Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
BLAKE MURDER MYSTERY
Fox News Channel anchors are thrilled at prospect of Robert Blake trial
— A funny clip of O.J.-like footage of a white car driving on a freeway, which we’re told is footage of Robert Blake being taken to a police processing center. I also like Will’s delivery of “White car on the L.A. freeway, ya’ll!” (a line that I had always misrembered as being delivered by Parnell).
— I like Parnell’s laid-back performance as a celebrity scandal expert.
— Some pretty good laughs from the Fox News anchors’ excitement over this Robert Blake mess potentially being an O.J.-like scandal.
— Blah, I’m sick of Darrell’s overlong Geraldo Rivera bits this season. I’m apparently in the minority in that regard, as the audience always eats these Geraldo bits up.
— At least SNL’s showing some continuity, with Darrell’s Geraldo making a passing mention of his “Tour of Terror”, a reference to something established in the last Weekend Update commentary that Darrell’s Geraldo did.
— I love the Robert Blake-related soundbyte of gunshot sounds followed by audio of a man saying in a jokingly menacing voice “You little rascal!”
— I hope nobody lets Brian Fellow anywhere near THAT talking bird. I’m sure the only readers who will get that comment of mine are ones who are familiar with the Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet sketch from the last episode that I reviewed.
— An interesting unconventional “Live from New York…”, with it being delivered by a bird (voiced by Steve Higgins). And at least it’s a break from all the endless Ferrell/Hammond LFNYs we’ve been getting lately.
STARS: ***½
MONOLOGUE
Al Gore (DAH) gives host tips on how to get over presidential election
— I probably said this before, but I like how it’s a tradition at the beginning of Alec’s monologues for him to give the SNL Band their due by physically pointing them out.
— Darrell showing up as Al Gore to give Alec advice? I guess this is their way of following up Alec’s last monologue, in which Darrell gave him advice as Bill Clinton.
— Darrell’s Gore calling Alec out on his empty threat to move out of the country if George W. Bush got elected president is fairly funny.
— Could’ve done without this turning into a duet of “Accentuate the Positive”. What’s the point of that?
— An overall somewhat forgettable monologue that fizzled out at the end. Not one of Alec’s better monologues.
STARS: **½
KOTEX CLASSIC
Rerun from 3/16/02
GAY VOICEMAIL
(host) is perplexed that he sounds gay on his voicemail greeting
— I admit to getting a laugh from the first lispy-sounding voicemail, though I’m aware of the direction this sketch is going.
— A good laugh from Ana IMMEDIATELY confirming to Alec “No, that’s how you sound” before casually walking off, after hearing the gay-sounding playback of his voicemail.
— Alec now doing a cartoonishly deep, macho voice into the voicemail in an attempt make it avoid sound gay in the playback is pretty funny.
— Okay, after a while, I’m getting fairly tired of the joke of the increasingly gay-sounding voicemails, though the inclusion of Kylie Minogue music in the background of one gay-sounding voicemail was an amusing choice.
— Overall, I’ve seen some people say this is one of the better of SNL writer James Anderson’s endless myriad of gay stereotype sketches. I only half-agree, as I enjoyed this sketch at first, but then it kinda lost its luster for me halfway through. Still not terrible, though, especially compared to a lot of James Anderson’s gay-related material.
STARS: **½
WHITE MEN BLACK WOMEN
successful white men are dumping their wives for elderly black women
— Yet another drag role for Tracy, but he’s certainly very funny in this as Alec’s new elderly black girlfriend.
— A very inspired and funny premise, how this is treating the unusual concept of successful white men leaving their wives for elderly black women as a very commonplace cliche.
— The back-and-forth between Jimmy and Amy is solid.
— Dean is hilarious as Darrell’s Caribbean-accented elderly black girlfriend. I especially like his delivery of the line “I smack the white right off her!” Stuff like this makes me wonder why the hell SNL often treats Dean like a glorified extra and doesn’t use him more often.
— A particularly funny line from Tracy’s character about having to watch her sugar or she’ll lose her foot.
— I love Rachel’s angry rant.
