Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
COMPTROLLER RALLY
unpopular George W. Bush (WLF) is sidelined at minor GOP campaign event
— Hmm, an unexpected way to open a new season.
— Fred and Maya even manage to get laughs just from the simple way they nod their heads lightly and smile politely when they’re introduced by Jason’s character.
— Oh, so we get a random inclusion of Will’s President Bush, which I guess is why this is the cold opening.
— A good way to work almost the entire cast into the season premiere’s cold opening (I think only Darrell and Kenan are missing from this, not counting the now-Weekend-Update-only Seth), immediately showing how much smaller this new season’s cast is compared to the preceding season.
— This odd use of Will’s Bush could, in retrospect, be seen as a sign of the beginning of the end for Will’s run as Bush. He makes only one more appearance as Bush two episodes later (in another odd usage of him) before the Bush role is given to a certain other cast member.
— I love Will-as-Bush’s delivery of “Taliban is back, that’s a burn.”
— A funny reaction from Will’s Bush to Andy’s “Politics” line.
STARS: ***
OPENING MONTAGE
— New montage.
— We get a new SNL logo for the first time in 11 years. As you might have noticed among the above screencaps, the words in this new logo are displayed differently from how it would soon go on to be, as the words are displayed horizontally tonight instead of vertically. This 2006-2014 SNL logo will be going through some noteworthy changes the next few episodes before SNL settles on the now-familiar style of it.
— Bill Hader, Andy Samberg, Jason Sudeikis, and Kristen Wiig have all been promoted from featured players to repertory players.
— No new cast members this season.
— The final shot of this opening montage, with the camera showing a tilted shot of the NBC Studios sign (the last above screencap for this opening montage), seems like it might’ve been inspired by a shot shown in the cold opening from the preceding season’s Steve Martin episode (side-by-side comparison below).
MONOLOGUE
host does stand-up about negative people, liars, suicides, car wrecks
— The monitors on the left and right side of the home base stage still display the preceding season’s SNL logo and a still from that season’s opening montage. This would eventually be changed to reflect this season’s new logo and montage.
— Welp, here comes another round of Dane Cook stand-up I have to endure in this SNL project.
— Like I said in my review of Dane’s last monologue, I really dislike his trademark stand-up delivery.
— The suicide bits about “Karaoke Kevin” and “Limbo Linda” are decent.
— The bit about how everything is on YouTube now (and to think, this was before our more current days, where truly almost everything CAN be found on YouTube) is memorable and funny, mainly the “A:F6” part.
— A laugh from Dane’s “Ma’am, you can drive through ghosts” comment.
— Overall, I’m surprised by how much I laughed at this Dane Cook stand-up monologue, and this thankfully lacked some of the more annoying aspects of Dane’s previous monologue.
STARS: ***
SIDE NOTE: No post-monologue fake commercial in tonight’s season premiere? Can’t remember the last time prior to this where a season premiere went without one.
AIRPORT SECURITY SEMINAR
(host) & (JAS) instruct airport security workers regarding liquids & gels
— A fun ensemble piece for the lead-off sketch of the season.
— Dane and Jason make a good duo here, and I’m really liking Jason’s delivery.
— A good laugh from the whole bit with Fred trying to claim that a turkey sandwich can count as a liquid.
— I love Will and Kenan simultaneously saying the same answer to the question of why someone would put a turkey sandwich in a blender: “Well, if your jaw was wired shut–”
— All of the asinine questions the employees are asking are very funny.
— Maya seems like she’s playing a variation of her Jackie character from season 26, who, in one of her appearances, actually did work at an airport (she worked at a post office in her other appearance).
— The “You mean producing a liquid?” “Or a gel” exchange is a particularly hilarious and memorable part of this sketch, made even funnier by Kenan making a classic “Kenan reacts” face in the background.
— A great stern and blunt delivery of “No” from Dane in response to Maya asking if a meatball can count as a liquid.
