Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
HARDBALL WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS
Michael Isikoff (CHP) & Condoleezza Rice (MAR) on media ethics
— It appears to be a tradition in this era for the seasons finale’s cold opening to be a Hardball sketch, as this is the third consecutive season finale in which that’s happened.
— I’m tired of Darrell’s Chris Matthews always making analogies to some celebrity.
— A cheap laugh from the “Lard Ball” newspaper photo.
— There’s our obligatory reliable appearance from Will’s Zell Miller. And unlike the last time he appeared, we get Will’s actually turning red-faced during his yelling this time. However, I feel like the writing of his dialogue in these Hardball sketches have been getting weaker and weaker lately. It feels like these last two or three Zell Miller appearances have just been relying on the strength of Will’s great yelling, without giving him any actual good dialogue.
STARS: ***
MONOLOGUE
host’s future self (AMP) advises her to slow down & lay off the partying
— Was that awkward opening joke from Lindsay Lohan about hosting SNL as a blonde even supposed to be a joke?
— Not a bad premise of Lindsay being visited by her future self. However, I recall never liking this monologue much.
— When Lindsay incredulously asks “Are we doing porn?!?” after Future Lindsay tells her she’ll be hosting a Cinemax show, I got a laugh from Future Lindsay saying “No, we’re introducing porn! It’s totally different!”
— I’m not getting many laughs here, and this feels kinda uncomfortable to watch in retrospect, knowing how on-point this monologue was in predicting a very trashy and troubled future for Lindsay, which is something I can’t even laugh at anymore. Making this monologue even sadder in retrospect is the fact that, immediately after tonight’s episode ended, Tina and the rest of the cast reportedly staged an intervention for Lindsay backstage, due to so many issues Lindsay was going through (Lindsay would later publicly admit she had a drug and bulimia problem during this period). My details of that intervention and when exactly it occurred may be a little off, as I’m going by my memory of what I once heard years ago, but if I’m correct that the intervention indeed took place right after tonight’s season finale ended, then the fact that, instead of the cast ending a season in a very celebratory manner backstage, the cast ends THIS particular season holding a very somber intervention for a host, is YET ANOTHER sign of what a crappy, troubled season this has been for SNL.
— I got a chuckle from Future Lindsay revealing at the end that she’s only from the year 2007.
STARS: **
WOOMBA
Rerun from 12/18/04
AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL
one-legged Amber loses to insecure (host)
Britney And Kevin: Chaotic- Britney Spears (RAD) & Kevin Federline (SEM) mug & make out
— Much like Hardball, Amy’s one-legged Amber character appearing in the season finale seems to have become a season finale tradition around this time, as this is the second consecutive season finale to have one.
— I never realized until now how impressive it is that Amy can stand on just one leg for such a long time in these Amber sketches without needing to lean on something.
— I got a laugh from Amber confidently telling her opponents “Take a walk, bitches!……cuz I can’t.”
— Boy, is Lindsay looking unhealthily skinny here.
— Both the camerawork and the performers’ timing feel a little off throughout this sketch.
— Rachel as Britney Spears in the pre-taped “Britney and Kevin: Chaotic” promo? Doesn’t Amy usually play Britney? Even though the Chaotic scene is pre-taped, maybe SNL didn’t want Amy having two lead roles in the same sketch.
— They are overdoing the hell out of the “Amber falls over after dancing” gag.
— Ugh, there goes the obligatory farting from Amber. And, man, they’re going really heavy on it here.
— Overall, some laughs, but nothing great as a whole. These Amber sketches have seen better days.
STARS: **
MOVIE THEATRE
costumed Star Wars fans deal with failure to get into Revenge Of The Sith
— Lindsay’s timing during her opening long-winded angry spiel seems off.
— I like the bit with Rob revealing that his excessive back hair is all him and not part of his Chewbacca costume, and then saying “Why do you think I identify with the Wookie as a race?”
— Some funny lines throughout this sketch.
— The “Take it easy, Lando” “How’d he know your name was Lando?” exchange between Seth’s character and the black guys behind him was possibly a hacky joke, but it made me laugh.
— Odd use of Darrell here.
— Not sure how to react to the racial gag with Kenan and Finesse at the end of this.
STARS: ***
TV FUNHOUSE
“Divertor” by RBS- superhero distracts media to nullify political flak
— The voice for Jay Leno is hilarious.
— Ha, the voice for Sinbad is so bad, it’s funny.
— Isn’t Charles Rangel black? Why is he animated as white in this? He’s also given an odd white voice here, though I’m not too familiar with the real Charles Rangel’s voice.
— I’m enjoying the satire in this cartoon, and the celebrity scandals that are created in an attempt to take attention away from national crises.
