Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
HARDBALL WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS
sweaty Scott McClellan (JAS) & chary Nancy Pelosi (AMP) are mum
— This ends up being the final traditional installment of Hardball. The only two remaining Hardball sketches, both of which appear the following season, use a very different format.
— Ugh, I am so tired of Darrell-as-Chris-Matthews’ habit of making similes to a random celebrity.
— Darrell is stumbly as hell in this sketch so far. Second episode in a row I’ve noticed that in, as he also stumbled his way through the O’Reilly Factor sketch in the preceding episode.
— Okay, I did get a laugh just now from Darrell-as-Matthews’ simile about Caroline Rhea, which I hate to admit to laughing at, given how crass and immature the line was.
— Sudeikis continues to be come off so solid and experienced for someone who’s so new in the cast.
— A laugh from Amy-as-Nancy-Pelosi’s line about democrats handling their ideas by recording them on a tape, putting that tape in a box, then putting that box in the garbage.
— The dialogue for Will’s Zell Miller has thankfully gotten better than the dialogue written for him in his last two appearances before this, where the writers relied too much on the strength of Will’s great yelling without giving him any actual good dialogue.
— Several parts of this cold opening feel too dead for a Hardball sketch. Honestly, I’m not sorry to see this sketch go away for a while after this installment. Lately, this sketch has been in need of a shakeup, so I’m happy that the next two installments are so different from what these Hardball sketches usually are.
— I like that they let Will’s Zell Miller say “Live from New York…” this time, as his typical shouting is perfect for a LFNY instead of Darrell’s typical boring-ass low-energy LFNYs as Chris Matthews in these Hardball cold openings.
STARS: **½
OPENING MONTAGE
— Kristen Wiig has been added to the cast.
— Around this point of the season, SNL has begun a very short-lived experiment in which they have Don Pardo tape his announcements from home, typically only recording the announcements of each week’s musical guest and host while SNL uses stock audio of Don announcing the cast (this short-lived experiment would go on to become a regular thing starting in season 36 and would last for the rest of Don’s life). That’s VERY noticeable tonight, because when announcing Kristen Wiig, who happens to be the last cast member seen in this opening montage and is a cast member who’s name SNL obviously didn’t already have stock audio of Don announcing since this is her first episode, Don’s voice abruptly changes to a COMPLETELY different pitch and COMPLETELY different energy (very low enthusiasm), and it remains that way for the rest of tonight’s montage when he’s announcing the musical guest and host. The difference in Don’s pitch and energy is jarring. SNL would fix this in the following episode by having Don tape a new announcement of Kristen Wiig’s name that matches the pitch and energy of his stock audio announcements of the rest of the cast.
MONOLOGUE
host goes skateboarding with FRA, ANS, KET, FIM, HOS, LOM in NYC
— Some decent laughs from the cast’s various skateboarding mishaps, even if the gags seem very basic and simplistic.
— A predictable but funny gag with “Lorne” (obviously a stunt double) skateboarding expertly.
STARS: ***
J.J. CASUALS
laid-back Jack Johnson’s (ANS) J.J. Casuals are shoes that look like feet
— A dumb premise, but it’s actually working very well. There’s a silly charm to this that I love, and Andy Samberg (the king of silly charm) is perfect for this.
— Catchy commercial jingle.
STARS: ****
GOOD MORNING METH
hyper methamphetamine addicts’ TV show runs all day
— Is that Amy and Will singing the theme music?
— Right out of the gate, Jason Lee’s performance as an overeager, shaky, strung-out meth addict is cracking me up.
— Fantastic look for Amy’s meth addict character.
— Kenan’s wearing a wig that strongly resembles his hair on the Nickelodeon series Kenan & Kel.
— Lots of very fun performances and silly lines all throughout this sketch.
— Bill is wearing the same sweater that Chris Farley wore in the How Much Ya Bench sketch from the Emilio Estevez episode in season 19 (side-by-side comparison below).
— Bill’s delivery of “I rule this town!” slayed me.