— Here’s the first sign that I noticed tonight’s episode has a new director (Don Roy King): this sketch ends with a cutaway to an exterior shot of an airport, which I remember feeling was an odd choice when this episode originally aired, especially given the fact that this sketch didn’t open with an exterior shot of anything.
— Overall, a very strong sketch, and a promising way to lead off the new season.
STARS: ****½
HUGO CHAVEZ POLITICAL ROUNDUP
heads of state bash USA & its leader
— Right out of the gate, Fred’s exaggerated gestures and facial expressions as Hugo Chavez are freakin’ slaying me. I can definitely see some people being annoyed by this, but it has me practically on the floor.
— The debut of Amy’s Kim Jong Il, my first reminder that Horatio Sanz is no longer in the cast, as he used to play this role.
— I recall an online SNL fan back at this time (possibly fellow SNL reviewer and fellow SNL blogger The Doc, but I can’t remember for sure) pointing out Amy’s voice and accent as Kim Jong Il in this sketch sounded like the character Dexter from Cartoon Network’s 90s animated series Dexter’s Laboratory.
— The performances in this sketch are very fun, and that, coupled with the silly atmosphere of this sketch, is making the dialogue much funnier than it actually is.
— Holy hell at Dane’s Saddam Hussein voice. Is he attempting to imitate the gruff voice Alec Baldwin used as Saddam the preceding season? I recall an online SNL fan back at this time (not sure if it was the same fan I mentioned above) saying Dane’s Saddam voice sounded like Cookie Monster with a foreign accent.
STARS: ***½
CUBICLE FIGHT
(host) fiercely guards territory from new employee (BIH)
— Funny “Cubicle Fight” reveal.
— Jason is great as the boss with his occasional interruptions during Bill and Dane’s wild fight.
— Solid bit with Bill using Dane’s tongue to lick an envelope.
— Good bit with the pencil sharpener.
— I love the little strut Dane does when he’s turning around as he’s about to stab Bill with a knife.
— Uh…okay. A very odd, speechless, abrupt ending to this short after Dane’s violent and very bloody off-camera stabbing of Bill. Half of me actually kinda loves that, as a Michael O’Donoghue-esque weird, dark, and disturbing way of ending this short, while the other half of me is just left baffled.
STARS: ***½
AL PACINO CHECKS HIS BANK BALANCE
operator (KRW) helps excitable Al Pacino (BIH) check his bank balance
— Fun concept for a sketch showcasing Bill’s killer Al Pacino impression, which we last saw a year prior in Bill’s breakout performance in his very first episode.
— A lot of funny lines from Bill’s Pacino throughout his phone conversation, helped by his very funny delivery.
STARS: ***½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “When You Were Young”
NEW CO-ANCHOR
crestfallen Brian Williams [real] learns that SEM is AMP’s new co-anchor
— Wow, a change of pace, with a pre-Weekend Update intro segment, or a Weekend Update cold opening.
— I see we have a new Update set.
— Very strong premise of the real Brian Williams mistakenly thinking he’s Amy’s new Update co-anchor.
— I love Brian’s reactions to finding out SNL decided to go with Seth as the co-anchor instead of him. We’re seeing early signs of the surprisingly solid SNL host Brian would be the following season.
— Great exit line from Brian, and I love the detail of how he gives Seth a rude, dismissive shoulder bump as he walks past him.
— Odd how the show has gone back to a commercial break right after this short piece, instead of immediately cutting to the Update opening title sequence. However, the copy I’m watching of this episode cuts out all the commercial breaks, which makes it look like SNL does go immediately from this Brian Williams piece to the Update opening title sequence.
STARS: not sure this segment even warrants a rating, but if it does, I’ll give it a very high ****½
WEEKEND UPDATE
Bill Clinton (DAH) refires passion of old flame Condoleezza Rice (MAR)
George Allen (JAS) says he’s an inventor of silly words, not a racist
Dustin Diamond (ANS) hopes to raise money with his unappealing sex tape
— A new Update era officially begins.
— I’m not crazy at all about Amy’s opening joke. Feels like nothing has changed with her from the dire Fey/Poehler era that preceding this.
— A better second joke from Amy tonight.
