Tag: 1993-94

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May 14, 1994 – Heather Locklear / Janet Jackson (S19 E20)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COFFEE TALK WITH LINDA RICHMAN
Linda & friend (host) have tickets to see Barbra in concert

— The final gasp of Season 19’s extreme oversaturation of Coffee Talk sketches.
— How many times in these Coffee Talk sketches are we supposed to be surprised at an announcement that Linda Richman got tickets to see Barbra in concert, as if that didn’t already happen before?
— Heather Locklear looks almost unrecognizable in that get-up, and is surprisingly pulling off this role well.
— I did at least get a laugh from Richman angrily referring to a caller as a “Nazi pig”.
STARS: *½


MONOLOGUE
host & PHH, KEN, CHF, Canteen Boy, Jay Leno [real] talk soap opera-style

— A predictable premise for a monologue spoofing Melrose Place, but there could be potential here.
— I like the rivalry being portrayed between Phil and Kevin.
— A big laugh from Heather suddenly slapping Melanie after kindly greeting her.
— Heather seems awfully fixated on those cue cards.
— Random Jay Leno cameo. At least I got to hear Heather call him an idiot, which was satisfying.
— Heather’s dramatic Melrose Place-esqe encounters with various performers, while kinda fun, are starting to get a little old.
— Random Canteen Boy appearance, showing up for the first time since his infamous encounter with Alec Baldwin’s scoutmaster.
— According to GettyImages, Julia had a part cut out of this monologue after dress rehearsal (pic here). I wonder if she played the part that Melanie ended up doing in the live version.
STARS: **½


EYCH
the hairball remover cats ask for by name

— A huge laugh from Ellen’s cat initially going “eych”.
— Hilarious visual of the cats “singing” the jingle, which really makes this commercial.
— The monkey ending almost feels like a precursor to the Bathroom Monkey fake ad that’s coming up early in the following season.
STARS: ****½


MELROSE PLACE
Wayne dreams that he’s with Amanda (host) in Melrose Place

 

— The audience initially seems confused as to why SNL is even attempting a Wayne Campbell sketch without Garth. I’m with you, audience.
— Do we really need two Melrose Place parodies so close to each other tonight?
— Wayne is just recycling a whole bunch of old jokes from earlier Wayne’s World sketches (e.g. “Here’s a quarter, buy a clue”, “She’d give a dog a bone”, comparing Vagina dentata to the title of a Police album, etc.), giving this Garth-less Wayne sketch even more of a sad, lazy feel.
— Okay, Wayne finally got a laugh out of me, with his “I seem to be allergic to emasculation” bit.
— The cast’s impressions of Melrose Place characters are going right over my head, as I’m not familiar enough with the show. Chris’ impression made me laugh, though.
— The running gag of Heather entering in different outfits and Wayne addressing it before saying “Never mind” is falling completely flat.
— Again tonight, Heather is fixated on the cue cards. Her delivery of some of her lines is AWFUL.
STARS: **


HOT BUTTON
Clarence Thomas (TIM) & Ted Kennedy (PHH) sexually harass

— Technically, this is the only actual sketch Phil ends up appearing in all night. I know they’ve been phasing Phil out this season, but how the hell do you use someone like him in only one sketch in his final episode?
— A one-note premise that’s already starting to get a little tired only a minute-and-a-half into the sketch.
— Okay, this has now been getting a little better, especially with the reveal of Phil’s Ted Kennedy posing as a caller.
— I love the running gag with Tim’s Clarence Thomas equating everything to porn titles.
— Kinda surprised by how short this overall sketch was.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Throb”


WEEKEND UPDATE
while giving a Whitewater editorial, homophobic NOM tells KEN to back off
ADS plays guitar & sings about his inappropriate “Summer Love” targets

— Here comes the final Kevin Nealon-anchored Weekend Update.
— Pretty tepid jokes from Kevin so far tonight, and the audience apparently agrees with me.
— Interesting how Norm is doing a commentary in Kevin’s final Update, considering who ends up taking over Kevin’s spot at the Update desk the following season. This is a nice unintentional passing of the torch.
— Norm doing a “homophobic perspective” is a funny meta, tongue-in-cheek spoof of Norm’s real-life views, though considering this is his first season, I’m assuming audiences at the time wouldn’t have gotten the meta-ness of this commentary.
— Noteworthy that Norm says to Kevin at one point “Go over some of your fake news and I’ll finish up here”, as Norm would famously introduce a lot of his own future Weekend Updates with “And now, the fake news”.
— Kevin’s jokes have been getting better, and I loved his random “Lord and Taylor” bit.
— Surprisingly, this is Adam’s first Update guitar song as himself this season.
— The mother reveal in Adam’s song is pretty funny.
— Ehh, the humor in Adam’s song is now dying off, and is paling badly in comparison to his previous Update songs as himself.
— During Adam’s song, we get a brief cutaway to Tim in the studio audience as his character from the Captain Jim & Pedro sketches, singing the words “Summer Love” while giving a thumbs-up. All I have to say about that is, SNL has really been trying to push these Captain Jim and Pedro sketches in the homestretch of this season.
— And thus ends Kevin’s final Weekend Update. I’m not clear on what the story is behind his departure from the Update desk. For years, I had always heard that he stepped down from Update voluntarily, because he felt Update was holding him back from appearing in more sketches (which is even sadder in hindsight, considering he would end up appearing in a significantly LESS amount of sketches the following season). But in more recent years, I’ve heard that he was actually fired from Update. Does anyone know the real story?
— According to GettyImages, this episode had a cut Chris Farley Weekend Update commentary that would later resurface as a bonus feature on his “Best Of” DVD, in which he plays a cigarette-smoking character named Jerry Sozio, who tells a rambling story that mostly just consists of him repeatedly going “So I says to the guy, I says, I says, I says…” (pic here), which would be reworked in the upcoming season 20 as a Point/Counterpoint Weekend Update commentary.
— Kevin’s overall tenure as a Weekend Update anchor was a letdown from how I had remembered it being in past viewings. Before doing these reviews, I had considered Kevin a not-great-but-still-fine Update anchor, I had really appreciated the Chevy Chase style he tried to bring back to the desk, and I had never really understood the criticisms many people seem to have of him as an anchorperson. But when covering his Updates in this SNL project, I’ve become quite disillusioned on his Update tenure. I was fine with his Updates for most of his first season, but towards the end of that season, I started feeling his Updates took on a disappointing blandly average quality, which is where it would stay for the following season 18, before getting even worse in season 19, where he seemed to really struggle at times and the studio audiences seemed to be over him. I’ve now come to fully understand the criticisms people have of him, even if I’m still not as down on his Update tenure as those people are. After getting through this pretty rough season of Update, all I have to say is, I welcome the upcoming new Update anchor with open arms, especially since he’s always been tied with Dennis Miller as my personal favorite Update anchor of all time.
STARS: ***


ACROSS THE BAR
in a bar, (KEN) tries to match (host)’s silent nontraditional flirtations

— I love Kevin’s dopey smile when Heather starts flirting with him.
— Very catchy 90s background music, and it’s adding a great touch to this sketch.
— A huge laugh from Heather randomly pulling her nose up and snorting.
— I love Kevin imitating everything Heather does, especially when does the same drawing of himself that Heather just did.
— Ha, I love the fact that Kevin kisses Norm on the lips, considering this is coming right after a Weekend Update in which Norm kept adamantly accusing Kevin of being gay and having the hots for him. Now THIS is a passing of the torch.
— Hilarious how after Heather’s bra-removal trick, Kevin just sits there frozen and stumped, not knowing how he can imitate that, then he just grabs Norm and kisses him once again. Norm noticeably starts cracking up this time.
— Great turn with the drinking of poison.
— Overall, a masterpiece. Why, oh, why couldn’t tonight be Kevin’s final episode? This sketch would’ve been a fantastic way to conclude his SNL tenure.
STARS: *****


60 MINUTES
Andy Rooney (NOM) reads addresses off letters he’s received

— Our third of season 19’s trilogy of solo Norm sketches with him impersonating a famous figure.
— Yet another solid celebrity impression from Norm.
— I love the brave anti-comedy of this, with Norm just slowly showing a long string of envelopes and saying where each is from, all the while the audience reacts almost uncomfortably. I recall seeing an old SNL newsgroup post from 1994 in which someone compared this sketch to the famous Sideshow Bob rake scene in The Simpsons, in that it’s funny at first, then stops being funny for a while when it keeps going on and on, then becomes funny again because it keeps going on and on. There’s also a very Andy Kaufman-esque quality to this sketch, and as someone who considers Andy Kaufman one of my comedy idols, it’s no wonder I love this sketch so much.
— Good ending with Norm’s Rooney detailing how he always sets fire to letters he receives and dumps it out of a window.
— A perfect sketch in my eyes, and it symbolizes so much of what I love about Norm’s divisive sense of humor.
STARS: *****


AMAZING TIME SAVERS
bigoted (host) sells pasta makers to home shoppers

— The name of Mike’s character, Richard Hayden, is also the name of David Spade’s character in the movie Tommy Boy, which I believe was filming at this time.
— Speaking of Mike’s name being Richard Hayden, Heather oddly called him “John” just now, for some reason. Cue card error?
— Hilarious turn with Heather’s character, as part of an analogy, casually mentioning the Holocaust being a lie, and then acting nonchalant about that statement while many phones ring off the hook.
— Very funny how Heather’s character keeps downplaying the Holocaust statement during calls she takes, and keeps trying to tie it back into the Pasta Maker machine.
— More laughs from Heather’s character now casually making racist comments about minorities.
— Heather’s performance in this sketch is fantastic.
— David playing a stoned caller discussing the different ways “rural” can be pronounced reminds me of a scene he would later do in the movie Black Sheep where he involuntarily gets stoned and finds various ways that “roads” can be pronounced. I believe both this sketch and Black Sheep are written by Fred Wolf, but I’m not sure.
— I love Mike’s very uncomfortable reactions throughout this. When something similar would later happen to him in real life in a certain Hurricane Katrina benefit incident with Kanye West, I bet Mike wished he had a table to hide under like he did in this sketch.
— A great touch at the end with a whole bunch of phones being heard ringing immediately after the un-PC ending disclaimer.
STARS: *****


L’HOMME D’ORGASME
Orgasm Guy visits his French cousin (Rafael Fuchs)

— I liked Rob’s tongue-in-cheek mention of Orgasm Guy being his most famous character.
— Who the heck is this Rob Schneider lookalike playing French Orgasm Guy? Odd how they’re letting a completely unknown person star in a sketch.
— A minute into this French scene, and Norm’s half-assed French accent has been the only laugh so far.
— Yeah, this sketch is falling terribly flat, especially when compared to the great first Orgasm Guy sketch.
— Overall, the only thing this sketch really succeeded in was breaking the streak of perfect post-Weekend Update sketches. Gee, thanks for that. If this was intended as Rob’s swan song, oof.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Any Time, Any Place”


SO LONG, FAREWELL
cast & recurring characters sing “So Long, Farewell” to end the season

— I absolutely LOVE this idea. An extremely fun and fitting way to close a season, and a very sweet idea for a sendoff for such an invaluable and irreplaceable cast member like Phil Hartman.
— David’s only two appearances of the whole night have been in drag.
— Interesting how the featured players are singing about their lack of airtime, which doesn’t really make sense in Norm’s case, especially given how much he dominated tonight’s episode.
— Speaking of Norm, you can tell by the awkward smile on his face that he feels silly about participating in this musical piece. The following season, he’s completely absent from the big Grease number in the John Travolta episode’s goodnights, so I’m guessing he had an aversion to doing musical pieces.
— I love that Richmeister and Pat sang the lyric “We skipped this year, and that’s why it was bad”. Nice way of acknowledging both the year-long absence of those two characters and the lack of quality of this season.
— Michael’s (in his ONLY appearance of the whole night) Laverne and Shirley bit is great.
— Ah, now Matt Foley is the only person remaining onstage, as the song slows down.
— When Phil says “I can’t think of a more dignified way… to end my 8 years on this program”, his voice is trembling in a way you can tell he’s holding back tears. I’m starting to feel emotional right now.
— And now I’m feeling even more emotional as we see the now-legendary visual of Phil singing goodbye to the slowly-zooming-away overhead camera as Matt Foley falls asleep in his arms. That’s something that, while probably touching even when it originally aired, would later take on a VERY touching, emotional meaning in retrospect after the untimely deaths of both Phil and Chris mere months apart.
STARS: *****


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A bit of an oddly structured season finale, in that the first half was shaky and iffy, but the second half was amazing. There were no less than FOUR sketches in the second half of this episode that got a five-star rating. Very, very impressive, and it more than makes up for the shaky first half. Not a bad way to end a season. Heather Locklear was a wildly inconsistent host, coming off terrible in some pieces (mainly the Wayne Campbell sketch), pretty good in one (Coffee Talk), and perfect in two (Across The Bar, Amazing Time Savers). She was also strangely absent from most of the post-Weekend Update half of the show, but considering her inconsistency and the fact that most of the post-Update half was on an absolute roll, that’s probably a good thing.

— This would end up being the final episode for Phil Hartman, of course, as well as Rob Schneider, Julia Sweeney, Melanie Hutsell, and Sarah Silverman, making this the largest number of cast departures in years. As for the legendary Phil Hartman, a.k.a. “The Glue”, just…. what is there to say? There are no words I can come up with that I feel can do justice to his greatness and importance to SNL, a greatness and importance that, in my opinion, has yet to be matched since then, and possibly never will. I just want to add that back when I first started this SNL project, Phil was one of the cast members who’s tenure I was most excited to cover, and now that I’ve completed it, I feel very honored. Rob Schneider, I’ve always felt had an underrated tenure, and I still feel that way, especially when covering season 18, which was a fantastic year for him. Unfortunately, his tenure didn’t end on the best note, as he took a step down his final season and became more hit-and-miss than usual. Julia Sweeney was a cast member who I’ve always felt was on the show at the wrong time. During these early 90s seasons, she struggled more and more as her tenure progressed and the Boys Club atmosphere of the show increased, culminating in a terrible final season in which her airtime was basically reduced to that of a typical featured player. If she were on during a better era for female cast members, I have no doubt she would’ve had a successful run and could’ve produced more recurring characters than just Pat. While I highly doubt she would’ve been a breakout star performer, she most likely would’ve been a solid Ana Gasteyer-type utility female. As I mentioned several times in earlier reviews, Melanie Hutsell is a performer I had always had disdain for in the past, but came into her tenure with an open mind during this SNL project. That ended up working to an extent, as I found myself being a lot less annoyed by her and starting to appreciate some of her comical supporting performances. I even developed an immunity to her mugging tendencies. However, I still don’t find her anything particularly great, and the sketches she starred in were usually more miss than hit. Sarah Silverman, I have almost nothing to say about, because she did next to nothing during her one-season tenure. Knowing what a big star she’d go on to become later in her career, her underusage on SNL feels like a huge missed opportunity on the show’s part, but I also wonder if Sarah’s young age at the time played a big part in that. Maybe she was just too green for the show back then.

