October 12, 2013 – Bruce Willis / Katy Perry (S39 E3)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

NASA SHUTDOWN
government shutdown impacts NASA & Gravity astronauts (TAK) & (CES)

— Pretty funny non-verbal reaction Kenan’s night janitor character initially has to Taran and Cecily’s panicked call. I also like him answering that call by innocently asking a light-hearted “Yello?”
— SNL gets more good mileage out of the government shutdown.
— A good laugh from Taran’s delivery of “Why don’t we make this asphyxiation…an erotic one?”
STARS: ***½

MONOLOGUE
BOM plays harmonica poorly & fancies himself to be like host’s son

— Wasn’t too crazy about Bruce Willis’ joke about six Die Hards. His delivery of it was pretty awkward, which already sets a bad tone for how his hosting performance will go in tonight’s episode.
— Thank god Bobby has shown up to offer some much-needed comic relief.
— Despite the humor Bobby’s bringing to this, the interplay between him and Bruce feels kinda weird, thanks to Bruce’s lack of ANY kind of believable chemistry with Bobby.
— Much like Bruce’s last monologue from all the way back in 1989, we get a display of his harmonica-playing skills. Some entertaining tunes from him here.
— Love the gag with Bobby repeatedly breathing in and out of his harmonica because he’s out of breath and needs his inhaler.
STARS: **½

24-HOUR ENERGY FOR DATING ACTRESSES
harrowed boyfriends cope by drinking 24-Hour Energy For Dating Actresses

— Funny reveal of this being an energy drink ad for men who are dating actresses. A relatable premise, though I’m sure this resonates more with people who can relate to this more than I can.
— Cecily’s angry outburst is giving me some good laughs.
— Another amusing non-verbal reaction from Kenan tonight, this time when seeing his girlfriend Cecily do a physical romantic scene with a shirtless Jay.
— Good ending about an energy drink for women dating hacky comedians.
STARS: ***½

BLACK OPS
(host)’s unrealistically-cinematic attack plan sways fellow Navy SEALs

— A funny blunt, short, and to-the-point clarification from Beck after Bruce’s very long-winded and detailed first answer.
— I have mixed feelings on this sketch so far. Actually, the premise isn’t bad, and the cast members are doing good work. I think my problem with this sketch is Bruce’s delivery, especially how mumbly and low-talky he occasionally gets. John Milhiser would later disclose in an interview (I can’t remember who interviewed him) that, during the table read for this episode, people in the room called attention to Bruce’s habit of mumbling and low-talking his way through his line readings, and asked him to speak louder and more clearly. In response, Bruce nodded his head and gave a thumbs-up gesture, only to IMMEDIATELY continue mumbling and low-talking his way through his line readings. Looks like that habit of his has carried over into parts of the live show, as this sketch is showing.
— I’m loving Bobby’s over-excited reactions to Bruce’s details in his action movie-like plan.
STARS: **

THE OL’ BARBERSHOP
(host)’s unembellished anecdotes fall flat compared to fellow barbers’

— Very fun performances and delivery from Kenan and Jay, the latter of whom seems to intentionally be doing an impression of Eddie Murphy’s barber character from Coming To America.
— Bruce is wearing a wig that seems to be an intentional replica of his real hairstyle from his previous hosting stint in 1989 (side-by-side comparison below).

   

— The main comedic conceit of this sketch with Bruce’s weird, offbeat stories isn’t bad, but once AGAIN tonight, I am not caring much for Bruce’s delivery. Kenan and Jay’s side characters are amusing me far more than Bruce’s main character is.
— What the hell? Bruce completely fucked up the whole ending. He missed his cue to remove Bobby’s barber cape and started making his exit a little too early, forcing Bobby himself to awkwardly start removing the cape, only for Bruce to finally realize his mistake and come over to help Bobby remove the cape, revealing an orange prison jumpsuit that Bobby’s randomly wearing under the cape. That prison jumpsuit reveal, which was supposed to get a big laugh from the audience, falls completely flat and is met with confused silence from the audience because Bruce screwed up the timing it so damn badly. Then Bruce proceeds to completely botch his timing of his “It was Sheryl Crow” reveal right as he makes his scripted exit, leading to awkward silence before Kenan and Jay keep the ending of the sketch going. Man, Bruce has been a trainwreck-y host tonight so far.
STARS: **

