Lord have mercy for what I’m about to walk into.
Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES FORUM
Bernie Sanders (Larry David) is irascible at Democratic candidates forum
— Interesting seeing Cecily reprise her Rachel Maddow impression for the first time since her third-ever episode on SNL.
— A funny comically very brief, pointless interview of Taran’s Martin O’Malley.
— Kate’s Hillary Clinton getting her usual good laughs from me and the audience.
— A pretty fun format and atmosphere to this cold opening.
— Kate’s Hillary, when asked whether she’s an extrovert or introvert: “I would say I’m a little bit of both. I’m an extrovert because I love meeting people and connecting with them and smiling with them. But I’m an introvert because no I don’t.”
— Larry David’s Bernie Sanders impression has officially become recurring.
— Like last time, Larry’s Bernie has an endless amount of very funny lines, such as his ridiculous vacuum pennies spiel.
— I love the running gag with this debate occasionally cutting to very tight shots of black people in the audience to remind viewers that this takes place in South Carolina. The “Bitch, please” look Leslie gives the camera in her tight close-up after Larry’s Bernie says his “crush” is every black person in America is particularly hilarious.
— A great LFNY subversion, with Larry’s Bernie delivering a perfectly Bernie-esque “Live from New York…aaaaaah, you get it.”
STARS: ****
OPENING MONTAGE
— Oddly, Darrell Hammond forgets to precede the featured players portion of his announcements by saying “Featuring”. He just launches into the featured players’ names right after announcing all of the repertory players’ names.
MONOLOGUE
Larry David [real] yells “Trump’s a racist!” at host & doppelgangers (TAK) & (DAH)
— (*deepest of all deep sighs*) Oh, God, here we go.
— Only a minute into this, and, similar to what I said in my review of his season 29 monologue, Donald Trump’s typical bragging bullshit is INSUFFERABLE, especially his “hilarious” talk about Rosie O’Donnell.
— Aidy at least gets a laugh from me and the audience with her delivery of her response to Trump introducing her as Rosie O’Donnell: “Sir, as I told you many times, my name is Aidy Bryant, I’m a cast member on the show.”
— The return of Taran’s Trump impression. Again, I definitely see what he’s going for in the impression, but something about the voice just isn’t working for me.
— I see this monologue is going a similar route to Trump’s season 29 monologue, where he was paired with a doppelganger/stand-in, played by Darrell. I already didn’t care for this premise then.
— Seeing Darrell’s Trump impression in tonight’s monologue kind of puts Taran’s to shame, even if Darrell’s impression is still stuck in 2004, being more accurate to Apprentice-era Trump than presidential candidate-era Trump.
— Larry David saves the day! He provides easily the biggest laugh of this dire monologue in the bit with him heckling Trump, as a reference to some kind of money-involved dare that a website offered towards any audience member to heckle Trump during this episode. Also, for those keeping count, this is actually the second time Larry David heckled a host as part of a scripted comedy bit in the host’s monologue. The first time was in Michael McKean’s season 10 monologue (“Hey, Lenny, how’s your short friend Squiggy?!?”), back when Larry was an SNL writer.
STARS: *½
WHITE HOUSE 2018
in 2018, host’s presidency is the best of all time (because fuck common sense); Ivanka Trump cameo
— Note: the “(because fuck common sense)” I added to the above synopsis for this sketch was suggested to me by Vax Novier, a frequent commenter on this site. Thanks, Vax.
— Oh, are you fucking kidding me with this sketch, SNL? (*sigh*) I see the Trump ass-kissing is out in full-force tonight.
— Even the mere atmosphere of this “hypothetical great Trump presidency” sketch feels very dead and depressing.
— Further proving my point about how incredibly dead and depressing the atmosphere of this sketch is, Ivanka Trump’s cameo is welcomed with a hearty round of ABSOLUTE DEAD SILENCE from the audience. That will probably end up being my biggest laugh all night from something involving a Trump.
— Ugh at the part with Taran’s worried status report turning out to be that the Trump presidency is going TOO well and has just been endless winning for Americans.
— A horrible ending with Trump’s speech into the camera confirming how great his presidency would go. The soul of whoever wrote this Trump dick-sucking sketch has got to be long dead by our current point in 2021.
— Overall, yep, fuck every single thing about this sketch. One of the absolute worst, most miserable (if not THE absolute worst, most miserable) things I have ever sat through in all 41 seasons I’ve reviewed in this SNL project of mine.
STARS: * (and even that’s being far too generous)
BAD GIRLS
women oversell the naughtiness of their delinquencies
— As I implied in my review of the Say What You Wanna Say short from the preceding season’s Dakota Johnson episode, the format and basic premise of this Bad Girls short feel like a companion piece to that Say What You Wanna Say short.
— Vanessa’s leaving-ice-cream-by-the-bread-section-of-the-supermarket bit is particularly funny to me.
