Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
THE LAWRENCE WELK SHOW
Dooneese creeps out a Mexican singer (host)
— So now this usually-post-monologue sketch has “graduated” to the cold opening slot? At least we’re getting a non-political opening.
— A rare host appearance in the cold opening.
— Blah. The same-old, same-old Dooneese routine that only worked for me the first time. Nothing to really say about it here.
STARS: **
MONOLOGUE
host pulls acting gigs for the new year from a bin of career ideas
— I like the fake-out with James Franco mentioning the title of a movie he was recently in, which the audience gives their obligatory applause to, only for him to reveal the movie doesn’t even exist.
— James: “Unlike last year, I don’t have a movie to promote. But SNL doesn’t have an election this year, so we’re all gettin’ by with a little less.”
— An okay idea of James pulling career suggestions out of a bin.
— Ugh at the suggestion of James picking a town and having sex with every woman in it, a joke that hasn’t aged well.
— After reading a suggestion about James making this the best SNL Christmas show of all time, I chuckled at James responding “Not a chance!” At least SNL’s not getting anyone’s hopes up, given how this episode turns out (not very good, IIRC).
STARS: **½
WHAT UP WITH THAT?
Mike Tyson & Jack McBrayer [real] on holiday episode
— Unlike previous What Up With That installments, in which Will does his announcements while standing next to the backup singers (Jenny and Nasim), Will does his announcements tonight from a separate set, which would go on to be a regular thing for him and future What Up With That announcer Taran Killam in all subsequent installments of this sketch…or at least all subsequent installments I’ve seen. I have yet to see the recent SNL At Home edition of this sketch from 2020, so I don’t know who, if anyone, played the announcer in that one. Thanks in advance if anyone lets me know who it was.
— Holy hell, Mike Freakin’ Tyson!
— For some reason, the gold chain that Jason usually wears in these sketches is being held in his hand when he and Fred first pop up in tonight’s installment.
— Ah, now Jason is wearing the gold chain the second time he and Fred pop up. I wonder why he held it in his hand in his earlier appearance in this sketch.
— It’s always hilarious in these What Up With That sketches whenever Jason gradually slows down his dance when the music slows down while Kenan introduces the character played by that night’s SNL host.
— This sketch is feeling more and more routine each time it appears, but as always, it’s a lot of fun.
— I love Andy as a dancing John Stockton.
— Jason is going particularly wild with his dance moves tonight, which is, of course, a plus.
STARS: ****½
AFFECTIONATE FAMILY
girlfriend (ABE) warms to intimacy of (host) & rest of Vogelcheck family
— OH, GOD. Figures that SNL would follow one of the most fun recurring sketches of this era (What Up With That) with one of the most miserable recurring sketches from this era.
— For some reason, it feels kinda odd seeing Kenan participating in the usual man-on-man kissing in this recurring sketch.
— As always, this is fucking insufferable.
STARS: *
THE TIZZLE WIZZLE SHOW
kids program has host, jammies, knives, pills
— Spot-on spoof of typical pre-schooler shows that air on channels like Nick Jr.
— Hilarious dark turn with the sudden involvement of knives, pills, and a glow-in-the-dark murder spree, all being presented in an upbeat, kid-friendly manner.
— Perfect ending, and I love James’ emotional breakdown.
— Overall, short but sweet. A very strong and funny display of dark and disturbing humor.
STARS: ****½
THE MANUEL ORTIZ SHOW
Latin rhythm eclipses infidelity revelation
— The debut of a recurring sketch that I’ve never liked. Damn, between the Affectionate Family and now this (and even The Lawrence Welk Show, as Fred plays the title role of that), how many bad Fred Armisen-starring recurring sketches can one episode feature?
— Only a minute into this sketch, and SNL has already run the “every guest’s entrance and exit features everybody dancing, to the exact same song each time” gag into the fucking ground.
— Something about the way Kenan looks in his walk-on is actually making me laugh, which is more than I can say for the rest of this sketch.
