Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
THE TREE RE-LIGHTING
a choir sings holiday songs from which all religion has been excised
— Only one episode after Kristen debuted her big Megan Mullally impression that stole the Spammies sketch, and SNL has already brought it back.
— Kenan’s decision to play Al Roker with a Bullwinkle voice is certainly………..a choice.
— A good way to get the entire cast involved and to get mileage out of the insanely large size of this season’s cast. The full cast being involved gives this cold opening an epic feel that I love.
— All the bowdlerized versions of classic Christmas songs are providing some really good laughs for me. I particularly like how the lyric “sleep in heavenly peace” from the song “Silent Night” has been changed to “sleep in comfortable beds”.
— Ha, the return of Will’s high-pitched singing voice! Nice to SNL utilize it outside of the Patrick & Gunther Kelly commentaries from Weekend Update for once.
— The scene with Darrell’s Trump doesn’t feel necessary and is basically just rehashing jokes from his Promo Shoot sketches from the preceding season, but it’s still giving me some laughs, probably just because this cold opening has put me in such a good mood.
— A fun full-cast “Live from New York…” at the end (back in the days when it was rare to get a big group LFNY, which certainly can’t be said for more modern SNL seasons). Kristen has impressively gotten her very first LFNY in only her third episode as a featured player, though it’s not a solo LFNY. This is also surprisingly Fred’s very first LFNY, four years into his SNL tenure. Even more surprising, he wouldn’t get his first solo LFNY until 2008!
STARS: ****
MONOLOGUE
host does stand-up about a variety of topics
— Boy, loudness right out of the gate from Dane Cook in this monologue. I’m INSTANTLY being reminded of all of Dane Cook’s trademarks that would eventually be shoved down our throats in the year 2006. I’ve seen some people say SNL is to blame for the overexposure of Dane in the year 2006, because when they got him to host tonight’s episode in late 2005, he was still somewhat unknown to general America, then shortly after this episode, he gradually became HUGE over the course of the year 2006, to the degree that he would be big enough to host SNL’s season 32 premiere that year (less than a year after tonight’s episode), but he also became huge to the degree that most of America (including myself) would get EXTREMELY sick of him that year, not just because of how overexposed and over-hyped he was, but also partly because of his one-note and rather annoying loud, physical, overly-big performance style in his stand-up (in other words, loudness and broadness without actually being funny, as many people have described Dane’s stand-up), and also partly because of him getting exposed by other stand-up comedians for allegedly plagiarizing their material.
— This monologue is going to feel weird to watch back now, as I cannot remember the last time I’ve seen a Dane Cook stand-up set, or seen Dane Cook in general. Even just hearing his distinctive voice in my current viewing of this monologue is throwing me right back to the mid-2000s.
— A lot of relatable stand-up comedy here, but I can’t say I’m finding most of it particularly funny, and, again, there’s just something inherently annoying about Dane’s stand-up delivery.
— Dane, to us viewers, regarding his choice to use rock-and-roll air quotes: “You can use it, ’cause I know you’re gonna steal it anyway.” Oh, the delicious irony of Dane Cook accusing someone of stealing material from him…
— I did get a good laugh from Dane’s bit about shooting a Superman shirt-wearing person in the chest.
— Dane seems to have a bad habit of using a lispy voice whenever he acts out the voice of an average joe character. He’s used it for two completely different characters in two completely different comedy bits during this monologue.
— Despite my annoyance over Dane’s typical stand-up style, as well as some jokes that made me kinda groan, there’s some laughs here and there.
— Some more laughs, from Dane now going into heavy detail of a perfect erection he once had.
