Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
LIVE WITH KELLY & MICHAEL
Robert Pattinson (BIH) broods
— Wow, I’ve actually forgotten that “Live with Kelly & Michael” was a thing, even though it lasted several years.
— So far this season, Jay is 2-for-2 in starring in cold openings, which alone shows how much better his airtime has gotten this season.
— Some fun interplay between Jay’s Michael Strahan and Nasim’s Kelly Ripa, and some amusing comments from them about their incongruous pairing. I especially like the comment about how they look like the poster for The Blind Side.
— The interview with Bill’s Robert Pattinson is okay, but isn’t doing a whole lot for me.
STARS: ***
OPENING MONTAGE
— The SNL logo is displayed in a much smaller size tonight than it was in the debut of this opening montage in the preceding week’s season premiere.
— Much like in the preceding week’s season premiere, this season’s new theme music is still being played in a noticeably slower tempo than it would later go on to regularly be, but am I crazy, or is this opening montage being played in a much faster speed tonight than it was in the season premiere?
— Kate McKinnon’s photo from the season premiere’s opening montage (first screencap below) has been changed to a different photo tonight (second screencap below).
— The respective live-action background footage used for the musical guests’ photo and the hosts’ photo in the season premiere’s montage has been switched with each other tonight.
— Yet ANOTHER change to the montage tonight: the season premiere’s montage ended with a shot of the camera panning up an exterior shot of 30 Rock (first screencap below), whereas tonight, that final shot has been replaced with the camera showing a shot of the lights under the neon NBC Studios marquee (second screencap below).
MONOLOGUE
host, TAK, JAP, BOM do strip club routine inspired by Magic Mike
— Joseph Gordon-Levitt has a very tough act to follow after his absolutely epic monologue (the “Make ‘Em Laugh” musical one) from his previous hosting stint.
— Well…out of absolutely nowhere, this turns into Joseph re-enacting a stripping sequence from one of that summer’s hit movies, Magic Mike.
— I like the subtle joke with the overweight Bobby having a vest under his vest when he and the other guys remove their vests in unison to reveal their bare torsos.
— This whole Magic Mike thing is VERY random, and partly (if not fully) seems to be an excuse to pander to the ladies watching the show. Didn’t SNL already do that enough in Channing Tatum’s monologue from the preceding season?
— Nasim’s smiling-but-uncomfortable facial reaction to Joseph repeatedly thrusting his crotch towards her made me chuckle, at least.
— Overall, let’s just say Joseph’s “Make ‘Em Laugh” monologue has absolutely nothing to worry about in terms of competition from tonight’s monologue.
STARS: **
LOW-INFORMATION VOTERS OF AMERICA
undecided voters ask stupid questions about the presidential race
— When this originally aired, I remember initially kinda thinking Cecily’s lead role in this was randomly being played by an extra, because I wasn’t familiar with Cecily’s looks yet, and she looked so drastically different to me in each appearance she made in her early episodes (especially when playing Rachel Maddow in the following episode).
— Some good laughs from the idiotic voter-related questions being asked by citizens.
— Among the cast members each asking questions, we get a random Asian actor as one of them (who even gets a laugh from the audience at one point in response to a line of his), as if he’s a cast member.
STARS: ***½
TRES EQUIS
The Most Interesting Man In The World’s son (host) plugs Tres Equis beer
— Odd how this is the second pre-taped commercial airing back-to-back, though there was a commercial break between them. Even odder, though, how this pre-taped commercial is airing immediately after a commercial break, especially when there’s a live sketch that will be airing immediately after this. Maybe they needed an extra minute or two to finish getting that live sketch set up.
— We get another random Asian actor playing the type of role you’d sometimes expect a cast member to play.
— Pretty solid spoof of Dos Equis commercials.
— Even without speaking, Cecily’s mere airheaded, unfazed facial expressions while Joseph is speaking are making me laugh, showing how good she is even at non-speaking roles.
STARS: ***½
PRIVATE DETECTIVE
detective (BIH) offers caricatures as proof of (host)’s wife’s cheating
— As I always say, Bill is a complete natural at playing old-timey roles like this.
— Funny reveal of Bill’s “evidence” of Joseph’s wife cheating on him just turning out to be caricatures Bill made of Joseph’s wife doing innocent things.
— I love the “You’re a monster!” “I’m not a monster – that’s a monster!” exchange between Joseph and Bill, ending with Bill showing a drawing he made of a fictional monster.
— Uh, WTF at that ending??? Talk about a good sketch ending with a whimper.
STARS: ***½
TRES EQUIS
The Most Interesting Man In The World (JAS) is fed up with his loser son
— Joseph continues to be funny in the footage demonstrating his character’s typical immature actions.
— A very funny sudden turn with Jason as The Most Interesting Man In The World crashing this commercial and having a shouting match with Joseph as his son. This is hilarious, especially thanks to Jason’s great commitment during his furious outbursts. He’s always been one of SNL’s best angry yellers.
