Author: Stooge

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April 5, 2003 – Bernie Mac / Good Charlotte (S28 E16)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
George W. Bush (CHP) gives an update on the progress of war in Iraq

— (*groan*) Yet ANOTHER Parnell-as-President-Bush cold opening that the copy I’m watching is missing the first few minutes of. Once again, I almost get the feeling that whoever recorded the copies that I’m watching of this season’s episodes did this on purpose. Did he or she hate Parnell’s Bush impression THAT much, or is just a mere coincidence that the only times this season that this person was late in recording the show just happened to be almost every single time there was a Parnell-as-Bush cold opening?
— (*groans again*) Another Parnell-as-Bush cold opening that’s a “tell, don’t show”, straight-to-camera, address-to-the-nation piece, and right after I praised SNL in my review of the preceding episode’s cold opening for going outside of the box and finally doing a Parnell-as-Bush cold opening that, for once, didn’t have him doing a “tell, don’t show”, straight-to-camera, address-to-the-nation piece.
— Hmm, turns out there are actually some laughs in this, unlike the last address-to-the-nation cold opening Parnell’s Bush did.
— This cold opening is already wrapping up, after only a minute? Dammit, that means my copy is missing almost the entire thing, which means I can’t give it a rating.
— This cold opening actually ends on a serious note, with Parnell’s Bush somberly asking us to remember in our prayers the men and women of our armed forces and their families (this is the first live SNL episode after the war in Iraq officially began), then proceeding to deliver “Live from New York…” in a very earnest, respectful manner.
STARS: N/A (I saw too little of this cold opening to rate it fairly)


MONOLOGUE
host does stand-up about coping with the USA being on high alert

— I already know I’m in for some great stand-up here.
— Some funny material about the nation being on high alert during this Iraq war. In some ways, this talk from Bernie Mac about how these are trying times for the nation, how the nation is very tense under these circumstances, and how we’re being ordered to take an extreme amount of safety precautions, all feel awfully relatable to the situation we’re dealing with today.
— To be honest, this isn’t the funniest stand-up material I’ve seen from Bernie. However, I’m certainly laughing at it, and Bernie’s delivery alone always has me cracking up.
— In the monologue from the Tina Fey-hosted season premiere in season 39, Tina shows various clips of herself with other female cast members dancing in hosts’ monologues. One of those clips is from Bernie Mac’s monologue, but that clip is clearly not from the live show, as no such dancing takes place in Bernie’s aired monologue, nor anywhere else in the aired version of this episode. That clip must’ve been from dress rehearsal, but I’m very curious what the deal is. Did Bernie do a completely different monologue in dress rehearsal? Or was his song-and-dance with the female cast members something that appeared at the end of the monologue in dress rehearsal, after he finished the same stand-up material that he would later do in the live show?
STARS: ***½


FENWAY PARK OPENING DAY
on opening day at Fenway Park, Sully & Denise summon beer vendor (host)

— Surprisingly, this is the first Boston Teens sketch since all the way back in the first episode of this season.
— Bernie seems out of place in this recurring sketch, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, because, as I said before, his delivery always slays me, and his ranting in this sketch has been giving me most of my only laughs so far.
— Nice callback to an earlier Boston Teens sketch (from season 26’s Conan O’Brien episode), with Denise again trying to pass off an I.D. of someone named Evelyn Chang as her own I.D.
— The audience is kinda silent during portions of this, but I can’t blame them. This Boston Teens installment isn’t up to snuff.
— Jimmy slips in some Sandler mannerisms when Sully and Denise are mugging into the jumbotron.
— The marriage proposal fake-out was pretty funny.
— Overall, this felt below par for a Boston Teens sketch, despite some laughs. Between the fact that this was the first Boston Teens sketch in almost an entire season and the fact that the quality of tonight’s installment was off, I feel like I’m witnessing the early stages of the death of this recurring sketch.
STARS: **½


BRAIN BUSTERS
contestants’ ignorance of Black History irks (host)

— After Jimmy politely tip-toes around saying he won’t choose any questions from the Black History category, I got a laugh from Horatio bluntly saying “I don’t wanna.”
— I’m starting to notice that Bernie’s delivery is quite stumbly throughout tonight’s episode. He’s mispronouncing words, skipping some words in his lines altogether, etc.
— I love Bernie’s facial reaction to Jimmy’s answer of which woman refused to give up her seat on the bus: Tina Turner.
— Haha, Horatio answers Tootie to the aforementioned seat-on-the-bus question.
— Man, I am laughing non-stop during this sketch. Between Jimmy and Horatio’s ridiculously bad answers and Bernie’s fiery-mad reactions, I am dying with laughter.
— A priceless part where, immediately after Jimmy claims he’s not a sports guy and, thus, can’t answer the Jackie Robinson question, Bernie calls him out on the fact that he previously answered the whole section on the 1947 Brooklyn Dodgers.
— A great ending with Jimmy’s “I meant to say Tigger with a ‘t’” while Bernie is threateningly grabbing him by the collar.
STARS: ****½


HOT SAUCE CARRY PURSE
(host) & (MAR) salvage a bland party with Tabasco’s Hot Sauce Carry Purse

— What in the world was with Bernie’s odd, exaggerated, overacted delivery of “C’mon, dammiiiiiiit!”
— The look on Will’s face during his corny, bad dancing is hilarious (screencap below).

Man, even in just a small, bland role, Will has the great ability to steal a segment.
— Overall, this commercial did almost nothing for me. A poor execution of a weak premise based on a tired black stereotype.
STARS: *½


MOVIE THEATRE
The Pianist inspires moviegoers (host) & (TRM) to talk to the screen

— Bernie’s line about Moviefone not taking J.C. Penney cards was hilarious.
— During the viewing of The Pianist, I got a huge laugh from Tracy asking, among many questions regarding the movie, “Who the guy with the big nose?” (the soon-to-be horrible SNL host Adrien Brody).
— Oh, god. Now this is turning into a “black people yelling at the movie screen” sketch? Are you fucking kidding me? And just THREE EPISODES after SNL already did a “black people yelling at the movie screen” sketch (albeit an actual funny one)? AND just ONE SEGMENT after SNL already just did a lousy segment based on a tired black stereotype (black people love hot sauce)? Oh, do not get me started…
— A great cutaway to an old white guy from the Warsaw Ghetto giving the Black Power sign while having a deadpan look on his face.
— Why the hell does Bernie keep asking Tracy “Did he touch you?” at the end of every scene? Is that even supposed to be funny? It makes no sense and is getting NO laughs.
— A fairly weak ending.
— Overall, there were actually a few funny lines here and there, but damn, this was a VERY lazy sketch as a whole, and there’s no way in hell I’m giving anything close to a good rating for a weak execution of one of the hackiest comedy premises around (black people yelling at the movie screen).
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “The Anthem”


WEEKEND UPDATE
embedded reporter Gene Shalit (HOS) offers puns related to war in Iraq

half-sunburned Drunk Girl talks about her Spring Break experiences

country song of U-S-AMEN (WLF) & (CHP) urges boycott of anti-war celebs

— Congratulations, Tina, you finally went through a recent Update without having a terrible and cringeworthy first joke. It’s sad that this has become an amazing feat for her, but that just goes to show you how downhill she’s gone this season.
— The random Lionel Richie music video clip being presented as footage of citizens celebrating on the streets of Baghdad made me laugh.
— During Jimmy and Tina’s set up to a bit about SNL having their own on-site coverage of the war in Iraq, I honestly almost thought for one moment that they were setting up the return of the old One Man Mobile Uplink Unit bits that Al Franken used to do (and actually does eventually come back to do, in a Fey/Poehler Update two seasons later), but it turns out they’re just setting up an appearance from Horatio as fucking Gene Shalit. I cannot stand Horatio’s Shalit bits on Update.
— Okay, it turns out I actually got some chuckles early on from the puns in tonight’s Shalit commentary, but this eventually went off the rails by changing the focus halfway through to a long string of “shitting my pants” jokes.
— Two big nose jokes about Adrien Brody in the same episode? Lazy. Also, I just gotta say this: if only SNL was aware of the horror that awaits them when they soon get Brody to host.
— Oh, no, fucking Drunk Girl. Geez, between Gene Shalit and this, is tonight’s Update bringing out ALL of my least favorite Update correspondents of this era?
— I did at least get an initial chuckle from the visual of Drunk Girl’s half-suntan, but I’ve been silent for almost the entire remainder of the commentary.
— Jimmy and Tina’s “Who let the dogs out?” bit didn’t work for me.
— The raunchy punchline to Tina’s joke about Rosie O’Donnell’s marriage to her female partner (“The two celebrated by eating out”) was considered absolutely killer among SNL fans when this episode originally aired, but I cannot ignore the fact that Tina immediately ruined it by actually CHEERING HER OWN JOKE. I kid you not, folks. Goddammit, Tina. What the hell is happening to you this season?
— I love this pairing of Will and Parnell.
— Will’s southern voice is hilarious.
— A very funny song from Will and Parnell, on the ridiculous lengths they’ll go to boycott anybody and anything that’s anti-war. This continues the hot streak that Will has been on lately in having one killer piece on the show on a weekly basis, starting with the Queen Latifah episode. Unfortunately, that streak already ends in the very next episode, as Will doesn’t appear in any sketches AT ALL that night. For that matter, neither does Parnell. Geez, what happened? Did Will and Parnell both get boycotted for their Update commentary in tonight’s episode? (Lame joke, I know.)
— Funny climax to Will and Parnell’s song, with their lyrics having lots of missing letters that they refuse to use.
— Tonight’s weekly end-of-Update walk-on from SNL writer Eric Slovin has him dressed as a magician, placing Jimmy’s pencil into his own magician’s hat, and then pulling a rabbit out of that hat.
STARS: **½


THE THREE STOOGES 75TH ANNIVERSARY
fourth Stooge (host) beats up on Moe (CHP), Larry (CHK), Curly (JER)

— A Three Stooges sketch!!! If you know me, you know how onboard I am for this.
— Jimmy’s no Edward Norton when it comes to doing a dead-on Woody Harrelson impression.
— Funny visual of Bernie’s ridiculous smiling headshot with the other Stooges’ headshots in the title sequence for their short film.
— Yet another episode in which Darrell is stuck making his only appearance of the night in a semi-awkward non-impression role.
— Some decent Stooges impressions from Jeff, Parnell, and Kattan, though I feel Joe Piscopo, Tim Kazurinsky, and Gary Kroeger did better ones in a sketch from the season 9 finale.
— Bernie’s reaction to getting slapped by Moe was predictable, but is making me laugh.
— Did I just hear Bernie call Moe “super bowl haircut” instead of “sugar bowl haircut”? Why is he mispronouncing so many words throughout tonight’s episode?
— That was a nasty backwards fall Kattan took just now. Was it intentional for him to hit the back of his head on the bench? I get the bad feeling it wasn’t. The last thing he needs is another bad injury from a fall in a sketch, after what happened to him two years prior in that Golden Girls sketch.
— An awkward timing delay occurred at the end of the Stooges portion of this sketch, as Jeff was seemingly forced to vamp for time until the “The End” closing title screen appeared.
— Overall, this sketch was good, but not as strong as I wanted a Three Stooges sketch to be. Again, I prefer the one SNL did in the season 9 finale.
STARS: ***½


NO SMOKING
hoarse bar patrons (host) & (AMP) complain about NYC’s new no-smoking law

— Bernie’s raspy smoker’s voice has me in stitches.
— Ha, now Amy’s doing a fantastic raspy smoker’s voice of her own, along with a great scowl-y facial expression.
— Funny bitter line from Amy towards Michael Bloomberg: “You don’t like secondhand smoke because you’re a secondhand mayor.”
— Feels like Jimmy’s appearing in practically every single sketch tonight.
— Portions of this sketch are starting to feel pretty repetitive.
STARS: ***


SECOND TIME AROUND
Glenda Goodwin is vexed by ex-husband Barry (host)

— OH NO. I hated this sketch the first time it appeared earlier this season, and had completely forgotten that the second installment appears in tonight’s episode. Thankfully, this ends up being the final installment, though Glenda Goodwin will continue to make appearances in other sketches.
— At least we don’t have Matthew McConaughey here to make this sketch worse by giving a terrible, baffling performance like he did in the first installment.
— Very funny walk-on from Bernie.
— I love Rachel’s amused delivery of “Oh, Guh-lenda!” after Glenda Goodwin threatens to punch her in the face.
— Glenda Goodwin keeps using that comically odd pronunciation of Hyundai (“Hi-yun-die-yay”), but it NEVER makes me laugh. That godforsaken nasal, phlegmy-throated voice Maya uses as this character (and way too many other characters lately) is murder on my ears.
— After a surprisingly promising first half, this sketch has been dying a horrible death. I haven’t laughed a single time during this sketch’s second half.
— Why is Joan Petricelli always announced as the next guest in these sketches?
STARS: *½


SWIFFER SLEEPERS
— Oh, god. Not ANOTHER damn rerun of this insufferable commercial (originally aired on 10/12/02). I honestly die a little inside every time I view this dreck.


