November 16, 2002 – Brittany Murphy / Nelly (S28 E6)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE CHANUKAH SONG
ADS & The Drei-Dels [real] perform “The Chanukah Song, Part 3”; ROS cameo

— Yes! The return of Adam Sandler and the Chanukah Song! I still remember the pure excitement I felt watching this cold opening when it originally aired.
— Great lyric about how “Tom Arnold converted, but you can have him back”.
— Hell yeah, now Rob Schneider joins in! I love how his and Adam’s mere appearance is giving this cold opening such a nostalgic vibe, making me feel like I’m reviewing the early 90s era again.
— After revealing he’s a Filipino Jew, Rob leaves to go home and “light the first pig”. The dress rehearsal version of this cold opening that’s shown in reruns doesn’t feature that exit from Rob. He instead stands with the choir and sings with them for the rest of this cold opening. I think I recall him also putting on a long blond wig when joining the choir, but I may be mistaken.
— This song is so much fun, and I like how the usual melody of Adam’s Chanukah Song is being given a more epic sound tonight, especially with the use of a choir.
— A fantastic “Live from New York…” delivery from Adam. This has always been one of my personal favorite LFNY deliveries of all time. Adam’s LFNY delivery in the aforementioned dress rehearsal version of this cold opening shown in reruns isn’t quite as good.
— Overall, what an incredible way to start off tonight’s episode.
— In this episode’s dress rehearsal, Adam made a second appearance later in the night, reprising Cajun Man on Weekend Update. It got cut from the live show.
STARS: ****½

MONOLOGUE
east coast & west coast castmembers settle comedic feud with a rap-off

— I love how this is setting up an East Coast/West Coast comedy war between the SNL cast. The whole initial confrontation between Parnell and Tracy is hilarious.
— Great addition of East Coast and West Coast cast members backing Tracy and Parnell, respectively. I also like how all the cast members on the West Coast side are Groundlings alums (Parnell, Kattan, Will, and Maya).
— Fuck yeah! A Chris Parnell rap! Always an epic treat.
— So many fantastic and hilarious lyrics in Parnell’s rap, especially “Lorne likes me so much, he hired me twice”, him name-dropping recent SNL hosts he’s slept with, and him dissing Tracy by telling him “You play Brian Fellow. Bitch, I’m PRESIDENT BUSH!”
— Ah, now Amy is about to showcase great rapping skills of her own, for the first time in her SNL tenure.
— Damn, and I thought Parnell’s lyrics were amazing. Amy’s lyrics are fucking KILLER, especially her great Corky Romano diss to Kattan, her Laraine Newman reference, and the “Say my name, Don Pardo” part. All of the inside/meta SNL jokes in both Parnell and Amy’s respective rap are perfect for SNL nerds like me.
— Aaaaaand Brittany Murphy now proceeds to kill all the great momentum, by stepping to the front of the stage and doing a “rap” of her own, complete with the less-than-pleasant visual of her flailing around her scarily skinny bare arms. Ehh, I’m probably being too harsh on Brittany’s rap, but still, it’s needless to say that her rap does not hold a candle to Parnell’s or Amy’s, and ends this monologue on kind of an anticlimactic note. I guess SNL had to give Brittany a rap of her own here, though, considering this is her monologue (though you sure wouldn’t know it, from how extremely heavily it’s focused on Parnell, Tracy, and Amy).
— Overall, such an epic, almost-perfect monologue. Between the Chanukah Song cold opening and this, tonight’s episode has been on FIRE. This has got to be one of the most exciting one-two punches an SNL episode has ever opened with in regards to cold openings and monologues.
STARS: ****½

WELCOME BACK, POTTER
grown-up Harry Potter (WLF) teaches Sweathogs at Hogwarts

— Hilarious twist with this Harry Potter piece unexpectedly turning into a random Harry Potter/Welcome Back, Kotter hybrid. The Kotter-esque opening credits are very funny.
— I like how the only cast members in this are all five of this season’s featured players (Fred, Dean, Will, Seth, and Jeff).
— Ending voice-over: “Due to legal action, Welcome Back, Potter may be called Honky In The Hood.”
— Back when this originally aired, I remember being disappointed that this Welcome Back, Potter bit ended after the opening credits, as I was anticipating those opening credits leading into a full-fledged Welcome Back, Potter sketch. In retrospect, I now realize that disappointment of mine was foolish, because a full Welcome Back, Potter sketch probably would’ve belabored the point, and the premise probably doesn’t have enough legs to sustain a full sketch. SNL made the right decision keeping this down to just an opening credits sequence.
STARS: ****

THE LEATHER MAN
The Leather Man sells pants to (host) as Choo-Choo (HOS) chases a snake

