December 10, 2016 – John Cena / Maren Morris (S42 E9)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE LEAD WITH JAKE TAPPER
Walter White (Bryan Cranston) is Donald Trump’s drug enforcement nominee

— A laugh from the explanation Kate’s Kellyanne Conway gives on just how Trump is draining the swamp.
— Bryan Cranston is performing as well as always, but I’m not crazy about the writing he’s been given here. I also find it to be a very questionable decision on SNL’s part to make Walter White pro-Trump.
— I did like the line just now, where, after Walter White explained he’ll have less competition now that the wall that Trump promised to build will result in nothing coming in from Mexico, Beck’s Jake Tapper asks “You mean jobs?” and Walter responds “……….Sure.”
— Wow, surprised by how short this overall cold opening was. Nice to at least have a break from Alec Baldwin’s Trump impression, but I still didn’t care for this cold opening.
STARS: **

OPENING MONTAGE
— Yikes, a huge and bizarre gaffe where, immediately after this opening montage starts playing, it suddenly gets cut off for a few seconds by a real commercial. Apparently, this wasn’t just a local affiliate issue, as I think I recall SNL fans from various states complained about the same thing happening.

MONOLOGUE
BOM, LEJ, KET challenge host in the style of wrestling opponents

— John Cena immediately coming off charming and composed.
— I like the sudden wrestling turn that Bobby’s Santa scene takes.
— I just realized how nice it is seeing Bobby get the spotlight as himself here, given his very reduced airtime this season.
— Man, the pure, raw energy that both Leslie and the audience bring at the beginning of Leslie’s scene is nothing short of fantastic, and sums up so much of Leslie’s appeal as a cast member.
— I love that Leslie’s “wrestling character” is just her as herself, and her reveal of that is followed by an awesome pre-taped wrestler intro clip of her. That was good enough to potentially become her new intro shot in SNL’s regular opening montage.
— Pretty funny visual of Kenan sneaking behind John with a folding chair.
STARS: ***½

HOOK A HUNK
bachelors are ignored when contestant (CES) falls for (host)

— This SNL era seems to do a lot of Dating Game-esque sketches like this: the one with Woody Harrelson, the one with Russell Crowe, and two from the following season with Charles Barkley and Bill Hader, respectively. I may have forgotten one or two.
— A decently funny conceit with how Cecily’s interplay with this dating show’s host is immediately having the type of romantic chemistry that she should be having with the contestants.
— I like how the Cecily/John romantic interactions are now taking a mock-dramatic turn, while the contestants try to remain unfazed and cheesily answer unasked questions that a bachelorette would typically ask in a show like this.
— Charming turn with Kyle and Beck bonding with each other when coming to terms with the fact that Cecily’s not going to give any of the contestants attention. I especially like the light, friendly punch to the arm Kyle gives Beck.
— I got a pretty good laugh from Mikey awkwardly asking, “Uh, so…should I just go, or…?” during the Cecily/John and Beck/Kyle make-out sessions.
STARS: ***½

THE KARATE TEEN
martial arts bully (host) destroys underdog (MID)

— John’s douchey, whiny-voiced delivery throughout this short is hilarious.
— A great and impressive visual effect of Mikey getting punched through four walls.
— An okay conceit to this short, though this feels like it would’ve been more fitting if it aired later in the episode.
— A very weak ending.
STARS: ***

SCIENCE PRESENTATION
Alabama football player’s (host) bad science project is graded leniently

— Aidy’s voice sounds very hoarse here.
— John’s banana’s presentation is very funny, especially him passing off an orange as a “round banana”.
— The overly lenient attitudes the teachers have towards John’s ridiculously simplistic science presentations are pretty funny.
— Good part with Kenan having to be held back from physically attacking Mikey, just because Mikey called out the unfair biased treatment John is receiving.
STARS: ***½

DYKE & FATS SAVE CHRISTMAS
Dyke & Fats rescue kidnapped Santa & take offense to their chief (host)

