Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
SANTA CHENEY
Dick Cheney (DAH) plays Santa to kids’ politically-convenient requests
— A memorable opening image of Darrell’s Dick Cheney pulling down his fake Santa beard and making that trademark Cheney grin at the camera.
— Some laughs from the kids obviously reading off scripted wordy, un-childlike requests as their Christmas wish.
— Good visual of Will’s President Bush sitting on Santa’s lap. Quite Will Ferrell-esque.
— Some funny political satire from Will-as-Bush’s line comparing the recalling of defective Xbox 360s to his refusing to recall his defective policy in Iraq.
STARS: ***
MONOLOGUE
host sings his King Kong song, which didn’t make it into the movie
— I see we’re getting a typical fun Jack Black musical number.
— The lyrics of this King Kong song are fantastic and hilarious, and the melody is epic.
STARS: ****½
STUART LITTLE MOUSE REMOVAL KIT
Stuart Little Mouse Removal Kit tempts rodents to drive out of your house
— An amusing and creative concept for a mouse trap commercial.
— Lots of great and fun little details to the extensive Stuart Little mouse trap.
— A very good ending with the mouse car unexpectedly blowing up after it leaves the house.
STARS: ****½
THE WIND
at Sbarro, shoppers suffer gusts of cold wind due to near-to-door table
— I recall a few online SNL fans back at this time in 2005 unfavorably comparing this sketch to the notorious Hot Plates sketch from the preceding season. I’ve personally never considered this sketch to be as bad as Hot Plates, but we’ll see during this current viewing of mine.
— Fred’s hobo character angrily hissing at Jack cracked me up.
— A good aggressive “SON OF A BITCH!” delivery from Rachel, who’s apparently channeling the spirit of Chris Farley.
— I’m not caring too much for the wind gags, though the execution of this is still coming off more enjoyable and much less cringeworthingly corny than the dreaded Hot Plates. The performances from Jack and the cast are also helping made this sketch a little fun.
— Funny lines from a shaken-up Kenan right before his exit.
— They botched the gag where a dummy of Rachel is supposed to drop from above after the wind blows Rachel high up in the air. Not sure what exactly went wrong with the gag, but after it got botched, Rachel can be seen walking over a dummy of herself lying on the floor (on the right corner of the below screencap), a dummy that was never seen before in the sketch, all the while Amy is genuinely laughing her ass off at this blooper.
SNL would later show the dress rehearsal version of this sketch in reruns, in which the Rachel’s-dummy-falling-from-above gag is executed properly, complete with a comical loud “thud” sound effect when Rachel’s falling dummy lands on the floor.
— The “Happy Holidays From The Weather Channel” twist ending felt unnecessary. SNL sometimes has a bad habit of throwing in that type of dumb twist ending in sketches.
STARS: **½
APPALACHIAN EMERGENCY ROOM
(musical guest) & Johnny Knoxville [real] ail
— Amy’s usual “And now, another episode of Appalachian Emergency Room” opening voice-over in these sketches has been updated in tonight’s installment to include her following up her afore-quoted intro line with a cheery utterance of “Christmastime!”, which strangely amused me, for some reason.
— Great walk-on from Neil Young as Amy and Darrell’s druggie son, who they’ve often mentioned in past installments of this sketch.
— Amy’s character in this recurring sketch always delivers her exit line in a very funny manner while walking away, but we get a particularly hilarious delivery from her during her exit in tonight’s installment.
— Ha, did I just hear Seth say “Tiny Nations” as one of the two names he called out for Jason and Bill’s characters?
— Pretty solid bit with the the huge jart stuck in Jason’s head.
— A hilarious dirty gag with the watermelon still staying attached to Chris’ crotch after he lets go of it (I also love Seth’s reaction to that), which feels like both a callback to a gag Chris did in Heather Graham’s monologue from season 25 and a precursor to a certain famous Digital Short from the Justin Timberlake-hosted Christmas episode an exact year from tonight’s episode.
— Jack: “I’m your medical ball of clay. MOLD ME.” That is such a perfectly Jack Black-ish line that you’d think he wrote it himself.
— Johnny Knoxville’s cameo as himself as one of the patients is both very funny and strangely very fitting for this sketch. I also love how he implies during his exit that he’s all too familiar with this hospital’s rooms. A perfect way to end what was EASILY the best installment of Appalachian Emergency Room.
STARS: ****
TV FUNHOUSE
“Christmastime For The Jews” by RBS- gentile absence brings opportunities
— Right out of the gate, I’m immediately getting such an epic feel from this cartoon.
— Hilarious subject matter for this well-animated black-and-white stop motion cartoon.