— Season 19 as a whole was certainly a disappointing one, especially coming after the amazing long run of successful seasons from 1986-1993. The first half of this season, while still a big step down from what came before, actually wasn’t TOO bad, aside from the very rough Christian Slater episode. We even got a string of episodes ranging from okay to great in November and December. But as soon as the second half of the season arrived, the troubles for this season kicked into full gear. A lot of episodes were rough, certain sketches started having a low-energy feel and dead atmosphere, and strong episodes were much fewer and farther in between. Many unfortunate characteristics from the doomed upcoming season 20 also started arising during the last few months of this season. Even though I came into this season being prepared for all of those things, I wasn’t expecting to be depressed by the string of bad episodes from around February and March. I’m guessing the reason it was depressing to me this time, unlike in my previous viewings of this season, is because, due to the nature of this SNL project, I was now watching this season in the context of SNL’s entire timeline up to this point. I guess reviewing this season after having just reviewed the high-quality 1986-1993 years made the decline in the second half of this season harder to take. One consistently strong asset to this season was new featured player Norm Macdonald, who’s distinctive style was a welcome new addition to the show and he would often be the biggest or sole highlight of a sketch, especially during the particularly rough second half of the season.

— As a bonus, here’s a famous EW article from towards the end of this season, giving suggestions of how to fix SNL for season 20. I’m sure a lot of you have already read this article before, but I figured it would be a bit of a different experience to read it now, as we’re currently in the context of this period of the show.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (John Goodman)
a step up


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS ENTIRE SEASON, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS (Note: These picks were hastily made off the top of my head and will naturally be missing some deserving sketches. I don’t have enough time to do full, thought-out “Best Of” picks for this whole season)


HOW THIS OVERALL SEASON STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (1992-93)
a big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
The notorious season 20 begins, the last of the three most infamous seasons in SNL history. Steve Martin hosts the premiere, and we get a few new cast members, as well as a new Weekend Update anchor.

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May 7, 1994 – John Goodman / The Pretenders (S19 E19)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE 1994 NEW YORK GUBERNATORIAL DEBATE
New York governor hopefuls Mario Cuomo (PHH) & Howard Stern (MMK) debate

— Hmm, interesting casting of Melanie. This seems like the type of role that Julia would normally play.
— Fantastic Howard Stern impression from Michael. Easily the best thing he’s done during his SNL tenure so far.
— I always love Phil’s Mario Cuomo impression, but he’s just being used in a boring straight role here. I guess it wouldn’t be a season 19 episode without Phil Hartman being poorly utilized. Considering he’s playing the foil for Michael McKean in this cold opening, maybe this is intended to be a passing of the torch between the two of them.
— A pretty funny and accurate spoof of Stern’s behavior.
— An overall good sketch, but not quite as strong as I had remembered.
STARS: ***½


OPENING MONTAGE
— The theme music sounds quite different. The SNL Band would also use this different sound for the theme music in the following week’s season finale. Is this a sign of the SNL Band getting prepared for new SNL theme music next season?


MONOLOGUE
host comes clean to his mother about things he did as a kid

— John is sporting his dark Fred Flintstone-type hairstyle during tonight’s hosting gig, as he’s promoting the live-action Flintstones movie.
— He mentions in passing that this is his fifth time hosting. A shame they aren’t making a bigger deal of that.
— His confessions to his mother are not particularly funny so far.
— Okay, I finally got a laugh from a confession of his, with the one about grandma being kept locked in the basement.
— After a slow start, this monologue has been getting funnier. I like the bit regarding John’s mom once leaving him on the side of the highway when he was a kid.
STARS: ***


MAJESTIC CARIBBEAN CRUISE LINE
Rerun from 4/9/94


DOUBLE DATE
Captain Jim & Pedro go on a date with (host)’s daughters (MEH) & (SAS)
PHH asks for pledges to support Captain Jim & Pedro programming

— Did we need these characters returning after only TWO episodes? Also, why in the world is this the lead-off sketch of the night this time, especially when their previous appearance was in a more fitting spot late in the show?
— Much like these characters’ previous appearance, I’m not caring much for tonight’s installment so far. These sketches have the type of goofy charm that I usually get a kick out of, but like I said in my review of the first installment of this sketch, Adam’s silly-humored, goofy-voiced shtick has officially reached the point in his SNL tenure where it’s run out of steam for me.
— Nice continuity with Captain Jim mentioning recently getting hired at Foot Locker, which is a reference to the previous sketch these characters appeared in.
— I hate to ever criticize John Goodman, but he’s kinda bland as the straight man here. Kelsey Grammer made a much better straight man in the first installment of this sketch.
— I admit to smiling at Pedro’s ending line “A monkey will eat dirt… if you make him!” Don’t know why; it just made me smile. I guess as tired as I feel Adam’s goofy shtick has been starting to get at this late stage of his SNL tenure, there’s still an innocent charm left in it at times.
— The post-sketch bit with Phil doing a PBS-esque pledge drive is actually an improvement over the post-sketch bit they did with Michael McKean in the first Captain Jim & Pedro sketch. There’s some good humor in the fact that they’re holding such a big pledge drive for something as silly and mindless as a Captain Jim & Pedro piece.
— I love the visual of Phil wearing a goofy lobster hat while having that trademark straitlaced Phil Hartman smile (last screencap above).
STARS: **½


AMERICAN SPORTSMAN TODAY
Rush Limbaugh (CHF) & Ron Wood (MIM) hunt

— Mike’s unintelligible Ron Wood impression is cracking me up in this sketch. His impression works much better in a supporting role like this than in those terrible sketches they would later give him a starring role in the following season, where he interviews equally-unintelligible celebrities.
— Farley’s certainly no impressionist, but I kinda like his Rush Limbaugh.
— I got a good laugh from the visual of a cow blowing up.
— I love Phil-as-Charlton-Heston’s delivery of the line “Let’s clean it up and put it on the grill.”
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Night In My Veins”


WEEKEND UPDATE
DAS dislikes bands that have the balls not to play their hits at concerts

 

— Wow, this Update oddly starts with no audience applause AT ALL. Absolute dead silence in the studio.
— David, who’s apparently gotten tired of doing Hollywood Minute, debuts a new recurring Update segment in which he gripes about concerts he’s recently been to.
— I’m conflicted on David’s commentary. He has a lot of funny lines here, but I’m put off by his particularly lazy and half-assed delivery here, which is serving as an unwanted reminder of the bad, mailed-in performances he would often give in the upcoming season 20. I’m also finding his frequent “pure balls” comments in tonight’s commentary to be complete overkill. Still, he’s been making a lot of funny observations here.
— Kevin’s joke about Arsenio Hall retiring from his talk show to get some “stanky on his hangdown” has always been one of my personal favorite Kevin Nealon Weekend Update jokes of all time. Kevin has certainly had some struggles as an Update anchor over the years (especially this season), but that particular joke is a perfect use of his straitlaced, deadpan delivery. Not bad for what ends up being Kevin’s penultimate Weekend Update.
STARS: ***


REAL STORIES OF THE ARKANSAS HIGHWAY PATROL / COPS
Real Stories Of The Arkansas Highway Patrol- Bill Clinton (PHH) womanizes
Cops- Bill (PHH) & Hillary (JAH) Clinton are mum after a domestic dispute

 

— Interesting sketch, and I find the format fun. And as I mentioned in a recent review, it feels like a rarity in this era to see pre-taped outdoors footage (not counting fake ads).
— I love the camera zooming into Phil’s Bill Clinton gleefully giving the “okay” sign when Michael makes a woman he’s questioning bend over.
— A good laugh from Bill being heard sleazily saying his famous “I feel your pain” phrase while having sex with a woman in the back of a police car. Speaking of which, this entire scene (which involves Chris as a cop guarding a police car while Clinton and a woman are inside of it having sex) would later be removed from Comedy Central’s 60-minute version of tonight’s episode. My guess for the reason behind that removal is time reasons, because the sketch as a whole is quite long and Comedy Central probably needed a shorter version.
— Funny silent nervous facial expressions from Phil’s Bill throughout the phone call Rob takes from Hillary Clinton.
— And now we get a sudden turn with this segueing into a Cops parody. I’m enjoying how we’re getting two sketches in one, which feels like another rarity for SNL.
— I love the tense atmosphere in the domestic dispute scene with Bill and Hillary.
— Sadly, this would end up being the last of Jan Hooks’ frequent special guest appearances from seasons 18 and 19. Another sad last: this is the final appearance of Phil’s Bill Clinton impression, as tonight is Phil’s penultimate episode as a cast member. (*sigh*) What makes all of this hurt even more is knowing in retrospect what a HUGE misfire SNL’s attempt to replace the Bill and Hillary Clinton impressions the following season turns out.
STARS: ****


THEATRE STORIES
Christopher Walken (JAM) & Michael Caine (PHH) on panel

— Feels kinda late in the night for this recurring sketch to be appearing.
— This ends up being the final installment of this sketch, even though, unlike Phil, Mike isn’t leaving next week (though he certainly should be).
— Julia’s Dame Sarah Kensington character looks different than usual. Also, this is Julia’s first appearance of the whole night, pretty late in the show. Sadly, that’s common for her lately, though at least she’s actually playing a comedic role this time and isn’t just being wasted in yet another dull straight man role.
— Great to see Jay’s Christopher Walken impression finally become recurring.
— I loved the random “A man who needs no introduction” bit as the camera just shows John as an unknown character silently looking at the camera with his tongue goofily sticking out between his lips.
— Speaking of John, he actually appeared in a previous Theatre Stories sketch, but the character he played in that one is apparently different from the one he’s playing tonight, as both characters have a different name.
— This is the first time Phil’s funny Michael Caine impression has been seen in years. I think the Mary Tyler Moore episode from way back in season 14 was the last time it appeared.
— What was the point of Phil’s Michael Caine randomly sneezing in the middle of his story?
— Never mind; I see now that the point of Caine’s random sneeze was apparently so Mike’s character would imitate it when repeating the entire story that Caine had just told.
— I liked Jay’s Walken saying “That reminds me of a very funny story…..”, then just staying completely silent.
— This installment of Theater Stories has been featuring funny randomness as usual for these sketches, but there’s kind of a “been there, done that” atmosphere to this installment. Probably a good thing this ends up being the final installment.
STARS: ***


PLUCKY NINJAS
beaten, incompetent ninjas regroup & plan their next encounter

— I love the format of this. A good and fun ensemble piece. I’ve always felt this is an underrated sketch.
— A lot of funny lines in the guys’ suggestions.
— Hilarious reveal of Adam having a ninja star stuck in his forehead. I also like the facial reactions from Rob and Mike.
— I know some people are bothered by the extended use of movie stock footage at the end, in which a guy kicks the asses of an entire army of ninjas one-by-one, as some people feel that’s extreme laziness on SNL’s part (especially since the sketch also opened with different stock footage of a group of ninjas getting their asses kicked), but I personally have no complaints. At least this stock footage is entertaining, in a “cheesy 80s/90s ninja movie” way, and I feel it matches up with the live portion of the sketch humorously.
STARS: ****


PHILADELPHIA ACTION FIGURES
Another rerun tonight, this time from 2/5/94


IN HIS OWN WORDS
Michael Bolton (KEN) album contains non-original songs

— I always like Kevin’s Michael Bolton impression.
— Some good laughs from Bolton’s “original” songs just being another artist’s famous song with only one word changed.
— Pretty funny duet between Bolton and his “father” Nat King Cole.
— Good ending with Bolton “creating” the Happy Birthday melody by pressing random keys on a piano.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “I’ll Stand By You”


FLINTSTONES NAMES
host explains how to convert regular names into Flintstones names

— The format of this, mainly the use of placards, reminds me a little of Tim Kazurinsky’s Dr. Jack Badofsky commentaries from the Dick Ebersol era.
— A few funny bits early on, like Sharon Stone’s Flintstones name being Sharon Miller, and the meta bit with Chris Farley’s Flintstones name being Chris Rock.
— After the two aforementioned funny bits, this sketch has lost steam FAST.
— John’s trying, but I can tell he knows this material is bad. This sketch is dying.
STARS: *½


TAXI TRIVIA
while (host) & (JUS) are in his cab, (ROS) talks of killer taxi drivers

— I love the disturbing premise, and I like the idea of Rob being cast as an unsettling-but-friendly character, but I’m being disappointed by the execution so far, which feels kinda flat and one-note.
— The sketch at least ended on a good note, as I absolutely loved the ending with the creepy close-up of Michael turning to the camera with a sinister smile. Michael’s had a strong night tonight in general.
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A decent episode, especially compared to most episodes in the back half of this season. Not an outstanding episode, but I felt a lot of the sketches tonight ranged from okay to pretty good, and there were two sketches I felt strongly about (Plucky Ninjas and Real Stories of the Arkansas Highway Patrol / Cops). Even the Captain Jim & Pedro sketch, while still nowhere near great to me, was a little better than usual. The show ended on a disappointing note with two sketches that fell flat, but aside from that, the overall episode wasn’t weighed down too much by the usual season 20 warning signs that have been dragging down a lot of the latter season 19 episodes. John Goodman added his usual solid, likable vibe to the show.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Emilio Estevez)
a step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Season 19 comes to an end, with host Heather Locklear. It’s also the end of the road for several cast members, including the amazing Phil Hartman.

