Author: Stooge

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November 20, 2004 – Luke Wilson / U2 (S30 E6)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

WHITE HOUSE APPRENTICE
George W. Bush (WLF) fires Colin Powell (FIM) a la The Apprentice

— An okay and timely premise with Will’s President Bush making his firing decision in the style of The Apprentice.
— The camera cuts are pretty off during the portion of the sketch right now, as the camera keeps cutting to close-ups of performers AFTER they’ve said a line.
— A laugh from Darrell’s Donald Rumsfeld disparagingly referring to Finesse’s Colin Powell as James Earl Jones.
— President Bush to Colin Powell: “You seem to be the only one in this administration who knows anything about fighting a war. Obviously, you don’t fit in.”
— Ending was a little on the weak side.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
HOS uses cellphone photos to refresh host’s memory of their wild night

— A very Horatio Sanz-y entrance from Horatio, on a motor cart.
— Funny to see in retrospect how photos taken on cellphones back in 2004 look so cheap by today’s standards.
— Blah, I am not caring for these photos at all.
— Aaaaaaand there goes season 30’s obligatory and unfunny reliance on a man-on-man kiss for a cheap laugh.
— Overall, oof.
STARS: *½


DEBBIE DOWNER
Debbie Downer spoils Thanksgiving dinner with her depressing digressions

— Oh, no.
— I’m a minute-and-a-half into this sketch, I am freakin’ STONE-FACED during this entire Debbie Downer routine so far. The audience’s hysterical laughter throughout this sketch, and the defending of this character that I’ve seen in the comments section of some of my reviews make me feel so alone in not understanding the appeal of this Debbie Downer character AT ALL.
— This character is almost reaching the same level of annoyance to me as The Whiners from the early 80s. Then again, at least the Whiners sketches usually always had funny straight man performances from the main foil in the sketch. There’s nothing funny about the straight man performances in the Debbie Downer sketches. The straight men in these sketches just blandly look disappointed in reaction to Debbie Downer’s one-liners.
— Okay, I kinda smirked just now when, after a depressing one-liner from Debbie Downer about cooked turkeys, the usual “Wah-wahhhhh” camera zoom-in is subverted a bit by the camera doing a zoom-in on the cooked turkey on the table for the first “Wah” sound effect, then does a zoom-in on Debbie Downer on the second “wahhhhhhh” sound effect.
— Aaaaaaaaand cue the obligatory “It’s the number one killer of domestic cats” line. Ugh. Again, STONE-FACED.
— What was with Rachel’s odd long pause before saying “Guess who’s got eczema”? It hurt the timing of what was supposed to be a big laugh line (not that it would’ve made me laugh anyway).
— What in the world?!? After Debbie Downer’s line to the cooked turkey at the end of this sketch, the cooked turkey gets up and walks out of the shot (presumably via the use of wires from above or some other kind of trickery). Rachel looks GENUINELY surprised and taken-aback by this (first screencap below), as if this wasn’t a planned part of the sketch, and stifles her laughter, then attempts to do her trademark deadpan Debbie Downer look into the camera as the camera zooms in on her, but she keeps helplessly smirking from what had just happened (second screencap below).

What in the world was all that about? Was the walking-away turkey gag a surprise addition to this sketch on SNL’s part to catch Rachel off-guard and get her to crack up ala the first Debbie Downer sketch? If so, I wonder how the sketch was originally supposed to end.
— The sketch-ending audience applause slightly drowned out whatever Debbie Downer’s one-liner was in the bubble shot of her during the closing title sequence, but knowing these sketches, I doubt the ending line would’ve made me laugh anyway.
STARS: *½


THE AMERICAN TRAINWRECK AWARDS
pitiful celebrities fete their peers

— I recall this being a pretty popular sketch among online SNL fans back when this season originally aired, and it being considered one of the better sketches from this weak season.
— I’m already getting a laugh right from the start, with Amy and Maya’s drunken, stumbly, unintelligible entrance as Anna Nicole Smith and Diana Ross. I usually don’t care for sketches or Update commentaries focused around Maya’s Diana Ross impression, but it’s working in this particular sketch.
— SNL makes yet another meta reference to the Ashlee Simpson SNL incident, a reference that actually receives applause from SNL’s audience during this sketch.
— Seth is cracking me up in his performance as Mickey Rourke.
— In the announcements of the nominees for Male Trainwreck, I got a laugh from President Bush being nominated “for Iraq”.
— Fred’s Tony Danza voice is very funny.
— I like Fred’s Danza mentioning in passing the title to Toby Keith’s song: “It Ain’t Rape If You Know Her”.
— Rob Riggle is always perfect at playing rednecks. He’s both very believable and funny in those roles.
— The ending of this sketch, which spoofs the notorious Ron Artest-involved wild fight from the previous night’s Pacers/Pistons NBA game, was obviously a last-minute addition to this sketch, and was the perfect way to end this.
— Overall, this sketch still works for me and it was definitely fun. It also, in retrospect, provides an interesting time capsule of the year 2004. However, I’m not quite sure I would call this one of the best sketches of this season anymore, but we’ll see when we reach the end of the season.
STARS: ****


TV FUNHOUSE
by RBS- George W. Bush fudges heterosexuality by swapping gays’ minds

— What’s with the odd animation style? Doesn’t look like the usual animation of Smigel’s TV Funhouses AT ALL. Is Smigel using a different animation company tonight?
— This cartoon is doing nothing for me so far, not even the wild, raunchy make-out session between a now-heterosexual Rosie O’Donnell and Richard Simmons.
— Okay, I got a laugh just now from a now-heterosexual Ellen DeGeneres’ deep-voiced delivery to a now-heterosexual Ryan Seacrest of the line “I want you inside me”, even if it was a cheap line.
— This cartoon is getting out of hand, and not in the good way.
— What the holy fuck was with that lame-ass “Bush switches brains with a dog” ending?
— Overall, a rare miss from Smigel around this time period. Between the bad humor and the different-looking animation that I wasn’t digging, this felt so off for Smigel’s standards.
STARS: *½


BEST BUDS
intimacy between old pals (host) & (ROR) creeps out wives (MAR) & (AMP)

— Rob Riggle finally gets his first real lead role in a sketch… and unfortunately, it has to be THIS. A typical bad season 30 homoerotic sketch, where we’re basically told “Haw haw, look at the two guys acting gay-ish with each other!” It also feels redundant seeing this immediately after a bad gay-themed TV Funhouse. Man, what is with season 30’s obsession with hacky gay humor?
— Making this sketch even worse for me is the constant cutaways to a silent Maya and Amy’s put-off facial reactions to Rob and Luke’s homoerotic ways of feeding each other.
— I recall an online SNL fan back at this time saying this sketch felt like a rip-off of a (far superior) season 17 sketch with Dana Carvey and Linda Hamilton romantically feeding each other in a baby-ish manner at a restaurant, only with a homoerotic theme this time. I can see some similarities between the sketches, but I think calling tonight’s sketch a rip-off is a stretch. However, we will be getting a sketch in the very next episode that has always kinda reminded me of a certain OTHER season 17 sketch (one involving Sharon Stone), only with the genders reversed, though I’m not calling that a rip-off either. We’ll see when we get there, though.
— Overall, this was absolutely awful. Not a single laugh from me. What a waste of Rob.
STARS: *


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Vertigo”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Arnold Schwarzenegger (DAH) supports amendments to the Constitution

TIF & AMP ignore janitor (MAR) as she empties their wastepaper baskets

kids’ toy Bump-It seems to want AMP to give it a hand job

— Meh, I continue to not care much for Darrell’s weak Arnold Schwarzenegger impression.
— Darrell’s overall Schwarzenegger commentary tonight just came and went with no real laughs from me. Felt like typical snoozeworthy political writing from 2000s-era Jim Downey. At least it wasn’t a cold opening this time.
— Another reference to the previous night’s Pacers/Pistons fight, this time with the use of actual footage of it (with a bizarre, unfunny, and unnecessary voice-over by Amy). This reminds me that, IIRC, there was an Update commentary cut after this episode’s dress rehearsal, which had Finesse as Ron Artest and Kenan as Artest’s publicist both addressing the previous night’s Pacers/Pistons fight. Jason Sudeikis, still just an SNL writer at this point and not yet a cast member, had a brief walk-on during this commentary as a passerby, who then gets pummeled by Finesse’s Artest.
— Ugh, why did Amy feel the need to explain the joke of the doctored photo of David Lee Roth as an EMT, as if we couldn’t see for ourselves what was going on in the picture? A comedian explaining their own joke is always a comedy sin.
— The whole raunchy bit with the Forte-voiced “Bump It” toy is absolutely priceless.
— This is the third episode in a row with a solid Fred Armisen commentary on Update (even if this one tonight is barely a Fred commentary, given the fact that it focuses far more on Amy and the “Bump It” toy). Fred has been on fire lately. Of this season’s cast, Fred and Will were who I considered at the time this season originally aired to be the only two consistently-reliable saving graces in this weak season, especially when it came to Update commentaries.
STARS: **½


COOLEST TEACHER AT BENTON TOWNSHIP HIGH SCHOOL
(host) threatens (SEM)’s claim as Coolest Teacher At Benton Township H.S.

— An amusing separate opening title sequence and theme song for Seth and Luke’s cool teacher characters respectively.
— Horatio rebelliously throwing his desk out the window made me laugh out loud.
— Aaaaaaaand there goes Horatio’s obligatory cracking up at himself, even causing Seth in turn to crack up.
— Funny reveal of Horatio’s high school student character being old enough to drink.
— What’s with Seth’s terrible acting when he starts getting emotional and teary-eyed after the students have turned on him?
— Another pre-cast member Sudeikis walk-on! And J.B. Smoove! Together! (the last two above screencaps for this sketch)
— Great twist with Luke’s character turning out to be an old, mean teacher in disguise.
— I like the ending exchange between Amy and Seth’s characters, with Amy asking Seth “Are you still gonna take me to get my abortion?” and Seth responding, while smiling into the camera, “With a smile on my face.”
— An overall very solid sketch for this season’s standards, despite a few minor flaws.
STARS: ****


THE FALCONER
Donald & dog attend state fair while The Falconer & (host) are trapped

— This sketch makes its first appearance in an entire year.
— I like the opening bit with The Falconer unintentionally making rock star puns when talking about the rocks he’s buried in.
— I love The Falconer’s stretched-out yell of “NOOOOOO!!! MOOOOOOORE ROOOOCCCKS!!!” during stock footage of a rock avalanche, which seems to be Will comically vamping for time while SNL crew members cover Luke in rocks off-camera.
— A good twist on the usual “Donald the Falcon flies off and has fun somewhere when he’s supposed to be getting The Falconer some help” aspect of these sketches, with Donald being accompanied by a dog this time.
— Solid bit with Donald and the dog communicating with each other in animal sounds, translated by text on the bottom of the screen.
— Very entertaining montage of Donald and the dog’s wild adventures together at the state fair.
— A good laugh from the part with the dog licking up Donald’s vomit.
— This sketch has now hilariously gone off the rails, when the dog doesn’t follow his cue to hand Luke the dynamite stick he’s holding in his mouth, and instead aimlessly wanders around the sketch’s set (at one point even stopping briefly to sniff the falcon puppet that Will is holding) while Luke desperately keeps trying to get the dog to hand him the dynamite stick, all the while Will unsuccessfully tries to keep the sketch going by delivering the mock-dramatic speech his Falconer character is supposed to deliver, which can’t even be heard due to the audience’s laughter at the dog’s antics. A hilarious mess. Probably one of my all-time favorite animal bloopers on SNL.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own”


BUSINESS TRIP
as (host), (SEM), (KET) get sozzled, their patter recurs & escalates

— I absolutely love the progression to this, with a drunk Luke, Seth, and Kenan repeating the exact same conversation over and over as they get increasingly drunker, only the wording in their repeated conversation each time gets increasingly brash and inappropriate. A creative and very fun structure to this sketch, and it comes off especially refreshing in a weak season like this.
— A great loud outburst from Seth of the random line “WE PLAYED SPORTS!!!!”
— I’m six episodes into this season, and I gotta say, I’m not finding Seth to be quite the irksomely bland performer we got shoved down our throats that I recall him being this season. Even though I still don’t feel he was ever meant to carry SNL on his back as the show’s star like the show seemingly tries to get him to do this season in light of Jimmy Fallon’s departure, I’ve been finding myself enjoying quite a number of Seth’s performances so far this season, including this sketch.
STARS: ****½


GOODNIGHTS
musical guest performs “I Will Follow”

— Right out of the gate, we see an interesting deviation from the usual goodnights, with the out-of-the-ordinary set up of the cast standing behind Luke and Bono both seated on the floor at the front of the home base stage.
— Now Bono has gone over to the musical guest stage, leading to a third U2 performance tonight. Awesome.
— Ah, halfway through the performance, there goes Bono up to his old tricks from U2’s last SNL appearance in season 26, in which he freely wanders off the stage and around the studio while still singing. This is always a blast to see.
— Wow. Now we get a still-singing Bono practically giving a random female audience member in the front row a lapdance. Judging from the woman’s very emotional joy during this, you can tell this is truly a moment she’ll cherish for the rest of her life. This is touching to watch.
— Now a still-singing Bono has gone over to the SNL cast on the home base stage, and you can tell the cast is absolutely loving this performance. It’s great to see their genuine reactions here. Bono then hugs an absolutely hysterical Amy Poehler, bringing her to tears. These goodnights cannot get any more epic.
— Just now, at the end of the song U2’s performing, Bono adds in a poignant utterance of “Saturday Night Live, live, live, live.” I’ve seen some online SNL fans back at this time theorize that Bono’s very heavy emphasis of the word “live” is his way of referencing the then-recent Ashlee Simpson SNL incident and telling us that, unlike her, HE’S actually performing live.
— While the audience is applauding after U2’s performance has finished, Bono exclaims “One more! One more!”, and the audience goes WILD. You can then hear music for the next song start up right as the show-ending Broadway Video and SNL Studios production logos appear, meaning we home viewers don’t get to see this impromptu fourth U2 performance.
— Overall, absolutely freakin’ amazing goodnights.

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— It’s easy to let the epic U2 goodnights cloud my judgment and give this episode more credit than it deserves. In fact, it’s easy to let the entire post-Weekend Update half of the show cloud my judgment and give this episode more credit than it deserves. As strong as all of the sketches in the post-Update half were, and as amazing as those goodnights were, I can’t ignore the fact that the pre-Update half of the show had A LOT of duds. Aside from the fun American Trainwreck Awards sketch and the okay-but-a-little-forgettable cold opening, I didn’t like ANYTHING in the pre-Update half of the show. And I wasn’t crazy about Update itself either (minus the great “Bump It” segment), as usual in the Fey/Poehler era. A very bipolar episode, in which almost everything was either really great or really terrible; no middle ground. (Kinda reminiscent of the Brittany Murphy episode from season 28.) Still, the combo of the American Trainwreck Awards, the great “Bump It” Update segment, the post-Update streak of strong sketches, and those epic goodnights all add up to an overall enjoyable-though-extremely-uneven episode, making this the first episode all season that I actually liked. Sad that it took THIS long for season 30 to have their first good episode, and even sadder that their first good episode is still as spotty as this.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Liam Neeson)
a step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Colin Farrell

Posted on

November 13, 2004 – Liam Neeson / Modest Mouse (S30 E5)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

CONGRATULATORY CALL
victorious George W. Bush (WLF) covets John Kerry’s (SEM) carefree life

— Already a laugh right from the very beginning of this, with the funny way Will’s President Bush says “Thanks, Ashley” to his secretary, pronouncing “Ashley” in a smug, laid-back manner (“Ash-lehhh”). It’s so many little things like that which make Will’s Bush impression enjoyable.
— I continue to not care for Maya’s take on Teresa Heinz-Kerry, but at least she didn’t break out into a random, unnecessary song this time.
— A mildly amusing surprise appearance from Darrell’s Al Gore.
— What’s with the occasional awkward long pauses between Will and Seth’s lines to each other?
— Overall, this was pretty meh, and kinda dead at some points. Completely forgettable as a whole.
STARS: **


MONOLOGUE
castmembers echo host’s vow not to allow stereotypes into the show

— A big laugh from when, immediately after declaring he won’t be playing any unflattering stereotypical black roles, a smiley Finesse continues with “…and that’s why this is the only time you’ll see me on the show tonight.” I like that self-deprecating dig at how utterly TERRIBLE Finesse’s airtime has been so far this season. Aside from the Queen Latifah episode, he’s gotten absolutely NOTHING to do this season so far (and even with the Latifah episode, it’s obvious that the only reason Finesse was used so much that night is because a black woman was hosting). He appeared as a freakin’ background extra with no lines in a Tony Blair press conference sketch from the Jude Law episode, and was completely absent from the other two episodes this season (Ben Affleck and Kate Winslet). This is Dean Edwards levels of under-utilization.
— Horatio’s brief appearance as himself here ends up being his ONLY appearance all night. Hallelujah to that. And he was actually tolerable here, playing it straight and low-key.
— Yikes, Liam Neeson’s delivery of that Tiger Woods joke was pretty awful, causing it to receive a very uncomfortably tepid audience reaction.
— Always feels weird at this point of Darrell’s run to see him play himself. He seems a little looser here than he typically comes off when playing himself.
— Judging from how he’s dressed, the nameless Native American character that Fred appears very briefly as seems to actually be Fred’s Billy Smith character, the Native American stand-up comedian character Fred has done on Weekend Update.
— Always fun to spot a Jason Sudeikis sighting in his pre-cast member days where he was an SNL writer (the second-to-last screencap for this monologue). We’ll be seeing him pop up as an extra in quite a number of sketches and monologues this season before SNL adds him to the cast in the homestretch of this season.
— Speaking of SNL writers who are always a welcome sight, John Lutz is always particularly funny whenever he plays a character who gets randomly insulted by someone, like he does in this monologue.
STARS: ***


PRE-WEDDING NIGHT
on the eve of her wedding, Star Jones (KET) takes phone calls

— OH, GOD. I mentioned in my review of the Paparazzi sketch from the preceding season’s Jennifer Aniston episode that the particularly heavy and annoying focus this 2003-2005 period of SNL does on pop culture and celebrity gossip reaches a nadir when they eventually place a sketch about freakin’ Star Jones’ wedding, of all things, as the big lead-off sketch of an episode. Well, here we are at that episode.
— It is kinda refreshing, though, to see the underused Kenan and VERY underused Finesse both starring in the lead-off sketch of an episode.
— Kenan-as-Star-Jones’ deep-voiced angry outburst when the phone first rings seems to be a follow-up to the Chris-Farley-esque deep-voiced outburst Kenan’s Star Jones had at the end of a sketch from the preceding season’s Donald Trump episode.
— Feels odd seeing Maya’s Liza Minnelli impression without Chris Kattan’s David Gest. She also, for some reason, seems to be speaking in a much froggier-sounding voice than she did in her previous Liza Minnelli appearances. It’s quite annoying.
— Rachel’s Barbara Walters, on the other hand, is an impression that always works for me.
— WTF? Liam Neeson as Sean Connery?!? Isn’t Darrell still in the building tonight?
— Seeing a Barbara Walters and Sean Connery portrayal as part of a split-screen sex-related late night phone conversation with Star Jones reminds me of the cold opening from the season 24 Ray Romano episode, where, at one point, we see a split-screen phone sex conversation between Cheri Oteri’s Barbara Walters and Darrell’s Sean Connery.
— Okay, they are overdoing THE HELL out of Kenan’s deep-voiced angry outbursts every time the phone rings. It stopped being funny after the first time. They seem to be relying heavily on it to mask the lack of any actual funny material during the scenes with Star and her closeted husband.
— Another SNL writer who’s always a welcome sight: J.B. Smoove!
— Damn, it turns out that not even J.B. Smoove can save this weak sketch. His scene sadly fell flat. This sketch is a bust.
STARS: *½


YOU CALL THIS A HOUSE DO YA?
squalid Irish home receives a makeover

— I remember when this episode originally aired, the RTE 2 station identification at the beginning of this sketch made me initially think SNL was strangely going to attempt a Top O’ The Morning sketch WITHOUT Jimmy Fallon, given the fact that those Top O’ The Morning sketches always opened with the exact same RTE 2 station identification, right down to the exact same quivery Irish-accented voice-over from Steve Higgins. This turns out to be a new Irish TV show sketch starring Seth.
— I like the idea of this sketch’s concept, and it’s a decent way to parody the craze of home makeover shows from this time period.
— The fast-motion renovation scene is hilarious.
— I’m enjoying the wild ending fight in the background between Liam and Rob while Seth is wrapping up the show.
STARS: ***½


DR. PORKENHEIMER’S BONER JUICE
— Rerun from 10/2/04.
— The ending from the original airing of this commercial, in which we see Rob “pitching a tent” under the bedsheets while Amy says to the camera “My guy? Yeah, he’s happy with his boner”, has been completely re-edited to now show Amy saying that line while Rob is simply standing behind her with his arm lovingly around her.