BRIEFING
Saddam Hussein’s (HOS) advisers sugarcoat news about war with USA

— There’s Jimmy in yet another sketch tonight.
— I got a laugh from how, after Fred’s opening panicky status report to Horatio’s Saddam, Horatio-as-Saddam’s only response is, in regards to Fred, “Who IS this guy?”
— Oh, geez, there goes Horatio breaking as usual for no apparent reason.
— This sketch is dead. Just a whole lot of talking, with no real funny dialogue. Jim Downey strikes again, I take it? “Just a whole lot of talking, with no real funny dialogue” describes an awful lot of political cold openings that Downey’s written for the show in the second half of this season.
— I got a minor chuckle from the airport bit during Kattan’s phone call.
— Boy, that ending was horrible. And does Horatio have to do a silly dance as EVERY character he plays now? He did it as Gene Shalit earlier tonight, and then did it at the end of this Saddam sketch. Hell, he (and Jimmy) even did it at one brief point in the great Brain Busters sketch earlier tonight.
— Lousy sketch overall. Geez, the last third of tonight’s episode is destroying me. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve laughed during the past few segments combined (including goddamn Swiffer Sleepers).
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Lifestyles Of The Rich & Famous”


DON BANKS’ KING OF “COMEDY” SUITS
black stand-ups prefer Don Banks’ (host) King of “Comedy” Suits

— I like the mention of the leather suits that Eddie Murphy wore, respectively, in his two stand-up movies, Delirious and Raw.
— A laugh from the Martin Lawrence undershorts “for when you go crazy”.
— This kinda reminds me of that Charles Barkley “Big, Tall, and Black Men’s Store” sketch from season 19, mainly in how it’s a little more charming than funny.
— Damn, this is Dean’s first appearance all night? A small walk-on in the final sketch of the episode? I normally wouldn’t be surprised at all by that, but you’d figure he’d get SOME meaty airtime in an episode with a black host, like he did in the Queen Latifah episode a month prior. Then again, Tracy also surprisingly made only one appearance tonight, in that Movie Theatre sketch that wasted his talents.
— I love the ending with Will entering in a pimp outfit while smiling like a goof. Will would later share a story about how, immediately after tonight’s episode ended, he and Seth went to an NBA game (or some other sports game) together, with Will still wearing his pimp outfit from this sketch.
STARS: **½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A weak episode. The first hour of this episode wasn’t too hot, with only a few good segments in a sea of both mediocrity and unfunny black stereotype humor (the latter being Hot Sauce Carry Purse and Movie Theatre). Then things got even worse in the last half-hour, where this episode really fell off a cliff. Bernie Mac was mostly fine as a host, despite some stumbles in his delivery. He deserved better material than a lot of what he got in this episode.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Salma Hayek)
a step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Ray Romano

Posted on

March 15, 2003 – Salma Hayek / Christina Aguilera (S28 E15)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PRESS CONFERENCE
George W. Bush (CHP) fields softball questions barely related to Iraq

— At least SNL is finally using Parnell’s President Bush impression in something other than a straight-to-camera address to the nation, especially given how terrible the last one was.
— A lot of funny examples we’re seeing of “tough” and “hard-hitting” journalists, such as one being from Pineapple Growers Trade Association Weekly.
— It doesn’t feel right seeing Rachel taking over Ana Gasteyer’s Helen Thomas impression.
— Funny how Bush’s men are doing away with Rachel’s Helen Thomas in various ways, including chloroform over the mouth and a dart to the neck.
— An overall pretty fun cold opening, and it shows that Parnell’s Bush impression can be somewhat entertaining when he’s given fun material and characters to play off of, instead of snooze-worthy “tell, don’t show” address-to-the-nation cold openings that have him as the only person.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
’80s band comprising male castmembers & Edward Norton [real] bugs host

— Some funny visuals of the cast dressed in cheesy 80s outfits.
— Not much to this monologue, but the 80s musical number constantly being performed is funny enough.
— Pretty nice to see an Edward Norton cameo, knowing in retrospect what a strong and underrated host he would be 10 years later.
STARS: ***


TOP O’ THE MORNING
Latina (host) & beau William toast St. Patrick’s Day

— A pretty good laugh from the viper on the jukebox who always plays “Crocodile Rock”.
— Darrell is coming off miscast and VERY awkward during his brief appearance. And once again, I’m sensing a very dour undertone that plagues a lot of Darrell’s performances from the second half of his SNL tenure. He looks like he does NOT want to be there.
— Salma’s angry, violent rampage at the end is decent, though she’s no Rachel Dratch when it comes to tiny, seemingly-delicate women tearing apart a set in a season 28 sketch.
— Overall, I continue to not care too much for these Top O’ The Morning sketches as a whole, despite some laughs here and there.
STARS: **½


TV FUNHOUSE
“Are You Hot?” by RBS- Lorenzo Lamas [real] assesses cartoon characters

— Oh, geez, remember this ridiculous, god-awful ABC reality show? Hard to believe something like that really existed.
— Funny concept of classic cartoon characters being who Lorenzo Lamas judges.
— I’m enjoying the fast pacing of this.
— A good laugh from Lamas telling Droopy, in regards to his jowls, “Man, you need to Botox the (*bleep*) out of those.”
— Some of these cartoon character inclusions are not quite as funny as others.
— I love Lamas saying “Now at least I understand why you have a hot wife” after seeing how big Barney Rubble’s “package” is.
STARS: ***½


VERSACE OSCAR FASHION PREVIEW
musical guest picks up a dress

— So far, some mildly funny things, but ehhh. I feel these Versace sketches have been starting to lose their luster these past two installments, even though I’m finding Maya’s portrayal of Versace to still be reliable for some laughs.
— These Versace sketches need to realize that the word “bitch” stops being funny when it’s thrown around so frequently in such a short time frame.
— Dean FINALLY gets to play Michael Jackson.
— Hmm. You know, I hate to say it, but from what I’m currently seeing, Dean’s MJ ain’t all that great. Dean is spot-on when doing the high-pitched MJ melodic shouts, but when he speaks normally in a tender lower voice, he sounds nothing like MJ. Nothing. The strange thing is, I recall Dean sounding very accurate when imitating MJ’s tender speaking voice in the Michael Jackson In A Tree sketch from earlier this season (in which Dean played one of three Michael Jackson alien clones). I now wonder if it only came off accurate in that sketch compared to the utterly baffling take on MJ that Amy was doing. But when you see Dean’s MJ impression on its own… yeah, it’s not living up to all the hype that this impression had among online SNL fans at the time.
— A huge laugh from the reveal of what Maya’s Versace is wearing under her dress (the last above screencap for this sketch).
STARS: **½


BOX
while stuck in a cardboard box, (WLF) confronts his cheating wife (host)

— Another delightfully oddball Will Forte piece. The premise alone is great, and the execution only makes it even better.
— Will’s attempts to get out of the box are very funny.
— Great visual of Will’s head sticking out of the box hole.
— I love Will’s sleazy “You know, uh… I’m naked in here” reveal to Salma, which puts her off right after they just had a tender moment together.
— I’m getting so many laughs from the ridiculous shoutfest between Will and Jimmy, with them constantly using the word “flip” in place of the f-word.
— Jimmy is giving a great supporting performance, and he’s hilarious going absolutely over the top when repeatedly punching the box with such fiery passion.
— Overall, another masterpiece of a Will Forte sketch, ONCE AGAIN this season. Does Will have the strongest first season that a featured player has ever had on SNL? I’d argue he does. He’s been averaging at least one fantastic, brilliant, absurdist piece on almost a weekly basis in this first season of his. No wonder SNL ends up bending the rules and promoting him to a repertory player after only one season instead of two.
STARS: *****


VOTE FRIDA
host badmouths Chicago while supporting Frida’s bid for Academy Awards

— Some laughs from Salma’s flimsy reasons to vote for Frida over Chicago.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Beautiful”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Jimmy & Tina Yelling At America- JIF & TIF think USA needs self-criticism

Fericito’s wife & comedy partner Lupe (host) says JIF & TIF should marry

punk wannabe Avril Lavigne (AMP) is mad for no particular reason

Gollum (CHK) is of two minds when it comes to making Oscar picks

JIF plays guitar & sings pop-inspired songs about St. Patrick’s Day

— At least Jimmy gets to deliver the opening joke tonight, after how horrible the Tina-delivered opening joke of the last few Updates were.
— Ugh, even with Jimmy doing the opening joke of tonight’s Update, the first joke that Tina does right afterwards has a lousy and hacky gay punchline, for no good reason.
— The whole “Jimmy and Tina Yelling at America” segment is great, and is the funniest that the struggling Tina has been on Update in quite a long time.
— I’m glad there’s been a lengthy gap between Fericito’s last appearance and tonight’s.
— Salma is a nice addiction as Fericito’s new comedy sidekick and wife.
— Amy’s skewering of Avril Lavigne is very over-the-top and exaggerated, but it’s definitely cracking me up.
— At occasional points during the Avril Lavigne commentary, Jimmy can be seen mouthing Amy’s lines.
— I probably already said this in a recent episode review, but I’ve been loving Jimmy’s newfound deadpan delivery of certain snarky jokes lately, like his great Wheat Thins joke tonight.
— Kattan’s Gollum impression is solid, making this yet another surprisingly good thing Kattan’s doing in the second half of this final season of his. He debuted this Gollum impression two months prior, in SNL’s “Weekend Update Halftime Special”.
— Yet ANOTHER Update feature tonight, with Jimmy doing his annual guitar songs routine. This is a jam-packed Update. Am I watching a Brian Doyle-Murray-anchored SNL Newsbreak from season 7? Well, no, because unlike SNL Newsbreak, tonight’s Weekend Update is actually funny. (And that’s saying something, given that it’s starting to become increasingly rarer for me to like Fallon/Fey Updates this season.)
— I like Jimmy’s imitation of John Mayer’s facial expressions when doing a St. Patrick’s Day-themed variation of “Your Body Is A Wonderland”.
— As I said previous times, I’m always a sucker for when Jimmy parodies a musical guest’s song just minutes after said musical guest performed that very song on the SNL stage, and we get a case of that here with Jimmy parodying Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful”. I love how, at one point during that parody, Jimmy even imitates Christina’s habit of singing occasional notes in a soulfully growly manner.
— Overall, this is one of Jimmy’s better guitar song medleys.
— Tonight’s weekly end-of-Update walk-on from SNL writer Eric Slovin has him entering in baggy, urban clothes, taking Jimmy’s pencil, and then standing in a cool arms-crossed pose while watching Jimmy’s ongoing rap parody of Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”.
STARS: ***½


SEDUCTION CLASS
(host) teaches seduction to Vasquez, Gabe (FRA), Ruth (RAD), A.J. (TRM)

— The first of a few sketches that use this group of characters in an adult education setting. Also interesting how one of the members of this group is the already-existing recurring character Vasquez Gomez-Vasquez.
— I remember when this originally aired, it took me until Fred started speaking that I realized that was Fred and not Kattan. Something about Fred’s wig along with his facial expressions as this character made him resemble Kattan to me from a distance.
— Even as just a supporting character, Vasquez is still not doing much for me.
— I love Rachel’s line about how she’s very sexually active, “but I’d like to share that with another person”.
— Fred’s Gabe character is absolutely hilarious, and he’s running away with this entire sketch.
STARS: ***


VOTE FRIDA
host suggests that, unlike Frida, Chicago has links to terrorism

— Salma’s desperate attempts to make the movie Chicago look bad are getting funnier, with her now linking Chicago with terrorism.
STARS: ***½


KING KONG
director’s cut of original King Kong movie has the ape getting a hand job

— The “Channel 5 Late Night Movie” framing of this sketch was also used in the Radioactive Bear sketch from earlier this season.
— I love Tracy’s delivery of “What the hell?!?” when King Kong’s erect penis has broken into Tracy’s living room through the window.
— Some good laughs from Salma and Tracy’s unintentional jerking-off of King Kong’s dong.
— Jimmy and Horatio are mostly playing it straight and aren’t hijacking this with their typical jackassery, but Jimmy still keeps occasionally smirking out of character at some of Horatio’s lines for no apparent reason, and they both occasionally make awkward pauses between their lines.
— A particularly hilarious part with Tracy looking out the window and mistaking King Kong’s testicles for two fuzzy bean bag chairs.
— SNL seems to be really struggling lately in finding ways to use Darrell. His only two appearances tonight both had him just making a very brief walk-on in a non-celebrity role (one of which he pulled off VERY awkwardly, as mentioned earlier in my review of the Top O’ The Morning sketch), even if he is well-cast in this King Kong sketch as the “Twas beauty killed the beast” guy from the real King Kong movie.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Fighter”


VOTE FRIDA
host interrupts Chicago rebuttal to plug Frida once more

— A laugh from this ad clarifying that Richard Gere is a Buddhist, not a rapist.
— The punchline at the end was funny enough, but I found this to be a bit of a step down from the direction these ads were going in.
STARS: ***


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A pretty consistent quality to this episode. Not much stood out as bad, not much stood out as great. An overall decent episode.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Queen Latifah)
a slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Bernie Mac

Posted on

March 8, 2003 – Queen Latifah / Ms. Dynamite (S28 E14)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

60 MINUTES
Bill Clinton (DAH) & Bob Dole (DAA) do a Point-Counterpoint about Iraq

— Good to see a Dan Aykroyd cameo, even if it always feels a little awkward seeing him play Bob Dole anytime after Norm Macdonald became SNL’s definitive Dole.
— An okay dry speech from Darrell’s Bill Clinton, if certainly long.
— There’s the obligatory classic “You ignorant slut” one-liner from Dan.
— Solid fast-paced delivery from Dan as usual during his very wordy and long Dole speech, but his speech isn’t featuring much to laugh out loud at. This is the kind of overly-wordy, “tell, don’t show” style that’s slowly been taking over these cold openings lately, much to my chagrin.
— An odd and somewhat rare occurrence of “Live from New York…” being delivered by an unseen voice-over while a still photo is shown of a logo. Not exactly an exciting way to kick off an episode, especially after a very dry, long-feeling, and occasionally dull cold opening like tonight’s.
STARS: **½


MONOLOGUE
Sir Mix-A-Lot (TRM) defends host’s kingdom from other royal rappers

— Funny reveal of Queen Latifah being an actual queen of a kingdom.
— That loud, stuffy British voice that Seth often relies on is kinda like nails on a chalkboard to me. It’s almost starting to get on the same level of the awful nasal, throaty voice that Maya uses when playing certain black roles.
— Very solid and fun execution of this premise, and there are so many funny little rap/royalty jokes all throughout this, such as the LL Cool J/ “Don’t call it a callback, he’s been here for years!” bit.
STARS: ****


106 & PARK TOP TEN LIVE
Baby K & his producer (host) perform infantile hip-hop

— OH FUCKING NO. The return of that god-awful Baby K character. At least his previous appearance, as horrible as it was, was just a very short Update commentary. Now he gets a FULL-FLEDGED SKETCH?!?! Oh, spare me, SNL.
— The gag in this sketch with Maya sounding very stilted and unconvincing when talking in street lingo is weak and tired.
— Ugh at that music video. And I remember an online SNL fan at this time complained that that music video felt very MADtv.
— Latifah’s performance is very good, but this sketch is brutally unfunny.
— A minor laugh from Dean happily saying “Me too” after Baby K admits he still has bathroom accidents sometimes.
— (*groan*) Another musical performance in this sketch?
STARS: *


LIVE WITH REGIS & KELLY
Frenchie Davis (host) sings

— Good to see this back.
— We get our very first instance in these sketches of Amy’s Kelly Ripa saying “I don’t know who that is, Reege. WHO IS THAT?!?!”, which would go on to be one of the most remembered aspects of these sketches.
— Good ad-lib from Darrell when Amy’s Ripa holds him particularly tight and rests her head on his shoulder: “Careful, or we’re both gonna get pregnant.” I enjoy the way Darrell and Amy always play off of each other in these sketches.
— A lot of really good lines from Latifah’s Frenchie Davis.
— Amy attempts to make Darrell crack up by climbing all over him, which eventually succeeds in getting Darrell to break, which is still a little rare to see by this point of Darrell’s tenure.
STARS: ****


WHO FARTED?
FOX reality show traps contestants in room with a gas passer

— Feels weird seeing Darrell with his normal look while being grouped with the rest of the cast in a sketch where they’re all playing nameless characters.
— A very juvenile premise, but it’s certainly coming off funny in this suspenseful reality show trailer. Much better than that awful and lazy fart sketch the show had recently done with Matthew McConaughey.
— Parnell’s always-great voice-over work is making this even funnier.
STARS: ***½


WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
’60s girl group sought a follow-up dance craze hit