— Now Bob Dole is the next celebrity in this cartoon to be given a very odd voice. Must be a theme throughout this cartoon.
— The Jenna Elfman scene is a good and much-needed dig at SNL’s corny and sometimes-annoying “sneaker-uppers” (where a cast member impersonating a celebrity suddenly gets confronted by the real celebrity they’re playing). This also may possibly be specifically spoofing the unfunny Paula Abdul/Amy Poehler mess of a cold opening from two episodes prior.
— The ending line about Mike Tyson was very funny.
— The closing credits of this TV Funhouse misspell Kenan’s first name as “Keenan”.
STARS: ****
APPALACHIAN EMERGENCY ROOM
hayseeds seek treatment for strange maladies
— Lindsay is wearing the same cheerleader outfit that Paris Hilton wore in a Merv The Perv sketch earlier this season (side-by-side comparison below).
I get the feeling there’s yet another sketch I’ve seen that same cheerleader outfit in too.
— For the second time tonight, Lindsay has a hard time delivering a very long-winded spiel. Her flubbing her long spiel in this particular sketch causes it to fall badly flat.
— Lindsay did get a laugh from me just now with her anguished line “I think I popped my cooter bone out!” after her character’s failed attempt to display some cheerleader moves.
— Ugh, not only did the “drawing with a sharpie pen stuck in his butt” gag with Chris’ character not work for me, but did they have to throw in an unnecessary fart sound effect during it, especially given the fact that we just had an excessive fart gag in that Amber sketch earlier tonight?
— Overall, with this being the second consecutive Appalachian Emergency Room sketch that I wasn’t too impressed with, I think it’s safe to say I’ve finally officially gotten tired of this recurring sketch after liking its first few installments. Luckily, there’s only two installments of this sketch remaining, and IIRC, the next one in the following season’s Jack Black episode is actually pretty solid.
STARS: **
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Speed Of Sound”
WEEKEND UPDATE
lesbian partners (RAD) & (MAR) exhibit typical marriage-induced foibles
Vicente Fox’s (FRA) apology to Al Sharpton (KET) leads to racial jokes
— Jesus Christ, Tina’s execution of that opening Saddam Hussein headline photo bit was TERRIBLE. The camerawork was also very awkward during that part too (which is my second time tonight pointing out the camerawork being off during something in this episode).
— I’m pretty sure Rachel’s wearing the same wig she wore in the famous Key Party sketch earlier this season (side-by-side comparison below).
— Ugh at the joke of Tina mistaking Maya and Rachel’s lesbian couple for men, a joke that not only hasn’t aged well at all, but was cringey and hacky even back in 2005.
— Ugh again, I can see this Maya/Rachel commentary is going to be a parade of bad lesbian stereotypes. Then again, what else do you expect from season 30, a season hyperfocused on hacky gay stereotype humor?
— Overall, not a single laugh from me during the Maya/Rachel lesbian couple commentary.
— Ugh yet again, this time at Tina and Amy’s clapter-inducing anti-War In Iraq jokes throughout this Update.
— At separate points in tonight’s Update, both Tina AND Amy have flubbed their delivery of a joke. For Amy, it unfortunately happens during what was her final joke of this season, which she comically lampshades in fake frustration during an ad-lib. Her screwing up her last joke of the season is an unintentionally perfect way to sum up just how horrible of a season she’s had during her first year as an Update anchorperson.
— Fred’s Vicente Fox telling Kenan’s Al Sharpton an offensive pizza-related joke about black people gave me a good laugh, and strangely feels like a joke that would’ve fit perfectly in an Update commentary from Ritchie B & Marcus (Fred’s deaf comedian character and his interpreter, played by Kenan), which is funny, because, like this Vicente Fox/Al Sharpton commentary, the Ritchie B and Marcus commentaries pair Fred and Kenan together.
— I’m actually really liking the touchy racial jokes from Fred’s Fox and Kenan’s Sharpton about each other’s culture. Racial humor like that can be hard for SNL to pull off without crossing a line, but I feel this is finding the right balance.
STARS: **
PRINCE SHOW
Nick Lachey (WLF) & Jessica Simpson (host) pop in
— Ugh. I am so tired of these overly formulaic Prince Show sketches.
— Aaaaaand there goes season 30’s obligatory weekly instance of Maya singing.
— Yet another sketch tonight where Lindsay’s unhealthy-looking skinniness is bothering and distracting me.
— Lindsay and Will are coming off so ill-fitting in the role of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. Will in particular. I couldn’t in a million years buy him as Nick Lachey.
— Ugh, why does Kenan play almost EVERY single black female role exactly the same? The real Wanda Sykes has a very distinctive voice, but of course, Kenan’s just playing her the same way he plays Star Jones and almost every other black female celebrity he’s impersonated up to this point in his SNL tenure.
