Author: Stooge

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December 7, 2002 – Robert DeNiro / Norah Jones (S28 E7)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

HOMELAND SECURITY BRIEFING
Craig Fenson (host) reads naughty-sounding names of suspected terrorists

— Darrell’s Tom Ridge bit at the beginning of this is just continuing the joke of his appearance from the preceding season, using odd color choices for terror alerts.
— A huge laugh from the first terrorist name: M’Balz Es-Hari.
— This plethora of immature terrorist names has me practically on the floor. I cannot stop laughing. This is an example of SNL pulling off sophomoric humor the right way.
— The pictures of the cast members as terrorists are cracking me up and are making some of these dirty names even funnier.
— Some good wordplay about some of these dirty-named terrorists, such as Robert DeNiro telling us that I-Zheet M’Drurz “left skidmarks when fleeing the scene of his last attack”.
— I remember at the time, it was a novelty seeing someone of Robert DeNiro’s stature doing dick and fart jokes in this cold opening. Unfortunately, that novelty is LONG gone nowadays, with DeNiro semi-regularly doing low-brow horseshit like Dirty Grandpa. However, this cold opening still holds up as very funny.
— I’m glad this cold opening ended at the right time, before the joke got too old.
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
(no synopsis available)

— Very stilted and awkward delivery from DeNiro, and he looks like it’s a chore for him to be hosting.
— Boy, that “punchline” at the end was awful, and received very light and uncomfortable chuckles from the audience.
— And that’s the end??? This monologue was NOTHING. Normally, I’d give credit to SNL for doing a real monologue in an era where real monologues were becoming increasingly rare. But… again, this monologue was NOTHING. All it did was set the tone for the rough episode we’re in for tonight.
— Reminiscent of another terrible SNL host, Steven Seagal, DeNiro begins walking offstage before he’s even completely finished with his “Norah Jones is here, so stick around, we’ll be right back” tagline.
STARS: *


BIG’N TASTY
disclaimers give potential risks associated with McDonald’s Big N’ Tasty

— The Jim Downey-read sardonic disclaimers about the Big N’ Tasty are very funny, made even funnier by Downey’s reliable dry voice-over.
— Great disclaimer about children and morons being valued McDonald’s customers.
— I’m getting a slight bit of a Happy Fun Ball vibe from some of these disclaimers, though this commercial has much more of a sneering tone, as opposed to Happy Fun Ball’s more absurdist tone.
— I absolutely love the “The Big N’ Tasty is not God” disclaimer, which is pretty much to this commercial what “Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball” is to Happy Fun Ball.
STARS: ****


JEFFERSON’S SLAVE
Thomas Jefferson (host) puts the moves on his slave Sally Hemings (MAR)

— (*sigh*) Right out of the gate at the beginning of this, the lead off-sketch of the night, DeNiro IMMEDIATELY fucks up his first line, a line that was supposed to be a big laugh-getter. Boy, this is gonna be a LONG episode, isn’t it?
— Some good reality subtext in this sketch, digging at DeNiro’s real-life reputation for having a preference for black women.
— I got a good laugh from DeNiro’s Thomas Jefferson asking Maya’s Sally Hemmings to call him “T.J.”.
— A lot of pretty funny exchanges between Jefferson and Hemmings. One particularly strong one is “Have you ever thought about being a singer?” “Um, it’s really not an option for me.”
— Funny turn at the end with Tracy as the narrator.
STARS: ***½


PETER PAN REHEARSAL
gruff theater veteran (host) assumes titular role in Peter Pan production

— Yawn. DeNiro playing a tough New Yorker in tights. I can already tell THIS is gonna be a thin sketch.
— It’s now about a minute-and-a-half later, and yep, so much tired, cliched, lazy humor here.
— Okay, I actually got a big laugh just now from DeNiro’s dirty line towards Amy about “going downtown so long, you won’t ever need to wax again.”
— Horrible delivery from DeNiro on his line about having a three-way with an IHOP waitress and her mom.
STARS: *½


MALL SANTA
frustrated mall Santa (host) argues with his helper elf girlfriend (MAR)

— Yawn. DeNiro playing a tough New Yorker in a Santa costume. And, again, so much tired, cliched, lazy humor throughout this sketch.
— Maya and DeNiro being coupled together in a second sketch tonight makes me remember that some online SNL fans at the time tried to start a rumor that DeNiro and Maya had something going on behind the scenes, given DeNiro’s aforementioned preference for black women.
— I think the little boy in this sketch is one of the twins who appeared a year earlier in another Christmas-related mall sketch: the Sears Photographers sketch from the Hugh Jackman episode (a side-by-side comparison below).

— DeNiro is extremely glued to those cue cards, which reminds me that SNL would later show the dress rehearsal version of this sketch in reruns, in which, at one point, DeNiro has SO MUCH trouble reading one particular word off of the cue card that he just gives up and literally says “Whatever that is” and waves off the cue card. Jesus Christ.
— I finally got a laugh from this sketch, with Rachel panickedly telling the little boy “Run, Zach, run!”
— A second laugh, this time from Parnell’s delivery of “Your loss. Nice meeting you” to Maya and DeNiro right before walking away from them, after offering them a great deal. It’s a shame that my only two laughs in this entire sketch are from two cast members who are only playing a side role here.
STARS: *½


U.N. WEAPONS INSPECTORS
U.N. Weapons Inspectors’ (JIF) & (host) cursory search comes up empty

— (After a lengthy set-up) Weapons Inspector: “You got weapons?” Iraqi: “……..No.” Weapons Inspector: “Okay.” (*END OF SKETCH*) Hilarious. Even just the shifty-eyed look on Fred’s face as the Iraqi added to the humor.
— I think whoever wrote this sketch was once quoted somewhere as saying they’re glad this sketch was pre-taped, so DeNiro couldn’t fuck it up.
STARS: ****


JUDGE HORACE
(host) sues girlfriend (HOS) for not losing weight

— The opening intro sequence with Tracy’s Judge Horace is freakin’ hilarious . There are a lot of funny aspects in it, but even just Tracy’s mere delivery alone is killing me.
— A funny line from the voice-over describing Horatio’s female character as “suffering from the Elephant Man disease and having a slight marijuana problem.”
— DeNiro playing a character named Joe Blow? Where’s Colin Quinn when you need him?
— (*sigh*) There goes DeNiro fucking up lines once again.
— A laugh from Tracy’s Judge Horace asking Will as his bailiff to roll him a blunt.
— The premise of Tracy playing a very Tracy Morgan-esque judge is very promising, but ehhh, the actual sketch is turning out to be a bit on the blah side, despite occasional laughs.
— I love Will’s straitlaced delivery of “Sir, your blunt is ready” when returning with Judge Horace’s blunt.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Don’t Know Why”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Whitney Houston (MAR) & Bobby Brown (TRM) explain their drug use

Marty (CHK) & Sylvia (RAD) Feinblatt are sick about their vacation cruise

— Some fairly lukewarm laughter from the audience in response to a lot of Jimmy and Tina’s jokes so far tonight.
— The debut of Maya’s Whitney Houston impression.
— The ending of the Whitney/Bobby commentary, with the visual gag of Tracy-as-Bobby-Brown’s hair flop-sweating, was worth a laugh, as was Maya’s Whitney then saying “Bobby needs his weed!” The rest of their commentary was nothing special at all.
— Pretty funny how Jimmy does a joke about Phish the week before they’re musical guests on SNL, which Jimmy lampshades by following his joke with “See ya next week, Trey.”
— Jimmy does another Norm Macdonald-esque joke and subsequent deadpan staredown of the camera this season, this time with his Sopranos joke. What was with Tina’s horrible ad-lib afterwards, though?
— Rachel and Kattan play a convincing stereotypical old Jewish couple, but boy, am I bored during this commentary of theirs. Not a single laugh from me so far.
— A very lame and desperate punchline to Rachel and Kattan’s commentary, with them spitting out fake vomit.
— For the first in quite a long time, Jimmy doesn’t throw his pencil towards the camera at the end of Update after signing off. He instead just carefully places the pencil on the Update desk. This reminds me that we’ll soon be getting a recurring gag at the end of the Updates from the second half of this season, involving Jimmy’s pencil and SNL writer Eric Slovin.
— This is the second consecutive Update in which I disliked all the guest commentaries. Come to think of it, I also disliked the sole guest commentary in the Update before that (Seth Meyers), as well as all the guest commentaries in the Update before THAT (Gene Shalit, Baby K). My God, when was the last Update that had a guest commentary that I actually liked? Was it the Update that had Tim Calhoun’s great debut, way back in the John McCain episode from October? If so, damn, Update has taken such a drop in quality this season that even the guest commentaries are going down the toilet.
STARS: **


A VERY VERSACE CHANUKAH
Siegfried (Harvey Keitel) & Roy (host)

— It feels like Maya’s been getting tons of airtime tonight.
— I keep expecting Maya’s Versace impression to get to the point where it’s become officially played-out and unfunny, but nope, it’s still working for me thus far, even though her impression has gotten toned down these last two appearances, and I prefer the more animated, wackier version of this Versace impression that Maya did in the preceding season’s Hugh Jackman episode.
— A decent appearance from Horatio and Amy’s Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne impressions.
— Maya’s marshmallow didn’t light on fire like it was supposed to, yet she’s acting like it did, which looks just plain silly.
— That’s not Dean playing the buff, shirtless Santa, is it? If so, it’s his only appearance in this entire episode. Until doing this review just now, I had always thought he made no appearances in this episode.
— Okay, I can now see that that’s not Dean as the buff, shirtless Santa. So that makes this the THIRD episode this season that Dean is completely absent in, and we’re not even halfway through the season yet! Jesus Christ. I ask once again, how in the hell did this guy get a second season on SNL? He went from being a glorified extra in his first season to now being someone who’s lucky if he even gets to APPEAR in the show any given week.
— At least DeNiro is finally playing against type, for the first time all night.
— Harvey Keitel cameo. (I remember some online SNL fan at the time mistook Keitel in this sketch for James Caan, which is hilarious to me.) While I’m not exactly laughing much at him playing Siegfried to DeNiro’s Roy, I do like seeing Keitel on SNL again, especially considering how much I love his SNL episode from season 18.
STARS: **½


SLAPPING SALESMAN
car salesman (host) slaps customer (SEM) to get him to buy options

— Yawn. DeNiro playing a tough New Yorker in a car salesman suit.
— This time, the laziness of the writing for these tedious “DeNiro plays a tough New Yorker” sketches has reached a new low, as this is an EXTREMELY weak one-joke premise. Even the audience has stopped laughing at all the slapping pretty early into this sketch. Not a good sign.
— Seth’s delivery of “Stay in the car, Paige!!” ALMOST induced a chuckle from me. I’m just desperate for something to laugh at in this awful sketch by this point.
STARS: *


BEDTIME STORY
divorced dad (host) uses bedtime story to badmouth ex-wife to son (CHK)

— (*sigh*) Right at top of the sketch, DeNiro mistakenly jumps ahead of the script by responding “Me too, buddy” BEFORE Kattan says the line that DeNiro’s supposed to say “Me too, buddy” in response to.
— Some funny dark turns in DeNiro’s bedtime story to Kattan. If only DeNiro could deliver A SINGLE DAMN LINE without tripping over his words.
— This sketch is getting better and better as it goes along. I love the particularly dark turn in the story just now, with DeNiro’s detailing Kattan’s mother running over the magic squirrel in the story, leading to the squirrel screaming things like “She crushed my spine!” and “The only joy she gets is from other people’s pain!” This is great, and has a very “Mr. Mike’s Least-Loved Bedtime Tales” vibe to it. The silly voice DeNiro’s using for the crushed squirrel is also very funny.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Come Away With Me”


RADIOACTIVE BEAR
countermeasures aimed at a giant radioactive bear just make things worse

— I’m loving the increasing absurdity in the military’s harebrained ideas of how to stop the first radioactive bear, and how their ideas are just making the bear attacks worse and worse.
— I howled at the reveal of the enlarged hunter (Will Forte) being useless against the giant radioactive bears because his gun still stayed the same size from before he got enlarged. Also a great visual afterwards of the hunter getting his arm yanked off by one of the bears and then getting beaten with it.
— A priceless reaction from Will when realizing the Viagra-induced horny bear is lustfully coming for him.
— This is the second sketch in two years that features a cast member named Will getting sodomized by an animal. Unlike the preceding season’s Christmas Kangaroo sketch, the sodomizing in this Radioactive Bear sketch doesn’t have any homophobic implications that might bother some people.
— During the sodomizing scene, I laughed so much at Parnell’s somewhat-deadpan “Yep, there’s the money shot” line.
— Hilarious bit with the military’s poisoned giant sandwich plan backfiring, when Will eats the poisoned giant sandwich that was intended for the bears. This is made even funnier by DeNiro’s “Not you, dummy! Leave the sandwich alooone! It’s not goooood!” and Parnell’s great delivery of “Well, after the beating and the sex, I guess he was hungry.” Man, this sketch is absolutely slaying me.
— The ending of this sketch gets cut off prematurely, due to the show running long. Is it safe to say that DeNiro’s stilted line deliveries and constant flubs all throughout the show are what caused the show to run long?
— The bears in this sketch were played by Jeff and Fred (the latter making his ONLY live appearance of the night), which you sure couldn’t tell from watching the sketch. I find it odd that SNL would use cast members in a role like that, where you can’t even see their faces, hear their voices, or have any other possible way of identifying them. I guess this is something SNL occasionally does with featured players, though. (For example, did you know that in Amy’s famous Sarah Palin rap on Weekend Update in a season 34 episode, the guy in the moose costume who Amy shoots with her finger is then-new featured player Bobby Moynihan?)
STARS: ****½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A disappointing episode. This did have its share of strong highlights, though, especially the nice upswing with the solid last two sketches, the second of which (Radioactive Bear) stands out as probably one of my favorite sketches of this season so far. However, tonight’s strong highlights aren’t enough to make you forget about the truly lazy writing and awfulness that was prevalent in this episode, and they’re certainly not enough to make you forget about how lousy Robert DeNiro was as a host. After being highly anticipated by viewers in his debut as an SNL host, Robert DeNiro showed the world that he and live sketch comedy do not mix. His performances were a mess all night, yet he would go on to inexplicably return in future hosting stints and cameos that also feature THE EXACT SAME stiff acting, stilted delivery, blatant cue card-staring, “I’d rather be anywhere but here” attitude, jumping ahead of the script, and constant line-flubbing from him. Will SNL ever learn?


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Brittany Murphy)
a step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Al Gore hosts the Christmas episode

Posted on

November 16, 2002 – Brittany Murphy / Nelly (S28 E6)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE CHANUKAH SONG
ADS & The Drei-Dels [real] perform “The Chanukah Song, Part 3”; ROS cameo

— Yes! The return of Adam Sandler and the Chanukah Song! I still remember the pure excitement I felt watching this cold opening when it originally aired.
— Great lyric about how “Tom Arnold converted, but you can have him back”.
— Hell yeah, now Rob Schneider joins in! I love how his and Adam’s mere appearance is giving this cold opening such a nostalgic vibe, making me feel like I’m reviewing the early 90s era again.
— After revealing he’s a Filipino Jew, Rob leaves to go home and “light the first pig”. The dress rehearsal version of this cold opening that’s shown in reruns doesn’t feature that exit from Rob. He instead stands with the choir and sings with them for the rest of this cold opening. I think I recall him also putting on a long blond wig when joining the choir, but I may be mistaken.
— This song is so much fun, and I like how the usual melody of Adam’s Chanukah Song is being given a more epic sound tonight, especially with the use of a choir.
— A fantastic “Live from New York…” delivery from Adam. This has always been one of my personal favorite LFNY deliveries of all time. Adam’s LFNY delivery in the aforementioned dress rehearsal version of this cold opening shown in reruns isn’t quite as good.
— Overall, what an incredible way to start off tonight’s episode.
— In this episode’s dress rehearsal, Adam made a second appearance later in the night, reprising Cajun Man on Weekend Update. It got cut from the live show.
STARS: ****½


MONOLOGUE
east coast & west coast castmembers settle comedic feud with a rap-off

— I love how this is setting up an East Coast/West Coast comedy war between the SNL cast. The whole initial confrontation between Parnell and Tracy is hilarious.
— Great addition of East Coast and West Coast cast members backing Tracy and Parnell, respectively. I also like how all the cast members on the West Coast side are Groundlings alums (Parnell, Kattan, Will, and Maya).
— Fuck yeah! A Chris Parnell rap! Always an epic treat.
— So many fantastic and hilarious lyrics in Parnell’s rap, especially “Lorne likes me so much, he hired me twice”, him name-dropping recent SNL hosts he’s slept with, and him dissing Tracy by telling him “You play Brian Fellow. Bitch, I’m PRESIDENT BUSH!”
— Ah, now Amy is about to showcase great rapping skills of her own, for the first time in her SNL tenure.
— Damn, and I thought Parnell’s lyrics were amazing. Amy’s lyrics are fucking KILLER, especially her great Corky Romano diss to Kattan, her Laraine Newman reference, and the “Say my name, Don Pardo” part. All of the inside/meta SNL jokes in both Parnell and Amy’s respective rap are perfect for SNL nerds like me.
— Aaaaaand Brittany Murphy now proceeds to kill all the great momentum, by stepping to the front of the stage and doing a “rap” of her own, complete with the less-than-pleasant visual of her flailing around her scarily skinny bare arms. Ehh, I’m probably being too harsh on Brittany’s rap, but still, it’s needless to say that her rap does not hold a candle to Parnell’s or Amy’s, and ends this monologue on kind of an anticlimactic note. I guess SNL had to give Brittany a rap of her own here, though, considering this is her monologue (though you sure wouldn’t know it, from how extremely heavily it’s focused on Parnell, Tracy, and Amy).
— Overall, such an epic, almost-perfect monologue. Between the Chanukah Song cold opening and this, tonight’s episode has been on FIRE. This has got to be one of the most exciting one-two punches an SNL episode has ever opened with in regards to cold openings and monologues.
STARS: ****½