In other words, the original ending bit with Rob “pitching a tent” has been replaced with a much tamer and non-comedic bit. Did somebody at NBC complain about the “pitching a tent” visual being too risque?


PARROT
(host)’s date with Phoebe (RAD) is disrupted by her large parrot (FRA)

— I remember absolutely LOVING this sketch back in 2004 when it originally aired, back in the days when Fred could do no wrong for me.
— Fred is so spot-on and funny in his imitation of a parrot.
— Even the bird poop ending made me laugh.
— Overall, a pretty fun sketch, but to be honest, I don’t find this anywhere NEAR as classic as I used to. The writing for this sketch seemed pretty thin after a while, but Fred’s performance made this sketch work.
STARS: ***½


WAKE UP SAN DIEGO
theme music entrances presenters (host) & (MAR)

— There goes Maya doing that lean-all-the-way-back-in-a-staccato-manner dance move in YET ANOTHER sketch. I lost count of the number of sketches she’s done it in over the years, but the point I want to make is, it was only funny to me the first time, in that MTV Spring Break sketch from season 27.
— I got a minor laugh from Maya’s casual passing mention of having been through an identity theft and kidnapping.
— Blah, I see where this sketch is going (Maya and Liam constantly getting up and dancing to EVERY instrumental that plays on the show), and I don’t like it. This feels like the type of Maya Rudolph/James Anderson collaboration piece that I typically never like. (If I’m correct about Anderson being the writer behind this sketch, then I bet if he had done this sketch nowadays, he would’ve had Cecily Strong in Maya’s role. And I typically dislike the collaboration pieces Cecily often does with Anderson as well.)
— Much like the constant dancing, Maya and Liam constantly asking Chris as the stage manager what song just played is also not working for me. I did kinda get a laugh, though, from one of Chris’ answers, about one of the instrumentals being from a Starbucks CD.
— Overall, this sketch got almost no laughs from me.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Float On”


WEEKEND UPDATE
John Ashcroft (DAH) rues failure to implement more unconstitutional ideas

TIF & AMP use Barbie dolls to re-create Tara Reid’s wardrobe malfunction

college student (SEM) makes excuses for missing presidential election

TIF & AMP perform their critically-panned song “The Party’s Cancelled”

deaf comic Ritchie B’s (FRA) interpreter (KET) nixes jokes about blacks

— Darrell’s John Ashcroft impression hasn’t appeared in years. Hell, Will Ferrell was still on the show regularly playing Bush the last time Darrell’s Ashcroft appeared, just to show you how long it’s been.
— Darrell’s Ashcroft commentary started slow, but his list of ideas is getting funnier the more absurd it’s getting.
— Uh-oh. We get our first of a few instances throughout the Fey/Poehler era in which Tina and Amy both use freakin’ Barbie dolls to re-enact an entire news story, which irked some online SNL fans during these years, including myself. My complaint about these Fey/Poehler Barbie bits, besides the fact that I don’t find them remotely funny, is that they seem too “inside” for my likes, as if they’re just an excuse for Tina and Amy to freely and childishly goof around with each other on the air with the use of Barbie dolls under the guise of a news story re-enactment, and try to amuse themselves more than the audience, even though, yes, the audience seems to be enjoying tonight’s Barbie piece, and yes, I’m well aware there are viewers who would enjoy this too. This type of stuff just isn’t for me, though, and I know I am not alone.
— Seth attempts a new character.
— As I mentioned in my review of Seth’s Update commentary as himself from the season 28 Nia Vardalos episode, his Update character in tonight’s episode feels like a variation of an Update commentary Will Ferrell once did as a fratboy giving his thoughts on the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, only Seth isn’t as good at pulling off this type of character as Ferrell was. As I also mentioned in the afore-linked review, Seth’s Update commentary from that episode briefly mentions a quarterback at his old high school named Doug Stradley, which happens to be the name of the fratboy character Seth is playing in tonight’s Update commentary.
— Yikes, a lot of Tina and Amy’s jokes tonight are fucking awful, even moreso than usual. That Special Olympics Robbery joke from Amy just now was particularly lame.
— Oh, geez. ANOTHER side segment with Tina and Amy tonight, with them now breaking out into a party song. Ugh, this bit is awful, pointless, and, much like the Barbie dolls bit, too self-indulgent for my likes.
— Fred debuts his newest of many Update stand-up comedian characters.
— I wonder if Fred’s sign language throughout this commentary is real. Probably not, but he’s doing such a great job of making it look real. Kinda like how Bill Hader can make his Italian gibberish in the Vinny Vedecci sketches sound real.
— Kenan’s taken-aback reaction to Fred’s racist joke about Adam and Eve not being black is very funny.
— This character from Fred is great, and Kenan is a perfect foil here.
— Overall, this was the second episode in a row with an unusually long and jam-packed Update. I remember around the time tonight’s episode originally aired, an online SNL fan who, much like me, didn’t like the Fey/Poehler era of Update, had a theory that SNL themselves weren’t happy with the way the Fey/Poehler Updates had been going this season so far, and this online SNL fan’s evidence of that was the fact that SNL started “frontloading” episodes around this time (“frontloading” meaning when a majority of the sketches in an episode are placed in the pre-Update half, causing Update to be buried in a later timeslot than usual) and also started padding Update with a large and lengthy amount of guest commentaries in an apparent attempt to mask the awfulness of Tina and Amy’s jokes (this is the same method Dick Ebersol previously used in the second half of season 7 to mask how terrible the anchors’ jokes were on Update, or SNL Newsbreak as it was called that season). As much as I’d like to think that people at SNL were indeed of the opinion that the new Fey/Poehler era of Update was really not working and needed some serious help, I highly doubt it. I’m sure Lorne was fully aware that the media and general SNL audience were eating up the Fey/Poehler Update duo. I seem to be in a small minority of SNL fans who feel that the Fey/Poehler era of Update is terrible.
STARS: **


APPALACHIAN EMERGENCY ROOM
bumpkins explain origins of medical crises

— I recall hearing that the Ben Affleck episode from earlier this season attempted a variation of Appalachian Emergency Room, called Appalachian Police Station, but it got cut after dress rehearsal.
— Wow, not even Amy’s usual hilarious delivery of her exit line got much laughs from tonight’s audience. I’d like to think the preceding terrible Weekend Update killed the energy of tonight’s audience, but again, I know that’s not true.
— Ha, I absolutely LOVE Rob’s look as a redneck. He’s also doing a great redneck voice to go along with it.
— Hmm, much like Amy’s exit line earlier in this sketch, the ending of Rob and Liam’s scene surprisingly received complete silence from the audience.
— What’s with Seth flubbing his greeting to Chris’ character?
— Wow, it turns out the audience is absolutely dead during this ENTIRE sketch. There is little-to-no reaction from them during ALL of this sketch’s gags (“Rightfully so”, I’m sure any of you readers who don’t like these sketches are thinking to yourselves), which is unusual compared to how responsive SNL’s audiences were in previous Appalachian Emergency Room installments. Maybe tonight’s Weekend Update really did kill the crowd’s energy after all.
— Okay, Chris’ car alarm trick (where he manages to activate his car’s alarm with the car keys stuck up his rectum by just simply moving his body in a certain way) woke the dead audience up for a moment.
— Overall, I usually like Appalachian Emergency Room, but tonight’s installment felt off, and not just because of the dead audience.
STARS: **


DRUG-SNIFFING DOG
stoner (host) tries to persuade cop (CHP) to loan him a drug-sniffing dog

— Given the tidbit I just shared about a cut-after-dress Appalachian Emergency Room variation that was set at a police station, it’s funny how the sketch that immediately follows tonight’s Appalachian Emergency Room sketch is a sketch that takes place at a police station.
— I already like this premise, with Liam’s harebrained scheme to borrow a police station’s drug-sniffing dog to find his lost weed at home.
— So many funny lines from Liam in his various absurd made-up stories, especially the one about his son not wanting any cops at their house because he watched footage of the Rodney King beating on A&E.
— In the past (as seen here in the original 2004 review I did for this episode back when it first aired), I felt that Liam’s wooden-ness dragged this sketch down, but I can appreciate his very low-key energy more now, even though I can’t help but kinda wonder if another host would’ve brought a little more to Liam’s role in this sketch.
— Chris, as always, is absolutely perfect as a deadpan straight man.
— Wow, it feels like Kenan has appeared in almost EVERY single sketch tonight. I’m pretty happy for him, after how very underused he was in the first three episodes of this season.
— The little kid running around the characters seated on the couch reminds me of Amy’s Kaitlin character whenever she runs around in circles repeatedly shouting “Rick!”
— Good ending.
— Overall, not only was this a solid sketch and not only was there something about it that felt refreshingly different for this SNL period, but this will probably end up standing out as one of the best sketches of this overall weak season.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Ocean Breathes Salty”


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— This episode was a bit on the forgettable side, despite a solid 10-to-1 sketch, a fairly fun Irish home makeover sketch, and two memorable and well-liked-among-SNL-fans-back-in-2004 Fred Armisen pieces (Parrot, deaf comedian). There was just too much typical season 30 badness surrounding those positive aspects of this episode. I hate to say it, but my god, this young season is now 0-for-5 so far in episodes that I like. This is insane. In all 30 seasons I’ve covered so far in this SNL project of mine, I have never dealt with a season starting off with THIS long of a losing streak until now.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Kate Winslet)
a mild step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Luke Wilson / U2

Posted on

October 30, 2004 – Kate Winslet / Eminem (S30 E4)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

OSAMA’S ADDRESS
undecided voter Osama bin Laden (SEM) considers USA presidential election

— OH, GOD. Not another damn translator cold opening. Is it season 28 again?
— Pretty funny disclosure from Seth’s Osama Bin Laden about him being hunted down by the John Kerry campaign to register as an American voter.
— Good line about Michael Moore.
— A few dead spots for me here.
— Not sure how to react to the bit with Seth’s Osama admitting he would physically beat the hell out of Teresa Heinz-Kerry if she were his wife, which the audience actually applauds.
— SNL makes their obligatory meta reference to the preceding episode’s infamous Ashlee Simpson incident, with Seth’s Osama ranting to America about “your lip-synching pop stars.”
— Overall, surprisingly not bad for a translator cold opening.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
host sings “Pick Yourself Up” & tap dances to prove she’s no lip-syncer

— Our second meta reference to the Ashlee Simpson incident.
— OH, GOD. Two episodes in a row with a song-and-dance monologue?!?
— At least there’s no typical use of SNL cast members as backup dancers, like we usually get in song-and-dance monologues.
— What a complete bore this monologue is. While I want to find a charm to this monologue, it’s not working for me AT ALL. Maybe it would work if this hadn’t come one episode after we just GOT a damn song-and-dance monologue (and frankly, the last one was a little better).
— I recall hearing that Kate would later disclose in an interview that she hated doing this monologue, which, if true, makes me like this monologue even less (if that’s possible).
STARS: *


RAP NIGHT WITH CHUBB HOTTY
obese rapper Chubb Hotty (HOS) in duet with Norah Jones (host)

— OH, GOD. The debut of a horrible short-lived Horatio Sanz recurring sketch. IIRC, this recurring sketch is going to be pure torture, and a quintessential display of season 30’s shittiness. Oh, and let me just ask: Really, SNL? You’re placing THIS as the lead-off sketch of the night? Ooh, this is gonna be a LOOOONNNNG episode, isn’t it?
— Believe it or not, this is actually a character that Horatio tried to get on the air many years earlier. Chubb Hotty was originally supposed to debut in the John Goodman episode from way back in season 24, which was Horatio’s first season. The Chubb Hotty sketch written for that episode was going to be some kind of MTV “behind the music”-type special on Chubb, but the sketch ended up not making it to the live show.
— Kinda funny to hear the VERY mixed reaction SNL’s studio audience has to Chubb Hotty’s line about the Red Sox winning the World Series. Sadly, that’s most likely going to be the most interesting part of this entire sketch.
— Awful character from Horatio, and this sketch is filled with lots of very hacky fat jokes. This is insufferable. Feels like an even worse variation of that fat acting coach sketch that Horatio did in the preceding season’s Kelly Ripa episode.
— There goes Horatio pulling a Chris Farley once again by doing a pratfall through a breakaway prop. This particular pratfall came off so desperate.
— Kenan’s a great straight man here, and has been the ONLY thing coming close to holding this terrible sketch together.
— As if this sketch hasn’t already been unwatchably hacky enough, now we get a gigantic fart from Horatio’s character. It’s official: I am in hell.
— Aaaaaand there goes Horatio’s obligatory breaking, where he cracks up at himself for no reason. You know what, SNL, just end this fucking sketch already before it finally makes me crumble to pieces.
STARS: *


MRS. DR. FRANKENSTEIN
creation (FRA) of husband-seeking Mrs. Dr. Frankenstein (host) is gay

— OH, GOD. (Has literally every single sketch tonight so far made me start off by saying “OH, GOD”?) Not only is this one of a COUNTLESS number of bad homoerotic sketches this season, but it’s our very first of an also-countless number of a specific type of homoerotic sketch this season where the entire premise is just “What would it be like if (insert whoever here, like Frankenstein, Jeff Foxworthy, a spaceship crew, etc.) acted like a gay stereotype?” This stuff on SNL was considered very hacky even back at this time in 2004/2005, but it comes off particularly groanworthy in our current age of LGBT acceptance.
— Oh, no. And now here comes a fucking musical number from Fred’s Gay Frankenstein.
— Ugh at Kate’s “I made a homo” line.
— Even the audience has stopped laughing by this point of the sketch.
— Overall, not a single laugh from me at any point during this sketch, making this the third consecutive horrible segment in tonight’s episode. We’re only 20 minutes into this episode, and it’s ALREADY destroying me.
STARS: *


TV FUNHOUSE
“Fun With Real Audio” by RBS- John McCain labors to laud George W. Bush

— Please save me from the hell that is this episode, Smigel.
— Some laughs from John McCain’s secret frustration over having to laud President Bush at a rally.
— Good little bit with McCain’s dog being so disgusted by him that he spits on him.
— A hilarious Apocalypse Now-esque turn right now.
— What was with that lame-ass hokey ending, with McCain just saying “This is tougher than I thought.” THAT was the best ending Smigel could up with?
STARS: ***


CAMPAIGN STOP
at a campaign rally, Bill Clinton (DAH) overshadows John Kerry (SEM)

— There’s almost a “So bad, it’s good” quality to Will’s attempt at a Bruce Springsteen impression.
— I love the bit with Darrell’s Bill Clinton borrowing Clarence Clemons’ sax to impress the crowd at the John Kerry rally.
— Decent part with Darrell’s Clinton repeatedly putting his trademark thumbs-up in and out of the door to demonstrate to Seth’s John Kerry how much the crowd outside the door loves him.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Mosh”


WEEKEND UPDATE
AMP gives her takes on singers’ reactions to Ashlee Simpson’s lip-syncing

SEM is thrilled that the Red Sox won the World Series; Johnny Damon cameo

WLF belts out a song about strange Halloween memories from his youth

newly-naturalized citizen Diego (FRA) explores Democracy Plaza

Elton John (HOS) slams Ashlee Simpson with “Tiny Dancer” variant

— Our THIRD meta reference to the Ashlee Simpson incident.
— Even though I rarely like it whenever Amy does a “bit” during the Fey/Poehler era of Update, I’m actually kinda impressed by her rapid-fire string of comical impressions of various singers during her “famous singers react to the Ashlee Simpson SNL incident” joke, including some singers who Amy has played on SNL before (Avril Lavigne, Britney Spears). That’s a bit I can picture Jimmy Fallon doing back when he was on the show, given his knack for impressions of celebrities (particularly singers).
— Pretty good Update segment with Seth, keeping up the tradition of his Red Sox fan Update bits.
— I love Tina introducing Will as “resident sex symbol Will Forte”.
— Yes! We get the debut of Will doing an Update song as himself, which would go on to be a recurring thing throughout his SNL tenure, and has always been among my many favorite things Will has done on SNL.
— Will’s bizarre, hard-to-follow Halloween song is absolutely HILARIOUS. I am loving this.
— Hmm, according to a news story from Tina, Halloween masks have predicted the outcome of the last six presidential elections (as of 2004), then Tina says that this year, Bush masks have been the winner. That ended up being another accurate prediction of who would win that year’s election. Makes me wonder if Halloween masks also correctly predicted the outcome of the later 2008, 2012, and 2016 elections.
— Fred debuts a new Update character that ends up never becoming recurring, even though he kinda seemed set up to become recurring.
— Even though, on the surface, this kinda feels like a standard Hispanic Fred Armisen role, I’m really enjoying this character. Like I say about some of the stuff Fred has done in these early seasons of his, this character has a good Andy Kaufman vibe (e.g. Foreign Man), and this pre-taped format with him at Democracy Plaza is a fun use of him. This pre-tape also feels like a throwback to man-on-the-street comedy bits Fred was known for doing as various characters before he joined SNL.
— Amy’s Daylight Savings Time joke was particularly weak, even for her standards.
— WTF? Horatio’s goddamn Elton John impression in ANOTHER Update commentary, just a few episodes after he already did an Update commentary? What did I do to deserve this punishment?
— Ugh at the obligatory lame gay sex joke early on in this Elton John commentary. Yeah, we get it. Elton John is openly gay.
— Our FOURTH meta reference to the Ashlee Simpson incident.
— I remember how this Horatio-as-Elton-John “Ashlee Simpson, you’re a phony” song bothered some people at the time, who felt SNL was pushing it and going a little too far in their Ashlee-bashing tonight.
— At least Horatio’s Elton John song tonight ended up being pretty short.
— Overall, was this a season 30 Weekend Update I watched, or was it a season 7 SNL Newsbreak? This Update was JAM-PACKED and felt never-ending. Too bad the Fey/Poehler portions are still mostly tepid to me (which is yet another similarity tonight’s Update has to season 7’s SNL Newsbreaks, even if I don’t find Fey/Poehler quite as dire as the crap that Brian Doyle-Murray et al. regularly churned out at the news desk in season 7). They continue to not work for me as an Update duo.
STARS: **½


