December 12, 1998 – Alec Baldwin / Luciano Pavarotti with Vanessa Williams (S24 E9)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

APOLOGY
Bill Clinton (DAH) lapses into seduction while stressing his remorse

— Some good laughs from Darrell’s President Clinton delivering various “sorry”s to the camera, in light of senate recently voting to impeach him.
— Very funny line from Clinton about having the board game Sorry in his office.
— I love how Clinton is now using different camera angles, lighting, and background music to prove the sincerity of his “sorry”s.
— Now this is getting even funnier with Clinton’s “sorry”s turning to him seducing us.
STARS: ****

MONOLOGUE
John Goodman [real] & JIF fuel host’s SNL fire a la A Christmas Carol

— Funny beginning with Alec complaining about this being his 8th time hosting “this friggin’ show”, because all the stuff going on with the president’s impeachment makes Alec question what the point is of doing comedy.
— Ha, John Goodman makes YET ANOTHER cameo this season. I think it’s safe to say that he’s gotten more screen time so far this season than cast member Tracy Morgan. By the way, tonight is the THIRD episode this season that Tracy ends up being completely absent in (the other two episodes being Ben Stiller and Jennifer Love Hewitt). Just let that sink in, people: we’re only halfway through this season, and Tracy has already been absent in THREE EPISODES.
— I like the bit with Lorne telling Darrell that they’re gonna have to let him go if Alec has a bad show tonight.
— In the “Live from New York” book, Alec mentions how John Goodman flubbing a line in this monologue resulted in an upset Alec muttering “asshole” under his breath. This incident must’ve happened at dress rehearsal, because it’s nowhere to be seen in the live version I’m currently watching.
— Jimmy’s only been on the show for half a season at this point, and he already gets a good amount of applause from the audience when walking on in this monologue as himself.
— A now-famous aspect of this monologue is SNL accurately predicting that Jimmy would go on to host SNL in December 2011. The exact date is a little off, though, as this monologue states that it would be on December 12, whereas it ended up being on the 17th.
— Fun seeing a future rendition of SNL’s opening montage.
— Hilarious gag in the future opening montage with John Goodman being a cast member.
— Interesting how this 2011 rendition of SNL has Don Pardo replaced by a “Don Pardo 9000” robot. SNL probably thought back in 1998 that there was no way the real Pardo would still be announcing for SNL in 2011, or even be alive. Little did they know…
— A very strong and fun monologue overall.
STARS: ****½

NBA ON NBC
NBC’s NBA lockout coverage puts an exciting spin on negotiations’ tedium

— A funny concept of this ad, presenting NBA lockout negotiations in the style of a typical hyped-up “NBA on NBC” promo.
— I like the various fake-out announcements of featured guests such as “Michael Jordan…..’s agent”.
STARS: ***½

MORNING LATTE
chitchat of Tom & Cass gets into (host)’s personal life

— I like Will and Cheri’s reaction to hearing Alec explain what Global Warming is.
— Funny bit from Cheri about an apology letter that her husband wrote to her for cheating on her.
— We get a variation on the usual “You stupid bitch!” outburst from the producer character in these Morning Latte sketches, by having him tell Will and Cheri to take the gingerbread cookies and “shove ’em in YOUR ASS!” That line only worked for Alec’s great delivery of it.
STARS: ***½

CHILDREN’S CLOWN
mannish 6 year-old girl (host) engenders lust in hospital clown (MOS)

— A very bizarre and interesting premise, with Alec playing a six-year-old girl who supposedly has a condition that makes her look like a grown man.
— Alec’s little girl characterization is funny in how he’s casually just playing it as his normal self.
— Holy hell at Molly and the “six-year-old girl” suddenly making out with wild passion.
— I’m enjoying the disturbing and twisted nature of this sketch, though I can see it being off-putting for some people. I also recall some SNL reviewers from this time in 1998 comparing this to the notorious Canteen Boy sketch that Alec appeared in, though this Clown sketch is pretty tame compared to that.
— I like Molly’s mock-dramatic soliloquy after she gets fired.
— Boy, not only was Ana’s nurse character suddenly making out with the “six-year-old girl” a predictable and unnecessary ending, but it died with the audience.
— Not sure whether or not I like the ending screen crawl revealing that the “six-year-old girl” was later proven to be a 42-year-old man. It kinda felt like a cop-out to avoid a Canteen Boy-like controversy. I did like the last part of that screen crawl, with the screen crawl voice-over (Parnell) saying “Ain’t love a kick in the pants?”
STARS: ***½

TV FUNHOUSE
by RBS- at the first Christmas, Harlem Globetrotters & Jesus play hoops

 

— A funny and spot-on parody of the Harlem Globetrotters animated series from the 70s.
— I love the low-budget laugh track heard all throughout this, with the exact same audio being played of a man literally saying a monotone “Ah ha ha ha ha.”
— Funny visual of Baby Jesus dunking a basketball.
— Nice touch with the ending credits of this TV Funhouse being displayed in a special fancy style.
STARS: ***½

10-10-1776-5-28-1830-242-3-316-68-22
long distance code mnemonic comprises USA human-rights violations

— A great spoof of those long-distance phone commercials from this time period.
— Hilarious how Alec and Ana are treating the complicated breakdown of the insanely-long phone number as if it’s simple.
— I love the very random historical events being used to help you remember each section of the long phone number. This is a very strong piece.
STARS: ****½

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guests perform “Adeste Fideles”

WEEKEND UPDATE
COQ details the maneuvering surrounding the Bill Clinton impeachment vote
TIM, Vanessa Williams, Janice Pendarvis [real] do a sexy Kwanzaa carol

