Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
A MESSAGE FROM THE SECRETARY OF STATE DESIGNATE
Hillary Clinton (AMP) puts a positive spin on becoming Secretary Of State
— Amy makes her return from maternity leave, and memorably begins this cold opening by saying, as Hillary Clinton, after turning her chair towards the camera, “You thought I was gone, didn’t you?!?” A very nice way to welcome Amy back into the show.
— I had gotten so used to SNL without Amy the last few episodes that it feels kinda odd seeing her again, especially knowing that two new women have joined the cast during her maternity leave. It does feel good and special seeing Amy back, though, especially knowing this is the homestretch of her SNL tenure.
— Solid performance from Amy in this.
— Darrell’s Bill Clinton, to us: “You voted for change…but you ain’t never gonna change this (*points to himself and Hillary*).”
— Amy’s Hillary, regarding herself and Bill: “Like the south, vampires, and Britney Spears, we will rise again.”
— There’s something charming and sweet I find about the little touch Amy throws in right after her and Darrell’s LFNY, where Amy ad-libs a kiss onto Darrell’s hand right before the camera cuts to the opening montage.
STARS: ****
MONOLOGUE
host spoils the mood while reading The Night Before Christmas to children
— Feels so good seeing John Malkovich hosting SNL again. Not only is he one of my favorite actors, but he’s one of my all-time favorite SNL hosts, and his season 19 episode has always been one of my personal favorite SNL episodes ever.
— Impressive how fast we see the SNL crew assembling the Christmas set on the home base stage.
— I love John’s little, sing-songy “Itchy, itchy” when removing his Santa hat. The studio audience has no idea how to react to that.
— Fantastic concept of John telling kids about Christmas in his usual dry, creepy manner.
— I absolutely love John’s asides to the kids throughout the story. I particularly love the non-sequitur “When I was a child, we used to suck on pennies…and it was a delight.”
— Overall, this monologue is a favorite of mine.
STARS: *****
GAS RIGHT
(FRA) silences farts by applying Breathe Right concept to butt
— There’s a “So dumb, it’s funny” charm to this concept, but I’m still kinda meh on it. SNL has gotten better mileage from fart humor at times before.
— Fred’s jovial delivery of his ending line, “They spread your buttcheeks apart!”, made me laugh.
STARS: **½
NEW GIRL
off-putting traits of mostly-sexy Shana (KRW) disenchant her co-workers
— This character of Kristen’s makes her debut.
— An interesting different type of voice from Kristen.
— Kristen’s pulling off her sexy character’s very unsexy actions really well.
— A good Kenan Reacts facial expression (the second-to-last above screencap for this sketch) in response to Kristen-as-Shana’s diarrhea story.
— John is well-cast in the offbeat role as the only person enamored with Shana’s unsexy actions.
— Even the bathroom humor is coming off fine here. Speaking of which, there apparently was originally going to be a fart in this sketch. I recall hearing from someone that one portion of the James Franco-made behind-the-scenes documentary on this episode (which I haven’t seen myself) shows writer Paula Pell intensely studying various fart sound effects when trying to figure out a fart sound effect to put into this Shana sketch. There ends up being no fart in the aired version of this sketch, which is for the best, especially given the fact that this sketch was preceded by a fart-based commercial.
STARS: ***½
COOL OBAMA
unretributive Barack Obama (FRA) keeps it cool regarding political rivals
— Fred’s Barack Obama voice sounds deeper and more accurate than usual tonight. Some online SNL fans have speculated that SNL may have used a vocal modifier in this pre-tape to make Fred’s voice sound deeper. If that’s true, it’s too bad SNL doesn’t use that vocal modifier in the subsequent live appearances that Fred’s Obama makes.
— An interesting piece, and a different use of Fred’s Obama.
— This is well-shot, and I like the 1960s-like graphics, especially during Fred-as-Obama’s jazz-like, sing-songy spiels about how he “keeps it cool”.