MALL
at the mall, Kaitlin has second thoughts about getting her ears pierced

— This sketch has officially become recurring.
— As I said in my review of the first installment of this sketch, I have a much bigger appreciation for these Kaitlin sketches nowadays, after utterly despising these sketches when they originally aired. Back when they originally aired, I (and I’m sure some others) couldn’t look past the annoying, shrieky, and rambly nature of Amy’s Kaitlin character. I can now enjoy these sketches for the realism, slice-of-life, and heart that both Amy’s characterization and these sketches themselves are going for.
— Kate Winslet is very believable in this type of role that I wouldn’t have been able to picture her pulling off before seeing this sketch. By the way, I’m pretty sure this is the first thing I’ve had to say about Kate in any of tonight’s sketches. And believe it or not, this ends up being her LAST sketch appearance all night. She’s not in ANY of the remaining sketches. Geez, she’s gotta be one of the most invisible hosts in then-recent memory. Word has it that she was very nervous about doing the show, which is why SNL used her so little.
— Another nice touch of amusing realism to this sketch is Maya and Rachel as jogging middle-aged women in the background all throughout this sketch.
— The interplay between Kaitlin and Rick in these sketches is always enjoyable, especially whenever she secretly discloses to him that she wants to get out of a situation she’s gotten herself into with someone else, and he tries to get her out of it. There’s something both funny and really sweet about that.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Proof [real] perform “Just Lose It”


GOODWIN WIG & TOY
Halloween-averse Glenda Goodwin has non-scary costumes

— OH, GOD. (Sorry, I just wanted to say that one more time tonight.) Those awful “Second Time Around” sketches from season 28 really soured me on this Glenda Goodwin character. At least they took her out of the “Second Time Around” setting tonight, though.
— This sketch is in a similar vein to the Attorney-At-Law sketch that the Glenda Goodwin character made her debut in, only this one has her advertising a Halloween costume shop.
— Overall, meh. This forgettable sketch just came and went with only a few mild laughs from me. Nothing noteworthy at all in this sketch. The format of this sketch worked better in the aforementioned Attorney-At-Law sketch that Goodwin debuted in.
STARS: **


ELECTORAL MAP
Tim Russert (DAH) & Tom Brokaw (CHP) consider colors for electoral map

— I liked Chris-as-Tom-Brokaw’s line when seeing the flesh tone color used for some of the states: “Now Florida looks like a semi-erect phallus.”
— This sketch is extremely boring. Tom Brokaw and Tim Russert just discussing an electoral map’s colors? How is this supposed to be enjoyable? How did a sketch with this premise even make it on the air? Kinda like the monologue earlier tonight, I want to find a charm to this premise, but nope. Not working for me in the slightest. Maybe in a much better episode, I’d appreciate this sketch’s simplistic, realistic, and dry premise more, whereas in an episode like tonight’s, this sketch is just adding to the episode’s dead feeling.
— Not sure how to feel about that non-ending.
STARS: *½


GOODNIGHTS

— At the very beginning of these goodnights, the camera catches the very end of an odd exchange Kate and Eminem have, where she’s seen asking him an offended-sounding “What?!?” before realizing she’s on the air and then begins her goodnights speech. She had a sly smirk on her face immediately after her offended-sounding “What?!?”, which makes me wonder if her seemingly offended response to whatever Eminem said to her was just playful joking around.

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Not a good episode at all. Despite a few things I liked, this episode featured WAY too many flops, some of which are definitely among the worst sketches of this entire season (and considering the poor quality of this season as a whole, that’s saying something). The bad one-two punch of Chubb Hotty and Gay Frankenstein early in this episode was particularly brutal. I remember when this episode originally aired, this was the official point where I started realizing that something was going horribly wrong with this new season. Oh, and for anyone keeping count in my reviews, we’re 0-for-4 in good episodes this season so far, in my opinion. I’m pretty sure this is the first season I’ve reviewed where I went THIS far into it without liking a single episode. (The closest I can think of to this happening before is in season 22, which, while an overall good season, had a pretty rough start with its first three episodes.)


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jude Law)
a mild step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Liam Neeson

Posted on

October 23, 2004 – Jude Law / Ashlee Simpson (S30 E3)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

HARDBALL WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS
Ed Gillespie (SEM) smiles & Zell Miller (WLF) fumes

— Seth’s overly smiliness as Ed Gillespie is pretty funny.
— Mary Beth Cahill? Okay, I’m assuming that’s a real person Amy is playing, and not just SNL making a very random meta reference to a certain obscure short-lived featured player from season 17.
— Wow, Darrell badly screwed up his Bush/“beer night” joke, but swiftly tried to get a laugh out of the flub by making gibberish sounds.
— Amy’s various crude lesbian euphemisms all throughout this sketch, in regards to Dick Cheney’s daughter, had me howling back in 2004. Not sure how to think about it today, especially considering how BEYOND burned out I’ve become by this SNL era’s overabundance of unflattering gay material that now comes off badly dated and hacky.
— Oh, fuck yeah! Here we go, the debut of Will’s legendary Zell Miller!
— Will’s insane ranting as Zell Miller is absolutely PRICELESS, as is the great visual of Will’s face genuinely turning purple and veiny over the course of his yelling throughout this sketch. Simply classic.
— The “PISTOLS AT DAWN, MATTHEWS!” bit was a fantastic ending to the Zell Miller interview.
STARS: **** (This would’ve just been three stars until Will’s Zell Miller came along and bumped it up a full star. He was THAT good.)


MONOLOGUE
via song, MAR, TIF, RAD, AMP dub host The Most Beautiful Man In The World

— Meh, a song-and-dance monologue.
— I like Rachel’s “I wanna be against the law… Jude Law, that is!” line during the song.
— Another funny Rachel line, with her rhyming the name Jude with “about to be screwed” before getting panickedly cut off by Jude.
— Ashlee Simpson’s appearance here feels kinda awkward to watch in retrospect, given what we now know will be happening with her later in this episode. She actually made two additional sketch appearances in dress rehearsal. I wonder if at least one of those two sketches was scheduled to air late in the live show, but had to get cut after what happens with Ashlee later tonight (we’ll get there, folks).
— I like the song suddenly turning into a sampling of “Hey, Jude”.
— Overall, I wasn’t crazy about this song-and-dance monologue as a whole, but Jude came off fun enough and there were a few good parts during the song.
STARS: **½


GREEN SCREEN
actor (host) is vexed while shooting Sky Captain-ish green screened movie

— When Jude says he’s never worked with a greenscreen before, I like Seth’s director character attempting to calm him down by telling him “And I’ve never worked with live actors before.”
— The fireball part of the movie filming was pretty funny, especially Jude later questioning why he would bite a fireball.
— Seth, when directing Jude on how to act throughout a scene that’s currently being filmed: “Not so gay.” Ugh. Oh, early 2000s SNL and your endless gay jokes…
— Meh at the “These are my street clothes” ending with Will.
STARS: **½


THE DYSON TOILET
James Dyson (FRA) has invented a toilet that doesn’t employ suction

— Fred’s doing a good impression of the guy from the real Dyson commercials.
— This unfortunately continues this season’s theme of low-brow commercials, after stuff like Dr. Porkenheimer’s Boner Juice and Short & Curly.
— I would say this is a unique and funny concept, but this concept feels kinda reminiscent of the Mike Myers-starring Jonathan Pryce toilet commercials from a season 19 episode. I doubt the similarity is intentional, but either way, I feel those Pryce commercials did this concept better.
STARS: **½


NINTH PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE
George W. Bush (WLF) & John Kerry (SEM) rehash themes in ninth debate

— OH, GOD.
— The fact that SNL buried this debate sketch right in the middle of the show instead of placing it as the cold opening like the first two Bush/Kerry debate sketches probably shows that even SNL has become fully aware of how tepid these Bush/Kerry debate sketches have been.
— I guess SNL calling this the “Ninth Presidential Debate” and treating it as if a whole bunch of wacky antics happened during the third-to-eighth debates (in reality, there have only been three Bush/Kerry debates) is SNL’s way of working around the fact that the REAL third Bush/Kerry debate, which this sketch is parodying, actually aired the previous week when SNL didn’t have a new episode. Instead of spoofing a debate that’s over a week old, SNL just shouldn’t have even bothered with a debate sketch this week. Ain’t like we’re waiting with bated breath over SNL’s take on the third debate anyway, given how hugely disappointing all the other debate sketches have been this season.
— Once again, OH, GOD. We get more cheap jokes tonight about Dick Cheney’s daughter being a lesbian. (And yes, I know that aspect of this particular sketch is referencing the real John Kerry’s mentions of Cheney’s daughter’s lesbianism during the real Bush/Kerry debate. Still, enough is enough.) By the way, has there been a gay joke in EVERY SINGLE SKETCH tonight so far? I didn’t mention it earlier, but the monologue had one too.
— The audience is getting a much bigger kick out of this sketch than I am. I haven’t had a single laugh yet.
— A particularly groanworthy and lazy part of this sketch right now, with Seth’s John Kerry retelling the famous long-winded urban legend about a construction site mishap.
— I finally got my first laugh of this sketch, from Will-as-Bush’s goofy, over-the-top delivery of “ex-agg-er-a-tions”.
— Ugh, make this sketch end already. I can’t take anymore.
— Mercifully, this has now ended, thus also ending SNL’s run of presidential debate sketches this season. Congratulations, SNL – you’ve dropped the ball with every single debate sketch you’ve done this season. Wow. This is the first election season in SNL history where NONE of the presidential debate sketches were a hit. (Season 22 doesn’t count, for reasons I mentioned in my review of the “debate” cold opening of this episode.) This is especially a shame when considering the reputation SNL has long had for being really “on” when covering elections. What the hell happened this season?!?
STARS: *½


PARIS HILTON APOLOGIZES
Paris Hilton (MAR) apologizes for using the n-word, lists hot black guys

— Blah, a cheap attempt at a laugh by having Jude, of all people, play Nicki Hilton. This casting decision also feels a bit like a possible attempt to imitate another “two famous young singers or socialites deliver an address to the nation together” sketch: the “A Message from Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson” sketch from the preceding season, in which Justin Timberlake dressed in drag to play Jessica Simpson alongside Jimmy Fallon’s Nick Lachey (but at least THAT sketch was actually funny).
— So far, I’ve gotten only one laugh in this sketch: George Hamilton being included as one of the black guys who Paris finds hot.
— Overall, this sketch did almost nothing for me.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Pieces Of Me”


WEEKEND UPDATE
ghost of Babe Ruth (HOS) let Boston Red Sox escape Curse Of The Bambino

— Some really weak jokes so far tonight.
— Okay, Tina’s black voters joke just now made me laugh.
— Blah, a Horatio Sanz Weekend Update commentary, which almost always spells doom, even without Jimmy Fallon there anymore to indulge Horatio in his unprofessional antics.
— This Babe Ruth commentary of Horatio’s is painful and completely laughless so far.
— Not even a walk-on from Rachel can save this Horatio commentary.
— Oh, god, and now there goes Horatio cracking up at himself for no reason, AS USUAL. (*sigh*) It really is something how unwatchable this guy has become in these later seasons of his.
— After a more professional performance in the Update from the preceding episode, Amy has unfortunately gone back to her cutesy, silly, giddy persona from her first Update, which is such an ill fit for this format.
— Didn’t care for Tina and Amy’s goofy bit with the bananas.
— Just now, Tina and Amy, together, do a variation of Jimmy Fallon’s recurring “You’re welcome” routine from some of the preceding season’s Updates (in which, during a joke about people receiving STDs, the punchline would be Jimmy looking into a side camera and delivering a sly “You’re welcome”). At the very end of Tina and Amy’s variation of that routine tonight, Tina even slips in a “Hi, Jimmy” into the camera.
STARS: **


BUSH/BLAIR PRESS CONFERENCE
Tony Blair (host) follows George W. Bush’s (WLF) lead at press conference

— Meh, I’m burned out on seeing Will’s Bush tonight after that horrible debate sketch earlier.
— I’m liking the voice Jude is using as Tony Blair.
— Just now, Will’s Bush has repeated his over-the-top delivery of “ex-agg-er-a-tions” from the debate sketch earlier tonight. It was funnier the first time.
— Why has Jude suddenly begun lisping halfway through this sketch?
— I’m enjoying the interplay between Will’s Bush and Jude’s Blair throughout this sketch, and Jude’s performance is fun, but the material itself is kinda washing over me.
— I like Will-as-Bush’s random nicknames to the reporters, such as him calling Rob Riggle’s reporter character “Sasquatch”.
— This sketch has ended without Fred or Finesse getting to do or say ANYTHING at any point during the sketch, even though they can be seen throughout this sketch as two of the reporters (Fred can be seen to Rob’s left in the second-to-last above screencap for this sketch, and Finesse can be seen to Amy’s right in the last above screencap for this sketch). What’s up with that? Why were Fred and Finesse reduced to playing silent background extras in this sketch? Were they just thrown into this sketch at the last minute because SNL felt bad that neither of them had anything else to do tonight? (Sure, Fred starred in that Dyson Toilet commercial, but it was pre-taped. Finesse, on the other hand, has NOTHING tonight, live or pre-taped. After receiving tons of airtime in the preceding episode, I see things have sadly gone back to status quo for Finesse.)
STARS: **½


TRUMP PROMO
Donald Trump (DAH) tapes a Halloween-themed promo for The Apprentice

— The first of several sketches this season with Darrell’s Donald Trump filming a commercial. I recall these sketches being popular among online SNL fans when these originally aired, so it will be interesting to revisit them.
— Darrell’s Trump voice sounds like it’s gotten even more accurate since the preceding season. Maybe working with the real Trump when he hosted in the preceding season (*shudder*) has made Darrell perfect his imitation of Trump’s voice.
— Lots of laughs from so many of the dumb things Darrell’s Trump is doing throughout this. Very fun sketch.
— A lot of SNL’s old Trump material from older seasons such as this one can be hard to laugh at in retrospect nowadays, due to… well, you know. This particular sketch, however, is just good ol’ timeless silliness that still holds up, at least in my opinion.
STARS: ****


JANE EYRE
Jane Eyre’s (RAD) employer Mr. Rochester (host) keeps booty call in attic

— Funny performance from Rachel, who always cracks me up when playing Victorian-era women like this.
— Some funny dialogue here and there, but something about this sketch isn’t fully clicking for me.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest aborts “Pieces Of Me” & walks offstage

— Welp, here we are, folks…
— After a gaffe in which a vocal track from the song that Ashlee Simpson performed earlier tonight, “Pieces Of Me”, has mistakenly begun playing here, exposing Ashlee as lip syncing, Ashlee awkwardly stops dead in her tracks for a long time (the first above screencap for this musical performance), then randomly dances around in a very goofy manner (the second above screencap for this musical performance). After a few seconds of this goofy dancing, she stops, helplessly wanders around the stage a bit while playfully laughing at the whole crazy situation that’s happening, then finally just slowly walks offstage (the third above screencap for this musical performance).
— Now Ashlee’s band, left alone onstage while still playing the instrumental to the song, starts really jamming on their instruments while occasionally looking at each other with awkward smirks (the last above screencap for this musical performance).
— And now a Jude Law SNL bumper photo has abruptly showed up, followed by an unscheduled cut to a commercial break.
— Well, now that that’s over, I just have to say: OH. MY. FREAKIN’. GOD. Wow. Just wow. What a disaster. Never before in SNL history has anything on this level happened.
— As much as I wish I could say I saw this piece of SNL history when it happened live, there’s actually a pretty funny story about that. I did watch this SNL episode while it was airing live, but back in these days, I would always tune out whenever musical performances were on. So during the live airing of tonight’s episode, as soon as I saw Jude Law say “Once again, Ashlee Simpson” and the camera then showed Ashlee onstage doing some bizarre pseudo-rockstar dance moves while her band starting playing, I rolled my eyes at Ashlee and turned away to do stuff on my computer, located next to my TV. Ashlee’s musical performance was mere background noise to me as I was busy on my computer, but then I noticed in the corner of my eye that a Jude Law SNL bumper photo was on the TV screen while instrumental music from Ashlee’s musical performance could still be heard off-camera. I then turned fully towards the TV in confusion and wondered to myself “Why is SNL showing Jude Law’s bumper photo only 40 seconds into this musical performance? Why is instrumental music from the musical performance still playing off-camera? What happened?!?” And then SNL cut to a commercial break, and I was absolutely baffled. I said to myself in my thoughts “What the fuck?!? Were there technical difficulties during the musical performance, and SNL was forced to abort the performance and cut to commercial early? Has that EVER happened in the history of SNL? Hmm, come to think of it, I never heard Ashlee singing while this performance played on the TV as I was on the computer.” Thankfully, I had been recording this episode on my VCR (as I did every week back in this era), and thus, I stopped the VHS tape I was recording this episode on, and then rewinded the tape a little bit to answer my burning question of what the hell could’ve happened during Ashlee’s performance that would warrant SNL cutting it off after only 40 seconds. And as I watched the tape, boy, I will never in my life forget my reaction. I. Was. Absolutely. FLOORED. I could not believe that something like this had just happened on SNL.
— Needless to say, the media and general public’s reaction to this whole Ashlee Simpson incident was HUGE. I remember it being heavily featured on news broadcasts and entertainment shows the next few days, and people on the internet could not stop talking about it. (Just imagine if Twitter was around back then.) Speaking of the internet, after the aforementioned thing where I replayed my VHS tape right after Ashlee’s performance to see what had just happened, I immediately rushed to my computer to go to the (now-defunct) saturday-night-live.com message board, so I could see what everybody was saying about the Ashlee mishap. And, as you could imagine, the message board was absolutely FRENZIED with activity at the moment, as tons of board members were simultaneously posting about the Ashlee incident. In fact, there were so many board members simultaneously posting that it caused the board to crash for a while. (Besides this instance, the only two later instances I can remember in that message board’s long history where the board crashed due to too many board members simultaneously posting about something HUGE that had just occurred on SNL is 1) when Jenny Slate accidentally dropped an f-bomb in her very first episode, and 2) when SNL’s big 40th Anniversary Special was airing.)