— Ugh, these one-joke dance routines are so increasingly unbearable.
STARS: *½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Uprising”
WEEKEND UPDATE
Jersey Shore’s Snooki (BOM) & The Situation (BIH) are cartoonish Italians
unprepared Garth (FRA) & Kat (KRW) make up holiday songs on the spot
— The debut of Bobby’s memorable Snooki impression.
— Despite being the cliched brash-guy-plays-a-woman trope, and despite the material being thin at some points, Bobby, in typical Bobby Moynihan fashion, is making this role a lot of fun.
— Funny walk-on from Bill as The Situation.
— OH. FUCKING. NO. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! In tonight’s night of debuts, we get the debut of one of THE absolute nadirs not only of this SNL era, but of SNL history: fucking Garth and Kat. (*groan to end all groans*) And I had to open my mouth earlier in this review when I asked “how many bad Fred Armisen-starring recurring sketches can one episode feature?”
— Such self-indulgent bullshit with Fred and Kristen, the designated stars of this season, being given free rein to waste so much airtime with this painfully unfunny improv game routine that’s just an excuse for them to crack each other up on the air. Save this shit for behind the scenes.
STARS: **½
FRAT PLEDGE
mentally-slow fraternity brothers haze pledge (ANS) to learn basic facts
— For some reason, I’m cracking up at the horror music playing at the beginning of this sketch, during the fratboys’ hazing of Andy.
— Feels kinda like they’re revealing the main joke too early, but it’s still making me laugh.
— I love Jason’s performance as a loud, angry, deep-voiced fratboy, another example of Jason perfectly pulling off a Will Ferrell-esque role.
— When this originally aired, I remember it being pointed out by some online SNL fans that James seemed to be drooling throughout this sketch. That’s supported by the fact that, when James claps his hands a single time at one point, Andy has an awkward facial reaction, then, in an ad-lib, wipes something off of the side of his face while smirking out of character. James’ drool apparently got on Andy’s face when James clapped. I’m completely lost on how or why any of this happened. Does James have some kind of drooling disorder or something?
STARS: ***
VINCENT PRICE’S CHRISTMAS SPECIAL
James Dean (host) visits Vincent Price’s (BIH) 1954 Christmas Special
Marilyn Monroe (ABE) quickly shills for Asbestos
— The usual opening gag with Bill’s Vincent Price being the victim of a special effects failure came off kinda half-assed tonight.
— Kristen reprises her Katharine Hepburn impression from the second installment of this sketch, way back in season 31. Her Hepburn is being utilized much more in tonight’s installment, given that the previous installment her Hepburn appeared in was back when SNL was still experimenting with the format of these Vincent Price sketches and opted to have each guest in that installment make a separate appearance and then immediately leave.
— Unlike in the previous appearances Fred’s Liberace made in these Vincent Price sketches, the gay jokes involving him aren’t working much for me in tonight’s installment, but I always absolutely love Bill-as-Price’s reactions to him.
— They repeat a gag from the very first installment of this sketch, where the commercial break that Bill’s Price throws to ends up being very short, which he angrily questions afterwards.
— I got a big laugh from Kristen’s Hepburn cracking the neck of the raccoon biting her.
— The ending jump scare with a rabies-infested Kristen suddenly popping up in front of the screen while screaming was awfully similar to the ending of the Game Time With Randy And Greg sketch earlier this season.
— This overall sketch was good, but I sadly didn’t find it to be as strong as usual.
STARS: ***½
TREE LOVER
(host) is emotionally attached to evergreens on his Christmas tree lot
— I’m iffy on this premise of James engaging in increasingly detailed conversations with his Christmas trees, though there is something strangely kinda endearing about it. Maybe I’d like this sketch more if it was performed by a host far more adept at pulling off oddball roles, like, say, John Malkovich, Christopher Walken, or Steve Buscemi.
— I remember an online SNL fan back at this time in 2009 saying this sketch had a very season 6 feel. Not sure if I agree with that or not nowadays.
