Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
HARDBALL WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS
jilted Joe Lieberman (CHP) & coy Hillary Clinton (AMP) campaign
— Amy’s Hillary Clinton impression makes its debut. I had forgotten until now that the first few years Amy plays Hillary, she wears that ridiculous prosthetic big nose. It baffled me back then, and it baffles me now. Hillary Clinton doesn’t have a big or distinctive-looking nose, so why make Amy’s Hillary look like she has one? It’s like when SNL pointlessly had Chris wear a prosthetic nose the first time he played George W. Bush.
— Boy, Darrell’s Chris Matthews is going particularly heavy on the comical analogies, much to this sketch’s detriment. The analogies ain’t that funny for this cold opening to be relying so heavily on.
— Pretty funny bit with Amy’s Hillary simultaneously denying that she’ll run for president and teasing that she will, though I swear SNL used this joke with another politician either before or after tonight’s episode.
— Kenan in a dress.
— A funny comment from Kenan’s Carol Moseley Braun about female black Jewish ninjas.
— Ugh, this was around the time where comedies overused the gag of un-hip white people talking in “fo shizzle” speak. That has not aged well, in my opinion.
— Overall, these Hardball sketches seem to be running out of steam lately. The preceding season, these Hardball sketches consistently knocked it out of the park. This season, on the other hand, Hardball sketches have been just average so far.
STARS: ***
MONOLOGUE
ambivalent toward SNL, Gollum (CHK) plugs sitcom co-starring host
— Chris Kattan makes his SECOND cameo in just the first half of this season alone, after leaving the cast at the end of the preceding season. Is he on his way to becoming to this season what Jon Lovitz was to season 16? At least Lovitz was someone you didn’t mind seeing back, plus SNL would make self-deprecating jokes about Lovitz’s constant cameos.
— At least Kattan’s Gollum impression is always pretty fun.
— Instead of having Kattan do a self-deprecating joke about his constant cameos, SNL goes the opposite direction by having Kattan’s Gollum claim “The show’s been sucking wind ever since Chris Kattan left!”, though I know it’s just a tongue-in-cheek line.
— I love the cheesy Gollum/Frodo sitcom opening credits and theme song, being a spot-on amalgamation of the credits and themes from many classic sitcoms.
STARS: ***
BOYS CHOIR
high-voiced school choir rivals (host), (JIF), (WLF) test their range
— It feels odd in retrospect seeing Kenan play this type of utility role so early in his SNL tenure. He doesn’t yet have the solid leadership skills that he has nowadays. In this sketch, I’m not finding him very believable as a school teacher. He looks more like his Nickelodeon-era kid self wearing a big fake mustache to play a grown-up.
— Of the three guys, Will’s falsetto voice is by far the funniest. The other two guys’ falsettos aren’t making me laugh much, though the interplay between all three guys is fairly entertaining.
— Jimmy: “Suck my vocal chord, Manville.”
— Funny bit with Jimmy and Will repeatedly punching Elijah Wood in groin to get his deepening voice back to its former higher pitch.
— This sketch would later be replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns, in which Jimmy breaks hard and laughs his way through several portions of the sketch.
STARS: ***
QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY
makeover updates Santa’s (HOS) look
— The guys are fine in their portrayal of the Queer Eye guys, but I’m not finding myself laughing much here.
— At least Jimmy and Horatio managed to get through a scene together without fucking anything up, for once.
— The Queer Eye guys are right: Rachel does look adorable as Mrs. Claus.
— A laugh from the little boy telling the made-over Santa that he looks like Kathy Bates.
STARS: **
TV FUNHOUSE
by RBS- George W. Bush garb tracks photo op milieu
— Believe it or not, this is the first TV Funhouse since all the way back in the first episode of this season. Ever since TV Funhouse debuted in season 22, I don’t think there’s ever been THIS long of a gap between cartoons up until this point. So I take it Smigel’s been busy this season working on and plugging his Triumph The Insult Comic Dog CD?
— Some laughs from President Bush’s outfits ridiculously relating to where he’s giving his speech.
— The ape-humping scene is cheap but funny, and reminds me of the typical humor from early Fun With Real Audio cartoons.
STARS: ***
WAKE UP WAKEFIELD!
Megan falls for Sheldon’s trumpeter friend (host)
— This recurring sketch makes its first appearance of the season, and, believe it or not, ends up being the last appearance until much later in March 2006, where it makes its final appearance.
— Interesting change having the SNL host play a member of Wake Up Wakefield’s house band, Jazz Times Ten.
— As usual, funny lines from Sheldon all throughout this.
— As much as Horatio’s typical hamminess has been driving me mad this season, it still works for me as his teacher character in these Wake Up Wakefield sketches.
— When Elijah’s character and Megan are flirting with each other, I like Sheldon constantly saying “No. This isn’t happening. No”, even though I don’t quite understand why he’s saying that.
