Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
THE GAS PLAN
Bill Frist (host) sells his new gas rebate plan to George W. Bush (WLF)
— Not caring for Will-as-President-Bush’s whole spiel about wishing for May to turn into June. The audience is amused by this tepid comedy far more than I am.
— Ha, I got a huge laugh from Will-as-Bush’s off-color line to Darrell’s Dick Cheney, “That Frist plan went down so fast, it was like YOU shot it in the face.” Darrell’s Cheney also has a very funny facial reaction to that line.
— Great to see Tom Hanks in the cold opening in his long-awaited return as host after a 10-year hiatus.
— Finesse stuck in his typical useless, brief non-speaking role that might as well have been played by an extra. Only two episodes left for Finesse to suffer through the hell of SNL’s awful utilization of him.
— Bill Frist: “Let’s say that a gallon of gas hits $4 a gallon.” President Bush: “Heh, oh, it’s GONNA.”
— This turning into a Magic Mop infomercial is fairly funny, but nothing great and certainly not something I’d call sharp political satire.
— How do you have Tom Hanks still onscreen at the end of a cold opening and NOT have him say “Live from New York…”? Did we really need Will Forte saying LFNY as Bush for the 150th time when Hanks was RIGHT THERE?
STARS: ***
MONOLOGUE
host takes DaVinci Code questions from religious figures in the audience
— I recall someone who used to work at SNL (I forget who) once famously revealed that SNL relies on questions-from-the-audience monologues whenever the writers don’t know what to do with a host for their monologue (if that’s true, then season 19 had A LOT of hosts that the writers didn’t know what to do with). I shudder to think that’s true for this particular episode, because if so, shame on this writing staff. How do you not know what to do with Tom Freakin’ Hanks?
— SNL writer Liz Cackowski continues to be the Sarah Silverman and Paula Pell of this era’s questions-from-the-audience monologues.
— Pretty funny subversion with Fred-as-the-priest’s alleged hard-hitting, stern religion-related question just turning out to be “What’s the deal with your hair?”
— Chris’ passive-aggressive line is very funny.
— Hilarious bit with Bill as an albino monk.
— The Flying Nun bit with Rachel was just dumb and didn’t work for me AT ALL.
— Didn’t care for the drawn-out bit with Darrell as the pope, and it needed a funnier punchline than a mention of Vince Vaughn.
— Very funny initial cutaway to Jason as Jesus, and Jason is always great at milking laughs from the audience without saying a word whenever the camera first cuts to him as a character in a questions-from-the-audience monologue, like in Natalie Portman’s monologue a little earlier this season.
— Jason’s natural resemblance to Kiefer Sutherland is coming off particularly noticeable to me here.
— The whole back-and-forth between Tom and Jason is absolutely fantastic, especially it ending with Tom, after calling Jason out on the gall he has as an SNL newbie to insult both the son of man and Steven Spielberg, sarcastically telling Jason “I’m sure we’ll see you in September.”
STARS: ***
WHEEL OF FORTUNE
dumb contestants (AMP), (FRA), (KRW) can’t solve puzzle
— A thin premise, but the execution isn’t too bad so far, and I like Tom’s performance as the straight man.
— Meh, this is now getting old, and the audience is agreeing with me, judging from their silence during some comedic parts. What is this sketch doing in the lead-off spot?
— Tom-as-Pat-Sajak’s long, frustrated spiel towards the end after he’s given up is great, and deserved to be in a much better sketch.
STARS: **
KAITLIN’S IGUANA
Kaitlin’s enthusiasm about taking care of (host)’s iguana levels off
— It feels odd seeing Horatio, because, once again, I keep forgetting he’s even still in the cast, given how much his airtime has (mercifully) diminished lately.
— This ends up being the final Kaitlin sketch with Horatio’s Rick character. The only remaining Kaitlin sketch appears towards the end of the following season, when Horatio is long gone from SNL.
— I like the suspenseful background music and unique camera angles during the sequence with a fearful Kaitlin having second thoughts about taking care of the iguana.
— Tom’s exit line was pretty funny.