— A huge technical issue is occurring in the studio right now, which not only causes the opening “Where Are They Now?” title sequence to have no music, but also forces Latifah, Maya, and Amy to do their first few musical numbers with absolutely NO background music. Wow. There’s some talk about this in one of the updated versions of the “Live From New York” SNL book, where either Maya or Amy discloses the fact that she and her fellow two performers were informed right before this sketch went on air that they would have to perform their songs without background music, due to audio problems going on.
— During the video packages detailing things about the girl group that Latifah, Maya, and Amy are playing, faint voices from inside SNL’s studio can unintentionally be heard in the background, including a woman’s voice repeatedly counting down. All of these audible voices are obviously related to the technical problems going on with the music. I wonder if the woman being heard constantly counting down is someone in the SNL Band.
— These musical performances feel odd and bare-bones without any background music.
— I’m a few minutes into this sketch, and if you haven’t noticed, I have yet to say anything about the actual content of the sketch itself. That’s because I haven’t been finding anything too funny or noteworthy about the content. All the technical issues of this sketch are more interesting to me than the material itself is.
— The background music has now finally kicked in, halfway through this sketch. I can’t remember if SNL would later replace the first half of this sketch with the dress rehearsal version in reruns, but I assume they do.
— Okay, this sketch is starting to pick up a little with Maya’s character descending into insanity.
— I like Latifah telling Amy “You was always more of a ho than me.”
— Funny reveal of Amy being the mother of Baby Jessica, the baby who fell down a well in the 80s.
STARS: **½


I’M A CELEBRITY… WHO FARTED?!
ABC reality show has famous flatulence

— While it’s very questionable they’re doing a SECOND one of these fart-based reality show promos, and I want to say SNL is pushing it, this is coming off pretty fun with all the celebrity impressions in place of the nameless contestants from the first Who Farted ad.
— Great to see Jimmy’s dead-on Gilbert Gottfried impression back, which is what Jimmy debuted on SNL with in his very first episode.
— Jeff’s Gary Busey is always a riot.
— Gary Busey, when denying it was him who farted: “Trust me, buddy, you’ll know when a Juicy Busey hits you between the eyes.”
— This was kept at a short-and-sweet length.
STARS: ***


WEEKEND UPDATE
Khalid Shaikh Mohammed (HOS) is upset by picture taken just after capture

fresh from his Grammy gig, Dustin Hoffman (JER) stammers kudos for NYC

Trevor The Broadway Guy (CHP) emotes regarding musicians’ strike

— Oh, god. It now seems to be a weekly thing on Update for Tina’s opening joke to be a horrible, cringeworthy joke in which she punctuates it with some kind of desperate, corny, and unfunny gesture or ad-lib. Then the camera cuts to a deadpan and straitlaced Jimmy, who proceeds to approach his jokes the RIGHT way. I said this in my last review, but it’s fucking surreal how Tina and Jimmy have gradually been switching personalities over the course of this season.
— A bad anti-Bush joke from Tina. That’s something that would soon go on to be ANOTHER annoying weekly thing from her: doing unfunny anti-Bush jokes that seem more focused on pushing her own political views than on getting the audience to laugh. I never liked Bush either, and even *I* recall finding this weekly habit of Tina’s to be annoying.
— Horatio’s Khalid Shaikh Mohammed commentary has some laughs, with his comparisons to who he looks like in his infamous photo, but portions of this feel awkwardly improvised and have too many silent pauses. Perhaps portions of this are improvised, given that when this episode would later be re-aired, the dress rehearsal version of this commentary would be used, in which some of the dialogue is very different and also seemingly improvised, and Horatio and Jimmy’s performances are much more loose. So loose that, at one point for a brief moment, Horatio jokingly slips in an “ova heah” bit, referencing that dreaded Aquarium Repairmen sketch from earlier this season.
— Jeff rebounds nicely after his awful Baby K bit from earlier tonight, with a fantastic and fun impression of how Dustin Hoffman acted at that year’s recent Grammys. Jeff even looks like him here.
— Parnell’s Trevor The Broadway Guy is at least a change from the roles that Parnell is usually typecast in, and it’s certainly nice seeing him get a front-and-center showcase, but unfortunately, I’m not finding myself laughing here.
— Much like the Khalid Shaikh Mohammed commentary, the Trevor The Broadway Guy commentary would later be replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns, which is longer than the live version. One of the things the dress version of the commentary has that the live version doesn’t is Parnell’s Trevor mentioning doing an off off off off off off-Broadway show (I can’t remember exactly how many “off”s he used, but it was a lot). I’m now wondering if Jeff’s Dustin Hoffman commentary was also replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns. If so, wow, SNL might as well have just shown the dress version of this ENTIRE Update in reruns.
— It’s become a running gag these past two Updates for Jimmy to do a joke about Vagina Auction, a non-existent(?) FOX reality show.
— Tonight’s weekly end-of-Update walk-on from SNL writer Eric Slovin has him dressed as Thomas Jefferson and using Jimmy’s pencil to sign the Declaration of Independence.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Dy-na-mi-tee”


GIVE UP THE HAM
(WLF) pleads for peace via song when (host) & (AMP) fight over a ham

— Oh, here comes a favorite of mine.
— When this sketch originally aired, I remember thinking Amy looked very Hillary Clinton-esque in that wig and dress, which is funny in retrospect, given that Amy would later start playing Hillary the following season.
— After Amy’s dignified and lengthy description of what she plans to do with the ham, I like Latifah’s simplified, ghetto version of her own plans for the ham: “I’m gonna take this ham home and I’mma eat it.”
— I love this sketch so much that I’ll refrain from ranting about the fact that this is Kattan’s SECOND drag role tonight, in addition to the fact that his only other appearance tonight besides those two drag roles was playing a flamboyant gay role (Gelman in the Live With Regis And Kelly sketch).
— The increasingly out-of-hand fight over the ham has a nice escalating absurdity to it, and I also like how Latifah and Amy’s respective friends are opposite versions of the same archetype.
— I love Will’s delivery of “Everybody just needs to cooooool out” when he walks on and takes the ham away from the fighting customers.
— There’s Will’s classic Give Up The Ham musical number, a legendary Forte moment, and a great example of how much he hit the ground running in his first season with his delightful oddball style.
— Great ending with Parnell stepping in front of the camera as a random spokesman and explaining the story behind this sketch, which includes the writer being drunk.
STARS: *****


TV FUNHOUSE
“X-Presidents” by RBS- SpongeBob SquarePants rejects cartoon jingoism

— I got a huge laugh from Reagan’s line, regarding Carter’s Nobel Prize: “They should call it the No-Balls Prize.” Reagan’s bitter one-liners in these cartoons never fail to kill me.
— Funny war propaganda cartoon clips of Bugs Bunny and Grape Ape, the former of which is based on an actual WWII Bugs Bunny cartoon (“Bugs Bunny Nips The Nips”).
— Nice to see that Spongebob Squarepants’ appearance here is being voiced by Tom Kenny, Spongebob’s real voice actor.
— Some laughs from the display of how inappropriate Spongebob would be for a modern-day war propaganda cartoon.
— Wow, after a Spongebob appearance, now we get a Powerpuff Girls appearance? Unfortunately, all of these famous cartoon character appearances aren’t turning out as epic as one might think. This cartoon is a little too average for my likes.
— No musical number at the end? Don’t these X-Presidents cartoons always end with one?
STARS: ***


PROFILES IN JAZZ
’20s singer’s (host) lyrics didn’t hide sexual content

— Great to see Darrell’s Jack Perkins impression back for the first time in years.
— “Joe The Plumber”? Well, that now sure brings up unintended memories of the future 2008 elections.
— Dammit, Maya’s doing that godforsaken nasal, throaty voice ONCE AGAIN. Her over-reliance on that voice lately is getting ridiculous.
— Some laughs from Latifah’s increasingly un-subtle sexual songs.
— Fred is hilarious and spot-on in his interview as a pretentious, unemployed jazz historian.
— Wow, two roles in one sketch for Tracy.
STARS: ***


DON’S APOTHECARY
overly-personal apothecary Don (HOS) drives business to Walgreens

— This is the first of two of these Don’s Apothecary sketches. I remember not caring for these at all when they originally aired, but Horatio would later give a backstory about this sketch during an interview, explaining that he when he came up with these sketches, he was attempting a slice-of-life, relatable feel, and based it on real-life childhood experiences from when the neighborhood he grew up in went through a change. Knowing that, I’ll hopefully have more of an appreciation for these sketches now that I’m revisiting these.
— I love Will’s inexplicably dignified, proud delivery when correcting Horatio by telling him “No, I have herpes.”
— A few minutes into this sketch, and, while I’m indeed enjoying the relatable feel that Horatio intended for these sketches, I’m still not finding this sketch all that great, and all the juvenile medical-related jokes aren’t doing much for me.
— Didn’t care for the Walgreens twist ending. It also reminded me too much of that “Gary’s Fish Tanks” twist ending from that dreaded Aquarium Repairmen sketch.
— I’m not 100% sure, but I think this sketch would later be replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns (seems to be a lot of that in this episode), which includes some differences in the last portion leading up to the Walgreens twist ending.
STARS: **½


MISTER ROGERS TRIBUTE
HOS sings “You Are Special” to mark the passing of Mister Rogers

— A nice change of pace with us getting a display of a more tender, emotional side of Horatio.
— A very sweet tribute to Mister Rogers after his passing.
— Great ending with the famous Mister Rogers trolley passing by at the end.
STARS: N/A (I’m never sure if any of SNL’s tribute pieces warrant a rating)


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A pretty average episode. There were a few strong things, including one of my favorite sketches of the season (Give Up The Ham), but quite a lot of the episode felt comprised of average material, as well as a few iffy things here and there. Queen Latifah was a pretty fun and reliable host as expected.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Christopher Walken)
a step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Salma Hayek

Posted on

February 22, 2003 – Christopher Walken / Foo Fighters (S28 E13)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

HARDBALL
French foreign minister (host) enjoys nettling USA over Iraq

— Nice to see that the reliability and popularity of these Hardball sketches has gotten to the point where SNL is now using them as a cold opening. This is especially needed at this point, considering how terrible a lot of cold openings have been in the second half of this season so far.
— Good to see Christopher Walken not only appearing right at top of the show, but in a Hardball sketch to boot.
— Darrell’s Chris Matthews almost slipped into Dennis Miller territory with his “I haven’t seen a group of people this crazy for blood since the Cobra Kai chased Daniel-San out of the Halloween dance in Karate Kid.” All he needed was a more obscure reference and either a “Cha-cha” or a “Ha-HAAAA!” at the end.
— Chris Matthews, to the French foreign minister: “That’s big talk from a country who’s only contributions to world culture in the last 50 years are Gerard Depardieu and that horny skunk!”
— Very funny reveal from Christopher’s French foreign minister that France is only being pro-war “just to be, how you say, douchebag.”
— A lot of Parnell’s lines in this have been forgettable (which is unusual, as he used to always get the funniest lines in Hardball sketches, before he got fired in 2001), but I did like his bit right now about attacking countries in alphabetical order.
— Christopher delivers his very first and, I think, only “Live from New York…”, which he, of course, does in his trademark slow and awkward style. We also get this epic creepy Walken stare into the camera immediately afterwards:

SNL would later replace this “Live from New York…” with the dress rehearsal version in reruns. I can’t remember if he does the creepy-looking camera staredown afterwards in that version or not.
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
host sings “Exactly Like You” & brings on some dancing girls

— Well-deserved extended applause for Christopher at the beginning.
— Wow, he dives right into his obligatory song-and-dance number this time, with no set up.
— Funny how he IMMEDIATELY goes into casually speaking to us as soon as his song-and-dance number abruptly stops.
— Just now, Christopher said “crazy mix-em-ups”, a variation of his legendary “crazy make-em-ups” line.
— Christopher’s backup dancers are being played by extras instead of the female cast this time?
— An overall short and intentionally simple monologue with a very careless, “Ehh, let’s get this over with” attitude, which is something that Christopher Walken is one of the few SNL hosts who can get away with making come off acceptable. At the same time, however, I wish this monologue weren’t so half-assed by the writers. Christopher deserved better than this, especially given the epic monologue from his last episode in season 26.
STARS: ***


PRANKSTERS
to (host), murder by tire iron is a hilarious practical joke

— Seth and Kattan are solid at selling the cheesy goofiness of this show.
— Just the mere idea of Christopher being a fan of such a juvenile show like this is hilarious in itself.
— An absolutely priceless turn with Christopher’s “prank” being him violently beating Parnell to death with a tire iron.
— Very funny how the show’s crew is inappropriately continuing to play goofy, cartoonish sound effects when Christopher is proudly bragging about his dark, deathly “prank”.
— I remember a lot of debate on SNL forums back in the day about Seth’s performance in this sketch being overrated. I never got why that was such a hot topic. Seth is fine in this sketch, and this is coming from someone who doesn’t care much for him.
— Christopher, on his hatred of stiffly stifflersons: “I wanna prank them for hours in my basement.”
— Overall, a classic. Remember a few seasons later when SNL inexplicably tries to re-create this classic sketch with fucking Robert DeNiro, of all people? Oh, I’ll definitely have things to say about THAT when we come to it.
STARS: *****


THE CONTINENTAL
The Continental pursues a spokesmodel for his line of beauty products

— This ends up being the final Continental sketch. As of 2020, Christopher has hosted only one additional time after tonight’s episode (which is unfathomable), and that episode breaks tradition by refraining from doing a Continental sketch. Even if Christopher ever makes a hosting comeback anytime in the future, they can probably never do a Continental sketch ever again, as the now-deceased Tom Davis wrote those sketches. (Davis was still alive and well in the final episode that Christopher hosted, which makes me wonder why they refrained from doing a Continental sketch that week.)
— A good laugh from The Continental presenting his female guest with a platter of “fancy” food that includes Ants on a Log and Combos.
— I love Continental calling the female guest his “Arctic hush puppy”.
— Great line with Continental apologizing for letting his “little head think for the big one”.
— Hilarious bit with the floor mirror.
STARS: ****½


RAFT CAPTAIN
after losing his ship, incompetent captain (host) leads liferaft to ruin

— So many laughs from all the things that Christopher is apologizing for. I even love his line about using the lifeboat flares to light his farts.
— Funny how Christopher considers it irrational for Seth to be angry at him for once trying to eat Seth.
— Christopher, during his apology for one wild thing he once did: “I’m out of cocaine now. That stuff’s not gonna happen again.”
— I absolutely love Christopher’s perfectly Walken-esque delivery of “There’s no stopping the BIRD ATTACKS NOW!”
— An awkwardly-written and awkwardly-staged ending that only worked because Christopher is the master at selling awkward.
STARS: ****½


AFRICAN-AMERICAN ARCHIVES
the first African-American to yell at a movie screen (TRM) is honored