STARS: ****
HYPNOTIST
hammy audience member (TAK) pretends to have been hypnotized by (host)
— Oh, I remember loving this sketch so much when it originally aired. And it’s yet another example of how, back in these days, Taran excitedly had me convinced in his early seasons that he would go on to be SNL’s next Will Ferrell. Back then, I found Taran’s performance in this sketch to not only be a display of Ferrell-esque fearlessness and leadership, but even the little detail of how the fake mustache added to his comical look was a Ferrell-esque trait.
— I absolutely love Taran interspersing his crazy dinosaur sounds by cheesily and hammily mouthing things to the audience to let them know he’s faking his hypnotic trance.
— Taran shirtless for the second time tonight?
— Ha, now Taran disrobes even further, all the way down to just his tighty whities.
— Taran is going ALL OUT in this sketch, especially in his humping of Kenan while wearing nothing but briefs. Yep, I can definitely see why I got those fearless Ferrell-esque vibes from Taran when this originally aired.
— Wow, a great turn with Taran hypnotically revealing he’s having an affair, causing his now-distraught wife to walk out, only for it to turn out that this is a trick they’re both playing on the hypnotist.
— Very strong sketch overall. I found this to be pretty much just as great as I had remembered it, even when I’m now fully aware that Taran’s SNL tenure doesn’t end up taking a Will Ferrell-esque legendary trajectory like I had predicted at this time in 2012.
STARS: ****½
G.O.B. TAMPONS
(VAB) uses G.O.B., the tampon designed by old white male Republicans
— Solid spokesman performance from Vanessa.
— Good concept to this fake ad, and there are some amusing features of the advertised tampon.
STARS: ***½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “I Will Wait”
WEEKEND UPDATE
What Are You Doing?- SEM advises Obama not to interrupt Romney’s mistakes
Bashar al-Assad’s Two Best Friends From Growing Up (FRA) & (VAB) badmouth him via sotto voce
Beyonce fan Ann Romney (KAM) unapologetically defends her husband
name-dropping Stephen A. Smith (JAP) says Tim Tebow is a detrimental Jet
— Ha, a mention of the real-life incident in which Mitt Romney showed up to a Spanish TV broadcast seemingly in brownface. Even all these years later, thinking about that incident always cracks me up.
— I think this “What Are You Doing?” segment (basically one of many thinly-veiled variations of Seth’s “Really?!?” segment) was previously used for that lousy, completely laughless North Korea rant Seth did in an Update from towards the end of the preceding season. Oof. Hope the segment goes better this time.
— Ah, some good comments from Seth throughout tonight’s “What Are You Doing?” segment, especially the comment about the queen of England. A big improvement over the aforementioned North Korea edition of “What Are You Doing?”
— OHHHHH (*insert an insanely long, continuous, frustrated scream here*) Another appearance from those wretched, painfully unfunny, one-note Two Best Friends From Growing Up characters. By this point of tonight’s episode, I had actually forgotten Fred is even still in the cast. Shit like this Two Best Friends bit and that Rodger Brush reprisal in the preceding week’s season premiere, combined with Fred’s decreased airtime this season, shows that Fred had absolutely NO plausible reason to return this season (even moreso than the past few seasons, where Fred already should’ve been long gone) and should’ve went out the door with Wiig & company back in May. That being said, Fred actually does have some shining moments we’ll be seeing this season, but this sure as shit ain’t it.
— I admit to at least getting a laugh in spite of myself at Vanessa’s whispery delivery of “Screeewww. Yooouuu.” when her Two Best Friends character quotes something she said towards Bashar al-Assad.
— This Ann Romney commentary is something that ends up being an important moment for Kate in this early stage of her SNL tenure.
— It had been so long since Kate’s last big role that it feels like a novelty seeing her in her own Update commentary tonight, her very first of MANY Update commentaries over the years.
— Even early on in this Ann Romney commentary, Kate’s already having a lot of funny lines, which are being well-delivery by her.
— I love Kate-as-Romney’s oddly-accented, poignant delivery of Beyonce’s name throughout this commentary.
— For someone who’s so new on SNL, Kate is impressively leading this Update commentary with total ease and fantastic stage presence.
— Funny random appearance from Bill’s Rick Perry when Kate’s Romney summons him by saying his name three times.
— Kate’s Romney comically breaking out into some lyrics from a Beyonce song is priceless, especially her various gestures during it.
— Overall, even after years of getting used to Kate on SNL and eventually growing very tired of her after loving her on the show for several years (full disclosure: from about 2014-2017, she was my favorite current cast member), it’s not hard for me to see today in 2020 why this Ann Romney Update commentary was Kate’s breakout moment, why it was a great revelation about her as a performer after she was somewhat under the radar before this point, and how it led to her getting more and more noteworthy comedic roles. This Update commentary is fully deserving of the hype it received at the time, in my opinion, and it still holds up for me today.
— The on-air debut of Jay’s Stephen A. Smith impression, which ends up becoming a recurring Update bit. It actually debuted in the dress rehearsal of the preceding season’s Mick Jagger-hosted finale, but got cut from the live show. A video of it would be put up online by NBC.com and/or Hulu shortly after that episode’s original airing.