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April 16, 1994 – Emilio Estevez / Pearl Jam (S19 E18)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

CANING
Michael Fay (host) gets his punishment from a friendly caner (KEN)

— A funny idea for a spoof of the Michael Fay caning incident.
— A perfectly Kevin Nealon-y concept, and great execution of it by him. I love his casual, friendly performance as the caner, and how he’s a little too eager about his job.
— Knowing how the upcoming season 20 goes for Kevin (hint: not well at all), I guess we can consider this sketch one of the final successful displays of his brand of humor.
— Poor utilization of Phil, but what else is new for season 19?
— A huge laugh from Kevin’s story about caning a dead guy.
— The good news/bad news bit at the end, with Rob delivering “Live from New York…” as bad news while looking into the camera with an apologetic face, appears to be a self-deprecating jab at SNL’s declining quality and the fact that viewers have recently developed a lot of ire towards the show. At least that was the theory on the SNL newsgroup back when this episode originally aired (read here and here). There’s kind of a sad quality to that self-deprecating jab, especially with how the audience is oddly silent after that “Live from New York…” and don’t applaud until after the theme music and opening montage starts. (Reruns would later fix this by adding in canned applause after the “Live from New York…”.)
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
(no synopsis available)

— Nothing special overall. A promising idea, updating us on what the Brat Pack is up to nowadays, but aside from one or two chuckleworthy lines, the result was fairly forgettable, and all the jail stuff at the end was overkill.
STARS: **


GEEK DWEEB OR SPAZZ
cool kids identify types of high school outcasts

— Interestingly, Ellen’s character is named Serena Williams.
— I loved Adam’s line “Yeah, Steven Tyler sang at my bar mitzvah.”
— I’m kinda iffy on the premise, as it has the type of mean-spirited, sneering tone that both this and (especially) the following season are negatively associated with, but I can look past that and enjoy the sketch, as it’s being executed well.
— I’m getting good laughs from David’s character, who appears to be a more fleshed-out version of the “shweet!” character he briefly played in the Bike Messenger sketch earlier this season.
— Good turn with Emilio’s unexpectedly bad-ass character.
— I love Adam’s quivery-voiced “No more questions” and “I swear to god, just leave me alone” responses to Emilio.
— Another good turn, with it being revealed what Emilio was like at his previous high school.
STARS: ***½


THE WHITEWATER FOLDER
host in latest movie based on a John Grisham book

— Interesting format for a topical Whitewater parody.
— During Emilio’s rapid typing, I love the reveal where the computer monitor shows that he’s just typing gibberish.
— The unnecessary repetition of car explosions and Emilio subsequently yelling a stiff “Noooo” into the camera is overkill.
— The overall sketch was kind of a letdown. What could’ve been an interesting sketch ended up being forgettable and a little bland. I wonder if this would’ve been executed better if it were done as a pre-taped movie trailer.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Not For You”


WEEKEND UPDATE
KEN gives a subliminal editorial about flogging in Singapore
Operaman sings a medley about Whitewater, Singapore, Eddie Vedder

 

— Here comes a Subliminal Editorial, which IIRC, ends up being Kevin’s last one ever during his tenure as Update anchor.
— Tonight’s overall Subliminal Editorial ended up being Kevin’s best one in a good while. (I’ll just ignore the fact that he stumbled over the Leona Helmsley bit.) The bit with him subliminally mentioning Pee Wee Herman when talking about a public “beating” especially had me howling. Good to see Kevin’s subliminal routine go out on a good note.
— Operaman’s appearances have been strangely scarce this season, compared to how frequently he appeared the preceding season.
— Operaman’s overall commentary tonight was particularly solid, especially the Singapore bit, “Coppa-feelo!”, and the very memorable Eddie Vedder bit.
STARS: ***½


HOW MUCH YA BENCH?
supposedly steroid-free weightlifters take some calls

— This seems to be a fairly popular sketch, but I’ve always felt it was overrated. I usually still enjoy it to an extent, though.
— Phil’s tough guy voice-over at the beginning always cracks me up whenever I watch this. It feels a little weird, though, hearing Phil do new voice-overs at this late stage of his SNL tenure, maybe because it sometimes feels like he’s starting to do more voice-overs than actual sketch appearances (a.k.a. the Chris Parnell treatment).
— Funny reveal of the performers each having fake skinny, tiny legs (minus David, who’s apparently considered skinny and tiny enough that his real legs are being used).
— A screaming Chris Farley role, but I admit his energy is actually coming off contagious in this sketch so far.
— Ha, and now David even acknowledged Chris’ contagious energy, by following up one of Chris’ rants by initially saying “I can’t follow his energy. HOWEVER–”, which has me wondering if it was an ad-lib.
— I loved Emilio’s “It’s my guess we lost a few callers with that one” line after Adam showed off his nasty back hair.
— The homophobic jokes peppered throughout this sketch make me realize that there’s been an unusually large amount of homophobic jokes in tonight’s episode in general (e.g. Adam guessing that David’s “shweet!” character in the Geek Dweeb or Spazz sketch is a “homo”, Kevin subliminally calling Operaman a “queer” after his confessed feelings for Eddie Vedder, etc.). A sign of the growing homophobia and misogyny that soon comes to a head in season 20. I recall Julia Sweeney once saying in an interview that one of the many reasons she was so miserable working at SNL this season is because of all the rampant homophobic jokes thrown around backstage. According to her, Norm Macdonald was the king of homophobic jokes. While I love Norm, that’s not hard for me to believe AT ALL.
— We get a sudden breaking-the-fourth-wall turn with Charlie Sheen calling and threatening his brother Emilio. Is that really the voice of Charlie Sheen on the phone? Unlike the previous callers, who’s voices were clearly coming from inside SNL’s studio, “Charlie Sheen’s” lines sound like they’re really being delivered via phone.
— When talking about this sketch in his SNL book, Jay Mohr gripes about the fact that the audience was completely dead for all of his lines despite laughing consistently at his more popular scene partners. He’s not wrong: his lines ARE being met with uncomfortable silence from the audience, yet the audience is eating up all the Farley and Sandler stuff. But here’s the thing: Jay’s delivery in this sketch is TERRIBLE. I think perhaps that may have a little something to do with your lack of audience reactions, Jay.
— Okay, Chris’ screaming rants in this sketch are starting to get tired.
— Overall, not a bad sketch as a whole, but yeah, it’s still overrated in my eyes. It also could’ve used some serious trimming, as it was too long.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Rearviewmirror”


THE HERLIHY BOY GRANDMOTHER SITTING SERVICE
he wants to bathe, marry her

— Aaaaaaaand season 19 continues to run this “Only funny the first time” Herlihy Boy idea into the ground.
— Even Adam’s delivery seems a little off compared to the previous Herlihy Boy sketches.
— Speaking of Adam, he’s been dominating tonight’s episode.
— Chris’ look seems to change every time they do this Herlihy Boy sketch. The first installment had him with a dark wig, the second installment had him with a gray wig, and now he has glasses (comparisons below).

— Chris is ALREADY exaggerating and overacting his delivery right from the start, when he’s supposed to be speaking calmly the first minute or so. He’s ruining the whole concept of his character, who’s supposed to start off low-key and rational, and then gradually build up to crazy screaming rants.
— Yeah, this sketch isn’t working for me at all. The magic from the first Herlihy Boy installment, which was still around slightly for the second installment, is officially gone by now. And Chris’ screaming rants are falling completely flat for me.
— Oh, and speaking of which: TWO screaming Chris Farley roles back-to-back tonight? I feel like I’m already in season 20.
— Okay, 3 or 4 minutes into this, I finally got a laugh, just from the unexpectedness of Herlihy Boy bluntly saying “Let me shave your grandmother’s beard.”
— Emilio’s interjection is actually funny, unlike when they tried to do a similar thing with Jason Patric in the preceding Herlihy Boy installment.
— You can tell Chris is trying particularly hard to make Adam crack up throughout this sketch. Well, I’m glad SOMEBODY’S having a good time during this sketch, because I’m sure not.
— This sketch is going on too long for something that’s just an endless cycle of “Please let me (insert innocent thing here) your grandma” and “For god’s sake, let the boy (insert innocent thing here) your grandma!” 6 minutes of that, people. 6 minutes! END THIS ALREADY.
— This at least ended on a funny note, with Jim Downey’s deadpan voice-over saying “He loves your grandmother because he is your grandmother. I don’t know what that means.”
STARS: *½


POKER BILLY
stupid Poker Billy (host) doesn’t know how to play the card game

— This sketch is AWFUL so far. Just the same unfunny joke being repeated over and over and over and over and over and over. Yet ANOTHER unpleasant characteristic of season 20 that we’re seeing a preview of tonight.
— I want to like Michael’s musical narration, but it’s doing nothing for me.
— Chris, in one of his lyrics: “Even though it’s clear we’ve gone on way too long…” Truer words have never been spoken about this sketch.
— Julia makes her first and only appearance of the episode, in a very small straight role in the final sketch of the night. (*sigh*) It’s becoming more and more obvious that the end is near. This has been a terrible final season for her.
— Overall, not a single redeeming factor to be found here.
STARS: *


DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY

— Man, even THIS fell flat for me, which is unheard of for a Deep Thoughts.


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Daughter”


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Only marginally better than the weak episodes that have been dominating the back half of this season. Most of what was good tonight was solid and memorable, but I found that there was an equal amount of bad stuff, particularly some of the dreadful and insufferable things towards the end of the show. I also don’t like how overly long some of the sketches were – thanks to that, there was an unusually low number of only FIVE sketches all night, though another reason for that is because Pearl Jam got three musical performances (then again, so did Aretha Franklin a month earlier, yet that episode had LOTS of sketches). Another thing hurting my enjoyment of this episode is the fact that I couldn’t help but see so many warning signs of the doom that awaits us in season 20 (e.g. unfunny one-joke sketches, homophobia, overreliance on Chris Farley screaming and overacting, sketches with a mean-spirited and sneering tone, etc.). I noticed those warning signs in previous viewings of this episode, but back then, I was able to ignore them and still enjoy the episode. I think the warning signs bother me more now because I’m going to actually have to review all of season 20 just three episodes from now.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Kelsey Grammer)
a mild step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Our annual John Goodman episode. Goodman’s apparently a last-minute substitution, as tonight’s episode had a bumper announcing Heather Locklear as the next host. A scheduling conflict must’ve ended up occurring with Locklear, as she would instead host the episode after next.

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April 9, 1994 – Kelsey Grammer / Dwight Yoakham (S19 E17)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

INVESTMENT TIPS
Hillary Clinton’s (JAH) investment advice- cattle futures yes, land no

— Michael McKean seemed to miss his cue to speak at the beginning (new cast member greenness?), causing this cold opening to awkwardly begin with him, Julia, and Kevin just sitting there in extended silence before he finally speaks.
— Reruns of this cold opening add in canned applause when the camera first cuts to Jan’s Hillary.
— Feels good seeing Jan for the first time since the first half of the season. She must be busy this season, as she hasn’t been making anywhere near the amount of special guest appearances that she made the preceding season.
— Some pretty good laughs from Hillary’s tips all being stuff she obviously learned from the Whitewater scandal.
— That’s it? This overall cold opening felt unusually short and, while still decent as a whole, didn’t feel like it used Jan’s Hillary to its full potential.
STARS: ***


OPENING MONTAGE
— The montage and theme music would later be replaced in reruns with the dress rehearsal version, as would Kelsey Grammer’s entrance. The reason is because when the opening montage ends in the live show, the camera crossfades to an accidental shot of the studio audience instead of crossfading to the usual close-up of the SNL logo on the home base stage’s “rooftop”.
— Speaking of the SNL logo on the home base stage, there’s an odd difference between the dress rehearsal and live versions of tonight’s episode: the dress version shown in reruns has the city skyline from the Frasier logo imprinted in the middle of the SNL logo (a practice that was common this season, in which the SNL logo on the home base stage would have something imprinted in its middle that pertains to that night’s host or a holiday that’s approaching), whereas the live version has NOTHING in the middle of the SNL logo (side-by-side comparison below).

Why did they remove the Frasier skyline logo in between dress rehearsal and the live show???


MONOLOGUE
host denies he’s wearing a wig until Sy Sperling [real] confronts him

— I like Kelsey casually entering in a wig and not even addressing it when starting his monologue.
— A good laugh from him claiming his famous receding hairline on Frasier is just him wearing a very convincing bald cap.
— Very funny part with some kind of grabbing tool entering the shot from off-camera, attempting to remove Kelsey’s wig, and it eventually being revealed that a ladder-perched Chris Farley is the one doing that.
— A decent Sy Sperling cameo.
STARS: ***½


MAJESTIC CARIBBEAN CRUISE LINE
Majestic Caribbean Cruise Line has it all, including Manute Bol [real]

— A delightfully random use of Manute Bol, and there’s some good laughs from him being everywhere on the ship, much to Rob and Melanie’s growing discomfort.
STARS: ***½


INHIBITED DANCE PARTY USA
the least introverted couple is (host) & (MEH)

— A lot of good accuracy in everyone’s inhibited performances, and as a painfully shy person myself, I can relate to this premise.
— Despite being able to relate to this sketch, I’m still not enjoying it all that much. It feels a little too dull and slow for the lead-off sketch of the night.
— Good turn with the unexpected wild dancing from Melanie and Kelsey.
— I don’t get the ending with Adam laughing mockingly at Melanie and Kelsey, and Chris sarcastically telling them “Great job”. That makes no sense to me. I thought the whole point was to be the least inhibited couple.
STARS: **


YANKEE STADIUM OPENING DAY
Rudolph (KEN) & Andrew (CHF) Giuliani at a Yankee game full of foul balls

— The return of Kevin and Chris’ Rudy and Andrew Giuliani impressions, from a memorable cold opening earlier this season.
— Boy, this sketch has been AWFUL so far, and is completely devoid of what made the Giuliani Inauguration cold opening work. And I don’t like how they’re trying to make a recurring character out of an impression that should’ve remained a one-off, as it was originally just intended as a caricature of how Andrew Giuliani acted at the real inauguration.
— The increasingly-unfunny one-joke premise of Chris in the stands constantly getting hit by baseballs from off-camera feels like a precursor to a season 20 sketch that I’ve always considered to be a microcosm of a lot of things wrong with that season, in which Chris is in the stands at SeaWorld and constantly gets splashed by water from off-camera, always resulting in him yelling “SON OF A BITCH!” (which would pretty much be Chris’ catchphrase that season).
— The repeated joke of Chris’ crying abruptly stopping when Kelsey brings him food is getting really old.
— I hate to say it, as Chris is still somewhat in my good graces by this point of his SNL tenure (unlike in the upcoming season 20), but he’s annoying the HELL out of me in this sketch.
— I finally got a laugh, during the part with Tim’s David Dinkins pointing out the unusual place he and his wife are seated.
— Boy, I almost feel sorry for Kelsey, who’s playing a completely useless role in which all he does is repeatedly get up and say in an irritated manner “I’ll be right back” whenever Andrew Giuliani requests a snack. Hell, a featured player could’ve played Kelsey’s role here. Jay Mohr, where you at?
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Pocket of a Clown”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Mustafa Mohammed (TIM) says that today’s problems are caused by whiteness
CHF & DAS offer takes on their spring break trip to Cancun

