Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
LAMAZE CLASS
in Lamaze class, Marty & pregnant Bobbi perform a gestation medley
— After three straight “political figure sits behind a desk and addresses the nation” cold openings, it’s refreshing to get a non-political opening.
— Speaking of refreshing, it feels so good to see Will back after his absence from the last two episodes.
— This ends up being the final appearance of The Culps during their original run, not counting when they would be resurrected years later in both a Will Ferrell-hosted episode from 2012 and SNL’s 40th Anniversary Special.
— SNL finds another good way to work Ana’s real-life pregnancy into the show.
— Marty Culp, during the usual “hot mic” spiel: “Would it be too much trouble to ask to get the sound right just one time? No? Not gonna happen?” Interesting how that line takes place in what ends up being the final regular Culps installment.
— I love the metaphors The Culps use when expressing surprise at Bobbi getting pregnant at her age, with Bobbi saying her “abandoned garden still had one big yam left” and Marty saying his “pencil still had some lead in it”.
— The Culps’ pre-song banter seems even funnier than usual tonight.
— The Culps’ song medley tonight is okay, though the only part I’m really crazy about is their take on Salt-N-Pepa’s “Push It” (then again, I’m always a sucker for that song).
STARS: ***½
MONOLOGUE
host & her butt choreographer (WIF) have a booty-shaking contest
— Wow, tons of energy from Cameron Diaz right from the start of this monologue.
— Great that SNL is wasting no time IMMEDIATELY getting so much mileage out of Will in his first week back. Then again, the heavy usage of him so far in tonight’s episode ends up being misleading, as we end up barely seeing him for the rest of this episode.
— Is Will wearing the same hilarious wig that he memorably wore in the Music International sketch from this season’s Jack Black episode? (side-by-side comparison below)
— Will is solid as the butt choreographer. Also, this role of his feels like a precursor to a bit that he and Vince Vaughn would later do at the 2003 MTV Movie Awards, in which they both play butt make-up artists (or something like that) on the set of Charlie’s Angels 2: Full Throttle, getting Cameron, Lucy Liu, and Drew Barrymore’s butts prepared for a sexy burlesque scene they’re filming.
— Pretty fun Butt-Off between Cameron and Will.
STARS: ***½
THE 17TH ANNUAL AUTO SHOW SPOKESWOMAN AWARDS
gushy (CHP) savors historic win
— Wow, what’s this? Dean Edwards with a… LEAD ROLE??? Am I seeing things?
— The fake-out with the Aretha who Maya is playing turning out to be Billy Ocean’s wife instead of Aretha Franklin kinda fell flat.
— The goofy photo of Amy demonstrating an airbag is pretty funny.
— Parnell is absolutely hilarious doing a spoof of Halle Berry’s then-recent emotional Oscars acceptance speech. This has always been one of my absolute favorite things Parnell has ever done on SNL.
— Very funny cutaway to stock footage of Halle Berry’s then-husband Eric Benet in the audience when Parnell thanks “my partner Jason”.
— Another funny cutaway, this time to Jeff in a backstage room stopping the award show music by simply turning off a cheap tape recorder while doing a crossword puzzle.
STARS: ***½ (the pre-Parnell portion of the sketch would’ve only gotten a mere **½, but Parnell’s whole bit bumped this sketch up a full star)
MTV SPRING BREAK
(host) & (MAR) dance to “That Don’t Impress Me Much”
— A lot of laughs from Cameron and Maya doing the exact same silly dance moves every time to Shania Twain’s “That Don’t Impress Me Much”. Maya in particular is great here, and I remember this being a very popular performance of hers among online SNL fans back at this time. Unfortunately, Maya would later go on to use those exact same dance moves (particularly the one where she slowly leans back in a staccato manner) in various other sketches over the next few seasons, with very diminishing returns in each passing sketch, which kinda makes it feel a little less special when you look back at the original instance of those dance moves in this MTV Spring Break sketch, but those moves still hold up as very funny and charming here.
— Tracy: “Go Brown!” Amy: “Oh, you go to Brown?” Tracy: “No, I don’t go to school. I work at UPS.”
