Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
ENDORSEMENT
John Kerry (SEM) doesn’t want bad-luck charm Al Gore (DAH) to endorse him
— Seth’s got John Kerry’s smile down pretty well, but does he have to keep briefly flashing it so often throughout this cold opening? He’s pushing that smile WAY too hard in this.
— A laugh from Darrell-as-Al-Gore’s odd delivery of “IIIIIIIII’ve decided to suppoooort yoooouuuu.”
— The “crackle crackle” bit Seth’s Kerry uses as an excuse to end the phone conversation with Gore made me laugh, but it’s a cliched joke.
— Aside from the aforementioned two decent bits (and not even those were particularly hilarious), this overall cold opening did not have many laughs. Typical dull Jim Downey political writing from this period.
STARS: **
MONOLOGUE
E.T. (WLF) visits, as do ’80s sci-fi characters host didn’t co-star with
— Good makeup on Will as E.T.
— Meh. I’m not caring for the direction this has gone in, with characters from non-Drew Barrymore movies mistakenly thinking Drew was in their movies. Lazy premise that shows the writers didn’t know what else to do for this monologue. This probably would’ve been better off just focusing on Will’s E.T.
— Is that an ad-lib Darrell made after stumbling over the word “sith”? Drew seemed genuinely amused.
STARS: **
A VERY SPECIAL VALENTINE’S VERSACE
Courtney Love (host) lays waste
— Blah. Are they going to trot out this Versace impression for EVERY holiday this season? First it was Halloween, then Christmas, now Valentine’s Day. Is Easter next up on the queue?
— This sketch is really going through the motions. This Versace routine is simply past its prime by this point, as is Horatio’s Elton John shtick (though I’m pretty sure the latter never had a prime to begin with).
— I finally got one laugh just now, from Versace’s slam to Amy’s Madonna about Dennis Rodman “boning you sideways”.
— Feels a little odd seeing somebody other than Molly Shannon play Courtney Love.
— The audience is eating up Drew-as-Courtney-Love’s violent outbursts, but it’s doing absolutely nothing for me.
— Ugh, they are dragging the hell out of the bit with Versace repeatedly asking Courtney Love to not smash Versace’s cherished figurines, which I get is supposed to be funny because of how drawn-out it is, but it’s just annoying me.
— Double ugh, now there goes these Versace sketches’ obligatory endless repetition of the word “bitch”. As I said in my review of the Versace sketch from the preceding season’s Salma Hayek episode, “These Versace sketches need to realize that the word ‘bitch’ stops being funny when it’s thrown around so frequently in such a short time frame.”
STARS: *½
JARRET’S ROOM
Gobi’s hot stoner sister (host) appears in dream sequence
— Surprisingly, this is the first appearance this recurring sketch has made all season. I’m glad they rightfully cut back big-time on the frequency of these sketches, after how heavily overused it was in the preceding season.
— An unintentional laugh from how a whole bunch of teen Jimmy Fallon fangirls in the audience can be heard loudly going “Awwww!” after Jarret says he doesn’t have a valentine this year.
— The “pipe” that Jarret is smoking in the fantasy sequence is fairly funny (the second-to-last above screencap for this sketch).
— The fantasy sequence is being awkwardly executed, but it has a bit of a charm.
— Jesus Christ, as if it weren’t obvious enough that Jarret’s Room is such a Wayne’s World knock-off, tonight’s Jarret’s Room installment follows up the fantasy sequence with an “I guess it was all a dream… or was it?!? (*sees something in reality from the dream*)” bit, which was a staple of Wayne’s World sketches that involved fantasy sequences. Way to be original, Jarret’s Room writers.
STARS: **½
ACCESS HOLLYWOOD
Charlize Theron (host) gets ugly for acting accolades
— The silly movie clips feel like cheap laughs. Drew is pulling it off okay enough, but I’m still not crazy about the clips.
— Enough with the damn “Pat O’Brien can’t breathe through his nose” jokes. It’s beyond played-out by this point.
STARS: **½
OCTANE
motorcycle movie’s special effects comprise toys & lighter fluid
— Brief J.B. Smoove appearance!
— Kenan’s intense delivery during his brief scene was very funny.
— Not sure what to say about this overall. I got laughs from the fast-paced insanity of this and from the use of cheap model toys for the “action” scenes, but this commercial went by really fast and was kinda hard to follow.
STARS: **½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Milkshake”
WEEKEND UPDATE
imprisoned Diana Ross (MAR) contrasts life behind bars with glory days
— Not caring much for this commentary with Diana Ross in prison, and they’re overdoing her “Jail is not like that” statements.
— Holy hell, that’s it?!? Update is over ALREADY?!? Wow, this Update was only about five minutes long. At least Jimmy and Tina’s jokes were mostly decent. Could’ve used a better guest commentary, though.
STARS: ***
MIKE’S BAR
John Kerry (SEM), George W. Bush (WLF), Bill Clinton (DAH) meet at Yale
— We get the debut of Will’s George W. Bush impression, making this the THIRD time in just these past two seasons that the Bush impression has been given to somebody new. Interesting how Will’s Bush is making its debut in a sketch set several decades prior. Can’t remember any other time in SNL history where an important impression of a current president debuted in such a manner.
