotten old after a while.
STARS: ***


INFINITI
Jonathan Pryce (MIM) shows off features of the Infiniti Q45 Toilet

— Pretty funny subject matter, a solid Mike Myers performance, and a spot-on parody of the real Jonathan Pryce commercial from this time.
STARS: ***


COFFEE TALK WITH LINDA RICHMAN
Linda’s goy boyfriend (host) wants to get married

— Oh, here we go again. Three times in just eight episodes so far this season, folks…
— Thank god we at least get a guest in this one, as the last handful of Coffee Talk sketches featured no guests at all and were even more insufferable than usual.
— The odd pairing of Linda Richman and Charlton is actually coming off fairly charming.
— I liked Linda’s “He tries, God knows he tries” when Charlton makes a poor attempt at some Yiddish phrases.
— Once again tonight, there are some awkward pauses before some of Charlton’s lines. Mike Myers seems to be cueing Charlton on his lines during some of the pauses.
— An actual surprising and sweet turn with Charlton proposing to Linda.
— Overall, one of the more tolerable Coffee Talk sketches by default, even if that’s still not saying much by my standards.
STARS: **½


INFINITI
the Infiniti Q45 Toilet has a non-stick finish to guard against caca

— Decent follow-up to the first ad, and there’s some laughs from Mike’s Jonathan Pryce listing off excrement euphemisms in his dignified English accent.
STARS: ***


GANGSTA DANCE RAP SMASHES!
just the album to liven up white partygoers

   

— Rob’s dancing is hilarious.
— This humorously captures the essence of early 90s gangsta rap.
— I’m getting good laughs from the listed-off song titles, such as “We’re Coming To F*** Your White Ass, Mama” by Big Group Of Black Guys, and “Tadaaa! Bloody Whiteboy”, all made even funnier by the fact that they’re being read in Phil Hartman’s cheery, professional voice-over.
STARS: ***½


THE PRESIDENT IS ILLITERATE
the executive’s (host) secret is revealed

— Nice idea for a follow-up to the The President Has Mustard On His Chin sketch from Charlton’s season 12 episode.
— I like Phil giving Charlton a menu from a Chinese restaurant and convincing him that it’s an education bill. We then get a hilarious visual of Charlton intensely “studying” the Chinese menu.
— There’s some unintended awkwardness in Charlton’s delivery at times here.
— Ohho, boy, talk about Charlton coming off awkward. Just now, there’s a big gaffe during Charlton’s televised press conference where, after he puts a “Hello, I am a cretin” button onto his lapel and Kevin responds “Oh… my… god!”, Charlton makes a VEEEEEEERRRRRRY long and awkward pause before he delivers his next line, rivaling his aforementioned long and awkward pause in the cold opening. Poor Kevin and Phil are left to just stand helplessly while waiting and waiting for Charlton to finally deliver his next line. At one point during that insanely long pause of Charlton’s, the audience laughs out loud confusedly. Reruns of this episode replace this entire portion of the sketch with the dress rehearsal version.
— The Cat in the Hat ending scene felt a little too long.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Knockin’ on Mine”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Hollywood Minute- DAS says to Macaulay Culkin “you’ll end up like me”

— What was up with the beginning? This Update oddly opens with absolutely NONE of the applause that Kevin’s Updates usually open with. Then after Kevin’s “Good evening, I’m Kevin Nealon” sign-on, the audience finally applauds. I guess there was a delay in the studio’s light-up “applause” signs.
— During David’s bit about Madonna and Michael Jackson being in a race to see who can end their career first, he throws in a “Oh, what’s this? It’s John Candy out of nowhere in a photo finish!” as a photo of John Candy is shown onscreen. (By the way, how was John Candy ruining his career at this time? Bad movies?) Candy’s untimely death just a few months later would prevent SNL from being able to re-air that joke about him, and reruns edit it out in a very noticeable fashion.
— Some solid moments from tonight’s overall Hollywood Minute, especially the classic Macaulay Culkin bit, where David explains to Macaulay, “Here’s the thing: I used to look EXACTLY like you when I was 10” (complete with a side-by-side comparison of a pic of Macaulay and a childhood pic of David, seen in the fifth above screencap for this Weekend Update) and “This is where you’re headed, buddy; welcome to hell!”
STARS: ***½


CAREER DAY
King Solomon Junior High’s Career Day guests include false prophet (host)

 

— Rob’s mundane, dry description of his boring job is funny, as is his answering David’s question with “Good question! (pause) No.”
— The leper scene with Mike is tickling me.
— Funny bit at the end of Mike’s leper scene, with his handshake fake-out to Julia.
— Ellen has really been struggling badly for airtime lately. Tonight is the second episode in a row where she only makes one small appearance all night.
— The false prophet bit with Charlton is very solid, and I laughed out loud at his delivery of “God told me to say that!……No, he didn’t.”
STARS: ***½


INFINITI
other Infiniti Q45 Toilet features include a seat & a drink holder

— Decent visual of the toilet having a fancy cup holder.
— Was it really necessary to end this by repeating the “Oh, and tell them you already know the part about the caca” line from the end of the second Infiniti ad earlier tonight?
STARS: ***


THE NRA LOANER
in response to Brady Bill, host announces NRA’s Five-Day Loaner Program

— Pretty funny concept of the NRA providing a 5-day loaner gun for people going through a Brady Bill-induced five-day waiting period for their real gun.
— I loved Charlton’s blunt “This thing’ll blow your head off” while the caption “Would Blow Your Head Clean Off” shows up on the bottom of the screen.
— When Charlton has his back turned to the camera (and thus, has his back turned to the cue cards) while listing off some of the guns he’s pointing out on a wall, you can tell he’s reading his lines off of a small piece of paper hidden in his hand. He’s doing a poor job of masking the fact that he’s reading (the last two above screencaps for this sketch). I’m not 100% sure, but I think reruns replace this sketch with the dress rehearsal version, where Charlton doesn’t resort to reading the gun names off a hidden sheet of paper in his hand (or at least doesn’t do it as blatantly as he does in the live version).
STARS: ***