— Very fun sketch overall, and a rare instance in which repeating the same joke over and over actually works.
STARS: ****
SNL 530
dozy Donald Sutherland (WIF) & Glenn Close (ANG) do an Oscars-like segue
— Seth makes his ONLY appearance of the entire night in a silent, brief role as a prancing, barely-clothed, violin-playing guy from the then-recent Oscars. At least Seth got a laugh just from that goofy visual.
— I love this very out-of-the-ordinary post-sketch bit, spoofing the Oscars. A great way for SNL to go outside the box and do something creative with their format, which is something we don’t see enough of in post-80s SNL.
— Will’s slow, monotone voice as Donald Sutherland is very funny.
— Why are they saying this is the 530th SNL episode? Considering SNL announced in the Julia Stiles episode in March a year prior that it was their 500th episode that night (which it indeed was), I doubt they’d already be at 530 episodes just a year and a month later. [ADDENDUM: Looking at SNL Archives, this is episode #521. So where’d the extra 9 episodes come from to make SNL think this is their 530th episode?]
— A good laugh from Ana’s Glenn Close drinking NyQuil out of a wine glass.
STARS: not sure this short interlude segment warrants a rating, but I’ll give it a ****
ASTRONAUT JONES
voyage to Jupiter yields spacebabes (host), (MAR), (AMP)
— This sketch has officially become recurring, a choice that utterly baffled me at the time (as seen in my original 2002 review for this episode here).
— That theme song and opening credits sequence gets me every single time. No matter how many times I’ll have to see this sketch during this SNL project of mine, that theme song and opening credits sequence will always be a treat to watch.
— Maya and Amy have been in tons of sketches so far tonight.
— Even though they re-use the first Astronaut Jones installment’s punchline of Tracy following up the aliens’ big speech by saying a horny one-liner about their fat asses, it killed me once again tonight, which really says something about how great Tracy’s delivery is.
STARS: ****
CELINE DION ON CBS
after a brief retirement, Celine Dion (ANG) sings & talks of motherhood
— Feels like we haven’t seen Ana’s Celine impression in quite a while. This also ends up being the final appearance of her Celine.
— The various stories from Ana’s Celine have some laughs, but some of this is coming off underwhelming.
— The goofy, quivery voice-over at the end calling CBS “The old people network!” made me laugh.
— This overall sketch was sadly kinda forgettable. Not the best way for Ana’s Celine to go out. Disappointing how Ana’s Celine AND Martha Stewart impressions both went out on a forgettable note this season.
STARS: **½
GORGEOUS LIVING WITH PRUNELLA WATSON
sloppiness equals style
— “Gorgeous Living”? Couldn’t SNL have come up with a different title? I don’t need any reminders of that wretched Pretty Living recurring sketch from the then-recent past.
— I smell an attempt at a new recurring sketch. And like a lot of the attempts the second half of this season has been making at new recurring sketches, we end up NEVER seeing this sketch return.
— A laugh from Amy casually revealing “I just got punched in the face last night.”
— Amy’s English accent and delivery is very solid.
— Pretty funny how every guest who arrives immediately apologizes to Amy’s character for punching her in the face last night.
— After the first two minutes, I’ve pretty much lost interest in this sketch. A lot of this is washing right over me. This seems like the type of sketch that would appeal more to people who were familiar with Style Network’s programs during this era.
STARS: **
WEEKEND UPDATE
TIF gives her take on terrorism & the Middle East situation
Denzel Washington (DEE) & Halle Berry (MAR) are still on an Oscar high
following a breakdown, robot TIF is replaced with another unit
self-aggrandizing Geraldo Rivera (DAH) says he’ll end war in Middle East
Jasper Hahn & (host) sing double entendre songs about Fuzzy Buddy puppets
— During Tina’s opening rant, I love her comment about how Palestinians would do VERY well on Fear Factor.
— An overall very lengthy opening rant from Tina, and a pretty good one, though not up to the quality of her best rants. Come to think of it, it’s been a good while since she last had a rant that was up to the same standard of her best rants.
— Wow, TWO lead roles for Dean tonight? It’s official: I must be watching an episode from an alternate universe.