— Blah, I’m not caring at all for Jay’s Stephen A. Smith constantly going from praising a person he’s talking about to suddenly going on a heated rant against them. I also notice that, during those heated rants, Jay keeps occasionally raising the pitch of his voice in a comically-squeaky manner, which isn’t necessary and is just coming off desperate for laughs. Oh, and is it really true that Robert Smigel and Adam McKay, of all people, write these Stephen A. Smith commentaries? Please say it ain’t so. They are both SO much better than this material.
— I did at least get a laugh just now from Jay’s Stephen A. Smith saying “Tim Tebow’s throwin’ arm is proof that there is no God.”
STARS: **½
LONDON
“You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away” stirs (host) & other icky reminiscers
— This Song Memories recurring sketch makes its first appearance in two seasons, and this ends up being its final appearance. Kenan replaces the no-longer-on-the-show Andy Samberg as one of the “icky reminiscers”, after Andy himself replaced the then-no-longer-on-the-show Will Forte as one of the “icky reminiscers”.
— An odd but fairly interesting choice to have the three new cast members, Aidy, Tim, and Cecily, as bar patrons in the background of this Song Memories sketch. Not sure why they’ve been cast in those background roles, given the fact that they have nothing to do or say in this sketch, but I kinda like that we’re seeing all of this season’s newbies paired together.
— Another interesting choice, with the music in this particular Song Memories installment being provided live in person by Mumford & Sons, playing a Beatles cover band. A very nice change of pace for this recurring sketch.
— Kenan is not only fitting in as one of the “icky reminiscers” better than you might’ve expected, but the “gold medal” that his “Michael Phelps” character displays is hilarious.
— As typical of some of the later installments of this recurring sketch, some of the punchlines to the guys’ stories tonight are meh, but their delivery and the general atmosphere of this particular installment of this recurring sketch are so damn likable, fun, and infectious that the meh punchlines are easily forgivable.
— Now this sketch gets even more fun at the end, with the fourth wall break of all the performers on the set (even the cue card guys!) taking their singing of “You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away” off of the sketch’s set and through SNL’s studio and audience. Reminiscent of the great ending of that Coolio sketch from the preceding season’s Jonah Hill episode, and a charming way to officially end the run of this recurring Song Memories sketch, whether the latter was SNL’s intention or not.
STARS: ***½
THE FINER THINGS
fashionistas (KET) & (JAP) epitomize hip-hop gone soft
— Jay’s stock continues to rise this season, with him getting his third lead role tonight.
— I got a laugh from Kenan and Jay’s fashion line being called Unstankable.
— Seeing Joseph playing an urban-speaking character is funny in itself. He’s committed to selling the hell out of it, in a comical way.
— Funny visual of Kenan’s over-excited, leg-kicking reaction to Joseph’s mention of a new line of “scar-digans”.
— As usual, fun supporting work from Bobby.
— This seems to be one of those talk show sketches that you can tell was probably set up to become recurring, only for us to end up never seeing it again after its debut. No big loss in this case, though this sketch isn’t bad.
STARS: ***
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Below My Feet”
MY DAUGHTER
(FRA) & (KAM) musically present flawed daughter (host) to suitor (TIR)
— When this originally aired, I remember thinking Kate was playing a role that Kristen Wiig definitely would’ve played if she were still on the show. Kate, in this early stage of her SNL tenure, comes off more fresh in this role than Kristen would’ve at this point in 2012.
— Something else I also remember thinking when this sketch originally aired is that the wig Tim wore strangely kinda made him resemble Bronson Pinchot.
— Pretty entertaining conceit of Fred and Kate singing an epic entrance song for their daughter while she does an interpretive dance. The song is also kinda catchy.
— Lots of amusing actions from Joseph during his interpretive dance.
— I love Kate’s “She was hiding inside meeeeee” lyric.
STARS: ***½
POWERS REALTY
butts & wieners are appearing on ads of married realtors (TIR) & (NAP)
— Great to see Tim in his second consecutive big role tonight.
— I’m liking the pathetic-sounding delivery Nasim’s using in this, especially when saying stuff like “First of all: nooo. Second of all: dooon’t.” Also, the character voice she’s using here sounds so much like the voice of her season 35 fellow newbie Jenny Slate.
— Good reveal of Joseph, as Tim and Nasim’s son, being the culprit of all the obscene things drawn on their ads.
— Due to the show running long, this sketch gets abruptly cut off mid-progress when Joseph starts writing an obscene message on the Tim/Nasim poster in the background. Aww, I kinda wanted to see whatever that was he was writing.
STARS: ***
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Two episodes in, and Season 38 remains solid and refreshing. Much like the season premiere, I enjoyed almost every single segment in tonight’s episode, though there weren’t as many standout great segments as the season premiere had. Still a lot of enjoyable stuff all throughout the show, though. The only low points of this episode for me were the monologue and Weekend Update (the latter of which was dragged down by two lousy guest commentaries).
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Hypnotist
Tres Equis (Part 2)
Tres Equis (Part 1)
Low-Information Voters Of America
G.O.B. Tampons
Private Detective
My Daughter
London
Powers Realty
Live with Kelly & Michael
The Finer Things
Weekend Update
Monologue
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Seth MacFarlane)
a slight step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Daniel Craig