— Oh, there’s what’s easily the most remembered part of this monologue: Dane’s bit about flicking a cashew off of his “hog” into his mouth. I remember back when this episode originally aired, an online SNL fan who was seemingly appalled by this portion of the monologue made a prediction that it would result in NBC receiving a huge number of complaints comparable to the huge number of complaints Martin Lawrence’s notorious feminine hygiene rant from his season 19 stand-up monologue received, and that this would cause Dane’s monologue to go on to live in Martin Lawrence-esque SNL infamy. Ha, boy, was that person off in that prediction. I mean, really, are you SERIOUSLY going to compare Dane Cook doing a somewhat-raunchy-but-harmless bit in the year 2005 (which was quite lax about what could be allowed on network TV) about flicking cashews off of dongs to Martin Lawrence ranting inappropriately in the year 1994 (which was much more strict about what could be allowed on network TV) about freakin’ yeast infections and how nasty women smell “down there” when they don’t douche properly? I will say, though, that Dane’s choice of the word “hog” as a euphemism for penis kinda reminds me of Martin’s questionable choice of saying “pillypacker” as a penis euphemism in his monologue, though Dane seems far more self-aware of the silliness of his own word choice.
— Wow, an overall VERY long stand-up monologue. It’s too bad I’ve soured on Dane the year after this episode originally aired, because I remember finding this monologue to be an absolute laugh riot when it originally aired, back when Dane was still in my good graces. Like I said, though, even during my current viewing, despite my annoyance during several portions, I still found this monologue to have some laughs here and there.
STARS: **½
THE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS
high school drama club members perform theatrical morning announcements
— I love the intro that Chris does at the beginning of this.
— Very fun sketch concept and another good way to get most of this very large SNL cast involved.
— There goes Dane using the lispy character voice once again tonight.
— Much like in the then-recent Good Morning Meth sketch, Kenan is wearing a wig that resembles his “Kenan & Kel”-era hairstyle.
— I love the bit with drama club members acting out a teacher slipping and injuring herself. I particularly got a good laugh from the guys saying “Ohhhhhhhh, and…CRACK!” Also, the ending with Kristen (acting as the teacher) alone onstage, humorously speaking over-dramatically into the camera while lying injured on the floor kinda reminds me of a one-off sketch Kate McKinnon would later do in more recent years, in which she plays a teacher who is dramatically lying on the floor in front of her class after having fallen down (which I recall some online SNL fans saying felt like a bad Wiig sketch).
— Fred’s pretentious one-man show bit on school gossip is freakin’ slaying me. Fred is SO good at mocking this kind of stuff.
STARS: ****
TACO TOWN
Rerun from 10/8/05
THE LONG RIDE HOME: THE JAY FEELY STORY
failed kicker Jay Feely (host) tries to land New York Giants’ team plane
— A very heavily topical sketch, but Darrell’s voice-over in the opening intro is thankfully providing us the backstory of the Jay Feely/NY Giants game incident this sketch is spoofing. Otherwise, I would’ve had absolutely no context for this, not just now, but even back when this sketch originally aired in 2005, as I didn’t follow sports back in those days.
— I love Kenan pointing out the irony of Dane’s Jay Feely having to navigate the plane between two radio towers.
— Jason’s drinking gesture was funny and deserved a better audience reaction.
— I like the turn with Dane, when alone in the cockpit, admitting he lied when telling others he has a pilot’s license.
— I liked the ending with the use of tiny model toys representing the plane being driven into a lake, because, as I said in my review of the preceding season’s UPS Guy sketch with David Spade, I’m often a sucker for SNL using cheap-looking tiny model toys to represent something happening.
STARS: ***
TURTLENECK
at a party, overheated (host) won’t doff expensive & itchy wool sweater
— This sketch had gotten cut after several dress rehearsals earlier this season, with hosts Steve Carell and Jon Heder playing the role that Dane’s playing here. (Can’t remember if I ever heard Jason Lee also did this sketch in the dress rehearsal of his then-recent episode.)
— This is a sketch where Dane’s typical overacting and overly broad style actually fits the material perfectly, and complements it instead of detracts from it. He’s taking a very simplistic sketch premise and is making it work.
— There goes poor Andy being stuck in his usual non-speaking bit role.
