November 8, 2003 – Andy Roddick / Dave Matthews (S29 E5)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

20/20
Barbara Walters (RAD) lists epithets used on Martha Stewart (AMP)

— Wow, right out of the gate in tonight’s episode, we open on Rachel and Amy taking over impressions of Barbara Walters and Martha Stewart last done very famously and definitively by Cheri Oteri and Ana Gasteyer, respectively. One can’t help but wonder what this sketch would’ve been like in, say, 1998, when Cheri and Ana were sitting pretty in their SNL tenures.
— While Rachel’s Barbara Walters impression definitely doesn’t measure up to Cheri’s, I still like it, and she eerily looks A LOT like Barbara, especially with the soft focus screen filter being used. Amy’s Martha Stewart, on the other hand? Blah. I find that it leaves a lot to be desired, but that could just be because Ana Gasteyer set the bar so high.
— Some laughs from Barbara telling Martha how bad her reputation is.
— I absolutely love Rachel’s delivery when her Barbara tells Amy’s Martha “If you were a man, I’d be all over you like butter on beans.”
— Okay, all the listed-off insults toward Martha that Barbara is reading off are starting to get old. Is that all this sketch is focusing on?
— It feels like a nice change of pace seeing Rachel get a “Live from New York…”.
— I’m surprised this cold opening is over already. This was pretty short, and kinda underwhelming.
STARS: **½

MONOLOGUE
“Hey Ya!” variant by Andre 3000 (FIM) helps host hold onto the audience

— Wow, after only one episode, we already get the return of J.B. Smoove and Paula Pell as the married couple in the audience.
— Once again, J.B. Smoove kills. You really have to wonder how in the world SNL passed up the opportunity to put him in the cast, and instead had him stuck in the writer’s room. Finesse’s failed SNL stint makes SNL’s decision to not cast J.B. come off even more questionable in retrospect. I remember some SNL fans at the time making the argument that J.B., while hilarious, doesn’t have the versatility to be a cast member, as he seems capable of only playing himself. However, in light of Leslie Jones’ trajectory on SNL years later (she similarly started out as a writer who would frequently make scene-stealing onscreen appearances and would constantly out-perform actual cast member Sasheer Zamata the same way J.B. Smoove would constantly out-perform Finesse, and there was an outcry among SNL fans for SNL to put Leslie into the cast, despite her seeming lack of versatility, to the degree that SNL would eventually give in and indeed put Leslie in the cast), the argument that J.B. needed versatility to be an SNL cast member no longer holds water. J.B. would’ve killed as an SNL cast member.
— Some good laughs from John MacEnroe during his appearance.
— Kinda random having Finesse now appear as half of the last episode’s musical guest, Andre 3000, which SNL lampshades by having Finesse’s Andre 3000 explain “One thing led to another, and…. I’m still here!”
— I have very mixed feelings about this monologue turning into a performance of “Hey Ya!”. While I’m always a sucker for hearing that song, and the performance of it here is fun and energetic, it’s too unrelated to the rest of this monologue, comes off pointless and random, and leaves me questioning why it’s completely taken over this monologue. Did the writers lack THAT much confidence in Andy Roddick?
— Tina is really putting her all into her wild, sultry, intense dancing towards the end of this monologue.
STARS: **½

CRYOGENIX
await a future cure for your minor ailment in Cryogenix’s freezer

— Uh… I kinda liked Chris’ deadpan ending line “If it’s good enough for Ted Williams, it’s good enough for me.” That’s about all I liked in this commercial. I can’t find anything else to say about this.
STARS: *½

Z105
Joey Mack & his imaginary zoo crew go for cheap laughs at host’s expense

— This sketch has officially become recurring, after debuting a year prior. We’ll be seeing this sketch quite a lot this season.
— I strongly disliked the first installment of this sketch, but now that I have a better understanding of what these sketches are going for (thanks to Carson in the comments section of my Eric McCormack review from the preceding season), I’ll go into this installment with a more open mind.
— The voice that Jimmy is using for his black weatherman character sounds like Jimmy’s doing an intentional Tracy Morgan impression.
— Jimmy’s overly intense way of always saying “Aaaaand we’re BACK!” cracks me up, even if Jimmy himself seems a little too genuinely amused after saying it just now.
— As always, I have to commend Jimmy for his ability to seamlessly go from one voice to another to another to another.
— Overall, not bad, though this kinda felt like a rewrite of the first installment with Eric McCormack. I’m looking forward to the installment with Ben Affleck later this season, as I recall that one shaking up the format and also having a lot of fun interplay between Jimmy and Ben.
STARS: ***