STARS: ***½
LA RIVISTA DELLA TELEVISIONE CON VINNY VEDECCI
Vinny Vedecci & son (BOM) interview host
— I really could’ve done without the return of a staple these Vinny Vedecci sketches always begin with, in which the interviewee has a very taken-aback reaction to Vedecci starting the interview by speaking to them in Italian, then the interviewee explains to Vedecci that they don’t speak Italian, leading to Vedecci arguing in Italian with Fred’s character (though I do like how John Malkovich gets involved in the arguing tonight). It is SO tiring and unnecessary how almost every Vinny Vedecci sketch begins that way. They actually refrained from doing that in the Shia LaBeouf installment of this sketch, so I don’t understand why they returned to it tonight.
— I absolute LOVE the vocal Malkovich impression that Bill’s Vedecci is now doing. Absolutely SPOT-ON.
— The “Being Vinny Vedecci” porno clip is hilarious.
— The debut of Bobby as Vinny Vedecci’s son.
— A big laugh from Vedecci stopping his son’s crying by inappropriately giving him a cigarette.
STARS: ****
VIRGANIA HORSEN’S PONY EXPRESS
Virgania Horsen’s Pony Express is an equine-based custom delivery service
— Odd how this second Virgania Horsen ad opens with the “An SNL Digital Short” title screen, when the first Virgania Horsen ad from the preceding season didn’t open with that.
— Like last time, I’m loving all of the Tim & Eric-esque low-budget awkwardness in this.
— “Stermp” (a variation of stamp) sounds like something another Kristen Wiig recurring character, Target Lady, would say.
— When Virgania Horsen is interacting with male characters played by herself, I’m getting laughs from the awkward flirtatious(?) looks Horsen gives into the camera as both herself and the male characters she’s playing.
STARS: ****
CALCULATOR
getting a calculator for Christmas fulfills twins’ (FRA) & (host) wishes
— I recall some online SNL fans pinpointing this as one of the earliest examples of the huge decline Fred takes in his later seasons. While this is definitely a dumb and questionable sketch, and I can understand why it’s disliked among some SNL fans, I’ve personally always had a soft spot for it. Part of the reason is because I love seeing John Malkovich do something as silly as this sketch, and I like this pairing of him and Fred as these offbeat characters.
— Turns out John is just as fun in this role as I had remembered.
— There’s a dumb likable charm I’m finding to this whole sketch. That’s the best defense of this sketch I can give to anybody who dislikes this sketch.
STARS: ***½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Whatever You Like”
WEEKEND UPDATE
wounded Plaxico Burress (KET) fails to heed his own gun ownership tips
Boy George (FRA) sees nothing wrong with his treatment of gay prostitutes
9-year-old (ANS) offers manipulative & cynical advice on talking to girls
— Similar to what I said in the cold opening, I had gotten so used to Weekend Update without Amy that it feels a little odd seeing her back at the desk.
— Pretty funny gun tips from Kenan as Plaxico Burress.
— I’m enjoying the voice and accent Fred’s using as Boy George.
— What’s with the smiling/giggling reactions Fred keeps giving Seth throughout this commentary? Even Seth looks taken aback by it.
— This Boy George commentary isn’t doing it for me. It’s pretty much a pointless, rambling mess. I think we’re seeing another early example of SNL giving Fred free rein to go on the air and waste airtime by doing whatever the hell stretched-out thing wants.
— Amy’s jokes seem a little better than usual tonight, but maybe it just seems that way to me because I perhaps subconsciously missed her presence during her hiatus (which, if so, is kinda odd, given the fact that I’m usually not crazy about her as an Update anchor). Between how refreshing I found Amy’s presence in the cold opening earlier tonight and now this, I guess this is a case of absence making the heart grow fonder. I also wonder if it’s because, in hindsight, I consider Amy to be the last pillar of stability before the female cast really falls apart as Wiig Mania hits full swing, with Kristen being utilized more than ever, a lot of particularly badly-written Wiig characters making their debut (e.g. the “Thomas!” lady), and Kristen’s female castmates infamously being sidelined on a frequent basis in favor of her.