— Dane, regarding his itchy, unbearable wool sweater: “It’s like I’m being raped by a wookie!”
— A fantastic ad-lib from Dane where, after failing to crash through the breakaway table like he was supposed to when he laid on it, he gets off the table and then literally throws his whole body backwards into the air and onto the table, successfully crashing through it.
— A terrible and baffling ending with Amy reacting to seeing Dane’s sweater by just saying a quiet “Ewwww.” What the hell kind of ending was that?!? The dress rehearsal version of this sketch had a different ending line from Amy when reacting to seeing Dane’s sweater: “That sweater makes you look like a homo.” Uh, yikes. Guess Amy’s “Ewwww” line from the live version is certainly preferable to…THAT.
— I recall someone on an SNL message board once say Dane claimed in an interview that a mishap occurred during a rehearsal of this sketch, in which a piece of lint from Dane’s wool sweater accidentally flew into his mouth and got caught in his throat, and SNL had to temporarily stop the rehearsal of the sketch to feed Dane dry toast to help him swallow the lint. Not that I want to accuse Dane of lying about that story (certainly wouldn’t be the first time Dane would be accused of being dishonest about something, as I mentioned earlier in this review regarding his alleged joke-plagiarizing), but something about that story has always sounded odd and dubious to me. Why was he fed dry toast, of all things? Is that something that’s typically used to remedy sweater lint stuck in someone’s throat? Does simple water not do the trick? Or even just regular non-toasted bread? Am I supposed to believe SNL seriously made this man wait several minutes with lint stuck in his freakin’ throat while someone at the show took the several minutes required to make toast to help him? Or did already-made dry toast just happen to instantly be available, randomly lying around the studio? Perhaps a crew member had been eating toast? Or was the dry toast on the snack table of this sketch’s set (the same table Dane crashed through)? Why would dry toast be on the snack table of this sketch set? Is dry toast something that’s typically served as a snack at Christmas parties (which is where this sketch takes place at)? Haha, I am thinking WAAAAAYYYY too hard about this, but I want answers, dammit! But no, seriously, if Dane’s story is true, then my guess is that the dry toast he was given simply came from a crew member who was eating in the studio, or maybe from the craft service table backstage. Just one more question, though: did this incident happen at dress rehearsal in front of a studio audience who got to witness this ordeal, or was it during one of the audience-less rehearsals from earlier that week? Either way, thank god the incident didn’t happen during the live show.
STARS: ****
LETTUCE
heads of lettuce constitute comfort food as (WLF) consoles grieving (ANS)
— We have reached a huge moment in SNL history, as a very important SNL feature is born: the very first Lonely Island-made Digital Short (I see SNL’s possibly borrowing the “digital short” name from Adam McKay’s little-known short films from season 26). SNL would never be the same again.
— Even just seeing the words “An SNL Digital Short” in those now-famous white letters (the same font as the SNL logo at this time) on that now-famous black screen for the very first time in this SNL project of mine feels so significant and has practically given me goosebumps.
— A short film starring himself and made by he and his Lonely Island partners is just the thing Andy needed by this point of his tenure, given his bad struggles for airtime lately. While this wouldn’t be his breakout moment (that would come in the very next Digital Short two episodes from now), it at least put Andy out there and let viewers know that SNL may have possibly found a regular format to tap into Andy’s underutilized potential. However, nobody watching this particular short back in 2005 could’ve possibly predicted just how huge Digital Shorts and Andy’s SNL tenure would both go on to become.
— A huge laugh from the initial visual of Will very randomly and unexpectedly lifting a cabbage head into the shot and chomping very hard and loudly into it while staring at Andy with a serious, concerned look on his face.
— Both Will and Andy ferociously chomping into lettuce heads throughout their emotional, dramatic conversation is priceless. And I have such fond memories of how much I howled with laughter the very first time I watched this short back when it originally aired, so much so, that someone I was at home with came into the room I was watching this short by myself in to make sure I was alright after he heard me making loud, bizarre sounds, and I had to clarify that I was just laughing very hard.