WELCOME BACK, POTTER
grown-up Harry Potter (WLF) teaches Sweathogs at Hogwarts

— Hilarious twist with this Harry Potter piece unexpectedly turning into a random Harry Potter/Welcome Back, Kotter hybrid. The Kotter-esque opening credits are very funny.
— I like how the only cast members in this are all five of this season’s featured players (Fred, Dean, Will, Seth, and Jeff).
— Ending voice-over: “Due to legal action, Welcome Back, Potter may be called Honky In The Hood.”
— Back when this originally aired, I remember being disappointed that this Welcome Back, Potter bit ended after the opening credits, as I was anticipating those opening credits leading into a full-fledged Welcome Back, Potter sketch. In retrospect, I now realize that disappointment of mine was foolish, because a full Welcome Back, Potter sketch probably would’ve belabored the point, and the premise probably doesn’t have enough legs to sustain a full sketch. SNL made the right decision keeping this down to just an opening credits sequence.
STARS: ****


THE LEATHER MAN
The Leather Man sells pants to (host) as Choo-Choo (HOS) chases a snake

— Hoo, boy. THIS is our lead-off sketch tonight? Way to piss all over the great mood this episode had put me in before this point.
— Odd how the two episodes this sketch has appeared in were hosted by someone named Britney/Brittany.
— What the hell is with all the awkward long pauses between lines?
— And thus begins the obligatory gigglefest from Fallon & Sanz.
— Brittany’s acting in this is… rather odd, which is probably putting it kindly.
— I remember how much online SNL fans at this time kept raving about how supposedly hilarious the portion of this sketch with a screaming Horatio running around and destroying the set while having a snake biting his crotch was. Meh. To me, it’s half-funny and half-annoying. I’d probably find it much funnier if Horatio wasn’t so damn amused by himself during it, laughing at his own antics just as much as the audience and Jimmy is.
— Blah, the punchline at the end, with Jimmy calling 911 to report Horatio’s crotch snake bite and then responding to 911, “I have to put my mouth where?”, then telling Horatio, “Looks like you’re gonna die”, is one of the oldest jokes in the book. I remember how some of my fellow SNL reviewers back in 2002 gave credit to SNL for that “killer” punchline, apparently not being aware that SNL just took that punchline from an ancient, well-known joke.
— I still shudder at the fact that the great Tom Davis is the writer responsible for these Leather Man sketches. Come on, Tom, you’re much better than this. I can’t picture this being a sketch he would’ve had Aykroyd and Belushi doing back in the day.
STARS: **


DONAHUE
nonexistent viewership points to the death of liberalism

— This is the first time we’ve seen Darrell’s Phil Donahue impression in ages. Good to see it again, this time making fun of Donahue’s doomed MSNBC show.
— I like the Phil Donahue/Michael Moore conversation, with Jeff’s Michael Moore being asked details about his bathing and clothing habits. I’m especially laughing at Moore’s description of a “Mexican Shower”.
— Funny graphic of the lowest-rated shows in prime-time.
— I’m already laughing at the initial visual of Tracy as Al Sharpton.
— A good laugh from the entire commercial break only consisting of an MSNBC “Advertise your product here” graphic.
— The soft focus screen effect used on Maya’s Barbra Streisand is funny.
— The pre-taped scene with Darrell’s Donahue taking questions from a mostly-empty studio audience appears to have been taped in Conan O’Brien’s then-current Late Night studio (the last above screencap for this sketch). Also, the joke of Donahue taking questions from a mostly-empty studio audience was originally used in a brief piece from season 15, with Dana Carvey playing a German version of Donahue, named Donheiser.
— This sketch is starting to kinda run out of steam. The constant “People don’t like you” lines are too redundant, even if that’s the point.
STARS: ***


JARRET’S ROOM
fellow student (host) is wired on stimulants

— Jesus Christ, a SECOND Fallon/Sanz sketch tonight, and merely 10 minutes after we just had a Fallon/Sanz sketch? Speaking of which, why does Jarret’s Room always have to appear in the same episode that a Leather Man sketch appears in?
— The 80s bit with Seth’s DJ Jonathan Feinstein character is pretty funny.
— I guess Horatio hasn’t finished getting all of his giggles out from the Leather Man sketch earlier tonight, as his Gobi character is even more giggly tonight than he usually is. At least Horatio’s giggliness blends in well with his Gobi character, unlike his character in the Leather Man sketches.
— In light of the way that Brittany Murphy would tragically die in real life, it feels kinda disturbing now to look back on her playing such a “wired” character in this sketch, especially the part where her heart flat-out stops for a few seconds.
— Overall, a subpar Jarret’s Room installment, and one that aged poorly, due to the stuff with Brittany (though I don’t remember finding her appearance in this sketch funny even when this sketch originally aired).
STARS: **


PRESS CONFERENCE
Princess Di’s former butler Paul Burrell (SEM) denies he’s a homosexual

— This sketch appears to be live, but it was taped at dress rehearsal. One of the dead giveaways is that this is airing immediately after the preceding Jarret’s Room sketch, with no commercial break in between. It’s obviously not humanly possible for Seth to have changed from his DJ Jonathan Feinstein costume to his Paul Burrell costume in just 15 seconds.
— I sense a whole bunch of bad, hacky, stereotypical gay jokes coming up.
— Something about Steve Higgins’ whispery, professional voice-over is making me laugh, despite his weak dialogue making fun of Paul Burrell’s gayness.
— I like the “stuffy British person” facial expression that Rachel has throughout the entire sketch.
— Yep, this sketch is just going through a whole bunch of stereotypical gay cliches. Yawn. I do admit, though, to chuckling in spite of myself at the professional caption on the bottom of the screen that stated Seth’s Paul Burrell “received bad news from a drag queen”.
STARS: **


TENNIS TALK WITH TIME TRAVELING SCOTT JOPLIN
Scott Joplin (MAR) offers racquets & ragtime

— What an absolutely insane, oddball, and creative premise. I love it.
— Dean gets his first comedic role in ages, and of course, it’s just a drag role. Then again, Tracy and Maya are in drag too. Brittany’s the only performer in this sketch who’s playing a role that’s their own gender.
— I love the running bit with Maya’s Scott Joplin smugly playing a brief ragtime tune on the piano each time after he delivers a zinger to Brittany’s Anna Kournikova.
— Maya’s delivery and dialogue are fantastic here.
— Scott Joplin, after Anna Kournikova has angrily used the word ‘antiquated’: “Antiquated? That’s a big word, Russian Barbie.”
— Great sketch overall. As strong as this was, the second installment of this sketch that would appear the following season is even better, in my opinion.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Kelly Rowland [real] perform “Dilemma”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Drunk Girl fails to address link between memory & alcohol consumption

David Gest (CHK) & Liza Minnelli (MAR) explain reality show cancellation

— Tina, when realizing she has to introduce Drunk Girl: “Oh, no. Really? Okay.” That kinda matches my attitude towards the about-to-appear Drunk Girl, as so many of Drunk Girl’s Update appearances are the exact same as each other.
— Yep, so far, the same old Drunk Girl shtick. Not a single new thing to be found here. They might as well just play a video of one of her previous Update appearances. I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
— A funny and accurate prediction from Tina on how Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s marriage will be the last marriage for neither.
— Haha, boy, Jimmy’s Richard Gere gerbil joke got a HUGE audience reaction.
— Another Phil Collins bit between Jimmy and Tina, in the same vein of the one they did a few episodes prior. I still feel like I’m not quite in on the joke, but I laugh anyway at the sheer oddness of these bits.
— Maya and Kattan’s Liza Minnelli and David Gest impressions have returned. All I can say is, they’ll never top the solid Tony Bennett Show sketch they first appeared in.
— Yeah, this Minnelli/Gest commentary isn’t really working for me. That makes two subpar guest commentaries tonight.
STARS: ***


ASTRONAUT JONES
Astronaut Jones, (GAM), (musical guest) meet Queen Of The Zorgons (host)

— And I thought the Sandler/Schneider cameos earlier tonight were a treat. Now we get a very random, shocking, and awesome return of Garrett Fucking Morris! Amazing. I think this is the first time I’m reviewing Garrett since I last covered season 5, his final season on the show. I don’t think he’s ever made a cameo in a regular episode before now (not counting SNL’s anniversary specials or anything like that).
— A modification to the usual Astronaut Jones theme song has been made, as we now have a new addition of female backup vocals. Not sure what the point of that new addition is.
— The usual “Astronaut Jones makes dirty brief statements throughout the female alien’s long speech” gag is made even funnier tonight by Garrett and Nelly joining in on the dirty statements.
— Tracy kills as always when delivering his big punchline after the alien has finished her speech. His punchline tonight is possibly his dirtiest one yet in these Astronaut Jones sketches.
STARS: ****½


TV FUNHOUSE
“Religetables” by RBS- anthropomorphic plants show religion’s nasty side

— This is such a spot-on and funny Veggie Tales parody, with Robert Smigel using his cutting humor to skewer the way Veggie Tales presents religious events.
— So many funny little details, such as a potato baby being “circumcised” by having the potato skin around its crotch area be sliced off with a food knife, and an ear of corn falling into “hell”, which is just a cooking grill.
— A particularly funny part with a pickle priest holding a conference in which he admits to sexually abusing gherkins.
STARS: ****½


MY BIG THICK NOVEL BY JACK HANDEY
a square dancing mishap in chapter 589


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Hot In Herre”


SHE’S THE GIRL WITH NO GAYDAR!!!
Nicole, The Girl With No Gaydar meets lesbian counterpart (host) at party

— (*groan*) A third installment of this should’ve-stayed-one-and-done sketch? At least this thankfully this ends up being the final installment.
— I see that Maya has replaced Ana Gasteyer as the best friend of Rachel’s character.
— Blah, so far, tonight’s installment is the same old tired routine these Girl With No Gaydar sketches always do.
— Okay, I actually like the different direction this is now going, with Rachel’s character getting hit on by a lesbian.
— Ehh, the lesbian bit ended up not saving this sketch like I thought it would.
— Much like Maya replacing Ana’s role in these Gaydar sketches, I see Darrell has replaced Will Ferrell’s recurring role as the guy the camera cuts to at the end of these Gaydar sketches when Rachel asks “If these guys are gay, then what’s my (insert person she knows here) doing here?” Darrell seems out of place in this role. He’s no Ferrell when it comes to having the ability to steal sketches in a brief cutaway shot.
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— This episode had a very impressive number of absolutely fantastic things that are sure to make it into my end-of-season “Best Of” picks. However, this episode also had quite a number of misfires, which will surely drag down the rating average. However, the absolutely fantastic things in this episode were definitely strong enough to make up for the misfires.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Nia Vardalos)
a step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Robert DeNiro makes his then-highly anticipated hosting debut, and proceeds to let the entire SNL fandom down HARD

Posted on

November 9, 2002 – Nia Vardalos / Eve (S28 E5)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

REPUBLICAN MAJORITY
after midterm elections, George W. Bush (CHP) miscalculates GOP advantage

— (*sigh*) Whoever it was who originally recorded these copies that I watch of this season’s episodes must’ve REALLY hated Parnell’s Bush impression, because the two Parnell-as-Bush cold openings that I’ve covered so far have BOTH been missing their first few minutes in the copies I’m reviewing. Maybe it’s just a coincidence, but either way, this is getting really annoying.
— Thankfully, unlike the first time Parnell’s Bush appeared and did an address to the nation, we don’t have Darrell’s Dick Cheney pointlessly and awkwardly standing next to him the whole time. They also thankfully got rid of the unnecessary prosthetic nose Parnell wore as Bush last time.
— A decent math confusion bit with Bush.
— A laugh or two from Bush’s lines after the whole math bit is over.
— I continue to find Parnell’s Bush impression serviceable, and unlike last time, Parnell doesn’t seem to be aping Will Ferrell’s Bush impression as much. Unfortunately, I don’t think Parnell’s Bush ever rises above serviceable in any of his subsequent sketches. While “serviceable at best” isn’t exactly something SNL should be striving for, I sure as hell am not looking forward to what SNL will eventually replace Parnell’s Bush with: Darrell Hammond doing a Bush impression so fucking embarrassing that he makes Parnell look like Ferrell when it comes to playing Bush. I guess a little part of me honestly is kinda looking forward to shitting all over Darrell’s impression in my reviews.
— This cold opening is over already? Dammit, that must mean my copy is missing A LOT of this. Yeah, it definitely is, because now that I’m thinking of it, I remember a number of things in this opening that weren’t in the chunk that’s shown in my copy. Because of all of this, I can’t rate this fairly.
STARS: N/A


MONOLOGUE
host is greeted by TIF’s mom [real] & other Greek family members

— Right out of the gate, Nia Vardalos pulls a “Jonny Moseley” by starting to speak long before the opening audience applause has stopped. At least Moseley has an excuse for making that mistake, as he’s an athlete with no acting experience.
— Rachel is hilarious as one of the Greek relatives.
— That’s the whole monologue? Well, THAT certainly was short, and was barely even written. Nothing of substance happened in this. Considering the fact that Nia has a background in improv comedy, I’d rather they’d have done a monologue that let her show her comedic side more, rather than them just doing a lazy, cliched “Greeks have a lot of relatives” joke that just had Nia playing a dull straight man.
STARS: **


SWIFFER SLEEPERS
— Rerun from 10/12/02. Ugh, this commercial was insufferable enough the first time.
— This repeated commercial surprisingly ends up being the ONLY time we see Amy all night. She doesn’t appear during any of the new segments in tonight’s episode (not including the goodnights, where, from my memory of past viewings of this episode, I think you can spot her at the back of the stage, looking kinda lonely), which is very rare for her.


SUSHI BAR
at a sushi bar, Bloater brothers interest (host) but can’t close the deal

— I’m a defender of the Bloater Brothers, but it kinda doesn’t feel right for them to be placed in the lead-off sketch of the night.
— The setting and format of tonight’s Bloater Brothers installment feels like a re-write of the Bloater installment from the Julianna Margulies episode, and Nia is basically just playing the same character Margulies played.
— A good laugh from Parnell’s line about his enormous areolas.
— Overall, not much to say about this, but this was standard decent Bloater Brothers fare. This ends up being the last we’ll see of the Bloater Brothers until Jimmy’s final episode a year-and-a-half later, where we actually get some kind of conclusion to the Bloater Brothers storyline.
STARS: ***


CBS NEWS SPECIAL REPORT
Dan Rather (DAH) covers nerds’ surprising sweep of student council seats

 

— Seth’s “It was a tough week for sluts” line was pretty funny.
— As always, lots of funny one-liners from Darrell’s Dan Rather.
— That photo of Horatio as a cocky-looking jock is hilarious.
— Dan Rather: “That boy is cooler than Sister Mary Margaret’s nipples on a cool winter’s morning.”
— The audience is really into this sketch (which feels kinda rare to say this season), which is adding to the enjoyable atmosphere of this already good sketch.
— The cutaway to Fred as “the kid who wears the fedora” is one of the standout funniest single moments of this entire season, and a great early example of how much Fred could enhance a sketch even with a brief, silent appearance.
— Dan Rather, in regards to nerds being voted as student council: “The voters have spoken, and they have spoken in Klingon.”
STARS: ***½


BIKINI WAX
at a spa, it takes a while for (host) to finish giving (RAD) a bikini wax

— Nia’s been displaying some solid character voices so far tonight.
— A lot of great pained yelps from Rachel throughout her waxing.
— Nia, while looking down towards Rachel’s pubic area: “You have children?” Rachel: “Uh… no. Why?” Nia: “Never mind.”
— Rachel, after Nia suggests she gets one more waxing for her husband: “I don’t have a husband.” Nia: “I make room for one.”
— Great bit with Nia’s “crazy house” analogy.
— Nia: “Honey, you got Robin Williams’ forearms in your panties.”
— My god, the great lines from Nia keep coming all throughout this sketch.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Gangsta Lovin'”


WEEKEND UPDATE
JIF & TIF demonstrate machine that identifies people by the way they walk

in absentia, high school loser SEM gets drunk at his ten-year reunion

— Jimmy’s been having a rough night with his jokes so far tonight. His Katherine Harris joke was particularly terrible.
— The punchline to Tina’s “Red Lobster in Times Square” joke, about going down to Times Square and getting “crabs”, was already used earlier that week on Late Night With Conan O’Brien. I’m not claiming SNL stole it, though. After all, jokes about getting STDs from Times Square write themselves.
— Hmm, an interesting out-of-the-ordinary segment with Jimmy and Tina demonstrating a machine that identifies people by their walk.
— Some funny celebrity walking impressions from Jimmy. I particularly like his Michael Stipe walk, and the whole drunk walk thing.
— Tina’s punchline about a dog sniffing another dog’s balls was quite Norm Macdonald-esque.
— Tonight’s Update feels like a leftover season 26 Update, back in the days when Tina regularly out-performed Jimmy at the desk. In this season, on the other hand, it’s usually been the other way around, with Tina gradually going downhill and Jimmy gradually improving.
— Okay, Jimmy’s jokes tonight have been getting better.
— Promising bit with Seth enacting his own high school reunion that he’s currently missing. I like how out-of-the-ordinary this feels for an Update bit, much like the celebrity walking detector thing earlier.
— Hmm, just now, Seth has mentioned a quarterback at his acted-out high school reunion named Doug Stradley. The name Doug Stradley would later be used (as seen here) in a Weekend Update commentary that Seth would do in season 30, in which he plays a fictional fratboy named Doug Stradley talking about the presidential elections (which I recall felt like Seth was just doing an inferior knock-off of the fratboy character that Will Ferrell once famously played on Update, giving his thoughts about the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal). I’m guessing Seth has/had a friend in real life named Doug Stradley, which is why Seth keeps using his name in different bits.
— When enacting a phone call to his parents to come pick him up from his high school reunion, Seth angrily says “Yeah, I know MADtv is on. Tape it!” A funny subtle reference to Seth’s brother, Josh, being a cast member on MADtv at this time. I believe this ends up being the only MADtv mention ever made on SNL.
— Aside from the aforementioned MADtv line, I’m not finding myself laughing much during this Seth commentary. It’s mostly just bland, generic, un-creative comedy here, the type of comedy that I used to heavily associate with Seth before this SNL project has been making me reevaluate him as a cast member. His SNL tenure has been surprisingly pretty good so far, but his commentary tonight is the kind of generic blandness that I’m expecting to have shoved down my throat on a regular basis when I reach season 30, a season in which SNL unsuccessfully attempts to make Seth the male star of the show.
STARS: ***