— I love the use of the famous talk show clip of Jim Rome getting shoved backwards out of his chair by an angry Jim Everett. I never get tired of seeing that clip.
— Boy, do I hate Kevin’s habit of ad-libbing pointless addendums (e.g. “Something to think about”) to jokes that receive a tepid audience reaction. He’s had that habit for quite a long time, but it’s been particularly rampant this season. That shows he has no confidence in some of the material he’s performing. (*sigh*) Only three episodes left until Norm takes over……..
— Tim’s overall “white” rant was delivered well, and I got a laugh or two.
— The punchline to Kevin’s Zima Taste Test bit (“Tastes like zhit”) was funny, but according to an old SNL newsgroup post from this time in 1994, that punchline was already a very common joke on the internet before SNL used it. (The newsgroup post is here. By the way, read the whole thread if you’re curious what SNL fans in 1994 thought about tonight’s episode back when it originally aired).
— Chris and David’s commentary is very silly, but I’m getting some laughs from some of the demonstrations they do when going “You were like…..”.
— David, regarding how pointless his and Chris’ commentary is: “Everyone at home’s going ‘hmm?’” Chris: “No, they’re going ‘click!’ (*mimes pressing a button on a remote control*)”. Considering the declining ratings this season, that’s probably very true.
— I didn’t like the ending of Chris and David’s commentary, with them just carelessly hamming it up to obnoxious degrees. I know that was just a brief bit with them having fun, but that feels like a precursor to their (and Sandler’s) obnoxious, crass, self-indulgent, unprofessional performances that will be part of what plagues the upcoming season 20.
— I loved Kevin’s line after Chris and David left: “Those two should’ve gone to Singapore. They could use a good caning”, referring to the infamous then-recent Michael Fay caning incident (which would be spoofed in the cold opening of the following week’s Emilio Estevez episode).
STARS: ***


20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA
Captain Nemo (host) tries to explain units

— What’s with the awkward camerawork at the beginning of this sketch, as Mike, Phil, and Rob are waiting a very long time for Kelsey to stop playing the organ? That’s making the beginning of this sketch feel very dead.
— Hilarious and dead-on Peter Lorre voice from Rob.
— Phil’s Kirk Douglas voice is also very funny.
— Mike seems kinda out of place being paired with Rob’s Lorre and Phil’s Douglas, as he hasn’t been adding much of value. This is also his only appearance of the whole night. Kinda symbolic of the step down he’s taken lately in general, which only gets worse the following season.
— This is a polarizing sketch. People either hate it and find it to be a stupid, unfunny one-joke sketch, or people find that the sketch works because of its stupidity and one-joke nature. I’ve always gone back-and-forth on which side I fall on, but during this current viewing right now, I’m on the “The sketch works because of its stupidity and one-joke nature” side. This is the type of “stupid people fail to grasp a simple concept” sketch that usually tickles me. Kelsey’s growing frustration as Captain Nemo is also cracking me up.
— I love an irritated Captain Nemo telling Phil’s character “You are not allowed to speak any more!”
— I’m getting some good laughs from the epilogue ending with the screen crawl, in which “20,000 leagues” is used as practically every other word (made even more amusing by the fact that it’s being read in Phil’s funny Kirk Douglas voice), followed by audio of Kelsey’s Captain Nemo being heard yelling “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
STARS: ***½


SUNDAY MORNING WITH CHARLES KURALT
sex with women met on the road

— Excellent makeup on Norm. I remember the first time I saw this sketch, I spent most of it racking my brain trying to figure out which cast member that was playing Charles Kuralt, before just giving up.
— Great reveal of what Kuralt will miss the most about his life on the road: the sex.
— So many laughs from Kuralt’s slowly delivered, long-winded stories, and how they each end with him having sex with the woman who he has just described in kind detail. This is killing me.
— I like the fake-out with Kuralt bringing up the name of a man, making you think that’s the next person Kuralt will reveal he had sex with, only for it to be revealed that the man convinced his wife to have sex with Kuralt while he watched.
— I loved Norm’s delivery of the line “None of them were very attractive… even by backwoods standards.”
— A hilarious ending line about autoerotic asphyxiation.
— Very strong sketch overall.
STARS: ****½


SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD IN STINKVILLE
(host) & (ELC) sniff it

— Really, SNL? Are you kidding me with this premise?
— Boy, this is dead so far.
— Okay, I admit to getting a laugh from the turn with a fed-up Kelsey saying “That’s it, honey – get me the cat’s ass”, but this sketch is still dumb, dumb, dumb.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Fast as You”


FOOT LOCKER
Captain Jim (TIM) & Pedro (ADS) compete for a job at Foot Locker
MMK tells how you can read more about Captain Jim & Pedro

— The debut of a short-lived Meadows/Sandler recurring sketch.
— Uh… interesting voice on Adam.
— I’ve never known how to feel about these weird Captain Jim & Pedro sketches, but I think it’s safe to say I’ve never liked them much. I want to like their absurdity, and I typically enjoy Adam’s mindless, silly-humored, goofy-voiced shtick in his earlier seasons, but I’ve always been of the opinion these Captain Jim & Pedro sketches pretty much mark the official point where that shtick of Adam’s finally wore out its welcome (your mileage may vary). That opinion of mine has not changed during this current viewing.
— Captain Jim reading his very silly acceptance speech in such a dramatic manner is kinda making me smile, as is the cutaway to a crying Pedro giving a thumbs-up in the audience.
— I didn’t feel the post-sketch bit with Michael advertising Captain Jim & Pedro books was necessary.
STARS: **


DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY

— It’s sad how scarce these Deep Thoughts have become this season.


SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD IN STINKVILLE
it could be the sandwich

— Oh, no, a runner. I’m getting unwanted flashbacks to the trilogy of terrible Disney sketches from the then-recent Nancy Kerrigan episode.
— Kelsey cracking up during his line “Oh, shut up and get me the cat’s ass!” completely saved this weak piece. I’m sure Kelsey’s laughing because he’s fully aware that this sketch is stupid.
STARS: ***


IRON JOHN: THE MUSICAL
(host) & other manly guys sing “I Am A Man” from Iron John, The Musical

— In an episode filled with dumb, sophomoric premises and one-joke material, a sketch like this with an interesting, unconventional, and mature-seeming concept is very welcome.
— I could do without Chris’ overacting, which is a bit much and doesn’t fit the tone of this sketch. All my negative comments about Chris tonight make me wonder if, much like Adam, we’ve officially reached the point where his shtick has finally run out of steam. Just wait till I get to the following week’s Emilio Estevez episode, in which I have to deal with TWO back-to-back sketches that feature Chris screaming his way through.
— Hmm, not sure what to think of this sketch so far. I admire what they’re doing, but I haven’t been all THAT entertained. I think I just kinda like it merely because it’s so different from the dumb, juvenile sketches that have been dominating the night.
STARS: **½


SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD IN STINKVILLE
the town name changes

— Why even bother with a third one of these, when they’ll never be able to top Kelsey’s gaffe in the second one?
— Rob’s delivery of his lines about Michael being an insane liar are kinda making me laugh.
— When Kelsey says to Ellen “Even though the cat doesn’t stink anymore, we’ve always got your smelly–”, his line suddenly gets cut off by a mock disclaimer, warning viewers of the following word that Kelsey’s going to end his sentence with, which makes you think the word is going to be a certain part of the female anatomy (it instead just innocently ends up being “feet”). I wonder if that’s supposed to be a subtle jab at Martin Lawrence’s controversial feminine hygiene rant from a few episodes earlier. Either way, this bit isn’t working for me.
STARS: *½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Well, I see this season’s upswing in quality with the preceding episode was short-lived, as we’re sadly back to mediocrity. While not as rough as some of the then-recent episodes, this was still a pretty drab episode. The theme of tonight seemed to be dumb, sophomoric humor and thin, one-joke concepts (in other words, the type of material that would dominate the upcoming season 20). Even one of the few sketches I actually liked, 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, had a thin, one-joke premise (though it actually worked in that sketch’s favor, which is more than I can say for stuff like that Giuliani baseball sketch). Overall, a pretty dead-feeling episode, with the show only really coming alive for me in the first 8 or so minutes and in the first two post-Weekend Update sketches (20,000 Leagues Under The Sea and Sunday Morning with Charles Kuralt).


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Helen Hunt)
a fairly big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Emilio Estevez

Posted on

March 19, 1994 – Helen Hunt / Snoop Doggy Dogg (S19 E16)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

ROCKERS TO HELP EXPLAIN WHITEWATER
Cindy Crawford [real] introduces Rockers To Help Explain Whitewater video

— We get yet another very fun “We Are the World”-esque sketch in this era.
— Interesting how, unlike this era’s other “We Are the World”-esque sketches, this one has the lyrics captioned on the bottom of the screen, I guess because of the educational factor of the song.
— As always, it’s fun to guess which singer each cast member is playing.
— Boy, Mike’s Garth Brooks impression is almost laughably bad.
— I remember when I first saw this cold opening early in my SNL fandom, during a Comedy Central rerun, I couldn’t tell that was Michael McKean playing Elvis Costello (dead-on impression, by the way), probably because I was under the common misconception that McKean was only a cast member in season 20. I assumed that was either Al Franken or Phil Hartman playing Costello, until noticing that Phil was in this as Elton John.
— David is playing Kurt Cobain in what ends up being the last live episode before Cobain’s suicide a few weeks later.
— Interesting how all of this season’s non-Al Franken featured players (Norm, Jay, and Sarah) are paired together here. And Norm looks hilarious as Flea from The Red Hot Chili Peppers, because he’s so insanely miscast in the role that it becomes funny in itself.
— I like the various singers’ rapid singing of lengthy lyrics, reaching a pinnacle during Adam-as-Axl-Rose’s unintelligibly rapid solo.
STARS: ****½


MONOLOGUE
host shows clips of her roles in Swiss Family Robinson & The Bionic Woman

— I know some people find this monologue dull, but I’ve always found this pretty cute and charming, seeing childhood clips of Helen Hunt from her early TV career.
— Some good laughs from the Bionic Woman clip of Helen explaining she’s from outer space.
— A huge laugh from the outrageous After-School Special clip of her jumping through a window after taking angel dust.
STARS: ***


TOTAL BASTARD AIRLINES
Total Bastard Airlines employees say their “buh-byes” to passengers

— A very famous sketch, and a quintessential use of David Spade’s persona.
— A great opening start with Jim Downey’s dry, blunt voice-over.
— While a one-note sketch in theory, it’s being executed perfectly.
— I love the exchange between Adam and David.
— Another part I particularly love is David’s whole run-on rant to Tim.
— Solid ending with David requesting an escort through the terminal.
STARS: *****


COFFEE TALK WITH LINDA RICHMAN
Linda & host discuss which Oscar nominees they like

— This overused recurring sketch makes yet ANOTHER appearance this season. At this point, I honestly lost count.
— An audio glitch when the first caller is speaking, causing her to barely be audible.
— No idea what to say about this overall installment, except I wasn’t laughing, as usual. I could’ve used Richard Simmons again to add some much-needed energy, or Charlton Heston again to add an awkward charm.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Gin & Juice”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Dick Vitale (JAM) gives his March Madness-flavored Oscar predictions
Bennett Brauer lists reasons why he doesn’t belong on TV, then flies

— My god, Kevin has been having an AWFUL start in tonight’s Update. He’s been stumbling over his words left and right, even moreso than usual, and some of his jokes are being met with painful silence from the audience. (*sigh*) Only four episodes left until Norm takes over……..
— I love the clip they just showed of President Clinton saying “No!” over and over while simultaneously banging his fist on a podium repeatedly.
— Ha, the use of the aforementioned Clinton fist-banging clip has become a running gag throughout this Update.
— Jay debuts yet another strong celebrity impression. His Dick Vitale is spot-on, and this is a fun segment, with him giving his Oscar picks in a March Madness style.
— Man, Kevin’s stumbliness tonight is so bad, he ironically flubbed a joke about the Flubby Awards. You can tell he was particularly embarrassed about messing up that joke. That portion of this Update would later be replaced in reruns with the dress rehearsal version.
— This is the first time we’ve seen Chris’ Bennett Brauer character all season. And what an appearance this turns out to be, as we’ll soon see…
— And there goes the absolutely classic turn in this Bennett Brauer commentary, with a blooper involving cables that are supposed to lift Chris in the air getting caught on the Update set’s lights, leaving Chris hanging only a few inches off the ground. As a giggling Kevin and a crew member enter the shot to fix the problem, Chris starts making fantastic ad-libs, such as “I have a weight problem; can’t they lift me?” in a mock-depressed manner. This is all truly hilarious, and is deservedly known as one of the most legendary SNL bloopers of all time. Stuff like this makes you really appreciate the live aspect of SNL.
— Also, thank god that blooper happened, because the gag itself of Bennett Brauer’s frequent airquote gestures causing him to fly is lame as hell.
— As if the blooper wasn’t great enough, it’s immediately followed by the very memorable image of an excited Chris successfully flying over the cheering studio audience.
— After the Bennett Brauer commentary is over, Kevin has a great line of his own about the blooper: “Maybe the cables ‘didn’t clear the lights’, ladies and gentlemen!”, using Brauer’s famous airquote gesture. That brilliant ad-lib alone redeems Kevin from his rough first half of tonight’s Update.
— Great touch at the very end of this Update, with a dummy of Bennett Brauer falling from above and crashing through the breakaway Update desk. On the right corner of the screen immediately after the dummy falls, you can see a glimpse of Chris himself sneaking under the desk before “popping up” behind the desk as if it was him who had just fallen from above. That accidental glimpse of him sneaking under the desk isn’t seen in reruns, though I’m not sure if they replace that shot with the dress rehearsal version or just enlarge the shot so we can’t see Chris sneaking under the desk.
STARS: ***


PROFILES IN COWARDICE
fraidy-cats describe their unheroic acts

— Pretty promising format. Kinds brings back memories of the Ruining It For Everyone sketch from the John Malkovich episode earlier this season.
— I’m enjoying Rob’s story of cowardice, especially him proudly recalling how Barbara Bush “spat at me” and President Bush referred to him as “garbage wrapped in skin”.
— Chris’ face is noticeably sweaty. I wonder if the famous Update blooper that had occurred minutes ago has something to do with that. Also, I’ve been noticing throughout tonight’s episode that his sideburns are longer than usual.
— I cracked up at Chris’ line “I was so G.D. terrified of that thing.”
— I loved Helen’s “I can have other daughters” line when defending her refusal to save her kidnapped daughter in Iran.
— Good part with a blurred-face witness-protected Norm, especially his very Norm-esque delivery of “Aw, geez!” after accidentally giving away where he lives.
— Speaking of Norm’s blurred face, it’s not blurred during the camera angles that show the whole group. Haha, I guess we’re supposed to ignore that? At the end, Michael McKean humorously points out this gaffe by waving his hand in front of Norm’s face. I love that.
STARS: ***½


SEXIST DIRECTOR
a director (MMK) elicits an emotional performance from (host) via sexism