BAG BOY
stock boy (host) with 42 years of experience uses threats to keep his job

— Oh, here comes something that’s always been one of my personal favorites.
— Priceless turn with Charlton responding to Phil’s hint of a potential firing by telling him a dark story involving a fired man and a shotgun. I also absolutely love how Charlton demonstrates the “insane death dance” that the man in the story does.
— Very funny running gag with Charlton’s wildly inaccurate answers to a cashier’s price check questions.
— Charlton continues to deliver absolutely hilarious disturbing stories in this, especially the headless one he tells to David and Adam. Charlton is killing me in this sketch, and this is such a perfect use of him. This sketch also would’ve worked perfectly for Christopher Walken and other older hosts who excel at pulling off oddball, creepy roles.
— Great deadpan disturbed reactions from Phil throughout this.
— I love the little touch with Charlton tossing his price sticker tool in the air in a carefree manner at the very end of the sketch.
STARS: *****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Can’t Hardly Wait”


THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
Dathan (ROS) says bad things about Moses (host) behind his back

— Funny and spot-on Edward G. Robinson impression from Rob.
— Despite Rob’s fun performance, the humor in this sketch has started to get kinda dull after a while.
— Okay, things have gotten a little funnier right now, with the made-up Ten Commandments Rob lists off.
STARS: **½


THE HERLIHY BOY HOUSE-SITTING SERVICE
Mr. O’Malley (CHF) lends support

   

— An interesting and unusual structure to this sketch.
— Another display of amusing stupidity from an Adam Sandler role.  His overly simplistic requests and begging have some good lines.
— You can tell Adam is amused by Chris’ little mumblings at the end of each of his calm-voiced interjections to the camera.
— The “Please don’t make me wash the sheets” bit was really funny.
— Chris gradually transitioning from calm and rational to worked up and angry, to the degree that he eventually goes on a long, shouty tirade, is pulled off very impressively, and feels like a spiritual successor to the classic Weekend Update rants that Chris’ idol John Belushi did back in the original era. Besides the first Matt Foley sketch and the Hidden Camera Commercials film by Tom Schiller, tonight’s Herlihy Boy sketch is probably the best and most quintessential use of Chris’ knack for screaming, a knack that will unfortunately become increasingly very misused and abused for the remainder of his SNL tenure.
— This overall sketch must’ve been an immediate big hit with viewers, because in reruns, it’s moved from the 10-to-1 spot to an early spot in the first half of the show, while the Gangsta Dance Rap Smashes sketch from the first half of the show is moved to this 10-to-1 spot.
STARS: ****


GOODNIGHTS

— Charlton pauses so long during an applause break in the middle of his goodnights speech that the SNL Band cuts him off prematurely before he’s even gotten a chance to thank Paul Westerberg. When realizing he didn’t get to thank Westerberg, Charlton opens his mouth to the camera as if he’s about to say something, but just silently pauses with his mouth still open (as seen in the first above screencap for these goodnights), and then gives up when realizing it’s too late because the goodnights theme music has fully kicked in. Pay attention to Ellen Cleghorne’s face in the background next time you watch this. Her facial reactions during this whole incident are funny.
— After the accidental snub, Westerberg seems to tell Charlton it’s okay, but then does something odd: right before shaking hands with Charlton, Westerberg intentionally(?) coughs into the same hand that he’s about to shake Charlton’s hand with. I hope that wasn’t a subtle F-U to Charlton for accidentally snubbing him. He didn’t appear to be genuinely bothered by the snub, so maybe I’m looking too much into the cough/handshake thing. Still a gross thing to do, though.
— In his SNL book Gasping For Airtime, Jay Mohr talks about Charlton’s accidental Paul Westerberg snub from these goodnights, but his recollection is COMPLETELY different from what actually happened. Jay claims that Charlton does thank Westerberg during his goodnights speech, but Charlton hilariously calls Westerberg by the wrong last name by accident (I can’t remember what it was; something goofy-sounding like “Westerblerger”). Somebody then tells Charlton the correct pronunciation of Westerberg’s last name, and Charlton then says to the camera “Oh, I’m sorry. Ladies and gentlemen, Paul Westerblerger!”, making the exact same mistake twice! A hilarious story, but absolutely none of this actually happens during the goodnights we see in the live show. I know there are some inaccuracies in Jay’s book, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt on this one. The “Paul Westerblerger” incident probably happened during the dress rehearsal goodnights, and Jay must’ve misremembered it as being from the live goodnights.

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A solid episode with some truly fantastic highs, especially the ambitious and memorable format-breaking Planet of the Apes running theme in the first 7 or so minutes of the show and the hilariously dark Bag Boy sketch. Charlton Heston had several iffy and awkward moments throughout the show, where he would have a serious delay with a line or seem kinda lost, but those moments are understandable and forgivable when you keep in mind how old the man was at this time. The stuff that he did well tonight, he nailed, especially the aforementioned Bag Boy sketch.
— Starting with the Rosie O’Donnell episode, this wildly inconsistent and worrisome season suddenly seems to have hit a nice groove, as tonight was the third consecutive episode that I’ve liked and had very few problems with. Considering that the upcoming second half of the season is where the trouble for this season REALLY starts fully kicking in (the Jason Patric episode is the point where it officially begins), I guess the string of satisfying episodes we’ve been having lately can be considered the calm before the storm.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Nicole Kidman)
a step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Sally Field hosts the Christmas episode