THE FEREY MÜHTAR TALK SHOW
sidekick (DAH) is smitten by actress (host)

— Quite questionable that they’re bringing this sketch back. The only real reason the first installment worked was because of the classic mustache blooper with Darrell, and Ian McKellen and Horatio’s priceless ad-libs in response to the mustache blooper, all of which SNL will never be able to top in tonight’s installment. Also known as “Debbie Downer Syndrome”.
— Darrell’s character looks kinda different in tonight’s installment.
— I like the new addition of Fred and Kattan as Ferey Muhtar’s house band.
— The “banter” bit between Horatio and Darrell is funny.
— A good laugh from Darrell shamefully admitting that he can’t show one of the pages of Nia’s “sexy” calendar because he… ahem, “used” it.
— My goodwill towards this sketch is rapidly diminishing. After a decent first 2-3 minutes, this sketch has been going on and on, with just a whole bunch of back-and-forth arguing between Horatio, Darrell, and occasionally Nia, which are getting zero laughs from me. Yep, Debbie Downer Syndrome is clearly at play here. Should’ve kept this sketch one-and-done.
STARS: **


THE FALCONER
supposedly-loyal raptor Donald lives it up as The Falconer (WLF) ekes by

— Ladies and gentlemen, we have a major recurring character debut! And much like the last character I used that line for (Tim Calhoun), the major recurring character debuting tonight is one that I could not be more excited for.
— The opening title sequence in this first Falconer installment is a bit different from the one used in all of this sketch’s subsequent installments. Instead of the voice-over saying at one point, in regards to Will’s Ken Mortimer character, “Then, for reasons known only to him, he left his wife and career, and moved deep into the forest”, the voice-over actually goes into some detail about why he left his wife and career. Something to do with him finding a mysterious box in his home. I distinctly remember this original title sequence showing, at one point, a still photo of Will’s Ken Mortimer staring into a mysterious box while having a comically exaggerated open-mouthed shocked look on his face. However, I’m reviewing the rerun version of tonight’s episode, which replaces the original title sequence with the truncated version that’s used in all of the subsequent installments.
— Fantastic characterization from Will as usual.
— Hilarious scene with Donald the Falcon at a restaurant. I especially love his panicked reaction to the flame from the cherries jubilee.
— I recall some SNL fans at the time saying these Falconer sketches have a new-age Toonces feel, which makes me love these already-great Falconer sketches even more.
— The outlandish, extensive things Donald the Falcon is shown doing are great.
— A clever subtle reveal that Nia’s character is Ken Mortimer’s wife from before he left her and became The Falconer.
— Very funny how the meal that Donald the Falcon brings The Falconer back is a rat, after all the expensive gourmet food Donald had just treated himself to.
— Overall, a very strong debut of The Falconer. Will continues to be a new force to be reckoned with so early into his first season.
STARS: ****½


PIER 1 IMPORTS
Pier 1 Imports warns shoppers to beware of loony Kirstie Alley (host)

— A spot-on parody of Kirstie Alley’s Pier 1 ads, right down to perfectly recreating the visual style.
— Nia’s a dead ringer for Kirstie Alley here, and her insane, unsettling portrayal of Alley is hilarious.
— Funny turn with this ad being a warning from Pier 1 to customers about the dangers of Kirstie Alley, with tips on what to do to protect yourself if you ever come into contact with her.
— A good laugh from the visual of Nia shoving Horatio backwards into a shelf. I remember that practically killed me with laughter when this episode originally aired.
STARS: ****


DROPPING THE L.B.’S WITH MISSY E
Missy Elliott’s (TRM) exercise video contains impossible-to-mimic moves

— Kinda interesting seeing Tracy (in his first and only appearance all night) doing an updated version of the Missy Elliott impression that he last did years prior in the Jon Lovitz episode from season 23. Like Missy herself, Tracy lost a lot of weight since those days.
— I like Rachel’s un-street-like delivery about how she went out and got her “hurr did”.
— Overall, a fairly fun premise, and a lot of fairly fun performances, but I dunno, the overall sketch felt completely forgettable. It feels like SNL forgot to write actual jokes for most of this sketch. Either that, or there’s just not much comedy you can mine out of the concept of a Missy Elliott workout tape.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Irresistible Chick”


GLENDA GOODWIN, ATTORNEY AT LAW
personal injury lawyer Glenda Goodwin (MAR) specializes in weird cases

— The debut of Maya’s Glenda Goodwin character, who I remember being one of the main characters responsible for turning quite a number of online SNL fans against Maya over the course of this season.
— So far, Maya’s characterization isn’t bad in this sketch, and I’m enjoying the absurd humor here, with Glenda Goodwin’s serious treatment of unusual personal injury claims.
— Odd how this is the second consecutive sketch tonight that not only is showing testimonials from customers, but two of the testimonial-giving customers are Nia and Rachel. Hell, SNL might as well be using the same background walls for the testimonials in both sketches.
— Portions of Rachel’s testimonial being blatantly re-dubbed with Glenda Goodwin’s voice is pretty funny.
— Speaking of Rachel, I really love how she’s been getting tons of airtime these last few episodes, as well as some great showcase pieces (Game Night, Bikini Wax). Too bad this increase in airtime doesn’t end up lasting for her. Also, it feels like the more and more she’s appeared these last few episodes, the less and less Amy has appeared. I’m still in shock over Amy being shut out of the live show tonight.
STARS: ***½


COMMUNITY ACCENTS
Vasquez (HOS) stuns guests with inappropriate comments

— Horatio’s Vasquez Gomez-Vasquez character from Will Ferrell’s classic Show Your Patriotism sketch has gotten spun-off into his own sketch.
— Dean makes his first appearance in THREE EPISODES. I kid you not, folks. He was completely absent from the last two episodes. In fact, the last sketch he appeared in was the Making The Video sketch from the Sarah Michelle Gellar episode, in which he embarrassed himself on live TV by pretty much botching his scene. Perhaps having him sit out two consecutive episodes is his punishment for screwing up his appearance in that Making The Video sketch so badly. Ehh, probably not, but who knows? Either way, I really have to question how in the hell this guy made it to a second season on SNL.
— No idea what to say about this sketch. Horatio’s goofy characterization is kinda amusing, but this sketch itself is just plain dumb, and not always in the funny way. I think this Vasquez character works better as a supporting character, from what I remember of his subsequent appearances in those adult school sketches.
— I’ve seen some SNL fans compare this Vasquez character to the then-current Brian Fellow. In fact, I recall hearing that tonight’s Vasquez sketch was originally supposed to air in The Rock episode from the preceding season, which also contained a Brian Fellow sketch. I wonder if this Vasquez sketch got cut because SNL realized a Brian Fellow talk show sketch and a Vasquez talk show sketch in the same episode is too redundant.
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— This episode was kinda all over the place. Some strong things, some average things, some blah things. Never a consistent feel to the episode’s quality. Nia Vardalos was an impressive host, expertly doing a variety of funny characterizations and voices, blending well into the show, and coming off like an honorary cast member, which all makes sense, given her improv background.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Eric McCormack)
a slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Brittany Murphy

Posted on

November 2, 2002 – Eric McCormack / Jay-Z (S28 E4)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

ENDORSEMENT ADS
Rudolph Giuliani (DAH) grinds out ads for GOP candidates he barely knows

— I like the little detail of how the sentimental background music in these endorsement ads always keeps abruptly stopping to a halt whenever Darrell’s Rudy Giuliani starts going off-script by questioning what he just read.
— The whole part with a reluctant Giuliani being forced to talk about how much he supports Heinrich Himmler is hilarious. However, I gotta say, the concept of the real Rudy Giuliani supporting Heinrich Himmler doesn’t come off so far-fetched nowadays. (And that’s about as political as you’ll ever see me get in these reviews.)
— Funny bit with how one political ad Darrell’s Giuliani reads off turns out to be an answering machine message for some random family, which catches him off-guard.
— The bit with Giuliani being made to read off a list of syllables so they can be dubbed in to make their own messages reminds me of how some SNL fans used to suggest (jokingly or not, I don’t know) that SNL should make Don Pardo (back when he was still alive) do the same thing, so his voice will live on forever after his death.
— A pretty funny ending ad with Darrell’s Giuliani mouthing along to badly dubbed-in, mechanical-sounding syllables of his own voice.
— Very awkward silence after Darrell’s pre-taped “Live from New York…”. No audience applause or theme music follows his LFNY at first; just uncomfortable dead silence. Geez.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
host has trouble convincing audience members that he’s not gay

— A nice bouncy and energetic entrance from Eric McCormack, and I love how he asks the SNL Band to play the ending note again, which he proceeds to jump in time to.
— This monologue is basically just a gender-flipped version of Lucy Lawless’ monologue from season 24, where lesbian audience members (and some straight male audience members) kept asking Lawless lesbian-related questions.
— Boy, this one unseen guy in the audience has a VERY loud laugh that keeps standing out over the rest of the audience’s only-medium-level laughter throughout this monologue.
— Steve Higgins’ bit made me laugh out loud.
— Kattan shows up, addressing the famous gay rumors about himself while wearing his Mango clothes. I remember when this monologue originally aired, Kattan being dressed like that scared me into thinking we were getting a Mango sketch tonight. Thankfully, I was wrong.
— Pretty funny photo of Kattan with his wife, played by a scowling Paula Pell.
— At least Eric’s “manly” song is taking this into a different direction from Lucy Lawless’ monologue, but I’m not caring at all for this song.
STARS: **


THE BACHELOR
The Bachelor (host) picks ditzy hottie (MAR) instead of one-legged Amber

John Ritter, JIB, Bonnie Hunt inhabit Last-Chance Tuesdays on ABC

— The visual of Rachel in a hot tub while holding a plate of cooked meat up to Eric has shades of The Luvahs.
— Maya, to one-legged Amber: “At least I have two legs.” Amber: “At least I have two self-respects!”
— Maya’s ditziness is pretty funny.
— A laugh from Amber suddenly passing out unconscious right in the middle of bragging about how “hot” her hypoglycemia is.
— The brief “Last Chance Tuesdays” ABC commercial was absolutely hilarious, skewering the attempts at new sitcoms by Bonnie Hunt, John Ritter, and SNL’s own Jim Belushi. Who would’ve guessed at this time that According To Jim would end up lasting so many damn seasons?
— The Bachelor portions of this sketch are getting old. This sketch peaked so much with the unrelated “Last Chance Tuesdays” ad that it makes the remainder of this sketch pale in comparison. And I think Amy’s Amber character has finally reached that inevitable point where I’m starting to get kinda tired of her shtick, especially the farting nonsense.
STARS: **½


GAME NIGHT
losing at a party game causes ultra-competitive (RAD) to go on a rampage

— After such a serious set-up with a straightforward, joke-less first minute-and-a-half, we get a great turn with Rachel’s unexpected angry outburst.
— Rachel’s increasingly maniacal competitive attitude is very funny.
— Rachel: “Who the balls put Felix Mendelssohn?!?”
— We now get an epic and hilarious meltdown from Rachel, tearing the house apart, crashing through the wall (and leaving a human-shaped hole in the wall), and going insane outdoors while screaming and running around.
— Great detail of a now-frightened Eric rocking back and forth when Rachel speechlessly returns to the house after her meltdown.
— Overall, a very strong sketch and one of Rachel’s all-time best performances.
STARS: ****½


TALARICO FOR CONGRESS
Andrew Talarico (CHK) to voters- “tell Ellen Frankel (RAD) to stop lying”

— Uh… okay. I went through this whole mock attack ad without laughing a single time. There’s “spoofing something while using understated, low-key humor”, and then there’s “being so close to the source material it’s spoofing that you can’t find the joke”.
STARS: *


FRANKEL FOR CONGRESS
Ellen Frankel retaliates by asking voters to call Andrew Talarico

— Two of these attack ads in a row?
— The footage of Kattan’s character is actually from the cold opening of season 26’s Val Kilmer episode, in which Kattan played Al Gore’s lawyer.
— I get what this ad is going for, but ehhh, it’s not working too well for me. I am liking this second ad a little better than the first, though.
— I’m getting unwanted flashbacks to this season’s Sarah Michelle Gellar episode with how dead the audience is during these attack ads.
STARS: **


AMERICAN MORNING WITH PAULA ZAHN
Paula Zahn (TIF) & new co-anchor (host) fall in love

— I believe this is the very first instance of Tina starring in a sketch as either a character or a celebrity impression, instead of as herself. I remember what a shocking sight this was at the time.
— Wow, Rachel has been everywhere so far in tonight’s episode, which is nice to see.
— A good laugh from the sudden “Are we in love?” turn from out of nowhere.
— Okay, after the initially-funny “Are we in love?” turn, I don’t like where this sketch is going.
— Yeah, it’s now two minutes later, and I haven’t been laughing at all. This sketch is pure blah.
— Ugh, enough with Tina and Eric passionately kissing each other. If SNL is expecting these kisses to get a whole bunch of “Woo!”s from the audience, it’s not working, as the audience is DEAD SILENT during these kissing sessions, which just makes it uncomfortable to me. By the way, some of the audience members from the aforementioned Sarah Michelle Gellar episode must’ve returned tonight, as there have been a few things in tonight’s episode that have been met with eerie silence, including Darrell’s pre-taped “Live from New York” at the end of the cold opening. Actually, as I said in my review of this season’s first episode, sketches and certain moments receiving uncomfortable silence from the audience is a bit of a theme this season, which adds to the “off” feeling of this season. While silence from audiences this season would never again get as bad as it was in the Sarah Michelle Gellar episode, I do remember the Jeff Gordon episode that’s coming up later this season having a somewhat tough audience.
STARS: *½


FAIRNESS IN NEGATIVE ATTACK ADS
Andrew Talarico’s follow-up anti-Frankel ad reaches new level of negation

— The increasingly convoluted messages of these attack ads (e.g. “Call Ellen Frankel to tell her to stop asking voters to call Andy Talarico to tell him to stop asking them to call her… etc.”) are not working much for me. They’re eliciting a minor smirk at best.
— I got one actual laugh just now, from the non-sequitur gag of a “J.Lo: I want Ben’s babies” headline being shown as a newspaper snippet example.
STARS: **


SIDE NOTE: The “torn edges” border used in some of this season’s bumper photos of hosts and musical guests reminds me so much of the bumper photo format from the early 90s. (some side-by-side comparisons below)


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Lenny Kravitz [real] perform “Guns & Roses”


WEEKEND UPDATE
belabored puns in Gene Shalit’s (HOS) movie reviews make no sense

atop the newsdesk, toddler rapper Baby K (JER) gets the party started

— Hmm, New York was then-recently chosen to host the 2012 Olympics? What ever happened to that? Didn’t the 2012 Olympics end up being held in London?
— Meh, another Gene Shalit Update commentary.
— Horatio-as-Shalit’s barrage of corny puns are doing NOTHING for me, not even in a “So bad, it’s good” way.
— Okay, I’m starting to get some chuckles from Shalit’s puns.
— Aaaaaand there goes the obligatory Fallon/Sanz gigglefest, where Horatio makes himself and Jimmy laugh far more than he makes me laugh. As bad as this is, the dress rehearsal version of this Gene Shalit commentary that’s shown in reruns features even worse Fallon/Sanz giggling.
— Tina, in an ad-libbed aside after the Gene Shalit gigglefest commentary has ended: “We’ve lost complete control.” Truer words have never been spoken.
— A very odd Phil Collins bit between Jimmy and Tina, but I kinda liked it, even though I feel like it might be spoofing something I’m not familiar with.
— What was with the very brief accidental cut to Tina when Jimmy was about to start the next joke? That gaffe receives extended laughter from the audience.
— Jeff attempts a new character, Baby K. And, hoo boy, this is absolutely not working for me. AT. ALL. The “comedy” here is fucking cringeworthy, and this is coming off like a rejected character from Nickelodeon’s “All That” or some shit. (Not to diss All That too much. Like most 90s kids, that show is a huge part of my childhood.) Hell, the occasional technical glitches with the superimposing effect on Jeff are more interesting than anything in the actual bit itself.
— And THAT’S how this Update ends? With that mind-numbingly god-awful Baby K bit? Boy, this overall Update was kind of a mess, which sadly continues the decline in quality that this season’s Updates have been taking.
STARS: **


BULLHORN
lax judge (WLF) is slow to yank contemptuous defendant’s (host) bullhorn

— Great to see Will having another big showcase after breaking out in the last episode with his Tim Calhoun debut.
— The absurdity of this sketch is really working for me. I’d like to think Will wrote this sketch himself. Not only because he has a co-starring role in it, but because the oddball writing and dialogue is very much in his wheelhouse and has a specific Forte-type feel.
— All of Will’s various responses to Eric’s ruthless bullhorn sounds are freakin’ hilarious, made even funnier by the grim, sluggish delivery Will’s using. He has me practically on the floor throughout this sketch.
— Funny turn with Eric now playing musical tones on his bullhorn instead of just generic horn sounds.
— Yeah, the more I listen to this dialogue, the more I’m convinced that Will had to have written this. Or at the very least, perhaps the writing team of Slovin & Allen wrote this, as they would prove to have a knack for tapping into Will’s oddball qualities and utilizing them perfectly (the soon-to-debut Falconer sketches).
— Very funny turn with Will surprisingly ruling Eric “not guilty” just because, as he tells Eric, “I like the cut of your jib.” Such a priceless line.
— I love the ending, with Eric IMMEDIATELY following Will’s generous “not guilty” ruling of him by playing the annoying bullhorn sounds once again, quickly diminishing Will’s goodwill towards him, leading to him sternly telling Eric during the sketch-ending audience applause, “Mr. Marshall, I’m trying to HELP you.”
— Overall, such a great absurd sketch that’s probably forgotten by most SNL fans after all these years. Only four episodes into his SNL tenure, and only two big roles for him so far, and Will is ALREADY emerging as a champion and a dependable performer in this shaky season.
STARS: ****½