— Not only a very funny song, but it’s strangely beautiful-sounding, no doubt helped by being sung by Darlene Love, who’s being utilized to perfection here.
— A particularly funny bit about Jews going to sleep with Daily Show reruns in their heads.
— Even the closing credits of this are great, with the special Darlene Love-sung Christmas-themed TV Funhouse jingle.
— Overall, a true classic.
— The fact that this cartoon is immediately followed by a live shot of Darlene Love singing with the SNL Band further adds to the epic feel of both this cartoon and this episode in general.
STARS: *****
CHANNEL 5 PHOTO SHOOT
TV news team member (host) points out unfairness at publicity photo shoot
— A very simplistic premise, but it’s being executed decently.
— A laugh from Chris’ pointing towards Jack actually being a thumbs-down.
— Even when playing the simple straight role of a director, Jason is coming off so charismatic and fun here.
STARS: ***
LAZY SUNDAY
CHP & ANS rap about a trip to see The Chronicles Of Narnia
— Ohho, yes. HERE WE GO, FOLKS.
— A hilarious reveal of The Chronicles of Narnia being the movie that Andy and Chris are rapping to each other over the phone about going to see together.
— This is SO wall-to-wall with individual hilarious moments and perfect little details that I cannot even begin to single out my favorite moment. Andy and Chris’ furious hardcore and masterful rapping about such silly, non-hardcore things, the onscreen graphics of objects related to the lyrics, the brief cutaways to Andy and Chris individually staring into the camera while doing cupcake-related things in such a dead-serious style (such as chomping hard into a cupcake, or holding up an open box of cupcakes in a gansta manner), the words “SNACK-ATTACK!” showing up in big onscreen letters as it’s being yelled by Andy and Chris, the stop motion effect of Andy and Chris traveling from one end of the street to the other, the gunshot sound effect at the very end as the camera is pulling back on Andy and Chris…man, this Digital Short is top-to-bottom PERFECTION.
— When this short originally aired, not only was I absolutely amazed at what I was witnessing from this very unexpected piece, but both my face and throat actually hurt from how hard and for how long I was laughing all throughout it. There would be a special moment in another sketch later in this episode that would make my face and throat further hurt from extremely heavy laughter, a special moment that I’ll point out when we arrive there.
— Needless to say, this short would end up being a truly groundbreaking moment for SNL, and a huge turning point in the history of the show. What can be said about how much this absolutely blew up online, back in the days before the idea of an SNL piece going “viral” was even a thing? (Lazy Sunday went SO viral that even people who hadn’t watched SNL in years became aware of the short. I remember this finally made me proud to admit to non-SNL viewers that I was a diehard fan of the show, after the preceding season made me embarrassed to admit that.) What can be said about how this famously put the already-existing-but-not-yet-huge YouTube on the map, which would thus also lead to a trend of average joes on YouTube filming their own recreations of Lazy Sunday? What can be said about the huge press SNL received from this, easily the most press they had gotten in years? What can be said about how this would be such a major turning point for the then-struggling newbie Andy and would lead to him having a hugely popular 7-year tenure on the show. And finally, of course, what can be said about how much this would forever change so many things for SNL, finally bringing them into the virtual age and also leading to them embracing more pre-taped shorts and music video content, which continues to this day?
STARS: *****
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “It’s A Dream”
WEEKEND UPDATE
Skull Island tourism board members (KET) & (TRM) downplay giant fauna
AMP & TIF list icky properties of 15 year-old boys they find irresistible
— Well, here to piss all over the natural high this episode has put me in so far…
— Ha, Tracy Morgan out of nowhere, randomly paired with Kenan in an Update commentary as African tourism board members. There’s actually a backstory to this random casting. Tracy’s role was written for Finesse, and Finesse played it in dress rehearsal, but because Tracy made a backstage visit to SNL sometime that evening before the live show, they wanted to give him a part in the show, so they yanked Finesse from his role in this Update commentary and placed Tracy in it, leaving Finesse with practically NOTHING tonight (more on that later in my review of a certain sketch towards the end of this episode).
— Tracy’s exclamation of “LIES!” in an African accent has me laughing out loud.
— Not only is Kenan noticeably stifling his laughter throughout this commentary whenever Tracy speaks (particularly during one moment where Tracy pauses for an awkwardly long time before delivering a line), but Kenan can also be seen mouthing some of Tracy’s lines. All of this is obviously because Kenan must not have rehearsed this piece with Tracy beforehand, given how Tracy was thrown into the role at the last minute.
— As bad as I feel for the struggling Finesse getting a rare big role yanked away from him at the last minute, I’m trying to imagine what this Update commentary would’ve been like with him and Kenan, and it would’ve been NOTHING. Tracy’s performance and delivery are adding the only real comedy to be found in this whole piece.