BOY DANCE PARTY
regular guys bust a move when the ladies are away

— Oh, I’m eager to re-watch this right now. I remember this music video being a blast when I last saw it back when it originally aired 7 years ago.
— Yeah, so far, this is absolutely holding up for me. I’m loving this. The catchy music, the visuals, the gags, the performances…everything about this is working for me.
— Great bit with Taran continuing to spray Bobby with silly string while all the men are holding in a frozen pose when Vanessa briefly comes back in the apartment to get her purse.
— The “Shake that sack” part is priceless.
— Even the stiff-in-tonight’s-episode Bruce Willis is coming off silly and loose here, for once tonight. And, if you know me, you’ll know I appreciate Bruce’s Three Stooges reference with him doing Curly’s spinning-around-on the-floor routine at one point.
— A solid yell from Vanessa at the end.
STARS: ****½

THE LADY GAGA SHOW
Lady Gaga (VAB) interviews Michael Kors (host) & Penelope Cruz (KAM)

— Wait, Vanessa as Lady Gaga?!? Ooooookay, unexpected casting there.
— Yeesh. I love Vanessa as much as the next SNL fan, but in this sketch so far, her Lady Gaga impression is NOT working, especially not that voice she’s using, which is all wrong for this role.
— Oh, and it goes without saying how I’m not crazy about seeing yet another display of one of SNL’s laziest, most overrelied-upon crutches: a celebrity-hosted talk show sketch. Now that I think of it, however, it does feel like SNL has thankfully been cutting back on the number of celebrity-hosted talk show sketches the last few seasons prior to this.
— Oh…my…god at that insane, over-the-top, high-pitched, shrieky delivery Bruce is using here, basically playing a caricature of a caricature of a caricature of a gay stereotype. (From what I’ve heard from some other SNL fans, the real Michael Kors, who Bruce is playing in this sketch, sounds NOTHING like this.) It’s almost like Bruce heard my complaint about how stiff most of his performances in this episode have been, and is now overcompensating for that by going the opposite end of the extreme, giving a super over-the-top, animated performance in this sketch. Whatever he’s trying to do here, I can’t say it’s working for me.
— The gag with Kate’s Penelope Cruz mispronouncing shampoo ingredients in her thick accent is just repeating what SNL did the last time Kate’s Penelope Cruz appeared, which was actually in Kate’s very first episode. I enjoyed that Penelope-Cruz-mispronouncing-ingredients gag the first time, especially since it was Kate’s very first big showcase on SNL, but I didn’t need a reprisal of it being questionably shoehorned into this completely unrelated Lady Gaga Show sketch.
— Aidy’s reaction to her Gaga-style makeover is hilarious, and is the only real positive I can find in this bad sketch (aside from a chuckle or two I got from Taran’s DJ character).
STARS: *½

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Roar”

WEEKEND UPDATE
Senate chaplain Barry Black (KET) wishes harm on obstructionist Congress