VERIZON
Ellen Frankel encourages voters to call Andrew Talarico’s home phone

— Aaaaaaand these have officially gotten old. Enough of these, before they go the route of those insufferable Corona ads from earlier this season, where I have to contemplate giving out negative stars in my rating.
STARS: *


Z105
voiceplay of morning deejay Joey Mack (JIF) victimizes politician (host)

— Meh, the debut of these Z105 sketches, which I am NOT eager about revisiting. All I remember from these is nothing but idiotic, juvenile bathroom humor.
— So far in tonight’s installment, Jimmy is at least showcasing a nice and fun range of different voices that he’s constantly going back and forth between.
— Aaaaaand there’s all that idiotic, juvenile humor I mentioned earlier. Not caring for this.
— Ugh, and there goes the “He pooped his pants” routine, the bane of these Z105 sketches, and the main thing I’ve always remembered about hating in these.
STARS: **


JOHN HANCOCK LIFE INSURANCE
alarmist scenario demonstrates need for coverage

— At least we’re getting a different pre-taped commercial from those tedious and unfunny political attack ads.
— Yet another role for Rachel tonight. I’m very happy to see her being so heavily utilized in this episode, after how underused she’s been for most of this season.
— Rachel and Eric’s dead-serious discussion of absurd things like knife-wielding hobos and sex in a Waffle House parking lot is pretty funny, as is the accompanying disclaimers on screen about such things.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Beyonce [real] perform “’03 Bonnie & Clyde”


JACKASS THE MUSICAL
stunts meet songs when show-offs perform showtunes

— Funny concept of a musical for the then-recently-released Jackass The Movie, of all things.
— The unintentional delayed timing from the guy in the panda bear costume tackling Seth gets a laugh from the audience (and Eric). I can’t help but wonder if it’s a giggling Horatio Sanz inside that panda bear costume. That would certainly explain some things.
— Parnell’s ending voice-over, regarding Jackass The Musical: “Just like your favorite musicals of the past… only with puking.”
— This overall sketch kinda fizzled out towards the end a bit, despite the fun nature of the whole sketch.
STARS: ***


STORIES
(MAR) embarrasses bar patron (TRM) by debunking his braggadocio

— Another Tracy/Maya semi-dramatic slice-of-life sketch.
— I’m surprised that Tracy is just NOW making his first and only appearance all night, all the way at the very end of the show. His airtime had been doing well this season. Oh, well, at least his appearance here is still a lead role, one that utilizes his distinct performance style well.
— Tracy’s embellished stories and Maya subsequently setting the record straight on what really went down in Tracy’s stories are pretty solid. And I love the general atmosphere of this sketch. It makes this feel like a scene from a movie or something.
— A good cheap laugh from Maya’s line about Tracy leaving “serious streaks in his drawers”.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A mediocre episode. While there were two truly great things tonight, one being a strong Rachel Dratch showcase and the other being a forgotten-but-delightful early-era Will Forte piece, they were surrounded by a lot of meh and a few outright terrible things.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (John McCain)
a big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Nia Vardalos

Posted on

October 19, 2002 – Senator John McCain / The White Stripes (S28 E3)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

IRAQI STATE TELEVISION
on election day, Iraqi TV covers Saddam Hussein’s overwhelming victory

— Pretty funny concept of showing Iraq’s election, with Saddam Hussein facing off against nobody.
— Solid bit with Maya leading us through the “confusing” ballot.
— Funny picture of a horrified Fred and Seth as two “no-voters”.
— Wait, Horatio is Saddam now? Wasn’t Darrell just given the Saddam role in the preceding episode? Man, things haven’t been going too well for Darrell this season so far, between having his Bush impression (rightfully) yanked away from him before it could even make it on the air in the season premiere, and now him having his Saddam impression yanked away from him after it’s made it on the air.
— Hilarious detail of “We Built This City” being Saddam’s campaign song.
— Horatio’s goofy portrayal of Saddam is fine as a one-time thing here, but I don’t think I’m going to care too much for it as a soon-to-be recurring impression.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
Fericito gives host tips on how to improve his comedic delivery

— Early on this monologue, John McCain is immediately displaying a likability and a good sense of humor.
— Fericito already becomes recurring, after debuting only two episodes ago. I wonder if this is a record for the earliest in a featured player’s tenure that a character of theirs has become recurring.
— When Fericito first enters this monologue, a few stray pieces of confetti can be seen falling from above, which is apparently left over from the end of the cold opening when Horatio’s Saddam was giving his victory speech.
— John’s attempt at imitating Fericito’s goofy facial expression is hilarious (the last above screencap for this monologue).
— Good bit with John giving Fericito a serious speech denouncing the stereotyping of Latin-American culture. Also a good sudden turn when he reveals that he was “just keeeediiiiiing!”
— Despite being one-note, Fericito continues to be fun… for now. Unless there’s a nice, long gap between this monologue and Fericito’s next appearance, I’m sure I’ll get tired of this character pretty soon.
— Interesting ending with John wrapping up the monologue while SNL’s costumers are getting him dressed into his costume for the next sketch, while the green screen for that sketch is being set up behind him (screencap below).

I’m always a sucker for rare times when monologues end by showing the host getting into costume for the next sketch (e.g. Bill Hader’s season 43 monologue).
STARS: ***


HARDBALL
John Ashcroft (host) & Harry Belafonte (TRM) say crazy things

— A new opening title sequence for these Hardball sketches.
— John is giving a solid performance as John Ashcroft, and he has plenty of great lines.
— I love Darrell-as-Chris-Matthews’ eagerness to hear his guests spout off crazy statements.
— A huge laugh from Tracy’s Harry Belafonte flat-out stating “Osama Bin Laden is an Uncle Tom!”, as well as Chris Matthews’ response to that: “Good God, I can’t even figure out who that’s offensive to.”
— Ashcroft’s line about Shaquille O’Neal being a terrorist sleeper agent because he once did a “Middle Eastern-flavored” movie titled Kazaam is great.
— So many laughs from Belafonte spitting out batshit insane one-liners on cue, such as “Poodles are the black man of the dog world!” and “Pokemon’s a slave trader, Pikachu’s a slave master!”
— Priceless closing line from Rachel, claiming that blowing up one embassy doesn’t make someone a terrorist, just as baking one cake doesn’t make someone a baker, or painting one painting doesn’t make someone a painter.
— Chris Matthews: “(singing to the tune of “Banana Boat Song”) Crazo, craaaazo, Belafonte is a crazy mofo”
— Overall, this has got to be the crème de la crème of Hardball sketches. As many great Hardball installments as there are over the years, I can’t think of any that equal this outstanding installment.
STARS: *****


TO LOVE, HONOR AND STALK: THE GILLIAN WOODWARD STORY
feminist Lifetime Original Movie demonizes invasion of personal space

real-life personal space invadee (RAD) says it actually was no big deal

— The overly-long opening disclaimer read by Jim Downey is giving me bad flashbacks to that parody that SNL did of The Real World in the Shannen Doherty episode from season 19, though the disclaimer in tonight’s sketch is probably an accurate parody of disclaimers in Lifetime’s movies.
— I like the actor credits displayed on the bottom of the screen during Amy’s opening scene, especially the credits for random actors who are Lifetime movie staples (e.g. Valerie Bertinelli, Nancy McKeon).
— So far, this is a spot-on and fun parody of Lifetime movies, especially Maya’s cliched dialogue as the best friend of the main character.
— John is priceless in this creepy stalker role, perfectly playing the type of character you’d never expect to see him play.
— At the beginning of the shower scene, a technical gaffe occurs in which there’s an accidental cutaway to a shot of a police station (which is supposed to be shown later in the sketch). This is the second consecutive episode with a gaffe of that nature, after one of the Corona commercials in the preceding episode was interrupted by an accidental cutaway to a plain black screen with the words “Corona #2”.
— John’s line “Shall I loofah your back?” is hilarious, and has always been my favorite part of this sketch.
— Some good laughs from the very questionable examples Amy lists off of how her husband “stalks” her.
— Funny visual of John sitting obnoxiously close to Amy in the courtroom’s witness box, with his face pressed up against hers.
— A decent post-movie scene with Rachel as the real Gillian Woodward.
STARS: ****


WAKE UP WAKEFIELD!
visual arts teacher (host) is a former hippie

— Rachel’s been getting good airtime tonight, which is refreshing after how underused she was in the first two episodes of this season.
— The Halloween costumes are adding a bit of a nice change to this sketch.
— John continues to be a very fun host tonight, this time perfectly playing a hippie burnout teacher.
— Rachel’s Sheldon has a lot of funny lines throughout tonight’s installment, especially the one about accidentally getting paint on the front seat of his mom’s new Volvo.
— A good laugh from John bringing out jack-o-lanterns made to resemble the original Steely Dan lineup, which prompts yet another funny line from Sheldon: “That’s a dead-on Donald Fagen.”
— Hmm, Horatio is playing his recurring teacher character in a much lower-key manner than usual tonight.
— Jimmy’s Randy Goldman character makes a passing mention of a classmate named Gerard Bradford, which is an inside reference, as Gerard Bradford is one of Jimmy’s real-life best friends since his school days, IIRC.
STARS: ***½


TV FUNHOUSE
“The Third Leg Of Justice” by RBS- trap set for The Ambiguously Gay Duo

— Our first full-fledged Ambiguously Gay Duo cartoon in three seasons (not counting Ace and Gary’s cameo in an X-Presidents cartoon in season 27), and our last Ambiguously Gay Duo cartoon until years later in season 33’s LeBron James episode, not counting the Best Of TV Funhouse special that would air in 2006.
— I like how Big Head’s unending obsession with Ace and Gary’s alleged gayness always gets questioned by his fellow villains.
— Ace and Gary’s interpretive dancing to the Five For Fighting song “Superman” is hilarious.
— A funny random bit with a disclaimer explaining why the hell former G.E. chairman Jack Welch has suddenly shown up in this.
— During the ending credits of this TV Funhouse, former SNL writer Adam McKay is credited with writing an additional joke.
STARS: ***½


MEET THE PRESS
host repeatedly denies that he’s running for president

— Darrell-as-Tim-Russert’s endless attempts to get John to say he wants to run for president in 2004 are very funny.
— I love how the ridiculousness has now gotten to the point where Russert asks John if he’s willing to run for president of Iraq.
— Tim Russert, to John, regarding President Bush in the 2004 elections: “What if he forgets to run?”
— John’s response to Russert’s above-quoted line about Bush: “I would call the president and remind him to run.”
— A very funny crazy hypothetical scenario from Russert, regarding if John would be willing to run against a re-animated Jimmy Carter zombie in 2028 if genetic engineering could extend the human lifespan. (I’ll just ignore the fact that John ended up not coming close to experiencing the year 2028.)
— Such a strong sketch overall. And between Hardball and this, Darrell’s been having his best night since the Calista Flockhart episode from season 26.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground”


WEEKEND UPDATE
soft-spoken candidate Tim Calhoun (WLF) proffers oddball initiatives

— While Tina’s long opening rant was a step up from her god-awful Seattle rant from the preceding episode, it was still meh. Tina has really not been herself this season so far.
— Who is that doing the off-camera voice of a singing Saddam Hussein during Jimmy’s Saddam/American Idol joke? It sounds like a woman. Is that Tina herself doing the voice while off-camera?
— Further proof that we’re in the early stages of Tina’s decline as an anchorperson: her preachy, clapter-inducing AIDS joke was cringeworthy.
— Ladies and gentlemen, we have a major recurring character debut! Wow, it’s seriously been a long time since I last used that line. I think the last time was way back in season 25. In retrospect, I probably should’ve used it when covering Fericito’s debut a few episodes ago, but it had been so long since I last used the line that I completely forgot about it until now.
— So great to see Will Forte not only finally getting his very first big role, but having his very first big role be Tim Calhoun, one of my all-time favorite SNL characters.
— Will’s voice, delivery, and panicked facial expression as this character are absolutely PRICELESS. Hell, even the detail of his hand mannerisms while speaking is great.
— Tim Calhoun is having so many hilarious random one-liners and revelations about himself. I especially like the mention of him having a “China baby”.
— Tim Calhoun: “America needs another big lake.”
— Overall, Will knocked it completely out of the park in his first big showcase, and he killed with the audience. A very promising sign of the greatness Will is going to be unleashing on us throughout his SNL tenure. I remember when tonight’s episode originally aired, this Tim Calhoun debut alone immediately made me a Forte fan, which I have yet to stop being to this day, 18 years later.
— Pretty funny ending joke from Tina, regarding a news story about a man having sex with a pumpkin.
STARS: ***


MCCAIN SINGS STREISAND
host turns the tables by mangling Barbra Streisand’s standards

— John once again showing what a great sport he is.
— A lot of laughs from John’s monotone, off-key, tone-deaf singing of Barbra Streisand songs.
— An excellent reveal of why John’s doing this: “I’ve been in politics for over 20 years, and for over 20 years, I’ve had Barbra Streisand try her hand at my job. So I’ve decided to try her job.”
— I love John’s vibrating moves while singing “Papa Can Your Hear Me”, and then following it up with a perfect aside to the camera: “Pretty annoying, huh? Now you know how *I* feel.”
STARS: ****½


MY BIG THICK NOVEL BY JACK HANDEY
a cannibalism dilemma in chapter 619


TOP O’ THE MORNING
moody Patrick (JIF) & William (SEM) on Irish TV

— This sketch makes its debut.
— IIRC, this ends up being the only installment of this sketch where Seth wears a leather jacket over the sweater that he would always wear in these sketches.
— Right out the gate, this sketch feels like something straight out of Mike Myers’ playbook. I can totally picture Mike starring in this sketch (kinda like what I once said about Jimmy’s Nick Burns character). In fact, Mike actually did star in a recurring sketch similar to this. Scottish Soccer Hooligans Weekly, anyone?
— Jeff unfortunately makes his only appearance of the entire night in a very small role that fell pretty flat.
— This sketch is even featuring mechanical, by-the-numbers catchphrases, a staple of many a Mike Myers recurring sketch.
— The aping of Mike Myers (whether intended or unintended) continues even further, as Jimmy and Seth are now doing a “Not here, not now” routine when they try to fight back a crying outburst, which is awfully reminiscent of Mike’s “I’m feelin’ a little verklempt” routine whenever his Linda Richman character would get teary-eyed.
— Very funny goofy Irish accent from John. He’s adding a much-needed fun vibe to this otherwise extremely derivative sketch.
— A good laugh from the disturbing passage John reads about eating an eye.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “We’re Going To Be Friends”


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Pretty much a perfect episode. Okay, the Top O’ The Morning sketch was fairly weak and derivative, but John McCain made it fun enough. Other than that, this episode was not only filled with wall-to-wall solid sketches, but some of them were particularly strong standouts that’ll definitely be going into my end-of-season “Best Of” picks. And John McCain was truly a phenomenal host, especially considering his lack of acting experience. He was wonderful in every single sketch he appeared in. Overall, this episode was such a great turnaround from the worrisome preceding Sarah Michelle Gellar episode. I recall it being said that Lorne was so displeased with the Gellar episode (and I think the preceding Matt Damon episode as well) that, sometime after the Gellar episode aired, Lorne held a tense meeting in which he chewed out the SNL cast and writing staff, and ordered them to get their act together. That stern chewing-out must’ve been what helped lead to such a strong show this week. Unfortunately, it doesn’t last. While this season thankfully doesn’t turn out to be the season 20-like disaster year that the Gellar episode had a lot of us SNL fans at the time worried it would, the assuring solidness of tonight’s McCain episode also doesn’t lead to a stable season like it had a lot of us at the time hoping it would. This would go on to be a shaky season.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Sarah Michelle Gellar)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Eric McCormack

Posted on

October 12, 2002 – Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill (S28 E2)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
George W. Bush (CHP) notifies Saddam Hussein of impending regime change

— Parnell has now officially succeeded Will Ferrell as SNL’s Bush impersonator, after Darrell’s failed attempt at a Bush impression in the preceding episode’s dress rehearsal was given a hard pass by Lorne and got cut from the live show.
— The copy I’m reviewing of this episode is missing the first minute or so of this cold opening, which includes, at one point, SNL lampshading the new casting of Bush by having Parnell’s Bush say “I know what you’re thinking: I do look different. One word: Botox.”
— I believe this ends up being the only Parnell-as-Bush sketch in which Parnell wears a prosthetic nose. Not sure what the point of the prosthetic nose is anyway, as it adds nothing to the resemblance to Bush.
— Darrell’s Dick Cheney only seems to be there as security for viewers while we witness this debut of a new Bush impression. You know, I don’t know about other viewers, but I certainly don’t need Darrell’s Cheney as a security blanket to help baby-walk me through the “frightening” experience of seeing a new Bush impression. I’ll be just fine, thank you.
— Not too bad of a Bush impression from Parnell, though it certainly doesn’t make you forget Will Ferrell’s impression. Parnell’s impression is a bit more loose and less stiff than I had remembered it being.
— Cheney’s line about Cheech Marin being a Saddam Hussein lookalike is pretty funny.
— Parnell’s Bush has some okay lines throughout this. Nothing particularly noteworthy or memorable, but passable.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
vampires (CHK), (RAD), (AMP) are offended by host’s joke about slaying