— Hoo, boy. THIS is our lead-off sketch tonight? Way to piss all over the great mood this episode had put me in before this point.
— Odd how the two episodes this sketch has appeared in were hosted by someone named Britney/Brittany.
— What the hell is with all the awkward long pauses between lines?
— And thus begins the obligatory gigglefest from Fallon & Sanz.
— Brittany’s acting in this is… rather odd, which is probably putting it kindly.
— I remember how much online SNL fans at this time kept raving about how supposedly hilarious the portion of this sketch with a screaming Horatio running around and destroying the set while having a snake biting his crotch was. Meh. To me, it’s half-funny and half-annoying. I’d probably find it much funnier if Horatio wasn’t so damn amused by himself during it, laughing at his own antics just as much as the audience and Jimmy is.
— Blah, the punchline at the end, with Jimmy calling 911 to report Horatio’s crotch snake bite and then responding to 911, “I have to put my mouth where?”, then telling Horatio, “Looks like you’re gonna die”, is one of the oldest jokes in the book. I remember how some of my fellow SNL reviewers back in 2002 gave credit to SNL for that “killer” punchline, apparently not being aware that SNL just took that punchline from an ancient, well-known joke.
— I still shudder at the fact that the great Tom Davis is the writer responsible for these Leather Man sketches. Come on, Tom, you’re much better than this. I can’t picture this being a sketch he would’ve had Aykroyd and Belushi doing back in the day.
STARS: **

DONAHUE
nonexistent viewership points to the death of liberalism

— This is the first time we’ve seen Darrell’s Phil Donahue impression in ages. Good to see it again, this time making fun of Donahue’s doomed MSNBC show.
— I like the Phil Donahue/Michael Moore conversation, with Jeff’s Michael Moore being asked details about his bathing and clothing habits. I’m especially laughing at Moore’s description of a “Mexican Shower”.
— Funny graphic of the lowest-rated shows in prime-time.
— I’m already laughing at the initial visual of Tracy as Al Sharpton.
— A good laugh from the entire commercial break only consisting of an MSNBC “Advertise your product here” graphic.
— The soft focus screen effect used on Maya’s Barbra Streisand is funny.
— The pre-taped scene with Darrell’s Donahue taking questions from a mostly-empty studio audience appears to have been taped in Conan O’Brien’s then-current Late Night studio (the last above screencap for this sketch). Also, the joke of Donahue taking questions from a mostly-empty studio audience was originally used in a brief piece from season 15, with Dana Carvey playing a German version of Donahue, named Donheiser.
— This sketch is starting to kinda run out of steam. The constant “People don’t like you” lines are too redundant, even if that’s the point.
STARS: ***

JARRET’S ROOM
fellow student (host) is wired on stimulants

— Jesus Christ, a SECOND Fallon/Sanz sketch tonight, and merely 10 minutes after we just had a Fallon/Sanz sketch? Speaking of which, why does Jarret’s Room always have to appear in the same episode that a Leather Man sketch appears in?
— The 80s bit with Seth’s DJ Jonathan Feinstein character is pretty funny.
— I guess Horatio hasn’t finished getting all of his giggles out from the Leather Man sketch earlier tonight, as his Gobi character is even more giggly tonight than he usually is. At least Horatio’s giggliness blends in well with his Gobi character, unlike his character in the Leather Man sketches.
— In light of the way that Brittany Murphy would tragically die in real life, it feels kinda disturbing now to look back on her playing such a “wired” character in this sketch, especially the part where her heart flat-out stops for a few seconds.
— Overall, a subpar Jarret’s Room installment, and one that aged poorly, due to the stuff with Brittany (though I don’t remember finding her appearance in this sketch funny even when this sketch originally aired).
STARS: **

PRESS CONFERENCE
Princess Di’s former butler Paul Burrell (SEM) denies he’s a homosexual

— This sketch appears to be live, but it was taped at dress rehearsal. One of the dead giveaways is that this is airing immediately after the preceding Jarret’s Room sketch, with no commercial break in between. It’s obviously not humanly possible for Seth to have changed from his DJ Jonathan Feinstein costume to his Paul Burrell costume in just 15 seconds.
— I sense a whole bunch of bad, hacky, stereotypical gay jokes coming up.
— Something about Steve Higgins’ whispery, professional voice-over is making me laugh, despite his weak dialogue making fun of Paul Burrell’s gayness.
— I like the “stuffy British person” facial expression that Rachel has throughout the entire sketch.
— Yep, this sketch is just going through a whole bunch of stereotypical gay cliches. Yawn. I do admit, though, to chuckling in spite of myself at the professional caption on the bottom of the screen that stated Seth’s Paul Burrell “received bad news from a drag queen”.
STARS: **

TENNIS TALK WITH TIME TRAVELING SCOTT JOPLIN
Scott Joplin (MAR) offers racquets & ragtime