— Right out of the gate, I’m finding myself liking Seth’s delivery as an Update anchor. His opening joke deserved a much better audience reaction.
— We’re already getting our first Update commentary, after only about three Update jokes?
— Interesting how Darrell and Maya are paired together in this Update commentary in the season premiere, because I remember how, after the somewhat large exodus of season 31 cast members over the summer of 2006, I was disappointed to learn that Darrell and Maya survived the purge, as I was of the opinion that, of all the returning cast members for season 32, Darrell and Maya were the ONLY two that should’ve went out the door with Horatio Sanz, Finesse Mitchell, etc. In hindsight, I’m now aware that season 32 ends up being Maya’s best season in a long while. Darrell, on the other hand? Meh.
— Interesting how Darrell’s Bill Clinton is going right to the point as soon as he shows up in this commentary, bypassing his usual habit of drawing out the beginning of his Update commentaries by making flirtatious comments towards the female anchorperson and milking laughs over little things.
— Maya’s “smirk” as Condoleezza Rice is pretty funny.
— Darrell’s Clinton continues to come off more streamlined tonight, as he surprisingly waited until the end of this Update commentary before he broke out his trademark thumbs-up and lip-bite moves. I appreciate how he saved that for the end, because, while I generally like Darrell’s Clinton, he does usually have a habit of relying on certain things too much as a crutch to get easy audience laughter and applause.
— Seth has been impressing me more and more with his delivery as an Update anchor in his debut tonight. A breath of fresh air from Tina Fey’s later years at the desk. Right out of the gate in his first Update, Seth is coming off so comfortable and sharp.
— Jason is always fun in Update commentaries.
— I’m not too crazy about a lot of the dialogue itself that Jason has here, but his delivery is making it work for me.
— The casting of Andy as Dustin Diamond/Screech seems fitting.
— I like the Saved By The Bell-themed names Andy’s Dustin Diamond/Screech gives for his sex acts.
— Amy’s Miss Cleo/lesbian joke really rubbed me the wrong way. Am I the only one?
— A fun closing joke from Seth.
— Overall, things are looking up for Update in this new era. Seth had a surprisingly very solid debut, and the writing of the jokes was a little better from the last few seasons. Amy still had some iffy moments that reminded me a little too much of her typical Update performance the preceding two seasons, but I’m seeing small signs of improvement in her. I found tonight’s Update alone to be better than literally any Fey/Poehler Update.
STARS: ***
POLAND SPRING DELIVERY MEN
empty bottles belie claims of thirsty water deliverymen (host) & (WLF)
— Right out the gate, we open on a hilarious and odd visual of Will and Dane chugging gallon jugs of water.
— I love Dane poorly and bizarrely making up an excuse that he’s busy “boning” some lady right now, and Will then telling Dane that was a good cover.
— I got a huge laugh from Will’s meek delivery of “I like to watch”, in regards to Dane “boning” his lady.
— Kristen is a great stern straight man here.
— This is such a strong oddball Will Forte sketch as usual. It’s so good, that even Dane Freakin’ Cook is coming off really well here, and his typical delivery style is actually working well in this material instead of hurting it. And who knew he would make a great duo with Will?
— A very memorable and classic sequence right now with an ENDLESS number of water jugs falling out of the closet. Very much in the “Sideshow Bob rake sequence” category of comedy.
— I’m really liking the very meta turn this sketch has taken, with Will detailing his plan to get this whole situation adapted into an SNL sketch. We also get a mention of NBC having two new SNL-based shows at this time: 30 Rock and Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip. This was an interesting time to be an SNL fan.
— A solid self-deprecating ending line from Will about how the funny part of this sketch “ended a looooong time ago”.
STARS: *****
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Bones”
FARRAH FAWCETT FOR OCEAN SAVE
flighty Farrah Fawcett’s (AMP) pro-ocean message lacks focus
— Random idea for a sketch, but I like that we’ve been getting quite a lot of randomness in tonight’s season premiere.