BEAR CITY
by T. Sean Shannon- anthropomorphic ursines in a car wreck

— This recurring season 30 piece makes its debut.
— The fact that this is airing immediately after a commercial break shows that SNL must’ve put this on as an emergency after what had just happened with Ashlee Simpson.
— Nice to hear the voice of the great Fred Willard, playing the narrator in the intro sequence of this short.
— I notice the intro sequence of this inaugural Bear City short didn’t include the part where two little kids, who we’re told are the only human survivors on the planet, are attacked by several bears. I guess that part was added into the intro sequence of later Bear City installments.
— I like the detail of one bear giving the other bear an “All Bear Auto Insurance” card after their car accident argument.
— Overall, I actually found this short pretty amusing. I recall absolutely HATING these Bear City shorts when they originally aired, but I can appreciate this type of humor more now. That being said, I have a feeling that these Bear City shorts will come off better left as a one-off instead of a season-long runner. We’ll see. While I have a more open mind about these Bear City shorts nowadays, I can’t help but worry that I’ll do a slow-burn towards them over the course of this season.
STARS: not even sure if these Bear City shorts warrant a rating, but: ***


THE ADVENTURES OF PETER O’TOOLE & MICHAEL CAINE
soused Peter O’Toole (host) & Michael Caine (SEM) are disoriented

— I can already tell from the opening title sequence that this is going to be a fun sketch.
— I love Seth and Jude’s performances as a drunk Michael Caine and Peter O’Toole, randomly treating their visit to this fast-food restaurant as if they’re hosting a talk show.
— Lots of funny odd little talk show segments all throughout this, such as “Guess the Accents”.
— A good laugh from Caine and O’Toole assuming Kenan is Othello.
— Speaking of Kenan, this small role is his first and only appearance all night. His airtime has been pretty bad this season so far.
— Kenan is okay as the straight man here, but I find him to be a much better straight man in more recent years. He still seems a little green to me in this sketch.
— O’Toole ordering a gin-lovers pizza is hilarious.
— Peter O’Toole: “We’d like to thank our sponsors: Walkers Crisps and the planet Mercury.”
— Overall, such a great sketch.
STARS: ****½


BEAR CITY
by T. Sean Shannon- anthropomorphic ursines at the office

— I’m assuming the only reason we’re seeing a SECOND one of these tonight is, again, because the Ashlee mishap threw off the timing of the show so much. I wish I could see what the originally-scheduled live rundown for this episode looked like.
— I’m starting to love that theme song. “Bear City. Bear, Bear City.” Simplistic, but catchy.
— Overall, this made me chuckle, but not quite as much as the first Bear City short.
— At some point this season, I’ll probably stop saying anything about these Bear City shorts, and just give them the Jack Handey treatment (referring to how I usually didn’t review Handey’s Deep Thoughts, Fuzzy Memories, and My Big Thick Novel pieces, nor did I give them a rating), only I guess I’ll actually be giving these a rating, unless someone in the comments section can make a good argument for why I shouldn’t rate these.
STARS: **½


GOODNIGHTS
apologetic musical guest says her band played the wrong song

— For some reason, right after the Jude Law SNL bumper photo that’s shown after the commercial break, instead of SNL going right into the goodnights, SNL shows a “Promotional Services Furnished By Columbia Pictures” screen. (screencap below)

Not sure why they’re showing this promotional screen, unless it’s just because the Ashlee incident left SNL with some unexpected time, so they took this as an opportunity to air a special credit for their promotional services. My memory is fuzzy, but I think the Ellen Page episode from season 33 also has a “Promotional Services Furnished By…” screen shown right before the goodnights, even though, as far as I know, nothing goes wrong in that episode that would leave unexpected extra airtime.
— At the beginning of his goodnights speech, Jude instantly addresses the Ashlee Simpson incident by simply saying “Ladies and gentlemen…what can I say? Live TV.” A mortified and apologetic Ashlee then proceeds to explain to us what went wrong, by blaming her own band for “playing the wrong song” and then telling us she didn’t know what to do, “so I thought I’d do a hoedown.”

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Feels odd summarizing my thoughts on this episode, given how much the Ashlee Simpson incident overshadows everything else. It doesn’t help that a lot of this episode was nothing to write home about anyway, making this young season 0-for-3 in good episodes so far, in my eyes. (Man, even the notorious seasons 6, 11, and 20 had at least one good episode by this point in their seasons.) That being said, most of what DID work in this episode was actually really strong, particularly Trump Promo and The Adventures of Peter O’Toole & Michael Caine, both of which will most likely be going into my end-of-season “Best Of” picks.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Queen Latifah)
about the same


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Kate Winslet

Posted on

October 9, 2004 – Queen Latifah (S30 E2)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

SECOND PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE
undecided voters address debaters George W. Bush (WLF) & John Kerry (SEM)

— Hoo, boy. Welp, here’s SNL’s second attempt at a Bush/Kerry debate spoof, after how much of a colossal failure the one from the last episode was.
— After getting so used to seeing Chris play Jim Lehrer in all the debate sketches from season 26 and in the debate sketch from the first episode of this season, it feels odd now seeing him play a different moderator this time (Charles Gibson). Interesting how Chris has become SNL’s resident impersonator of all presidential debate moderators, to the degree that, even four years later during the 2008 elections, which is a few years after Chris’ second firing, SNL would actually bring Chris back in cameos to play the various moderators of all the presidential debate sketches that year (not including the vice presidential debate). I think he would also cameo to play a moderator in one of SNL’s 2012 debate sketches. I’ve always been very conflicted on SNL’s decision to make Chris their resident impersonator of every single presidential debate moderator in 2004 and 2008. Part of me feels that 1) it’s a lazy, one-note, and dull way to use Chris, 2) it typecasts him in an unfortunate way, and 3) it, among many other things, seems to suggest that SNL foolishly doesn’t value Chris much as a comedic performer and instead looks at him as someone who’s more capable of just playing non-comedic straight roles. On the other hand, it shows A LOT of trust and confidence on SNL’s part for them to always give the pretty important role of presidential debate moderator to Chris, even to the degree that they would go out of their way to BRING THE MAN BACK IN CAMEOS years after his second firing to moderate every single one of their 2008 presidential debate sketches (and keep in mind this is years before it became commonplace for presidential sketches to have many cameos).
— Hopefully, the town hall format will add life into THIS debate sketch, and prevent it from being a dud like the debate sketch from the preceding episode.
— I’m two-and-a-half minutes into this cold opening so far, and Will’s performance ALONE is making me like this better than the preceding episode’s debate cold opening. Will is hilarious in this as a very jumpy and defensive Bush.
— Not caring for anything from Seth’s John Kerry in this cold opening so far, especially not the tiring and weak bit with him naming off an endless number of fellow politicians from the military.
— Okay, I’m getting laughs from the bit right now with Seth’s Kerry making really bad puns over how crooked Bush is.
— I love the camera cutting to SNL writer John Lutz as a puzzled guy in the town hall audience when Seth’s Kerry points towards him and says “Maybe this fat guy right there.” A Lutz sighting on SNL is always a plus.
— Will’s Bush and some of his dialogue continue to crack me up throughout this cold opening.
— I love Will’s delivery of “Heh, need some wood?”, even though it’s just a verbatim quote from Bush in the real debate that this cold opening is spoofing.
— When Will’s Bush asks SNL writer Paula Pell “That answer your question?” after giving her a particularly nonsensical answer, I like Chris’ Charles Gibson saying a very deadpan “No, it doesn’t.”
— Okay, they’re starting to focus WAY too much on Bush’s sarcastic “Apparently, I own a timber company” thing. It’s not getting much laughs anymore. However, it’s still not as annoying as hearing “We’re workin’ haaaaarrrrrrrd” 10,000 fucking times in the last debate sketch.
— The audience loved Seth-as-Kerry’s “I’m going to keep talking. You know why? Because I…can’t…help…myself.” line, but it did nothing for me.
— This overall cold opening clocked in at 10 minutes. Three minutes shorter than the insufferable debate cold opening from the preceding episode, but still quite long. However, this debate cold opening as a whole was a mild improvement over the last one. Some of the Bush stuff was actually pretty good and Will gave a very solid and funny Bush performance here, but, much like the preceding debate spoof, SNL’s Kerry material still leaves A LOT to be desired and this overall debate spoof failed to provide ANY of the type of memorable, legendary moments that all of SNL’s best debate spoofs have.
STARS: **½


MONOLOGUE
host performs “Take The A Train” with Scat Cats HOS, MAR, FRA, WLF

— A random but funny “Clean Yo Teefah” toothpaste endorsement joke from Queen Latifah.
— A rare instance of SNL Band saxophonist Lenny Pickett getting to speak a line, even though he wasn’t shown onscreen during his line in this monologue.
— Horatio’s silly scatting reminds me a lot of the silly scatting he did in Jack Black’s monologue from the preceding season.
— Not caring for this monologue. How SNL went from Latifah’s great monologue from her season 28 episode to THIS monologue is beyond me.
— I did get a chuckle just now when the music stopped to a comically abrupt halt as Latifah bluntly tells the Scat Cats she doesn’t want to be in their group.
STARS: **


SHORT & CURLY
Short & Curly pubic hair shampoo draws groin attention in the locker room

 

— A big laugh from Will’s delivery of the line “Greg, your pubes look FANTASTIC!”
— Good reveal of the Short & Curly pubic hair shampoo product.
— After the initial big laugh from the shampoo product reveal, the appeal of this commercial is wearing off for me, as it’s now just relying on shock value with all the blurred-out groins of the casually-nude male cast members. This shock value isn’t even being executed in a particularly funny way like a stronger SNL era could’ve done. And considering we already had a lame low-brow commercial in the last episode (Dr. Porkenheimer’s Boner Juice), is it too much to ask for an SNL commercial this season that DOESN’T rely on cheap shock humor (not counting Swift Boat Veterans For Truth from the preceding episode, as that was just a topical, one-time commercial, not a traditional SNL commercial)? Another early harbinger of how weak and cheap this season’s writing in general will be.
— Finesse Mitchell makes his very first appearance of this season brazenly removing his towel and exposing his allegedly well-endowed self (blurred out, of course). I guess that certainly counts as making a splash in your first appearance in a new SNL season. (Neither Finesse nor Kenan were anywhere to be seen in the preceding week’s season premiere. Kinda insane that both of SNL’s only two black male cast members would be shut out of a season premiere.)
STARS: **


PRINCE SHOW
Patti LaBelle (host) & Sharon Stone (AMP) claver

— Can’t say I’m excited to see this back for a third time, as this is the type of sketch that’s funny and unique in its debut, then gradually diminishes both in quality and novelty with each passing installment, due to how formulaic it is.
— Yep, just as I was worried, I see that the novelty of these Prince sketches has officially worn off. Feels like if you’ve seen one installment of this sketch, you’ve seen them all.
— Good to see the return of Amy’s pretentiously-wordy Sharon Stone impression, just because of how much I liked it in the preceding season’s Megan Mullally episode.
— Latifah’s Patti LaBelle doing an over-the-top pratfall off of the carousel horse felt too desperate for a laugh. I recall an online SNL fan from back at this time in 2004 saying that portion of this sketch came off so hacky that he almost wondered if he accidentally turned the channel to “All That” on Nickelodeon.
— I like the little detail of Prince’s purple pillows having purple feathers inside of them when he’s tearing the pillows apart during his “tantrum”.
STARS: **½


EXCEDRIN FOR RACIAL TENSION HEADACHES
Excedrin for Racial Tension Headaches curbs (host)’s ignorant co-workers

— Some well-done, pointed racial humor here.
— Great reveal of the Excedrin For Racial Tension Headaches medication.
— Latifah: “Excedrin RT works fast. Takin’ me from ‘Oh, no, you di-n’t’ to ‘I wish the mother(*bleep*) would’.”
— Overall, now THIS was a good commercial, and sure beats the low-brow, shock value Dr. Porkenheimer’s Boner Juice and Short & Curly.
STARS: ****


VICE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE
vice-presidential candidates Dick Cheney (DAH) & John Edwards (WLF) spar

— During this sketch’s opening title sequence, I was about to say “ANOTHER Bush/Kerry debate sketch tonight?!?”, before remembering from my past viewings of this episode that this particular sketch is the vice presidential debate. Still feels redundant to see TWO debate sketches tonight, though, especially considering how shaky and unreliable SNL’s debate writing has been so far this season.
— Latifah and Darrell’s timing feels off so far.
— I just now realized how odd it is that Will is playing a candidate in both debate sketches tonight.
— A cellphone can faintly be heard going off in SNL’s studio just now. If that’s an audience member who’s cellphone is going off, then I assume he or she got kicked out immediately afterwards, as it’s a strict rule at SNL that audience members turn off their cellphones before the show.
— After an off start, Latifah and Darrell’s timing has gotten better.
— A good laugh from Darrell-as-Cheney’s impatient teeth-gritting face (the last above screencap for this sketch) when Will’s John Edwards keeps going on and on about Cheney’s daughter’s lesbianism.
— Wow, this sketch is wrapping up ALREADY?!? I’m very surprised, as this sketch felt only about 3 minutes long. A huge contrast to the very long length of the respective Bush/Kerry debate sketches so far this season. I guess even this season of SNL is self-aware enough to realize that two super-long debate sketches in the same episode would’ve been murder on viewers. Normally, I would praise SNL for managing to do a debate sketch this season that’s actually SHORT, but this sketch just came and went with mostly only mild chuckles from me, and I had been waiting for this to finally start taking off, only for it to abruptly end after what felt like only three minutes.
— The closing line from Latifah’s Gwen Ifill: “I’m going back over to Public Television with Jim Lehrer where you won’t be seeing me for another four years.” Funnily enough, four years later when SNL would do a parody of the Sarah Palin/Joe Biden vice presidential debate, Latifah would actually cameo to reprise her role as Gwen Ifill, given the fact that the real Ifill moderated the real Palin/Biden debate. SNL didn’t have a black female in the cast by that point (this was a year after Maya’s departure, and it wouldn’t be until FIVE LONG YEARS LATER where lots of media outrage forced SNL into holding a special mid-season audition for a new black female cast member), which is most likely why SNL resorted to calling up Latifah to reprise the Gwen Ifill role.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
host performs “The Same Love That Made Me Laugh”


WEEKEND UPDATE
new inmate Martha Stewart (RAD) has taken quickly to prison life

FIM favors restrictions on names bestowed by young black mothers

— There’s been a change made to the Update desk tonight, as the desktop now has several transparent things (seen in the screencap below) that resemble item scanners at the check-out counter in stores. Obviously, that’s not what the transparent things on the Update desk are, but I don’t know what they are.

— I see we’re continuing to take a page out of The Daily Show’s playbook in this new Update era, by relying on news clips to punctuate a joke. And didn’t Amy ALREADY do a joke in the last episode that used a clip of President Bush rapidly blinking hard during a Bush/Kerry debate?
— Rachel as Martha Stewart???
— Latifah is cracking me up with her faces in the background during Rachel-as-Martha’s commentary.
— Rachel’s certainly no Ana Gasteyer when it comes to playing Martha Stewart, but I like her Martha a little better than the disappointing one Amy once did the preceding season.
— The side segment with Tina and Amy’s speech to lonely single female voters isn’t too bad. Better than what I remember Tina and Amy’s side segments were typically like during this Update era.
— Amy, on the announcement of a Britney Spears rap album: “’I can’t wait to hear that’, said no one.” This is the very first instance of a “said no one” joke on Update, which would go on to be used quite a lot during the Seth Meyers years of Update. Some SNL fans incorrectly attribute that joke to just Seth, as if he’s the only person who ever delivered it on Update. As we see here, Amy was actually the very first Update anchor to do the joke, long before Seth was even an Update anchor.
— Speaking of Update jokes that’s also used elsewhere on SNL, Tina’s joke just now about guys on Howard Stern throwing baloney at a stripper’s ass was actually previously used as a line by Amy’s one-legged Amber character in the “The Swan” sketch from the preceding season’s finale hosted by the Olsen Twins. I wonder if this means Tina writes those Amber sketches.
— The M.I.A.-in-last-week’s-season-premiere Finesse Mitchell gets his own Update commentary as himself. Meanwhile, the also-M.I.A.-in-last-week’s-season-premiere Kenan Thompson is still M.I.A. tonight. Where the hell has he been this season???
— Hearing Finesse talk about what it was like growing up with the name Finesse doesn’t quite work when you’re aware that his real name isn’t even Finesse. A month or so after tonight’s episode, he would reveal during an interview on John MacEnroe’s short-lived CNBC talk show that his real first name is Alfred, if I recall correctly.
— Considering my mother had me at a very young age (14, believe it or not), I’m really liking Finesse’s comical exaggerations about what it was like for him to grow up with a mother who was still growing up herself. (Finesse says his mother had him when she was 15.) This resonates with me personally.
— Overall, after all of my complaints in the inaugural Fey/Poehler Update from the last episode, tonight’s Update actually wasn’t TOO bad. Still far from great, but this Update had a more streamlined feel, and Tina and (especially) Amy seemed a little more restrained and professional tonight. (I guess Amy’s still experimenting on her Update persona at this point, as, from what I remember of the remainder of the Fey/Poehler Update era, Amy would unfortunately soon go back to the cutesy, silly persona she had in her very first Update, which drove me nuts.) Aside from some minor things here and there, neither Amy nor Tina had any real frustrating moments tonight that made me groan or roll my eyes like in the last episode’s Update.
STARS: **½


BASKETBALL OFFERS
high school basketball phenom (FIM) picks pro spoils over college toil

— There’s Kenan finally making his first appearance of this season.
— Kenan’s voice as the old man is pretty funny.
— This sketch is obviously based on LeBron James going straight from high school to the NBA the previous year. Hell, Finesse’s LeBron-esque character in this sketch is even named LeTron.
— Not only has SNL finally given newbie Rob Riggle his very first comedic role, but wow, he just now did an INSANELY intense little rant that was fantastic. Quite Will Ferrell-esque.
— I like the sequence with Rob and Seth taking turns whispering persuading things in Finesse’s ears.
— Despite the aforementioned highlights, something about this overall sketch as a whole didn’t fully click for me.
STARS: **½


TV FUNHOUSE
“X-Presidents” by RBS- election meddling summons ghostly X-X-Presidents

— (*sigh*) The final X-Presidents cartoon. Feels kinda odd seeing an X-Presidents cartoon appearing as recently as 2004. (Coincidentally, the last time an X-Presidents cartoon appeared before this episode was in Queen Latifah’s previous episode.)
— Hmm, Ron Reagan Jr. is now a member of The X-Presidents? How random.
— Ah, now I see why Ron Jr. is now a member. This is not too long after Ronald Reagan passed away.
— A laugh from Barbara Bush bumping her head on the ceiling and falling down when the X-Presidents fly out of a ceiling exit while Barbara is still sucking on Bush Sr.’s feet.
— Jimmy Carter to John Kerry, right before kicking him in the face: “Feelin’ malaise yet, bitch?”
— Great turn with several dead presidents, including the then-recently-deceased Ronald Reagan, rising out of their respective grave to become the X-X-Presidents.
— Franklin D. Roosevelt: “The only thing you have to fear… is my foot up your ass!”
— Benjamin Harrison to George W. Bush: “Four score and seven years ago, I hung you by your nuts!” George W. Bush: “Hey, that’s not your line!” Benjamin Harrison: “Gimme a break, I’m Benjamin Harrison.”
— When Bush Sr. is about to vomit after eating Ron Jr.’s stem cell-filled cooking, I absolutely HOWLED at the gag with a Japanese leader being hurriedly placed next to Bush just so Bush can vomit into the leader’s lap, referencing Bush’s infamous Japan/vomiting incident from 1992.
— A good variation of the usual musical endings of these X-Presidents cartoons, with the deceased Ronald Reagan singing in heaven with dead rock legends.
STARS: ****


HEAVEN
St. Peter (HOS) feeds straight lines to Rodney Dangerfield (DAH)

— Speaking of SNL portraying deceased celebrities in heaven…
— Darrell’s Rodney Dangerfield impression is always solid.
— Dammit, even in a nice tribute sketch like this, Horatio has to shoehorn in his horrible long-time habit of pausing awkwardly for a few seconds before delivering some of his lines.
— I particularly like the joke from Darrell’s Rodney about his wife being so dumb that she has to reach inside her bra to count to two.
— Boo to the audience for their tepid reactions to these great Rodney jokes. Does the audience just feel tense and hesitant to laugh because of how soon after Rodney’s death this sketch is airing? Can’t they see this sketch is clearly coming from the heart?
— A very classy and touching response from Horatio’s St. Peter when telling Darrell’s Rodney why he asked him all of those questions if it was already decided that he’s allowed into heaven: “I just wanted to hear those jokes one more time.”
— An equally classy “We’ll miss you” In Memoriam card shown at the very end of this sketch.
— Overall, a much better Darrell Hammond-starring deceased celebrity tribute sketch than whatever the hell SNL was going for in that Johnny Cash sketch from the preceding season.
STARS: ****


VOTER REGISTRATION
Starkisha & (host) compete to register voters in a black neighborhood

— Oh, god, Starkisha again.
— After not appearing at all in the preceding episode, Finesse has been all over tonight’s episode, but it’s obviously only because we have a black female host. (Why have we seen so little of Kenan, though?) Finesse immediately goes right back to receiving little-to-no airtime in the next few episodes.
— Is Amy playing the same clueless whitebred character she played in the last Starkisha sketch? I liked her in that sketch.
— Ah, Chris has now appeared as Amy’s husband, like how he played her husband in the last Starkisha sketch, so I guess Amy’s character is the same clueless whitebred one she played last time.
— I’m a few minutes into this sketch, and most of my only laughs have come from Amy. The Starkisha stuff, on the other hand, does nothing for me as usual, even though I actually kinda like this presidential election premise for her, as it’s a more mature change of pace from her previous sketches.
— A laugh from Latifah doing the MC Hammer dance.
STARS: **


MUSICAL GUEST INTRO
CHK introduces host

— WTF? Kattan out of nowhere. Boy, between his countless cameos the preceding season and now this, it’s REALLY hard for him to part ways with SNL since leaving, isn’t it? His post-SNL career clearly hasn’t been going well.