— Will is showing surprisingly solid dramatic acting chops here. Also, the natural stubble on his face during this short is somehow adding to that dramatic acting of his.
— Great little touch at the end with Jorma Taccone casually passing by the camera while chomping on lettuce of his own.
— A very funny “Through good times and bad: lettuce” twist at the end, capping off what was an overall very strong start to the Lonely Island’s Digital Short legacy on SNL.
STARS: ****½
TARGET
Target Lady (KRW) abandons cash register to secure bargains for herself
— Ladies and gentlemen, we have a major recurring character debut!
— Kristen gets her very first big character piece.
— Well…I can’t say I’m finding this Target Lady character all that funny so far in this debut, but there’s something about Kristen’s character voice that I’m actually kinda liking so far. Now being so familiar with Kristen’s real voice, it’s quite impressive how she can get her voice to sound like that when playing Target Lady.
— I don’t know what the hell to think of Dane’s performance in this sketch, but I’m pretty sure I kinda hate it. However, we at least get a funny “weird moment” between him and Rachel while they’re awkwardly waiting for Target Lady to return.
— Blah, I don’t care AT ALL for the running gag with Target Lady always walking away to get an item after asking a customer “Do we have more of these?”
— Bill’s straight man reactions to Dane are making me laugh.
— Overall, not all that great, but if this sketch had remained a one-off and never became recurring, I would look back at it today as a not-particularly-funny-but-harmless early-era Kristen Wiig showcase, and thus, this sketch would’ve been pretty fascinating in retrospect as Kristen’s forgotten first big character piece. Unfortunately, the sketch DIDN’T end up being a forgotten early-era Wiig one-off. It would instead go on to famously be recurred many times and would draw my ire, which diminishes this debut installment for me (not that I would’ve found it great otherwise). The original review I did back in 2005 when this episode originally aired is unfortunately missing (as are all my other original 2005 episode reviews from the first half of this season), which is a shame, because I’d love to see what my original assessment of this debut Target Lady installment was back then, when I wasn’t familiar with it as a recurring sketch yet. From what I can VERY faintly remember of my original review of this sketch, I think I recall liking Kristen and Dane’s oddball characterizations, but strongly disliking the material itself, and feeling it felt too much like a MADtv character piece. (Yet another example of me seeing similarities between Kristen Wiig and Mo Collins.)
STARS: **
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “You’re Beautiful”
WEEKEND UPDATE
RAD’s behavior changed while wearing a fat suit for undercover experiment
Michael Irvin (KET) unconvincingly pleads innocence regarding crack pipe
— Oh, no. Amy is laying on her typical Update cutesy act PARTICULARLY thick during her “Page Six” joke. I’m pretty sure it gave me diabetes.
— Very interesting pre-taped bit with Rachel going out in the town undercover as a fat woman.
— I love the visual of Fat Suit Rachel running around the streets while screaming to random people “I’M HUUUUMAAAAAN! I’M HUUUUUUMAAAAAN LIKE YOU!”
— An obvious joke with black guys being the only people giving positive attention to Fat Suit Rachel, but I laughed when J.B. Smoove got involved.
— A good laugh from the Monday Night Countdown clip, which is supposed to prove Kenan-as-Michael-Irvin’s innocence in regards to accusations of him using drugs, but instead turns out to be him in a crazed state fighting off his co-hosts while holding onto a seemingly stolen TV set and yelling things like “Let go of me, Chris Berman!” and “This is my TV, Stuart Scott!”
— Amy’s “The Rockefeller Christmas Tree was lit…as was I” is one of her more famous Update jokes.
STARS: **
ONE-DAY COMA
after his 24-hour coma, (host) finds that girlfriend (AMP) has moved on
— I recall some online SNL fans hating this sketch, but I recall personally really liking it back when it originally aired. I also recall some online SNL fans claiming SNL stole this sketch from another sketch comedy show (I can’t remember which one; Mr. Show maybe?). Either way, it’ll be interesting to see how I’ll react to this sketch now, given how hot-and-cold I’ve been running on Dane so far during my current viewing of this episode.