— Amy’s vampire daughter character whining “I wanted to bite the Jimmy Fallon!” is pretty funny.
— A few chuckleworthy lines from Kattan throughout this, but a lot of this monologue isn’t anything special.
— This overall monologue was a complete waste of Sarah Michelle Gellar. Sure, the same could be said for Sarah’s season 24 monologue (and I did say that in my review of it), in which she just stood there while cast member after cast member hit on her, but at least that was still a funny and somewhat memorable monologue nevertheless. Tonight’s monologue, on the other hand, was nothing special at all, and, aside from the Buffy The Vampire Slayer connection, could’ve been done with ANY generic female host. Why have Sarah Michelle Gellar up there onstage doing pretty much nothing while the audience vampires get all of the “funny” material? Sarah has proven in the past that she’s perfectly capable of carrying great material on SNL.
STARS: **


SWIFFER SLEEPERS
kids in dirt-collecting pajamas clean by sliding around

— Blah, a weak, cheesy, and unfunny visual gag to base an entire fake ad around.
— This ad is way too cutesy for my likes, and the alleged “comedy” isn’t enough to balance out the saccharine cutesiness.
— I know Amy’s just imitating the general demeanor of moms you see in typical real commercials of this type, but there’s something sad about watching her overly-cutesy, cloying performance in this. I remember how, at this time, this commercial was one of the first things that made it sadly official to me that UCB-era Amy Poehler was a very different performer from SNL-era Amy Poehler.
— This fake ad ends with absolutely NO applause from the audience. If it’s because they didn’t like this ad (I certainly don’t recall hearing them laughing at ANY point during this), then I 100% support them on that.
STARS: *


SAFETY DAY
Be-Safe Gang’s (FRA), (AMP), (host) supposed street smarts are bad advice

— Due to the fact that the preceding fake ad went into this sketch with no audience applause, Parnell seemed a little hesitant and unsure of when to start delivering his first line. However, his first line, “And that was why the Indians deserved it”, was great, but, again, got NOTHING from the audience.
— Fred Armisen playing a character with his own first name. That may be because this sketch is based off of a comedy bit that Fred used to do pre-SNL.
— Amy’s whole sponge/ecstasy bit is hilarious.
— I like the obviously made-up terms that Sarah claims to the students that they can supposedly catch, such as “genital diabetes” and “crotch botchulism”.
— Fred bitterly telling Rachel “I hope you get assaulted every day for the rest of your life” is very funny.
— Fred’s bad demonstrations of “safe” ways to protect yourself against attackers are fantastic, particularly the pen-in-the-trigger bit. You can tell that the material he’s performing in this sketch is something he’s honed in his comedy act prior to SNL, because his execution of his portions of this sketch are coming off more polished and assured than than Amy and Sarah’s are (though they’re both fine in this).
STARS: ****


DENTIST
music enraptures inept romantic as he fantasizes about being a dentist

— A variation of Kattan’s Masseuse sketch from the preceding season’s Derek Jeter episode. Speaking of the Masseuse sketch, I forgot to point out in my review of it that Kattan’s character in it was apparently the same character he played in the seductive dancing/music sketches from the Teri Hatcher and Renee Zellweger episodes. The SNL episode guide that I borrow my sketch synopses from call this recurring character “inept romantic”. SNL Archives, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to think Kattan’s characters in these sketches are the same.
— I didn’t care for the Masseuse sketch, and so far, I’m not caring for this Dentist sketch either. In fact, this dentist sketch is coming off even worse to me.
— The fantasy-within-a-fantasy twist ending was very weak, and (rightfully) received absolute silence from the audience (once again tonight).
— A surprisingly fairly short sketch, but I’m certainly glad it’s over with, because I didn’t enjoy a moment of this.
STARS: *


TRANS AMERICAN AIRLINES
Trans American Airlines is proud to ensure security via racial profiling

— A lot of laughs from this airline proudly touting their new racial profiling procedure as their way of screening passengers.
— The way this is being played so perfectly straight and dry makes the brilliant and funny material even more brilliant and funny.
— Tracy, on the claim that the terrorists have won when airlines use racial profiling: “Why would terrorists want racial profiling? That’s how you catch ’em.”
STARS: ****½


CORONA
Corona drinker Craig (JIF) is full of beer & Miles Away From Sober

— An odd and unfunny commercial so far. I remember the Corona commercials that this is spoofing, but this spoof isn’t working at all.
— What makes this commercial even odder is the fact that Jimmy’s girlfriend is voiced by Amy but is physically played by a female extra (only shown from the back). I don’t understand that AT ALL. Why not have Amy physically playing the role? Or if you’re gonna have a female extra play the role, then why not have her saying her own dialogue instead of inexplicably dubbing Amy’s voice in for her?
— Overall, boy, was this lame. I went through this entire commercial without a single laugh. The audience apparently agrees with my negative opinion once again tonight, as I didn’t hear a single laugh from them during this commercial either, for the billionth time tonight.
STARS: *


LOOKALIKES
Saddam Hussein (DAH) seeks self-preservation by sacrificing look-alikes

— Darrell has become SNL’s new Saddam Hussein impersonator in the post-Ferrell era. That doesn’t last long, though.
— Kattan has been all over tonight’s episode so far. Maybe SNL felt bad about how very little he did in the preceding week’s season premiere, and are trying to make up for it tonight.
— Horatio’s walk-on as an extremely slobbish, morbidly obese Saddam “lookalike” is cracking me up.
— Horatio milks his exit by trying to make Jimmy laugh as usual.
— I could do without this turning into a cliched parody of the “How am I funny?” Goodfellas scene. Pure laziness.
STARS: **½


CORONA
Corona drinker Craig once again throws a bottle into the ocean by mistake

— (*groan*) A second one of these?
— Yikes, this already-dead commercial is made even more awkward by a bad technical error early on, in which Jimmy’s attempt to answer his phone gets interrupted by an accidental cutaway to a plain black screen with the words “Corona #2” (screencap below), producing a few seconds of dead air. Awkward as hell.

— Oh, how utterly hilarious. Jimmy drunkenly throws his beer bottle into the ocean AGAIN, because it was such a laugh riot when he did it in the first Corona ad. [/end sarcasm]
— Overall, this ad was even less funny than the first Corona ad, if that’s even possible . The complete lack of audience laughter during these Corona ads, as well as the lack of actual funny material, make me forget I’m watching a spoof and feel more like I’m watching the actual Corona commercials it’s spoofing.
STARS: * (If I could give out negative stars, I would here)


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Cry”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Dell Computer dude Steven’s (SEM) chipper demeanor belies his depression

TIF celebrates the blow dealt to the Jewish Federation Of Greater Seattle

Ramada sisters (MAR) & (host) describe life in the B-list celebrity scene

 

— As someone who used to absolutely HATE those “Dude, you’re gettin’ a Dell” commercials back when they originally aired, I remember how excited I was during the original airing of tonight’s episode to see SNL portraying the guy from those commercials and skewering his annoyingness and camera-mugging.
— Pretty good turn during the Dell Computer Guy’s commentary, with his doctor showing up and informing us of the Dell Computer Guy’s many psychological disorders.
— Tina’s overall rant about the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle did not work for me AT ALL. Unlike most of her traditional Update rants, this one was way too silly and exaggerated for my likes, and most importantly, it wasn’t the least bit funny.
— Jimmy occasionally doing a Norm Macdonald-type delivery and punchline to a joke seems to be a new thing this season, as his yodelers joke tonight was another Norm-esque bit, much like Jimmy’s smallpox joke in the season premiere. I don’t know if these Norm similarities from Jimmy are intentional or not, but I’m liking it. Jimmy continues to show early signs of improving as an Update anchor this season, while Tina continues to show early signs of going downhill as an Update anchor this season.
— Oh, god. As if I didn’t have enough complaints about the preceding season’s Hilton Sisters bit on Update from the Kirsten Dunst episode, now they do a variation of it by having Maya and Sarah play the fictional Ramada Sisters. Again, I ask, what is with SNL’s early obsession at the time with the Hilton Sisters, who weren’t even universally known yet?
— At one point in the Ramada Sisters commentary, Tina asks the sisters about Paul Thomas Anderson, which is interesting in retrospect, given the fact that Maya herself would later marry Anderson. I’m not sure if she was in a relationship with him yet at the time of this episode.
— The entire Ramada Sisters commentary went by without a single laugh from me (BTW, how many times have I said that about something in this episode?). A complete waste of time.
STARS: **½


MAKING THE VIDEO
grimy Christina Aguilera (host) likes getting “Dirrty”

— A promising idea to spoof the making of Christina Aguilera’s then-new “Dirrty” music video.
— The outlandish and insane things being added to this video to make it “dirrty” and skanky were really funny at first, but have kinda lost their luster after a while.
— Sarah’s performance is solid in this, and reminds me why she was such a well-liked host in her first two SNL episodes. She sadly hasn’t been getting many opportunities to shine in tonight’s episode. This reminds me that Sarah did an interview during the week of this episode, in which she expressed excitement and optimism over potentially becoming a five-timer in the future and potentially doing a monologue similar to Tom Hanks’ legendary Five-Timers Club monologue. It’s sad to think back on that interview in retrospect, as tonight would end up being Sarah’s last time hosting. She never got to reach that coveted fifth hosting stint, or even a fourth hosting stint.
— Something seemed to go horribly wrong during Dean’s portion of this sketch as Redman. He delivers his whole spiel EXTREMELY awkwardly and hesitantly, with lots of unsure pauses and painful dead air, as if he’s lost and has no idea what the hell he’s supposed to say. When I later saw a re-airing of this sketch in an E! rerun of this episode (NBC themselves never re-aired this episode, presumably because of how poorly received it was), they used the dress rehearsal version of Dean’s scene, in which he delivers his lines absolutely perfectly, with no hesitation or awkwardness. His lines in that version were also a bit different from his lines in the live version of the sketch. So what went wrong with Dean during the live version? Did SNL re-write his dialogue right before air, and he perhaps didn’t get to see the changes until doing the sketch on live TV? (Even if so, that’s still no excuse for him looking so lost and reading his lines so terribly and awkwardly. Lots of cast members over the years have had to deal with last-minute line changes on the air, which is part of the nature of SNL, and those cast members have handled it very smoothly.) Or did the cue cards accidentally get dropped during Dean’s scene, forcing him to awkwardly make up some dialogue?
— I like how Sarah and all the other performers hold a frozen pose for a long time during the sketch-ending audience applause.
STARS: ***


ARLI$$
(host) watches Arli$$ to avoid laughter-induced loss of bladder control

— The premise of using a DVD set of the supposedly unfunny comedy show Arli$$ as a form of bladder control is okay, but not particularly creative. Also, I can’t help but find it kinda hypocritical that this sketch is coming from such a troubled SNL episode like tonight’s. Judging from how dead the audience has been during a lot of portions of tonight’s episode, the audience would probably argue that tonight’s episode could be used as a form of bladder control just as much as an Arli$$ DVD set would.
— This overall piece was surprisingly very short and straightforward. No clever additions or anything. Pretty bland.
STARS: **


NO WRESTLING
TRM & LOM fail in their attempt to get host & musical guest to wrestle

— Ah, the return of the Tracy-chats-with-the-host-after-a-sketch bit, after the Garth Brooks and Jamie Foxx episodes from season 25.
— An okay reveal of Tracy attempting a ploy to get Sarah and Faith Hill to wrestle each other, but I prefer the previous Tracy-chats-with-the-host sketches that mostly just feature Tracy rambling and ranting about stuff in his trademark manner.
— Lorne, to Tracy, when finding out about his Gellar/Hill wrestling ploy: “I thought we had this discussion after the Reese Witherspoon/Alicia Keys episode.”
— Meh, a very predictable and cliched turn with Lorne following his scolding of Tracy by trying his own ploy to get Sarah and Faith to wrestle.
— Ah, it turns out that Lorne’s scolding of Tracy and then trying to get Sarah and Faith to wrestle was all part of Tracy’s plan.
— I love Tracy harshly telling Lorne “You can’t do nothin’ right!” and “I don’t know why I keep you around here!”, as if Tracy’s the boss and Lorne is working for him.
— We get a variation of the legendary one-liner “Go get me a soda… BITCH!” by having Tracy now tell Lorne “Go get me a Pepsi, biotch!”, which is certainly nowhere near as funny as the original one-liner, but I guess it’s a better choice than just repeating the original one-liner, which only worked really well the first time in the Garth Brooks piece and suffered diminishing returns when Tracy repeated it in the Jamie Foxx piece.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Free”


MY LOVE
(MAR)’s dedication to offering herself to her man (TRM) overexcites him

— Our second edition of the series of Tracy/Maya semi-dramatic slice-of-life pieces.
— Turns out that this particular Tracy/Maya semi-dramatic slice-of-life piece is more comedic than the other ones, as Tracy has lots of funny one-liners about Maya’s breasts in between her serious, deep, straight-to-camera poetic speech about her man.
— Funny ending punchline, with Tracy following the end of Maya’s speech by saying “I creamed my jeans back when you said ‘breasts’.”
STARS: ***½


CORONA
police pursue Corona drinker Craig after he beans a waiter with a bottle

— Aw, geez, I forgot about this horrible runner. Enough with these Corona ads already!
— Okay, I finally got an actual laugh in these Corona ads, with Jimmy beaning the waiter with a beer bottle. Not sure that cheap punchline was worth such a horrible set-up with the first two insufferable Corona ads, though.
— Once again, absolutely NO applause from the audience at the end of this ad. I lost count long ago of the number of segments in this episode that ended with no applause.
STARS: **½


BLAME SADDAM
Americans’ economic discontent is incongruously aimed at Saddam Hussein

— I’m enjoying all the serious testimonials, with Americans inexplicably blaming Saddam Hussein for personal issues they’re struggling through. Some pointed satire here.
— Even among these serious testimonials, Tracy (who’s been getting tons of airtime tonight, BTW) manages to get a huge laugh with his hobo character saying a very angry and pride-filled “You can’t threaten my way of life anymore, Saddam!” while searching for food in a trash can.
— Maya’s ending voice-over: “Saddam, America is pissed off. Maybe not at you, but you’ll do.”
STARS: ****


SEXUAL HARASSMENT SEMINAR
loutish Merv The Perv (CHP) undermines goal of sexual harassment seminar

— The debut of what would go on to be Parnell’s ONLY big solo recurring character, Merv The Perv.
— Unlike subsequent Merv The Perv sketches, this first one doesn’t feature an opening title sequence.
— When this originally aired, I recall this felt like Parnell was playing a character originally written for Will Ferrell. Watching this sketch again now, I can still see some Ferrell in Parnell’s characterization here, but I’m enjoying his performance nonetheless.
— Speaking of Ferrell and Parnell, Parnell has been VERY dominant in tonight’s episode, starring in tons of important lead roles, just like Ferrell used to. As I said in my last episode review, Parnell’s increased post-Ferrell airtime in the first two episodes of this season had me thinking back then that Parnell was taking over as SNL’s new utility star, which made me very eager, especially as someone who’s always felt that Parnell is criminally underappreciated and underutilized. Sadly, this spotlight that Parnell’s been receiving on SNL so far this season does not last. As early as the very next episode, he goes back to mostly being underutilized, pushed into the background, and relegated to lots of thankless straight roles. (*sigh*) Well, it was nice while it lasted, folks. I’ve heard some online SNL fans at the time theorize that, due to the very poor reception the first two episodes of this season got, SNL perhaps figured that Parnell’s Ferrell-esque airtime and Ferrell-esque roles was one of the reasons why this season was being negatively perceived by viewers, and thus, one of SNL’s ways of trying to “fix” this season was to go back to status quo with Parnell, by using him the same way he was used in his previous seasons. We may never know if that theory is true or not, but it is something to think about. I’d like to think the theory isn’t true, but you do have to wonder why Parnell’s airtime suddenly gets scaled back after the first two episodes of this season seemed to be pushing him hard as the new leader of the show.
— I like how snappy and fast-paced Merv The Perv’s constant skeevy one-liner responses to Sarah’s lines are. Solid delivery from Parnell here.
— The mock-PSA ending with Sarah and Parnell wasn’t anything special.
STARS: ***


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very mixed and shaky episode, with a bit more bad than good. Even most of the good stuff was merely average or pretty good, with barely anything in the show standing out as great (which is especially a shame considering the VERY LARGE number of segments this episode contained). Most of the bad stuff, on the other hand, wasn’t just bad – it was worryingly terrible. This episode contained quite a number of what’s sure to be some of my least favorite pieces of this entire season. And not just sketches and commercials; even some individual moments within otherwise okay segments were particularly awful, such as Tina Fey’s Seattle rant and the Ramada Sisters commentary, both on Weekend Update, and Dean Edwards’ painfully awkward moment in the Making The Video sketch. I believe this episode has long had a negative reputation and I remember made lots of SNL fans at the time (including me) become very worried about the quality of this new season, and made us wonder if we were in for a disaster year on the level of season 20.
— Also, the studio audience of tonight’s episode needs to be addressed, because, my god, were they one of the toughest crowds SNL has ever had. So many moments in this episode were met with eerie silence in the studio, and a countless number of segments ended without ANY of the usual sketch-ending applause, as if the audience was flat-out REFUSING to applaud what they had just sat through. I recall an alleged audience member from this episode claiming online how, at one point in this episode, during a commercial break, the audience was so miserable that a large group of them started a “We want Ferrell!” chant. No idea if that’s true or not. I’ve always leaned towards it not being true, but who knows?


