February 14, 1998 – Roma Downey / Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott (S23 E13)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

ABC NEWS SPECIAL REPORT
Monica Lewinsky (MOS) addresses Congress regarding Bill Clinton

— A bit odd how extras are playing Al Gore and Newt Gingrich, both standing behind Molly’s Monica Lewinsky.
— A traditional SNL gag where we get constant cutaways to real footage of certain politicians in the crowd while someone is giving a State of the Union-type address. Some of the cutaways in tonight’s cold opening are particularly funny being shown during Molly-as-Lewinsky’s schoolgirl-type rambling about her romantic and sexual encounters.
— Hmm, Ana playing a real-life law professor named Catherine McKinnon. Is it safe to assume that Catherine McKinnon’s nickname is Kate?
— This feels longer than typical cold openings. The portions with Molly’s Monica Lewinsky are mostly fine, but even the gag with the cutaways to politicians in the crowd during her speech is going on too long (hell, they used the same shot of Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan twice). And the portions with Darrell’s Ted Koppel interviewing panelists aren’t providing many laughs and feel unnecessary to this cold opening. Not even Tim’s deadpan “I hate this country” made me laugh as much as it should’ve.
STARS: ***

OPENING MONTAGE
— Don Pardo noticeably sounds a little under the weather tonight. SNL would later fix this in reruns by replacing his announcements with ones where he sounds like his usual self.

MONOLOGUE
backstage, host & Della Reese (TRM) bring salvation to fallen castmembers

— Tracy is hilarious as Della Reese.
— I like Darrell’s silly portrayal of himself as a violent man.
— Molly’s portrayal of herself as a belligerent drunken druggie isn’t too far removed from her Courtney Love impression.
— Good bit with Will portraying himself as a sleazy porno director.
— I got a laugh from Roma Downey’s passing mention of having bitchslapped Chris Kattan earlier in the week.
— Lorne’s convoluted description of the seedy business he deals in is funny, as is him not being changed by Roma and Della’s attempt to make him see the light.
STARS: ***½

CHESS FOR GIRLS
Rerun from 12/6/97

WEDDING VOWS
Marty & Bobbi renew their wedding vows & do a medley about their sex life

— A laugh from Marty’s description of his and Bobbi’s naked bodies when they typically wake up in the morning.
— Tonight’s song medley isn’t amusing me as much as the Culps’ medleys usually do (maybe because I’m not familiar with some of these songs). Chumbawumba’s “Tubthumping” is the only song so far that I got a laugh from.
— A big laugh from Marty and Bobbi’s awkward, nasty-looking, tongue-y kiss during their medley.
STARS: ***

CATHERINE THE GREAT
Catherine the Great’s (host) equine affair denial has Clinton parallels

— A somewhat interesting idea to do a Catherine The Great horse sex scandal parody that parallels the Lewinsky scandal.
— I like the absurdity of Ana doing her contemporary Helen Thomas impression in a sketch set in the year 1766.
— A weak and lazy ending, with us just seeing a newspaper headline with the word “Ponygate”.
— Overall, ehh. Despite the somewhat clever premise, this sketch pretty much just came and went with very few laughs from me.
STARS: **

MARTHA STEWART LIVING VALENTINE SPECIAL
ideas for how to spend Valentine’s Day alone

— Odd how we’re getting a Martha Stewart Living sketch two episodes in a row. I can’t complain, though.
— A huge laugh from the butt-shaped erotic cake, as well as the comment Ana’s Martha Stewart makes after tasting a sample of it: “Now that’s a sweet piece of ass.”
— Another hilarious bit, this time with Martha’s tip on defecating in a box and leaving it on your ex-husband’s front porch, complete with a scene of her doing that to her own ex-husband.
STARS: ****

EYE ON THE OLYMPICS
Canadian snowboarder Ross Rebagliati (JMB) shows signs of Nagano weed use