— Michael McKean gets his very first showcase sketch since joining the cast a week earlier.
— A fart gag in a Michael McKean-written (I’m assuming) sketch? Really?
— Michael’s performance is committed, and he’s good at making his character an unlikeable bastard, but I’m iffy on whether this sketch is working for me or not. I’m also not sure how to feel about the intentional sexism in the premise, considering the well-documented real-life misogyny behind the scenes at SNL during both this and the following season.
— Interesting twist with it being revealed that Michael’s character making his actresses genuinely angry is how he gets great performances out of them.
— Didn’t care for the ending revealing Michael’s character being asleep. It also didn’t help that the camera accidentally gave away that reveal much earlier than it was supposed to. I can’t remember if that gaffe would later be fixed in reruns or not.
STARS: **½


THE WASHING MACHINE
a movie from the director of The Piano stars (ELC)

— I love this premise for a The Piano parody. This is also a much-needed solid showcase for Ellen.
— Tim is cracking me up as the daughter, and I’m loving the slow-motion pre-taped shots of him dancing around the beach and doing cartwheels.
— Some good laughs from the critic reviews.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Lodi Dodi”


ASTOUNDING INFORMATION
(KEN) shows (host) how to use Miracle Egg Fryer

— This feels like a very Kevin Nealon-y premise.
— I’m getting some good laughs from how they’re overcomplicating the simple process of frying an egg on a frying pan. This sketch is a spot-on imitation of this type of infomercial, especially all of Kevin and Helen’s unnecessary frantic running around the set throughout the sketch.
STARS: ***½


OFFICE SPACE
by Mike Judge- storage of old boxes cramps Milton

— Nice to see this continue.
— As always, Milton’s monotone ranting to the camera is cracking me the hell up.
— Milton’s boss says “Buh-bye” before exiting, a funny coincidence in tonight’s episode.
— Overall, this was pretty solid, though I didn’t enjoy this quite as much as the first Milton cartoon from earlier this season.
STARS: ***½


ROB SCHNEIDER’S GIRLFRIEND THEATER
(KEN) & (host) prove she’s still evil

— Here’s our latest victim of season 19’s bad habit of making recurring sketches out of stuff that have no legs as a recurring sketch and clearly should’ve remained a one-off.
— Bringing this particular sketch back is especially a stretch, considering the last time this sketch appeared, Rob followed it up later that same night with a comical address towards his girlfriend, in which he apologized to her and took the sketch back. I guess we’re supposed to forget that?
— In the brief close-up of Helen saying to a side camera “He’s fallen for my trap”, she looks into the wrong camera by mistake.
— So far, tonight’s installment is working even less for me than the first one did, which is saying something.
— Hmm, a musical all of a sudden?
— The musical’s actually not too bad. I love the involvement of Jeffrey Dahmer (played very humorously by Michael McKean), as well as the dancing Nazis/Darth Vaders/devils in the background.
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A refreshingly pretty solid episode, making this the first enjoyable episode in what feels like forever. The sketches tonight were mostly good, two were strong and very memorable (Total Bastard Airlines, Rockers To Help Explain Whitewater), and we got a legendary Chris Farley blooper on Weekend Update. A lot of things to like tonight overall. An episode like this is a breath of fresh air in the declining quality of this season.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Nancy Kerrigan)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Kelsey Grammer

Posted on

March 12, 1994 – Nancy Kerrigan / Aretha Franklin (S19 E15)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PRESS CONFERENCE
Bill Clinton (PHH) announces that Hillary’s to blame for Whitewater mess

— A fairly obvious but pretty funny premise of Bill Clinton blaming his wife Hillary for the Whitewater scandal. There’s also some laughs from him constantly trying to act casual about downplaying Hillary being a killer.
— This is the second consecutive episode in which Julia’s only appearance all night is in a very brief cutaway in which she just plays a straight role. Going through this season, I can really understand her well-documented frustration and misery working on the show this season. Her airtime seems to be getting worse and worse as this season heads towards the finish line.
— Towards the end of this cold opening, there’s an awkward gaffe during the interaction between Phil and Ellen, where Phil appears to mistakenly jump ahead of the script before stopping and letting Ellen say her line. This rare flub from Phil would later be fixed in reruns by replacing it and the remainder of the cold opening (including Phil’s “Live from New York…”) with the dress rehearsal version.
STARS: ***


OPENING MONTAGE
— Michael McKean has been added to the cast.

Several unconventional things about the addition of him to the cast: he’s much older than new cast members typically are, he’s already famous and very experienced by this point of his career (signaling the type of cast members Lorne would hire the following season), he’s the first cast member since 1986 to immediately join as a repertory player without doing a featured player stint first, and he’s a very rare instance of someone joining the cast AFTER having already hosted the show, not to mention also having already been a musical guest (in character as Spinal Tap).


MONOLOGUE
host answers some softball questions posed by fake audience members

— Nancy’s opening “This is the horniest thing I’ve ever done” joke (referencing her notorious “corniest thing I’ve ever done” comment about a Disneyland gig of hers) was terrible, groanworthy, and sets the tone for tonight’s episode, which isn’t a good thing…
— As expected, Nancy is coming off very wooden and bland.
— After a nice long break, we get an unfortunate return of the overused questions-from-the-audience monologue trope from the first half of this season. It also feels kinda redundant tonight, coming right after a cold opening that also had a questions-from-the-audience format.
— Not caring for most of the audience’s questions so far, though I like Jim Downey’s constant Tonya Harding/Bonnie Blair mix-ups.
— The exchange between Jay and Sarah was pretty funny.
— We get a very meta bit with one audience member (former SNL writer Christine Zander, returning as a guest writer tonight) asking if it’s true that due to the Martin Lawrence monologue, hosts are now only allowed to take questions from the audience. I appreciate how that’s SNL both referencing the Martin Lawrence controversy from the preceding episode and making a self-deprecating jab at their own overreliance on questions-from-the-audience monologues.
STARS: **½


CRYSTAL GRAVY
Rerun from 10/2/93


SPORTS BEAT
host, luger (NOM), biathlete (ROS) discuss post-Olympic life

— Michael McKean gets his first meaty role, and right out of the gate, he’s oddly making corny, exaggerated facial expressions during his opening intro. I’m not too crazy about that.
— Very funny bit with Rob revealing he had been shot in the face. Good facial make-up on him to accompany that.
— Yet another sketch this season that’s perfectly utilizing Norm’s great deadpan style. He’s having so many hilarious lines throughout this sketch.
— Rob’s been having lots of hilarious lines himself here.
— Great ending with Norm’s “At least I’ve got my gold medal” line immediately being followed by Nancy easily convincing him to sell it to her for $500.
STARS: ****


ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARADE
host is grand marshal of a St. Patrick’s Day parade in a depressed town

— A big laugh from Phil using a cane to beat the hell out of Chris’ screaming drunk character.
— Okay, it wasn’t necessary to repeat the Farley beatdown.
— This sketch has been pretty dead after the first Farley beatdown. Nothing is working much for me here.
— The mayor’s expressed contempt for his town, while probably not a bad premise in itself, didn’t provide any laughs, and the ending fell flat.
STARS: *½


THE DENISE SHOW
Brian’s old flame Linda (host) returns to see him

— SNL was already stretching things by doing a second installment of this initially-solid sketch that made little sense as a recurring piece. Now we get a freakin’ THIRD installment?!?
— Adam’s character at least gives an explanation for why he’s still doing this show after hooking up with Nicole Kidman’s character from the preceding installment, but this just feels like the writers hand-waving their decision to unnecessarily bring this sketch back again.
— They’re still using Shannen Doherty’s picture as Denise, on Adam’s table. I still can’t help but laugh imagining viewers who weren’t aware that Doherty hosted earlier this season being confused when watching these Denise Show follow-ups and wondering why the hell SNL is using a famous actress’ photo for an unseen character.
— Some of the segments within this sketch feel like an inferior copy of the segments from the first two Denise Show sketches.
— The 70s clip from The Linda Show made me laugh.
— Oh, now they’re making Nancy Kerrigan sing. God, make it stop.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “A Deeper Love”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Frank Sinatra (PHH) finishes his truncated Grammy Awards speech
Bono (ADS) sings a song to encourage alcohol-free St. Patrick’s Day fun

— This is the only time during Phil’s entire SNL tenure that he appears on the Weekend Update set (his previous Update appearances were all via-satellite bits), and even here, he’s not actually doing a typical sitting-behind-the-desk commentary; he’s standing up.
— I got a pretty good laugh from Phil-as-Sinatra’s “Thanks, Chevy” towards Kevin, but the premise of his acceptance speech being pointlessly brief didn’t do much for me.
— Hearing Kevin quote the words “Shut up, ho” in his typical deadpan news anchor manner gave me a big laugh.
— Eerie how two famous figures joked about in tonight’s Update, Richard Nixon and Kurt Cobain, would both die just a month later.
— Weird how Adam’s only Update guitar songs so far this season have been as famous singers (Bruce Springsteen, Bono) instead of as himself.
— Not too crazy about Adam’s Bono song. The lyrics are okay, but this pales in comparison to most of Adam’s Update songs as himself and even his Bruce Springsteen song.
— Why none of the usual participation from Kevin during Adam’s song?
— For the second episode in a row, Rob’s Sports Bloopers commentary got cut after dress rehearsal (pic here).
STARS: ***


DON MATEO
for some reason, Don Mateo (PHH) thinks a waitress (host) is hot-blooded

— Interesting how all three of the cast members seated at the table (Phil, Mike, and Norm) are Canadians in real life.
— Phil’s delivery is very good in this, especially when saying the line “Seared in the ANGER of your fiery ANGER!” The sketch’s premise isn’t working for me, though, even despite Phil’s best efforts.
— They seem to have given Nancy the simplest of dialogue here, yet she’s still struggling with it.
— An okay ending.
STARS: **


LILLEHAMMER 94
skater (host) tries to cope with partner’s (CHF) recent weight gain

— An initial laugh from Tim’s doughy Greg Gumbel facial prosthetics.
— And here comes the skating footage, which would go on to become a well-known Chris Farley piece, as well as the most memorable part of tonight’s troubled episode. I’ve never found this sketch to be quite a five-star classic like some other well-known Farley sketches, but I always find this to be a very funny and enjoyable piece.
— Pretty impressive skating from Chris.
— A lot of good laughs from the skating footage, especially Chris throwing an obvious dummy of Nancy in the air. Phil and David’s color commentary throughout the skating footage is also adding to the humor.
— According to GettyImages, a live post-skating segment with Chris and Nancy’s characters being interviewed by a reporter (played by Melanie) was cut after dress rehearsal (pic here and here).
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Willing to Forgive”


DISNEY
while wearing a Snow White costume, host greets guests at Disneyland

— Wow, that’s it? This overall bit was awful and pretty much pointless.
— According to GettyImages, the dress rehearsal version of this sketch had Ellen playing Tim’s role as a parent with a child (pic here and here), which makes sense, considering the child is played by Ellen’s real-life daughter Akeyla. I guess they had to recast Ellen’s role in the live show since she’s front-and-center in the sketch that immediately follows this.
STARS: *


BLACK RHYTHM & BLUES SINGERS TODAY
excitable (ELC) interviews musical guest

— Lately, it’s been feeling increasingly rare to see Ellen in a lead role. This has been a rough season for her (then again, the same can be said for ALL of the female cast members this season), and I recall hearing that she desperately wanted to leave after this season, but Lorne begged her to stay another season (maybe because he knew he was losing all the other female cast members – Julia, Melanie, and Sarah – and didn’t want the following season to start with an entirely new female cast), where she ended up having an even more miserable time.
— This sketch seems under-rehearsed, as Aretha and Ellen sometimes keep accidentally stepping on each other’s lines. (I’m not referring to Ellen’s sassy one-liners while Aretha’s speaking, as that’s clearly an intentional part of the sketch.)
— Nice ad-lib with Aretha reaching over and fixing Ellen’s frazzled hair after Ellen’s excitable head-bobbing.
— Well… Ellen certainly has lots of energy in this. That’s about the only positive thing I can say, as I haven’t gotten a single laugh so far, aside from Aretha’s aforementioned ad-lib. I’m not finding it too exciting seeing Ellen just going through a whole bunch of stereotypical black women cliches.
STARS: *½


DISNEY
while wearing a Tinkerbell costume, host throws toys from Tea Cups ride

— Oh, no, this is a runner…
— Mickey Mouse dumping a whole bunch of toys out of a garbage bin into the Tea Cup ride is the only time I’ve come remotely close to cracking a smile in these Disney sketches so far.
— I hate how these Disney sketches keep ending with a close-up of Nancy saying an unfunny straight-to-camera variation of “This is really corny”. Cringeworthy.
STARS: *


DISNEY
Abraham Lincoln animatron (MMK) joins host for her final corny Disney gig

— I say for the second time in this review: God, make it stop.
— While I would normally say it’s nice to see Phil starring in so many sketches tonight after how much he’s been phased out this season, it’s so sad that THIS is the episode that had to happen in. Tonight, he’s been performing some of the weakest material he’s ever been given in his entire SNL tenure.
— This overall third Disney sketch was completely dead. Even less laugh-worthy than the first two, if that’s possible.
STARS: *


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Chain of Fools”


GOODNIGHTS

— Even the goodnights of this episode are awkward. Nancy misses her cue at the beginning, then starts saying her goodnights speech very hesitantly with occasional pauses.