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
host performs “Hard Times”


ZINGER VS. SNAP
Dave ‘Zinger’ Klinger & Dr. Sheila ‘All Snaps’ (host) trade insults

— This was originally cut after dress rehearsal from the preceding season’s Snoop Dogg episode, with Snoop playing Latifah’s role.
— After the tepid reaction I had to Seth’s zinger character in my review of his first sketch, this character grows on me more and more with each passing sketch he appears in.
— Latifah is really fun in this, and I’m enjoying the way she and Seth are playing off of each other, moreso than how Alec Baldwin and Megan Mullally played off of Seth in the previous installments of this sketch.
— I love the “zing pong” miming that Latifah and Seth are doing right now.
— When Chris has a sudden yelling outburst at Rachel, Rachel helplessly cracks up and tries to mask it.
— A good laugh from Latifah punching Seth’s zinger character for his crude face-sitting joke about Latifah’s mama.
— Feels a little weird seeing a Zinger sketch as the final sketch of the night, but this is actually a fun way to end the show.
— This ends up being the final Zinger sketch. At least this series of sketches went out with what I feel has been its best installment.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Much like the season premiere, this episode showed early signs of this being a bad season, but I still slightly prefer this episode to the season premiere. Despite a lot of weak segments, this had a better overall average than the premiere and not even the weakest segments of the night tanked TOO badly, compared to what we’ll be seeing whenever this season scrapes the bottom of the barrel. It helps that Queen Latifah was a fun host once again, and her energy gave the atmosphere of this episode a boost.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Ben Affleck)
a very slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Jude Law, a.k.a. the episode with the infamous Ashlee Simpson incident

Posted on

October 2, 2004 – Ben Affleck / Nelly (S30 E1)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

FIRST PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE
first George W. Bush (WLF) vs. John Kerry (SEM) debate covers Iraq policy

— A decent opening spiel from Chris’ Jim Lehrer about the presidential candidates wearing a collar to keep them both from walking to the other’s podium.
— To quote something I said in my review of the Bush Sr./Dukakis presidential debate sketch from the season 14 premiere: “The gag with Bush being on a higher platform than Dukakis as they shake each other’s hand after making their entrance would later be copied in a George W. Bush/John Kerry debate sketch in 2004. The gag didn’t even make sense in that context! It made sense here because Dukakis is much shorter than Bush Sr., whereas neither Kerry nor Bush Jr. are short.” It really irks me that they ripped off that Bush Sr./Dukakis height difference gag in tonight’s debate sketch. I know both debate sketches were written by Jim Downey (or at least, I’m assuming they were), but that doesn’t excuse him recycling his own gag, especially since, as I said in the quote, it makes no sense in this context.
— We get the debut of Will’s whinier version of President Bush, which would go on to be the most remembered aspect of Will’s impression.
— Oof. I am now SEVEN MINUTES into this debate sketch, and I have not been laughing much. Bush’s repeated “We’re workin’ haaarrrrrd” has literally been the ONLY part of this very long debate sketch that resonated with me over the years, and that has not changed so far during my current re-watch. And even that “We’re workin’ haaarrrrrd” aspect of this is relied on way too heavily here, as if that’s the only hook Jim Downey could come up with for spoofing Bush here, besides the short bit with Bush praising Saddam Hussein.
— There are absolutely no “Strategery”-esque legendary moments to be found in this presidential debate sketch. No “I can’t believe I’m losing to this guy”-esque legendary moments”. No “It was my understanding that there would be no math”-esque legendary moments.
— Oh, man, this cold opening is just going on and on. Sure, SNL’s presidential debate sketches are typically very long, but more often than not, they’re consistently funny enough to excuse the length and make the time pass by fast. With a dull, lacking debate sketch like tonight’s, on the other hand, the long time length is fully felt.
— Seth and Will seem to be tripping over some lines throughout this.
— I finally got one other good laugh besides Will-as-Bush’s first “We’re workin’ haaarrrrrd” (before that line got run into the ground), and it’s from Seth-as-Kerry’s “That is not flip-flopping, that is pandering! And America deserves a president that knows the difference!”
— Oh, god, I swear, if Will’s Bush says “Workin’ haaarrrrrd” one more time, I’m going to fucking snap. This sketch has gotten to the point where the “Workin’ haaarrrrrd” stuff has become literally the ONLY material they’re having Will’s Bush do anymore. They took a once-funny line and completely ruined it over the course of a single cold opening.
— 13 minutes. This cold opening is just now concluding, after 13 minutes. 13 fucking minutes, people. Not even the first Bush/Gore debate cold opening was that long, and THAT cold opening had actual funny things to say.
— Overall, my god, what a huge disappointment this debate sketch was. A rare flop at this point in SNL history for such a big presidential debate sketch.
STARS: *½


OPENING MONTAGE
— New montage.

— The SNL logo is still the same from the past 9 seasons, but it’s been slightly modified to have far more spacing between the letters (as seen in the second above screencap for this montage).
— Speaking of the SNL logo, there surprisingly isn’t a number 30 added to it to commemorate the 30th season. I wonder why, considering SNL has added an anniversary number to the SNL logo for every other anniversary season ever since season 15.
— After the very unique, fun, and memorable music video style of the preceding season’s opening montage, SNL has gone back to a more standard style. Despite the standard, generic style of this montage, I actually really like the aesthetic of it, with the dark motif and very “late night” feel.
— Fred Armisen has been promoted from featured player to repertory player.
— When announcing Will Forte’s name, Don Pardo mistakenly says “Will Ferr–”, then suddenly cuts himself off and never corrects himself. Don obviously almost called Will Forte “Will Ferrell” before catching his mistake. This is reminiscent of a moment from an episode in the preceding season, where Don mistakenly announced Chris Parnell as “Chris Kattan”, but at least Don corrected himself during THAT particular goof.
— Rob Riggle has been added to the cast tonight.
— This overall montage feels A LOT shorter than the preceding season’s montage.


MONOLOGUE
Alec Baldwin [real] warns host against stealing his moves

— Right out of the gate, Ben Affleck immediately addresses how unusually soon he’s hosting after his last episode, by saying “You’re not watching a rerun. Yes, I did host just five minutes ago.”
— Oh, is that Alec Baldwin’s voice I’m hearing from off-camera?
— Yep, there he is.
— Some good laughs from Alec’s comparisons between himself and Ben.
— Great delivery from Ben of the line “Those aren’t moves, Alec. They’re just the slow-motion trainwreck I like to call my life.”
— Alec to Ben: “Don’t jerk me around, Gigli!”
— I’m finding Alec to be an absolute RIOT in this monologue.
— Alec: “Mike Myers will suck your soul out, then complain about how bad it tastes.” Haha, goddamn. IIRC, Tina would later disclose the fact that she ended up getting chewed out over the phone by an angry Mike Myers, who called up SNL to complain about that soul-sucking line in this monologue. This whole incident is very reminiscent of the notorious Eddie Murphy/David Spade incident. Unlike that, however, where David’s mean-spirited comment about Eddie is still left intact in reruns, SNL would be forced to remove the Mike Myers slam from reruns of this monologue.
— Just now, Alec brags to Ben that he’s hosted 9 times. Odd, considering it’s actually 11 times Alec has hosted up to this point.
— Alec to Ben: “Don’t get too comfortable. Me and Goodman are constantly circling the building every five minutes.”
— An overall strong monologue, with a great performance from Alec.
— At dress rehearsal, Darrell played Alec instead of Alec showing up as himself. I even recall seeing a publicity photo years ago at NBC.com from this version of the monologue (the photo can probably currently be found at GettyImages), and in the photo, Darrell’s not even wearing a wig or anything to look like Alec! Darrell just has his normal slicked-back gray hair, which looks nothing like how Alec’s hair looks at this time. I wonder if Alec not being able to show up for dress rehearsal was perhaps something that happened on VERY short notice, and so SNL was forced to just throw Darrell out there in Alec’s place at the last minute to read off his lines for this monologue, with SNL not even bothering to put him in costume. If so, I’m morbidly curious to see just how bad this monologue HAD to have been with an out-of-place Darrell delivering Alec’s funny dialogue.
STARS: ****


DR. PORKENHEIMER’S BONER JUICE
Dr. Porkenheimer’s Boner Juice emphatically reverses erectile dysfunction

— Meh, a juvenile concept, and not a particularly funny one.
— A particularly cheap attempt at laughs right now, with the ending shot of a satisfied Rob Riggle “pitching a tent” under the bedsheets. I remember that made me laugh a lot when this originally aired, but I can’t even so much as crack a smile at it today. I may be biased, though, because, after the entirety of this SNL season originally aired and I walked away from it feeling the season was a quiet disaster, I would go on to look at this commercial as an embodiment of the bad and lazy humor that dominated this frustrating season.
— This commercial would go on to be re-aired in a few episodes, and IIRC, the aforementioned ending shot of Rob “pitching a tent” under the bedsheets would be replaced by various new and far tamer alternate endings that changed EVERY time this commercial was re-aired in a new episode. Am I remembering correctly? I recall there being at least two different alternate endings used in future re-airings. I guess I’ll see for myself when I cover the episodes that this commercial is re-aired in.
STARS: *½


DEBBIE DOWNER
Debbie Downer kills the festive mood at (host)’s birthday party

— Oh, god. This sketch has officially become recurring, a decision I strongly disagree with, for reasons I explained at the end of my review of the legendary first Debbie Downer sketch.
— Okay, after not laughing for tonight’s Debbie Downer sketch so far, I do kinda like the part right now with the camera doing several mini-zoom-ins on Debbie Downer as she lists off the name of each of the latest tropical storms.
— After being into this sketch at first, the studio audience is noticeably laughing less and less as this sketch progresses. Man, this sketch is dying. Without the performers’ epic laughing meltdown from the first Debbie Downer installment, this sketch’s formula is exposed for how weak and annoyingly repetitive it is.
— Did they have to repeat the “It’s the number one killer of domestic cats (*meow meooooowwww*)” line from the first Debbie Downer installment?
— Overall, boy, this sketch did absolutely NOTHING for me, aside from the aforementioned tropical storms bit. Why couldn’t SNL have just left a classic one-off sketch alone? This reminds me a lot of how, 10 years earlier, the season premiere of the notorious season 20 made the mistake of doing a second installment of the classic first Buh-Bye sketch, and even placed it in an early spot in the show, expecting it to be another hit, only for it to fall HORRIBLY flat and die a painful death. At least in that case, however, SNL learned from their mistake and didn’t do any more Buh-Bye installments after that. With Debbie Downer, on the other hand, I have god-knows-how-many more installments to put up with after this episode.
— This sketch would later be replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns, which is even prefaced with a disclaimer stating, from what I can remember, “The following sketch is from dress rehearsal, simply because it worked better”, which is noteworthy, as I don’t think there have been any other instances in SNL history where a rerun actually pointed out a dress rehearsal substitution for a sketch. The reason for a dress rehearsal substitution of this particular Debbie Downer sketch is because the dress version features a lot of breaking from the performers (though definitely not as much as the famous first Debbie Downer sketch), which the audience, of course, loved. The use of the dress version of this sketch in reruns and it actually being pointed out with a disclaimer is clearly SNL fully admitting how much of a failure the live version of this sketch was. IIRC, the dress version of this sketch shown in reruns is also (rightfully) moved to a much later spot in the show than the live version of the sketch was.
STARS: *½


SWIFT BOAT VETERANS FOR TRUTH
Swift Boat Veterans expand their list of John Kerry’s deficiencies

— The unnecessary reliance on a gay marriage reference for a cheap laugh is so sadly typical of this era, and an unfortunate harbinger of how particularly heavy this season will be relying on hacky, gay-stereotype humor.
— This commercial is slowly getting funnier and funnier as it goes along.
— I love the little detail of how Will’s only credential listed on the bottom of the screen is “saw ‘Platoon’”. That makes me wonder if the guys who were shown being interviewed before him also had a funny credential listed on the bottom of the screen, and I just didn’t notice.
— A priceless dry delivery from Will of the word “catsup”.
— Overall, this was a good political piece, but it wasn’t quite as strong or as smart as I had remembered.
STARS: ***½


CAMPAIGN STOP
James Carville (host) wants John Kerry (SEM) to go on the offensive

— The two sketches in tonight’s episode that have Seth playing John Kerry end up being Seth’s ONLY appearances all night, which is surprising, especially knowing in retrospect how hard this season is going to be pushing Seth as the new male star of the show in light of Jimmy Fallon’s departure.
— Oh, no. Maya’s Theresa Heinz-Kerry breaking out into a brief song was just plain unnecessary and unfunny. This is yet ANOTHER unfortunate harbinger of what’s to come this season, as this season is going to be relying particularly hard on Maya singing in sketches, much to my chagrin back when this season originally aired.
— James Carville to John Kerry: “You beat George Bush in a talking contest. That’s like Wilt Chamberlain playing basketball against Stephen Hawking and beat him by ten points. The man can’t talk, John!”
— Ben is fucking fantastic as James Carville. He is slaying me all throughout this sketch. I think I like his impression even more than Bill Hader’s Carville impression from years later, and that’s saying something, as Bill’s Carville is great in its own right.
— I remember it being pointed out by several online SNL fans back when this originally aired that Seth can be seen mouthing Ben’s lines throughout this sketch.
— I know I said in a recent episode review that I’ve gotten burned out on Darrell’s Bill Clinton, but it’s winning me back over here, now that they’ve finally taken him out of the Weekend Update setting he was stuck in during the preceding season.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Jaheim [real] perform “My Place”


WEEKEND UPDATE
New Jerseyan Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) on Jim McGreevey resignation

host points out hypocrisy of Matt Damon’s call for integrity in acting

Elton John’s (HOS) songs fail to make amends for his behavior in Taiwan

— A new Weekend Update era has begun, with Amy joining as Tina’s new co-anchor.
— I like the new Update opening title sequence.
— Just-departed cast member Jimmy Fallon does the voice-over in the new Update opening title sequence (probably because Amy previously did the voice-over for the Update opening title sequence during most of the Fallon/Fey era), and him doing this voice-over in the style of “hyper young cool dude” instead of “professional news broadcast voice-over” is SO WRONG for Update. Hell, he even literally shouts an excited “Yaaaay!” at the end of his voice-over here! I kid you not, folks. WTF??? Thankfully, SNL would remove that “Yaaaay!” from the title sequence of all subsequent Fey/Poehler Updates.
— They’re still using the Update set from the Fallon/Fey era, but something about it’s color has definitely changed. It looks…I don’t know, glossier? A different shade of brown? SOMETHING looks different about the coloring of the set, but I can’t put my finger on what exactly it is.
— A terrible opening Bush joke from Tina. As I said in a review from late in the preceding season, Tina’s developed a bad habit lately of using her worst and most desperate joke of the night as her opening joke.
— Amy’s very first Update joke just now wasn’t bad, but she kinda ruined it for me by making an out-of-place cutesy, hammy big smile at the camera immediately after she finished the joke.
— Oh, god, and now, right after what I said above about Amy’s first joke, Amy actually interrupts Tina’s next joke to giddily cheer “That was my first joke!”, which Tina then responds to by joining in on Amy’s giddiness and motioning the audience to actually APPLAUD Amy for doing her first joke. Are you fucking kidding me?!? In all my years of watching SNL, I’ve never seen a new Update anchor basically BEG the audience to freakin’ applaud the fact that they got through their very first Update joke, as if they’re a child. Ugh, this new Fey/Poehler Update team is already starting off very worrisome for me.
— The use of clips of real footage from the presidential debate feels unusual for Update at this point of SNL’s run, but would go on to be a semi-regular aspect of Fey/Poehler Updates. I remember how some online SNL fans back at this time in 2004/2005 complained about SNL trying too hard to be like The Daily Show with their new gimmick of commenting on clips of real news footage. I think SNL fans would later go on to get used to seeing that more often on Update nowadays, with Colin Jost and Michael Che often playing clips of Trump saying stupid shit.
— Nice surprise appearance from James Gandolfini as “a New Jersey resident”. I’m enjoying his performance here.
— I like Tina’s remark after Gandolfini leaves: “That is the scariest man…I have ever been attracted to.”
— Amy seems to be trying way too hard in her delivery of some jokes.
— Just now, Tina has mentioned her former co-anchor Jimmy Fallon in a jokingly unflattering manner, when telling Amy she thinks things are going to work out well between her and Amy as a new Update duo.
— A rarity to see a host do an Update commentary as themselves, or, as Ben’s billed here in a tongue-in-cheek manner, “a Hollywood actor”. Between Gandolfini being billed as “a New Jersey resident” and now Ben being billed as “a Hollywood actor”, are none of the Update guests going to be using a name anymore in this new Update era?
— I liked Ben’s self-deprecating joke about making movies with his girlfriend.
— I’m surprised Ben’s commentary is ALREADY over, after only about one minute. Most of his commentary surprisingly didn’t do much for me.
— Ugh, Horatio’s Elton John.
— Another acknowledgment of Jimmy Fallon’s departure, with Horatio’s Elton John starting his commentary by looking around confusedly and asking “Where’s my Jimmy boy?”
— Blah, these Elton John songs from Horatio are not working for me AT ALL. Just typical self-indulgent hammy Horatio Sanz crap with bad writing.
— Overall, all I can say about this inaugural Update of the Fey/Poehler era is: oof. Normally, if a new Update duo has a rough start, I’d think “Maybe they just need time to grow.” But I’ve already seen all of the Fey/Poehler Updates back when they originally aired, and I recall their Updates drawing A LOT of ire from me in how weak, annoying, frustrating, and unprofessional they were. So, yeah, I don’t think things ever get better for this Update duo, but I’ll see as I go through this era.
STARS: **