— Some funny vocal impressions from Colin during his opening straight-to-camera rant about President Clinton’s impeachment. I especially like Colin’s Richard Lewis impression.
— Funny unscripted bit with Colin hiding his face with his hand in amused embarrassment (the fourth above screencap for this Weekend Update) over butchering the foreign name of an Olympian.
— A strong and memorable comment from Colin about a now-safe-and-clean New York: “New York has become your crazy drinking buddy who got married and had kids.”
— Here comes Kwanzaa Timmy! This is a popular commentary of Tim’s.
— This Kwanzaa Timmy song is fantastic. Also, nice use of the “Kwanzettes” backing up Tim.
— I like Colin’s exclamation of “Yes!” when Kwanzaa Timmy asks him “Are you in?”
STARS: ***½

THE DELICIOUS DISH
Margaret Jo & Terry salivate over Pete Schwetty’s (host) holiday balls

— Needless to say, here comes a legendary sketch. This is airing much later in this episode than I would’ve expected it to, not only because of what a classic it would go on to be, but because the Delicious Dish sketches in general are usually always placed upfront in the first half of the episodes they appear in.
— This is the first time in a while we’ve seen the Delicious Dish ladies back in the NPR studio, after their last two sketches took place outdoors.
— I love Molly’s brief mention of her “excessive rat problem” at home.
— Aaaaaand there’s the epic turn, with Alec’s line “The thing I’d most like to bring out is my balls.”
— Ana: “My mouth’s watering just thinking about those balls.“ Molly: “It’s been years since I’ve seen any balls.”
— Every single line about Pete Schwetty’s balls is a freakin’ RIOT. I can’t quote anymore lines, or I’d literally end up quoting the entire conversation in this sketch.
— Okay, I do want to quote what is probably universally known as the signature line of this sketch: “No one can resist my Schwetty Balls.” Perfectly delivered by Alec.
— Another thing that makes this sketch great is when you remember that Delicious Dish is a radio show, and you wonder what it must sound like to listeners of this show hearing all of the suggestive talk of “balls”.
— Speaking of what the “balls” talk must’ve sounded like to listeners, I’m surprised this overall sketch didn’t have a moment with either of the Delicious Dish ladies going “Wow, the phone lines are really lighting up tonight.” Maybe I missed it during tonight’s viewing due to laughing so hard throughout the sketch; I could swear from my past viewings that this sketch had that part in it. Maybe I’m thinking of the far inferior sequel they’d later do to this sketch, where Alec’s character promotes his Schwetty Wieners.
STARS: *****

IMPEACHMENT HEARINGS
impeached Bill Clinton’s (DAH) defenders assail his character at hearings

— Feels odd seeing a topical Impeachment Hearings sketch being buried towards the end of an episode, but understandably, SNL didn’t want to place this too close to the solo Clinton cold opening.
— Jimmy’s look as Alan Dershowitz is cracking me up.
— Ha, now Kattan’s look is even funnier as David Kendall.
— Tim playing O.J. Simpson as one of the speakers is worth a laugh.
— A black female extra can be seen playing Maxine Waters on the panel of representatives. Oh, come on, SNL, are you trying to snub Tracy? Tracy played Maxine Waters in the Impeachment Hearings cold opening from the last episode, so naturally, that should’ve been a perfect excuse to have him make AT LEAST one appearance tonight. Is he out sick this week or something?
— Although I’m enjoying this sketch, some parts of it are dragging a little.
STARS: ***

CHANUKAH HYMNS
album features very-unfestive Jewish holiday songs

— I like the accent Alec’s using in this sketch.
— Will’s stiff singing is very funny.
— Some good laughs from all of the bad Chanukah songs being advertised.
STARS: ***½

BULL & BEAR
the drunk businessmen honor Bill Brasky’s Wall Street prowess

— The return of Bill Brasky, after a year-long absence! This ends up being the final installment of the regular run of Bill Brasky sketches. Decades later, it would be revived for one night only, in a Paul Rudd-hosted episode.
— Fun seeing Alec Baldwin AND John Goodman appearing together in a Brasky sketch, considering the host who appeared in the previously-aired Bill Brasky installments was either just Alec or John. By this point, SNL had pretty much no choice BUT to do a Brasky sketch with both hosts present, as all of Will’s castmates who regularly played Brasky buddies (David Koechner, Mark McKinney) were long gone.
— Alec: “Brasky went public with his own buttocks and made 7 million!”
— Alec, in the middle of Will’s Brasky story: “I masturbate to the Teletubbies!”
— Will, on Brasky: “He has a toenail on the end of his penis!”
— Will: “Brasky named the group Sha Na Na! They did not wanna be called that!”
— John: “They use Brasky’s foreskin as a tarp when it rains in Yankee Stadium!”
— I like that this Brasky sketch is going on longer than usual.
— Hey, why’d this sketch end without Tim ever showing up as his usual “Hey, are you guys talking about Bill Brasky?” character? After all, they had Ana show up as her usual “You men smell awful!” character, so where was Tim?
STARS: *****

GOODNIGHTS

---

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very solid Christmas episode and Alec Baldwin episode. Not only was this episode strong, and not only were there no sketches that I found weak, but we got a great one-two punch of classics Kwanzaa Timmy and Schwetty Balls airing back to back with each other. I also like how the novelty of having Luciano Pavarotti as a musical guest gave this episode a special feel, as did the use of a full orchestra being shown playing music in the studio during some of the commercial breaks.

MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Vince Vaughn)
a moderate step up

My full set of screencaps for this episode is here

TOMORROW
We enter the year 1999, with host Bill Paxton