— A lot of good laughs from the inappropriate advice Andy’s little boy character is giving about talking to girls. I particularly love the “cat on your fat” double entendre.
— I love how the audience initially has no idea how to react to Seth’s joke about White House staff members “putting their nuts on the Bush family’s toothbrushes”.
STARS: ***½
THE LOST WORKS OF JUDY BLUME
preteen Gertie (host) undergoes unnatural body changes in Judy Blume book
— Kenan’s singing of the “Lost Works of Judy Blume” theme song is making me laugh.
— I’m usually very iffy on men-in-drag humor in more recent SNL eras like this one, but the visual of John dressed like this in a “tender” Judy Blume spoof is very funny. His portrayal of this character is also helping to prevent it from being hacky like some men-in-drag sketches. And the fact that it’s John Malkovich playing this role gives it a great creepy, unsettling, disturbing tone.
— This is the closest to a noteworthy role Abby has gotten so far in her SNL tenure, and it’s still just a forgettable straight role that doesn’t let her show her comedic chops.
— A good laugh from John-as-Gertie’s description of her first period, which lasted months.
— I’m liking Michaela’s realistic off-put facial reactions to Gertie’s odd actions.
STARS: ****
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
(ANS) & (Jorma Taccone) are premature ejaculators
— A rarity to have two officially-billed Digital Shorts in the same episode. I really like the rare times that happens, though, as it gives the episodes an interesting feel.
— This has always been one of my personal favorite Digital Shorts. I haven’t watched this one in ages, so I’m VERY eager to revisit it right now.
— When this originally aired, I remember how surprising it was seeing Jorma Taccone in a co-starring role. Sure, he and Akiva Schaffer made appearances in bit roles in some previous Lonely Island shorts, but this is the first one to feature either Jorma or Akiva in such a front-and-center main role.
— I absolutely LOVE the melody to the non-chorus parts of this song. It sounds quite “West End Girls”-esque (a Pet Shop Boys song), though I don’t know if that’s intentional.
— Many memorably hilarious bits throughout this song, and I especially like how the jizz-in-pants reactions from Andy and Jorma are provoked by increasingly innocent things.
— A very random Justin Timberlake cameo (for the second episode this season) as a supermarket janitor.
— Very catchy chorus towards the end of the song.
STARS: *****
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Swizz Beatz [real] perform “Swing Ya Rag”
J’ACCUZZI
host reprises Dangerous Liaisons role in an onstage hot tub
— An absolutely hilarious random concept.
— Very funny visuals of dramatic Dangerous Liaisons scenes being portrayed so seriously in a hot tub.
— Spot-on casting of Michaela as Glenn Close’s character from Dangerous Liaisons, as Michaela does have a strong facial resemblance to Close.
— I love John’s dialogue in the interstitial pre-taped interview scenes with him.
STARS: ****½
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very solid episode. There was a good quality for almost the entire night (even the segment I found to be the weakest, Gas Right, wasn’t too bad), and there were some strong, memorable, and inspired bits. The post-Weekend Update half was particularly great. John Malkovich is now 3-for-3 in hosting SNL episodes that I love. Speaking of John, he was, once again, a great host. It’s criminal that SNL never made him a frequent recurring host. He should be well into the Five Timers Club by now.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Monologue / Jizz In My Pants (tie)
J’accuzzi
La Rivista Della Televisione con Vinny Vedecci
Virgania Horsen’s Pony Express
The Lost Works Of Judy Blume
A Message from the Secretary of State Designate
New Girl
Calculator
Cool Obama
Weekend Update
Gas Right
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Tim McGraw)
a big step up
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Hugh Laurie hosts the Christmas episode. It’s also Amy Poehler’s final episode as a cast member.