STARS: ****½
OZZY
domesticated Ozzy Osbourne (HOS) is only intelligible while singing
— After we got a sample of Horatio’s imitation of Ozzy Osborne’s singing in the Just Enjoy The Ozzy sketch from season 24, we get the debut of Horatio actually playing Ozzy himself… in a regular SNL episode, that is. The actual debut of Horatio playing Ozzy himself was in a Celebrity Jeopardy sketch from one of the two “Primetime Extra” specials that SNL did in 2001.
— We also get the debut of Amy’s Sharon Osborne impression, which I’ve always found spot-on.
— Horatio’s mumbling as Ozzy is pretty funny, and, much like the aforementioned Just Enjoy The Ozzy sketch, Horatio continues to do a solid impression of Ozzy’s coherent singing voice.
— Very funny part with Alec requesting to an incoherently-speaking Ozzy, “Would you mind singing your lunch order?”, which Ozzy then proceeds to do perfectly. I especially love the “Diet Coke, HA HA HA HA! With ice, ice, ice!” bit.
— Damn, that was a good, long tender song from Horatio just now. He’s really been impressing me throughout this sketch.
— Amy’s silly facial expression while her Sharon Osborne is doing a doggy voice made her look remarkably like Rachel, oddly enough. (screencap below)
I remember always thinking back in these days that Amy and Rachel look like they could be real-life sisters, though I no longer see the resemblance all that often now that I’m older.
— During the long, bleeped-out argument between Sharon, Kelly, and Jack Osborne (the latter two played by Rachel and Parnell, respectively), audio of Amy, Rachel, and Parnell’s actual yelling can be heard under the bleeping. Most of that yelling is unintelligible to my ears, but at the very end of that yelling, I clearly heard Amy saying “MOTHERFUCKER!” twice. I’m guessing there was an audio glitch and we weren’t supposed to hear what Amy, Rachel, and Parnell were really yelling under the bleeping, and Amy apparently wasn’t aware that her yells of “MOTHERFUCKER!” were going out on the air. Does this technically put Amy in the prestigious “SNL cast member dropping an f-bomb on live TV” club?
— After Sharon, Kelly, and Jack walk off after the aforementioned bleeped-out shoutfest between them, I love the camera panning over to Horatio’s Ozzy silently staring at the camera with a deadpan look on his face.
STARS: ****
THE CARDINALS
Pope John Paul II (host) summons The Cardinals for a chastening
— A pretty fun badass intro sequence with various crime-fighting cardinals. I especially love the shot of Parnell casually speaking on the phone while loading his rifle.
— A great ending one-liner from Alec’s Pope, towards The Cardinals: “I got-a one thing to say to you guys: keep-a you peckers in your pants!” A good reference to the Catholic church sex abuse scandal in the news at the time.
— The way this sketch unexpectedly ends with Alec’s aforementioned one-liner, after being preceded by such a long and elaborate opening title sequence, kinda reminds me of the then-current Astronaut Jones recurring sketches. It also reminds me of other sketches SNL has done over the years that comically end with a very quick scene after a lengthy opening title sequence, including a “U.N. Weapons Inspectors” sketch that Jimmy does with Robert DeNiro the following season.
STARS: ***½
WEEKEND UPDATE
emotional Ally McBeal (RAD) sounds off about her show’s cancellation
Spider-Man star Tobey Maguire (SEM) is a nigh-comatose action movie hero
having taken her daughter (AMP) to work, TIF deals with insolent behavior
— Good to see Rachel’s Ally McBeal suddenly pop up, after the announcement of the cancellation of her TV show.
— A good heated rant from Rachel’s McBeal. (Which makes this Rachel’s second long, angry rant in tonight’s episode, by the way. She’s on fire tonight.)
— Seth is doing a pretty funny caricature of Tobey Maguire’s bland, lethargic demeanor, though future SNL cast member Taran Killam did a far more spot-on Tobey Maguire impression on MADtv during this same season.
— Interesting bit with Tina doing a segment with her (fictional) teenage daughter, Savannah Dakota Fey, played by Amy. Funnily enough, I think this fictional daughter of Tina’s is around the same age that Tina’s real-life first child, Alice, is today.
— I got a pretty good laugh from Tina suddenly and randomly asking her daughter “Do you take ecstasy?!?” right in the middle of their exchange just now.
— Something about this overall Update felt unusually short to me, even though it had three guest commentaries.