ESCALATOR
stalled mall escalator proves disastrous for overly dramatic shoppers

— Good mock-dramatic, over-the-top, disaster-movie-esque performances from the cast in the way their characters are overreacting to a simple broken-down escalator.
— They’re overdoing Ben’s slaps to Rachel WAY too much. It was only funny the first time.
— I love Chris giving up and committing suicide by jumping off the escalator.
— Rachel’s long, exaggerated yell of “NO!” causes Ben to break character by laughing. This has made me realize that we’ve gotten little-to-no instances of breaking from Ben before this point in tonight’s episode compared to his episode from the preceding season, in which he laughed in practically every single sketch.
— Ben’s Spanish conversation with Maya is pretty funny.
— I got a good laugh from Will’s fireman character accidentally falling from the rope holding him.
— An overall solid and fun sketch. Much better than I remember it being in my past viewings.
STARS: ****


WEDDING
obnoxious deejay’s (host) inappropriate tunes derail a wedding reception

— Not too crazy about this cliched “obnoxious DJ at a dignified gathering” concept.
— Rob Riggle’s been stuck in nothing but dull straight roles for the entirety of this first episode of his. An unfortunate harbinger (which is something I’ve been saying A LOT in this review) of things to come for him in what would end up being a short-lived SNL tenure.
— A good laugh from Ben playing the song “Sister Christian” during the priest’s speech.
— Ben to the priest: “Alright, father, stay away from the kiddie tables, alright?”
— Despite my dislike of this cliched premise, Ben’s giving this his all as he always does, and there are a few laughs.
— When Amy and Rob complain about Ben playing “Who Let The Dogs Out” instead of the slow song they wanted to dance to, I like Ben complying by slowing down the tempo of “Who Let The Dogs Out”.
— This sketch is going on too long, and should’ve ended earlier.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Na-Nana-Na”


A NIGHT AT CAMP DAVID
by Alison Jackson- a dramatization of Bush substance abuse at Camp David

— Much like the “Adventures of Harold” short film in the preceding season’s finale, we get a huge change of pace for this SNL era, with another out-of-the-ordinary film that involves no recognizable performers. This particular film is by Alison Jackson, who was hired to be SNL’s regular filmmaker of this season. However, tonight’s film ends up being the ONLY film of hers to ever make it on the air, aside from a pre-taped Weekend Update mini-piece that airs later this season. Most of Jackson’s attempts to get films on the air this season end up not making it past dress rehearsal.
— I really like the unique aesthetic of this, as well as the music, but I have not been enjoying this film itself all that much.
— Overall, I give SNL credit for trying something completely unlike anything they had ever done before, and I liked certain individual aspects of this film, but the film as a whole didn’t really entertain me like it should’ve. I think I can see why Alison Jackson’s attempts to be SNL’s regular filmmaker of this season ended up failing, but I still say SNL should’ve aired a second film of hers, just so we could judge the quality of her as an SNL filmmaker more fairly.
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A weak and disappointing season premiere, immediately showing signs of how troubled this infamous-among-hardcore-SNL-nerds-but-forgotten-among-general-SNL-fans season is going to be. That interminably dull and one-note Bush/Kerry debate cold opening already got the night off on the wrong foot, and the episode as a whole never fully took off, despite some solid bright spots here and there. A very tepid and worrisome debut of a new Weekend Update era also didn’t help. Ben Affleck was a strong host once again, but he’s definitely been given much better episodes before and after this.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (2003-04)
a slight step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Queen Latifah

Posted on

May 15, 2004 – Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen / J-Kwon (S29 E20)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

HARDBALL WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS
John Kerry (SEM) chooses Al Sharpton (KET) as his running mate

— Kinda interesting how Chris is playing Andrew Card in this season finale’s Hardball cold opening, given the fact that Dan Aykroyd previously played him in the Hardball cold opening from the preceding year’s season finale.
— Chris Matthews to Andrew Card, regarding Card’s over-the-top glowing comments about President Bush: “Man, oh, man. You didn’t just drink the Kool-Aid – you went back for seconds.”
— A good laugh from Darrell’s Matthews being caught putting a noose around his neck while listening to Seth’s John Kerry drone on and on.
— Overall, a little better than the forgettably average Hardball sketches from this season, but still not up to the level of great Hardballs from previous seasons. I eagerly await the addition of Will’s Zell Miller to Hardball the following season, to inject some new life into these sketches.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
JIF & WLF help simulate the senior prom hosts are unable to attend

— Okay, right out of the gate here, the Olsen Twins have established that Ashley is the blonde one and Mary-Kate is the brunette. I have to remember that, as this episode is the first time I’ve ever had to deal with seeing an episode hosted by identical twins, and I’ve NEVER been able to tell the difference between the Olsens in anything I’ve seen them appear together in.
— Big applause for Jimmy’s walk-on, as it’s known that tonight is his final episode.
— Cute concept of bringing the Olsen Twins’ school prom to them here at SNL, since they’re missing their prom to host the show.
— I love Fred’s cheesy dad character suddenly going from laughing heartily to telling Jimmy a very stern “You touch my daughter, I’ll kill ya.”
— When the prom decorations, including a banner, are lowered from the ceiling, the banner instantly breaks off by accident. (seen in the background of the two below screencaps)

— I see Maya is taking over the recently-departed Jeff Richards’ duties as Drunk Girl. Maya’s drunken character in this monologue is eerily similar.
— Will: “A bunch of us are gonna go into a black neighborhood and try to buy wine.”
STARS: ***½


PAPARAZZI
(hosts) & fellow red carpet paparazza engineer marketable snapshots

— Oh, god. Not a return of this Paparazzi sketch from this season’s Jennifer Aniston episode, a sketch that I hated. And I also hate how these sketches always have to be placed right up top as the first post-monologue sketch of the night.
— I did get a laugh just now from a request Amy shouts out: “Marc Anthony, pretend you’re a genie comin’ out of J.Lo’s butt!”
— Much like Jennifer Aniston in the first installment, the Olsen Twins attempt some self-deprecating humor as their paparazzi characters throw unflattering questions at the passing-by Olsen Twins. And much like Aniston’s attempt at that, it’s doing absolutely nothing for me.
— Amy, regarding what appears to be a passing-by Dakota Fanning: “That’s not Dakota Fanning, that’s David Spade.” Wow, this is the SECOND time this season made a slam at Spade. Ha, I know it’s nothing but good-natured ribbing at one of the show’s own alum, but I still think this is Spade’s karma for his infamous Eddie Murphy slam (and maybe also for all his harsh Hollywood Minute jokes in general).
— Overall, I got a few more chuckles than I got in the first installment of this sketch, but I still disliked most of this installment, and am glad to never have to review any more installments of this.
STARS: **


MARY-KATE & ASHLEY
Ashley & Mary-Kate fragrances purport to capture hosts’ personalities

— Some pretty good laughs from how increasingly absurd and out-of-hand the voice-over from Chris is getting in his details of each perfume.
— Pretty funny ending with the wind from an off-camera fan starting to blow out of control.
STARS: ***½


Z105
Joey Mack’s shameless foolery gives listeners a poor opinion of hosts

— Our final appearance of this sketch. Should’ve left the preceding installment with Ben Affleck as the final appearance, as that would’ve been a perfect way to conclude this series of sketches.
— What’s with the VERY awkward and long pause Jimmy made right before starting to tell the dog crap story? There was a long stretch of painful dead air as Jimmy looked completely lost on what he was supposed to do, before he finally started telling the story. This is an about-to-depart six-season SNL veteran I’m watching?!?
— I admit to getting a laugh from the very un-PC part with Z105’s black weatherman claiming that the only reason Z105’s Middle Eastern intern Sanji liked the movie New York Minute is because it was set in New York and was a bomb.
— Wow, an EXTREMELY intense “And we’re BACK!” from Jimmy’s Joey Mack just now, and you can tell Jimmy delivered it like that because he knows that’s the last time he’ll ever be delivering that catchphrase.
— The ending felt a little abrupt. Either that, or SNL accidentally cued the “Applause” lights too early.
— Overall, some laughs, but I’m a little meh on this final Z105 sketch. This just treaded the same ground from most installments of this sketch, and tonight’s paled in comparison to the aforementioned Ben Affleck installment, which refreshingly did something new with the formula.
STARS: **½


THE SWAN
one-legged Amber loses makeover competition to Vicki (hosts)

FOX newswoman (RAD) teases scare-inducing story slated for WNYW broadcast

— I got a laugh from Chris-as-the-doctor’s unprofessional “fugly” comment about the Olsen Twin’s character (I don’t know which Olsen Twin is in this role, due to the wig she’s wearing).
— We haven’t seen Amy’s one-legged Amber character in what feels like quite a while. I recall starting to get tired of this character in her last appearance, but maybe the hiatus since then will make her come off fresher tonight.
— The voice Rachel’s using sounds EXACTLY like local news reporters, and her fast-paced, over-the-top, fear-mongering news report here is very funny.
— The mirror sequence with both Olsen Twins is fun and a clever way to incorporate both Olsen Twins into this sketch.
— Given that the preceding Z105 sketch relied heavily on fart humor as usual, it was a poor decision on SNL’s part to place this Swan sketch immediately after it, as the usual gag with one-legged Amber farting (which thankfully wasn’t used until towards the end of this sketch) feels badly redundant and unfortunate coming right after Z105.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Tipsy”


WEEKEND UPDATE
thinking of Brad Pitt causes JIF to slip into gayety during Troy review

Olympic stadium contractor (HOS) admits that Athens venue isn’t ready

— Jimmy’s final Weekend Update.
— I’ve gotten so tired of Tina’s Arnold Schwarzenegger vocal imitation whenever she does a joke about him.
— Blah, not caring for Jimmy’s increasingly-effeminate-voiced review of the movie Troy, as I’m just finding it to be yet another typical display of the cheap stereotypical gay humor that’s rampant in this SNL era. I do admit that I did kinda like Tina interrupting Jimmy’s Troy review to sternly whisper to him, “Jimmy, TV voice!”
— We get our final callback to the long-recurring Jimmy-punches-Tina “Fight Club” bit from some of the prior Fallon/Fey Updates, and Tina even wistfully points out to Jimmy “That may be the last time you hit me”, before tricking Jimmy by suddenly punching him.
— Well, I guess it was obligatory that Jimmy’s final Update features a commentary from Horatio. (*sigh*) You know how I feel about these Fallon/Sanz Update pieces, but at least this is the last time I’ll have to endure this.
— Yep, and there goes the obligatory loose Fallon/Sanz ad-libbing and laughing. I admit, as much I don’t care for it, I’m finding a slight charm to it here, knowing this is Jimmy’s final Update. I’ll let Jimmy have his fun here.
— A laugh from Horatio’s character slyly trying to pass off “Stadium Construction” as an Olympic event.
— As an SNL nerd, I like how Horatio’s commentary ends with him imitating the catchphrases from both the Olympia Cafe and Hub’s Gyros recurring sketches from SNL’s past.
— A nice farewell message that Jimmy delivers during his sign-off at the end of this Update, and I love the poignant touch of him subverting his usual trademark of throwing his pencil towards the camera by actually placing the pencil inside his jacket pocket this time.
STARS: **½


PAT ‘N PATTI’S BACKPACK SHACK
crackerjack sack flacks yak

— Oof, I am not liking this corny humor AT ALL. What the hell is this kind of thing doing on SNL? I think I recall an online comment from back at this time in 2004 saying this sketch felt like the type of corny humor that was rampant in the Dick Ebersol era of SNL. I agreed with that comment back then in ’04 when I was only vaguely familiar with the Ebersol era and somewhat associated it with hacky, annoying dreck like The Whiners, but after reviewing the entire Ebersol era in this SNL project of mine, I’ve gained a bigger appreciation for that era and find that it’s nowhere near as corny or hacky as I and others once deemed. I now find it hard to picture Ebersol ever letting a sketch like this on the air, but that still might be giving him a little too much credit.
— What is this, fucking amateur hour at SNL? You’d sure think so from watching Jimmy’s performance during his short appearance, combined with the corny writing of this sketch. Jimmy’s delivery in this sketch is extremely sloppy, he looks like he’s on the verge of busting out laughing the entire time, and he even flat out says “Oops!” after one of several line flubs he makes here. Jesus Christ. Once again tonight, I ask: this is an about-to-depart six-season SNL veteran I’m watching?!? Look, I like Jimmy, but man, this sketch REALLY accentuates the weaknesses he’s had as a performer over the years.
— Overall, this sketch didn’t produce a single laugh from me, nor did it produce a single moment that DIDN’T make me cringe. And I still want to know what the hell this kind of thing was doing on SNL.
STARS: *


ACCESS HOLLYWOOD
Olsen triplet (FRA) was edited out of New York Minute

— Blah, yet another display of bad “Pat O’Brien can’t breathe through his nose” jokes. I would say “At least this is the last time we’ll ever see it”, but I’m not 100% sure, as I think Jimmy later reprises his British Pat O’Brien in a Spy Glass sketch from the following season’s Cameron Diaz episode, which Jimmy cameos in.
— I remember finding Fred hilarious in this sketch when it originally aired, but in the years since then, I’ve gotten really burned out on men-in-drag humor on SNL, with a few exceptions. I don’t think this sketch is going to be one of those exceptions.
— I did get a laugh just now from the reveal of Fred’s Olsen Twin wearing granny panties under her skirt.
— Overall, some mild laughs, but I wasn’t a big fan of this sketch as a whole.
STARS: **½


ROLLER RINK
at a roller rink in 1979, Bloater brothers wilt when (hosts) get amorous

— Tonight’s Jimmy Fallon Farewell Tour continues.
— The Bloaters Brothers make their first appearance in quite a long while.
— The flashback premise is a bit of a change of pace for these Bloater Brothers sketches, but the humor here is kinda washing over me. I’m usually a defender of the Bloater Brothers, but I feel a bit lukewarm on their routine this time around.
— Hell yeah! A rare onscreen Don Pardo appearance! Great way to end this sketch.
STARS: **½


FAMILY BARBECUE
dad (CHP) uses camcorder to chronicle indoor Memorial Day family barbecue

— A laugh from the deviled eggs with M&Ms in them.
— Chris always plays such a good cheesy dad, and it’s good to see Chris starring in a sketch for once. Actually, I shouldn’t say “for once”, as this is actually the second consecutive sketch tonight starring or co-starring him, but it feels kinda rare to see him starring in an original one-off sketch.
— Interesting structure to this sketch, which you don’t see often in this era.
— Seth is fairly funny as the immature older brother.
— A cameo from Chris’ buttcrack.
STARS: ***


THE ADVENTURES OF HAROLD
by T. Sean Shannon- bald 12 year-old at school

 

— Hmm, well, THIS is certainly a huge change of pace for this era.
— The lack of any SNL performers, or anyone recognizable at all, gives this an even odder feel.
— I’m enjoying the aesthetic and acting in this, making this feel even more refreshingly out-of-the-ordinary for this SNL era.
— Good reveal at the end, though I’m surprised this film is ending already.
— Overall, not a bad film.
— This would end up being turned into a movie years later.
STARS: ***


SUMMERTIME
cast members’ summer medley culminates in Grease-inspired JIF & TIF duet

— The use of a locker room for the cast feels like a nice throwback to backstage sketches from the original SNL era. I know some of the SNL eras after the original one also occasionally used cast locker rooms in backstage sketches, but I can’t remember the last time we saw that.
— Oh, I absolutely love how meta this sketch is, with the cast lamenting this being the final sketch of the season while simultaneously anticipating their summer break. I believe this is the very first end-of-season goodbye sketch featuring every single member of the cast since “So Long Farewell” from exactly 10 years prior.
— So many endearing little details thrown in all throughout this. I even like the various odd ways the female cast members pronounce Horatio’s name, even though that seems to be a very inside joke.
— A great Travolta-esque entrance from Jimmy, appearing in his farewell sketch.
— A nice Grease turn in the music after Jimmy’s entrance.
— Lots of great random bits all throughout this sketch, such as Maya joining in Amy and Will’s “Summer Breeze” duet to do a vocalization of the guitar notes from that song, and Jimmy having to restrain Kenan when Kenan gets way too into his gesturing during the Grease song. But my absolute favorite random aspect of this sketch is definitely Darrell in the background, just leaning against the lockers for almost the entire sketch while looking down at his coffee cup in a very deadpan, emotionless manner, not participating at all in any of the various songs his castmates are doing. I’ve seen some SNL fans complain about that aspect of this sketch, as they assumed Darrell was genuinely being a sourpuss and went off-script by refusing to participate in any of the songs. Not only am I certain that Darrell’s lack of participation is a scripted part of this sketch, but that it’s also intended as a humorous meta commentary on 1) how detached Darrell is from the rest of this cast, and 2) how much Darrell’s somber, dry personality clashes against an upbeat musical piece like this. Darrell’s also unintentionally doing a spot-on impression of how I personally would typically act if I had to participate in any kind of musical number like this, so perhaps that’s why this aspect of this sketch resonates so much with me.
— I love the comically unnecessary use of a split-screen when Jimmy and Tina are singing right next to each other.
— Overall, I could not have loved this sketch any more. An extremely fun, epic, and amazing end-of-season goodbye sketch, and also a fitting and fun sendoff to Jimmy. I recall hearing that Amy and Fred both wrote this, and they didn’t even intend for it to be a farewell to Jimmy, as they weren’t 100% sure yet about his departure when they were writing this. They wrote this sketch as both a farewell to the season and as a “Thank you” to loyal SNL viewers. I guess it’s just a coincidence that it ended up working out as such a nice sendoff for Jimmy.
STARS: *****


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Nothing special as a season finale, aside from the final sketch. The show hit a lull for a while after Update, but as a whole, this episode wasn’t too bad. However, given the upswing in quality this season has surprisingly experienced the last few episodes prior to this, I was hoping this season would end on a higher note than it did.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Snoop Dogg)
a step down


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS ENTIRE SEASON, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS OVERALL SEASON STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (2002-03)
Kinda hard to say. Before the last few episodes of this season, I definitely would’ve said this season is a slight step down from the preceding one, but the aforementioned upswing this season’s quality took towards the end makes me have some second thoughts about where this season stands against the preceding one. I’ll have to just put an N/A for now, until I come to a decision.