STARS: ***
ARIEL & EFRIM
in their early ’90s music video, (host) & (ANS) fear for their testicles
— When this episode originally aired, I remember it strangely took me halfway through this short to recognize Andy Samberg and Tom Hanks as the two lead singers. Until then, I seriously thought the two lead singers were played by special guests who I wasn’t familiar with. I guess it was something about the way Andy and Tom looked in those bald caps that made me not recognize them.
— So I take it from Liz Cackowski’s appearance in this Digital Short (assuming she hasn’t appeared in a Digital Short prior to this) that she and her future husband Akiva Shaffer have hit it off by this point?
— Maya makes her first appearance in three episodes. Much like Horatio, it’s become easy to forget Maya is even still in the cast by this point.
— The wraparound segments with Chris, Will, and Kenan are very similar to the wraparound segments of a pre-SNL Lonely Island music video called Bing Bong Brothers. Even the ending wraparound segment of both that short and this one feature a character saying “I did NOT like that” in response to the music video that was just shown.
— Overall, this was a fun Right Said Fred take-off, but not quite as strong as I remembered it, and pales a little in comparison to the other Lonely Island music videos that have appeared on SNL prior to this. Still good, though.
STARS: ***½
UNIVERSAL THEME PARK
while in a theme park line, (host) & (FRA) yell at their lost ma (RAD)
— Hoo, boy. I recall this being a WRETCHED sketch.
— Fred appears to be wearing his Tony Danza wig.
— A laugh from Tom, when complaining about E.T. not having called Tom by his name during one ride, dismissively saying “E.T., he’s dead to me.”
— Who the holy fuck at SNL thought a sketch with Fred and Tom yelling “MA!” over and over at the top of their lungs for the entirety of a FIVE-MINUTE SKETCH would be worthy of not only making it to air, and not only making it to air in a TOM HANKS-hosted episode, but airing in the freakin’ pre-Weekend Update half of a Tom Hanks-hosted episode?
— I will admit that Tom’s yelling is actually making me smirk at parts, as awful as this material is. A testament to how terrific Tom Hanks is. Imagine how even worse this sketch would’ve been with a different host.
— The roller coaster bit is kinda funny, I guess.
— Ugh, this sketch is going on and on and on and on and on…
STARS: *½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Dani California”
WEEKEND UPDATE
TIF asks Rosie O’Donnell (HOS) about joining Star Jones on The View
Patrick & Gunther Kelly debate the immigration controversy with a song
— What is that bizarre off-camera noise while Tina is delivering her opening joke? The off-camera noise sounds like a pig squealing. The fuck? I don’t recall any pigs being involved in any of the subsequent sketches in this episode. Am I watching a rerun of Dennis Miller’s Weekend Update from the season 14 Ted Danson episode, where Dennis got interrupted at one point by the off-camera sounds of squealing pigs who were about to appear in the sketch that followed?
— Ugh, the return of Horatio’s Rosie O’Donnell. At least this is the last time we’ll ever see it.
— This Rosie O’Donnell commentary is as insufferable as I expected.
— Didn’t Rosie O’Donnell’s tenure on The View, which tonight’s Update mentions was soon going to start, end up being very short-lived? Not saying this is the sole reason her tenure was short-lived, but I recall her being in the news for some controversy she got into at one point for an Asian stereotype bit she did on The View. (Sounds like the type of thing celebrities would get “canceled” for nowadays.)
— When listing off similarities she has to Star Jones, Horatio’s Rosie ends with “and we both have gay partners”. Not only a lame joke, but Tina goes “Ohhhhh!” in response, as if it was some sick burn, which bugs me, because I’m sure Tina wrote that “sick burn” herself, as she seems obsessed with making fun of Star Jones and did write those View sketches back in the day. If she indeed wrote that “sick burn” that Horatio’s Rosie delivered here about Star having a gay partner, then Tina going “Ohhhhh!” in response is yet ANOTHER example of her patting herself on the back for an “edgy” joke of hers.
— Yikes, the string of Update jokes from Tina and Amy after the Rosie O’Donnell commentary is…just…Jesus Christ, how does stuff like this make it on the air?!? (*sigh*) Only two episodes left until Update gets a bit of a much-needed revamp.