BRW gives the cautionary tales behind his three ill-advised tattoos

— Yeesh, Seth and Cecily’s jokes tonight are pretty awful so far.
— Good performance from Kenan, but I’m not all that crazy about the material in his commentary so far, aside from a laugh I got from the detail of his comment about beating someone with a pillowcase full of Skittles.
— Okay, Kenan’s commentary is getting better as it goes on.
— Speaking of getting better as it goes on, Seth and Cecily’s Update jokes are somewhat improving after a rough first two minutes. I especially liked Seth’s George Clooney joke. Cecily’s general Update delivery, however, still isn’t working much for me, aside from her comically-sleazy delivery during the punchline of her joke about sexual harassment.
— I like the return of the old recurring bit where Seth (and sometimes Amy Poehler, when she was his co-anchor) tell the same Update joke multiple times in a row, with a different punchline each time. Prior to tonight’s episode, Seth hadn’t done this bit in years.
— Cecily, in one of her and Seth’s multiple Jenner divorce jokes: “’It’s sad, but I’m excited to start my new life as a single middle-aged woman’, said Bruce.” The fact that the audience laughs hysterically at that joke just goes to show you how much society and standards have changed in the mere seven years since this episode originally aired.
— Great to see Brooks getting his own Update commentary as himself, especially given how the tradition of cast members doing stand-up-style Update commentaries as themselves had long been abandoned prior to this.
— Brooks is pretty solid here. He’s displaying good self-deprecating humor regarding the dumbness of his tattoos, and he’s coming off likable and relatable. It should’ve become a common occurrence for him to do Update commentaries as himself this season, but we end up only seeing him do one more, and it’s not until towards the end of this season.
STARS: **½

ARMAGEDDON
Kirby goes on about his heroic kitty cat during Armageddon-like mission

— The second and final appearance of Bobby’s Kirby character, a.k.a. the “I miss my little kitty cat” guy.
— Despite only appearing once prior to this, this character of Bobby’s surprisingly gets enthusiastic recognition cheers from the audience as soon as the camera first cuts to him in tonight’s installment.
— Like the last time this character appeared, Bobby has the amazing ability to make this very questionable character and material work for me, despite how unnecessary it feels to do this sketch a second time.
— (*groan*) Yet another instance tonight of Bruce hurting the timing of something by pausing for an awfully long time before delivering one of his lines.
— Also like the last time this character appeared, Kirby’s sudden panicked, emotional outburst when thinking his cat perished is making me laugh (even though it’s just a rehashed gag), though unlike last time, it’s not also making me almost shed a sad tear.
STARS: ***

CENTAURI VODKA
(host) is concerned about the back half of his centaur costume (JOM)