— Kinda tired of all the reaction shots of the straight man characters throughout this sketch whenever James is talking to a Christmas tree. Maybe I wouldn’t mind it if this wasn’t an SNL era that relied too heavily on cutting to people’s silent reaction shots whenever someone is doing something weird.
— Don’t care for the gag at the end with a tree actually talking back to James.
STARS: **
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Starlight”
OFFICE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS
businessmen Carl, Jerry, (host) choose dildos for office Christmas gifts
— The third and final appearance of Will and Bill’s Carl and Jerry characters, a.k.a. the Fart Face guys.
— Is James supposed to be playing the same character Alec Baldwin previously played in the second installment of this sketch? Both James and Alec’s characters are named Troy, and both hosts wear the same wig.
— The visual of that ridiculous tiny toupee on Will’s forehead always cracks me up in these sketches.
— I always love Will’s delivery of “Carol, hold my caaaallllls!” in these sketches.
— All the dildo talk is very dumb, but is having me laughing out loud due to the solid execution and delivery. While this, to me, still doesn’t compare to the original Fart Face sketch these characters appeared in, it’s still better than their appearance from the preceding season’s Alec Baldwin episode.
— What the hell happened to the camera all of a sudden? While James is angrily saying “What a freakin’ fart face!”, the camera accidentally cuts to a close-up of a silent Bill instead of James, then the screen malfunctions and turns green, then turns gray, then cuts to a random close-up of a silent Will. Very odd.
— Fred has appeared in almost EVERY SINGLE SKETCH tonight.
— What was with the very abrupt ending? Was that even an ending??? This sketch just randomly faded to black after Will, Bill, and James yelled a whole bunch of stuff at Fred.
STARS: ****
MARK WAHLBERG TALKS TO CHRISTMAS ANIMALS
Mark Wahlberg (ANS) talks to a sheep, a partridge, a snowman, Rudolph
— Adding to my confusion over how abruptly the preceding Office Christmas Presents sketch faded to black, it’s immediately followed by this Mark Wahlberg sketch opening with a taped(?) Don Pardo voice-over saying “This has been Mark Wahlberg Talks to Christmas Animals”, as if the sketch is ending instead of beginning. What the hell is going ON?!? Tonight’s episode has gotten really sloppy these last two sketches.
— The first installment of this sketch is a classic, but, yeah, not sure we needed a follow-up. This doesn’t seem like that type of thing that’ll work as a recurring sketch.
— Andy’s execution is still solid, like it was in the first installment of this sketch, but the material is leaving a little to be desired.
— Hmm, all of a sudden, Andy now seems to be rushing through this. He’s also blatantly staring at the cue cards this entire sketch, which he didn’t (noticeably) do in the first installment.
— The ending almost got cut off, and they seemed to be in a big hurry to fade to the SNL bumper photo of James Franco. Yeah, they definitely rushed through this sketch. The show must be running long. I wonder if this is also the reason why the preceding Office Christmas Presents sketch ended so abruptly. I also wonder if this is why Andy blatantly stared at the cue cards all throughout this Walhberg sketch, as perhaps a lot of lines in this sketch were removed at LITERALLY the very last minute so they could squeeze this sketch in.
STARS: **½
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A pretty meh Christmas episode, despite some good things. Further hurting this episode was the fact that we got quite a number of wretched recurring material (The Lawrence Welk Show, Affectionate Family, The Manuel Ortiz Show, Garth and Kat), all of which just so happened to star Fred Armisen and/or Kristen Wiig.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
The Tizzle Wizzle Show
What Up With That?
Office Christmas Presents
Vincent Price’s Christmas Special
Frat Pledge
Mark Wahlberg Talks To Christmas Animals
Monologue
Weekend Update
Tree Lover
The Lawrence Welk Show
The Manuel Ortiz Show
Affectionate Family
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Taylor Lautner)
a very slight step up
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
We enter a new decade. Charles Barkley hosts the first SNL of the 2010s.