— We haven’t seen the Patrick & Gunther Kelly characters in a fairly long time.
— Even though these Patrick & Gunther Kelly commentaries use the exact same joke every single time, it still works for me, especially after we’ve gotten a fairly long hiatus from these characters. I especially love how, in tonight’s commentary, Will’s musical high-pitched “Yuh”s are being done in time to the complicated background music.
STARS: *½
CLAREMONT YOGA CENTER
in a yoga class, (RAD) is unhappily partnered with sweaty & gross (host)
— A funny character for Tom.
— Liz Cackowski has appeared in THREE sketches tonight. How did SNL not eventually make this woman a cast member? Also, she’s gotten far more airtime tonight than actual cast member Seth Meyers, who is nowhere to be seen in this entire episode. Seth’s decision to decrease his own airtime this season to concentrate more on his new behind-the-scenes job as a head writer has reached a crescendo this week.
— Tom’s “Anus to anus” line was hilarious, as was him then saying, in response to him and Rachel doing the “anus to anus” move, “Boy, this would cost ya 20 bucks in Thailand.”
— Tom’s disturbing stories towards an uncomfortable Rachel are providing lots of laughs.
— Good line from Rachel about trying not to breathe in OR out while a sweaty Tom is hanging above her in a yoga position.
— I love the angry look on Rachel’s face at the end as the camera zooms in on her between Tom’s legs.
STARS: ****
COLIN’S PLACE
Colin Powell (KET) fields State Department overtures a la Fred Sanford
— As someone who used to be an avid watcher of Sanford & Son reruns, I appreciate this idea of doing a Colin Powell/Fred Sanford hybrid. It also kinda feels like a precursor to a fairly well-remembered sketch SNL would later do where Fred’s Barack Obama and his family star in a take-off of The Cosby Show, though I recall that sketch having better writing than this one.
— Kenan’s attempt at a Redd Foxx-type voice could be better, but Kenan was never known as a good impressionist in these earlier seasons of his.
— If I played a drinking game during this sketch, taking a drink every time Finesse’s Lamont Sanford-esque Michael Powell says “Come on, Pop!”, I’d be passed out before the sketch ended. I don’t recall “Come on, Pop!” being something the actual Lamont said THIS frequently on Sanford & Son.
— I like Maya playing a Condoleezza Rice/Aunt Esther hybrid.
STARS: ***
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Give It Away”
TENNIS PLAYERS
tennis players have one (host), two (WLF), three (CHP), seven (BIH) arms
— A great snob voice from Will.
— Will unconvincingly trying to act like Tom’s missing arm isn’t the reason he’s dropping him as his tennis partner is pretty funny.
— After Tom’s line “You’re going to throw away 25 years of tennis and lovemaking?”, Will starts to say his reply, but pauses in an odd way after a second, then continues his reply. I’ve seen some people theorize that Tom’s mention of lovemaking was an ad-lib, and that Will paused so oddly during his response because he was genuinely taken aback by the ad-lib.
— I love Chris entering as Will’s new three-armed tennis partner.
— A very fun increasing absurdity to this sketch.
— I am absolutely LOVING how the only performers in this sketch are Tom Hanks, Will Forte, Chris Parnell, and Bill Hader. Some of my all-time favorite sketch comedy performers, all in one sketch together! And to make it even better, the sketch they’re appearing together in is a very well-written absurdist one.
STARS: ****½
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— For the first Tom Hanks-hosted episode in 10 years, this unfortunately had a bit of a flat feel. The episode actually wasn’t all that bad, and there were a few strong pieces in the post-Weekend Update half, but 1) this episode as a whole didn’t have the special feel it should’ve had for Tom Hanks’ big hosting return, 2) there were a few really lousy sketches placed so bizarrely early in the show, and 3) the episode as a whole was largely forgettable, even with some of the highlights. Tom Hanks himself did not disappoint, though, giving the A+ performances and commitment he can always be relied on to give on SNL. After tonight’s episode, he sadly wouldn’t host again for another 10 years, but unlike tonight’s episode, THAT one actually ends up being worth the 10-year wait.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Lindsay Lohan)
about the same
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Julia Louis-Dreyfus becomes the very first female cast member to host the show