— They are overdoing the fucking HELL out of the cutaways to Prince’s “laughing” at Wanda Sykes’ jokes.
STARS: *½
ITALIAN FAMILY
(HOS)’s enraged moll (host) destroys furnishings of his gangster hangout
— Oh, no. This feels like an indirect sequel/variation of that awful sketch from this season’s Robert DeNiro episode where Horatio was a cop going undercover in the mafia.
— Aaaaaand there goes Horatio’s awful habit of awkwardly pausing for a long time before delivering a line.
— Speaking of awful Horatio Sanz habits, he’s, of course, smirking his way though this entire sketch when his character is supposed to be upset. (*sigh*) Only one season left to put up with Horatio’s typical bullshit on SNL.
— A very weak and one-note premise with Lindsay breaking every object in the room.
— I got a cheap laugh from Rachel’s VERY broad Italian stereotype performance, even though her and Darrell’s scene came off pointless and awkwardly staged.
— SNL’s really wasting Jason in this sketch, his only appearance of the entire night.
— All of the gangsters pulling a gun on Lindsay when she’s about to break a photo of Frank Sinatra was the first genuinely funny gag in this otherwise bad sketch.
— Oof, that “They’re gettin’ along a lot better these days” punchline was AWFUL.
STARS: *½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Fix You”
RIDE HOME
tipsy lech (CHP) fails to arouse interest of teenage babysitter (host)
— Aaaaaaand the final live sketch of the troubled season 30 just so happens to be a sketch that is eerily similar to a VERY notorious, off-putting, and punchline-less sketch from the also-troubled season 20, in which Chris Elliott as a sleazy husband drives his family’s underage babysitter (played by Mark McKinney in drag) home, and, during the car ride, gets her drunk and eventually has his way with her.
— Yeah, so far, this sketch is giving me WAAAAYYYY too many reminders of that horrible Elliott/McKinney sketch, and the similarities are very unsettling to me. How the holy fuck do you end a season like this, SNL?!?
— I do kinda like Chris’ singing of Green Day’s “Boulevard of Broken Dreams”.
— This sketch at least ends on a twist that DOESN’T involve Chris getting Lindsay’s underage character drunk and having sex with her, as Maya suddenly pops up from under the backseat as Chris’ wife. Aside from the dirty deed this thankfully prevented Chris from doing with Lindsay, that twist did nothing for me.
STARS: *
BEAR CITY
by T. Sean Shannon- an anthropomorphic ursine watches porn
— This ends up being the final appearance of Bear City.
— A hilarious extensive, lengthy gag with a teenage bear’s mother walking in on him…uh…enjoying himself while watching a bear porno.
— An overall great way for the Bear City shorts to go out. I’m glad that I’ve come around on these shorts, given my very low opinion of them back when they originally aired.
STARS: ****
GOODNIGHTS
— Horatio can be seen holding up a sign that states “Good luck P P”, referring to SNL writer Paula Pell, who we then get a special close-up of onstage. She’s departing from the show to work on a then-upcoming new NBC sitcom called, I think, Thick And Thin. However, the sitcom (who’s cast was to include SNL’s own Chris Parnell, who actually misses a few early SNL episodes in the following season to film some Thick And Thin episodes) would end up never making it to air.
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A fitting way to end a lousy season, as this was a lousy finale. The post-Weekend Update half of this episode was particularly terrible, aside from the fun final Bear City short. Add in some off performances from a troubled and unhealthy Lindsay Lohan, and you have a very rough season finale.
— Good freakin’ riddance to this wretched season. It was hell for me to review, and I reviewed seasons 6, 11, and 20, all very infamous as the three “disaster seasons” of SNL, yet none of which made me as miserable to review as THIS season did. I absolutely believe this season NEEDS to be universally recognized by people as being right down there with seasons 6, 11, and 20 as one of the worst seasons of the show, even though the media, SNL books, etc. never acknowledge it as such, thus letting this season undeservedly go scot-free in terms of its reputation. Before covering this season in this SNL project of mine, I personally have always strongly disliked season 30, but definitely didn’t feel it was comparable to seasons 6, 11, and 20. After doing these episode reviews, however, I was surprised to discover that this season was even worse than I had ever remembered. Just…“oof” is all I can say after reviewing this season. Though I don’t know if I would say this THE worst season ever, I wouldn’t be surprised if my total rating average for this season as a whole ends up being the lowest ever.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Will Ferrell)
a big step down
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS ENTIRE SEASON, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS OVERALL SEASON STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (2003-04)
a mild step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Season 31 begins, with Steve Carell as a host, two new cast members, and the debut of SNL airing in High Definition and widescreen