— Very surprising that they’re doing a second installment of this after THREE SEASONS.
— Showing how long it had been since the previous Dyke & Fats short, even the visual quality of the retro 1970s screen filter they’re using here looks different from the one in the first installment of this short.
— Good gags in the long opening credits sequence, even if these gags don’t measure up to the ones from the first installment of this short.
— I was about to say that the ending twist was very weak compared to the one from the first installment, but Aidy’s comical overacting when repeatedly yelling “WE’RE PAST THAT!!!” tickled the hell out of me.
STARS: ***½

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “My Church”

WEEKEND UPDATE
distressed Angela Merkel (KAM) feels isolated by shifting political tides

Cathy Anne sounds off about fake news, the alt-right, social media

 

— Yeesh, an uncharacteristically very lame opening joke from Michael.
— After a slow start, this Update has really taken off.
— Kate’s always pretty fun as Angela Merkel, and she has a lot of great lines here. This is one of her better commentaries.
— I always enjoy Kate-as-Merkel’s pining for Barack Obama.
— Colin, after the audience’s “Ohhhhhh” reaction to his joke about how Hillary Clinton could’ve suffered the same fate of South Korea’s impeached female president: “Cool! Well, it’s dress rehearsal!”
— Love Colin’s Tracy Morgan pet reindeer joke.
— Good to see Cathy Anne return to her new home: Weekend Update. Such a better place for her than sketches.
— A funny visual of Cathy Anne’s extreme psoriasis.
— Cathy Anne, on how McDonald’s needs to stop calling themselves McCafe: “I’m not here for a fancy clappuccino, I’m here cuz I burned some bridges at Wendy’s!”
— Cathy Anne, when saying Trump should get off the internet for a few days: “I know he’s watchin’!” IIRC, that line is referring to how Trump infamously tweeted a complaint about the preceding SNL episode’s “Trump retweeting average joes” cold opening right after it aired.
STARS: ****

WHERE’D YOUR MONEY GO?
pro athletes on game show have no self-control

 

— It’s already inherently funny and fitting having Kenan’s Charles Barkley host this particular game show, given the subject matter.
— Kenan’s Barkley, on John’s Rob Gronkowski: “You’re like if Dave & Busters was a person.” Very spot-on comment.
— Alex looks completely unrecognizable in this sketch. In fact, if I didn’t know that was him, I’d swear that was Justin Timberlake. Alex looks eerily Timberlake-esque to me behind those sunglasses and fake beard.
— I love Kenan’s way of always saying “scenario” as “scenarioooooo” (my writing-out of it doesn’t do it justice).
— Bobby is providing some good laughs as John Daly, especially him answering the “buy a cheetah” scenario with “I’ll buy that son of a bitch, he can be buddies with my shark.”
— Another good moment from Bobby’s Daly, with him promoting his brand of an alcoholic sports drink by saying: “Smirnoff Sport: it’s just blue vodka.”
— John has some good lines himself throughout this sketch, and his performance is fun as hell. Alex, on the other hand, is unfortunately saddled with the weakest material out of the three contestants, which is a shame, as this is the first (or one of the first) big comedic role Alex has ever gotten on SNL, and that’s also why it’s a shame that he looks so unrecognizable in it.
STARS: ***½

THE OFFICE TREE
ledge-hanging (AIB)’s co-workers are unhelpful during Christmas party

— Aidy’s voice still sounding very hoarse.
— Interesting seeing a rare(?) use of a stunt double in a live sketch. (I’m referring to the part where Aidy falls out of the window. At least I *think* that was a stunt double, judging from how long the camera held on the other characters before cutting back to “Aidy” falling out of the window.)
— Speaking of rarities in live sketches, I’m not sure if the occasional overhead shots of Aidy are live or pre-taped, but if they’re live, they’re an interesting and very unique camera angle for a live sketch in this era.
— Having Aidy panickedly yell most of her lines in this sketch seems like a questionable decision from SNL, given how hoarse her voice is tonight. Maybe she blew her voice out in rehearsals of this sketch.
— I’m finding the main comedic conceit of this sketch to be a little on the “ehhh” side. I think I’m more interested in this sketch for the aforementioned rare aspects than for the actual comedy.
— Decent ending.
STARS: **½