STARS: ***½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Youth Of The Nation”
BIRTHDAY LOVERS
Roger’s college roommate (host) attends surprise party thrown by Virginia
— Interesting beginning to this Luvahs sketch, with Virginia planning a surprise party for an about-to-arrive-home Roger. I believe this is the first (and perhaps ONLY?) time we’ve ever seen Roger and Virginia appear separated from each other.
— Akira Yoshimura! (the third above screencap for this sketch) Sightings of him have become so rare by this point of SNL’s run.
— Good character from Alec.
— Interesting how the non-Luvahs couples in this sketch are played by cast members who are often paired together as couples and always have fantastic chemistry with each other: Parnell & Ana, and Seth & Amy.
— During The Luvahs’ story about once making love on a cliff, Alec’s own anecdote about how he fell off the cliff while “playing with his balls” (as he puts it) as he watched The Luvahs’ lovemaking is absolutely hilarious. I particularly love him touting the “free-fall release” that he experienced during his mid-masturbation cliff fall as the greatest achievement of his life. This whole bit alone makes this one of the better Luvahs sketches.
— For some reason, Will starts breaking while he’s chewing on food.
— Aaaaaand there’s our unnecessary “Ow, my back” ending that these Luvahs sketches traditionally end with.
STARS: ***½
FRANCE
for anti-Semitism & snootiness, it’s time we got back to hating France
— A pretty funny France tourism ad pointing out all the unpleasant things about the country.
— The voice-over’s closing line: “With all that’s going on in the world, isn’t it about time we got back to hating the French?” Funnily enough, that actually would end up happening just a year later. Remember America’s soured relationship with France in 2003 (something to do with France opposing the War in Iraq), to the degree that congress would legally change the name of French fries to freedom fries?
STARS: ***½
THE TONY BENNETT SHOW
Liza Minnelli (MAR) & David Gest (CHK)
— This recurring sketch makes its debut.
— Alec is doing a great Tony Bennett here.
— Kattan makes his first and ONLY appearance of the entire episode. With this being the second time in these last three episodes I’ve covered that Kattan made only one appearance all night, in a sketch buried towards the end of the show to boot, you’d think Kattan would take this as a hint that his time on SNL is clearly beyond up and he would leave SNL at the end of this season, but nope. No matter how many clues he’s been given, the man STILL ends up returning next season. (*groan*)
— All that being said about Kattan, his facial expression as David Gest in this sketch is certainly amusing me.
— When addressing the gay rumors about David Gest (and I’ll just ignore the frustrating fact that this is YET ANOTHER sketch this season in which Kattan is either playing a gay guy or a guy accused of being gay), I admit to getting a lot of big laughs from Tony Bennett’s various euphemisms for Gest’s desire to have a partner with a penis. I particularly like Bennett asking Gest “Why would you build your house in a cherry orchard when you dig bananas?”
— A hilarious story from Tony Bennett about once making love to a woman’s foot for 7 hours before a nurse came in and said “Mr. Bennett… she’s gone.”
STARS: ****
TV FUNHOUSE
“The Anatominals Show” by RBS- LOM is embarrassed during senatorial visit
— The second and final Anatominals TV Funhouse.
— Not caring too much for the Anatominals portion of this, as a lot of it feels like its treading the same territory from the first Anatominals installment.
— Even the Lorne portion of this isn’t anywhere near as funny as the one from the first Anatominals installment.
— Okay, I do like Lorne and Senator Moynihan both saying “Bear got boobies!” when seeing the Anatominals on the TV monitor.
— Overall, a laugh here and there, but yeah, they clearly should’ve kept Anatominals a one-off.
STARS: **
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Alive”
MY BIG THICK NOVEL BY JACK HANDEY
a clown with a knife in chapter 1345
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Yet another reliable Alec Baldwin episode. While this doesn’t seem to be one of the more remembered Baldwin episodes among SNL fans (though that may be due to the lack of airtime this episode has received. Hasn’t it been said that this episode has NEVER been re-aired on TV, for some very odd, unknown reason? I know NBC has never re-aired it, but what about cable channels like E! or VH1?), this had a solid quality to it, and a few great standout sketches.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (The Rock)
a mild step up
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Kirsten Dunst