— A very funny brief shot of John Milhiser desperately gasping for air in the one second that Nasim lets his head out of the centaur costume. However, it’s sad that that one-second shot has been the ONLY noteworthy face time John has gotten in a live sketch so far in his SNL tenure. I recall hearing from some people who were familiar with John’s performance style at improv shows that he had a knack for physical comedy, which this sketch is somewhat utilizing, with the jerky, spastic leg movements John’s making in the back of the centaur costume. It’s just too bad his first (of what ends up being only TWO this entire season) noteworthy comedic showcase in a sketch has him hidden from the camera most of the sketch. Also, his chances for doing some good physical comedy in this sketch end up getting cut unexpectedly short, because Bruce…well, you’ll see a little later in this sketch review.
— Hilarious cutaway to Beck as Vin Diesel staring at a wall and then slowly turning his head away from it with a dumb, bewildered look on his face.
— Okay, we need to talk about that ending, folks, because boy, is there an interesting backstory to it. This sketch ends EXTREMELY abruptly and confusingly with Bruce suddenly making a comical exit, dragging John behind him inside the centaur costume, who suddenly goes from making jerky, spastic leg movements (because his character is running out of oxygen) to immediately acting like he’s dead, by making his legs be limp on the floor. As Bruce exits, Nasim comes back into the shot, looks confusedly at the exiting Bruce, then spins around in a lost manner, pauses awkwardly as if she doesn’t know what to do, and then randomly yells “Bruce Jenner…is horrified!” as the camera cuts to an exterior shot of the nightclub this sketch is set in, followed by the audience applauding and the sketch fading to black. Here’s the thing about all of that: the exit that Bruce made was mistakenly WAY TOO EARLY, when he still had minutes of material left to perform in this sketch. In the same John Milhiser interview I previously mentioned in my review of this episode’s Black Ops sketch, John talks about this incident. My memory of what John said is a little fuzzy, and thus, some of the details I’m about to relay might be a little off, but anyway, John explains that Bruce was apparently under the completely wrong impression of when he was supposed to exit this sketch. You see, in the script, after Nasim’s “Bruce Jenner…is horrified!” line, the camera was supposed to cut to Taran as Jenner making a comically horrified face, and then we were supposed to have a few more minutes of material dealing with Bruce (Willis) and John’s characters, with John’s character gradually dying from lack of oxygen, and his legs being seen lifelessly dragging on the floor by the culmination of the sketch (which is why John abruptly makes his legs be limp on the floor during the live version of this sketch’s ending when he realizes Bruce is making his exit way too early). All of that had to get scrapped on the fly because Bruce mistakenly exited the sketch very prematurely. That makes this the SECOND time tonight that Bruce completely fucked up the ending of a sketch. Oh, and you know that part I mentioned from this sketch about Nasim coming back into the shot, looking confusedly at the exiting Bruce, then spinning around in a lost manner, and then pausing awkwardly as if she doesn’t know what to do? She was not acting there, people. That was her GENUINE REACTION to Bruce mistakenly exiting this sketch early. In other words, Bruce botched the ending so badly that it resulted in a true professional like Nasim momentarily dropping character onscreen and physically expressing her genuine confusion (seen in the last above screencap for this sketch) over why the fuck Bruce is exiting the sketch early, leaving Nasim momentarily having no idea what to do next before she decides to go on with her scripted “Bruce Jenner…is horrified!” line that ends up not even getting the intended payoff. Yikes. This whole thing has got to be one of the most (if not THE most) botched sketch endings in SNL history.
— The botched ending of this sketch makes me wonder, did NBC ever re-air this episode? I think I recall hearing they didn’t, but I can’t say for sure. If they didn’t re-air this, I’m assuming it’s because they’re not proud of this episode (backing up that theory of mine is the fact that, according to what I once heard, practically NONE of this episode’s sketches are on YouTube), due to the weak quality of both the episode itself and Bruce’s hosting performance, not to mention all of the gaffes. If they did re-air this, does anyone know if they fixed the botched ending of both this and the Barbershop sketches by showing the dress rehearsal version of those, or did they just leave them unaltered?
STARS: Not even sure I can fairly rate this, given how much of the sketch we missed due to Bruce’s way-too-early exit. If I am supposed to give this a rating, I’ll give it a *½, but I feel bad for that, because if the sketch played out in full like it was supposed to, it most likely would’ve been a pretty good piece that got a decent rating from me.

PROTECTIVE SON
newly-fatherless Eddie mocks his mom’s (VAB) date’s (host) verbal slip-up

— Oh, geez. Look, I could tolerate a sequel to Bobby’s Kirby sketch, but I did NOT need a sequel to Taran’s Eddie sketch, a.k.a. the “glice” sketch, which I was iffy about in its first installment. Man, the writers must’ve been hard up for material this week if they’re resorting to bringing thin-as-hell characters like Kirby and Eddie back. I wonder if SNL intentionally only brings out this Eddie character whenever the show has a bad host (Justin Bieber, Bruce Willis). Well, I guess not, since SNL attempted to do an installment of this sketch when Zach Galifianakis (who is certainly nowhere near being a bad host) hosted the preceding season, but it got cut after dress rehearsal.
— Much like in the Kirby sketch earlier tonight, the audience surprisingly gives Taran’s entrance as Eddie a lot of recognition cheers, despite the fact that he previously only appeared in one sketch.
— “Chun”? That’s not even inherently comical-sounding like “glice” somewhat was. (Neither is “vrest”, for that matter, which was the slip-of-the-tongue word that the aforementioned cut-after-dress Zach Galifianakis installment of this sketch centered around.)
— Bruce, after Taran’s Eddie yells something in his face: “You’re spitting right in my mouth, Eddie.” The way Bruce said that line, I get the feeling it was an ad-lib.
— I like that we actually get continuity from the previous installment of this sketch, by mentioning the father character that Jason Sudeikis previously played, and writing him off in tonight’s installment by explaining he walked out on his family because he was sick of Eddie’s antics.
— Like the last time this sketch appeared, Taran’s doing his damnedest to milk laughs out of this nothing material, but, unlike the last installment of this sketch, there are a lot of moments here where Taran is unfortunately bordering on annoying the living HELL out of me. I know this Eddie character is supposed to be annoying, but he’s supposed to be annoying in a way that makes you laugh. I ain’t laughing. Instead, I’m almost more like how Bruce’s character is unhappily reacting to Eddie.
— Okay, I did get a laugh just now from Eddie tearfully saying Bruce’s character looks like he would take care of him if he were trapped inside a Japanese-named office building.
— Terrible ending.
STARS: *½