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Matt Damon)
a step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
John McCain

Posted on

October 5, 2002 – Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band (S28 E1)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

NBC SPECIAL REPORT
Dick Cheney (DAH) rides a Tomahawk missile flying toward Baghdad

— Funny visual of Darrell’s Dick Cheney casually sitting on an airborne missile while snacking on a Lunchable mini-pizza.
— Cheney: “It’s nice to have a missile this size between my legs.”
— I could do without Darrell’s Cheney speaking on the phone to an unseen President Bush. It just brings attention to this new season’s lack of Will Ferrell, as well as the fact that SNL seemingly hasn’t found a new Bush impersonator yet. Actually, the original cold opening of this episode in dress rehearsal had Darrell debuting a Bush impression, but his impression reportedly bombed so badly that it got cut after dress and SNL had to scramble for a replacement cold opening. This Dick-Cheney-on-a-missile piece was originally a Weekend Update commentary at dress rehearsal, with Tina delivering basically the same dialogue to Darrell’s Cheney that Parnell’s Tom Brokaw is doing here in the live version. And getting back to the Darrell’s-Bush-bombing-at-dress-rehearsal thing, the very next episode has SNL giving the Bush impression to a certain other cast member (you’ll see who when I review the episode, if you don’t already know who it is), but SNL would end up going back to the Darrell-as-Bush route the following season. Geez, as you can see, SNL’s attempt to replace Will Ferrell’s Bush impression is ALREADY getting extremely troubled and convoluted. And if the notoriously horrible Bush impression that Darrell would do on the air the following season is the improved version of his original Bush impression from tonight’s episode’s dress rehearsal, you really have to wonder just how fucking bad that original version of his impression was.
— Cheney telling Bush over the phone that he refuses to ask Saddam to say “Dude, you’re gettin’ a Dell” kinda made me laugh, just because it’s always funny in retrospect to be reminded of those Dell computer commercials from this time period. The following week’s episode will have a whole Weekend Update commentary about it.
— That’s it? This cold opening’s over already? This was unusually short and, despite a few highlights, fairly unremarkable for a season premiere cold opening. This definitely would’ve been more fitting as an Update commentary. Parnell’s Brokaw felt increasingly tacked on as this cold opening went on, and they eventually flat-out stopped cutting to him during the last minute or so of this, making it even more obvious that he wasn’t part of the original script.
STARS: **½


OPENING MONTAGE
— Same montage from the preceding two seasons. However, quite a number of changes have been made to the motif, including the removal of the scrolling SNL logos on the letterboxed top and bottom of the screen, and a new addition of a neon screen filter effect being used in all of the shots (some screencaps of the latter below).

— The initial shot of each repertory player (before their full name is displayed on the bottom of the screen) is now accompanied by their first name scrolling across the screen.

 

— When the cast members’ full names are displayed on the bottom of the screen, the font used for their names in the preceding two seasons’ opening montage has now been replaced with a new font. This new font strongly resembles the one used for the cast’s names in the season 23 montage (some side-by-side comparisons between season 23 and season 28’s name fonts below).

— Horatio Sanz’s shot from the preceding two seasons’ opening montage (first screencap below) has now been replaced with a new shot (second screencap below).

— Fred Armisen and Will Forte have been added to the cast tonight.


MONOLOGUE
feuding Justin Timberlake (host) & Britney Spears (AMP) stage a dance-off

— Good part with Matt Damon giving us examples of some of the big news stories over the summer that he wished he could’ve spoofed on SNL. I especially love his vocal impression of Mike Tyson.
— Pretty funny brief appearance from Maya as Justin Guarini from that summer’s hit new show, American Idol.
— Very interesting turn with Matt walking to the set of a sketch while talking about his favorite story of the summer that he’s about to perform a sketch about: Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake’s “angry dance-off”. A rare case of a full-fledged sketch being performed within a monologue.
— I find it questionable that THIS is the summer story that SNL (or Matt) has chosen to do an entire sketch about in this monologue. Matt and Amy are executing this well enough, but I just don’t have much interest in this type of material. In retrospect, this is the early stages of this SNL period gradually starting to rely way too heavily on the type of pop culture that I just don’t care for, not even in spoof form, similar to my recent complaints in the preceding season’s Kirsten Dunst episode about SNL spoofing the Hilton Sisters long before America at large even knew who the Hilton Sisters were.
— A laugh from Amy’s Britney saying “Oh, ya’ll, that makes my boobs hurt!”
— Pretty funny visual of Matt’s Justin doing The Robot to the song “Gloria”, of all things.
STARS: **½


NRA
the NRA says “happy hunting season” as the AFLAC duck is shot

— Two priceless and unexpected turns: the first being the Aflac duck showing up out of nowhere, and the second being Jimmy and Horatio’s hunter characters violently shooting the Aflac duck to bits. The latter had me howling.
STARS: ****½


BRIAN FELLOW’S SAFARI PLANET
porcupine & pot-bellied pig cause anxiety

— Not a bad choice for a lead-off sketch of the season, even if I know they’ll never top the last Brian Fellow sketch from the preceding season’s The Rock episode. It’s great that the once-notoriously-underused Tracy Morgan has now gotten to the point where SNL can confidently star him in the lead-off sketch of a season. A good early sign of how reliable Tracy will be this season.
— And now, here’s a bad sign of things to come this season: Horatio’s ALREADY a giggly mess for no apparent reason, only one live sketch into the season.
— Some good laughs from Brian Fellow confusing Matt’s normal description of the porcupine for dirty talk. I particularly like Brian saying “Hopefully, we’ll bleep that on the West Coast.”
— Funny turn with Brian randomly asking Matt, for no apparent reason, “Why does that pig hate Jewish people?”
— I love Brian Fellow casually mentioning an uncle of his named Kool-Aid.
STARS: ***½


NRA
the NRA says “take the safety off” as AT&T shill Carrot Top (SEM) is shot

— Another funny turn in these NRA ads, with Seth suddenly showing up as Carrot Top, spoofing Carrot Top’s AT&T commercials.
STARS: ***½


SPRINGSTEEN CONCERT
Denise misses her chance to go “Dancing In the Dark” with musical guest

— A given for this recurring sketch to appear in a Matt Damon episode.
— I like the passing mention of Matt’s character having gone out with Denise’s mom in the past.
— As expected, Matt is giving a very solid performance in this sketch.
— Why is Bruce Springsteen being represented by the arm of a body double? After all, Bruce himself is there at SNL tonight. He couldn’t be bothered to make a little walk-on during a sketch?
— I love how Springsteen (or his body double, rather) is unsuccessful in his attempt to lift Denise onto the stage, because, as Sully puts it, “He can’t lift the juggs!”
— In the middle of the preceding commercial break, when this sketch was shown being set up, one of the cast members heard being called by the stage manager to take their place for this sketch was Seth. However, Seth ended up not being seen anywhere in the overall sketch. So why was he called during the commercial break? Or was that him playing Springsteen’s arm in this sketch? If so, that may be the oddest utilization of a cast member in SNL history.
STARS: ***½


NUTRI-QUICK
Nutri-Quick Meal On-The-Go suppositories anally nourish busy workers

 

— A good laugh from the initial visual of the ridiculously huge anal suppository.
— Funny visual of Parnell stiffly walking away with his butt tightly clenched, after he’s taken the suppository.
— Meh at Jeff’s big tagline being an intentionally groan-worthy “Let’s just say I put my lunch… up my butt!”
— Strangely, the audience doesn’t applaud at the end of this.
STARS: ***


HANNIBAL LECTER GOES TO MICHIGAN STATE
Hannibal Lecter (host) in pre-prequel

— A pretty strong Hannibal Lecter impression from Matt, and a decent premise, showing Hannibal’s freshman year of college.
— I got a good laugh from Horatio cutting off Hannibal’s unsettling rant with “Just answer your message, asswipe.”
— The reveal of Hannibal sitting on the toilet during his current rant could be seen coming from a mile away.
— Some of these scenes are falling very flat with the audience, including the aforementioned toilet scene.
— I like the ending scene with Hannibal singing the WKRP In Cincinnati theme song.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Lonesome Day”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Red Sox fans SEM & host give Yankee fans tips on how to cope with losing

Venezuelan comedian Fericito (FRA) says JIF should employ a catchphrase

 

— During Jimmy’s smallpox joke, his delivery of the “big pox” punchline groaner and the way he stared down the camera afterwards with a deadpan facial expression were VERY Norm Macdonald-esque.
— Decent commentary with Red Sox fans Seth Meyers and Matt Damon giving tips to Yankees fans on how to cope with the Yankees being eliminated from the playoffs.
— The audience’s (initially delayed) uproarious negative reaction to Matt’s “You still have the Jets” comment is pretty funny.
— I like the whole “married to a black bear” bit between Jimmy and Tina. I’m seeing improvement in Jimmy’s Update performance this season. IIRC, over the course of both this and the following season, we’ll be seeing Jimmy gradually surpass Tina as the better anchor, though that also partly has to do with Tina gradually going downhill.
— Tina’s Ziggy joke bombed hard with the audience, though judging from her ad-lib afterwards, she had been expecting that reaction.
— Nice to see Fred Armisen getting an Update commentary in his very first episode.
— While I’m not laughing all that hard at this Fericito commentary, Fred’s performance is fun, and it’s very impressive how much he’s commanding the stage and working the audience in his very first SNL appearance. I remember being so taken by this when this originally aired.
— A good callback to Fericito’s earlier advice to Jimmy, with Jimmy following up his next joke with an “I’m just keeediiiing!”
STARS: ***½


DAMONS
Dr. Matt Damon (CHP) complains to namesake host about being overshadowed

— I love Parnell’s understated bitterness when recalling how he had his identity as someone named Matt Damon ripped away from him when the actor Matt Damon became popular.
— Very funny reveal of Tracy’s name being Ben Affleck.
— All the quick name rundowns when Parnell is introducing everyone are well-done and funny.
— A good random bit with Dean’s name being Dr. Julius Irving.
— Parnell’s over-excited attitude when finding out he’s cured cancer is a nice and rare display of Parnell going over the top.
— Solid sketch overall.
STARS: ****


VERSACE POCKETS
the extravagant way to enjoy a microwaveable meal

— A good out-of-the-ordinary setting for Maya’s Versace impression.
— It’s pretty funny listening to the audience gradually realize Horatio is playing Rosie O’Donnell, who wasn’t introduced by name (unless I missed it).
— Matt’s doing a very funny spoof of Axl Rose’s then-recent MTV VMAs performance, right down to imitating Rose being so out of breath after his performance.
— Maya’s Versace performance in this overall sketch seemed a little more low-key and half-hearted than usual. Even her usual trademark angry yell of “Get out” at the end was simply spoken in a monotone manner tonight. I prefer her more absurdist, cartoonish, fun take on Versace in the preceding season’s Hugh Jackman episode.
STARS: ***


TV FUNHOUSE
“The Smurfette Show” by RBS- blue sprite behaves like Anna Nicole Smith

— A random but promising idea to do a hybrid of The Smurfs and the Anna Nicole Show.
— A pretty well-done and accurate spoof of the trashy Anna Nicole Show, while also doing a spot-on imitation of The Smurfs’ animation and cliches.
— Nice touch having Jim Cummings do the voice of Gargamel.
— This overall cartoon kinda lost its luster for me towards the end, and should’ve concluded a little sooner.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “You’re Missing”


SEX ROBOT
(host)’s government-funded sex robot project has come to naught

— I love that Parnell’s been experiencing increased airtime tonight, now that Will Ferrell is gone. I remember that this and (especially) the following week’s episode both had me convinced at the time that Parnell was taking over as SNL’s new utility star, and was going to get Ferrell levels of airtime on a regular basis. (*sigh*) If I only knew better…
— A very funny random throwaway joke with Darrell’s name being General Mills.
— Good reveal of the “important” project that the government is expecting from Matt turning out to be a sex robot. I’m surprised that reveal didn’t get a better audience reaction.
— Solid fake-out with Amy turning out to be a real woman and not the sex robot.
— The actual sex robot just being a trash can with a gloryhole is hilarious.
— Kattan has only made two appearances in this entire episode, both appearances of which were just small supporting roles that anyone could’ve played, which already shows how pointless it was for Kattan to return for another season.
— I love Parnell’s line about “the question mark suit guy from those commercials” (Matthew Lesko) being the bane of the government’s existence. This sketch is featuring a lot of the kind of absurdity that I love.
STARS: ****


DR. PHIL
Dr. Phil McGraw (JER) offers wacky counsel to guests on his show

— A then-rare occurrence of Jeff starring in a sketch.
— Jeff is a great impressionist in general, but I’m not too impressed by his Dr. Phil here. The voice isn’t anywhere near deep enough. His performance itself is pretty good, though.
— A pretty good laugh from the very brief “Take your top off” scene between Dr. Phil and Maya.
— Will Forte (who words cannot express how excited I am to reach the tenure of) gets his very first laughs from me in this SNL project of mine, with the sullen, deep voice he’s using as Santa Claus, and his general deadpan demeanor here, the latter of which is adding a nice subtle touch of absurdity to this Santa role. And the whole back-and-forth between him and Jeff’s Dr. Phil is consistently cracking me up.
— Jeff’s goofy, chipper smile into the camera at the end kinda bombed with the audience. I remember it being pointed out on an online SNL board back then that Jeff had a look on his face during the goodnights that seemed like he was aware his sketch didn’t go over too well with the audience.
STARS: ***


THE WAR ON IRAQ
new reality series is coming soon to NBC

— A lot of pre-taped fake ads in tonight’s episode.
— An okay premise with presenting The War On Iraq as a cheery sitcom promo. And as always, Parnell’s professional voice-over adds a lot to the humor.
— Parnell’s voice-over, on one of the things to expect from this show: “Mustaches. Lots and lots of Tom Selleck mustaches.”
— Surprised this is over already. Felt like this had potential to be taken a little further.
STARS: ***


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Not a bad season premiere, which is kinda surprising, given how this season will end up turning out. I can still see some early signs of trouble for this season, though. Tonight’s cold opening and monologue didn’t get this season premiere off on the best foot, and, as I kept pointing out throughout the review, the audience was strangely unresponsive to several parts of the show, something that would go on to be a recurring theme this season (especially in the very next episode). Most of tonight’s sketches were still good, though, including a few stand-outs in the post-Weekend Update half. Matt Damon was a solid host and fit well in SNL’s format.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (2001-02)
a slight step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Sarah Michelle Gellar

Posted on

May 18, 2002 – Winona Ryder / Moby (S27 E20)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

JIMMY CARTER IN CUBA
Fidel Castro (WIF) recaps embarrassments of Jimmy Carter’s (DAH) tenure

— (*sigh*) Well, here we go. Will Ferrell’s final episode. Of all the cast members I’ve reviewed and become attached to during this SNL project of mine so far, Will’s gonna be one of the hardest for me to let go. And knowing what the following three seasons are going to be like without Will makes his departure that much more difficult to take.
— A solid Jimmy Carter voice from Darrell, and his make-up and facial expressions are amusing me.
— Some laughs from Will’s Fidel Castro bringing up infamous and embarrassing things from Carter’s presidency. It’s especially funny how Castro is harping so much on Carter’s rabbit attack.
— Solid delivery from Maya as Castro’s translator.
— Maya delivers her very first “Live from New York…”. Odd how they’re having her deliver it with the about-to-depart Will, though, not to mention how Will only gets to deliver it in Spanish here. You’d figure they’d have Will deliver a solo LFNY for his final episode.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
TRM alerts host to the existence of dressing room security cameras

— The concept of a monologue showing live scenes from backstage security cameras reminds me of John Goodman’s season 21 monologue.
— I love Ana and Darrell being shown having an argument about him possibly being the father of the baby she’s pregnant with.
— I absolutely LOVE the footage of the featured players (Dean, Jeff, and Seth) contemplating which SNL veterans besides Will are possibly leaving. Reminds me so much of how online SNL boards always heavily speculate which cast members may possibly be leaving whenever we head towards the end of a season. I also like the part with Dean, Jeff, and Seth giving a “Yeah, right”-type of laugh at the possibility of Tracy leaving.
— Lots of other funny security camera footage, including Jimmy secretly peeing in Lorne’s coffee pot, and Will spraypainting an obscene goodbye message on the wall.
STARS: ****


CELEBRITY JEOPARDY
Dave Matthews (JIF) & Bjork (host); Alex Trebek cameo

 

— Our final edition of Celebrity Jeopardy, until the sketch would occasionally be resurrected in some of Will’s future hosting stints and SNL’s 40th Anniversary Special. I certainly hope tonight’s installment is better than the underwhelming one from earlier this season.
— Great line from Darrell’s Sean Connery about cutting an album of filthy limericks just so he’d be eligible for the rock-and-roll edition of Celebrity Jeopardy. I also love the filthy limerick he demonstrates, before Will’s Alex Trebek prevents us from hearing the particularly dirty part.
— Good to see Jimmy back in a Celebrity Jeopardy sketch, after skipping the one from earlier this season. He’s doing a spot-on Dave Matthews impression.
— I like the voice and bizarre ramblings that Winona’s doing as Bjork.
— Alex Trebek, to Bjork: “Are you Icelandic or retarded?” Meh, that’s just a lazy variation of the “Are you English or retarded?” line that Will’s Trebek delivered to Molly Shannon’s Minnie Driver in a previous Celebrity Jeopardy.
— Dave Matthews being accompanied by a violin-playing Boyd Tinsley during one answer is pretty funny. Tinsley is played by Dean here, but at dress rehearsal, Tracy played him.
— I love Trebek cutting off one of Bjork’s long ramblings with “Aaaaaaaand SHUT IT.”
— Brief screen glitches have now begun occasionally showing up during this sketch (example below).