— A no-brainer to cast Jim in this role of a pot-smoking Olympian. By the way, as this season progresses, it’s becoming more and more of a rarity to see Jim carry a sketch. He’s been invisible this season. I wonder what the reason is behind his reduced airtime lately. He’s basically become to this season what Mark McKinney was to the preceding season.
— Jim’s performance is fairly fun, but the stoner jokes here are standard, cliched, and bland. They did this humor a little better in the Issues sketch from earlier this season.
— Tracy almost saves this sketch with his funny walk-on as the leader of the Jamaican bobsledding team.
STARS: **

RIDING MY DONKEY POLITICAL TALK SHOW
pundits defend media atop asses

— Yes! I’m eager to finally see this. I’ve always been aware of this well-loved sketch, and have seen some clips from it, but this is my first time actually seeing the sketch in its entirety.
— An insanely catchy theme song, and I also love the graphics in the accompanying opening credits.
— A great bizarre concept of a political talk show with the host and panelists being atop donkeys for no good reason. This is like a much-improved version of the Donkey Basketball Camp sketch from Charles Barkley’s season 19 episode.
— Haha, holy hell! Early on in the sketch, things already go off the rails, with Tim nearly falling backwards off his donkey when his donkey begins to wander out of the shot. Tim returns into the shot with his donkey while making a great ad-lib: “I just wanted to get some water.”
— Fun seeing Tim, Will, Ana, and Darrell each trying not to crack up during all of the unscripted messiness throughout this already-inherently-crazy sketch.
— Another unintentional laugh from another gaffe, this time with the very delayed effect of an arrow sticking out of Darrell’s chest.
— Haha, it looked like Tim almost fell backwards off his donkey again at the very end of the sketch.
— Overall, this sketch was a beautiful absurd mess, and absolutely lived up to the hype.
STARS: *****

PHONE CALL
Monica Lewinsky’s answering machine records Bill Clinton’s first call

— An interesting and experimental idea.
— Good detail with a beret being on the table next to Monica Lewinsky’s answering machine.
— An overall pretty straightforward piece, but it worked for what it was.
STARS: ***

WEEKEND UPDATE
COQ uses Cops analogy to explain America’s status as “world’s policeman”
COQ says he’ll marry Madonna, as long as certain ground rules are honored

— God, I love that opening theme music.
— Much like the last Update, tonight’s Update starts with Colin doing another straight-to-camera breakdown of something big in the news. Unfortunately, this particular breakdown isn’t very funny.
— And now, after the aforementioned breakdown has ended with a somewhat quiet audience, Colin VERY awkwardly turns to the other camera to start doing traditional news jokes. Geez, he didn’t even bother to segue into the jokes.
— Boy, quite a lot of Colin’s jokes tonight are getting a fairly tepid audience reaction.
— Ha, I like how after one particular joke got a poor reaction from the audience, Colin ad-libs “I should’ve bought my donkey.”
— Ah, now we get an actual funny straight-to-camera breakdown from Colin, with him setting the ground rules for Madonna in case she and Colin ever get married to each other. I like the randomness of this segment, as well as Colin’s very assertive, straightforward approach.
— Wow, Update is over already? It felt like it was only about 4 minutes long, and there were no guest commentaries.
— Overall, after having a surprisingly strong Update in the last episode, Colin has unfortunately taken a huge step back tonight, despite a few decent moments.
STARS: **

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Sock It 2 Me” & “Beep Me 911”

COUSIN FRAN
before her cousin’s (host) wedding, bitter Fran (CHO) piles on self-pity

— Cheri attempts a new character, one that we end up never seeing again.
— A minute and a half into this sketch, I finally got my first real laugh, from Cheri’s rude off-camera comment about Ana’s deaf husband.
— Boy, I don’t know about this sketch. I appreciate the realism they’re going for in Cheri’s character, but I’m not caring much for the execution of this sketch.
— What the hell happened at the end? After flicking her cigarette out of the shot, Cheri looks off-camera and briefly drops character with a worried facial expression (screencap below) as if she accidentally hit someone off-camera with her cigarette, then looks straight at the camera, then just embarrassedly walks out of the scene as the sketch fades to black. What in the world?!?