BATTLE OF THE SEXES II
host easily bests cocky Billy Jean King (FRA) in Battle Of The Sexes II

— (*groan*) Kenan and Finesse in drag once again. This is only their fifth episode, and they’ve ALREADY been cast in too many female roles.
— Now we get Fred in drag, but at least his performance here is actually funny. I’m enjoying the casual way he’s portraying Billie Jean King as competitive.
— John MacEnroe continues to get laughs tonight, in a second appearance.
— Pretty funny visual of Fred’s Billie Jean King with a tennis ball sticking out of her forehead after the game.
STARS: ***½

GOVERNESS
teen (host) bristles as cheery governess Mrs. Dalrymple (RAD) babies him

— Rachel accidentally almost fell over backwards when initially arriving on an unseen moving platform. After that happened, she looked amused for a quick second before quickly getting into character.
— A good laugh from Chris’ exit line: “Your mom and I have some bedroom-related things to work out.”
— Rachel mistaking Andy’s bong for a toy is pretty funny.
— Not sure what to say about most of this sketch, but it’s decent.
— Rachel’s exit line: “If you need me, I’ll be in the living room watching scrambled porn.”
STARS: ***

UPDATE
CHP & John McEnroe [real] analyze host’s performance on SNL so far

— ANOTHER John MacEnroe appearance tonight. Who exactly is tonight’s host again?
— It’s always a nice and creative change of pace the rare times SNL does a post-sketch analysis segment like this.
— John MacEnroe, on how Andy Roddick could fail as a host: “He could freak out like Martin Lawrence and start swearing, or pull an Adrien Brody and start babbling in a Jamaican accent for no reason.” A very funny reference to two infamous SNL hosts, though I have to nitpick the Martin Lawrence reference, as “freaking out and starting to swear” is not even close to being accurate to what Martin’s hosting stint is infamous for. Or was MacEnroe’s line just referring to Martin’s reputation in general?
— Ehhh, I could do without a cliched “You cannot be serious!” reference from MacEnroe, though admittedly, he’s making it fun enough.
STARS: ****

ANDERSON MELLNER YEAR END PARTY
Daryl Hall (WLF) & John Oates (FRA) sink to corporate awards banquet gig

— I always love the pairing of Will and Fred, and they’re funny in their portrayal of Hall & Oates.
— Some laughs from Hall & Oates awkwardly shoehorning employee names into the lyrics of well-known Hall & Oates songs being performed.
— Wow, Will is really putting all of his soul into the note he’s singing right now, in a comedic fashion.
STARS: ***½

ADOPTION
Richard Williams (KET) wants to make host the brother of Venus & Serena

— Another post-sketch bit? And I’m surprised we haven’t had a commercial break since the Governess sketch started. A huge rarity for SNL to do four consecutive segments with no commercial break interruptions.
— This is probably the biggest showcase Kenan has had up to this point of his SNL tenure. It’ll be interesting to see how he does.
— Ehhh, Kenan’s performance isn’t doing much for me. He’s not too bad here, actually, but this feels like a pale shadow of the strong performance that he would give if he did this sketch nowadays.
STARS: **

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Save Me”

WEEKEND UPDATE
presidential candidate Tim Calhoun pulls skeletons out of his own closet

two-faced Rosie O’Donnell’s (HOS) demeanor is alternately sanguine & sour

— Yesssss! Tim Fucking Calhoun!
— I absolutely love how Tim Calhoun’s commentaries are always a string of non-sequitur one-liners, one of my all-time favorite forms of comedy.
— Tim Calhoun: “I propose that for scientific purposes, we breed a type of midget even smaller than the normal midget. We can call them… Shetland midgets.”
— Oh, come the hell on, SNL. A Horatio Sanz commentary on Update for the THIRD consecutive episode, and after how much of an abomination his last two commentaries were?
— (*groan*) There goes Jimmy and Horatio being a giggly mess as usual. Unlike the last episode, though, Jimmy is actually the one laughing worse than Horatio.
— I kinda like the idea of a two-sided Rosie O’Donnell giving an Update commentary, but I’m not caring for the execution, thanks to Horatio’s overly jokey, self-amused performance. As much as I don’t care for this, this at least isn’t nearly as much of a nightmare as Horatio’s last two Update commentaries were.
— This ends up being Horatio’s only appearance of the night, which is certainly refreshing after how heavily the show relied on him the last two episodes and how consistently annoying a lot of his performances were in those two episodes.
STARS: ***