THROUGH DONALD’S EYES
Donald Trump’s first-person view is very selfish

— An absolutely fascinating approach to this Trump spoof, and I like how it has the aura of a weird, freaky dream sequence, even if that wasn’t the intention.
— A particularly classic visual of the mirror reflection of John Cena as Trump with giant hands.
— Excellent theme with how everyone from Trump’s point of view is speaking in broken sentences. I particularly love it in Bobby’s “Thing you promised” speech.
— A good ending with Trump’s self-dancing sequence.
— Overall, one of the absolute best (if not THE absolute best) Trump spoofs in this era, far better than SNL’s regular Trump spoofs would end up becoming after this point of the season. I almost wish the approach in this short could’ve become SNL’s regular approach to spoofing Trump these next four years (kinda like those first-person perspective Hail To The Chief sketches that Joe Piscopo used to do as Ronald Reagan) if they weren’t going to have an actual cast member play Trump.
— I’m not 100% sure, but I think I recall hearing that this short was written by Julio Torres. If so, man, he’s been having one of the most incredible starts an SNL writer has ever had. The number of segments he’s had so far this season that I’ve given a five or four-and-a-half-star rating to is astounding.
STARS: *****

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “80s Mercedes”

EROTIC BOOKSTORE
bookstore workers (AIB) & (host) behave like romance novel characters

— I initially had mixed feelings for Aidy and John’s romance novel-like mock-passionate conversations in the back of the bookstore, but their dialogue has grown on me BIG TIME as this sketch has progressed. There are so many hilarious and well-delivered lines between Aidy and John here, such as John’s “I am a dirt man who knows only SEX!” line, Aidy’s mention of her “tiny pink nips”, and John’s “I’ll grab your ghost butt with my ten-pound hands!” line.
— I love Kenan’s very trademark Kenan-like deep-voiced outburst of “GET…THE…BOOK! GET THE DAMN BOOK!”
— Kenan is probably the only person who could’ve sold the corny ending.
STARS: ****½

UNITED STATES OF TALENT
brothers’ (host) & (MID) owl just craps & barfs

— Cecily and Beck’s character names on the bottom of screen seem to be displayed in the wrong order. (seen in the first above screencap for this sketch)
— The fact that there’s oddly only one celebrity judge in this America’s Got Talent-like show makes me wonder if this sketch was the victim of last-minute trimming for time reasons, and was originally supposed to feature three or four judges. If so, I wonder if the last-minute trimming and hasty approach to this sketch is the cause of that aforementioned technical error with Cecily and Beck’s character names.
— Blah, even for the low standards of pooping/vomiting gags, this is weak.
— They’re relying VERY heavily on Kenan to provide all the laughs in the post-pooping/vomiting portion of this sketch, but, as reliable as he usually is by this point of his tenure, not even he can put over the lines he’s been given here. Also, I wonder if the reason he has such a heavy amount of lines in this portion of the sketch is because his lines were possibly originally meant to be divided between three or four celebrity judge characters instead of just one.
— Cecily’s straitlaced, professional delivery of “got ass in its brains” made me laugh.
STARS: *½

GOODNIGHTS

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IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Yet another good season 42 episode. The first half of this episode didn’t contain any standout segments though was still fine, but starting with Weekend Update, this episode had a few strong segments. As expected, John Cena was a pretty fun host.

MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS

RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Through Donald’s Eyes
Erotic Bookstore
Weekend Update
Dyke & Fats Save Christmas
Where’d Your Money Go?
Science Presentation
Monologue
Hook A Hunk
The Karate Teen
The Office Tree
The Lead with Jake Tapper
United States of Talent

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Emma Stone)
a slight step down

My full set of screencaps for this episode is here

TOMORROW
Casey Affleck hosts the Christmas episode