— Right out of the gate, Will’s Bush impression is coming off as a huge improvement over both Chris and (especially) Darrell’s Bush impressions. Will sounds enough like Bush here, and most importantly, his impression is very fun, immediately making you get onboard with it.
— A good and creative setting of Bush, John Kerry, and Bill Clinton meeting each other in the 1960s, and this sketch is being executed well.
— A great line from Darrell’s Clinton, asking Seth’s Kerry, in regards to Drew’s Hillary Rodham, “Hey, G.I. Joe, why don’t you do us all a favor and jump on THAT grenade?”
— There’s Seth briefly flashing that Kerry smile once again. It’s as if that smile is the only thing Seth personally feels he’s nailed about John Kerry, so he’s overcompensating by relying very heavily on it.
STARS: ****
LARRY KING LIVE
flighty Anna Nicole Smith (host) has lost weight
— Quite a lot of entertainment show spoofs tonight with Jimmy as the host, between Access Hollywood and now this.
— For various reasons, it feels odd seeing Jimmy playing Larry King. I’m also not caring much for his impression. He’s not sounding believable in the role.
— I remember the trainwreck Anna Nicole Smith interview this sketch is spoofing.
— The “biscuit” bit at the end was funny, but this overall sketch just kinda came and went with mostly only mild-at-best chuckles from me.
STARS: **
SPY GLASS
Ian & Zoe point the lens at their own scandalous behavior
— Like the first time this sketch appeared, we get some pretty fun bad puns from Seth and Amy’s characters.
— Seth’s delivery gets better and better with each passing installment of this sketch, and he had a string of particularly funny puns about Diana Ross just now.
— Geez, we get the unnecessary return of Jimmy’s British Pat O’Brien, as well as the return of more tepid “Pat O’Brien can’t breathe through his nose” jokes. Ugh, ENOUGH with this shit.
STARS: ***
THE WORLD OF SCOTT WAINIO
people talk into a microphone-free hand
— The no-longer-on-the-show Jeff Richards does the voice-over intro at the beginning of this, proving that this is a segment that had been sitting on SNL’s shelf for a while.
— Uh… okay, this is certainly something different. At least we’re getting a change of pace for this SNL era. I like the idea of this era doing a short film starring an unknown SNL writer.
— Just when I thought I’d be onboard for this, I end up being very put off by the result. How is Scott Wainio interviewing people with an invisible microphone supposed to be even remotely funny? This feels like a failed attempt at the type of absurdist, alternative humor that I usually love. And why does Wainio keep suggestively rubbing some of the men he’s interviewing?
— Overall, I’m all for SNL trying offbeat concepts, but yeah, this did NOT work for me.
— “The World of Scott Wainio” seems like it was being set up to eventually become a recurring segment (in fact, when this originally aired, I remember wondering if SNL was attempting a new-age Rocket Report type of segment), but we end up never seeing this return. I wouldn’t have minded seeing this get a second shot, as long as it had an actual funny concept, unlike tonight’s.
STARS: **
THE WHITE STRIPES
ostensible crime fighters Jack (JIF) & Meg (host) White just play music
— Poor Chris has been practically non-existent tonight.
— Jimmy, on the other hand, has been EVERYWHERE tonight.
— Interesting concept of The White Stripes as superheroes.
— Meh. The twist with The White Stripes’ self-played superhero theme song being so long that the criminals get away is a cliched gag that I swear SNL used to better effect another time, though I can’t remember when.
— Very weak ending.
STARS: **
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Trick Me”
PRINCE SHOW
Beyonce Knowles (MAR) mediates Pink (host) guest spot
— This sketch makes its debut. Kinda surprising in retrospect to see that this debuted as a 10-to-1 sketch.
— While this is yet another damn celebrity-hosted talk show sketch, an overused concept of which I’ve griped about many times, Fred’s Prince impression and the eccentric setting of this sketch seem like they’ll be fun.
— Drew has done a celebrity impression in almost every single sketch tonight. I’m not caring much for her take on Pink in this particular sketch. Feels like she’s just doing a poor man’s variation of Amy’s Avril Lavigne impression.
— Such a spot-on Prince impression from Fred, which makes sense, given what a devoted Prince fanatic Fred is said to be.
— Kenan’s performance as George Clinton is kinda making me laugh.
— All the oddball little segments Prince does throughout this are amusing and entertaining.
— I believe we’ve gotten our very first “Kenan reacts” moment in SNL history, when the camera does a brief cutaway to Kenan’s George Clinton speechlessly staring in confusion at Prince’s odd mask routine (screencap below).
— Overall, a good debut for this sketch. I personally feel this should’ve stayed a one-off. IIRC, the subsequent installments of this sketch don’t offer anything particularly new or exciting, and the concept gradually wears thin.
STARS: ***½
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A blah episode. There were way too many things that I didn’t care for in this episode, particularly in the first half of the show, in which I didn’t give ANYTHING a passing rating. Overall, I’m sure I’ll go on to remember absolutely nothing about this episode, aside from the Mike’s Bar sketch.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Megan Mullally)
a big step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Christina Aguilera