Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
George W. Bush (CHP) doesn’t care if Iraq has weapons of mass destruction
— What the hell was with the random, delayed, very muted brief audience applause that started shortly after Parnell’s President Bush started his speech?
— A few mildly funny lines, but otherwise, this cold opening is a complete snoozefest. As a variation of something I said in an earlier review, it’s one thing to use understated, low-key humor, but it’s another thing to use humor so subtle and straight that you can’t find the joke. This cold opening is another early preview of how soft, meandering, and weak Jim Downey-written political cold openings will often be during Downey’s later years as an SNL writer.
— Parnell’s Bush impression has now reached the point where it’s become just a very bland, straightforward imitation, with Parnell not throwing in any comical quirks or anything to make the impression funny in itself (which it sure could’ve used in this particular cold opening, because lord knows the material itself ain’t funny).
STARS: *½
MONOLOGUE
host sings “My Funny Valentine” to the male castmembers wooing her
— I like how the entire male cast is appearing in this.
— Darrell as himself is coming off so awkward in this. By the way, this ends up being his ONLY appearance all night. The fact that, not only is this the second consecutive episode in which Darrell does practically nothing (his awful Colin Powell impression in the preceding episode was the only thing he did that night, and even there, he only had one line), but also that SNL couldn’t find ANY impressions or noteworthy roles for him tonight just shows how much his relevancy on SNL is slowly beginning to wane.
— Tracy in that cupid outfit is a hilarious visual.
— Some okay insults from Jennifer Garner to individual male cast members during her singing of “My Funny Valentine”.
— Tracy to Jennifer: “You make me feel like the Lion King!”
— Darrell looks kinda miserable while standing in the background of this monologue. That’s another sad thing about him that slowly starts around this time: a very dour undertone to a lot of his performances, and him rarely looking like he’s enjoying himself anymore.
STARS: ***
CLAPPIN’!
musical generates applause via nonstop on-stage hand slapping
— Another piece tonight that’s utilizing most of the cast.
— Hilarious premise for a Stomp parody, and this is being executed so well.
— Some very funny close-ups of some of the individual cast members, such as the one of Will clapping with a very intense look on his face, and the one of Fred’s dumb smile while demonstrating the clapping style of Japan.
— Horatio is hilarious during his testimonial.
— Odd how this ended with the studio audience not “clappin’” (pardon the lame pun). This commercial went into the next sketch with no audience applause at all. I wonder why that’s occasionally been happening this season (especially in the Sarah Michelle Gellar episode, an episode notorious for a brutally unresponsive audience). Is the audience choosing not to applaud during these instances, or is SNL just doing some kind of occasional experiment this season by choosing to not light the applause sign after certain sketches/commercials?
STARS: ****
LIGHTS OUT
(JIF)’s bar pick-up (host) morphs into homely (FRA) when the lights go up
— Very funny turn with Jimmy’s good-looking date turning very unattractive when the lights turn on. I love Jimmy’s yell of “GAH!” when seeing his now-unattractive date.
— The back-and-forth switching between Jennifer and Fred is being executed well.
— Just now, when expressing shock at seeing his date turn ugly again, Jimmy exclaims “God!” and “Damn!”, one after another, then kinda looks off-camera with what appears to be a genuinely awkward, worried look on his face, presumably because he knows saying “goddamn” on non-cable TV was taboo back in these days.
— Jimmy’s various attempts to get his date to look pretty again are all very funny, especially him taking a swig from a whole bunch of different drinks in rapid succession.
STARS: ****
WAKE UP WAKEFIELD!
at Valentine’s Day dance, (host) has crush on Sheldon
— Much like the installment of this sketch that took place at a slumber party, it’s nice to see Wake Up Wakefield using another new setting.
— We get the beginning of Maya’s Megan re-directing her usual love for Randy Goldman towards male celebrities, which goes on to be a regular part of these sketches from now on. Good to see they’re attempting some kind of development with the Megan character.
— Horatio’s teacher character imitating the backwards-speaking part of Missy Elliott’s “Work It” is quite funny.
— A pretty amusing and sweet turn with Jennifer’s character revealing her crush on Rachel’s Sheldon.
— Great part with Sheldon making an uncharacteristic bold move by kissing Jennifer’s character on the lips before exiting the dance.