— Great Denzel Washington voice from Dean. Thanks to SNL’s constant underutilization of him, it’s easy to forget that Dean has a knack for doing solid impressions.
— Another funny parody of Halle Berry’s Oscars speech, this time from Maya as Halle tearfully thanking an endless number of random famous black women, some of whom are fictional.
— Pretty funny addition to the Denzel/Halle commentary, with Amy spoofing Julia Roberts’ ego and physically big mouth.
— A funny twist on Jimmy and Tina’s “Oh, snap! / Oh, no you di-in’t!” bit from earlier this season, with Tina having a robotic breakdown in the middle of it, and then being replaced with a new Robot Tina. I like the detail of the new Robot Tina entering with a plastic bag over her head.
— A lot of very strong jokes from Tina throughout tonight’s Update.
— Darrell’s Geraldo Rivera commentary is going in the same direction as his last one from earlier this season, but this still has some laughs. However, if they do a third Geraldo commentary in the same vein, I’ll have officially gotten sick of these.
— This ends up being the final Jasper Hahn appearance.
— Ah, a nice change of pace in tonight’s Jasper Hahn commentary, with him doing away with his usual dirty drawings routine and replacing it with songs and animal puppets.
— An overall pretty funny Jasper Hahn commentary, ignoring Horatio’s usual obnoxious attempts to crack Jimmy and himself up.
— Very, very long Update overall. Possibly one of the longest ever.
STARS: ***½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “The Middle”
MISS PEEPS
(WIF) notes gender differences between Mr. Peepers & Miss Peeps (host)
— Mr. Peepers makes his first appearance in over a year, and this ends up being his final appearance. This character feels really out of place by this point of SNL’s run.
— This is Kattan’s first and ONLY appearance all night, and it’s as a character who peaked in popularity years prior. (*sigh*) As if we needed even more evidence that it’s BEYOND time for Kattan to finally get the heck off of this show. It’s getting just sad seeing him still on the show trotting out the same old played-out shtick that feels out of place this season. And even Kattan’s ONE attempt at something new lately (that Hollywood character on Weekend Update) ended up being honestly one of the worst things I’ve EVER seen SNL air.
— This may be the shortest I’ve ever seen Will’s real hair. It also almost looks like it’s graying on the sides, even at Will’s then-young age, though I think that “graying” in his hair is actually just his skin. The sides of his hair are cut in a weird way.
— I do like the change of pace by having a female host play a Mr. Peepers-like character, which is something that I remember always wanting to see SNL try back in Mr. Peepers’ heyday. Cameron’s doing a spot-on Peepers imitation here, which I never would’ve expected from her.
— Oof. Despite the initially fun turn with Cameron entering as a female Mr. Peepers, this sketch is not going well at all. There are almost NO actual laughs to be had here, and the Mr. Peepers shtick feels SO tired in this sketch. Cameron’s not breathing much life into this, either. This is a poor last gasp of a dying recurring sketch.
STARS: *½
MTV 4
shy Japanese girl group Crash Papaya performs boisterously on MTV4
— Our second MTV sketch of the night. I remember this annoyed quite a number of online SNL fans at the time, who then accused the show of trying too hard to pander to teen viewers. I was 17 years old myself at the time this episode originally aired, and even *I* thought two MTV sketches in one night was a bit much. Then again, I was also the type of 17-year-old who knew that MTV was mind-numbing garbage even at that young age of mine.
— Tonight’s episode has been very female-dominated among the cast, particularly Maya and Amy, who are both having a huge night.
— The absolutely bizarre, nonsensical lyrics being scarily shout-sung by the shy and innocent Japanese girl band was funny at first, but has kinda lost its novelty after the first song.
STARS: **½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Sweetness”
MY BIG THICK NOVEL BY JACK HANDEY
glistening breasts in chapter 750
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very uneven episode. The first 35 minutes of this episode was absolutely fine and had a good number of strong sketches, but after the Astronaut Jones sketch ended, it was nothing but underwhelming sketches for the rest of the night, minus an enjoyable (if extremely long) Weekend Update. This all averages out to a thumbs-in-the-middle episode.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Ian McKellen)
a step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
The Rock