SIGMA
fraternity’s beer pong rules value whimsy over getting drunk

— At the very beginning of this, you can hear the SNL Band playing the show to commercial, before abruptly stopping when realizing their mistake. The decision to air this short film in this particular spot of the episode must’ve been made at LITERALLY the last minute (and the SNL Band must not have been notified), presumably because Bruce horribly botching the ending of the Centauri Vodka sketch threw this episode’s schedule out of whack, leaving the people at SNL scrambling to fill the unexpected extra airtime left in the show.
— Glad to see SNL continue to establish Beck and Kyle as SNL’s new short film guys.
— Kyle’s delivery in this is cracking me up so much.
— The convoluted, bizarre beer pong rules are hilarious. I especially love the “custom made baseball cards” one, and the “Chug! Chug! Chug!” bit with the toy train.
— In the preceding episode’s Beck/Kyle short, I praised the fast pacing of the gags within it. Well, that goes double for this, as the gags here come at you at a super rapid-fire speed, and I love that.
STARS: ****½

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Walking On Air”

E-METH
Rerun from 9/28/13. The fact that this is airing in the 10-to-1 slot tonight is yet another sign that SNL is scrambling to fill the unexpected extra airtime left in the show from the botched ending of the Centauri Vodka sketch.

GOODNIGHTS

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IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A poor episode, and the two pre-taped shorts were the only standout strong things all night. (Pre-taped shorts being the only standout strong segments in an episode is something I recall sadly going on to be a frequent trait of this season. Hopefully, I’m wrong about that, but we’ll see.) The thing about this episode is that the writing, while definitely bad in certain segments, wasn’t all that bad in some of the things that didn’t work. Some of this episode’s sketches had potential, but were ruined by Bruce Willis’ poor delivery and performances. I remember, earlier in the week this episode originally aired, online SNL fans were nervous about how Bruce would turn out as a host, given his infamous reputation at the time for being completely humorless, grumpy, and difficult to work with on movie sets. While it turns out he occasionally (VERY occasionally) displayed a surprising willingness to get silly and loose in this episode, I did not enjoy him as a host AT ALL in this stint. In addition to the aforementioned two separate instances of him completely fucking up the ending of a sketch, I was also put off by how slow and delayed his timing came off in some sketches (resulting in brief moments of dead air). And in general, I just didn’t find him funny in the slightest. From what I recall of his previous hosting stint in 1989, he wasn’t exactly a laugh riot there either, and I remember I had some issues with his performances in the Wayne’s World and Johnny O’Connor sketches from that episode, and he also made a bad gaffe at one point in the The Man & His Music sketch. However, he certainly didn’t hurt that overall episode anywhere near as much as he did this overall one. It also helped that that 1989 episode didn’t utilize him all that heavily, as there were several live sketches that night that didn’t have him in it, which is something that tonight’s episode would’ve benefited greatly from.

MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS

RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Sigma
Boy Dance Party
24-Hour Energy For Dating Actresses
NASA Shutdown
Armageddon
Weekend Update
Monologue
The Ol’ Barbershop
Black Ops
Centauri Vodka
Protective Son
The Lady Gaga Show

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Miley Cyrus)
a big step down

My full set of screencaps for this episode is here

TOMORROW
Edward Norton