— Dean gets a VERY rare lead role, doing a solid Don Cheadle impression. Dean actually previously starred as Cheadle in a fake ad in SNL’s “Weekend Update Halftime Special” from earlier this season (a special that served as NBC’s alternative to ABC’s Super Bowl halftime show while it was airing). In his limited airtime lately, Dean is proving himself to have a Jeff Richards-type knack for doing dead-on impressions of celebrities. I recall Dean having a website at this time that had audio clips of him doing great impressions, even including Homer Simpson.
— A pretty amusing spoof of the old cliche about black people yelling at the movie screen. While I find most comedy material on that subject to be one of the hackiest things ever (including an awful sketch that SNL itself will soon do just a few episodes later when Bernie Mac hosts), it’s working in this sketch because of 1) the incongruously straitlaced, professional way it’s being presented in this format, and 2) Dean’s solid dead-serious delivery when detailing the actions of the first black man to yell at a movie screen.
— Tracy makes his only “appearance” of the entire night here, and I use quotation marks because this technically doesn’t count as an actual appearance, since Tracy’s only shown in still photos. Him basically being absent in tonight’s episode is a bit surprising, given how much SNL has been relying on him this season, but we’re still seeing more of him tonight than we’ll see of Horatio. Not only is Horatio COMPLETELY absent in tonight’s episode, but it’s the second time that’s happened to him in just these past few episodes. Both times Horatio was absent, his lack of presence has barely even been noticeable nor has had any negative effect on the show, which proves how expendable he is.
STARS: ***


COLONEL ANGUS
after the Civil War, arrival of Colonel Angus (host) has oral sex subtext

— One of several dirty wordplay sketches from around these years, and in my opinion, one of the best. I believe this is a bit of a polarizing sketch among SNL fans (or at least it used to be, back in the day), but I’m definitely in the “love it” camp.
— All the innocent-but-suggestive-sounding lines about Colonel Angus are a riot.
— Oh, god, even in a very brief walk-on role, Maya has to do one of her dumb nasal, throaty voices, a standby of hers that’s really starting to annoy me by this point of her SNL tenure. It’s certainly not enough to ruin this sketch for me, especially considering how brief her appearance is and the fact that she only has one line, but that voice is a very unnecessary aspect of this sketch that briefly takes attention away from the dialogue itself, which is a shame, as the dialogue is what’s driving this sketch.
— I love Rachel greeting Colonel Angus by calling him “You old carpet-bagger”.
— A particularly funny line with Colonel Angus requesting to be tapped on the head if he overstays his welcome.
— This sketch is starting to have me in tears.
— Funny how Jeff is the only character in this entire sketch who catches all the dirty innuendo. His “Eww!” when walking off cracked me up.
— Random how this sketch ends with the performers bowing down towards the camera, as if this is a play.
STARS: *****


WEEKEND UPDATE
TIF shows Department Of Homeland Security’s alarming warning signs

Christina Aguilera (MAR) vocalizes her emotions regarding the Grammys

Steve Martin cameo

having quit showbiz, WIF now lives on a farm with Britney Spears [real]

— A very unnecessary, unfunny, and dumb ad-lib Tina made after her opening joke. Immediately after that, the camera cuts to Jimmy staring at the camera with a very deadpan look on his face and he wisely just goes on with the jokes, instead of indulging in Tina’s horrible ad-libbing and giggling. You know, it’s very odd what’s been gradually happening to Tina and Jimmy over the course of this season. It’s like they’ve been switching personalities, with Tina now being the goofball, unprofessional, giggly, weaker anchor who often does the lamer jokes, and Jimmy now being the professional, straitlaced, deadpan, superior anchor who often does the better jokes. What the hell is happening?
— The side segment with Tina showing placards of Homeland Security’s warning signs is a completely laughless waste of time. Tina continues to just get worse and worse as an Update anchor as this season progresses. Considering how strong her first two seasons at the Update desk were, it’s been sad to watch her go downhill.
— A spot-on and pretty funny Christina Aguilera impression from Maya.
— Jimmy translating Maya-as-Aguilera’s wordless musical vocalizations is reminiscent of the famous Bob Dylan bit that Dana Carvey once did on Update.
— Hell yeah! A Steve Martin walk-on out of freakin’ nowhere! I remember how incredible it felt to see this when watching this episode live, mainly because 1) this was Steve’s first SNL appearance in years, and 2) this was the very first time I got to see a Steve Martin appearance while watching an episode live.
— A great Steve Martin bit, with him detailing the step-by-step process of his intentionally simplistic, pointless cameo.
— Jimmy’s been getting some solid mean-spirited deadpan jokes lately, such as his Lara Flynn Boyle joke from a few episodes ago and his Eating Disorder Awareness Week joke tonight.
— The killer cameos in tonight’s Update keep on comin’, as we now get Will Ferrell! Awesome!
— It feels so odd but so nice to see Will appearing in an episode this season, after I’ve gotten so used to SNL without him over the course of this season. His appearance tonight is making me realize just how much I miss him in the cast.
— Yet ANOTHER killer cameo in tonight’s Update, with us now getting Britn– oh. Okay, so, yeah, to an SNL nerd like myself, this Britney Spears cameo is definitely nowhere near the level of a Steve Martin or Will Ferrell cameo. It’s decent enough, though.
— Funny part with Will and Britney admitting they’re horrible farmers and that “all our animals are sick”.
— Tonight’s weekly end-of-Update walk-on from SNL writer Eric Slovin has him dressed in a karate gi and proceeding to karate chop Jimmy’s pencil in half.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “All My Life”


CABIN LOVERS
(MAR) wants no part of Dr. Walter’s lusty exploits with Roger & Virginia

— The return of The Luvahs. I’ve developed a better appreciation of these characters when recently reviewing the seasons they regularly appeared in, but of all of the Will Ferrell characters and impressions that SNL could’ve brought back tonight, this isn’t near the top of my list.
— Christopher is reprising the character he played in the Luvahs sketch from the last episode he hosted, though the role of his lover is now played by Maya instead of the no-longer-on-the-show Ana Gasteyer.
— Christopher, on he and his lover’s lovemaking: “She made more expressions than Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura.” That line is even funnier in retrospect, knowing a certain additional and unplanned cameo we’re getting later tonight.
— Hilarious line from Christopher about a “circle yank”. Much like the last time he appeared in a Luvahs sketch, Christopher is getting a lot of the best lines.
— Christopher’s parting words, “I must chase after her… for she is my ride”, was hilarious when he said it the last time he appeared in a Luvahs sketch, but it felt unnecessary to repeat this time.
— Oh, god, speaking of unnecessary, there’s our obligatory and unfunny “Ow my back” ending that these Luvahs sketches always end with.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Times Like These (One-Way Motorway)”; Jim Carrey cameo

— As if we didn’t have enough amazing cameos tonight, we now get JIM FUCKING CARREY making an impromptu walk-on out of nowhere in the middle of Foo Fighters’ performance, playing his leg like a guitar! Absolutely incredible. This cameo, which reportedly was a VERY last-minute decision made on the fly by SNL (IIRC, Jim was in the audience for this episode) and was completely unexpected by Foo Fighters, has definitely got to be one of the most random, exciting, funniest, and best cameos in SNL history, and it’s one of those moments that makes you really appreciate the spontaneity of live TV.
— At the end of the performance, long after Jim Carrey has exited, Dave Grohl acknowledges Jim’s unexpected cameo by saying into the microphone “Thanks, Jim.”


THE RIALTO GRANDE
act of Buddy Mills & fellow lounge comic (host) has an air of pathos

— This sketch has officially become recurring.
— A hilarious corny walk-on from Christopher with his pants down.
— That “Haaaaaaaaa!” laugh that Kattan always does as this character never fails to slay me.
— Christopher: “Here’s a little tune I wrote when I heard it on the radio.”
— Even though they used this joke in the first installment of this sketch, I still got a great laugh from Fred’s delayed rimshot happening during a dark, emotional revelation of Christopher’s.
— Christopher: “The only thing Audrey left me with was her hysterectomy bill… and one of my nuts.”
STARS: ****


GOODNIGHTS

— Christopher Walken, Will Ferrell, Steve Martin, and Jim Carrey… ALL ON ONE STAGE TOGETHER. A truly incredible sight.
— Ha, now we get the Continental camera man appearing on stage in both a long blonde wig AND a dress. These goodnights are simply amazing.

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Another magnificent Christopher Walken episode, and the best episode of this shaky season so far. Not a single bad sketch to be found in this episode, and we got plenty of strong sketches, including two that I consider a classic (Pranksters, Colonel Angus), as well as one classic unplanned moment during Foo Fighters’ second musical performance.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jennifer Garner)
a step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Queen Latifah

Posted on

February 15, 2003 – Jennifer Garner / Beck (S28 E12)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
George W. Bush (CHP) doesn’t care if Iraq has weapons of mass destruction

— What the hell was with the random, delayed, very muted brief audience applause that started shortly after Parnell’s President Bush started his speech?
— A few mildly funny lines, but otherwise, this cold opening is a complete snoozefest. As a variation of something I said in an earlier review, it’s one thing to use understated, low-key humor, but it’s another thing to use humor so subtle and straight that you can’t find the joke. This cold opening is another early preview of how soft, meandering, and weak Jim Downey-written political cold openings will often be during Downey’s later years as an SNL writer.
— Parnell’s Bush impression has now reached the point where it’s become just a very bland, straightforward imitation, with Parnell not throwing in any comical quirks or anything to make the impression funny in itself (which it sure could’ve used in this particular cold opening, because lord knows the material itself ain’t funny).
STARS: *½


MONOLOGUE
host sings “My Funny Valentine” to the male castmembers wooing her

 

— I like how the entire male cast is appearing in this.
— Darrell as himself is coming off so awkward in this. By the way, this ends up being his ONLY appearance all night. The fact that, not only is this the second consecutive episode in which Darrell does practically nothing (his awful Colin Powell impression in the preceding episode was the only thing he did that night, and even there, he only had one line), but also that SNL couldn’t find ANY impressions or noteworthy roles for him tonight just shows how much his relevancy on SNL is slowly beginning to wane.
— Tracy in that cupid outfit is a hilarious visual.
— Some okay insults from Jennifer Garner to individual male cast members during her singing of “My Funny Valentine”.
— Tracy to Jennifer: “You make me feel like the Lion King!”
— Darrell looks kinda miserable while standing in the background of this monologue. That’s another sad thing about him that slowly starts around this time: a very dour undertone to a lot of his performances, and him rarely looking like he’s enjoying himself anymore.
STARS: ***


CLAPPIN’!
musical generates applause via nonstop on-stage hand slapping

— Another piece tonight that’s utilizing most of the cast.
— Hilarious premise for a Stomp parody, and this is being executed so well.
— Some very funny close-ups of some of the individual cast members, such as the one of Will clapping with a very intense look on his face, and the one of Fred’s dumb smile while demonstrating the clapping style of Japan.
— Horatio is hilarious during his testimonial.
— Odd how this ended with the studio audience not “clappin’” (pardon the lame pun). This commercial went into the next sketch with no audience applause at all. I wonder why that’s occasionally been happening this season (especially in the Sarah Michelle Gellar episode, an episode notorious for a brutally unresponsive audience). Is the audience choosing not to applaud during these instances, or is SNL just doing some kind of occasional experiment this season by choosing to not light the applause sign after certain sketches/commercials?
STARS: ****


LIGHTS OUT
(JIF)’s bar pick-up (host) morphs into homely (FRA) when the lights go up

— Very funny turn with Jimmy’s good-looking date turning very unattractive when the lights turn on. I love Jimmy’s yell of “GAH!” when seeing his now-unattractive date.
— The back-and-forth switching between Jennifer and Fred is being executed well.
— Just now, when expressing shock at seeing his date turn ugly again, Jimmy exclaims “God!” and “Damn!”, one after another, then kinda looks off-camera with what appears to be a genuinely awkward, worried look on his face, presumably because he knows saying “goddamn” on non-cable TV was taboo back in these days.
— Jimmy’s various attempts to get his date to look pretty again are all very funny, especially him taking a swig from a whole bunch of different drinks in rapid succession.
STARS: ****


WAKE UP WAKEFIELD!
at Valentine’s Day dance, (host) has crush on Sheldon

— Much like the installment of this sketch that took place at a slumber party, it’s nice to see Wake Up Wakefield using another new setting.
— We get the beginning of Maya’s Megan re-directing her usual love for Randy Goldman towards male celebrities, which goes on to be a regular part of these sketches from now on. Good to see they’re attempting some kind of development with the Megan character.
— Horatio’s teacher character imitating the backwards-speaking part of Missy Elliott’s “Work It” is quite funny.
— A pretty amusing and sweet turn with Jennifer’s character revealing her crush on Rachel’s Sheldon.
— Great part with Sheldon making an uncharacteristic bold move by kissing Jennifer’s character on the lips before exiting the dance.
STARS: ***½


SADDAM & OSAMA
Saddam Hussein (HOS) phones Osama bin Laden (JIF) to ask for some slack

— Jimmy as Osama Bin Laden seems like questionable casting at first, but I’m aware of where they’re going with this casting.
— I love Fred’s delivery of “Awkwaaaaarrrrrrrd!” and how it’s comically incongruous with the role he’s playing here.
— This sketch is much better than I had remembered. In past viewings, I, like probably like a lot of people, dismissed this as typical unfunny Fallon/Sanz self-indulgent jackassery, but right now, as I’m currently watching this sketch with much more of an open mind, I’m actually enjoying this and I find it has a goofy charm and amusing dialogue, and it’s made even funnier by the fact that these are evil dictators that Jimmy and Horatio are portraying in this silly way together. This sketch is a rare example of SNL actually utilizing the self-indulgent jackassery of the Fallon/Sanz duo the RIGHT way.
— I love Osama always following up Saddam’s remark of “Listen” with “I will listen, it’s a phone!”
— Even the occasional parts of this sketch where Jimmy and Horatio accidentally talk over each other has that aforementioned goofy charm that I like.
STARS: ***½


INVITATION TO LOVE
soap opera actress (host) attempts passionate scene with effeminate (CHK)

— Oh, god. Kattan playing his bazillionth tired, over-the-top gay stereotype role. Kattan has been slowly making some much-needed improvements in the second half of this season, but he’s relapsing BIG TIME in this sketch.
— Ugh, just as I feared early on, this sketch has been turning out to be nothing but a parade of bad, predictable, and hacky gay stereotype tropes.
— Horrible ending with Kattan’s voice being comically re-dubbed with a deep voice, reminiscent of that awful ending from the otherwise-great Fun Friend Club sketch from earlier this season.
STARS: *


TWINS
(CHK) is disappointed to be paired with (host)’s ugly Siamese twin (RAD)