This isn’t a local station error; these screen glitches are actually from SNL’s end. SNL’s control room was experiencing “power burps”. I remember this was confirmed on the SNL newsgroup (alt.tv.snl) by a mysterious SNL insider who occasionally posted under the name “He Who Knows” (and, yes, he was a reliable source for inside SNL info). Reportedly, people at SNL were upset that these screen glitches were occurring on the big Will Ferrell farewell episode.
— Oh, I had forgotten until now that the real Alex Trebek walks on at the end of this, to help officially conclude the series of Celebrity Jeopardy sketches.
— A nice and meta way for the sketch to end.
— Overall, definitely a step up from the Celebrity Jeopardy installment from earlier this season, but still falls quite short of measuring up to a typical classic installment. It’s a bit of a shame that this very reliable recurring sketch started kinda fizzling out towards the end of its original run, but that was probably inevitable. Despite that, this has still always been a funny recurring sketch, even in its lesser installments.
STARS: ****


UNCLE MIKE & UNCLE DANNY
bride’s (host) two dads (WIF) & (CHP) sing at her wedding reception

— Yet another example of a gay stereotype sketch that I found hilarious at the time, but now find that this type of humor comes off tired and doesn’t hold up well.
— I absolutely love the way Will intensely and exaggeratedly sings the lyric “There’ll be no distance between us”.
— Horatio being brought in as an interpretive dancer is fairly funny.
— The constant cutaways to Kattan and Rachel’s put-off facial reactions to the singing are getting very old.
— Screen glitches have begun showing up again.
— It’s hard to tell, but at the end of this sketch, it looks like Horatio accidentally trips and begins falling down when walking off the platform as the camera fades to black.
STARS: **


BEAROLOGIST
bear researcher (WIF) is double-crossed in a plot to kill his wife (ANG)

— After getting cut from the live show many times this season, this sketch has finally made it on the air, most likely as a favor to Will for his final episode.
— I love Ana’s accent as Will’s wife, as well as the unexplained detail of her wearing a neck brace.
— Hilarious part with the bear following orders to kill Ana, but doing so by unexpectedly picking up a gun and shooting her. However, due to Ana’s very pregnant state, we don’t get to see her reacting to the gunshot by doing a great jump in the air, which she was previously seen doing in a rehearsal of this sketch shown in a behind-the-scenes SNL documentary that A&E did on this season’s Gwyneth Paltrow episode.
— Will’s frustration over the bear shooting his wife instead of strangling her is great.
— Will, to the cop: “I swear, a TV-watching bear killed my wife!”
— Excellent twist ending with the bear turning out to be the brother of Will’s character, disguised in a bear costume.
— Seth: “14 years in a bear suit FINALLY paid off!”
— Brilliant sketch overall, and Will’s final classic sketch during his tenure as a cast member.
STARS: *****


BOTOX
the stroke-victim look is only a needle of poison to the face away

— SNL’s very first mention of the Botox craze going on at the time.
— A lot of funny lines from the ladies touting the wonders of Botox. I especially like Winona’s “It’s like a little stroke you shoot into your head with a needle.”
— A great ending shot of the ladies all drooling while speaking out of the corner of their mouths.
— This ends up being the only segment all night that Will doesn’t appear in (not counting Moby’s musical performances).
STARS: ****


GIRL NEXT DOOR
one-legged Amber & other contestants compete to be a Playboy centerfold

 

— Great line from Maya about flashing her “ebony beav”, and how she’ll be flashing it for Harriet Tubman.
— Amy’s one-legged Amber character has now become recurring.
— I love Maya saying “This is MY underground railroad” while gesturing towards her crotch.
— Like the previous sketch featuring this character, Amber is getting laughs from me with her bragging about undesirable things about herself. I worry that I’m eventually going to get sick of this character, but so far, she’s been funny in her two sketches that have aired up to this point. It also helps that tonight’s sketch has a lot of other funny characters surrounding Amber.
— Maya continues to kill in this sketch, with yet another great line, in which she tells one-legged Amber “Shut up, pogo stick!”
— I like Ana’s overdramatic delivery when revealing the winner.
STARS: ***½


WEEKEND UPDATE
childless TIF, RAD, AMP, MAR are sick of biological clock reminders

Neil Diamond (WIF) & friends sing “Cherry, Cherry”; Neil Diamond cameo

— Jimmy’s Luciano Pavarotti joke received a very bizarre-sounding laugh from a male audience member, which Tina physically acknowledged by shooting a funny look towards that audience member’s direction.
— Very funny rant from Tina so far, regarding the pressure put on women to have children. Some funny lines during Tina’s rant include “Either your cooter works or it doesn’t” and “I was an ugly baby. I looked like a cross between that chick from the Indigo Girls and… the other chick from the Indigo Girls.”
— I like Tina now getting the rest of the non-Gasteyer female cast members involved in her baby rant, and they’re all adding to the humor here.
— Tina, Rachel, Maya, and Amy talking about how unenthusiastic they are to have babies is even funnier in retrospect, knowing that they’re all moms today. (Actually, I’m not 100% sure about Rachel. Is she a mom? Thanks in advance to anyone who answers.)
— A good laugh from Will’s Neil Diamond mistaking this for being a Cheers reunion.
— Ah, now Will’s Diamond brings out “the 2002 Weekend Update All-Stars”: Gay Hitler, Geraldo Rivera, Drunk Girl, aaaaaand… the real Neil Diamond, the latter being our second cameo tonight from a celebrity who Will has famously impersonated over the years. SNL is really going all out tonight for Will’s last show.
— The real Neil Diamond didn’t appear during this episode’s dress rehearsal, which would explain why he looks kinda lost and under-rehearsed during his singing here.
— A nice way to end this season of Update.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “We Are All Made Of Stars”


LOVERS
in hotel hot tub, Roger & Virginia re-encounter Dave & win over (host)

— I would normally question why they’re doing ANOTHER Luvahs sketch so soon, just two episodes after we last saw them with Alec Baldwin, but they’re obviously only doing this sketch tonight for closure before Will leaves.
— Some pretty funny vocalizations from Roger when he and Virginia recognize Jimmy’s character, Dave, from the Luvahs sketch from this season’s Drew Barrymore episode.
— Roger’s odd way of always pronouncing “hot tub” as “hah-TAHB” finally gets called out.
— There’s our final go-around of Will’s usual attempts to crack Jimmy up. I remember some of the news articles about Will’s departure from SNL asked “Now that Ferrell’s gone, who’s gonna make Jimmy Fallon laugh during every sketch?” They clearly forgot about Horatio, who’s traditional attempts to crack Jimmy up would unfortunately go into overdrive starting in the following season (and be far less forgiving than Will’s traditional attempts to crack Jimmy up), to the degree that people today now remember Horatio as the resident “Fallon breaker” and forget that Will was heavily associated with that role before Horatio was.
— Jimmy’s character, when feeling somebody underwater touching him in a certain area: “Who’s hand is on my cul-de-sac right now?”
— This sketch is getting awfully muddied. This has become a cacophonous mess of everybody squirting food into each other’s mouths while Jimmy repeatedly cracks up as he delivers a long rant about something that I can’t even pay attention to, and other nonsense. The audience isn’t laughing during this incoherent mess, and neither am I.
— A twist on the traditional, played-out “Ow my back” endings of these Luvahs sketches, but this twist still didn’t work for me.
— Overall, a poor way for The Luvahs to go out (not counting their future appearance in the following season’s Christopher Walken episode that Will cameos in). Despite that, I’m proud to say that doing this SNL project of mine has made me come around on The Luvahs, after hating them with a fiery passion back when their sketches originally aired.
STARS: **


MANGO
while out with host & musical guest, Mango is arrested for shoplifting

— Oh, dear god. Mango. Thankfully, this ends up being the last Mango sketch ever. (And no, Kattan’s unfortunately not leaving with Will. Kattan probably just got sick of doing Mango sketches and decided to officially stop after this season.)
— Mango’s initial appearance here is welcomed by absolute DEAD SILENCE from the audience. That speaks volumes of how played-out and horribly past his prime Mango is by this point.
— Moby’s “I heart Eminem” shirt is presumably his response to being dissed by Eminem in the preceding episode, when Eminem performed “Without Me”.
— A very weak way of spoofing Winona’s shoplifting scandal.
— I could do without the overlong and unfunny photo montage of Mango’s mugshots, though they’re probably only showing this to give Kattan time to change into his prison outfit for the next portion of this sketch.
— Mango and Winona having a wild make-out/sex session with each other on the opposite sides of a pane of glass is kinda funny, but I think I’m just desperate to find SOMETHING to laugh at in this sketch.
— Terrible ending.
— Much like the final Mr. Peepers sketch from a little earlier this season, tonight’s overall Mango sketch was a pathetic last gasp of a dying recurring sketch. Good riddance to Mango.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “South Side”

— SNL abruptly cuts this musical performance off mid-progress, presumably because the show is starting to run long and they want to leave enough time for the special piece that follows this musical performance.


WILL’S FINAL SHOW
on WIF’s final show, all cast members but TRM have fond memories of him

— Kinda meaningful in retrospect that Ana is the first person who speaks in this Will Ferrell tribute, considering she would end up leaving with Will, but neither SNL nor Ana herself knew it at the time. She had publicly announced before the end of this season that she plans on returning the following season. I guess having motherly duties after giving birth to her baby over the summer gave her second thoughts about staying on SNL, and she would publicly announce sometime before the following season started that she’s not returning. A shame she never got the opportunity to say goodbye on the air.
— When Darrell begins stating, in regards to Will, “I came into this place with him…”, he takes a pause before continuing “…and I’m gonna miss him.” I remember when this originally aired, my heart kinda jumped when I seriously thought for a second that Darrell was going to follow “I came into this place with him…” with “…and I’m gonna leave this place with him.” If he did say that, though, I guess that would’ve kinda taken away from this being Will’s farewell piece, not to mention it would’ve probably made some people feel bad for Darrell that his departure is being so overshadowed by Will’s. In retrospect, though, this clearly should’ve been the point where Darrell left. For the remaining seven(!) years of his SNL tenure, his relevancy on the show sadly drops off more and more with each passing season, and he gradually comes off more and more unenthusiastic in his performances, to the degree that I remember sometimes actually being kinda bothered watching this man who visibly didn’t seem to give a shit anymore about being on SNL.
— Very nice how we’re seeing testimonials about Will from every repertory player except Amy (who I guess is excluded from this because she’s only worked with Will for one season… less than one season, really, when you factor in the three episodes that Will missed this season). You can really see just how much love and respect the cast genuinely has for Will.
— Very interesting and bold how Parnell is openly addressing his firing and eventual rehiring, and how Will made that rehiring happen.
— Up to this point in SNL’s run, this is by far the biggest deal SNL has ever made on the air about a beloved cast member leaving. I remember how unusual and unprecedented it felt at the time seeing this. I think the only future example that would compare to the huge deal SNL’s making about Will’s departure is Kristen Wiig’s farewell piece 10 years later.
— Tracy, as soon as the camera cuts to him: “*I* got a story.” Oh, you know THIS is gonna be good.
— So many hilarious lines from Tracy dishing dirt on Will, despite 30% of Tracy’s dialogue here being an unintelligible garblefest.
— Ha, speaking of how some of Tracy’s dialogue here is an unintelligible garblefest, am I hearing him constantly mispronounce Will’s last name as “fuh-REL”?
— Reportedly, in the dress rehearsal version of this piece, among the many terrible things Tracy accused Will of included “He made sure all of Dean’s sketches got cut!” A hilariously meta reference to Dean’s extreme lack of airtime, but unfortunately, that line didn’t make it to the live version, which, in a way, further proves Tracy’s point. Something else that unintentionally makes that line of Tracy’s even funnier is the aforementioned fact that Dean replaced Tracy as Boyd Tinsley in the live version of the Celebrity Jeopardy sketch earlier tonight.
— Ah, and here’s the man of the hour, Will. Pretty funny how he’s confirming all of the awful things Tracy said about him.
— Very sweet ending between Will and Tracy.
STARS: N/A (not sure if this is a rateable segment)


GOODNIGHTS

— SNL continues to go the whole nine yards for Will’s final episode, by flashing a “BYE WILL” light above the stage door, and a hand being shown holding up a “We’ll miss you, Will – the crew” sign in front of the camera.
— Man, seeing Maya in tears when hugging Will is really getting to me.

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A pretty good season finale, though there was a drop-off with the first few post-Weekend Update sketches. This was also a satisfying Will Ferrell farewell episode, with the show getting pretty much all the mileage out of him that they possibly could for one last time, having him appear in a whopping ten sketches(!), which I believe holds the all-time record for most appearances by a cast member in a single episode.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Kirsten Dunst)
about the same


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS ENTIRE SEASON, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS OVERALL SEASON STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (2000-01)
a very slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Season 28 begins, with host Matt Damon, and the addition of two new featured players to the cast

Posted on

May 11, 2002 – Kirsten Dunst / Eminem (S27 E19)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

BRIEFING
George W. Bush (WIF) misidentifies Middle East leaders’ names in briefing

— This ends up being the final appearance of Will’s George W. Bush during Will’s tenure as a cast member (obviously not counting the times Will would later play Bush when hosting or cameoing). Due to that, it’s bittersweet watching this particular cold opening in retrospect, especially when being aware of the huge struggle that SNL’s going to have in regards to getting a new Bush impersonator.
— A big laugh from Will’s Bush calling Hussein Of Jordan’s wife Queen Amidala.
— Bush, after being surprised to hear there’s two Abdullahs: “Is this some kind of a test?” Dick Cheney: “I ask myself that every day.”
— Pretty simple “Bush is dumb” premise, but it’s being executed well. Again, knowing that this is Will’s final Bush appearance during his SNL tenure, the simplicity and straightforwardness of this cold opening is strangely kinda charming in a way, though at the same time, it would’ve been nice if SNL ended Will’s run as Bush by going all out on an epic, special cold opening and saved it for Will’s final episode the following week.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
host shows clip of earlier SNL appearance; HOS pretends to be Spider-Man

— A nice part with Kirsten Dunst pointing out that she once appeared on SNL as a child extra in a Dana-Carvey-as-Bush-Sr. cold opening from 1988, which we’re then shown a clip of. Feels like it was just yesterday when I reviewed that cold opening.
— Pretty funny use of the old Spider-Man theme song when an upside-down Horatio in a Spider-Man costume makes his entrance.
— A laugh from Horatio’s Spider-Man explaining his weight gain by claiming he was stung by 1,000 bees.
— Yikes, when Kirsten is supposed to pull down only the mouth part of Horatio’s Spider-Man mask, she accidentally pulls off the ENTIRE mask, which kinda blows the bit, as Kirsten’s not supposed to realize it’s Horatio under that mask until much later in the monologue. After accidentally removing Horatio’s entire mask, Kirsten awkwardly attempts to put the mask back on him, to no avail.
— Double-yikes, now this monologue has gone even further off the rails. When Horatio asks for a bucket to vomit in, a crew member is supposed to hand him one, which Horatio was then supposed to put his head inside while vomiting sound effects are played. However, for some inexplicable reason, no bucket is handed to Horatio, forcing him to hesitantly skip the vomiting part, and he and Kirsten just awkwardly go on with the monologue. Geez, what the hell is going ON???
— When Horatio attempts to kiss Kirsten, she responds “You just puked, I’m not gonna kiss you!”, a line that makes absolutely NO sense, given that Horatio never got to do the vomiting bit. This line of Kirsten’s receives uncomfortable silence from the studio audience, who were probably just as confused over that line as I remember being when watching this episode live.
— Now Horatio reveals to Kirsten, “It’s me, Horatio”, as if he had just taken off his mask to reveal his identity, which, again, makes NO sense to SNL’s studio audience and home viewers, considering Horatio’s mask had ALREADY been long removed by accident. Jesus Christ, this monologue is a mess.
— SNL would later replace this monologue with the dress rehearsal version in reruns, for obvious reasons.
STARS: *½


CLEAR RESULTS
(ANG) gets reassurance in third trimester

— A lot of laughs from Ana’s voice-over constantly questioning if she’s pregnant of not, when we can see that she clearly is very pregnant.
— A good reveal that this is a pregnancy test commercial.
— An overall solid way for SNL to get mileage out of Ana’s real-life pregnancy, and ends up being one of her last great SNL moments.
STARS: ****


LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY
derivative (host) sings & plays piano

— Kirsten’s playing a solid combo of Alicia Keys and some other young female singers from this time period.
— Funny part with Kirsten’s character explaining she used to go out with Bob Saget, spoofing Alanis Morissette’s relationship with Dave Coulier.
— I love Jimmy-as-Carson-Daly’s line about having a side job mixing paint at Home Depot.
STARS: ***½


TV FUNHOUSE
“Bambi 2002” by RBS- unfocused Disney sequel sullies memory of original

— A huge laugh from one of the announced Disney movies being a porno titled “Pokahotass”.
— A lot of very funny and inappropriate out-of-place situations for Bambi to be placed in.
— David Spade voice cameo!
— And… OH, NO. A fucking Jared Fogel voice cameo?!?!? Goddammit, I thought the only Jared Fogel SNL cameo I ever had to worry about covering is in the Michael Phelps episode from much later in this decade. I had completely forgotten about his animated appearance and voice cameo in this cartoon.
— Solid TV Funhouse as a whole.
STARS: ****


DEMILON
Demilon keeps senior citizens controllable by counteracting memory drugs

— Kind of a touchy subject, trying to get laughs out of Alzheimer’s.
— I did get a laugh from Rachel’s old lady character happily saying “I’m having lunch with Eleanor Roosevelt… and Yogi Bear!”
— An overall surprisingly short sketch, and, other than one laugh, was nothing special at all.
STARS: **


BACKGROUND ACTORS
extras’ (WIF), (AMP), (host) antics steal attention from serious scene

— Will and Amy’s extremely exaggerated, unnatural background acting is providing good laughs.
— Kirsten eventually getting into the act is pretty funny as well.
— Good understated frustration from Maya and Kattan’s actor characters, who are trying to keep the scene going despite the background antics.
— There’s one brief point where Maya looked like she was about to come very close to helplessly busting out laughing in reaction to the faces that Will, Amy, and Kirsten are making right next to her, but she’s doing a good job of pulling through and keeping a straight face.
— Great anger from Parnell towards the terrible background actors.
STARS: ***½


JARRET’S ROOM
(host) & (AMP) are the stars of a copycat webcam show

— Somewhat interesting with us being shown Kirsten and Amy starring in a rip-off version of Jarret’s Room.
— I like the mirror bit that Gobi’s doing with Amy as his female counterpart.
— An overall somewhat fun Jarret’s Room installment, and a step up from the disappointing last installment with Britney Spears.
— Where was Jeff as his usual Jarret’s Room character? In fact, Jeff ends up not appearing in ANY sketches tonight (same goes for Tracy, by the way), though he’s certainly there in the SNL studio, as he can be seen in this episode’s later goodnights.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Without Me”