— For once, Tina and Amy do an Update piece together that’s actually making me laugh, with the segment in which they lovingly go on and on about the “irresistible” things about 15-year-old boys.
— Boy, I’d love to see how viewers today would react to Amy’s joke about the symbol for transsexual bathrooms.
— An actual fairly short Fey/Poehler Update, thankfully.
STARS: **
A VERY DOWNER CHRISTMAS
young Debbie Downer saps Santa’s (host) jollity when he visits her house
— After the refreshing Steve Carell installment of this sketch earlier this season, we get another much-needed change of pace for Debbie Downer, this time with us seeing her as a little girl on Christmas Eve.
— Oh, I absolutely LOVE the new Grinch-esque Debbie Downer opening title sequence.
— At one point during the aforementioned Grinch-esque opening title sequence, the singing narrator mentions he’d rather have his face shredded by an eel than listen to Debbie Downer. When this episode originally aired, I left on my TV’s closed-captioning, and I noticed that the singing narrator’s aforementioned line in this sketch about “having my face shredded by an eel” was written in the closed-captioning as “having my nards shredded by an eel”. The people who do on-the-fly closed-captioning for live SNL episodes reportedly rely on a script they’re provided of the dress rehearsal versions of sketches, in an attempt to try to keep the live closed-captioning from lagging behind the dialogue too badly. So judging from this odd “nards shredded by an eel” inconsistency in the closed-captioning, I take it SNL changed the line in this sketch from “nards shredded by an eel” to a much more innocent “face shredded by an eel” right before airtime. Why, though? The original line, while naughty, doesn’t seem like something NBC’s censors would come down hard on SNL for in the year 2005. This also reminds me that there was another odd inconsistency in the closed-captioning for this episode: at the beginning of Weekend Update when Tina was delivering the first joke, the captioning for that joke instead captioned a COMPLETELY different joke that was nowhere to be heard from Tina nor Amy at any point in tonight’s Update. Must’ve been a joke that got cut after dress rehearsal. (From what my very faint memory of the captioned joke recalls, the punchline of it involved a mention of someone farting and saying “Smell my democracy”. I kid you not, folks.)
— This sketch is such an improvement over typical Debbie Downer fare. Even Debbie’s typical depressing one-liners are actually making me laugh in tonight’s installment. The fun atmosphere and change of pace are helping this a lot.
— I loved Jack-as-Santa asking a very puzzled “Is that even a thing???” after Debbie says she has juvenile sciatica.
— Funny bit with Jack acting like he’s going to use the cup of scotch to dip his cookie into, only for him to immediately throw the cookie away without eating it and then he downs the cup of scotch.
— They’ve even shaken things up with the usual tired feline AIDS routine, by having Debbie instead mention her cat’s mange.
— Great bit with Santa giving Debbie a calendar of medical oddities as her Christmas gift, which she, of course, is delighted by.
STARS: ****
DESERTED MOON
stranded in space, (host) rebuffs advances of hermaphrodite alien (ANS)
— This is a re-done version of a sketch that Lonely Island originally did in an un-aired FOX pilot around 2004/early 2005, a pilot for a Lonely Island-starring sketch comedy show called (I think) Awesometown, which FOX ended up passing on. The pilot would later be put online. In the Awesometown version of this Deserted Moon sketch, Jorma Taccone played the role that Jack Black is playing in tonight’s version.
— Andy’s stock continues to quickly rise tonight, as he FINALLY gets his very first lead role in a live sketch (unless I’m forgetting something…oh, and Update commentaries and pre-taped commercials don’t count in this case; I’m only talking about live sketches).
— Andy’s voice and delivery throughout this sketch is kinda reminding me of Ashton Kutcher.
— I like the structure of this sketch, with this sketch being divided up into little scenes, each separated by an exterior shot of the planet while a fun outer space-type music sting plays.
— Despite the homoerotic and hermaphrodite aspect of this premise, this sketch thankfully isn’t coming off as the typical hacky and unflattering gay material that dominated the preceding season. I could do without Andy’s decision to play his character with a stereotypical gay lisp, though.
— Funny interplay between Andy and Jack throughout this.
— I particularly like the part with Andy opening the front of his space suit with his back to the camera and Jack reacting in horror to the unseen-to-us monstrosity he’s witnessing.
— Andy’s character, while drunk on Space Wine, ending one scene by drunkenly saying “Space Wine!” to himself is strangely both a very Andy Samberg-esque moment AND a very Ashton Kutcher-esque moment.