— A funny variation of Rachel’s deformed baby character, who has become a reliable running gag on SNL.
— A huge laugh from Kattan’s unsuccessful attempt at trying to sit on the end of the couch that’s farthest away from the ugly Siamese twin.
— Great line from Kattan regarding the Siamese twins: “It looks like one of them had more time to cook than the other.”
— After relapsing badly in the preceding sketch, Kattan IMMEDIATELY redeems himself with this sketch. He’s giving a very solid performance here.
— A killer ending line from Rachel, directed to Jimmy while he’s making out with Jennifer’s character: “You can make out with her six ways till Sunday, but I’m the one with the vagina.”
STARS: ****½


WEEKEND UPDATE
rhyming Burt Bacharach (JER) doesn’t back an attack on Iraq

TRM’s advocacy of an all-out race war is preempted by NBC

CHP performs a rap about how he & host couple up for espionage & sex

— Jimmy’s opening joke kinda bombed.
— Ugh, more hacky gay humor tonight, with Tina’s horrible France/Germany joke.
— Boy, a lot of jokes in tonight’s Update are falling fairly flat with the audience (and me).
— When this episode originally aired, I remember an online SNL fan pointing out how Bush-like Jeff looked as Burt Bacharach, with the gray hair and squinty eyes, and that SNL fan speculated what it would be like if Jeff replaced Parnell as SNL’s Bush impersonator (which goes to show you that a lot of SNL fans at the time were NOT happy with Parnell’s impression and wanted a re-casting of that role), especially since it’s known what a strong impressionist Jeff is. It would soon be learned that Jeff really did have a Bush impression in his back pocket during these years, which he was seen doing in his stand-up gigs at comedy clubs, but unfortunately, SNL would never use that Bush impression of his. Who knows? If SNL had him instead of Darrell replace Parnell’s Bush the following season, Jeff perhaps wouldn’t have disappeared mysteriously at the midpoint of that season, whether he left or got fired. (I don’t think we’ll ever find out the TRUE circumstances behind Jeff’s odd mid-season disappearance.) Not to mention we would’ve been spared of suffering through Darrell’s embarrassing attempt at a Bush impression.
— The rhyming commentary from Jeff’s Burt Bacharach was… okay, I guess. I dunno, I’m left feeling that the commentary seemed a little pointless. It didn’t do all that much for me.
— The Burt Bacharach commentary would later be removed from NBC’s rerun of this episode, presumably because this episode reran shortly after the war in Iraq officially began, and SNL possibly felt it would be in poor taste to re-air this lighthearted Bacharach commentary with him protesting an American attack on Iraq. I believe this commentary would later be left intact in the syndicated 60-minute version of this episode shown on cable.
— Jimmy and Tina’s jokes have been getting a little better, after such a horrible start.
— A pretty good laugh from Tracy’s proposal of an all-out race war suddenly getting cut off by a “Please stand by” graphic.
— When the aforementioned “Please stand by” graphic ends, Tracy is shown yelling the end of a sentence: “–white people’s heads on spikes!” I recall SNL later using the dress rehearsal version of Tracy’s commentary in reruns, in which he says a different angry line after the “Please stand by” graphic ends, though I can’t remember what the different line is.
— Much like the last Update commentary that Tracy did as himself two episodes prior, tonight’s Tracy commentary kinda felt below par for his standards. I want Tracy to go back to doing his usual stand-up-type Update commentaries that have substance, instead of the more half-assed commentaries that he’s done these past two times.
— Tina’s raunchy “The chicken came first” punchline about a chicken/rooster honeymoon is one of her all-time best jokes.
— Ah, our third Parnell Update rap!
— Hmm, tonight’s Parnell rap is different, with him doing a slower, more R&B style. An interesting change of pace, but I definitely prefer his harder, faster raps from prior. Also, the lyrics of tonight’s Parnell rap are failing to provide any laughs.
— Tonight’s weekly end-of-Update walk-on from SNL writer Eric Slovin has him walking by the Update desk as a blind man holding out a cup, and Jimmy placing his own pencil into Slovin’s cup.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Lost Cause”


MICHAEL JACKSON IN A TREE
Elizabeth Taylor (RAD) gives counsel to Michael Jackson (AMP)

— Uh, wow. Quite a random setting and sketch.
— Even more random is the fact that Michael Jackson is being played by Amy, of all people. I remember some online SNL fans at the time, including myself, felt that this casting was a slap in the face to Dean, who was known to have an accurate Michael Jackson impression that he had been trying over and over to get on the air, but it would always end up getting cut after dress rehearsal. That being said, I now kinda understand the casting of Amy in this sketch, as her goofier, more childlike portrayal of Michael Jackson fits the tone of this silly, absurd piece more than Dean’s more realistic impression probably would’ve. But that ALSO being said, I’m not caring for Amy’s goofy MJ portrayal here. It’s not doing anything for me, and neither is this sketch itself. I’m not finding this sketch bad enough to call horrible or give a one-star rating to, as I kinda appreciate the insane, oddball nature that SNL’s going for in this, but the sketch has been just coming off very “whatever” to me.
— I will say that I am enjoying Rachel’s loopy portrayal of Elizabeth Taylor.
— I kinda like the detail of Jennifer using an Elvis voice and lip-twitch for her portrayal of Lisa Marie Presley.
— The audience is pretty dead throughout this sketch, as am I.
— Ah, we get to see Dean’s MJ impression after all, though he’s just playing one of three MJ alien clones. He at least gets a meaty amount of dialogue during his appearance here, though. Also, he looks absolutely unrecognizable under that makeup.
— Funny line about Elizabeth Taylor having a planet of her own.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Guess I’m Doin’ Fine”


WAL-MART SUPERCENTER
greeters (AMP) & (host) marvel at the vast geography of their Wal-Mart

— Some pretty good laughs from this sketch’s increasingly exaggerated treatment of the huge size of this Wal-Mart store. I especially like the bit about Wal-Mart having its own languages.
— I’m starting to get almost a Bill Brasky vibe from the oddball factoids that Jennifer and Amy are taking turns telling each other about this Wal-Mart.
— Interesting character voice from Fred in a very small role.
STARS: ***½


MY BIG THICK NOVEL BY JACK HANDEY
deadly germs are dead in chapter 490

— I believe this ends up being the final My Big Thick Novel to ever air on SNL.


GOODNIGHTS

— I like the Clappin’ callback that Beck and his band are doing with each other and with some of the cast members.

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A good episode. Not much to complain about, and the first half of this episode had a few standout strong segments. Lately, the quality of this season’s episodes seems to be following a good-bad-good-bad pattern. DeNiro: bad, Gore: great, Gordon: bad, Liotta: solid, McConaughey: horrible, Garner: good.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Matthew McConaughey)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Christopher Walken. I guess that aforementioned good-bad-good-bad pattern that this season’s episodes have been following lately finally gets broken.

Posted on

February 8, 2003 – Matthew McConaughey / The Dixie Chicks (S28 E11)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

U.N. SECURITY COUNCIL
United Nations delegates ignore Colin Powell (DAH) & plan to abuse power

— There’s something wrong with the top of the screen (you can see it in the above screencaps for this cold opening, and in the screencaps of the following monologue). This isn’t a local affiliate issue; this apparently happened on ALL the affiliates that this episode originally aired on, which shows that the problem must’ve been from SNL’s end. This technical issue persists until the first commercial break of the show, which is right after the monologue.
— WTF? Darrell as Colin Powell? I know the man has played Jesse Jackson on the show many times before, but come the hell on! Besides, didn’t Dean play Colin Powell once in the preceding season, without even having any lines? So why would SNL yank the role away from him and give it to Darrell, who’s completely half-assing it? And since when does Colin Powell talk out of the corner of his mouth? That’s what Darrell’s doing here, for God knows what reason.
— Oh, god, another damn translator cold opening this season. Spare me.
— Geez, even during his serious speech here, Jimmy looked like he was about to bust out laughing during one part, after the gesture he does when his voice-over translator says “So unnecessary.”
— I find this premise lame, with the delegates having a deep, extensive discussion about trivial things like where they’re going for lunch. This is the type of soft, weak Jim Downey-written political humor that would dominate Downey’s later years as an SNL writer.
— I am now FOUR MINUTES into this damn cold opening, and I haven’t laughed a single time.
— Okay, I got a minor chuckle just now from the joke that Fred’s Chile delegate character plays on the other delegates.
— This cold opening is going on forever.
— Dean had a somewhat funny line just now, which is rare for him. I still don’t understand why he couldn’t play Colin Powell in this cold opening, though. Tracy (who’s one of the very few cast members who doesn’t appear in this cold opening) could’ve easily played the Cameroon delegate that Dean’s playing here.
— Darrell-as-Powell’s zoned-out facial expression when the camera cuts back to him at the end perfectly mirrors my facial expression during most of this cold opening (screencap below).

STARS: *½


MONOLOGUE
host finds an excuse to return to his marijuana-hazed dressing room

— Very energetic, bouncy entrance from Matthew McConaughey at the beginning.
— Matthew’s story had a VERY long, dead-serious, audience-quieting set-up to a mildly funny “Jesus Christ walked everywhere too” punchline. Actually, the punchline wasn’t bad, and I would appreciate it elsewhere, but this long, serious story felt kinda out of place in an SNL monologue. Matthew seems to have a thing for taking the time in his monologues to tell a very long-winded, audience-quieting story that leads to a punchline, as he would later do the same thing in his monologue from season 41, and from what I remember, the punchline to that story was just plain weak.
— A laugh from Kattan being heard telling an SNL intern “I totally agree, Mango should be a movie” when Matthew is rushing backstage towards his dressing room.
— The pot smoke-filled dressing room is funny and reminds me of Eric Idle’s season 4 monologue.
— Great line from a stoned Amy, when pretending to snap a photo: “I just took a Amy Poehler-oid with my mind!”
— Some good laughs from Matthew being heard taking a hit from his bong behind his dressing room door, and Tracy being heard advising him the right way to inhale through it.
— When Matthew blew out some pot smoke from his mouth when returning to the home base stage, his face oddly looked JUST LIKE Woody Harrelson (which is fitting, I guess, as Harrelson’s another person who’s known for his love of weed). Actually, I guess Matthew and Woody kinda facially resemble each other in general. I remember I used to think so when they were both younger.
— Overall, this monologue was a tale of two halves. The very iffy first half where Matthew told the long story should’ve been scrapped, and they should’ve just focused on the superior second half where Matthew went backstage.
STARS: ***


BLIND DATE
on a blind date, (host) errs by wildly misguessing (RAD)’s age & weight

— There’s an infamous behind-the-scenes story about this sketch: during a rehearsal earlier in the week, as Matthew was doing the portion of this sketch where he tries to guess Rachel’s age, he ad-libbed by randomly feeling up Rachel’s breasts while trying to figure out her age, an ad-lib that Rachel was speechlessly taken aback by. (Maybe Matthew saw that Fun Friend Club sketch that Rachel did in the last episode.) Rachel would disclose this incident during a Late Night With Conan O’Brien interview later that year, and would even show footage of the incident. When disclosing the incident, Rachel seemed to have a sense of humor about it, much more so than I’m sure most actresses would. After all, that move of Matthew’s is the kind of thing that could get his ass MeToo-ed nowadays (assuming he hasn’t gotten MeToo-ed by someone already).
— I like the random non-sequitur with the following exchange between Rachel and Matthew: “So you went to Morehouse College?” “No, that’s a black college. I went to Grambling.”
— After the aforementioned behind-the-scenes incident with Matthew feeling up Rachel’s breasts was made public, I remember an online SNL fan pointing out that Rachel noticeably kept taking a sip from her drink for an unusually large amount of times all throughout this sketch, and that SNL fan had a theory that Rachel constantly grabbing her drink was her nervous way of trying to prevent Matthew from potentially reaching over and feeling up her breasts on live TV. Being aware of that, I now feel kinda tense watching her throughout this sketch, knowing she had those worries. Poor Rachel.
— Matthew’s bad age-guessing thing didn’t do much for me, but I did get a laugh just now when he told Rachel that he wants to guess her weight, even though I know where this is going.
— I got a cheap laugh from Matthew’s bad drawing of Rachel, but otherwise, I have not been caring for the direction of this whole sketch. The humor is too simplistic and cliched for my likes.
— One positive thing I’ll say is that Rachel is a solid straight man here, and I’m enjoying all of her reactions.
— What the hell was with that punchline at the end? Very weak.
STARS: **


NUTRI-QUICK
Rerun from 10/5/02


JARRET’S ROOM
33 year-old sophomore David Wooderson (host) likes college

— My god, this sketch again, for the THIRD time in these past SIX EPISODES?!? This recurring sketch is nowhere near good enough to keep bringing back so frequently in such a small time frame. I don’t think even Wayne’s World appeared THAT frequently back in the day, and Jarret’s Room isn’t fit to lick Wayne’s World’s boots.
— Boy, this was Gobi’s weakest comical entrance in a Jarret’s Room sketch yet. The writers aren’t even trying anymore.
— Interesting having Matthew reprise his Dazed And Confused character.
— Jeff’s character makes his first appearance in a Jarret’s Room sketch in quite a long time. I had been wondering why they’ve been keeping him out of the last few installments of this sketch.
— The Valentine’s video of Jeff is pretty funny.
— So after the well-liked Phish installment of this sketch, are musical guests going to appear in this sketch EVERY time now? Because I gotta say, The Dixie Chicks certainly aren’t giving this sketch the fun boost that Phish did.
— At the end of this sketch, why did the exit music abruptly stop during the shot of the computer desktop? Was that a technical gaffe?
— An overall weak Jarret’s Room installment that not even Wooderson could save. Boy, aside from the second half of the monologue, I have NOT been enjoying tonight’s episode so far.
STARS: **


PROTEST
at an anti-war rally, speaker (host) can’t keep the crowd on-message

— I love Tracy exclaiming “You know they use hemp to make rope?”
— A lot of laughs from the bad protesting from the crowd, and how their protests are getting increasingly absurd and convoluted.
— Jesus Christ, Matthew is overacting terribly when he’s expressing frustration at the protesters.
— Parnell: “Legalize porn!” Matthew: “Sir, it is legal, okay?” Parnell: “(deadpan) Not the kind *I* like.”
— Solid sketch overall, and the first non-monologue segment of tonight’s episode that I actually enjoyed. If only this sketch had a better straight man, though. Matthew’s straight man performance was not working for me.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Travelin’ Soldier”