— Glad to see I’m not the only one who does that trash bin trick that Aidy did here.
— Good ending to the bathroom scene with Kate.
— Pretty solid conclusion to this short, with Aidy and the rest of the “bad girls” changing their tune when Aidy’s worried husband, Beck, shows up.
STARS: ***½
LIVE TWEETING
host’s defamatory live-tweeting distracts cast members during sketch
— Trump: “I hate to break it to you guys, but I’m not gonna be in the next sketch.” Me: “YAAAAAAY!” Trump: “Since I can’t do it and can’t be in it, I’ll live-tweet it.” Me: “BOOOOOOO!”
— The comedic premise of a host negatively live-tweeting a sketch is actually very promising, but you can’t get laughs from them being Trump tweets, as the tweets featured in this sketch are TOO close to the kind of mean-spirited bullshit Trump would tweet in real life (and it ain’t funny then), without having the comedic slant needed for a sketch like this. And thus, instead of coming off funny, the mean-spirited insults in this sketch just come off…mean-spirited.
— Yep, just as I was afraid of, this sketch has been DREADFUL so far. Not only are these mean-spirited Trump tweets TOO realistically mean-spirited as I noted above, but comedy-wise, they’re lame and painfully unfunny as all hell. “Kate McKinnon was born stupid”? That’s the type of comedic one-liner that third-graders would consider high comedy.
— Very awkward execution of the ending “I love the blacks” tweet. Not even Leslie’s angry reaction to that tweet could save it.
— Overall, not too far behind that White House 2018 sketch from earlier tonight as a contender for the absolute worst, most miserable sketch I have ever sat through for my SNL project.
STARS: *
HOTLINE BLING
Drake (JAP) defends Ed Grimley-inspired “Hotline Bling” dorky dance moves
— A fairly fun atmosphere to this Hotline Bling parody, even if I’ve yet to laugh out loud at anything so far. It’s amusing enough, though.
— Ed Grimley out of absolutely NOWHERE. I would normally be welcoming of a Martin Short cameo, but I just feel bad for him appearing in this of all episodes. Martin deserves better than that. He’s adding nice life to this short, though.
— Aaaaaand here comes Trump to hijack this fairly fun piece. Does the show really expect me to just sit back and laugh at this jackass comically and lightheartedly potentially dancing his way into voters’ hearts?
STARS: **½ (Trump’s awful involvement lowered my rating)
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Alive”
WEEKEND UPDATE
COJ & MIC marvel at Ben Carson’s string of outrageous utterings
LEJ sees man-bitches’ texts to her as evidence of changing gender roles
Drunk Uncle is thrilled to have host representing his point of view
— Colin and Michael, save me from this episode!
— An awkward beginning with Michael being VERY late on his cue to say his “And I’m Michael Che” sign-on. As amusing as this awkward gaffe was, I can’t help but feel it also adds to the off, unfortunate vibe of this episode in general (including even little things like Darrell forgetting to announce the featured players as “Featuring” in the opening montage).
— Michael, regarding Jeb Bush saying he can fix things: “Which is true if the problem being fixed is the threat of ANOTHER Bush presidency.” Really? You’re really gonna say that in this of all episodes? Yeesh, this episode is even starting to make me a bit salty towards Jost and Che for once. I gotta check that saltiness at the door for this Update.
— Ha, a very Norm Macdonald-esque O.J.-is-a-murderer joke from Michael.
— Oh, I know at least Leslie’s gonna take my mind off of the misery of this episode.
— Great line from Leslie, regarding being sent suggestive eggplant emojis: “Don’t send me vestibles! Send me some MEAT!” And yes, “vestibles” is indeed how she pronounced “vegetables”.
— Michael, regarding the Kansas City Royals beating the New York Mets in the then-recent World Series: “(said in a professional-but-braggart manner) This week, Colin Jost spent three days in his dressing room crying like a bitch!” Colin: “……..Then I found out the Mets lost!”
— We get a reference to the people outside 30 Rock protesting Trump’s hosting of this SNL episode. I’m sure a large number of cast members in this episode wish they could join those protesters, but they probably refrained due to what happened to Nora Dunn after she boycotted a host.
— Two decent anti-Trump jokes from Michael (including him doing a takedown of Trump’s “Make America Great Again” slogan) that I’m surprised Trump didn’t throw a fit about earlier in this week.
— Drunk Uncle seems to be appearing less and less lately.
— It at least makes sense to have Drunk Uncle be a Trump fan. However, I am so oversaturated on Trump in this episode that all of the Trump talk in this Drunk Uncle commentary is souring me a little on it. Only a little, though, because this commentary is still funny, and at least the Trump theme of it is offering a bit of a shake-up to the usual formula of Drunk Uncle’s commentaries.
— I remember an SNL reviewer saying they had a problem with the audience actually applauding during their laughter at Drunk Uncle’s one-liner about Caitlyn Jenner: “HIS NAME IS BRUCE!”