— I’m not 100% sure if the bit with one of Amy’s fake breasts falling down her dress was intentional, as I recall some online SNL fans back at this time questioning if it was a genuine accident. It seemed planned to me, but if it was an accident, then Amy did a good job playing it off like it was part of the sketch.
— Yet another very meta turn tonight (which is another theme in this episode), with Amy-as-Farrah-Fawcett’s rambling getting interrupted by the camera pulling away from this sketch and panning over to the set for the next sketch, all the while Amy’s Farrah Fawcett worriedly follows the camera and asks where it’s going. The audience seems sooooo confused over this, judging from their awkward silence, but I am LOVING this. Such a unique transition into the following sketch. I also love how Amy’s Farrah ends this transition by randomly saying “I’m gonna do this scene now” as the screen fades to black.
STARS: ***½
CLOSING TIME
jerks (host) & (JAS) forcibly eject patrons from a bar at closing time
— Another Jason Sudeikis-starring sketch that takes place in his (I think) real-life hometown of Kansas City, much like the Once In A Lifetime Jewelers sketch he did the preceding season.
— Jason and Dane make yet another solid duo tonight.
— Solid execution of this sketch.
— Another good way tonight to work this entire cast into a sketch.
— Amy’s Farrah Fawcett, in her only line of this sketch: “She’s getting married, and I’m Farrah Fawcett.”
— I love the bit with Fred, which is a great way to end this sketch.
STARS: ****
GEICO
Geico customer’s (ANS) tale is augmented by wreck Whitney Houston (MAR)
— A funny way to spoof the Geico commercials from this time that each had a comical testimonial with an average citizen paired with a celebrity.
— I’m usually not all that crazy about Maya’s Whitney Houston appearances, but it’s working more for me in this format, with her always following up a straitlaced brief anecdote from Andy by saying a crazy brief anecdote.
STARS: ***
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very solid season premiere. I enjoyed literally EVERY SINGLE SEGMENT in this episode, the whole show had a fun vibe, two of the sketches were particularly strong (Poland Spring Delivery Men and Airport Security Seminar), and I liked all the different, out-of-the-ordinary, meta things the show tried. A promising start to a different-feeling SNL season so far. Speaking of a different-feeling SNL season so far, when this episode originally aired, I considered this the start of a new era. There were various things that gave this episode such a “new era” vibe for me back then, which include a new opening montage, a new Update co-anchor and Update set, a new director, the unusual lack of a pre-taped commercial for a season premiere, Weekend Update having a “cold opening”, the aforementioned focus on breaking-the-fourth-wall, meta humor, how unusual it felt seeing the show have a much smaller cast than the extremely large cast of the preceding season, and even a change of the formatting of the post-Weekend Update commercial breaks (though that’s probably more an NBC thing than an involuntary SNL thing). Speaking of the much smaller cast, I remember when I first watched this episode the night it originally aired, I was so used to the preceding season’s large cast that I kept getting an empty feel regarding the smaller cast in this episode. Not necessarily empty in a bad way, but in a way that I kept wondering why the heck it feels like one-third of the cast hadn’t appeared in any sketches yet, until I had to keep reminding myself that one-third of the cast is now gone. It took me an episode or two to get used to this season’s smaller cast, though I definitely appreciated the cast having a more streamlined feel this season (something modern-day SNL in 2020 could learn from). I really like how there were several segments in this episode where SNL used the entire cast (or most of them), showing how much smaller, cohesive, and comfortable-seeming this cast is than season 31’s bloated, mish-mashed cast.
— I was surprised by Dane Cook’s performance as a host in this episode. Unlike his first hosting stint, where I ran hot and cold on him all night (much more cold than hot towards the end of that episode), Dane didn’t bother me at all in any of the sketches he was in tonight (the closest was his odd Saddam Hussein voice in the Hugo Chavez sketch, but that was harmless and only a small part of that sketch), and he also worked well when paired with certain cast members, such as Will Forte and (especially) Jason Sudeikis. Even Dane’s monologue was decent tonight, after an iffy first two minutes.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (2005-06)
a slight step up
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Jaime Pressly