WEEKEND UPDATE
photos show the past, present, future of Michael Jackson’s face

Joseph Jackson (TRM) criticizes his son Michael’s parenting skills

Patrick (WLF) & Gunther (FRA) Kelly explain tax code changes with a song

— For obvious reasons, it feels kinda odd and sad in retrospect when Tina shows a photo of what Michael Jackson will look like 10 years from now (a photo of a sock puppet), considering he would end up not living long enough to see 10 years from now.
— I like Jimmy’s very deadpan delivery during his uncharacteristically mean-spirited Lara Flynn Boyle joke. Too bad Tina had to almost ruin it with her awful loud guffawing in response to it, which is something she’s developed a VERY annoying habit of doing lately whenever Jimmy does a really clever joke.
— I got a laugh from Tracy’s Joseph Jackson saying his son Michael’s recent interview was “re-duc-a-luss!”
— A funny story from Tracy’s Joseph Jackson about getting scared by Latoya and Michael.
— Jimmy’s video game/phone bit is solid.
— SNL’s using their writers in quite a lot of photo jokes tonight, such as Paula Pell (the sixth-to-last above screencap for this Weekend Update, though I’m not sure I recognize the man with her in the photo) and T. Sean Shannon (the fifth-to-last above screencap for this Update).
— Ah, the debut of Will and Fred’s Kelly Brothers characters. And I absolutely LOVE this pairing of Will and Fred, the two new guys this season. This pairing reminds me of how much of a champion of Will and Fred I was when this season originally aired. They both had such a strong first year (Will in particular) and instantly became who I considered to be two of the more reliable players in an increasingly worrisome period of SNL.
— Will’s insanely high-pitched singing is surprising and hilarious.
— Will and Fred’s overall lyric-less “informative” song was very funny, as well as the perfect length. Short and sweet.
— Tonight’s weekly end-of-Update walk-on from SNL writer Eric Slovin has him dressed as a waiter and taking away Jimmy’s pencil in a restaurant menu.
STARS: ***


CLUB TRAXX
Euroteens love America’s music but hate its foreign policy

— The debut of what I recall being a very weak short-lived recurring sketch.
— Holy hell at Matthew’s bizarre look and even more bizarre voice.
— Boy, the bizarre voice that Mathew’s using is getting old FAST. And this sketch in general is not working. It kinda feels to me like an unfunny, pop music-themed variation of SNL’s Sprockets sketches.
— I kinda laughed at Maya’s foreign-accented delivery of “You’re like a black man from the ghet-to”.
— I’m sick and tired of Fred’s character constantly breaking out into song here. It’s very rare for me to have something negative to say about Fred this early into his tenure, but it’s something that will probably become all too common in my reviews of Fred’s latter years on the show.
— Overall, oof. And to think, I have a few more installments of this sketch to sit through in later episodes.
STARS: *½


STORIES
(CHK) pays the price whenever co-worker (host) uses him to tell a story

— What the holy fuck happened at the beginning? When this sketch opens on an exterior shot of an office building, a very loud off-camera exclamation of “AGH!” can be heard from Matthew, then when the screen crossfades to a shot of both him and Horatio, they’re both sitting silently for an oddly long while, then Matthew mumbles some unintelligible word while Horatio giggles out loud (I can’t tell if that giggling is real or just in character), then Matthew begins sniffing and awkwardly clearing his throat for a few seconds, then after more odd silence, he FINALLY starts delivering his lines. What… the… hell?!? Was Matthew doing a little… uh, snorting backstage before arriving on set for this sketch, if you catch my drift? Actually, a theory that I’ve always had on what the hell happened here is that Matthew let out an unintentional sneeze during the opening exterior shot of the office building, which would explain that off-camera “AGH!” sound from him and why he was seen constantly sniffing and clearing his throat for a few seconds afterwards, but that still doesn’t explain why, after the camera first showed him and Horatio, he awkwardly paused SO DAMN LONG before delivering his first line.
— I laughed out loud at Tracy’s disgusted delivery of “Troy!” when he enters the sketch and immediately gets the wrong impression about Kattan’s Troy character. And there’s something inherently funny about Tracy being cast as an office boss.
— It’s now a few minutes later, and, aside from Tracy’s aforementioned line, I haven’t gotten a single laugh from this sketch.
— I could do without Kattan’s annoying overacting when repeatedly shouting “NO!”
— I finally got my second and final laugh of this sketch, when Tracy immediately exclaimed “Troy, you’re fired!” when he walked in on Kattan’s Troy having his pants down. If it wasn’t for Tracy and his reliable delivery, this sketch would be a 100% bonafide dud. Hell, I had more fun analyzing Matthew’s bizarre unscripted actions at the beginning of this sketch (i.e. his yell of “AGH!”, his sniffing, his throat-clearing, his absurdly long pause before finally speaking) than I’ve been having analyzing the actual content of this sketch.
STARS: *½


SECOND TIME AROUND
Glenda Goodwin welcomes pyramid power advocate (host)

— OH. NO. My misery during tonight’s episode continues, as I’ve always despised these Second Time Around sketches, which makes its debut here.
— I do not like that nasal, throaty voice Maya is using for her Glenda Goodwin character in tonight’s sketch. The voice Maya previously used for Glenda Goodwin in the Attorney-At-Law sketch earlier this season was far more tolerable to me, as the nasal-ness and throaty-ness of her voice was more understated there.
— I got one laugh during this boring sketch so far, from Glenda Goodwin referring to the act of laying around while wearing a t-shirt and no bottoms as “Porky Piggin’ it”.
— Why does Matthew keep speaking off-camera right now while Maya and Rachel are trying to deliver their lines? Man, Matthew has been bothering me more and more as tonight’s episode has progressed. He started out decently earlier in the show, but somewhere around the Protest sketch, he’s gotten increasingly annoying and bizarre with each passing sketch.
— I just realized (probably because I’m bored as hell while watching this sketch) that this is the second recurring talk show sketch with Maya as the host and Rachel as her co-host, after the Wake Up Wakefield sketches.
— Maya’s Glenda Goodwin actually has a few amusing absurd lines throughout this sketch, but I just can’t get past that horrible nasal, throaty voice. It’s killing any humor in her dialogue.
— When wrapping up this sketch at the end, Glenda Goodwin says her next guest will be Joan Petricelli. That’s the same name of the character that Nia Vardalos played in the aforementioned Attorney-At-Law sketch that Glenda Goodwin debuted in.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Sin Wagon”


MCCONAUGHEY’S RED HOT TEXAS CHILI
host’s product is first in farts

— (*sigh*)
— I could just leave my above sigh as my only comment for this entire sketch, as it sums this sketch up perfectly, but I guess I should say SOMETHING here. As if tonight’s episode hasn’t been unbearable enough, now SNL is scraping the bottom of the barrel, using goofy fart sound effects during Matthew’s chili plug. There have been some times where SNL actually pulled off a fart sketch well (e.g. the Kevin Kline Italian actor sketch), but this sure as hell ain’t one of them. This sketch is something a kid would write when bored during class.
— Nothing else to say about this, except please end tonight’s show already, SNL. I can’t take any more bad sketches.
STARS: *


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Terrible episode. I enjoyed very little in this. The post-Weekend Update half in particular was absolutely HORRIBLE, with not a single sketch receiving a rating over one-and-a-half stars. I was made increasingly miserable while watching this episode. If you take away Weekend Update, the second half of the monologue, and the Protest sketch (and even the latter was almost ruined by Matthew McConaughey’s bad overacting), you have an episode that’s pretty much unwatchable. I’ve seen some SNL fans over the years use this episode as a prime example of this season’s poor quality, and I’ve also seen some SNL fans even say this feels like an episode from season 20. I’m not sure I disagree with either of those points.

Oh, and just one more time, here’s my face after sitting through this episode:


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Ray Liotta)
a big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Jennifer Garner

Posted on

January 18, 2003 – Ray Liotta / The Donnas (S28 E10)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PRESS CONFERENCE
Donald Rumsfeld (DAH) says “These Boots Are Made For Walkin'” over Iraq

— I almost thought that was the no-longer-on-the-show Ana Gasteyer doing the opening voice-over.
— Some laughs from Darrell’s Donald Rumsfeld gradually breaking into a speak-singing of “These Boots Are Made For Walkin’” during his answers to the press’s questions.
— A decent musical number at the end, but not comedic.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
when host is “Getting To Know You,” expect a mix of amicability & menace

— I’m enjoying the subtly unsettling psychotic aspect of Ray Liotta’s cheery attitude.
— A funny visual of Tracy and Kattan quickly bolting away when Ray goes over to greet them.
— Fun part with Ray going up to the audience in the balcony seats.
— I love the tense turn with Ray sternly telling one audience member (SNL writer Leo Allen) not to interrupt his friendly exchange with another audience member (SNL writer Emily Spivey).
STARS: ***½


LIVE WITH REGIS & KELLY
Regis Philbin (DAH) and Kelly Ripa (AMP)’s rapport is poor; David Caruso (host)

— Our very first of several Regis & Kelly sketches with Darrell and Amy.
— At the beginning, you can unintentionally see the device that the fake snow in the background window is coming from.
— The way Amy and Darrell play off of each other as Regis and Kelly is fun. It’s also nice to see a rare display of Darrell having strong chemistry with one of the newer people in the cast.
— Oh, god, and here’s my least favorite aspect of these Regis & Kelly sketches: a stereotypically gay Gelman, played by, who else? KATTAN.
— Some pretty good laughs during the interview with Ray as David Caruso.
STARS: ***½


THE FUN FRIEND CLUB
onset of puberty has made chesty (RAD) unsuitable for cast of kids show

— A wild premise, and there are so many laughs from Rachel’s innocent, jolly child character’s incongruously big chest bouncing up and down during the dance sequences. Ray also has a good freaked-out reaction at one point, angrily saying “It’s like Girls Gone Wild over here!”
— Rachel’s playing her character’s innocent cluelessness really well. There’s been quite a number of strong Rachel Dratch-starring sketches this season, and this is yet another one.
— A horrible ending to an otherwise very strong sketch.
STARS: ****½


THE FALCONER
Donald attends a frat party while The Falconer is trapped under a log

— This great sketch has officially become recurring.
— I’m surprised to see that tonight’s Falconer installment is still using the original, longer version of the opening title sequence, as I thought it was only used in the first installment of this sketch. As I pointed out in my review of the first installment, the rerun version that I reviewed of that installment replaces the original, longer opening title sequence with the truncated version that’s used in most of the subsequent installments. And as I also pointed out in my review of the first installment, the voice-over in the original, longer opening title sequence doesn’t say at one point, in regards to Will’s Ken Mortimer character, “Then, for reasons known only to him, he left his wife and career, and moved deep into the forest”, and it instead goes into a bit of detail of why he left his wife and career, which includes a photo of  him looking into a mysterious package at home (screencap below).

— I love Will-as-The-Falconer’s scream of “MY LIFE HANGS IN THE BALAAAAANCE!”
— Funny montage of Donald the Falcon partying with wild sorority girls.
— Odd seeing Rachel flashing her breasts (censored, of course), given the sketch that preceded this.
— I love Donald the Falcon suggesting that The Falconer, who is trapped under a log, cut his leg off with the saw that Donald had just given him.
STARS: ****½


STRAIGHT TALK
Global Century Investments representative (CHP) is upfront about deceit

— Hilarious how Parnell is flat-out admitting crooked things about himself and his company, in a very professional, affable manner. Parnell is so perfect for this.
— I absolutely love the tone and humor of this smart piece. Very much a quintessential example of Jim Downey’s wit as a writer.
— Very funny speech from Amy casually admitting to Parnell that she originally came here to kill him, but has become impressed by his straight talk.
— A solid back-and-forth between Parnell and Jimmy at the end.
— This great pre-taped piece ends up being Parnell’s only appearance all night. He makes no live appearances at all in this episode.
STARS: ****½


HANNIBAL
Hannibal Lecter (DAH) & Paul (host) open an eat-your-own-brain restaurant

— Darrell has surprisingly been getting a lot of great airtime tonight. A huge turnaround from how little he appeared in the last few episodes.
— Ray’s forehead/brain make-up looks eerily convincing.
— A solid and committed performance from Ray as he’s expressing how much he loves the taste of his own brain.
— Interesting how this has suddenly turned into an Access Hollywood spoof, kinda giving this sketch an epic, movie-like feel that’s reminiscent of some of SNL’s long, epic sketches from seasons 4 and 5.
— Odd, though, how this is the second episode in a row to have an Access Hollywood spoof, and SNL even shows some continuity with that by having Jimmy’s Pat O’Brien do a follow-up to his “I don’t breathe through my nose ever” opening line from the last episode.
— Dean’s Wayne Brady impression is very spot-on and funny. This reminds me that SNL kept attempting to get a sketch on the air around this time, spoofing Wayne Brady’s talk show, but it never made it past dress rehearsal.
STARS: ***


WEEKEND UPDATE
if elected president, Tim Calhoun will champion some peculiar policies

for his own sake, TRM asks Condoleezza Rice to defend affirmative action

Weekend Update Joke Off- JIF & TIF riff on concept of a naked airline

— Jimmy’s AOL joke, in which he just says “Welcome. You got fired” while a photo of a particular man in shown, hasn’t aged well at all, because, even though I certainly get the “Welcome. You’ve got mail” soundbyte reference, I have no memory of who the man in the photo is (the second above screencap for this Weekend Update), nor what topical story this is referencing.
— Tina sure ruined her Madonna joke by badly flubbing it, but she saved herself with a good ad-lib.
— Our second instance tonight of a Will Forte character officially becoming recurring: Tim Calhoun. Man, Will is on fire tonight.
— Tim Calhoun: “I propose a little more California, and a little less Mexico.”
— Tim Calhoun: “Horsey sex is bad. I wanna make a law against that. Horseys are for riding.”
— Tim Calhoun: “Blind people think they’re sooo cool.”
— Believe it or not, tonight’s overall Tim Calhoun commentary was the first guest commentary that I’ve liked on Update since the first Tim Calhoun commentary from all the way back in the THIRD EPISODE OF THIS SEASON. I kid you not, folks. SNL really did go THAT long without a single good guest commentary on Update (in my opinion, at least), which just goes to show you what a huge step down Update has taken in quality this season.
— Quite a number of bad jokes from Tina tonight.
— Tracy’s outfit is hilarious.
— Tracy points out how he isn’t in any actual sketches this week, which is true (this Update commentary and his brief non-speaking appearance in the monologue are the only things he does tonight). The fact that Tracy is treating his exclusion from sketches tonight as a rare thing and, at one point here, even calls himself “The star of the show”, just shows you how far he’s come along in airtime this season, as him being excluded from sketches used to be all too common in his earlier seasons. By the way, there seems to be quite a number of cast members tonight with little-to-nothing to do: Tracy’s not in any actual sketches, Parnell’s only appearance was in a pre-taped commercial (as I pointed out earlier), and both Jeff and Horatio are completely absent in this entire episode (I’d like to think the latter was shut out of tonight’s show as punishment for his and Jimmy’s Aquarium Repairmen debacle from the last episode, but I know that’s not the case).
— A good laugh from Tracy breaking into a tender singing of “Remember The Time” when directing a loving message towards Condoleezza Rice.
— Tracy’s overall commentary certainly made me laugh, but I dunno, something about it felt below par for his standards. He seemed to be kinda coasting, and this commentary had the feel of SNL just throwing Tracy out there just for the sake of giving him something to do tonight.
— After Tina screwed up a joke earlier tonight and then saved herself with a good ad-lib, Jimmy himself flubs a joke just now, but tries way too hard in his attempt to save himself with an ad-lib.
— Ah, the return of the fun Weekend Update Joke Off segment, this time about an airline containing naked passengers.
— Tonight’s weekly end-of-Update walk-on from SNL writer Eric Slovin has him dressed as a burglar and stealing Jimmy’s pencil right out of his hand. I’m loving this new random running gag at the end of every Update.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Take It Off”