— A good laugh from Drunk Uncle being handed a new glass of alcohol after angrily crushing his first one in his hand when being asked his thoughts on Hillary Clinton.
— At least Colin refrained from uttering the beyond-tired “That’s not anyone!” line that he (and formerly, Seth Meyers) usually responds to Drunk Uncle’s “That’s not me!” line with in every Drunk Uncle commentary. It looks like it took Colin everything in him to refrain from saying it, though.
STARS: ***½
ROCK BAND
laser harp player (host) is bitter that his bandmates hog the spotlight
— Good “bass face” from Beck.
— The already-worrying first minute of this sketch, with several bad James Anderson/Kent Sublette-isms (such as every character having stupid “comical” last names), is followed by an even worse reveal of Trump’s character and the conceit of his appearance.
— I’m now a few minutes into this sketch, and man, what the hell IS this whole laser harp bit with Trump that this sketch is centered around? It’s going nowhere and is both baffling and painfully unfunny.
— Overall, oof. Yet another “One of the the absolute worst, most miserable sketches I’ve ever reviewed” contender in tonight’s episode.
STARS: *
MR. CROCKER
Mr. Crocker (BEB) embarrasses family with his karaoke fixation
— A great sudden angry outburst from Beck.
— Beck’s performance in this lead role is absolutely great, and I really like how off-kilter this material feels.
— (*groan*) Another pre-tape that Trump stops dead in its tracks. Why this of all pre-taped pieces? This was going so damn well.
— And to top it off, as if Trump’s mere appearance in this wasn’t bad enough, they end this short by having Trump do a goofy and unfunny mugging-into-the-camera bit. Way to have the entire Trump-involved portion of this short leave a very sour taste in my mouth and make me completely forget why I was loving this short in the first place. The fact that Trump’s appearance in this short came after he ALREADY ruined so much of the show makes me even more salty on this than I probably should be.
STARS: ***½ (Trump’s awful takeover of this and the obnoxious ending with him mugging was bad enough to bring my rating of this short down a full star, which is a damn shame, as it was a VERY strong Beck Bennett showcase prior to Trump’s takeover, and would’ve gotten the highest rating out of anything in this episode so far)
MUSICAL GUEST INTRO
11 years after they did SNL together, Toots Hibbert (KET) & host catch up
— Ah, a big format break for a musical guest intro, and an interesting idea to have a callback to a host’s episode from 11 years prior. Again, though, this is another idea that would have infinite more potential had it been done with any host other than DONALD FUCKING TRUMP.
— Most of this material is absolutely nothing to write home about so far, but Kenan is at least pretty fun in his performance as Toots, and I got a good laugh from his line about eating some deep-fried parrot.
STARS: N/A (not a rateable segment)
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Bird Set Free”
TRUMP 2016
host doesn’t approve of vacuous ex-porn stars’ endorsement
— This ends up being the final installment of this recurring sketch.
— Showing how past-its-prime this recurring sketch is, Vanessa and Cecily’s comical one-liners tonight are only mildly chuckleworthy at best, and feel WAY too formulaic and old hat by this point. I’ve become too numb to this humor by now. A shame, given how fantastic this recurring sketch used to be in its heyday.
— There’s usually at least two very quotable great lines in each installment of this sketch, but so far in this particular installment, I can’t even find ONE.
— Bobby’s imitation of Trump is surprisingly not bad. I kinda want to say it’s better than Taran’s.
— Okay, we finally got a good line just now, from Cecily: “Yeah, maybe we’ll visit the White House. I haven’t been there since the 90s.”
— (*sigh*) Another Trump walk-on to ruin the progress of a sketch and bring down my rating of it, even though my rating of this sketch was already going to be low even before he appeared. Wasn’t all of Vanessa and Cecily’s talk about him in this sketch enough without us having to actually see him in person here? I was hoping the equal-time rule announced prior to this episode’s airing would fully keep Trump out of at least ONE live sketch tonight, but nope. And even when he’s absent for the majority of a live sketch, the sketch still has to be aaaaallllll about him, as this sketch and that fucking dreadful Live Tweeting sketch showed.
STARS: *½
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Simply put, 1) soul-sucking misery wrapped in a 90-minute package, 2) THE biggest mistake made in SNL history, and 3) absolutely deserving of its horrible reputation. That’s all that can be said here, after everything I’ve already said earlier in the review.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Democratic Candidates Forum
Weekend Update
Mr. Crocker
Bad Girls
Hotline Bling
Ex-Porn Stars
Monologue
Rock Band
Live Tweeting
White House 2018
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Tracy Morgan)
a gargantuan step down of unmeasurable proportions
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
(*first let me breathe a sigh of relief and happily tell myself “I did it!” after getting through the nightmarish task of having to review this Trump episode, which was by far the episode I was most dreading having to review ever since I launched this project*)
Elizabeth Banks, a.k.a. Not-Donald-Trump