STARS: ***½
SADDAM & OSAMA
Saddam Hussein (HOS) phones Osama bin Laden (JIF) to ask for some slack
— Jimmy as Osama Bin Laden seems like questionable casting at first, but I’m aware of where they’re going with this casting.
— I love Fred’s delivery of “Awkwaaaaarrrrrrrd!” and how it’s comically incongruous with the role he’s playing here.
— This sketch is much better than I had remembered. In past viewings, I, like probably like a lot of people, dismissed this as typical unfunny Fallon/Sanz self-indulgent jackassery, but right now, as I’m currently watching this sketch with much more of an open mind, I’m actually enjoying this and I find it has a goofy charm and amusing dialogue, and it’s made even funnier by the fact that these are evil dictators that Jimmy and Horatio are portraying in this silly way together. This sketch is a rare example of SNL actually utilizing the self-indulgent jackassery of the Fallon/Sanz duo the RIGHT way.
— I love Osama always following up Saddam’s remark of “Listen” with “I will listen, it’s a phone!”
— Even the occasional parts of this sketch where Jimmy and Horatio accidentally talk over each other has that aforementioned goofy charm that I like.
STARS: ***½
INVITATION TO LOVE
soap opera actress (host) attempts passionate scene with effeminate (CHK)
— Oh, god. Kattan playing his bazillionth tired, over-the-top gay stereotype role. Kattan has been slowly making some much-needed improvements in the second half of this season, but he’s relapsing BIG TIME in this sketch.
— Ugh, just as I feared early on, this sketch has been turning out to be nothing but a parade of bad, predictable, and hacky gay stereotype tropes.
— Horrible ending with Kattan’s voice being comically re-dubbed with a deep voice, reminiscent of that awful ending from the otherwise-great Fun Friend Club sketch from earlier this season.
STARS: *
TWINS
(CHK) is disappointed to be paired with (host)’s ugly Siamese twin (RAD)
— A funny variation of Rachel’s deformed baby character, who has become a reliable running gag on SNL.
— A huge laugh from Kattan’s unsuccessful attempt at trying to sit on the end of the couch that’s farthest away from the ugly Siamese twin.
— Great line from Kattan regarding the Siamese twins: “It looks like one of them had more time to cook than the other.”
— After relapsing badly in the preceding sketch, Kattan IMMEDIATELY redeems himself with this sketch. He’s giving a very solid performance here.
— A killer ending line from Rachel, directed to Jimmy while he’s making out with Jennifer’s character: “You can make out with her six ways till Sunday, but I’m the one with the vagina.”
STARS: ****½
WEEKEND UPDATE
rhyming Burt Bacharach (JER) doesn’t back an attack on Iraq
TRM’s advocacy of an all-out race war is preempted by NBC
CHP performs a rap about how he & host couple up for espionage & sex
— Jimmy’s opening joke kinda bombed.
— Ugh, more hacky gay humor tonight, with Tina’s horrible France/Germany joke.
— Boy, a lot of jokes in tonight’s Update are falling fairly flat with the audience (and me).
— When this episode originally aired, I remember an online SNL fan pointing out how Bush-like Jeff looked as Burt Bacharach, with the gray hair and squinty eyes, and that SNL fan speculated what it would be like if Jeff replaced Parnell as SNL’s Bush impersonator (which goes to show you that a lot of SNL fans at the time were NOT happy with Parnell’s impression and wanted a re-casting of that role), especially since it’s known what a strong impressionist Jeff is. It would soon be learned that Jeff really did have a Bush impression in his back pocket during these years, which he was seen doing in his stand-up gigs at comedy clubs, but unfortunately, SNL would never use that Bush impression of his. Who knows? If SNL had him instead of Darrell replace Parnell’s Bush the following season, Jeff perhaps wouldn’t have disappeared mysteriously at the midpoint of that season, whether he left or got fired. (I don’t think we’ll ever find out the TRUE circumstances behind Jeff’s odd mid-season disappearance.) Not to mention we would’ve been spared of suffering through Darrell’s embarrassing attempt at a Bush impression.
— The rhyming commentary from Jeff’s Burt Bacharach was… okay, I guess. I dunno, I’m left feeling that the commentary seemed a little pointless. It didn’t do all that much for me.
— The Burt Bacharach commentary would later be removed from NBC’s rerun of this episode, presumably because this episode reran shortly after the war in Iraq officially began, and SNL possibly felt it would be in poor taste to re-air this lighthearted Bacharach commentary with him protesting an American attack on Iraq. I believe this commentary would later be left intact in the syndicated 60-minute version of this episode shown on cable.