THE HANGMAN
to The Hangman (host), frontier justice requires sex with a grandma (RAD)

— Will’s big night continues, as he now appears in yet ANOTHER big role. Great to see things coming along so well for him so early into his SNL tenure.
— Funny how Rachel has played an adolescent girl and now a very elderly lady in the same episode. That’s nice range.
— A good laugh from Ray revealing he wants to work out a deal where he gets to have sex with Will’s grandmother.
— Amy being way too willing to sleep with Ray AND his buddies without even being asked is very funny.
— Great mock-dramatic delivery from Amy of the line “I am not gonna ask my grandma to bone The Hangman!”
STARS: ***½


TOP O’ THE MORNING
Gangs Of New York fires passions of Patrick & William

— This has officially become recurring. Unlike the Forte stuff that’s become recurring tonight, I’m not excited at all about the return of this Mike Myers pastiche.
— A laugh from Jimmy and Seth advertising Jamison’s Irish Whiskey as medicine.
— Good meta part with Jimmy and Seth looking at each other with guilty facial expressions after Jimmy’s character angrily asks, when complaining about the unconvincing Irish accents in the then-new movie Gangs Of New York, “Who wants to see a bunch of Americans do their best impression of Lucky Charms guy?”
— Why the hell can Jimmy never keep a straight face after punching a hole in the wall in these Top O’ The Morning sketches?
— Man, I swear Jimmy is INTENTIONALLY imitating Mike Myers whenever he and Seth do the “Not here, not now” crying bit. He’s even got Mike’s physical mannerisms down pat.
— Much like John McCain in the first installment of this sketch, this sketch is made a little more watchable by a fun character from Ray.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Who Invited You”


THE RIALTO GRANDE
over-the-hill Vegas lounge comic Buddy Mills (CHK) does his geriatric act

— The debut of Buddy Mills, one of Kattan’s better characters from his later seasons. This is the beginning of what I call The Redemption Of Chris Kattan, as Kattan would go on to do quite a number of solid things in the second half of this final season of his that redeem him from how awful he was in the preceding season and how useless and invisible he was in the first half of this season. That being said, these Buddy Mills sketches follow a VERY strict formula in every single installment, and I worry I’m gonna get tired of it after reviewing two or three installments, especially given how frequently these sketches appear in the second half of this season.
— A funny running gag with the delayed rimshot from Fred’s old drummer character, though that’s something that I’m especially worried I’ll eventually get tired of when it gets repeated in every single subsequent installment of this sketch.
— I love the sounds Kattan’s Buddy Mills makes whenever he laughs (e.g. “Haaaaaa, my prostate, I can’t!”).
— Nice touch with the female cast members each walking by, one-by-one, throughout the sketch as frumpy waitresses.
— Some funny corny banter between Kattan and Ray.
— A huge laugh from Fred doing a delayed rimshot during a dark, emotional conversation between Kattan and Ray.
— Nice ending.
STARS: ****


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A pretty solid episode. There was a consistency to most of the episode, there were some really strong segments (especially the one-two-three punch of The Fun Friend Club, The Falconer, and Straight Talk, all of which aired one after another), and the overall show had a vibe to it that I really enjoyed. Ray Liotta was a fun, energetic, and committed host, adding to the enjoyable vibe of this episode. All of this served as a nice rebound from the very lousy, troubled episode we got the preceding week.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jeff Gordon)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Matthew McConaughey

Posted on

Closed comments for DeNiro and Gore reviews now re-opened

It’s been called to my attention that the comments in my recent Robert DeNiro and Al Gore episode reviews were closed, which I hadn’t been aware of. I’ve come to the realization that the closed comments was an accident that resulted from me making some edits to the DeNiro and Gore reviews while my internet was acting wonky. Just now, I’ve re-opened the comments to those two reviews, so if you wanted to leave a comment for either review while the comments were closed, you are now free to do so.

If you ever notice in the future that a review of mine has closed comments, please let me know, because chances are it’s an accident that I’m unaware of.

Posted on

January 11, 2003 – Jeff Gordon / Avril Lavigne (S28 E9)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

ADDRESS
Kim Jong Il (HOS) delineates the roots of his irrational behavior

— Our first of quite a number of tedious translator cold opening from this season.
— Kim Jong Il’s listing off of his endless psychological disorders is awfully reminiscent of the Dell Computer Guy commentary on Weekend Update earlier this season. Both that commentary and tonight’s cold opening even use Gender Dysphoria as one of the psychological disorders.
— (*sigh*) I’m two minutes into this, and I’ve barely laughed.
— Blah, most of this cold opening is just an endless, unfunny listing off of psychological disorders and the medications that Jong Il takes.
— Overall, worst cold opening of the season so far.
STARS: *½


MONOLOGUE
in honor of host, Manhattanites (CHP) & (RAD) pretend to be NASCAR fans

— Nice to see Parnell playing a role different from what SNL usually typecasts him as.
— After a somewhat-funny/somewhat-iffy first half, we get a decent reveal that Parnell and Rachel are only acting like rowdy NASCAR fans because they’re New Yorkers who waited a long time to get SNL tickets, and it turned out to be tickets for a Jeff Gordon-hosted episode. Parnell’s dignified voice during this whole reveal is a nice touch.
STARS: **½


JOE HETERO
Joe Hetero (SEM) is the likewise-misnamed follow-up to Joe Millionaire

— A quick and decent Joe Millionaire parody with an amusing reveal, kicking off tonight’s runner.
STARS: ***


BRIAN FELLOW’S SAFARI PLANET
supposedly-armless snake can’t be trusted

— Right out of the gate, Gordon already messes up the first name of his character, but he’s not an actor, so he has an excuse. (What’s DeNiro’s excuse?)
— Very funny threat from Brian Fellow about putting his foot in the snake’s ass and making a boot.
— Horatio as a Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet guest AGAIN, after he was a guest in the last installment of this sketch and performed so lousily in it, being all giggly for no reason?
— Tracy’s even more stumbly with his lines throughout this sketch than Jeff Gordon is.
— A good laugh from Brian Fellow comparing the sheep to Tiger Woods when Brian is confused over the sheep being black or Chinese.
— There goes Horatio’s giggliness again, this time in response to his sheep unexpectedly eating from plants on the set.
— Funny thought bubble of a snake punching Brian Fellow’s mother.
STARS: ***½


ACCESS HOLLYWOOD
Diana Ross (MAR) performs while failing a sobriety test

— Jimmy finally displays his FIRST celebrity impression all season. It’s odd he went this long without doing one, considering how common his impressions used to be and the fact that they’re where his real knack lies.
— Jimmy’s Pat O’Brien impression is okay, but it’s an impression I would eventually go on to get sick of the following season when it gets overused in quite a number of sketches with questionable writing.
— A laugh from Maya’s Diana Ross signing her written sobriety test as “To Dabney Coleman, we’ll always have Aspen, with love, Diana Rose.”
— I like the exchange between the two cops when one of them unintentionally pulls off Diana Ross’ wig: “What should I do with this?” “Cuff it and read it its rights?” That made me laugh more than a lot Maya’s antics in this sketch, which are falling fairly flat with me and (kinda) the studio audience.
STARS: **


JOE CAUCASIAN
Joe Caucasian (TRM) is the latest FOX reality show with a twist

— A huge laugh from Tracy’s bad white make-up and classic one-liner into the camera: “I’mma get all these white chicks pregnant.”
— At the end, the audience seemed confused over whether to applaud or not. I’m getting bad flashbacks to the very unresponsive audience from the Sarah Michelle Gellar episode.
STARS: ****


CAREER DAY
on career day, carpet salesman (SEM) is upstaged by fighter pilot (host)

— Two minutes into this sketch, and I finally get my first real laugh, with one kid yelling during Seth’s presentation “This is so boring!”, and Amy responding to the kid “That is no way to talk to your father!”
— Good ad-lib from Amy after she mistakenly says the awkwardly-worded sentence “I do might like a pair.”
— Overall, blah. This sketch was just as bland as Seth’s carpet salesman character was.
STARS: **


STAR DATES
Gary Busey (JER) embarrasses himself while out with (RAD)

— Dean (in a role where he actually gets more than one measly line) is playing Jordan Black, who, funnily enough, would go on to become an SNL writer the following season, IIRC.
— Yes! The debut of Jeff Richards’ Gary Busey impression! This impression of his is absolutely killer.
— Lots of laughs all throughout this sketch from Richards-as-Busey’s insane, oddball spiels and stories. Or, at least I’m getting a lot of laughs. The studio audience, on the other hand, isn’t giving this sketch the love it deserves.
— Funny sequence with Gordon beating Busey’s ass.
— The “Coming up next on Star Dates” ending scene came off kinda unnecessary and awkwardly executed.
STARS: ****


JOE NOT-A-RAPIST
Joe Not-A-Rapist (CHP) brings deception of potential brides to a new low

— A funny dark premise for this installment of tonight’s Joe Millionaire runner, and Parnell as the rapist gives a great skeevy look into the camera at the end.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “I’m With You”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Brigitte Boisselier (AMP) & Rael (CHK) bask in the success of Clonaid

in his head, JIF prematurely gloats about consequences of winning Grammy

prospect of biopic has caused Gay Hitler to go Hollywood

 

— Amy’s mere facial expression at beginning of her and Kattan’s commentary is funny.
— Amy and Kattan’s cloned baby turns out to be the same deformed baby character that Rachel used to play in those Angelina Jolie Update commentaries. Always funny to see that character walk on. However, I wasn’t too crazy about anything else in the overall Amy/Kattan commentary.
— I like the use of a fake brick wall behind Jimmy (held by Tina) during Jimmy’s intentionally corny stand-up-comedian-type joke about discarded Christmas trees.
— A solid out-of-the-ordinary sequence with Jimmy’s inner thoughts regarding being nominated for a Grammy.
— Now this segment with Jimmy’s inner thoughts has gotten even better with the whole bit with Will as Jimmy’s old high school buddy. What’s with the audience member sitting behind him, though? He’s mugging up a storm.
— The Ghostbusters part of Jimmy’s inner thought sequence is particularly funny.
— “The Pink Fuhrer”? Oh, no, does that mean we’re in for another Gay Hitler walk-on?
— Oh, god, it’s even worse than I thought. Kattan’s playing a hybrid of Gay Hitler and that unbelievably god-awful Hollywood character that Kattan once did on Update last season. Jesus Christ. Oh, and by the way, why the hell are we seeing Kattan TWICE on tonight’s Update, doing two completely different commentaries as two completely different characters? Kattan, you ain’t no Tim Kazurinsky.
— A very random but fun little bit at the very end, where, after Jimmy and Tina sign off, instead of Jimmy doing his trademark pencil throw towards the camera (which he blatantly refrained from doing the last few Updates), SNL writer Eric Slovin appears as a Shakespearean actor and takes Jimmy’s pencil away in a case. This would go on to be a running gag for the remainder of this season, with Eric Slovin walking on as a different character each time and taking Jimmy’s pencil away in different ways.
— The long streak of me not caring for any of the guest commentaries on Weekend Update continues, with tonight being the SIXTH consecutive Update that’s happened in. This is getting ridiculous. However, at least the non-commentary portions of tonight’s Update really stepped it up and was easily the best that Update has been all season, feeling like a return to form for Jimmy and Tina. (It doesn’t last, though. In fact, I recall Tina having a particularly weak night in the Update from the very next episode.)
STARS: ***½


AQUARIUM REPAIRMEN
aquarium repairmen (JIF) & (HOS) make stream-of-consciousness wisecracks

— OH. NO. Here comes a very notorious Fallon/Sanz sketch that Jimmy and Horatio would themselves later call “The worst sketch we’ve ever done”.
— Hearing Jimmy speaking in that voice reminds me that a fellow SNL reviewer back in 2003 pointed out in his review of this sketch that Jimmy appeared to be doing an imitation of the voice Christopher Guest used in those “I hate when that happens” sketches that Guest regularly did with Billy Crystal back in season 10.
— Good God, this “Ova heah” routine of Jimmy and Horatio’s is FUCKING TORTURE. Not even the audience is laughing at this crap. I remember saying in my original review of this sketch that this felt like SNL was using a leftover script for a typical bad Chris Farley/Adam Sandler sketch from the 94-95 season. I also remember one or two online SNL fans back in 2003 defending this sketch by saying it seemed to be SNL intentionally doing a self-deprecating spoof of their own bad, one-note, catchphrase-delivering characters. Yeah, I don’t see it. If this was intended as a spoof of bad SNL characters, I feel like SNL would’ve been a lot more wink-wink and obvious in their approach. And even if this sketch was SNL doing a self-deprecating spoof, it’s completely undermined by casting Jimmy and Horatio in the lead roles, who are making this less into an SNL self-deprecating piece and are turning it more into a showcase of the typical self-indulgent jackassery we get whenever those two guys are paired together.
— What the hell was with Amy’s random panicked yell of “My family pictures!” when Jimmy and Horatio frantically bolt out of the house? That line makes no sense to me.
— Aaaaaaand there goes our obligatory Fallon/Sanz giggling meltdown, derailing this already far-gone, disastrous sketch. This is probably the #1 most infamous, notorious example of Fallon/Sanz breaking. And why in the world is Jimmy pulling off his fake mustache during his laughing here? Are he and Horatio just flat-out giving up on this sketch, knowing how far-gone and derailed it’s become?
— Not even Fred’s pants-around-his-ankles mental breakdown is helping this.
— An awful “Gary’s Fish Tanks” reveal at the end.
— My thoughts of this overall sketch as a whole? Two words: fucking oof.
STARS: * (and even that’s being generous)


CHARLIE ROSE
unfocused interview annoys Donald Rumsfeld (DAH)

— Good to see another Jeff Richards celebrity impression showcase tonight, this time getting a full sketch for his solid Charlie Rose impression that we formerly only saw a brief glimpse of in a Mango sketch from the preceding season.
— This is Darrell’s first and ONLY appearance of this episode. I remember it felt to me at the time this sketch originally aired that 1) Darrell making his only appearance of the night in such a late spot in the show was a possible sign that he was on his way out, and 2) this sketch was a possible passing-of-the-torch between impressionist extraordinaires Darrell and Jeff. As we know now, I ended up being dead wrong about BOTH theories. Who would’ve guessed at this time that Jeff would abruptly be gone from the show just a little over a year later, and Darrell would stay until freakin’ 2009?
— Ehh, this sketch is going nowhere. The premise of Darrell’s Donald Rumsfeld constantly getting cut off by Richards’ Charlie Rose throughout the interview has been done to death elsewhere on SNL, and was done better. Oh, and once again tonight, the audience is dead during this sketch.
— Okay, I finally got a laugh, from Rose confusing Rumsfeld for increasingly un-Rumsfeld-like people, like Marv Albert and the Hamburglar, and even that’s just a cheap laugh.
— A weak and cliched ending with Rose declaring “We’re out of time” before he’s even gotten to the question he wanted to ask Rumsfeld, then beginning to talk too much during his sign-off, leading to Rumsfeld angrily walking out.
STARS: *½