— Kenan’s delivery of “Bokay” instead of “Okay” (a line previously used in a James Anderson-written Gays In Space sketch, and would also later be somewhat of a staple of James Anderson-written Deep House Dish sketches), and the fact that his character was introduced by Jason Lee as doing meth for “gay reasons”, both make me wonder if James Anderson wrote (or co-wrote) this sketch.
— I don’t understand the ending with the house randomly blowing up, but it made me laugh anyway because it fits the odd nature of this general sketch.
— An overall fun and solid sketch. If this was indeed written (or co-written) by James Anderson, then I find this to be much better than his usual work.
STARS: ****
THE FALCONER
Donald accepts indecent proposal from land developer (host)
— I love Donald’s question to The Falconer (delivered in squawks, of course) about if the massage The Falconer is going to give him will include a “happy ending”.
— In a gaffe, Lee mistakenly calls The Falconer “dickhead” instead of “dickweed”, then mutters a cut-off “Shit” under his breath when realizing his mistake, then corrects himself by awkwardly saying “di– dickweed”. Will then makes a fantastic ad-lib: “First of all, ask any of my friends and they will tell you I am neither dickweed nor dickhead.”
— A very funny Indecent Proposal turn this sketch takes.
— The nasty lovemaking montage between Lee and Donald is absolutely priceless, making this Falconer sketch even better than typical installments, which is certainly saying something.
STARS: *****
THOMAS & DOBBINS
Thomas & Dobbins offers flimsy money management for low income brackets
— Nice to see the underused Finesse playing a commercial spokesman for once.
— I love the random detail of Amy’s character having the name Kim Barefoot. Between the J.J. Casuals commercial (which included Amy as one of the shoe wearers), Amy being barefoot in the Good Morning Meth sketch, and now Amy’s character in this commercial having the last name Barefoot, there’s definitely some kind of theme going on in tonight’s episode.
— A funny passing mention from Amy of “the Beanie Baby crash of 1996”.
— An overall okay commercial.
STARS: ***
THE SOAKING WET KILLER
too-helpful couple (JAS) & (KRW) naively abets escaped murderer (host)
— Right out of the gate in her very first appearance, Kristen Wiig is coming off strangely comforting in her very convincing performance as a typical corny suburban housewife, and she seems very comfortable. Already a very promising sign from her. You’d never guess this is her very first SNL appearance. I remember one online SNL fan, back when this episode originally aired, made a prediction based on Kristen’s performances in tonight’s episode that Kristen will be a Julia Sweeney-type cast member. That certainly feels odd to look back on, given how we now know Kristen’s SNL tenure would turn out.
— I like how Kristen’s very first appearance has her paired with the also-somewhat-new Sudeikis, and how they’re the only two SNL cast members in this. I recall an online SNL fan back at this time (not the same online SNL fan mentioned above) asking in a very puzzled manner “Who the hell were those two cast members in the Soaking Wet Killer sketch???”
— A lot of laughs from Kristen and Sudeikis naively giving who they don’t know is the Soaking Wet Killer access to so many things they shouldn’t.
— Great twist at the end with the dangerous things Kristen and Sudeikis realized they forgot to tell the Soaking Wet Killer he will have to face at their home.
— An overall very solid little sketch that’s probably forgotten by most SNL fans.
STARS: ****½
REFURBISHMENTS
caulk expert’s (host) tips are penis double entendres
— Speaking of sketches that are forgotten, here’s what seems to be the most forgotten of SNL’s trilogy of dirty wordplay sketches from the early-mid 2000s (Colonel Angus, Cork Soakers, and this). Regardless of where you stand on how good or not the Colonel Angus and Cork Soakers sketches are, you KNOW those sketches. Chances are, you’ve forgotten this Refurbishments sketch, or were never aware of the sketch to begin with.
— Chris’ delivery is great, and is elevating the tepid material.
— At least this overall sketch was somewhat short. Otherwise, it’s easy to understand why this is the forgotten one of SNL’s trilogy of early-mid 2000s dirty wordplay sketches.