— A lot of hilarious reveals throughout this sketch. I particularly like Amy letting Dane know she took the time to go to Great Adventure at one point during his day-long coma, and Chris as the doctor saying he medically induced Dane’s coma because Dane was rude to the nurses. I also love Chris sternly saying, shortly afterwards when Dane gets angry at him, “Keep up that attitude and you’ll be right back in that coma.”
— Dane’s delivery is starting to somewhat hamper this solidly-written sketch for me during his big rant near the end. His delivery in this sketch didn’t bother me before this rant of his, but he’s now starting to get on my nerves a bit, and I’m now finding myself wondering what it would’ve been like if another male host from around this time played Dane’s role in this sketch. Jason Lee, for example, would’ve been solid in this sketch. I can see Steve Carell and Jack Black (the latter of whom is hosting two episodes from now) working decently in it too. Jon Heder? Meh. I can see him overacting this sketch’s material almost as badly as Dane is. Lance Armstrong? Don’t make me laugh. And if it were a cast member who had played Dane’s role, Sudeikis would’ve fit this sketch like a glove.
STARS: ***½
FIGHT BACK WITH VICTOR RAMOS
inept vigilante Victor Ramos (HOS) scouts subway terrorism
— Oh, no. An original Horatio Sanz sketch at this point of his SNL tenure. This spells doom.
— Ugh. There goes Dane using a lispy character voice ONCE AGAIN tonight. Are you fucking kidding me?!?
— A laugh from Horatio’s character’s initial mispronunciation of the name Saunders as “Squanjack”. That also reminds me of a sketch where Horatio himself played a character on the receiving end of having an easy-to-pronounce last name repeatedly get bizarrely butchered: the Taint sketch from season 26’s Conan O’Brien episode.
— Did I just hear Horatio say “Well, let me show you a little planet Jeremy and I have come up with…” when talking about a plan he and Jeremy (Dane’s character) have come up with? I doubt that flub was part of the script, as it seemed way too subtle, though the flub does kinda fit Horatio’s character here.
— Not caring at all for most of the humor in this sketch, and the unbearable character voice Dane’s using isn’t making it any better. At least Horatio isn’t the worst part of a Horatio Sanz-starring sketch for once, though.
— They’re running the “Squanjack” joke into the ground.
— At least, unlike Target Lady, THIS ends up remaining a one-off sketch and never becomes recurring.
STARS: **
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Goodbye My Lover”
MORGAN STANLEY
— Not only is this the fourth time this commercial has been aired in just the first half of this season alone (which has GOT to be a record), but this is the second consecutive episode it’s being re-aired in (which has also got to be a record, as possibly the only time in SNL history that an already-aired pre-taped commercial was re-aired in two consecutive episodes). It’s gotten to the point where I can now quote this entire commercial by heart. (“You’ve really done it this time, Ashley. Smoking pot in school? That’s gonna look great on–” etc.)
GOODNIGHTS
— Chris is noticeably seen wearing rather silly-looking workout clothes (near the left corner of the second above screencap for these goodnights). This outfit he’s wearing was supposed to be for some kind of exercise class sketch (I can’t remember the premise of it, from a description of this episode’s cut sketches I once read years ago) that was scheduled to air at the end of this episode, but got cut at the last minute due to the show running long (which I guess explains the bazillionth rerun of the Morgan Stanley ad put on at the last minute at the end of the show, but why not repeat another commercial instead?).
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A fairly solid episode with several really good highs, and there were a few noteworthy firsts, particularly the very first Lonely Island-made SNL Digital Short. Dane Cook had a few good moments here and there tonight (particularly in the Turtleneck sketch), but his trademark comedic style hampered a number of things for me, and he seemed to get particularly bad towards the end of the show.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Eva Longoria)
a step up
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Alec Baldwin