JOE DUDE
Joe Dude (TIF) seeks a same-sex marriage on the sly

— This Joe Millionaire runner is kinda getting old, though the reveal of Tina as a woman disguising herself as a male bachelor is worth a laugh, as is her delivery of “I wish I could marry all of you. Damn!”
— There was originally going to be a FIFTH edition of tonight’s Joe Millionaire runner, with Jeff Richards playing “Joe Huge Penis”. It would end up getting cut after dress rehearsal.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Complicated”


THE TERRYE FUNCK HOUR
amateurish show is taped in Terrye Funck (CHP)’s basement

— Once again tonight, it’s nice to see Parnell being cast in a role that’s different from the roles he usually gets typecast in. Also nice to see him so front-and-center here, where he gets to carry most of the sketch in a comedic role.
— Oh, is Jeff Gordon tonight’s SNL host? I’ve been starting to forget that, considering it feels like he’s been absent from half of tonight’s sketches.
— Gordon finally plays a comedic character tonight. His performance here is corny as all hell, but he’s making me laugh.
— There’s not much to this sketch, though I am liking Parnell and Gordon’s performances.
STARS: **½


STRIPPER POLE
liven up your party with the staple of exotic dancing

— Oh my god. The usually extremely underused Dean Edwards in a… CO-STARRING role???
— Boy, this sketch is absolutely flat and a dud. And, ONCE AGAIN tonight, the audience is dead. This has the hollow feel of a bad sketch from one of SNL’s three most notorious seasons (6, 11, and 20).
— Even in a co-starring role, Dean’s not adding anything to this. Hell, not even usual sketch-saver Tracy, or Amy’s skewering of big-boobed bimbos, can save this.
STARS: *


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Man, what a rough episode. While there were some solid highlights, they were extremely outnumbered by a lot of lousy sketches, including one of the worst sketches I’ve ever reviewed in this SNL project of mine (Aquarium Repairmen). The increasingly unresponsive studio audience also didn’t help the feel of tonight’s episode. Overall, definitely one of the weakest episodes I’ve reviewed in a long time.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Al Gore)
a big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Ray Liotta

Posted on

December 14, 2002 – Al Gore / Phish (S28 E8)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

BACKSTAGE
host locks lips with wife Tipper [real] in an extended passionate kiss

— I’m getting some laughs from Al Gore’s panicking over having not seen his wife for over 10 minutes.
— Jimmy and Lorne’s nonchalant reaction to Al and Tipper’s never-ending kiss is pretty funny. This never-ending kiss is also a good spoof of their famous kiss at the 2000 Democratic Convention.
— Feels a little odd to watch this in retrospect, given Al and Tipper’s later divorce.
— Jimmy and Lorne casually mention that Jimmy’s leaving SNL after this season to do a sitcom. This is just a random joke that wasn’t based on any reality (kinda in the vein of a moment in the Cider House Rules cold opening from season 25’s Tobey Maguire episode, when Lorne makes a mention of Jimmy having left SNL to join the cast of Ally McBeal), but I remember this caused some confusion among online SNL fans, who really did wonder if Jimmy’s leaving after this season, and this confusion also led to some interesting online discussion on some of the problems with Jimmy on SNL lately, mainly the fact that he’s inexplicably stopped doing celebrity impressions (he’s gone through the ENTIRE first half of this season without doing a single impression, if you can believe it), which is a shame, as impressions are where his real knack lies.
— Interestingly, Tracy’s walk-on gets some applause from the audience, which shows how far he’s come along on SNL over the course of his tenure, and how much of an asset he’s been to this season.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
host selected running mate Joe Lieberman (CHP) a la The Bachelor

— Al gets a good laugh early on from the “patronizing” bit.
— I had completely forgotten that Seth’s John Kerry impression debuted THIS early. I associate that impression far more with the following two seasons.
— Very funny how Al’s selection of his 2000 election running mate is being presented in the style of The Bachelor. This is being executed very solidly.
— A memorable and funny hot tub scene with Parnell’s Lieberman and Al.
STARS: ****


HARDBALL
Trent Lott (host) delineates his thoughts on segregation

— Amusing to see Al playing Trent Lott in the wake of a controversial racial-related comment Lott had recently made.
— A huge laugh from Al-as-Lott’s “apology” being him clarifying that he meant no disrespect to any white people, and then promising to leave no whites behind as long as he’s in office. Darrell’s Chris Matthews also has a fantastic response to that: “Senator, you’re shedding a lot of light on the situation. Unfortunately, the light’s coming from a cross you just set on fire.”
— Just now, Darrell’s Matthews has exclaimed “Wowie wow wow wow”, ala The Continental. I wonder if that’s an intentional reference.
— Another Tracy Morgan entrance tonight that receives audience applause.
— Hilarious how Tracy’s Al Sharpton explains that he’s so mad, he made words up: “Gorglesnorp, zibbety-zabbety, beep, and boop-boop!”
— I love how Darrell-as-Chris-Matthews’ traditional ending line, “coming up on Hardball”, is delivered more and more unintelligibly with each passing Hardball sketch. Tonight, he literally says it as “dabbadda Hahdbah”.
— Overall, while this doesn’t measure up to the outstanding preceding Hardball sketch from the John McCain episode, this was still very strong, and all the portions with Al’s Trent Lott were gold.
STARS: ****½


FIESTA POLITICA
talk show’s format isn’t a good match for host’s style

 

— The second and final installment of this sketch.
— I remember when this originally aired, this was one of the main sketches responsible for causing a backlash against Maya among quite a number of online SNL fans. Those SNL fans got really sick of Maya this season, especially with the large amount of airtime she suddenly received this season (particularly in the second half of the season) and the type of characters and voices she did this season. Looking back at this sketch now, I’m not quite seeing what’s so bad about her performance, or why it earned the ire of the aforementioned online SNL fans. That being said, this sketch is getting one-note, and it feels unnecessary to have brought back for a second installment. The constant cutaways to Horatio are ESPECIALLY getting really old.
— I do at least like the new addition of Fred as “Poco Loco”.
— Okay, yeah, NOW I think I’m starting to see why so many online SNL fans had such a problem with Maya’s performance in this sketch. Her strained laughing-while-speaking voice whenever she says “Oh, Poco Loco, you are so funny!” is quite irritating.
— Funny close-up of an awkward Al Gore and the chihuahua being held next to his face, with Al being forced to say “I love you” to the chihuahua.
STARS: **


THE WEST WING SET
host makes himself at home on Oval Office set of The West Wing

— I like how Al introduces this from the set of the Fiesta Politica sketch, immediately after that sketch has ended. Kinda gives this intro the feel of something from SNL’s early days.
— This short film is a nice out-of-the-ordinary segment for this era of SNL, and it’s cool how this is involving the actual West Wing cast.
— Great laughs from Al milking his stay in the West Wing’s oval office set for as long as he possibly can while pretending he’s president.
— Al’s odd requests to the West Wing actors are very funny, as are the West Wing actors’ reactions.
— I love the ending with the lights on the set turning off as Al remains happily sitting back in the Oval Office desk chair.
STARS: ****½


JARRET’S ROOM
professor (host) thinks musical guest sets a bad example

— The preceding West Wing short film has put the audience in such a good mood that their applause from the end of that film transitions into wild, infectious cheers when this Jarret’s Room sketch shows up immediately afterwards.
— Didn’t SNL just do a Jarret’s Room sketch TWO EPISODES AGO? That being said, it’s understandable why this sketch is appearing tonight, considering how established it is that Jarret and Gobi are big fans of Phish, who happen to be tonight’s musical guest. Still, I remember it was known at the time of the preceding installment of this sketch that Phish was going to be the musical guest for the Christmas episode, so SNL should’ve just waited until tonight’s episode to do this sketch.
— Here’s our obligatory Phish walk-on.
— This is having a very “Wayne’s World Meets Aerosmith” vibe to it, even if this is obviously nowhere near as classic as THAT.
— A good laugh from Gobi mistaking Trey Anastasio for Chuck Norris when recalling Anastasio running him over with a van.
— Horatio’s usual Gobi characterization and giggliness seems more toned down tonight, which is a relief.
— Al telling Phish “Get a job, you damn, dirty hippies!” is pretty funny, as is him warning us that Phish is what you turn into when you slack off in college.
— And now we get Phish and Gobi performing a musical number together. Yep, SNL is definitely going for another “Wayne’s World Meets Aerosmith” with this sketch. While this, again, is nowhere near as classic, I certainly won’t deny that this is fun, and is helping make this one of the better Jarret’s Room installments.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “46 Days”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Moonlight Bunny Ranch brothel workers (RAD) & (AMP) talk about their job

— Boy, I can’t tell if Tina’s Trent Lott-related “Santa holding a black baby” joke was awful, or if it was just Tina’s delivery of it that was awful. Either way, it’s a prime example of how downhill Tina has been going as an anchorperson this season.
— The overall Amy/Rachel commentary didn’t do much for me as a whole, though the virgin stuff they directed at Jimmy was okay.
— Tina somewhat redeems herself from her aforementioned awful Santa/black baby joke with her very funny Rosie O’Donnell joke.
— Interesting in retrospect hearing a mention of then-17 year old high school basketball player LeBron James and how he may be the first pick in the following year’s NBA draft.
— Short Update tonight. This is also the FIFTH consecutive Update in which I didn’t like the guest commentaries. Man, what is HAPPENING to Update this season?
— I mentioned in the preceding episode’s Update that Jimmy refrained from doing his usual pencil-throw-towards-the-camera routine after signing off at the end, instead just placing his pencil down on the desk. Well, at the end of tonight’s Update, not only does he just place his pencil down on the desk again, but he does it very blatantly this time, as if he’s making some kind of point by doing so. I don’t know what happened behind the scenes that seemingly “suspended” Jimmy from throwing the pencil like he usually does, but this ends up leading into a fun running gag in the entire second half of this season, starting in the very next episode, in which every Update ends with SNL writer Eric Slovin randomly walking on as a different character each time and helping Jimmy dispose of his pencil in a way that pertains to the character Slovin is dressed as.
STARS: **½


DAILY AFFIRMATION WITH STUART SMALLEY
Stuart helps host overcome pain of election result

— Holy hell, the return of Daily Affirmation With Stuart Smalley! Very random, but great to see this back, and it’s quite a novelty seeing it appear in a completely different SNL era. It feels good to review a Stuart Smalley sketch again for the first time since I covered season 20.
— Quite a lot of mentions tonight of recurring characters having been run over by a vehicle, between Gobi in the Jarret’s Room sketch and now Stuart Smalley in this sketch.
— After all these years, Al Franken’s still got it when it comes to how well he plays Stuart Smalley.
— A huge laugh from the fake photo of a fat, bearded, pizza-eating Al Gore three months after the election.
— I love Gore’s annoyed delivery of “What?!?” when Stuart calls his name.
— Pretty funny sequence with the affirmation that Stuart makes Gore do into the mirror.
STARS: ****


WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
Willy Wonka’s (JER) accountant brother (host) explains fiscal realities

— Good to see Jeff’s solid Willy Wonka impression back.
— Al looks hilarious in that costume.
— Funny line from Al about giving Oompah Loompahs green cards.
— Al’s a lot of fun in this.
— Another funny line from Al, this time about a fat kid drowning in Willy Wonka’s chocolate river.
— A big laugh from Kattan as an Oompah Loompah dryly reading from his report, “Uh… we’re Oompah Loompah Doompity screwed.”
STARS: ***½


TV FUNHOUSE
by RBS- Peanuts Gang transforms the spirit of A Charlie Brown Christmas

 

— You can already tell this is going to be great, as Robert Smigel’s Peanuts homages are always fantastic.
— Funny updated versions of the things the Peanuts gang magically transform into something better, such as a street hooker being turned into Dirrty-era Christina Aguilera, Ben Affleck being given bigger hands while feeling up Jennifer Lopez’s big butt, and Blanket Jackson being enlarged so he can get revenge on his daddy.
— A funny sorrowful delivery of “Goodbye, lesbians” from Charlie when the gang has to turn the attractive grownup lesbians back into Marcie and Peppermint Patty.
— A sweet ending that’s actually making me feel really emotional right now, to be honest.
— An overall wonderful Christmas-related Peanuts spoof as expected, though not quite enough to be a five-star classic, in my opinion.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Chalk Dust Torture”


CHRISTMAS EVE DRINKS
on Christmas Eve, sozzled (TRM) & (MAR) musically consider drink options

— Our fourth and final of the series of Tracy/Maya semi-dramatic slice-of-life sketches.
— There’s Maya doing that nasal, throaty “old black lady voice”, which she’ll go back to in quite a number of sketches over the years, one of the things that turned a number of online SNL fans against Maya this season.
— A fairly fun vibe to the drinking song that Tracy and Maya are singing.
— I remember a fellow SNL reviewer back in 2002 pointing out that not only does this sketch have a similar vibe to the Pudge & Solomon sketches that Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo used to do together, but that Tracy’s character even looks like Joe’s Pudge character from those sketches.
— I’m loving Tracy’s acting in this.
— Nice ending.
STARS: ***½


SEASON’S GREETINGS
toys HOS, CHK, TRM, JIF perform a happy Christmas ditty

— I always find it such a treat to see these bits, and I love the way they set this particular one up, showing a wrapped gift box under a tree, and transitioning it to a shot of a giant wrapped gift box prop that Horatio and the gang bust through.
— Fun toy costumes that the guys are wearing.
— Portions of this song seem like they had some last-minute shortening. I’m guessing the show was starting to run long and Horatio was told right before this sketch went on air that he has to cut out some of the lyrics.
— This would end up being the last occurrence of these I Wish It Was Christmas Today numbers while all four of the performers are still in the cast. There was originally going to be one that gets performed at the end of this season in the season finale, which is Tracy and Kattan’s final episode, but reportedly, Horatio and Jimmy threw off the song so much in dress rehearsal by laughing so hard that it led to the piece getting cut from the live show.
STARS: ****


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A strong episode and, in addition to having lots of great sketches, had a feel-good vibe to it, which I something I love about a lot of SNL’s Christmas episodes. Al Gore, even with his stiffness and lack of acting experience, was a solid host and, much like John McCain earlier this season, proved to be a great sport. Back in December 2002, I never would’ve guessed that out of Robert DeNiro (the preceding host) and Al Gore, Gore would be the one who would turn out to be the far better host and would have the far more memorable episode.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Robert DeNiro)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
We enter the year 2003, with host Jeff Gordon