STARS: **

PHONE CALL
Monica Lewinsky’s answering machine captures date-night Bill Clinton call

— Ah, a runner.
— I like the mileage SNL has been getting out of the Lewinsky scandal so far in these last two episodes. It shows how much the Lewinsky scandal consumed America at this time.
— I’m finding the humorous realism of Bill’s phone message a little funnier in this one than I found it in the first Phone Call segment earlier tonight.
STARS: ***½

THE LADIES’ MAN
Leon helps callers create Valentine’s Day romance

— I’m not 100% sure, but I think this is the last Ladies’ Man sketch to feature Tracy’s stage manger character Montel. I know this character of Tracy’s is just a very minor role, but I’ve always liked the camaraderie and banter that he and Leon Phelps have with each other.
— The call from Molly felt like it should’ve been longer.
— Leon’s “bumpin’ and squirtin’” poem was very funny.
— An overall okay Ladies’ Man installment, but felt like a step back from the last installment, which finally took this recurring sketch out of the basic “Leon Phelps takes calls for a few minutes by himself” format by adding in a guest.
STARS: ***

TV FUNHOUSE
“Ah Lin The Skater Man” by RBS- growth hormone fuels the propaganda tool

— A fairly late spot in an episode for a TV Funhouse to air.
— I’m not very familiar with the type of anime that this cartoon is parodying, so I probably don’t appreciate this cartoon as much as I’m sure others would. I’m still getting a good amount of amusement, though, and I like the animation style, which I can tell is a spot-on imitation of the animation style of real anime.
— Good gag with Ah Lin going through a Popeye-esque transformation when eating steroids in a similar manner to eating from a can of spinach, complete with the Popeye theme music playing in the background.
STARS: ***½

VALENTINE’S DAY DANCE
cousin Tina (host) gives man-getting tips to Lou’s Lovely Daughters

— The return of Ana, Cheri, and Molly’s characters from the Lou’s Lovely Daughters sketch in the season premiere.
— This feels like the only time all night that Roma Downey (oh, that’s right, tonight’s episode has a host!) has gotten really into character.
— I recall once hearing that Roma accidentally flashes a nipple one of the many times she adjusts her low-cut top throughout this sketch, but I have yet to notice any nip slips from her.
— Cheri’s unattractive Maria character is getting some good laughs as usual.
STARS: ***

PHONE CALL
Monica Lewinsky’s answering machine saves the last pre-scandal call

— I like how it’s gotten to the point where Bill is now part of Monica’s answering machine greeting.
— A laugh from Bill worriedly asking at the end “You are erasing these messages, aren’t you?”
STARS: ***

GOODNIGHTS
NOM walks on-stage & kisses host

— Norm Macdonald, who has not been in any sketches these last two episodes and was removed from the opening montage, randomly shows up onstage next to Roma, gives her a kiss on the lips after she’s finished with her goodnights speech, then quickly exits the stage. What the…?!?!? I get that it’s Valentine’s Day, but there are so many unanswered questions about this.

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IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— This episode had a pretty dull, forgettable feel. Two great bits (Riding My Donkey Political Talk Show and Martha Stewart Living) were almost lost in a sea of bits that were either just okay, very unmemorable, or flat-out mediocre. Adding to the forgettable feel of this episode was the host, as Roma Downey didn’t stand out at all and played a lot of bland roles that weren’t too far removed from her “Touched By an Angel” persona, aside from one sketch where she was allowed to get loose in (Valentine’s Day Dance).

MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (John Goodman)
a big step down

My full set of screencaps for this episode is here

TOMORROW
Garth Brooks, with special guest Robert Duvall