— Jimmy and Tina’s jokes have been getting a little better, after such a horrible start.
— A pretty good laugh from Tracy’s proposal of an all-out race war suddenly getting cut off by a “Please stand by” graphic.
— When the aforementioned “Please stand by” graphic ends, Tracy is shown yelling the end of a sentence: “–white people’s heads on spikes!” I recall SNL later using the dress rehearsal version of Tracy’s commentary in reruns, in which he says a different angry line after the “Please stand by” graphic ends, though I can’t remember what the different line is.
— Much like the last Update commentary that Tracy did as himself two episodes prior, tonight’s Tracy commentary kinda felt below par for his standards. I want Tracy to go back to doing his usual stand-up-type Update commentaries that have substance, instead of the more half-assed commentaries that he’s done these past two times.
— Tina’s raunchy “The chicken came first” punchline about a chicken/rooster honeymoon is one of her all-time best jokes.
— Ah, our third Parnell Update rap!
— Hmm, tonight’s Parnell rap is different, with him doing a slower, more R&B style. An interesting change of pace, but I definitely prefer his harder, faster raps from prior. Also, the lyrics of tonight’s Parnell rap are failing to provide any laughs.
— Tonight’s weekly end-of-Update walk-on from SNL writer Eric Slovin has him walking by the Update desk as a blind man holding out a cup, and Jimmy placing his own pencil into Slovin’s cup.
STARS: **½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Lost Cause”
MICHAEL JACKSON IN A TREE
Elizabeth Taylor (RAD) gives counsel to Michael Jackson (AMP)
— Uh, wow. Quite a random setting and sketch.
— Even more random is the fact that Michael Jackson is being played by Amy, of all people. I remember some online SNL fans at the time, including myself, felt that this casting was a slap in the face to Dean, who was known to have an accurate Michael Jackson impression that he had been trying over and over to get on the air, but it would always end up getting cut after dress rehearsal. That being said, I now kinda understand the casting of Amy in this sketch, as her goofier, more childlike portrayal of Michael Jackson fits the tone of this silly, absurd piece more than Dean’s more realistic impression probably would’ve. But that ALSO being said, I’m not caring for Amy’s goofy MJ portrayal here. It’s not doing anything for me, and neither is this sketch itself. I’m not finding this sketch bad enough to call horrible or give a one-star rating to, as I kinda appreciate the insane, oddball nature that SNL’s going for in this, but the sketch has been just coming off very “whatever” to me.
— I will say that I am enjoying Rachel’s loopy portrayal of Elizabeth Taylor.
— I kinda like the detail of Jennifer using an Elvis voice and lip-twitch for her portrayal of Lisa Marie Presley.
— The audience is pretty dead throughout this sketch, as am I.
— Ah, we get to see Dean’s MJ impression after all, though he’s just playing one of three MJ alien clones. He at least gets a meaty amount of dialogue during his appearance here, though. Also, he looks absolutely unrecognizable under that makeup.
— Funny line about Elizabeth Taylor having a planet of her own.
STARS: **
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Guess I’m Doin’ Fine”
WAL-MART SUPERCENTER
greeters (AMP) & (host) marvel at the vast geography of their Wal-Mart
— Some pretty good laughs from this sketch’s increasingly exaggerated treatment of the huge size of this Wal-Mart store. I especially like the bit about Wal-Mart having its own languages.
— I’m starting to get almost a Bill Brasky vibe from the oddball factoids that Jennifer and Amy are taking turns telling each other about this Wal-Mart.
— Interesting character voice from Fred in a very small role.
STARS: ***½
MY BIG THICK NOVEL BY JACK HANDEY
deadly germs are dead in chapter 490
— I believe this ends up being the final My Big Thick Novel to ever air on SNL.
GOODNIGHTS
— I like the Clappin’ callback that Beck and his band are doing with each other and with some of the cast members.
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A good episode. Not much to complain about, and the first half of this episode had a few standout strong segments. Lately, the quality of this season’s episodes seems to be following a good-bad-good-bad pattern. DeNiro: bad, Gore: great, Gordon: bad, Liotta: solid, McConaughey: horrible, Garner: good.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Matthew McConaughey)
a big step up
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Christopher Walken. I guess that aforementioned good-bad-good-bad pattern that this season’s episodes have been following lately finally gets broken.