TENNIS TALK WITH TIME TRAVELING SCOTT JOPLIN
past (SEM), present (host), future (WLF) of Andre Agassi

— This brilliantly absurd sketch from the preceding season’s Brittany Murphy episode returns for its second and final installment.
— I love the idea of the three guests in this installment being Andre Agassi from three different time periods. And Will is absolutely perfectly cast as Future Andre Agassi.
— Maya-as-Scott-Joplin’s smug smiles towards the camera while playing the piano after a zinger of his are even funnier here than they were in the first installment.
— Future Andre Agassi, when past and present Andre Agassi are arguing about Barbra Streisand: “That’s no way to talk about the president of the United States!”
— The audience seems to have gotten really tired of Scott Joplin’s constant zingers. It’s still killing with me, though.
— Overall, even better than the great first installment of this sketch.
STARS: *****

MERV THE PERV
Merv The Perv harasses patients in a gynecologist’s (host) waiting room

— This character has officially become recurring, after debuting over a year prior.
— We get the debut of Merv The Perv’s opening title sequence, but unlike subsequent installments of this sketch, the opening title sequence doesn’t have a theme song tonight. It just has Merv The Perv narrating about himself while background music plays.
— For some reason, I got a big laugh from Rachel’s simple delivery of “Ew.” after the opening title sequence ended.
— I like Merv The Perv’s ways of twisting innocent things ladies say into dirty statements (e.g. turning “I will break every bone in your body” into “I’d like to break into your body with my bone-y.”).
— Much like with another Chris Parnell recurring sketch, the Bloater Brothers, I seem to be in the minority in liking these Merv The Perv sketches.
— The concept of Andy being the attractive gynecologist who ladies find desirable and Merv The Perv being the unattractive gynecologist who ladies are turned off by reminds me of the Mel Gibson, Dream Gynecologist sketch from season 14, where Jon Lovitz appeared at the end as the undesirable gynecologist.
STARS: ***

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “So Damn Lucky”

JOCK TALK
testosterone drives Blake (JER) & fellow brutes (SEM) & (host)

— IIRC, this is a sketch version of a jock bit that Jeff did in his stand-up act around this time.
— There goes John MacEnroe making a FOURTH appearance tonight. Will somebody remind me once again why Roddick is hosting and not MacEnroe?
— Man, this sketch is DEAD. Not even MacEnroe is saving this. I don’t know what’s not working about the execution of this sketch, but it is simply NOT WORKING. There’s not a laugh to be heard from the audience nor me.
— Even just the setting and format of this sketch feels so tired. Does this SNL era need yet ANOTHER potentially-recurring talk show sketch? (Jeff’s impending mid-season disappearance prevents this sketch from eventually becoming recurring, though the lack of any audience laughter might’ve already sealed this sketch’s fate of staying a one-and-done sketch.) And having stock, boring jock characters hosting this particular talk show sketch isn’t the way to inject much-needed life into this tired format.
— I love Jeff as a celebrity impressionist, but between Drunk Girl, Baby K, and now this jock character, I’m finding Jeff’s character work to leave A LOT to be desired.
— Boy, an SNL crew member really screwed up just now when they tried cueing audio of Kelly Clarkson’s “Miss Independent” song. Sadly, that unscripted gaffe is the closest to a funny thing to happen in this entire sketch.
STARS: *

ACTION NEWS 13
local newscast is debilitated by incessant theme music & audio overload

— Great to see Will getting so much airtime tonight, especially given how extremely underused he was in the first two episodes of this season.
— I like the slow burn that Will and Maya’s news anchors do when the opening news theme music fails to stop.
— The look on Andy’s face when the music keeps preventing him from speaking is pretty funny.
— Out of SNL’s “Everything goes wrong during a newscast or morning show” sketches, this is okay, but doesn’t hold a candle to the one that SNL did with Will Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer in season 27’s Britney Spears episode, nor the one that SNL would later do with Horatio and Kristen Wiig in the Julia Louis-Dreyfus-hosted episode from season 31.
STARS: ***

GOODNIGHTS

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IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— An average episode. The show started off shaky with the first few segments, but afterwards, things stabilized to an overall decent effort.

MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Kelly Ripa)
a very slight step down

My full set of screencaps for this episode is here

TOMORROW
Alec Baldwin