STARS: **
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “DOA”
WEEKEND UPDATE
riots lead French government officials (FRA) & (BIH) to surrender
Donovan McNabb’s (FIM) mother (KET) wants Terrell Owens to rejoin Eagles
TIF & AMP use dolls for cheerleader toilet tryst Girl On Girl Reenactment
newly-elected 18 year-old mayor (ANS) envisions puerile self-serving laws
— For some reason, it still bugs me how Tina and Amy’s Update suits this season don’t match colors.
— Bill’s aghast, French-accented delivery of the line “They are scum” is freakin’ HILARIOUS.
— For the second episode in a row, Bill and Fred make a great pair of foreign-accented people.
— OHHHHH, GOD. The return of Tina doing a self-indulgent Arnold Schwarzenegger impression during a joke about him. Ugh, I’ve gotten so tired of that routine of hers in the past.
— Okay, it turns out I actually chuckled at Tina’s Schwarzenegger voice bit tonight. Maybe it’s because we’ve gotten a slightly long break from the last time Tina did it.
— I remember how excited online SNL fans were earlier the week of this episode to see how SNL was going to parody the big Terrell Owens scandal going on at the time, and the press conference Owens and his infamous lawyer (the latter of whom I doubt anyone but me remembers anymore after all these years) gave that was ripe for parody. Those online SNL fans speculated who would play who, with Finesse likely playing Owens and Bill likely playing Owens’ infamous lawyer. Boy, did those SNL fans (and me) end up being disappointed when it turned out that SNL’s only way of “spoofing” the Owens incident would be by simply doing yet another “Donovan McNabb and his mother” Update commentary instead of doing a direct Terrell Owens parody. Blah.
— Kenan In A Dress alert.
— Last time Kenan played Donovan McNabb’s mother on Update, it was stated that her first name is Charlyne. Now in tonight’s appearance, her first name is Wilma. What’s up with that?
— Hmm, a Marion Barry Update joke from Tina? Ha, I wonder if the punchline is going to involve crack.
— Nope, the Marion Barry joke turned out to have a completely different punchline. Probably a good thing, as Tina ain’t no Norm and couldn’t pull off a “Marion Barry smokes crack” joke as well as Norm…at least not by this point of Tina’s tenure. Maybe 2000-2002 Tina could’ve pulled it off. You know, back in the days when Tina was actually good at Update.
— OH FUCKING NO. Not the return of Tina and Amy’s routine of using freakin’ Barbie dolls to re-enact a news story. Ugh.
— Oh, are you fucking kidding me?!? Even during this stupid-ass Barbies segment, Tina takes the time to shoehorn in one of her patented unfunny anti-Bush-esque rants that feel more like an excuse for her to push her political views on us without any actual funny material to back it up.
— A very fitting use of Andy in this teenage mayor role.
— A laugh from Andy’s line about practicing “non-voluntary abstinence”.
— Man, so many of Tina and Amy’s jokes tonight aren’t eliciting so much as a mere smirk from me. Tonight’s Update jokes are such sorry excuses for comedy. And unfortunately, much like the last Update, this Update is super-long and never-ending.
STARS: *½
BUTT PREGNANCY
at her baby shower, butt-pregnant (AMP) downplays ass-womb implications
— Boy, it feels weird seeing and hearing Kristen with the rest of the already-established female cast for the first time, especially after her only prior SNL appearance had her performing with just a fellow newbie and the host. It probably feels weird for me because Kristen is the first new female cast member in FOUR YEARS and this had been such a tight-knit female cast.
— Blah, not crazy about this premise of a butt pregnancy, and apparently, neither is the audience, judging from their mild reactions.
— After Lee says, in regards to Amy being butt-pregnant, “We weren’t even trying to get pregnant”, I love Chris responding with a deadpan “Obviously.”
— A thin sketch and not all that funny.
— Chris’ various deadpan one-liners continue to be the only big amusement I’m getting out of this.