STARS: ***
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Are You Gonna Be My Girl”
WEEKEND UPDATE
unintelligible lyrics of John Mayer’s (JIF) holiday song lack clarity
Whitney Houston (MAR) & daughter Bobbi (KET) do “Little Drummer Boy” duet
— That awful Kabbalah joke is our obligatory cringey Tina Fey joke of the week.
— Interesting change of pace for Update, with Jimmy doing a segment as John Mayer on a set separate from the Update set.
— The whole “blah blah blah” thing with Jimmy’s John Mayer? Ehhh. In past viewings of this episode, I’ve gone back-and-forth between finding this bit stupidly funny and finding it just plain stupid. I found it to be the latter during my current viewing. Didn’t make me laugh.
— I think I spoke to soon about our obligatory cringey Tina Fey joke of the week, because what the holy fuck was her whole over-the-top rant about Iraq contracts going for just now? (*sigh*) Tina continues to go badly downhill these past two seasons and lose so much of her spark, while Jimmy continues to get better and better and also develop a solid habit of delivering deadpan, blunt Norm Macdonald-type jokes that work.
— I really like the “I guess we’re gonna have this baby” side bit between Jimmy and Tina. At least Tina is still always reliable when doing this type of side bit with Jimmy, which I’m going to miss after this season, as this is Jimmy’s final season.
— Kenan in a dress. Fucking TWICE tonight.
— Odd how Kenan is lip-syncing to actual audio of the real Bobbi Kristina Brown singing, when you would expect SNL to just have Kenan himself sing in a high-pitched voice.
— This Bobbi Kristina/Whitney/Bobby segment isn’t doing much for me.
STARS: **½
VERSACE EGG NOG
Boy George (host) likes Donatella Versace’s (MAR) designer egg nog
— I like Maya-as-Versace’s little scream when she gets stuck in the chimney at the beginning.
— Funny visual of Elijah’s Boy George in that makeup.
— Unlike his teacher character in the Wake Up Wakefield sketches, Horatio’s typical hamminess DOESN’T work for me when he plays Rosie O’Donnell.
— Fucking ugh. There goes ANOTHER display of Horatio’s horrible habit of awkwardly pausing before delivering some lines. (*sigh*) For fuck’s sake, Horatio. Why do you always DO that?!?
— So many cheap attempts at laughs in this sketch. Blah. Very little of this is working for me. These Versace sketches have really fallen off lately. I can’t remember the last good one. I think the Versace Pockets one from the first episode of the preceding season was the last one I liked.
STARS: **
HOWARD DEAN FOR AMERICA
Al Gore’s (DAH) anti-Bush extremism chagrins endorsee Howard Dean (JER)
— Always good to see Darrell’s Al Gore impression.
— A very slow-paced sketch. The hyperbole from Darrell’s Gore regarding how awful of a president George W. Bush is has some laughs, but this sketch is DRAGGING. Yet another example of how boring, dull, and overly talky Jim Downey’s political writing has become these past two seasons.
STARS: **
THE RIALTO GRANDE
Buddy Mills consoles young comic with abandonment issues (host)
— Much like Tracy Morgan getting to do a Brian Fellow sketch when cameoing in the preceding episode, I see SNL is trying to make Kattan feel at home tonight by bringing back these Rialto Grande sketches. You really start to get the feeling that Tracy and Kattan never even left the show. This also continues this season’s experimental theme of treating certain special guests as an uncredited co-host. Kinda reminds me of how, in late season 11 and early-mid season 12, certain special guests like Marvelous Marvin Hagler, Christopher Durang, and Paulina Porizkova would appear in almost as many sketches as the host.
— Kattan seems to have added a new aspect to his Buddy Mills character, where he’s doing lots of sudden vocal pitch changes during his talk with Elijah right now. It’s kinda working for me, but I can see it annoying some people.
— Like I usually say, Fred-as-Mackey’s delayed rimshot occurring during an emotional, teary-eyed breakdown from the character played by the host never fails to slay me EVERY. DAMN. TIME.
— This ends up being the last time we ever see this recurring sketch. Interesting how every single installment of this sketch appeared in the calendar year 2003.
STARS: ****
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Look What You’ve Done”
GOODNIGHTS
host, CHK, castmembers end the show from Rockefeller Center skating rink
— Ice skating goodnights!
— Much like the original ice skating goodnights from season 2’s Candice Bergen episode, Elijah, Kattan, and the cast are dressed in old-timey costumes from (I think) A Christmas Carol.
— I feel bad for laughing at a wobbly Kattan falling flat on the ice IMMEDIATELY after finally stabilizing himself on his skates. Hope he didn’t hurt himself, as that looked like a pretty nasty fall.
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A fairly disappointing Christmas episode. Almost nothing in it was memorable, quite a number of segments were weak, and the only sketch I found strong was just the return of a former cast member’s recurring sketch where the same basic thing happens in every single installment, even though it always works (Rialto Grande).
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Al Sharpton)
a mild step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
We enter the year 2004, with host Jennifer Aniston