— What an absolutely insane, oddball, and creative premise. I love it.
— Dean gets his first comedic role in ages, and of course, it’s just a drag role. Then again, Tracy and Maya are in drag too. Brittany’s the only performer in this sketch who’s playing a role that’s their own gender.
— I love the running bit with Maya’s Scott Joplin smugly playing a brief ragtime tune on the piano each time after he delivers a zinger to Brittany’s Anna Kournikova.
— Maya’s delivery and dialogue are fantastic here.
— Scott Joplin, after Anna Kournikova has angrily used the word ‘antiquated’: “Antiquated? That’s a big word, Russian Barbie.”
— Great sketch overall. As strong as this was, the second installment of this sketch that would appear the following season is even better, in my opinion.
STARS: ****½

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Kelly Rowland [real] perform “Dilemma”

WEEKEND UPDATE
Drunk Girl fails to address link between memory & alcohol consumption

David Gest (CHK) & Liza Minnelli (MAR) explain reality show cancellation

— Tina, when realizing she has to introduce Drunk Girl: “Oh, no. Really? Okay.” That kinda matches my attitude towards the about-to-appear Drunk Girl, as so many of Drunk Girl’s Update appearances are the exact same as each other.
— Yep, so far, the same old Drunk Girl shtick. Not a single new thing to be found here. They might as well just play a video of one of her previous Update appearances. I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
— A funny and accurate prediction from Tina on how Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s marriage will be the last marriage for neither.
— Haha, boy, Jimmy’s Richard Gere gerbil joke got a HUGE audience reaction.
— Another Phil Collins bit between Jimmy and Tina, in the same vein of the one they did a few episodes prior. I still feel like I’m not quite in on the joke, but I laugh anyway at the sheer oddness of these bits.
— Maya and Kattan’s Liza Minnelli and David Gest impressions have returned. All I can say is, they’ll never top the solid Tony Bennett Show sketch they first appeared in.
— Yeah, this Minnelli/Gest commentary isn’t really working for me. That makes two subpar guest commentaries tonight.
STARS: ***

ASTRONAUT JONES
Astronaut Jones, (GAM), (musical guest) meet Queen Of The Zorgons (host)

— And I thought the Sandler/Schneider cameos earlier tonight were a treat. Now we get a very random, shocking, and awesome return of Garrett Fucking Morris! Amazing. I think this is the first time I’m reviewing Garrett since I last covered season 5, his final season on the show. I don’t think he’s ever made a cameo in a regular episode before now (not counting SNL’s anniversary specials or anything like that).
— A modification to the usual Astronaut Jones theme song has been made, as we now have a new addition of female backup vocals. Not sure what the point of that new addition is.
— The usual “Astronaut Jones makes dirty brief statements throughout the female alien’s long speech” gag is made even funnier tonight by Garrett and Nelly joining in on the dirty statements.
— Tracy kills as always when delivering his big punchline after the alien has finished her speech. His punchline tonight is possibly his dirtiest one yet in these Astronaut Jones sketches.
STARS: ****½

TV FUNHOUSE
“Religetables” by RBS- anthropomorphic plants show religion’s nasty side

— This is such a spot-on and funny Veggie Tales parody, with Robert Smigel using his cutting humor to skewer the way Veggie Tales presents religious events.
— So many funny little details, such as a potato baby being “circumcised” by having the potato skin around its crotch area be sliced off with a food knife, and an ear of corn falling into “hell”, which is just a cooking grill.
— A particularly funny part with a pickle priest holding a conference in which he admits to sexually abusing gherkins.
STARS: ****½

MY BIG THICK NOVEL BY JACK HANDEY
a square dancing mishap in chapter 589

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Hot In Herre”

SHE’S THE GIRL WITH NO GAYDAR!!!
Nicole, The Girl With No Gaydar meets lesbian counterpart (host) at party

— (*groan*) A third installment of this should’ve-stayed-one-and-done sketch? At least this thankfully this ends up being the final installment.
— I see that Maya has replaced Ana Gasteyer as the best friend of Rachel’s character.
— Blah, so far, tonight’s installment is the same old tired routine these Girl With No Gaydar sketches always do.
— Okay, I actually like the different direction this is now going, with Rachel’s character getting hit on by a lesbian.
— Ehh, the lesbian bit ended up not saving this sketch like I thought it would.
— Much like Maya replacing Ana’s role in these Gaydar sketches, I see Darrell has replaced Will Ferrell’s recurring role as the guy the camera cuts to at the end of these Gaydar sketches when Rachel asks “If these guys are gay, then what’s my (insert person she knows here) doing here?” Darrell seems out of place in this role. He’s no Ferrell when it comes to having the ability to steal sketches in a brief cutaway shot.
STARS: **

GOODNIGHTS

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IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— This episode had a very impressive number of absolutely fantastic things that are sure to make it into my end-of-season “Best Of” picks. However, this episode also had quite a number of misfires, which will surely drag down the rating average. However, the absolutely fantastic things in this episode were definitely strong enough to make up for the misfires.

MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Nia Vardalos)
a step up

My full set of screencaps for this episode is here

TOMORROW
Robert DeNiro makes his then-highly anticipated hosting debut, and proceeds to let the entire SNL fandom down HARD