— An okay twist at the end with the baby who Amy’s butt-pregnant with turning out to be SNL’s own Will Forte, who the camera then cuts to gleefully waving at us on the home base stage. This continues the trend these past few episodes of sketches being based on cast members’ mothers, though this particular case is obviously not based in reality. Also, this sketch’s twist ending with Will reminds me of the ending of the famous Bad Expectant Mother sketch with Victoria Jackson, where we find out Victoria’s character was Jon Lovitz’s mother back when she was pregnant with him.
— This mostly tepid sketch would later be removed from reruns and be replaced with a cut-after-dress-rehearsal musical sketch in which office employees sing about their love of desserts while they’re in an office cafeteria.
STARS: **
‘STACHIN’
mustached (SEM), (host), (RAD), (CHP) endorse facial hair
providing mustache rides is Buford McNulty’s (HOS) family business
— Nice opening title sequence.
— Seth makes his first appearance ALL NIGHT. Much like the Jon Heder episode, I see this is another week this season where Seth’s behind-the-scenes second job as a writing supervisor left him with VERY little airtime on the show.
— Good idea for a sketch in tonight’s episode, given Lee’s epic real-life mustache.
— I love the ridiculous photos of Fred, Bill, and Will as mustached 70s porn stars.
— Funny bit with Rachel repeatedly being so innocently oblivious to her own mustache when the others call it out.
— Oh, god. In typical Horatio Sanz fashion, he starts cracking up early on in his mid-sketch commercial, due to accidentally saying his last name as “McNutly” instead of “McNulty”. Because, as we all know, simply saying “McNutly” instead of “McNulty” is a perfectly reasonable excuse for a PAID SKETCH COMEDY PROFESSIONAL and GROWN-ASS MAN to helplessly giggle like an idiot for the rest of the sketch.[/end sarcasm]
— Sudeikis’ mere sleazy look while he and Andy are standing alongside Horatio is very funny.
— Ha, I hate to admit it after I just bitched about Horatio’s laughing, but Horatio’s laughing during his fake freeze-frame at the end of his song actually made me laugh out loud. It was something about the way he exclaimed the last few words of his song (“…so wouldn’t you feel better RIDIN’ ON A MUSTACHE!!!”) while he was cracking up that got me.
— Great bit with Chris explaining his Hitler mustache. I especially love his nonchalant reveal of “I was burning down a synagogue.”
STARS: ***½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Best Of You”
AMERICAN TASER
American Taser’s stun guns facilitate arms race amongst zap-happy populace
— I absolute LOVE the format of this, with each cast member coming on one-by-one to advertise a special taser, only to get tased out of the scene by the next cast member. I also love how each cast member’s individual taser advertisement counters what the cast member before them was advertising with their own taser.
— A particularly funny line from Seth about knocking a problem on its ass, with him sleazily clarifying “By problem, I mean lady, and by ass….I mean ass.”
— This already-great sketch is getting increasingly fun as it goes along. I also love how, a while into this sketch, each cast member who gets tased responds by saying their own individual funny-sounding pained yelp.
— Back when this episode originally aired and I wasn’t very familiar with Bill, given the fact that this was only his fifth episode, I was absolutely STRUCK by how much he sounded like Dan Aykroyd in this. I even wondered if he was intentionally doing a subtle Aykroyd homage with his characterization here. 15 years later, now that I’m VERY familiar with Bill as a performer, I don’t see the Aykroyd similarities in his character voice in this sketch quite as much anymore, but it’s still there a little.
— Jason Lee’s bit at the end where he tased himself deserved a better audience reaction.
— Overall, this sketch is a personal favorite of mine.
STARS: *****
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very solid episode. While certainly not without its flaws, this episode had A LOT of stuff that worked, and quite a number of those things that worked were particularly strong, two of which are all-time favorites of mine (The Falconer, American Taser). Much like the Jon Heder episode earlier this season, the solid and fun sketch concepts seen throughout this episode symbolize how much SNL’s writing has done such a much-needed turnaround from the dire season 30.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Lance Armstrong)
a big step up
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Eva Longoria