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Things continue to be rough for the second half of this season. Tonight’s episode was mostly a complete bore, especially the string of really bad, laughless sketches in the last 20 minutes. While I don’t think I agree with claims made in the past about this being one of the worst episodes ever, this episode is a clear sign of the continued decline of this season’s quality. Having an awkward, wooden athlete host didn’t make matters any better, as Nancy Kerrigan was the last type of host SNL needed during a struggling period like this. We at least got two strong sketches tonight (Sports Beat, Lillehammer 94), but they were far outnumbered by the show’s lowlights. Like I said in the last review, it’s getting almost depressing to witness this formerly strong era gradually sink like this, especially seeing an all-time great like Phil Hartman get dragged down with it.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Martin Lawrence)
a slight step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Helen Hunt

Posted on

February 19, 1994 – Martin Lawrence / Crash Test Dummies (S19 E14)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

A MESSAGE FROM JEFF GILLOOLY
Jeff Gillooly (ROS) relates his concerns about Clinton health care plan

— What was that holler in the background while Don Pardo announced “The following is a message from Jeff Gillooly”? It sounded like an audience member shouting “LOOOOOSEEEEERRRR!” or something like that, which seemed to crack the audience up.
— Some pretty funny lines from Rob’s Gillooly so far.
— After a decent beginning, this ended up kinda dying off. A fairly dull opening overall, and not the most exciting way to start the show.
— Some interesting trivia: the cold opening in this episode’s dress rehearsal was actually a Dick Clark’s Receptionist piece, in which David’s character is working in the 30 Rock lobby. He won’t let Martin Lawrence and his posse go upstairs to SNL’s studio, until Martin’s bodyguards lift David in the air, causing him to scream out “Live from New York…”. I think I would’ve preferred that cold opening to this fairly dull Jeff Gillooly piece.
STARS: **


MONOLOGUE
host does stand-up about penile dismemberment & feminine hygiene

— Oh, here we go. I’ve long been dreading having to cover this monologue, but now that I’ve arrived here, I do think this will be very interesting to talk about.
— I did get a laugh from Martin’s opening line when seeing the audience: “Man, look at all these white people.”
— “Pillypacker”? Really, Martin? I know he can’t say whatever dirty penis euphemism he would normally say in his uncensored stand-up act, but he went with “pillypacker”? Fucking “pillypacker”?!?!? And he somehow repeats it about 50 times throughout this monologue with a straight face!
— Now here comes the notorious turn this monologue takes, starting with Martin bluntly stating towards women “Some of you are not washin’ ya ass properly!”
— Needless to say, it’s sure is something hearing this raunchy feminine hygiene routine in a 1994 SNL monologue. I don’t know what in the world made Martin think he could get away with doing this material on NBC in freakin’ 1994.
— When telling women they need to put a Tic-Tac or a Cert in their vaginas: “This looks like a good place for a stick-up up in your ass!” I remember it took me years after I first saw this uncensored monologue until I finally found out what that line was referencing.
— God, now he’s going on about what it’s like to get a yeast infection on your lip when going down on a woman. The hell am I watching?!? This is probably something I might find funny in an uncensored HBO stand-up special, but in a 1994 SNL monologue?!?
— To cap it all off, he ends this monologue by bizarrely tearing off his shirt and doing absurd karate moves while mugging the camera to extreme levels.
— I can’t quite remember what the behind-the-scenes story is regarding what Martin was supposed to do for his on-air monologue. I think Jay Mohr mentions in his SNL book that Martin performed this same feminine hygiene material in dress rehearsal, but was told between dress rehearsal and the live show to either tone the feminine hygiene material way the hell down or replace it with something entirely different (can’t remember which). And, of course, Martin went on the air and didn’t do what he was told. Phil Hartman would later be quoted somewhere as saying Martin “stabbed us in the back”.
— Reruns of this monologue edit out the much-complained-about feminine hygiene portion and famously replace it with a Jim Downey-read disclaimer explaining in a very professional way what Martin discussed in the edited-out portion and how much it got SNL into trouble. That whole disclaimer is actually funnier than anything in the actual monologue. Something about the combination of Jim Downey’s dry voice-over and the overly serious wording of the disclaimer is unintentionally hilarious, especially hearing Downey paraphrase Martin’s raunchy rant in such a professional manner.
STARS: *½


MCINTOSH POST-IT NOTES
— Rerun from 10/23/93.
— What’s with the audience’s weird sounds during this? Am I hearing them having conversations while this is airing?


THUGS
muggers (host) & (PHH) offer commentary during a night of work

— I swear I recall seeing In Living Color once use this exact same premise of a Cops parody that follows the criminals instead of the police, during this same season (1993-94). Am I crazy, or did that really happen? If so, which sketch came first, the In Living Color version or this SNL version? I’d hate to think SNL stole from ILC, especially something from ILC’s 93-94 season, which was a lesser year for that show, from what I remember (this was after the Wayans family left, right?). Then again, Martin brought in some of his own writers this week (their names are seen during the third screencap of the goodnights later in this review), so maybe one of them is responsible for the possible sketch thievery.
— This sketch is sometimes cited by SNL fans as a prime example of how poorly utilized Phil is this season.
— Martin playing a typical Martin Lawrence character, involving tons of excessive mugging into the camera……
— The use of pre-taped outdoors footage is kinda fun, as it’s rare to see that in this era.
— The repeated “You got the time? *punch*” gag is getting really old.
STARS: **


DAILY AFFIRMATION WITH STUART SMALLEY
initially-hostile host eventually opens up to Stuart

— I kinda like the opening with Stuart Smalley’s uncomfortable, intimidated looks into the mirror while Martin is behind him staring him down with a disapproving look.
— I want to appreciate the change of pace in this installment, but Martin playing himself as an angry black man isn’t working for me.
— I got a laugh from Stuart doing his typical “Trace it, face it, and erase it” spiel towards Martin’s racial anger.
— Now we have Martin calling Stuart homophobic slurs, though I suppose it was only a mater of time before there was a Daily Affirmation sketch in which Stuart’s sexual orientation was finally addressed at length (the Daily Affirmation sketch with Roseanne and Tom Arnold in season 17 had Tom disparagingly calling Stuart a “little fruit” at one point, but nothing more was said about it and that sketch quickly moved on). Not sure if THIS is the way to address his sexuality, though.
— Nice to see Stuart standing up for himself for once, and going off on Martin.
— I’m conflicted on the turn with Stuart finally connecting with Martin and getting him to open up. It’s actually a good turn and is pretty well-written, but I dunno about all the unnecessary typical Martin Lawrence hamminess.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm”


WEEKEND UPDATE
NOM says Michael Jackson may be a child molester, but he’s no plagiarist
Hollywood Minute- DAS talks about Jim Carrey, Gerard Depardieu, others

— I liked Kevin’s dismissive “Tonya Harding, blah blah blah, Nancy Kerrigan, blah blah blah” opening joke, but it seems hypocritical of SNL, considering who they end up booking as host for the very next episode (you’ll see who at the end of this review). Granted, word has it that NBC is the one to blame for that booking.
— A lot of huge laughs from Norm “defending” Michael Jackson in a very typically Norm Macdonald-esque way, by explaining that Michael is merely a child molester, not something horrible like a plagiarist. Hilarious bit.
— As Kevin introduces David’s commentary, we get an accidental early cutaway to David getting a clip-on mic applied to his tie by an off-camera assistant (screencap below).

— David seems more animated than usual during tonight’s Hollywood Minute, often playing to the audience in between jokes (just look at his face in some of the screencaps above, as well as in the below screencap).

— David’s overall Hollywood Minute commentary tonight wasn’t my favorite from him, but I still enjoyed it as a whole and got some good laughs, such as his comparison between Kate Moss’ “Obsession” ad and Schindler’s List, and his comment about Ann Wilson’s ribs.
— Rob had a commentary cut after this episode’s dress rehearsal, in which he reprised his Sports Bloopers bit from earlier in the season. Yeah, not sure we needed to see that again. (We eventually end up seeing it again anyway next season, only with Jay Mohr being the one who presents the bloopers, though he has a different spin on it.)
STARS: **½


SCARED STRAIGHT
Matt Foley & fellow prisoner (host) scare juvenile delinquents straight

 

— In one portion of Jay Mohr’s SNL book, he discusses this sketch at great length and gives a lot of interesting behind-the-scenes tidbits about it. As this sketch goes along, I’ll share each tidbit as they occur.
— MOHR TIDBIT #1: Jay says that right before he was to arrive at the set for this sketch in the live show, he started feeling a panic attack coming on (which is something that happened to him very often during his SNL tenure), so he brought a Klonopin (I think) pill with him and kept it hidden in his hand during the sketch so he could sneakily ingest it if needed be. Supposedly, over the course of the sketch, Jay’s hands became so sweaty that they caused the pill he was holding to dissolve into powder. However, I’ve been paying attention to him since this sketch started, and neither of his hands look like there’s anything hidden in them.
— Interesting use of Matt Foley. I like how starting with the Sally Field episode, they’ve been putting Matt Foley into creative new settings.
— MOHR TIDBIT #2: The huge sweat stains on Matt Foley when he enters wasn’t part of the script. Chris added that right before the live version of the sketch, in an attempt to crack the other performers up. Jay explained in the book that his amusement at seeing those huge sweat stains ended up soothing his pending panic attack.
— I’ve been noticing throughout this SNL project of mine that Chris has been increasingly exaggerating his Matt Foley voice with each passing sketch this character appears in. Not sure that’s working for me. I prefer the voice he used in the very first installment. The voice he’s using in tonight’s installment seems like he’s playing a caricature of his own character.
— MOHR TIDBIT #3: When Chris is supposed to say “Sold – seven bitches to the homey in the cornrows!”, he instead just stands there silently for a long time, seemingly forgetting it’s his turn to speak. Then he quickly spits out “Sold – seven bitches to the corny in the homeroars!”, then goes “Oops!” in embarrassment when realizing he mangled the line. This causes EVERYONE in the sketch (except Martin) to crack up – even the usually-unbreakable Phil Hartman!
— Reruns use the dress rehearsal version of most of this sketch (up until the climax with Matt Foley and Martin having a chair fight), and you can tell the exact point when they switch from the dress rehearsal version to the live version, because Chris’ shirt suddenly goes from having no sweat stains at all to having a crapload of sweat stains all over.
— MOHR TIDBIT #4: After Matt Foley’s pratfall through the prison wall, the teen delinquents suddenly making a mad dash out of the wall hole wasn’t part of the script. You see, Adam Sandler concocted a plan after dress rehearsal, in which he and the other performers playing the teen delinquents would pile on top of Chris immediately after he pratfalls through the wall during the live sketch, so Chris wouldn’t be able to finish the sketch, thus sabotaging the sketch’s ending on live TV. (A prime example of Adam’s growing unprofessionalism) However, it turns out Chris impressively was strong enough to push off each of the guys piled on top of him, and he was able to finish the sketch as scripted.
— All of the above fun tidbits were almost enough to distract from the fact that this overall sketch just wasn’t very good. My least favorite Matt Foley sketch so far, but the worst from him has yet to come.
STARS: **


BIKE MESSENGER
bike messenger (MIM) waxes poetic about his job & talks with pedestrians

— This sketch was cut from the preceding week’s Alec Baldwin/Kim Basinger episode. In fact, this sketch was actually scheduled to make it on their air that night, according to a photo I once saw (during some kind of SNL documentary) of that episode’s live schedule on a board on Lorne’s office wall. The rundown in that live schedule photo matches exactly how the live show goes, EXCEPT for Bike Messenger being listed as the final sketch of the night. The show must’ve run long and they had to cut the sketch for time.
— Another interesting fact about the version of this sketch that was supposed to air in the Baldwin/Basinger episode: Alec Baldwin was cast as Bike Messenger, not Mike Myers. It’s very hard for me to picture Alec pulling off this role after being familiar with Mike’s take on it. I’m guessing Alec’s characterization was very different from Mike’s.
— Speaking of Mike’s characterization, he seems to be recycling his voice from another character or impression of his, but I can’t put my finger on which one it is.
— Not only is the very brief shot of Julia her first and ONLY appearance tonight, but it’s the first time we’ve seen ANY of the female cast members tonight. We’re in the last 30 minutes of this episode, and the female cast members are just NOW making their first appearance. I kid you not. I wonder if this is the longest an SNL episode has ever gone without any female cast members appearing. This is a prime example of how neglected SNL’s female cast is gradually becoming in this increasingly Boys Club era.
— Phil’s voice trailing off at the end of his statement gave me a big laugh.
— I’m loving the absurd, offbeat nature of this sketch. This refreshingly feels very different for a sketch from this season.
— Excellent meta turn with Norm (who’s gradually becoming the savior of this season) in another perfectly Norm Macdonald-esque role, with him pointing out the flaws in this sketch and trying to find the logic in how Bike Messenger can hear any of the pedestrians while rapidly cycling past them. Norm’s lines are freakin’ hilarious.
— I’ve been noticing in his appearances throughout tonight’s episode that Adam’s been rocking some facial fuzz. Looks like he’s in the process of growing a goatee (screencaps below).

Strange to see that in Adam’s SNL tenure, as he’s usually always clean-shaven on the show.
— Mike’s bizarre one-liners are making me laugh more and more as this sketch progresses.
— It’s interesting seeing the different types of performances each cast member is giving as a pedestrian.
— Solid ending with Norm solving the logic problem by joining Bike Messenger on a bike of his own.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Afternoons & Coffeespoons”


BENCH WARMER
during a game, New Jersey Nets benchwarmer (host) shows (TIM) the ropes

— I’m a few minutes into this sketch, and I have no idea what to say, except this sketch is just Martin doing his typical shtick, which I’m beyond tired of seeing at this point of tonight’s episode. The preceding Bike Messenger sketch was a nice break from that.
STARS: **


RICKI LAKE
Joe Jackson (host) & Ike Turner (TIM) defend themselves

— Melanie (in her first and only appearance of the night) appears to be going for an imitation of Ricki Lake’s voice, but……. yeah, not sure it’s working for me.
— Tim’s Ike Turner appearing for the second week in a row? At least it’s a change of pace not seeing him on Update for once.
— Of course, after sitting still for most of the sketch, Martin suddenly has to get up and do his typical Martin Lawrence-esque wild physical gestures for the billionth time tonight.
— Tim’s Ike Turner hasn’t been adding much to this sketch.
— I got a laugh from Martin’s Joe Jackson expressing his regrets at once taking his son Michael to Disney World, because “now my boy thinks he’s Peter Pan.”
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— As expected, a weak episode. While the controversy over the monologue overshadows nearly everything in the show, there wasn’t much in the show worth remembering anyway. Even Daily Affirmation was kinda iffy for once. It also feels like there was an unusually low number of sketches tonight, which must mean the sketches were longer than usual. Bike Messenger was the only sketch I felt highly about all night. While I’ve certainly found Martin Lawrence’s shtick funny at times in other venues (though most of those times were back when I was a kid, which may explain it), his act was spread way too thin over the course of tonight’s episode. It only took about one or two sketches for me to quickly get tired of his mugging, vocalizations, over-the-top gestures, etc., and yet he kept bringing it back sketch after sketch after sketch.
— This season lately has been starting to give off a tired, low-effort vibe that’s becoming really sad, almost depressing, especially when remembering how often the late 80s/early 90s years were on their game, even as recent as a mere year earlier in season 18.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger)
a slight step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Nancy Kerrigan. Well, THAT oughta cheer me up! [/end sarcasm] We also get a new addition to the cast.

Posted on

February 12, 1994 – Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger / UB40 (S19 E13)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

GOODFELLAS
Alec remembers goofily-nicknamed goodfellas he used to hang around with

— Solid idea for a cold opening.
— This is a great and very fun way to use pretty much the entire cast and some of the writers.
— My favorite bits have been Rob as Jimmy Five-Times, Phil as Johnny Big Balls, Norm as Ricky Pause-and-Shout, writer Ian Maxtone-Graham as Pete the Pedophile (“Hey, when you gonna bring the kids over?”), and Tim as Naked Derek (“Hey, when you gonna bring the kids over?”).
STARS: ****


OPENING MONTAGE
— The theme music would later be replaced in reruns with the dress rehearsal version. Same goes for the following monologue.