WEEKEND UPDATE
socialites Nicky (host) & Paris (MAR) Hilton visit Weekend Update

in a terrible re-enactment, Queen Elizabeth (CHK) sees a streaker (CHK)

CHP performs a rap about his gangsta life & relationship with host

 

— I see that, after experimenting with many different hairstyles this season, Jimmy has returned to the trademark hairstyle he had in his first three seasons.
— (*groan*) We get our very first display of SNL’s inexplicable fascination with the Hilton Sisters, long before the sisters even became universally known to most people. Back in these days, I used to blame Tina for this annoying obsession of SNL’s (especially around seasons 29 and 30, where I had A LOT of issues with Tina), as she seemed to have a fascination for Paris Hilton and trash like Paris who were around in this era.
— And the Hilton Sisters segment is now already over, with no semblance of a premise to be found anywhere. What exactly was the point of that short segment?
— Oh, no. Another freakin’ Terrible Reenactment from Kattan. Man, between the Hilton Sisters bit and now this, the guests in tonight’s Update are starting to destroy me.
— Ah, here comes Parnell to give the guest side of tonight’s Update some much-needed stability.
— Even though Parnell suddenly breaking out into another Update rap no longer has that great element of surprise that his first Update rap did, his rap tonight is still a pure blast to watch. Plus, there’s something funny about knowing that Eminem is in the building during tonight’s Parnell rap.
— An overall absolutely fantastic rap from Parnell once again.
— A second appearance from Kirsten in tonight’s Update, this time as herself? At least her refuting all of the things Parnell rapped about her is taking this into a different direction from Parnell’s original Update rap.
STARS: ***


KOURNIKOVA VS. PENTHOUSE
trial of Anna Kournikova (host) vs. Penthouse takes on a Laugh-In flavor

— Kirsten’s accent and broken English as Anna Kournikova are both funny, especially her mentions of her “boobings tips”.
— A fun random turn with a sudden Laugh-In dance sequence, complete with go-go music, party lighting, and camera zoom-ins-and-outs.
— A hilarious portion of the sketch with Seth as an average joe testifying how violated he was by finding out that pictures he masturbated to were NOT of Anna Kournikova. This is made even funnier by Ana’s professional voice-over detailing this ridiculous testimony.
— A great laugh from Parnell’s failed attempt to trigger yet another Laugh-In sequence.
— Will is completely stealing this sketch, doing a perfectly Will Ferrell-esque take on Bob Guccione. Again, there’s a bittersweet feel, when you realize this is going to be one of our very last opportunities to ever see Will steal a sketch during his tenure as a cast member.
— Darrell’s awkward dancing at the end is cracking me up.
— Very fun sketch overall.
STARS: ****


WAKE UP WAKEFIELD!
Megan & Sheldon at (host)’s slumber party

— A very nice change of pace, having tonight’s Wake Up Wakefield be set at a slumber party. Seeing talk shows and the like changing things up by taking place inside somebody’s house is something that’s become quite common to see today, considering the current situation going on in the world.
— I like the comically unsettling line about Sheldon’s parents needing to “work stuff out” at home.
— The addition of Tina, Amy, Kirsten, and Ana’s characters is really adding to the adolescent atmosphere that these Wake Up Wakefield sketches always go for. Kirsten is particularly funny here as her adolescent character.
— A very funny line with Amy’s rumor about how Kirsten once “put a frozen hot dog in her nooners”.
— This is the SECOND sketch tonight in which Jimmy and Kirsten make out with each other.
— Cute ending with the girls ganging up on Sheldon to tickle him.
STARS: ***½


AUDITION
Kyle & Sean DeMarco & cousin (host) audition to tour with musical guest

— Dean is making the most of his obligatory sole appearance of the night.
— Boy, Eminem’s delivery here is terrible. He takes practically half a minute just to deliver single lines. What’s with all the damn pausing from him?
— Ugh, our inevitable post-Parnell’s-rehiring return of these insufferable DeMarco Brothers. Thankfully, however, this ends up being their final on-air appearance. SNL was going to do a DeMarco Brothers sketch the following season with musical guest Avril Lavigne (in the Jeff Gordon episode), and the sketch even survived dress rehearsal cuts and was going to go on the air somewhere around the 10-to-1 slot, but it ended up getting cut at the last minute because Lavigne reportedly claimed to be having throat problems after her second musical performance (I remember some online SNL fans at the time had a theory that Lavigne faked her alleged throat problems as an excuse to get out of a lame sketch).
— I love Parnell warning Kattan, in regards to Eminem, “He is fixing to pop a cap in our fannies.”
— Another surprisingly funny line, with Kattan responding to Eminem’s homophobic insult to the DeMarco Brothers by telling him “Eminem, quite frankly, I don’t care where you melt.”
— Yet ANOTHER surprisingly funny line, with Parnell warning Kattan, again in regards to Eminem, “He is a gangbanger! He will gangbang us!” You know, it’s too bad the dance portions of this sketch are so painfully unfunny and unwatchable, and Eminem’s delivery is so terrible and sluggish, because there is some good dialogue among the DeMarcos here.
— An awful and drawn-out ending.
STARS: **


MY BIG THICK NOVEL BY JACK HANDEY
shooting horses in chapter 852


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A good episode. Despite a couple of misfires (including a pretty disastrous monologue), the overall show had a lot of enjoyable sketches and a fun vibe for most of the night. Speaking of fun, Kirsten Dunst impressed me with how fun she was as a host. I wouldn’t have minded if she had hosted a second time in this era.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Alec Baldwin)
a slight step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Season 27 comes to an end, with host Winona Ryder. It’s also the last show for Will Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer.

Posted on

April 20, 2002 – Alec Baldwin / P.O.D. (S27 E18)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

BLAKE MURDER MYSTERY
Fox News Channel anchors are thrilled at prospect of Robert Blake trial

— A funny clip of O.J.-like footage of a white car driving on a freeway, which we’re told is footage of Robert Blake being taken to a police processing center. I also like Will’s delivery of “White car on the L.A. freeway, ya’ll!” (a line that I had always misrembered as being delivered by Parnell).
— I like Parnell’s laid-back performance as a celebrity scandal expert.
— Some pretty good laughs from the Fox News anchors’ excitement over this Robert Blake mess potentially being an O.J.-like scandal.
— Blah, I’m sick of Darrell’s overlong Geraldo Rivera bits this season. I’m apparently in the minority in that regard, as the audience always eats these Geraldo bits up.
— At least SNL’s showing some continuity, with Darrell’s Geraldo making a passing mention of his “Tour of Terror”, a reference to something established in the last Weekend Update commentary that Darrell’s Geraldo did.
— I love the Robert Blake-related soundbyte of gunshot sounds followed by audio of a man saying in a jokingly menacing voice “You little rascal!”
— I hope nobody lets Brian Fellow anywhere near THAT talking bird. I’m sure the only readers who will get that comment of mine are ones who are familiar with the Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet sketch from the last episode that I reviewed.
— An interesting unconventional “Live from New York…”, with it being delivered by a bird (voiced by Steve Higgins). And at least it’s a break from all the endless Ferrell/Hammond LFNYs we’ve been getting lately.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
Al Gore (DAH) gives host tips on how to get over presidential election

— I probably said this before, but I like how it’s a tradition at the beginning of Alec’s monologues for him to give the SNL Band their due by physically pointing them out.
— Darrell showing up as Al Gore to give Alec advice? I guess this is their way of following up Alec’s last monologue, in which Darrell gave him advice as Bill Clinton.
— Darrell’s Gore calling Alec out on his empty threat to move out of the country if George W. Bush got elected president is fairly funny.
— Could’ve done without this turning into a duet of “Accentuate the Positive”. What’s the point of that?
— An overall somewhat forgettable monologue that fizzled out at the end. Not one of Alec’s better monologues.
STARS: **½


KOTEX CLASSIC
Rerun from 3/16/02


GAY VOICEMAIL
(host) is perplexed that he sounds gay on his voicemail greeting

— I admit to getting a laugh from the first lispy-sounding voicemail, though I’m aware of the direction this sketch is going.
— A good laugh from Ana IMMEDIATELY confirming to Alec “No, that’s how you sound” before casually walking off, after hearing the gay-sounding playback of his voicemail.
— Alec now doing a cartoonishly deep, macho voice into the voicemail in an attempt make it avoid sound gay in the playback is pretty funny.
— Okay, after a while, I’m getting fairly tired of the joke of the increasingly gay-sounding voicemails, though the inclusion of Kylie Minogue music in the background of one gay-sounding voicemail was an amusing choice.
— Overall, I’ve seen some people say this is one of the better of SNL writer James Anderson’s endless myriad of gay stereotype sketches. I only half-agree, as I enjoyed this sketch at first, but then it kinda lost its luster for me halfway through. Still not terrible, though, especially compared to a lot of James Anderson’s gay-related material.
STARS: **½


WHITE MEN BLACK WOMEN
successful white men are dumping their wives for elderly black women

— Yet another drag role for Tracy, but he’s certainly very funny in this as Alec’s new elderly black girlfriend.
— A very inspired and funny premise, how this is treating the unusual concept of successful white men leaving their wives for elderly black women as a very commonplace cliche.
— The back-and-forth between Jimmy and Amy is solid.
— Dean is hilarious as Darrell’s Caribbean-accented elderly black girlfriend. I especially like his delivery of the line “I smack the white right off her!” Stuff like this makes me wonder why the hell SNL often treats Dean like a glorified extra and doesn’t use him more often.
— A particularly funny line from Tracy’s character about having to watch her sugar or she’ll lose her foot.
— I love Rachel’s angry rant.
STARS: ****½


OZZY
domesticated Ozzy Osbourne (HOS) is only intelligible while singing

— After we got a sample of Horatio’s imitation of Ozzy Osborne’s singing in the Just Enjoy The Ozzy sketch from season 24, we get the debut of Horatio actually playing Ozzy himself… in a regular SNL episode, that is. The actual debut of Horatio playing Ozzy himself was in a Celebrity Jeopardy sketch from one of the two “Primetime Extra” specials that SNL did in 2001.
— We also get the debut of Amy’s Sharon Osborne impression, which I’ve always found spot-on.
— Horatio’s mumbling as Ozzy is pretty funny, and, much like the aforementioned Just Enjoy The Ozzy sketch, Horatio continues to do a solid impression of Ozzy’s coherent singing voice.
— Very funny part with Alec requesting to an incoherently-speaking Ozzy, “Would you mind singing your lunch order?”, which Ozzy then proceeds to do perfectly. I especially love the “Diet Coke, HA HA HA HA! With ice, ice, ice!” bit.
— Damn, that was a good, long tender song from Horatio just now. He’s really been impressing me throughout this sketch.
— Amy’s silly facial expression while her Sharon Osborne is doing a doggy voice made her look remarkably like Rachel, oddly enough. (screencap below)

I remember always thinking back in these days that Amy and Rachel look like they could be real-life sisters, though I no longer see the resemblance all that often now that I’m older.
— During the long, bleeped-out argument between Sharon, Kelly, and Jack Osborne (the latter two played by Rachel and Parnell, respectively), audio of Amy, Rachel, and Parnell’s actual yelling can be heard under the bleeping. Most of that yelling is unintelligible to my ears, but at the very end of that yelling, I clearly heard Amy saying “MOTHERFUCKER!” twice. I’m guessing there was an audio glitch and we weren’t supposed to hear what Amy, Rachel, and Parnell were really yelling under the bleeping, and Amy apparently wasn’t aware that her yells of “MOTHERFUCKER!” were going out on the air. Does this technically put Amy in the prestigious “SNL cast member dropping an f-bomb on live TV” club?
— After Sharon, Kelly, and Jack walk off after the aforementioned bleeped-out shoutfest between them, I love the camera panning over to Horatio’s Ozzy silently staring at the camera with a deadpan look on his face.
STARS: ****


THE CARDINALS
Pope John Paul II (host) summons The Cardinals for a chastening

— A pretty fun badass intro sequence with various crime-fighting cardinals. I especially love the shot of Parnell casually speaking on the phone while loading his rifle.
— A great ending one-liner from Alec’s Pope, towards The Cardinals: “I got-a one thing to say to you guys: keep-a you peckers in your pants!” A good reference to the Catholic church sex abuse scandal in the news at the time.
— The way this sketch unexpectedly ends with Alec’s aforementioned one-liner, after being preceded by such a long and elaborate opening title sequence, kinda reminds me of the then-current Astronaut Jones recurring sketches. It also reminds me of other sketches SNL has done over the years that comically end with a very quick scene after a lengthy opening title sequence, including a “U.N. Weapons Inspectors” sketch that Jimmy does with Robert DeNiro the following season.
STARS: ***½


WEEKEND UPDATE
emotional Ally McBeal (RAD) sounds off about her show’s cancellation

Spider-Man star Tobey Maguire (SEM) is a nigh-comatose action movie hero

having taken her daughter (AMP) to work, TIF deals with insolent behavior

— Good to see Rachel’s Ally McBeal suddenly pop up, after the announcement of the cancellation of her TV show.
— A good heated rant from Rachel’s McBeal. (Which makes this Rachel’s second long, angry rant in tonight’s episode, by the way. She’s on fire tonight.)
— Seth is doing a pretty funny caricature of Tobey Maguire’s bland, lethargic demeanor, though future SNL cast member Taran Killam did a far more spot-on Tobey Maguire impression on MADtv during this same season.
— Interesting bit with Tina doing a segment with her (fictional) teenage daughter, Savannah Dakota Fey, played by Amy. Funnily enough, I think this fictional daughter of Tina’s is around the same age that Tina’s real-life first child, Alice, is today.
— I got a pretty good laugh from Tina suddenly and randomly asking her daughter “Do you take ecstasy?!?” right in the middle of their exchange just now.
— Something about this overall Update felt unusually short to me, even though it had three guest commentaries.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Youth Of The Nation”


BIRTHDAY LOVERS
Roger’s college roommate (host) attends surprise party thrown by Virginia

— Interesting beginning to this Luvahs sketch, with Virginia planning a surprise party for an about-to-arrive-home Roger. I believe this is the first (and perhaps ONLY?) time we’ve ever seen Roger and Virginia appear separated from each other.
— Akira Yoshimura! (the third above screencap for this sketch) Sightings of him have become so rare by this point of SNL’s run.
— Good character from Alec.
— Interesting how the non-Luvahs couples in this sketch are played by cast members who are often paired together as couples and always have fantastic chemistry with each other: Parnell & Ana, and Seth & Amy.
— During The Luvahs’ story about once making love on a cliff, Alec’s own anecdote about how he fell off the cliff while “playing with his balls” (as he puts it) as he watched The Luvahs’ lovemaking is absolutely hilarious. I particularly love him touting the “free-fall release” that he experienced during his mid-masturbation cliff fall as the greatest achievement of his life. This whole bit alone makes this one of the better Luvahs sketches.
— For some reason, Will starts breaking while he’s chewing on food.
— Aaaaaand there’s our unnecessary “Ow, my back” ending that these Luvahs sketches traditionally end with.
STARS: ***½


FRANCE
for anti-Semitism & snootiness, it’s time we got back to hating France

— A pretty funny France tourism ad pointing out all the unpleasant things about the country.
— The voice-over’s closing line: “With all that’s going on in the world, isn’t it about time we got back to hating the French?” Funnily enough, that actually would end up happening just a year later. Remember America’s soured relationship with France in 2003 (something to do with France opposing the War in Iraq), to the degree that congress would legally change the name of French fries to freedom fries?
STARS: ***½


THE TONY BENNETT SHOW
Liza Minnelli (MAR) & David Gest (CHK)

— This recurring sketch makes its debut.
— Alec is doing a great Tony Bennett here.
— Kattan makes his first and ONLY appearance of the entire episode. With this being the second time in these last three episodes I’ve covered that Kattan made only one appearance all night, in a sketch buried towards the end of the show to boot, you’d think Kattan would take this as a hint that his time on SNL is clearly beyond up and he would leave SNL at the end of this season, but nope. No matter how many clues he’s been given, the man STILL ends up returning next season. (*groan*)
— All that being said about Kattan, his facial expression as David Gest in this sketch is certainly amusing me.
— When addressing the gay rumors about David Gest (and I’ll just ignore the frustrating fact that this is YET ANOTHER sketch this season in which Kattan is either playing a gay guy or a guy accused of being gay), I admit to getting a lot of big laughs from Tony Bennett’s various euphemisms for Gest’s desire to have a partner with a penis. I particularly like Bennett asking Gest “Why would you build your house in a cherry orchard when you dig bananas?”
— A hilarious story from Tony Bennett about once making love to a woman’s foot for 7 hours before a nurse came in and said “Mr. Bennett… she’s gone.”
STARS: ****


TV FUNHOUSE
“The Anatominals Show” by RBS- LOM is embarrassed during senatorial visit

— The second and final Anatominals TV Funhouse.
— Not caring too much for the Anatominals portion of this, as a lot of it feels like its treading the same territory from the first Anatominals installment.
— Even the Lorne portion of this isn’t anywhere near as funny as the one from the first Anatominals installment.
— Okay, I do like Lorne and Senator Moynihan both saying “Bear got boobies!” when seeing the Anatominals on the TV monitor.
— Overall, a laugh here and there, but yeah, they clearly should’ve kept Anatominals a one-off.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Alive”


MY BIG THICK NOVEL BY JACK HANDEY
a clown with a knife in chapter 1345


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Yet another reliable Alec Baldwin episode. While this doesn’t seem to be one of the more remembered Baldwin episodes among SNL fans (though that may be due to the lack of airtime this episode has received. Hasn’t it been said that this episode has NEVER been re-aired on TV, for some very odd, unknown reason? I know NBC has never re-aired it, but what about cable channels like E! or VH1?), this had a solid quality to it, and a few great standout sketches.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (The Rock)
a mild step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Kirsten Dunst