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Season 30 begins, with host Ben Affleck, one new addition to the cast, and a new co-anchor for Weekend Update

Posted on

May 8, 2004 – Snoop Dogg / Avril Lavigne (S29 E19)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

FRIENDS
George W. Bush (WLF) & Donald Rumsfeld (DAH) reunite a la Friends finale

— A great sudden turn with Maya’s Condoleezza Rice delivering an uncharacteristic Phoebe-from-Friends-esque “My taxi’s outside, I’ll drive you to the airport!”, which is followed by scene transition music from Friends, making you realize that this cold opening is turning into a parody of the big Friends series finale that had aired earlier that week.
— I love Will-as-Bush’s panicked, dramatic yell of “Let ‘im off the plane!” when listening to the answer machine message.
— This cold opening does the near-impossible and manages to make a man-on-man kiss from this SNL era actually come off damn funny. Part of what makes this particular man-on-man kiss work is the fact that it’s a Friends finale spoof, and another part of what makes it work is Will’s extreme commitment during the kiss, to the degree that he causes Darrell to eventually break.
— This is only Will’s third time playing Bush, and he continues to do a good job making the impression his own, and strong sketches like this help solidify to viewers that Will’s not going to be yet another another one-season-and-done Bush impersonator like Chris and Darrell before him.
— Will’s Bush plants another lustful kiss on Darrell-as-Donald-Rumsfeld’s cheek during Rumsfeld’s “Live from New York…”, which must be an ad-lib, as Darrell IMMEDIATELY loses it and breaks, as if he wasn’t expecting it. A great way to cap off this very strong and memorable cold opening.
STARS: ****½


MONOLOGUE
host cautions white America to cool it with the “izzle” talk

— Wow. Right out of the gate in this monologue, SNL breaks format by giving Snoop Dogg a very unconventional, outlandish entrance. Right as Don Pardo is about to announce Snoop, the theme music suddenly stops and is replaced with a musical tribal chant of “Snoop Doggy Dogg”, harem girls are seen dancing around the home base stage, child servants assist Snoop onstage after Pardo announces him, and Snoop is then joined by all of the female cast members. Oh, and everybody that I mentioned is all dressed in ancient native outfits. I love this whole monologue entrance gimmick. SNL rarely does anything out of the ordinary with their own format like this by this point of the show’s run.
— Some funny lines from Snoop addressing the annoying trend of white people speaking in “izzle” talk.
— Snoop’s line about how white people used to love pig-latin is very funny.
— An overall short and sweet monologue, and Snoop handled it really well.
STARS: ***½


MOM JEANS
A second rerun this season of a popular Mother’s Day commercial that originally aired the preceding season


¡SHOW BIZ GRANDE EXPLOSION!
Fericito doesn’t understand host’s humor

— Horatio’s character laughing in an insanely wild, hammy manner in response to a joke from Fericito actually cracked me up, even though I usually can’t stand that type of hamminess from Horatio by this point of his SNL tenure.
— (*sigh*) By this point of Fred’s SNL tenure, I’ve seen enough “Ay dios mio!”s from Fericito to last me a lifetime. That catchphrase and accompanying camera zoom-in has gotten to the official point where it’s slowly starting to get on my last nerve.
— A decent pre-taped “Fericito-Walking” segment with Fericito and SNL writer Emily Spivey. I don’t mind Fericito when he actually does something different for a change, such as this.
— Snoop’s “CDeez nuts” was a cheap joke, but his delivery of it had me freakin’ HOWLING.
— I love Horatio’s character’s amusement over Snoop’s crude jokes to Fericito.
— Snoop is a really fun guest in this sketch, and is giving this a boost.
STARS: ***


RAP BATTLE
wheelchair-bound (host) solicits sympathy to win rap-off competition

host performs “Nuthin’ But A ‘G’ Thang”

— Always a treat to see a J.B. Smoove sighting during these years, but it feels weird and kind of a waste seeing him play a silent, non-comedic role here, given how damn funny he usually is.
— A laugh from Snoop’s character unexpectedly entering in a wheelchair.
— Oh. My. God. Seth, of all people, entering the sketch as a “cool” rapper?!? Ha, this I gotta see. Why don’t I remember this portion of this sketch from my past viewings of it?
— Is Seth wearing the exact same outfit previously worn by “Ass Face” in the TRL sketch from season 27’s Jon Stewart episode? (side-by-side comparison below)

Seth must really like wearing that costume, as he’s later seen wearing it again during tonight’s goodnights.

— Snoop’s depressing raps about being in a wheelchair are freakin’ hilarious. I remember an online SNL fan back at this time in 2004 pointing out how this sketch had kind of a Michael O’Donoghue-esque dark feel, which made me love this sketch even more.
— Kenan’s extreme mugging and goofy grinning towards the audience during his appearance in this sketch reminds me of a HUGE gripe some online SNL fans had with Kenan during these early seasons of his. Those SNL fans complained to no end about Kenan’s penchant for hammy mugging and goofy big grins towards the audience in many sketches he appeared in. This is before the days when Kenan learned to tone down those aspects of himself as he grew as a performer.
— A big laugh from the great little part with Maya having to place a deaf Kenan’s hand onto the speaker so he can feel the beat.
— Hmm, a fourth wall break ending, with Snoop suddenly dropping character, getting out of the wheelchair, and breaking into a performance of his hit “Nuthin’ But a ‘G’ Thang”. Nice performance from Snoop, but ehh… I was really enjoying the hell out of where this sketch was going before this point, and this sudden turn is taking away from that. Not the way I personally would’ve ended this sketch.
STARS: ****


SCHEINWALD STUDIOS
Abe Scheinwald finds a kindred spirit in Booty Hotel pitcher (host)

— The name of Snoop’s character being MC Night Terrors is pretty funny.
— Rachel’s characterization of Abe Scheinwald is always worth some laughs.
— MC Night Terrors to Abe Scheinwald: “I like you, old dude. You like that old Muppet that be hangin’ up in the balcony criticizin’ folks.”
— During a humorously awkward pause that Rachel makes, Seth seems to try inducing a Debbie Downer-esque character break from Rachel by asking her an ad-libbed “You alright?” Rachel wisely seems to be fully aware of Seth’s attempt to get her to laugh, and she is having NONE of it, as she immediately snaps back to him, in character, “Yeah, I’m fine!”, and then goes on with the sketch. I’m glad Rachel understands how, as much of a blast as it was when she and her fellow performers had such a huge laughing meltdown during the preceding week’s Debbie Downer sketch, that type of huge laughing meltdown absolutely CANNOT become a regular thing on the show. A nice display of professionalism from Rachel here.
— This sketch is pretty much just treading the same territory of the preceding installment of this sketch, but it’s still working decently enough.
STARS: ***


ABC
ABC’s schedule is full of shows related to irresponsible plastic surgery

— Meh, the Angel Surgeons portion of this commercial fell completely flat. Where were the laughs there even supposed to be coming from?
— The Trading Noses portion of this commercial is hilarious.
— Snoop’s very menacing delivery into the camera of the line “I’m gonna cut you up, bitch!” during an extreme close-up of him holding up a knife made me laugh out loud, made even funnier by the fact that he’s dressed as a freakin’ ninja.
— Ha, funny how I mentioned earlier in this review how the clothes worn by “Ass Face” in the Jon Stewart episode was reused tonight by Seth, because in the “I Want A Butt For A Face” portion of this commercial, we get what appears to be a reuse of the Ass Face head prop. (side-by-side comparison below)

— Funny cutaway to a smiling, sleazy-looking Horatio being a fan of face-on-butt sex.
— This was kinda hit-and-miss overall, but there were definitely more hits than misses.
STARS: ***


FRIENDS
party atmosphere can’t overcome host’s despondence about end of Friends

— J.B. Smoove in a SECOND sketch tonight, and again, he’s just playing a silent, non-comedic role. I can’t stress enough what a waste this is of someone as naturally funny as him.
— Funny reveal of Snoop uncharacteristically being depressed over the fact that Friends has gone off the air.
— A very solid mock-dramatic performance from Snoop, and him emotionally going on and on about what a Friends fanatic he is is cracking me up. He is selling the hell out of this.
— When Finesse says his favorite so-called Friends moment was when “the blonde girl” got hit in the nose with a football, I love Snoop angrily responding “You damn fool! That was The Brady Bunch!”
— A hilarious photo of Snoop sporting “The Rachel” hairdo.
— A funny ending pre-taped sequence with Snoop, Kenan, and Finesse recreating the opening credits of Friends by dancing in a water fountain while the Friends theme song plays.
— At the very end of the water fountain scene, I love the ending close-up of Snoop just looking into the camera with a cool, kinda “deep” facial expression. (screencap below)

STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Don’t Tell Me”


WEEKEND UPDATE
for Iraq prisoner abuse, Lynndie England (RAD) is the Dirtbag Of The Week

Bill Clinton (DAH) expects to be blamed for Iraq prisoner abuse scandal

clips show that JIF has done holiday-related song parodies for decades

— Yikes, Tina’s two opening jokes just made me groan. Lately, she seems to use her worst and most desperate joke(s) to start off each Update, a baffling decision.
— The “Dirtbag Of The Week” segment with Rachel as Lynndie England was kinda meh for me. I only liked it for Rachel’s performance.
— (*groan*) A THIRD Bill Clinton Update commentary in just the past three months of this season? I love Darrell’s Clinton impression, but they are REALLY over-relying on it lately, especially given how long after his presidency this season is.
— Ugh, why do these Clinton Update commentaries always have to begin by wasting so much time with him flirting with Tina and being all buddy-buddy with Jimmy? It’s not working for me anymore.
— Tonight’s overall Clinton commentary had a few mild laughs, but yeah, still not enough to justify bringing him back after such an insanely short amount of time since his last two Update commentaries. I never thought I’d see the day where I’d get burned out on Darrell’s popular Clinton impression, but here we are.
— We’re getting a deviation from Jimmy’s usual Update guitar song medleys.
— Oh, I absolutely LOVE this montage of Jimmy’s Update guitar song medleys from over the years, especially when it gets to the point where, the earlier and earlier they go in SNL’s timeline, the clips clearly start becoming fake. Such a great meta SNL piece. There are so many things about this montage that I love, including the detail of recreating the Update sets of the various Update eras we’re shown “clips” of (even if some of the set recreations aren’t accurate). I remember how Jimmy’s “Thanks, Charles Rocket” line in the 1980 Update “clip” was a big favorite among online SNL nerds like me when tonight’s episode originally aired.
— Speaking of online SNL fans when tonight’s episode originally aired, this montage of Jimmy’s Update guitar song medleys was taken as a big sign among online SNL fans that Jimmy may be leaving in the following week’s season finale. Also, tonight’s Update surprisingly ends up being Jimmy’s ONLY appearance all night, which, in a strange way, kinda feels significant for what ends up being his second-to-last episode. (And we’re going to be seeing A LOT of him in his final episode.) A huge rarity for him to make his only appearance on Update (all the while Tina made three appearances tonight, funnily enough; hell, FOUR, if you count the Mom Jeans rerun), but I guess you can say this extensive montage of his Update guitar song medleys is making up for his lack of airtime elsewhere in tonight’s episode.
— I love Jimmy’s parody of Usher’s “Yeah” performance from the preceding episode, right down to the detail of Jimmy even wearing the same outfit Usher wore during that performance. Some fun dancing from Tina here as well.
STARS: ***½


APPALACHIAN EMERGENCY ROOM
country folk exhibit more weird afflictions

— I continue to feel like I’m in the minority in liking these sketches.
— As always, Amy kills in these sketches.
— Funny visual of Kenan trapped inside that claw machine.
— Blah, they always stick Will with the least funniest parts of these Appalachian Emergency Room sketches.
— Snoop: “I don’t have no pool! Who do you think I am – Donald Trump?!?”
— Snoop ends his scene by telling Seth “By the way, I ain’t peein’ in no cup.” In the rerun version of this episode, Snoop’s scene (if not the entire sketch) would be replaced with the dress rehearsal version, which ends in a completely different manner, with Snoop’s character bringing a very long line of family members to accompany him to his assigned room. (A rerun of tonight’s episode was never aired on NBC, by the way, much like this season’s Colin Firth episode. I believe the reason for the lack of reruns for either episode is because over the summer of 2004, NBC aired quite a lot of new “Best Of” specials for cast members and hosts, which I guess didn’t leave any room for a rerun of tonight’s or the Firth episode. It’s similar to how the barrage of “Best Of”s aired during the summer of 1998 prevented a large number of season 23 episodes from ever getting an NBC rerun.)
STARS: ***


TV FUNHOUSE
“Pothead Theater” by RBS- stoner-requested cartoons turn tables on humans

— An unusual TV Funhouse, and also a rare case of TV Funhouse heavily featuring live-action scenes.
— Hmm. Not sure this is working for me so far.
— I did get a laugh just now from the animation of ketchup shaking people out of a bottle. However, do we need EVERY animation scene to be followed by a moronic laughing shot of the individual pothead who requested the respective animation scene? Those laughing shots are far more annoying than funny to me.
— Meh, after an upswing with the aforementioned ketchup scene, this TV Funhouse has gone back to not making me laugh.
— Okay, I absolutely loved the bit just now with an animation of a TV watching a person, which ends up looking no different from what an animation of a person watching a TV would look like. I also like the subsequent cutaway to the two potheads who requested that animation just staring into the camera in unamused, stone-faced (no pun intended) manner instead of laughing moronically like the other potheads in this TV Funhouse.
— Overall, this TV Funhouse was mostly a miss for me, but the great ending scene gave this a big boost.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “My Happy Ending”


DUSTER’S DIGEST
Duster’s Digest magazine has its focus on the lifestyle of PCP users

— Odd how this is the second consecutive comedy segment tonight that’s drug-related, though I guess its fitting, given tonight’s host.
— Very funny entrance from Amy.
— I love Will’s delivery during his testimony. Even just the way he says “Duster’s Digest” is strangely amusing.
— A good laugh from Seth cluelessly making his phone call onto a burning iron pressed against his face, and not even being fazed by it.
STARS: ***


MOTHER’S DAY MESSAGE FROM SNOOP DOGG
in his Mother’s Day Message, host thanks his mom for birthing him

— An interesting little change of pace for this SNL era. Almost has the feel of a typical Steve Martin piece from the late 80s SNL era (e.g. A Holiday Wish and To My Love), right down to the little detail of Snoop holding a rose the entire time.
— An overall simple but pretty good bit, and had some heart.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A consistently good episode, with nothing I disliked besides the TV Funhouse (and even THAT at least tried something new, plus it had a strong ending). This didn’t feel like a typical season 29 episode to me. (Then again, with this being the third consecutive good episode, I’m seriously wondering if this disappointing season has been experiencing a turnaround as the end of the season approaches.) Snoop Dogg was the fun, laid-back host you’d expect him to be, right from his unique monologue entrance, and I found that he worked particularly well in the odder bits that deviated from his image, like the wheelchair sketch and the Friends sketch.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Lindsay Lohan)
about the same


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Season 29 comes to an end, with hosts Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, the second about-to-turn-18-years-old hosts in just the last three episodes, and also the very first set of twins to ever co-host SNL. It’s also the farewell of Jimmy Fallon.

Posted on

May 1, 2004 – Lindsay Lohan / Usher (S29 E18)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PREPARATION
Dick Cheney (DAH) coaches George W. Bush (WLF) before 9/11 testimony

— It’s both odd and kinda redundant how this is the second consecutive cold opening with Darrell’s Dick Cheney preparing someone for their 9/11 testimony (Condoleezza Rice last time, President Bush this time).
— Will makes his first appearance as present-day Bush, after previously playing young Bush in a 1960s sketch.
— President Bush: “I’m George W. Bush, and I approve this muffin.”
— Dick Cheney to President Bush, regarding the public’s perception of him: “They think you’re like Rain Man… without the math skills.”
— Bush reading his answers off of his leg is really funny.
— Is it just me, or does Darrell’s Cheney voice sound kinda hoarse in this cold opening? Is Darrell under the weather this week?
— Some pretty good laughs from Bush’s various examples of body language.
— Will’s Bush impression continues to be a lot of fun and a big step up from both Chris and Darrell’s takes on Bush. It also helps that Will has been given better writing here than Chris and Darrell typically got in their respective Bush sketches.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
host, Hilary Duff (RAD), Avril Lavigne (AMP) end their respective feuds

— Seeing a young, baby-faced, loaded-with-potential Lindsay Lohan makes 2004 feel so long ago.
— Oh, the innocent days where the worst thing that could be seen about Lindsay Lohan in a tabloid is her little “teen queen” feud with Hilary Duff.
— The return of Amy’s Avril Lavigne, which never fails to amuse me. What makes it even more amusing this time around is the fact that Avril Lavigne is actually the musical guest in the very next episode.
— Chris: “When do you turn 18?” Hilary Duff: “(in a gleeful manner) Never!”
STARS: ***


TURLINGTON’S LOWER BACK TATTOO REMOVER
Turlington’s (CHP) Lower Back Tattoo Remover erases age-discrepant art

— A huge laugh from the time-lapsed sequence of a “Pretty Lady” tattoo on a thin woman’s back turning into the words “Pretty Sad” when her body has grown much older and saggier. I remember when this originally aired back in 2004, I didn’t even notice that the sagging tattoo read “Pretty Sad”, and thus, I didn’t understand why Chris subsequently said the line “Pretty sad indeed.”
— Great bit with Amy exclaiming “Mother(*bleep*)!” in response to the tattoo remover burning her skin.
— As usual, Chris is fantastic as the spokesperson.
— Very funny ending bit about Amy having a child from a crazy weekend in Jamaica.
STARS: ****


JARRET’S ROOM
stoner (host) moves in & meets a weed-smoking robot

— This ends up being the final Jarret’s Room sketch.
— I remember when tonight’s episode originally aired, I and some other online SNL fans were surprised that SNL didn’t save Jarret’s Room for the following week’s episode, given a certain weed-lover who’s hosting that night (you’ll see who it is at the every end of this review) and who seemed like he would fit perfectly into the weed-centric Jarret’s Room.
— Wow, DJ Jonathan Feinstein’s Britney Spears/Toxic bit got cut off surprisingly fast by Jarret. Was SNL afraid of giving some viewers certain “feelings” over seeing Seth in that bodysuit?
— For once, Gobi makes a straightforward entrance instead of one of his trademark weed-centric gimmicky entrances.
— Jarret mentions that he and Gobi are finally moving off campus after tonight’s episode. I recall how, when this originally aired, many online SNL fans took this as a sign that Jimmy’s leaving SNL at the end of this season. IIRC, Jimmy’s departure wouldn’t be publicly confirmed until earlier in the same day of his final episode.
— A funny asinine flashback sequence of something that we saw happen literally just a few seconds ago.
— The Will Forte-voiced weed-smoking robot is absolutely stealing this sketch and is making this easily one of the better Jarret’s Room installments. A good way for this recurring sketch to go out.
STARS: ***½


HOGWARTS ACADEMY
Hermione’s (host) newfound cleavage bewitches Harry Potter (RAD)

— Hoo, boy. Here comes a sketch that…uh, will certainly be…uh, interesting to discuss by today’s standards.
— And there famously walks in Lindsay as a cleavage-sporting Hermoine.
— As just a 19-year-old when this sketch originally aired during the less-self-aware year of 2004, I had no issue with SNL doing a sketch inappropriately centering around a 17-year-old’s cleavage. 19-year-old me even partook in this sketch’s male characters’ ogling of said cleavage, as much as I don’t want to admit that anymore. Now that I’m in my mid-30s and times have certainly changed, I’m able to recognize how troublesome this sketch is. It’s a shame that this sketch doesn’t hold up too well anymore, because I recall liking this sketch a lot back when it originally aired… and, no, not just because of Lindsay’s cleavage. 19-year-old me got a lot of laughs from the sketch’s humor, performances, and plenty of what I deemed to be quote-worthy lines. (Unfortunately, my old review for this episode that I did back in 2004 when this episode originally aired is lost, unlike most of the other season 29 reviews that I originally did back then.) The fact that Harry Potter was something I was never into, and yet this sketch could still get a lot out laughs out of 19-year-old me says a lot about this sketch.
— An amusing visual of Horatio entering in that wig and beard.
— Ugh, right after I give Horatio a compliment, he has to piss all over it by cracking up at himself as usual.
STARS: **½


RIDING WITH BILLY JOEL
erratic chauffeur Billy Joel (HOS) sings while driving recklessly

— A funny spoof of Billy Joel’s drunk-driving woes from around this time, even if it feels kinda wrong for SNL to spoof such a thing. (Then again, the Harry Potter sketch that I had just watched prior to this sketch has kinda numbed me to other cases of “wrong” humor on SNL).
— I’ve been one of Horatio’s harshest critics this season, and even *I* can admit that he’s doing a killer job in his portrayal of a drunken Billy Joel.
— A memorable blooper in which a mailbox that gets thrown onto the car from off-camera gets stuck on the windshield accidentally, which completely blocks the performers from the camera, leaving the female performers in genuine hysterics. Horatio solves this predicament with an ad-lib in which he leans out of the car window to his side and uses his beer bottle to shove the mailbox off of the windshield. Excellent save from Horatio.
— Speaking of the mailbox, I wonder if that’s the same mailbox that was used in a similar manner then-recently in the Donnie G. And Sidecar sketch from the Ben Affleck episode.
— Wow, a particularly over-the-top shriek of “YOU NEED HELP, BUSTER!!!” from Maya to Horatio’s Billy Joel.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Ludacris [real] perform “Yeah!”