MONOLOGUE
hosts’ love for each other isn’t diminished when they reveal some secrets

— In the aforementioned dress rehearsal version of this monologue shown in reruns (first screencap below), Alec is dressed completely differently than he’s dressed in this live version (second screencap below).

— A big laugh from Kim revealing to Alec “I have no respect for you as an actor”.
— Another very funny reveal, with Alec revealing he drugged Kim to make a plaster cast of her body to sell to an inflatable doll company.
— In the dress rehearsal version shown in reruns, the part with Kim clarifying how her last name is pronounced (“Bay-sing-er” and not “Bass-in-jer”) ends with a brief bit that doesn’t appear in the live version: Alec happily hugs her while saying“I love you, Kim Bass-in-jer”, which is followed by Kim correcting him on the pronunciation again.
— The funniness of Alec and Kim’s confessions has fallen off a little after a while, but it’s still decent.
STARS: ***


CANTEEN BOY GOES CAMPING
while camping, Canteen Boy fends off scoutmaster’s (Alec) advances

— Here comes the only famous Canteen Boy sketch, as well as a very infamous sketch in its own right…
— Heh, there goes the creepy, unsettling turn this sketch suddenly takes with the certain look Alec gives Canteen Boy after putting his arm around him.
— Well… needless to say, this is VERY different from Canteen Boy’s previous appearances, but to me, this sketch is damn funny, in a very wrong way. I can definitely understand why this sketch would put off a lot of people, though, plus the sketch does signify SNL’s growing reliance on shock humor and offensive content that will be part of what plagues the following season. It’s very hard to defend this sketch, but I feel it’s one of the very rare times that both this and the following season manage to pull off the shock/offensive humor well.
— Throughout this sketch, there’s so many funny one-liners from Canteen Boy in reaction to things Alec’s character does.
— I love Alec’s delivery of “Canteen Boy, you rascal!” when a whole bunch of snakes attack him.
— This sketch oddly ends with no applause from the audience at all, until after the SNL Band starts playing the show to commercial. It’s funny to imagine that the reason for the audience’s hesitant applause is because they (like many SNL viewers at the time) were offended by the sketch, but that can’t be the case, as they were heard laughing throughout it.
— Part of the controversy over the things the scoutmaster did to Canteen Boy throughout this sketch is due to some people believing Canteen Boy is supposed to be a child (it also doesn’t help that this sketch originally aired at the same time the Michael Jackson child molestation charges were all over the news). Canteen Boy is actually an adult, which reruns of this sketch explain in a disclaimer added to the beginning (screencap below).

Some people think that disclaimer was just SNL changing Canteen Boy’s age from a child to a 27-year-old as damage control, but those people are wrong. It had already been established in the very first Canteen Boy sketch that he’s an adult who’s still obsessed with the Boy Scouts. All that being said, it’s still obvious that the scoutmaster’s actions towards Canteen Boy were supposed to allude to the Boy Scouts child sex abuse cases.
STARS: a very guilty ****


PLAYGROUND
back at the jungle gym, Phillip asks Robin (Kim) to be his Valentine

— (*groan*) Here’s our latest victim of season 19’s bad habit of making recurring sketches out of stuff that have no legs as a recurring sketch and clearly should’ve remained a solid one-off.
— Kim’s character is named Robin, presumably after Mike’s real-life wife at the time.
— Kim isn’t doing anywhere NEAR as good a job at playing a kid as Nicole Kidman did in the first installment of this sketch. I’m not buying Kim as a little girl at all.
— So far, this sketch has been nothing but an inferior carbon copy of the first installment, only with a Valentine’s Day theme shoehorned in.
— The only real laugh I got so far has been the “The girls got the buns, and the boys got the hot dogs” sing-a-long, and that didn’t even come until about three minutes into the sketch.
— To complete the carbon copy feel of this sketch, they now flat-out reuse the first installment’s pre-taped ending in which Phillip unhinges the jungle gym and runs down the street with the gym still attached to him. That’s taking laziness to a new level. Absolutely ridiculous. I was going to rate this overall sketch a star-and-a-half, but screw it, the half-star is docked due to the unbelievably-lazy recycled footage ending.
STARS: *


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “C’est La Vie”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Ike Turner (TIM) & his Valentine KEN perform “Proud Mary”

— Kevin’s jokes have been really hit-and-miss so far tonight, and he’s stumbling over an awful lot of them. (*sigh*) Only 7 episodes left until Norm takes over…
— Ehh, the recurring Ike Turner/Kevin Nealon relationship thing is getting tired, and their interaction tonight is feeling too by-the-numbers.
— Ah, we suddenly get new life added to the Ike/Kevin bit, with an absolutely hilarious turn involving Kevin wildly dancing in a red Tina Turner-esque short skirt while dueting with Ike on “Proud Mary”. A very solid and memorable bit.
— I love Kevin’s addendum to the whole Ike Turner commentary, with him telling the audience “You people in the front row got a little something extra tonight”, referring to how short his skirt was.
— The whole Ike Turner commentary seems to have given a sudden quality boost to tonight’s Update in general (or maybe it just put me in a better mood), as it’s being followed by some really solid news jokes from Kevin.
— Chris Farley had a commentary as himself cut after this episode’s dress rehearsal, in which he talks about why he finds Valentine’s Day disgusting.
STARS: ***½


FAMILY FEUD
hosts, Billy & Stephen Baldwin [real] give showbiz answers

— Oh, god, here comes a sketch that I’ve always found to be a complete chore to watch in my past viewings.
— I do love the randomness of Tim playing author James Baldwin, filling in for Daniel Baldwin.
— The premise of the Baldwins always incorrectly guessing showbiz things is weak and is being repeated over and over. The fact that this sketch is so damn long only makes it worse.
— Phil’s trying his damnedest to save this, and I have gotten a chuckle or two from him. A shame, though, that this is the first really big role he’s gotten on the show in TWO MONTHS. It’s very sad witnessing his much-needed presence gradually disappear over the course of this season. And I can’t even imagine how it’s going to feel once his future replacement Michael McKean gets brought in two episodes from now.
— At the end, Don Pardo announces that this has been SNL’s 300th gameshow parody.
STARS: *½


ROMANTIC MEN
romantic men (Alec), (PHH), (MIM) impress (CHF)’s girlfriend (JUS)

— I’m liking Alec’s performance as a foreign-accented classical romantic leading man.
— Kind of a slow sketch so far, but not bad, and I can appreciate what this is going for. However, this feels like the type of soft, sentimental sketch that would’ve been pulled off better in a superior season.
— A pretty enjoyable charming song from the three romantic men, especially when Julia starts dancing around them.
— Sweet ending with Chris and Julia.
STARS: ***


MICROSCOPIC ELVIS
atom bomb test makes Tiny Elvis (ROS) microscopic

   

— And the latest victim of season 19’s habit of bringing back one-off sketches that have no business being recurring iiiiiisssssss……
— It’s especially silly that they’re making this sketch recurring, considering Nicolas Cage played Tiny Elvis the first time. Was it really worth recasting the role to bring back a sketch that was fine as just a decent, goofy one-time thing last season?
— Not caring for the random Microscopic Elvis twist.
— A weak, weak sketch overall. I got a chuckle or two at best, while spending the rest of the sketch being very bored.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Can’t Help Falling In Love”


PYRAMID OF PAIN
Mickey Ross’ (Alec) threats of force induce weight loss

— Rob’s testimonial about being bitchslapped by Alec for hours and hours is cracking me up.
— I got a laugh from Alec’s (intentionally) corny response to one fat guy: “Looks like YOU’RE everywhere…. cuz you’re fat.”
— Alec’s delivery in general is giving me good amusement here, and his performance is selling this material. However, parts of this sketch still have kind of a dead feel.
— The ending felt a little abrupt. I was expecting more from this sketch.
STARS: either **½ or ***, I can’t decide yet


DRESSING ROOM
CHF brings Kim flowers & finds out she used to go out with fat guys

— I liked hearing Chris doing his old Da Bears voice when talking about the Super Fans sketches.
— This seems to be a thinly-veiled The Chris Farley Show sketch, only this is not working anywhere NEAR as well as those sketches. This is coming off as a pale imitation.
— I am liking the sweetness to this, but like a lot of sketches tonight, there’s too much of a dull, forgettable feel here. Kim’s bored straight man performance is probably partly responsible for that.
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— I guess it had to happen sooner or later: our first disappointing Alec Baldwin episode. I guess even his track record of strong episodes has succumbed to the mediocrity that’s been plaguing the second half of this season. Tonight’s episode had a really bland feel, especially the post-Update half, and very few things tonight stood out as solid, most of which were just in the first 15 minutes of the show. Alec still gave his usual strong, dependable performances and commitment all throughout this episode, but the same cannot be said for co-host Kim Basinger, who’s performances matched the bland feel of this episode.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Patrick Stewart)
a big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Martin Lawrence tries his damnedest to top the Canteen Boy controversy

Posted on

February 5, 1994 – Patrick Stewart / Salt-N-Pepa (S19 E12)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

OPERATION PEDOPHILE NOT
Michael Jackson (TIM) combats his pedophile image by hitting on women

— I think the opening exterior shot of a club (screencaps below) is the same one that would later regularly be used in the Roxbury Guys sketches, but I can’t say for sure, as it’s been ages since I’ve last seen a Roxbury Guys sketch.

— Nice to see Phil appearing right at the top of tonight’s episode, after only appearing in the last half hour of the preceding episode. Unfortunately, his role in this sketch is minor, and he makes only one other appearance later tonight, in a role that’s also not too big, making tonight the second consecutive episode where he practically sits the whole episode out. Lately, it’s already almost starting to feel like he’s left the show.
— Funny reveal of the Operation Pedophile Not name.
— The debut of Tim’s Michael Jackson impression.
— Tim-as-MJ’s bad attempts at flirting are providing pretty good laughs.
— Hilarious part with MJ telling a female passerby “Hey, what’s up, bitch?”, only to immediately and deservedly get slapped by her.
— Michael Jackson: “Theresa – that’s a sexy name, like Macaulay.”
— Nice twist on “Live from New York…” with Tim’s MJ asking his bodyguard for help in the middle of it.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
host demonstrates the extent of his Star Trek trivia knowledge

— A lot of laughs from Patrick’s inaccurate Star Trek facts, and he’s helping sell this material with his always-reliable delivery. I especially got a good from his mention of Leonard “Portnoy”.
— Great part with the lights dimming and Patrick butchering the famous Star Trek opening voice-over.
STARS: ****


PHILADELPHIA ACTION FIGURES
they allow kids to re-enact the movie

— Priceless premise of the movie “Philadelphia” inappropriately being turned into children’s action figures.
— As someone who was a kid in this era, this is a perfect recreation of early 90s kids toy commercials (much like I said about the Nerf Crotch Bats commercial from the preceding season).
STARS: ****½


SCOTTISH THERAPIST
Stuart Rankin visits Phil McCracken, Scottish Therapist (host)

— Surprisingly, this is the first All Things Scottish sketch in two-and-a-half years. This is also the last time we’ll be seeing this sketch.
— Feels weird seeing Tim playing a customer, considering the last time this sketch appeared, he played a store employee.
— I love the cutaway to Stuart Rankin’s frozen deadpan face after Chris’ crack about Scottish “skirts”.
— I got a huge laugh from Rankin headbutting Chris and giving him a nosebleed, made even funnier by the fact that you can see ketchup packets hidden in Chris’ hands, used to represent blood.
— I love the sudden twist with Patrick’s Scottish therapist character, complete with his own opening credits sequence and theme song. A nice change of pace for All Things Scottish.
— A pretty good laugh from the “scotch treatment” that Patrick brings up only consisting of getting “piss drunk”.
— During the time-lapsed drunk sequence, I love the brief snippet of Patrick and Mike singing The Proclaimers’ 500 Miles song.
STARS: ***½


SEXY CAKES
bakery owner’s (host) sexy cakes all feature women going to the bathroom

— Strange how this is the second consecutive sketch tonight taking place in a store. In fact, when Rob entered the store at the beginning of this sketch, I actually almost expected to hear the Scottish bagpipe door chime from the preceding sketch. You don’t get to see these two sketches back-to-back if you watch the rerun version of tonight’s episode, because SNL wildly shuffles the order of this episode’s sketches around, and the All Things Scottish sketch is moved to the post-Update half of the show.
— A hilarious reveal from Patrick of the “erotic” cake featuring a woman going to the bathroom. I’m really liking Rob’s delivery and reactions as the straight man.
— When Rob says “This is the exact same cake of a woman going to the bathroom”, I love Patrick smiling and saying “No, no – this one’s chocolate.”
— Tim and David ordering a “man-on-man lemon meringue” gave me a big laugh.
— The concept of this sketch in general is hilarious, and this is such a perfect use of Patrick Stewart. This sketch is pure comedy gold under his performance.
— Yet another fantastic line from Patrick, this time with him responding to Rob’s idea of a sexy cake featuring people having sex or genitalia by saying “If that’s what you’re after, I suggest you try Hostess or Sara Lee.”
— Excellent touch at the end with Patrick’s wink into the camera.
STARS: *****


MUSICAL GUEST INTRO
— There’s that epic “Salt…N-PEPAAA!!!” delivery from Patrick that John Mulaney would later joke about in the monologue of his season 43 hosting stint.