— A genuine gaffe from Andy in which, as he tells Jack “I’m all you’ve got!” while pounding his hand on the glass top of the spaceship to emphasize his point, which is supposed to unwittingly fix the broken spaceship, he accidentally dislodges the glass top. Jack makes a fantastic ad-lib in response to this blooper: “You broke it…but you also fixed it!”
— The ending text crawl epilogue is slightly different from the one in the aforementioned original version of this sketch in the Awesometown pilot.
STARS: ***
TWO A-HOLES BUYING A CHRISTMAS TREE
Christmas tree seller (host) fields A-holes’ (JAS) & (KRW) dumb requests
— Our very first Two A-Holes sketch.
— I am loving this characterization from both Jason and Kristen, and we’re getting a great display of both performers’ chemistry with each other.
— So many laughs from so many of the asinine statements from the Two A-Holes. Jack is also portraying his character’s growing frustration towards them very well.
— There’s Finesse’s awkward performance as a hot dog vendor that I mentioned in my review of Weekend Update from this season’s premiere. It turns out he’s not coming off QUITE as awkward and halting in this sketch as I had remembered, but you can still sadly sense a little bit of genuine frustration, disappointment, and dispirited-ness in the poor guy’s performance (and no, it’s not just him acting in character in response to the Two A-Holes’ oddness), presumably not only because his ONLY appearance of the night happens to be in such a small, non-comedic role at the very end of a sketch airing near the very end of an episode that has so many big and soon-to-be-legendary moments that he didn’t get to be a part of, but also because he must’ve been especially bummed that this is all he was left with tonight after his ONE big piece with Kenan on Weekend Update ended up getting re-cast at the last minute, with his role being given to an impromptu special guest.
STARS: ****
SPELLING BEE
spelling bee loser (WLF) inspires song by Tenacious D
— Here comes a well-loved Will Forte masterpiece.
— The VERY soft-spoken voice Will is speaking into the microphone with is freakin’ slaying me.
— After asking Chris’ moderator character for various things like the origin of the word he has to spell, I love Will flat-out asking “Could you spell the word please.” Chris also responds to that with a perfectly deadpan and subtly irritated “No.”
— And there it goes: Will’s absolutely classic and priceless one-minute-long (I’m guesstimating) misspelling of the word “business”, including a portion in which he repeats the letter “q” non-stop for a good while (complete with a perfectly-timed brief break in which he looks upwards in a pensive manner before continuing with the non-stop “q”s). This whole “business” misspelling is not only fucking hilarious, but it’s very impressive and daring on Will’s part, which are just some of the reasons why he’s such an epic performer in general.
— Will’s misspelling of “business” is the moment I was talking about in my Lazy Sunday review when I said this episode had another moment that made both my face and throat hurt so much from laughing so hard for so long when this episode originally aired. In fact, both Lazy Sunday and Will’s misspelling in this Spelling Bee sketch are easily two of the hardest I’ve EVER laughed while watching SNL, and for that reason, I will cherish those two moments forever.
— A perfect follow-up to Will’s epic misspelling, with Chris leaning into the microphone and saying a very dry and deadpan “Wrong.” Though that was just a simple little moment, it was such a good display of Chris’ always-excellent straight man skills.
— I know some people don’t like the turn this sketch takes with this randomly becoming a Tenacious D musical number, but I consider it to be an extra treat from this already-fantastic sketch, even though this sketch would’ve still stood as a classic had it abruptly ended after Chris’ aforementioned deadpan delivery of the line “Wrong.”
— Excellent touch at the end with the camera zooming in on Will’s face as he stares into the camera with a stone-faced, melancholy look (the last above screencap for this sketch).
STARS: *****
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “He Was The King”
GOODNIGHTS
host, TRM, cast members end the show from Rockefeller Center skating rink
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— An all-time classic and important episode in SNL history. So many memorable and legendary pieces in this episode, including one particularly groundbreaking piece (Lazy Sunday). And even a lot of the stuff that’s not considered a classic were strong, including much-better-than-usual installments of Appalachian Emergency Room and Debbie Downer. The whole night also had a magic feel in the air, even during some of the lesser segments of this episode. This fantastic episode, especially the aforementioned way both Lazy Sunday and Will Forte’s one-minute-long misspelling of “business” in the Spelling Bee sketch gave me some of the hardest laughs I’ve EVER gotten from SNL, coupled with the fact that this was the third consecutive episode that I liked this season, made it 100% official to me on the night this episode originally aired that SNL was BACK after the dire three-year slump they were in before this season.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Alec Baldwin)
a step up
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
We enter the year 2006, with future five-timer Scarlett Johansson making her hosting debut