WEEKEND UPDATE
list-loving Jorge Rodriguez (HOS) failed the GED test many times

— A very odd and unprecedented moment in SNL history occurs right now, in which, right as Jimmy’s about to deliver a joke (a Donald Trump joke, no less), a voice from a real audience member actually interrupts the show by audibly calling out “Hey, Jimmy?”, and Jimmy immediately turns towards the voice in the audience and responds “Yeah?” (which says something about Jimmy, as I feel most Weekend Update anchors would’ve just ignored an audience member calling out their name). The audience member then says what sounds like “Yeah, up here” (it’s hard to tell exactly what he said, as he’s speaking from quite a distance and obviously isn’t mic’ed), and Jimmy just goes “I’ll talk to you later on, my brother” and then ad-libs towards the camera “I hate when my father gets drunk” (which I swear is an ad-lib Jimmy also used in a previous Update, but I’m not 100% sure). There’s actually a backstory to this whole incident. According to an online comment in 2004 from an SNL fan who stood on the standby line to get tickets for this episode, there was a guy on the line who kept obnoxiously bragging to everybody that if he gets a ticket to the show, he’s going to make SNL history by interrupting the show from the audience and asking Jimmy Fallon a question during Weekend Update. Most of the people on the standby line probably assumed the guy was just bluffing, but as they later saw, he ended up following through on his word.
— The Bill Clinton book cover that SNL made up (first screencap below) reminds me a lot of a made-up book cover that SNL used in a presidential address cold opening that Darrell’s Clinton did in the Julianne Moore episode from season 23 (second screencap below).

— Meh, another Horatio Update commentary with him interacting with Jimmy, which almost always spells doom.
— Horatio’s at least not going off the rails with typical unfunny ad-libs and laughing-at-himself antics that his Update commentaries often feature, but ugh, this commentary with his character listing off a whole bunch of things is comedy death to me.
— When Horatio’s character asks if anyone’s seen his friend Pepe, Jimmy ad-libs “I think he was just up there”, pointing towards the portion of the audience that the aforementioned audience member who interrupted Jimmy earlier in tonight’s Update was seated. When the audience is laughing and applauding this ad-lib of Jimmy’s, Jimmy can be heard saying “He got removed”, acknowledging that the audience member got kicked out for his interruption.
— Tonight’s Update is doing quite a number of callbacks to bits Jimmy and Tina did earlier this season, such as Jimmy and Tina’s conversation about dirty Dutch terms, and the punchline of an STD joke being Jimmy turning to a side camera and saying “You’re welcome”.
STARS: **½


DEBBIE DOWNER
at Disney World, gloomy Debbie Downer (RAD) dispirits a family reunion

— Oh, here’s a VERY famous SNL sketch.
— My first laugh in this sketch comes from Kenan’s name being Billiam. Even just his delivery of that name is inherently funny.
— I like how the opening title sequence and theme music feel kinda like a throwback to SNL’s late 80s/early 90s era, which had tons of characters with their own opening title sequence and theme song. I recall this Debbie Downer sketch being the beginning of somewhat of a revival of title sequences and theme songs for recurring characters, as we’ll be seeing quite a number of them the following two seasons.
— Naturally, Jimmy and Horatio are the very first performers to break in this sketch (the fifth above screencap for this sketch), while the other performers initially remain unfazed.
— And there we go. Rachel’s line flub, “The media’s so sensitive there… so secretive…”, as well as Jimmy’s laughter at said line flub, is what officially causes Rachel to start losing it, setting off a chain reaction around the table. The famous widespread meltdown has officially begun.
— Wow. Just wow. It is truly something to see this sketch gradually meltdown so badly. Very unprecedented in SNL history up to this point. (Seems to be quite a number of unprecedented moments happening tonight). I’m usually against how unprofessional this particular SNL cast has slowly been becoming around this season, and of course, I’ve been very vocal of my dislike of the undeserved free rein Jimmy and Horatio are often given to carelessly derail sketches with their laughing and other unprofessional antics, but goddammit, everybody’s breaking is a fucking RIOT in this sketch, and their simultaneous laughter combined with the audience’s uproarious reactions is very infectious.
— What makes Rachel’s breaking here even funnier is the fact that, as part of the sketch, the camera has to frequently do “Wah-wahhhhh” zoom-ins on Debbie Downer’s face, and thus, we get lots of zoom-ins of Rachel fighting unsuccessfully to keep a straight face so she can do her character’s trademark deadpan looks into the zoomed-in camera.
— Now here comes one PARTICULARLY epic part, and the moment that, in my opinion, officially propels this sketch into legendary status: Rachel literally crying with laughter when struggling to deliver the big line “By the way, it’s official: I can’t have children.” A freakin’ classic moment.
— Another truly classic moment right now, with Horatio being seen using a fucking MICKEY MOUSE WAFFLE to wipe off his tears from laughter.
— Fred is the ONLY performer keeping a straight face (aside from what appeared to be genuine giggling from him after he and the others posed together for a photo). According to an SNL fan who went to this episode and was also among a crowd of people outside 30 Rock getting autographs from cast members after the show, Fred, while giving autographs, was asked why he didn’t join in on his fellow performers’ laughing in the Debbie Downer sketch. Fred explained that he had no clue why they were laughing and he didn’t feel that he should laugh just because THEY were laughing. A very admirable display of professionalism from Fred. Too bad it wouldn’t last, though, as his later seasons on the show are quite fraught with breaking from him, especially whenever he teams up with Bill Hader.
— Overall, a historic, legendary, and hilarious meltdown among the performers, with a few very memorable and great little ad-libs, making this sketch an all-timer. I can definitely see some people finding this sketch overrated, but for me, this sketch deserves the hype.
— It’s really too bad that the importance and novelty of this sketch is slightly diminished by the fact that SNL would turn this into a recurring sketch later on – a bad decision. It should’ve been obvious to SNL that the only reason this first Debbie Downer sketch was such an instant hit is because of the huge extent that the performers broke during it. The written material itself was only mildly funny at best. And the very tepid, blooper-less second installment of this sketch, in the following season’s Ben Affleck-hosted season premiere, pretty much bombs with the audience and further proves how not-so-great the written material behind Debbie Downer always was, and how wrong it was for SNL to assume people wanted to see more of these sketches without the performers breaking.
STARS: *****


CLUB TRAXX
hook of young pop duo D.A.D.I. (RAD) & (host) is lesbianism

— Ugh, this sketch once again. This thankfully ends up being the final installment.
— The clip of Amy performing dance music onstage (the second above screencap for this sketch) truly looks like something straight out of Deep House Dish, a recurring sketch that SNL would debut a few seasons later (and would draw my ire, as I I recall absolutely despising those sketches with a fiery passion back when they originally aired). It even looks like Amy’s performance in this Club Traxx sketch is using the exact same Deep House Dish performance stage and exact same Deep House Dish onscreen graphic of the  singer’s name and title of the song they’re performing, though I’m only going by my memory of what Deep House Dish typically looked like (I haven’t watched an installment of that sketch in ages).
— I’m getting a pretty good laugh from Will’s open-shirt performance.
— The D.A.D.I. stuff with Rachel and Lindsay is doing nothing for me.
— Nothing else to say so far. I’ve complained enough about this recurring sketch in past installments, and am ready to happily see this sketch enter retirement.
STARS: *½


SLEEPOVER
hyper preteen Kaitlin (AMP) welcomes sleepover veteran (host) to her home

— The debut of another recurring sketch that I recall despising with a fiery passion back when it originally aired. I’ll try to go into this debut with an open mind tonight, as I’ve seen some people make a good case when defending this recurring sketch.
— This recurring sketch debut was cut from the preceding episode, where I assume host Janet Jackson played the same role Lindsay is playing here.
— I’m actually finding a slice-of-life-ish charm to this sketch, just like defenders of this recurring sketch always claim it has. I especially like the charm of Amy-as-Kaitlin’s interactions with Horatio’s Rick, particularly when he helps get her out of a lie she told Lindsay regarding having a pool. Also, as people always point out about these sketches, it’s astounding how the usually breakable Horatio is consistently able to keep a straight face at Amy screaming in his face.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Burn”


17TH ANNUAL ADULT MOVIE AWARDS
fear of FCC produces truncated broadcast

— Some pretty good cheap laughs from the endless barrage of fictional porn star names.
— I like the little joke of some non-porn-star celebrity names being thrown into the mix, such as Jimmy Kimmel and SNL’s own Darrell Hammond.
STARS: ***


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A fun episode; in fact, it’s easily one of the more upbeat episodes of this season. This episode wasn’t perfect, but, unlike a lot of this season’s episodes, it had a consistently entertaining and fun vibe that made even some of the misfires more forgivable. There were even some all-time memorable and funny bloopers, such as the Billy Joel mailbox-on-the-windshield incident and the entire Debbie Downer sketch.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Janet Jackson)
a mild step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Snoop Dogg

Posted on

April 10, 2004 – Janet Jackson (S29 E17)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PREPARATION
Dick Cheney (DAH) coaches Condoleezza Rice (host) to flash a boob

— Darrell-as-Cheney’s extended phone conversation with an unseen President Bush has some laughs, but makes it painfully obvious that SNL doesn’t seem to have an official Bush impersonator by this point. I guess even after that 1960s sketch from this season’s Drew Barrymore episode where Will Forte played a young Bush, SNL is still iffy on the idea of Will OFFICIALLY taking over the Bush impression by playing present-day Bush. That would change in the very next episode.
— Interesting decision to have Condoleezza Rice being played by tonight’s host, Janet Jackson, instead of Maya once again.
— Darrell’s Cheney has some funny lines to Janet’s Rice.
— A good laugh from Darrell’s Cheney suddenly suggesting that Rice flash a boob during her 9/11 testimony, referencing a certain then-recent infamous incident from tonight’s host.
— Janet-as-Rice’s toothy smiling during her 9/11 testimony is funny.
— SNL was too early on their cue to blur out Janet-as-Rice’s boob flash, plus you can clearly see that Janet’s wearing a bra, but the gag is still working enough for me.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
host’s home movies unconvincingly show she’s from a normal family

— Pretty funny bit about three siblings that Janet forgot about.
— Another obligatory “wardrobe malfunction” reference. This one didn’t work for me as much as the one in the cold opening.
— An overall pretty short monologue, but maybe that’s for the best.
STARS: **½


BRIAN FELLOW’S SAFARI PLANET
(host) & flying squirrel are a distraction

— Ooooooookay. So I take it from this Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet opening title sequence on my screen right now that Tracy Morgan is cameoing AGAIN this season?
— Yep, there he is. I love Tracy, but it’s a little sad seeing him hanging onto SNL so hard this first season after his departure from the cast, especially considering how tonight’s episode is around the time when a cancellation of Tracy’s unsuccessful NBC sitcom was all but confirmed by this point. As we know now, though, his post-SNL career would later take off.
— The whole conversation between Brian Fellow and Janet regarding if her flying squirrel is aware of 9/11 is hilarious.
— I love’s Will’s deadpan “I really don’t know how to respond to that” line about a particularly asinine thing Fellow asks regarding Will’s French poodle hating America.
— Fellow falling in love with Janet’s character dispels any assumptions that I (and I’m sure a lot of people) previously had about Fellow’s sexual orientation.
STARS: ***½


TICKET LINE
Starkisha balks at paying $250 for a ticket to a Janet Jackson concert

— Oh, god. Fucking Starkisha.
— Finesse In A Dress alert.
— Some self-deprecating humor with Janet playing a character complaining about Janet Jackson’s ticket prices and spreading unflattering rumors about Janet.
— Amy’s very whitebred, nosy character is cracking me up.
— Kenan telling Chris, in regards to Starkisha and her friends, “I’m just as afraid of people like that as you are” made me laugh, but felt like an inferior variation of his great line to Chris in the first Starkisha sketch (“Why they gotta be my friends? Hey, man, I came with YOU.”).
— Overall, while this sketch was still certainly bad, it didn’t come off quite as cringeworthy as the first Starkisha sketch and this had a few more saving graces.
STARS: **½


AN EASTER TREAT FROM SNL
HOS, CHK, TRM, JIF, Simon Cowell [real] perform a happy Christmas ditty

— Oh, hell yeah, the return of the “I Wish It Was Christmas Today” routine, always a favorite of mine.
— I gotta say, though – Chris Kattan cameoing for the THIRD episode this first season after his departure from the cast?!? And I thought it was sad that Tracy’s been hanging onto SNL so hard after leaving. With Kattan on his third cameo of the season and Tracy on his second, I’m starting to ask myself if either of them even truly left the cast?
— Interesting twist with this turning out to be an audition for Simon Cowell, who’s in the audience.
— Funny bit with Simon questioning what Kattan does in the band.
— I like Tracy’s “Imma kick this dude’s ass!” after an insult Simon directs at the band.
— Pretty fun turn with Simon joining in on the musical number while the audience musically claps along to the beat.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
host performs “All Nite (Don’t Stop)”


WEEKEND UPDATE
off the record, Condoleezza Rice (MAR) outs co-workers’ lack of diligence

maudlin Kevin Eubanks (FIM) laughs at TIF’s lame joke

JIF sings the theme from nonexistent James Bond film “Jewel Eye”

— Looks like we get Maya as Condoleezza Rice tonight after all. What’s the point of having her play Rice the same night Janet did? Kinda reminds me of Martin Short and Rich Hall both playing Doug Henning at separate points in a single season 10 episode, but at least SNL lampshaded that by having Rich Hall’s Doug Henning say a tongue-in-cheek line about SNL having two Doug Hennings and how it’s an optical illusion. We get no lampshading of the sort with SNL’s two Condoleezza Rices tonight.
— Some laughs from Maya’s Rice gossiping in an off-the-record voice, making decent use of Maya’s knack for doing lots of “white” voices that Janet may not have been able to pull off had she done this same commentary.
— WTF? Finesse suddenly appearing out of nowhere as Kevin Eubanks from The Tonight Show?
— Again, I ask, WTF? What in the world was the point of the extremely brief Kevin Eubanks “commentary”?
— Tina’s mean-spirited joke about Jewel’s teeth rubbed me the wrong way. I don’t know why I found it so off-putting, given the fact that Update anchors over the years have certainly done lots of harsh jokes about celebrities.
— I think I used up all of my “WTF”s too early, because now we get this incredibly dumb and unfunny bit with Jimmy singing a James Bond-esque “Jewel Eye” song, which isn’t working for me at all. And unfortunately, THAT’S what they’re ending this Update on.
STARS: **½


PRINCE SHOW
Paula Abdul (host) & Steve Harvey (KET) visit

— A laugh from the camera panning over to Prince’s “scared” face (the third above screencap for this sketch).
— Kenan’s Steve Harvey impression makes its debut, and, wow, it’s COMPLETELY different from the Steve Harvey impression that we’re used to seeing Kenan do nowadays. Also weird in retrospect to see him playing Harvey with actual hair.
— Prince’s cry-singing while crawling on the floor is really funny. Even Janet seems to be cracking up at it.
— Overall, a decent Prince Show installment, but you can sense that the novelty of these sketches is slowly starting to wear off.
STARS: ***


CORKSOAKERS
(HOS) & (JIF) educate winery tourists on the art of soaking corks

— Another in the series of this era’s dirty wordplay sketches.
— This looks like the same set from another Italian winery sketch this season, where Jack Black played a wine taster doing an endless amount of spit-takes.
— An okay double entendre concept, but I’m not exactly bowled over with hysterical laughter.
— I love Rachel as a toothless grandma who still “soaks cork” at her old age.
— One of the more remembered aspects of this sketch is an unscripted one, with Janet always having trouble saying “soaking cork” instead of the actual term it’s a play on.
— After how bad of a laughing meltdown they had in the preceding episode, I’m glad Jimmy and Horatio are keeping their shit together in this sketch.
— When the winery guys are hornily rushing towards Janet and have to be held back, there’s a funny little detail that’s easy to miss, in which Jimmy grooms himself by combing his hair AND his thick fake mustache (screencap below).

— Overall, a very polarizing sketch among SNL fans (as is any dirty wordplay sketch that’s not Schwetty Balls), as it seems people either love or hate this sketch. I’m somewhere straight in the middle. I found this sketch amusing enough and it had a fun vibe, but to me, the sketch as a whole was just average and I didn’t find the puns to be nearly as well-written or funny as the ones in the preceding season’s Colonel Angus sketch.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
host performs “Strawberry Bounce”


GOOD TIMES
Florida Evans (KET) & kin persevere amidst urban tragedies

— Hell yeah, a Good Times sketch! I became an instant huge fan of this show when I discovered it in reruns during my childhood in the 90s.
— SNL writer J.B. Smoove finds himself in another noteworthy onscreen role. The casting of him as J.J. in this particular sketch shows that this season only has a small amount of black cast members.
— The fake laugh track is a very accurate spoof of the boisterous Good Times audience.
— Kenan In A Dress alert. But, by god, he sounds absolutely uncanny in his vocal impression of Florida.
— Maya’s doing a spot-on impression of how over-dramatic Thelma tends to act.
— An unintentional laugh from the Black Jesus painting falling off the wall after Kenan’s Florida lightly touches it, a blooper that Kenan handles in a very funny and expert way.
— Another sign that this season only has a small amount of black cast members, as Maya has to play both Thelma AND Willona through the magic of a fast off-camera costume change. She’s at least doing an accurate impression of both characters.
— This sketch is perfectly and humorously hitting so many of the dramatic beats and hardships that the Evans family typically faces on Good Times.
— I got a good laugh from Chris’ white guy character incorrectly thinking the name Malcolm X is pronounced “Malcolm 10”.
— I absolutely love the ending line from J.B. Smoove’s J.J.: “Would this be a bad time to tell ya’ll I got Sickle Cell?”
— Overall, such a fantastic parody of a childhood favorite show of mine.
STARS: ****½


BOOM BOOMER
in the 1970s, cocaine sparks (CHP)’s interest in party game Boom Boomer

— Weird how this is the second consecutive sketch tonight set in the 70s, but I kinda like that, in a weird way.
— Speaking of the 70s, the 70s aesthetic of this sketch, the party setting, the look of the characters, and the fact that Seth and Amy are playing the hosts of this party all kinda feel like a precursor to the famous Key Party sketch from the following season.
— After Chris’ character gets coked up, it’s great to see Chris get a chance to go extremely over-the-top, because 1) he does that so rarely on SNL, 2) he does it so well, and 3) he’s been badly underused lately. However, this feels like a weak and abrupt way to end this sketch. If that “ending” was supposed to be a punchline, I don’t get it.
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A decent episode, especially compared to both this season and the debacle of an episode that preceded this. Lots of okay material and one or two standout things.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Donald Trump)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Lindsay Lohan makes her hosting debut