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Shoop”


WEEKEND UPDATE

— I pointed out in an earlier review that Kevin has developed an annoying habit this season of often following his “Good evening, I’m Kevin Nealon” sign-on with an absurdly long pause while staring into the camera, to complete silence from the audience. Well, we got a particularly long pause after his sign-on tonight. (*groan) Why does he do that???
— I loved the suicide hotline/Nike joke.
— Overall, much like two episodes ago when Jason Patric hosted, we got another Update with no guest commentaries. However, unlike the Update from two episodes ago, Kevin actually had a pretty good night with a decent number of solid jokes. Probably his best night in a while, even if that’s still not saying much (which just shows how blah his Updates have been this season).
STARS: ***


THE LOVE BOAT: THE NEXT GENERATION
space romance & Doc (Bernie Koppel)

 

— Rob looks uncanny as Data. Great casting there.
— A fantastic premise, doing a mash-up of Star Trek and The Love Boat.
— Very fun opening credits sequence.
— I love David’s Joan Rivers impression.
— Another great continuation of the decades-long running gag of Akira Yoshimura always playing Sulu in SNL’s Star Trek parodies.
— Boy, Chris stumbled through his line VERY awkwardly just now. He’s visibly embarrassed by it, as he closes his eyes in a way that you can tell he’s thinking to himself “Man, I blew it” (the last above screencap for this sketch). Poor guy. I’m surprised this portion of the sketch has never been replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns.
— Enjoyable ending involving Data giving Picard a human heart dipped in chocolate.
STARS: ****½


THE COSBY MYSTERIES
Bill Cosby (ADS) spouts gibberish, investigates a murder

 

— The return of Adam’s truly bizarre but very funny Bill Cosby impression.
— The portion of this sketch showing Adam’s Cosby privately searching through a file cabinet and then discovering a ring inside a glove (the second above screencap for this sketch) would later be removed from all reruns. Not sure why.
— Adam and Tim keep cracking up throughout their interaction with each other, much like they did in Adam’s previous Cosby sketch, “You Bet Your Life”.
— This overall sketch didn’t work nearly as well as the “You Bet Your Life” sketch, but was still pretty good.
STARS: ***


HELL
Satan’s (host) mystique loses its impact after he chokes on a grape

— What’s the point of them displaying a graphic of this episode’s date (February 5, 1994) at the beginning of this sketch after establishing this takes place in hell? The pointlessness of that date display has a strangely season 20-esque feel to me, for some reason (even though I can’t think of any times season 20 does that specifically).
— Patrick’s panicked exclamations during his choking are cracking me up.
— I love the turn this has taken with Patrick’s suddenly weak threats and his minions questioning his word choices.
— Norm’s delivery is absolutely perfect for this sketch. Such a great early use of his style of humor.
— This sketch is tickling the hell out of me. I’m getting so many laughs from Patrick’s weak threats, the minions snarking on every single thing he says, and him incredulously repeating things he can’t believe the minions are saying to him (which Norm eventually points out).
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Whatta Man”


SHOW & TELL WITH SURGEON GENERAL JOYCELYN ELDERS
a visible rectum

 

— The early 90s-era Nickelodeon station ID and jingle played at the beginning brings back SO MANY childhood memories of watching that channel as a kid in this era.
— Very funny opening title sequence and theme song.
— The struggling Ellen Cleghorne gets her first lead role in what feels like a long time. Interesting use of a Joycelyn Elders impression.
— I love Elders’ line about how all of Goldie Hawn’s children are examples of a bastard.
— Very funny anti-anal intercourse lesson from Patrick, especially him bringing out a visual aid of a visible rectum.
STARS: ***½


IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT
defense attorney Leslie Abramson (JUS) with excuses

— What’s with all the sketches tonight placing a public figure in their own TV show? Bill Cosby, Joycelyn Elders, and now Leslie Abramson.
— Talk about a struggling female cast member finally getting a lead role. Julia has gone on to say that this is the ONLY sketch she wrote that got on the air this season, which is one of several things that contributed to her decision to leave after this season.
— Very good performance from Julia here.
— There are some laughs from Abramson’s poor defense of her clients, but this sketch doesn’t feel as funny as it has potential to be, and it has the type of really quiet, dead atmosphere that I’ve been negatively pointing out in the preceding two episodes. However, if this is the worst sketch that tonight’s very solid episode has to offer, then I’ll gladly take it.
— I like Abramson overdramatizing the “Where’s the ball?” trick that kids play on dogs.
STARS: **½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very strong episode, and easily the best of the troubled second half of this season so far. There were plenty of great and memorable sketches, and nothing was terrible. Patrick Stewart was a fantastic host who added a great vibe to the show and gave strong performances all throughout the night. It’s very surprising he’s never returned as a host.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Sara Gilbert)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger

Posted on

January 15, 1994 – Sara Gilbert / Counting Crows (S19 E11)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE BOBBITT TRIAL
Tonya Harding (MEH) whacks John Bobbitt (MIM) in the groin on Court TV

— After being misled by such a quiet and overly serious start, we get an outrageous and very funny sudden twist with Tonya Harding crashing the Bobbitt Trial and repeatedly whacking Mike’s John Wayne Bobbitt in the groin. I love this mash-up of two different huge scandals going on at the time.
— Good line from Julia about the Menendez brothers now changing their plea to a claim that their parents were beaten by Tonya Harding.
— I like how they kept this short and sweet.
STARS: ****


OPENING MONTAGE
— The theme music would later be replaced in reruns with the dress rehearsal version. Same goes for the following monologue.


MONOLOGUE
(no synopsis available)

— The whole “sick with the flu” thing is a pretty meh premise for this monologue, and isn’t being executed all that well.
— I did get a laugh from Sara’s line “Just tell them that that Urkel kid hosted.”
— Considering the very short length of both the cold opening and monologue, this monologue must’ve ended around the same time that a typical cold opening nowadays would still be in progress.
STARS: **


HIBERNOL
Rerun from 2/20/93, making this season 19’s THIRD repeated commercial from season 18


ROOMMATES
(ROS) claims to be a girl, but his female roommates won’t shower with him

— The concept isn’t bad, the execution is flat so far.
— I’m also iffy about Rob’s questionable character choice to speak in an exaggerated stilted delivery the whole time. It’s very hit-and-miss with me, more miss than hit.
— Weak ending.
STARS: **


SIMON
in the tub with dad’s girlfriend’s filthy daughter (host)

— First time we’ve seen this sketch in a whole year, and it feels odd seeing it at this point in the show’s run, especially with the new visual look this season has suddenly started having with the preceding week’s Jason Patric episode.
— Some funny comments from Simon about Sara’s physical dirtiness.
— Decent bit with Simon’s various euphemisms for his genitals.
— Why is Sara’s eyepatch on the wrong eye in the drawing of her (the third above screencap for this sketch)?
— This overall Simon installment started losing steam for me halfway through, though there was a bit of a charm to this piece as a whole.
STARS: **½


TATER JUNCTION
Gap girls Kristy & Lucy hang out with boss Cindy (CHF) at Tater Junction

— Nice to see these characters in a new setting.
— A legendary moment just now, with Chris’ sudden deep-voiced threat of “Lay off me, I’m starving!” while grabbing David by the throat.
— Another memorable moment just now, with David’s meta “I can’t believe we’re all wearing the same thing we did four days ago” line. I’d like to think that was an ad-lib, but I’ve never been sure. Does anyone know?
— During the phone conversation that David acts out, I liked the touch of him miming phone dialing sounds.
— Funny running bit with Chris’ character’s inability to tell a joke or insult.
— A fun sketch overall, and is probably the most iconic, quintessential Gap Girls sketch.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “‘Round Here”


WEEKEND UPDATE
NOM thinks that there’s too much figure skating on TV
SAS talks about stuff that happened to her during the week

— Some good laughs from Norm using his commentary to shoehorn in complains about figure skating, and negatively putting it on the same level as the violence of the Tonya Harding incident. Not the funniest Update commentary Norm will do this season, but it’s still solid.
— Kevin’s delivery of some of his jokes tonight is pretty awful. He sounds like he’s reading them for the very first time. I’m telling you, Norm’s stint as Update anchor can’t come soon enough for me.
— Sarah Silverman’s Update commentary finally makes it on the air. Believe it or not, this commentary had constantly been getting cut after dress rehearsal almost all season long, starting with the John Malkovich episode way back in October.
— Sarah’s commentary about news in her personal life feels out of place as an Update feature in this era, but I do kinda like the idea of this being a way for SNL to introduce her to us. There’s some sadness to that in retrospect, though, considering this would end up being Sarah’s ONLY claim to fame during her SNL stint.
— The humor in Sarah’s commentary feels like a primitive version of the type of standup she’d later become famous for, and the occasional interactions with Kevin feel too shoehorned in, but I’m getting some good laughs here. I loved the part about her sister thinking of shortening her long married Jewish surname to just “Jews”, and the pap smear/gagging bit. Her imitation of a high school best friend posing for a picture is also a memorable part.
— Some strong jokes from Kevin near the end of tonight’s Update, especially the memorable David Copperfield/Claudia Schiffer one.
— Two Update commentaries got cut after this episode’s dress rehearsal. One where Al Franken showed footage of himself and his family playing football with President Clinton, and another where Tim played a smooth-talking correspondent who constantly got distracted by the beauty of the women in the audience.
STARS: **½


BLOSSOM
dad’s (KEN) proud Blossom’s (MEH) having sex, but driving is out
a music video features Joey Lawrence (MIM) singing his hit song “Whoa”

 

— This is a sketch I’ve always hated in my past viewings. I’ll keep an open mind during this particular viewing, especially since I now have much more tolerance for Melanie Hutsell than I used to have. As the sketch goes along, I’ll list off the problems I’ve always had with it in past viewings.
— PROBLEM #1: The simple fact that Melanie Hutsell is starring in it. That was enough to make me dislike this sketch during the days when I couldn’t stand her.
— PROBLEM #2: The recreation of the Blossom opening credits. I guess it’s kinda cute seeing the SNL performers in the Blossom actors’ roles in it, but there are absolutely no jokes; it’s just a straight recreation of the credits. What’s the point?
— I am getting laughs from Sara’s take on Six/Jenna Von Oy.
— Melanie’s performance and delivery are actually making me chuckle throughout this.
— PROBLEM #3: The joke with Blossom’s dad having initially-shocked-then-accepting reactions to finding certain things in Blossom’s purse, a joke I used to find really dumb.
— I like how Sara keeps claiming that things Blossom’s dad finds in her purse are “balloons… for a party!”
— PROBLEM #4: The terrible and unnecessary ending with Mike-as-Joey-Lawrence’s “Whoa!” music video, which has a strangely shoddy season 20 feel (not a good thing).
— Overall, I’m happy to say after this viewing that I didn’t hate this sketch nearly as much as I did in the past. However, I still didn’t find it anything great. Plus problems #2 and #4 listed above still bugged me. I’m iffy on where I now stand with problem #3.
STARS: **½


LUNCHLADY LAND
ADS plays guitar & sings “Lunchlady Land” amongst dancing cafeteria food

— Here comes a Chris Farley/Adam Sandler classic.
— Weird and perhaps kinda telling of the show’s declining quality that two very popular Chris Farley performances tonight involve him in drag (Gap Girls and this sketch). Plus, there was that Blind Melon bee girl thing in the last episode.
— Very solid, funny storytelling from Adam’s lyrics, while Chris is great acting out the song.
— I love how things start to get ramped up when the song starts REALLY kicking in.
— Now this already-fun piece is getting even more fun with other performers playing embodiments of lunch items. I’m absolutely loving this.
— This feels kinda different for a sketch from this era.
STARS: *****


FAMILY VACATIONS
only EuroDisney can satisfy a sullen teen’s (host) vacation requirements

— Here comes Sara evidently doing a Jason Patric impression.
— Boy, this sketch is really flat. Little-to-no laughs from me so far.
— This is another thing tonight that seems to have a season 20-like atmosphere (again, not a good thing).
— I got an unintentional laugh from Jay’s awkwardly-delivered straight-to-camera “Welcome to the Pleasure Dome!”
— In the Gap Girls sketch earlier tonight, David riffed on the fact that they were wearing the same clothes in a scene that supposedly took place four days later. We could’ve used some riffing like that in this Family Vacations sketch, as this family wears the same clothes every YEAR.
— I did like Kevin’s line “But [Madonna’s] having sex with two midgets. I thought you’d like that.”
— Very weak punchline of EuroDisney being the only place that satisfies Sara.
— My god, this is Phil’s FIRST appearance all night (not counting the rerun of the year-old HiberNol ad), and we’re in the last 30 minutes of the show! I know they’ve been phasing him out this season, but relegating him to a small appearance in the last 30 minutes of an episode is inexcusable.
— Geez, it’s sad that Phil made his first appearance of the night just for THAT. They didn’t even bother to give him any good lines in his small scene. And, boy, am I getting tired of those “a message from Michael Eisner” pieces they keep shoehorning into this season.
STARS: *½


ROB SCHNEIDER’S GIRLFRIEND THEATER
KEN & host act out her evilness

— Creative premise.
— Kevin appears to be going for an imitation of Rob’s voice during his portrayal of him, but the voice sounds NOTHING like Rob.
— Despite the interesting idea, this is unfortunately turning out to be yet another sketch tonight with a pretty flat feel.
— The titles for each act in this play aren’t that funny.
— I do like Phil (in his second and final small appearance of the night, by the way; a damn shame) as the devil being appalled at Rob’s girlfriend’s evilness.
— Overall, this sketch sadly didn’t work for me as much as it should have.
— Rob’s been having a weird season so far. After a very strong year in season 18 where he could do no wrong for me, he’s taken a step down this season. While he still has been doing some really solid work, he’s been a lot more hit-and-miss. He’s also been kinda invisible lately, and in fact has been mysteriously absent from two episodes (Nicole Kidman and Jason Patric).
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Mr. Jones”


20 QUESTIONS WITH BRYANT GUMBEL
host is repeatedly asked “Why?”

— I’ve been mentioning season 20 harbingers an awful lot throughout tonight’s review. Well, here’s another one, though this is a much more minor point: the font used for the words “20 Questions” in this sketch’s logo looks like the same font SNL would use a season later for their own 20th anniversary logo (side-by-side comparison).

— Tim is just NOW making his first appearance of the night, in the 10-to-1 sketch.
— Pretty funny froggy voice from Tim’s Bryant Gumbel.
— Unfortunately, Tim’s aforementioned voice has been the only thing that’s been closely resembling anything funny in this sketch. This is an awful one-joke sketch that’s falling horribly flat. Guess that’s yet another season 20 harbinger tonight.
— What was with the bit at the end with Tim’s shoe?
— Tim would later disclose in the “Live from New York” book that this sketch was the most uncomfortable he’d ever been while performing a sketch in all his years on SNL, due to how badly this sketch bombed with the audience. Tim even mentions in that part of the book that he was sweating a lot during this sketch because of how uncomfortable the dead atmosphere made him.
STARS: *


APOLOGY
ROS apologizes to his girlfriend for the sketch earlier in the show

— A pointless, unnecessary brief piece, though the lawsuit comment just now was kinda funny.
STARS: *½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A pretty blah episode for me, especially the post-Update half, where there was an endless string of sketches that I found to be either iffy, dull, or downright bad, minus Lunchlady Land. In fact, this was a pretty flat episode all around, aside from two memorable highlights with Gap Girls and the aforementioned Lunchlady Land, and a funny outrageous punchline in the cold opening. I’ve also noticed that, similar to the infamous preceding episode with Jason Patric, there was a pretty quiet, low-energy feel to this episode (though not as bad tonight as it was in the Patric episode), which seems as if it will be the theme of the second half of this season.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jason Patric)
a slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Patrick Stewart