Tag: Alec Baldwin

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February 11, 2017 – Alec Baldwin / Ed Sheeran (S42 E14)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PRESS CONFERENCE
Sean Spicer (Melissa McCarthy) & Jeff Sessions (KAM) address reporters

 

— I see SNL ain’t wasting any time bringing back Melissa McCarthy’s Sean Spicer impression only one week after its very well-received debut.
— Some of the jokes and gags here so far aren’t all that special, but McCarthy is selling them well.
— Like last time, the sequence with McCarthy’s Spicer using props to make her point to the reporters is solid.
— A good laugh from McCarthy-as-Spicer’s listing-off of alleged terrorist attacks.
— The debut of Kate’s Jeff Sessions impression. Also the first of many instances of Kate playing a male member of Trump’s cabinet.
— I prefer Kate’s Betsy DeVos scene in the previous Sean Spicer sketch, but I’m still finding Kate’s Sessions scene here amusing  as a one-time thing when pretending I’m unaware of the future appearances that impression of Kate’s makes.
— The sequence at the end with McCarthy’s Spicer chasing the reporters around the room on her motorized podium is a freakin’ riot.
— Overall, while this cold opening didn’t work quite as much for me as the previous Spicer sketch, I still found this to be pretty solid as a whole, and McCarthy once again killed it in this.
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
PED notes how much host has aged over the course of doing SNL 17 times

— I like hearing the audience audibly gasp out loud when a photo is shown of young Alec Baldwin in his very first hosting stint.
— Some funny back-and-forths between Alec and Pete, and Alec’s a good sport to take all those jokes about how drastically he’s aged over the years of his SNL hosting stints.
— The photos shown of older sketches that Alec was in are a nice trip down memory lane. The retrospective aspect of this monologue feels appropriate for what ends up being Alec’s final hosting stint (as of 2021, at least), though I don’t know if that was the show’s intention at the time, plus Alec DID have a slightly similar retrospective monologue when he hosted in season 31.
STARS: ***½


RUSSELL STOVER’S BLACK HISTORY HEART SHAPED BOX
Russell Stover has eminent chocolates in Black History box

 

— A very funny concept that’s being well-executed.
— Excellent straight man reactions from Sasheer throughout this commercial.
— The George Washington Carver/peanut butter bit with Alex is very funny.
STARS: ****


PITCH MEETING
per woke Super Bowl commercials, Cheetos seeks socially-conscious pitches

— The escalation of Alec and Aidy’s “deep” commercial pitches are a decent timely spoof of the trend of social commentary commercials from that year’s Super Bowl.
— I wouldn’t be surprised if this was SNL’s intention, but that bowl of Cheetos in the background behind Cecily and Alex is making me kinda hungry for some Cheetos right now.
STARS: ***


JAKE TAPPER
ignored Kellyanne Conway (KAM) has Fatal Attraction to Jake Tapper (BEB)

— Our second Jake Tapper/Kellyanne Conway pre-tape.
— A solid Fatal Attraction spoof. I especially like Kate’s delivery of Glenn Close’s famous “I will not be igNORED!” line.
— The acting from both Kate and Beck is very strong here. The great lighting is also adding perfectly to the tone of this short.
— Good sequence with Kate’s Kellyanne slowly coming back to life, limb by limb, after falling to her death out the window. I’m pretty sure that coming-back-to-life sequence is a spoof of something from a movie (not Fatal Attraction), as it seems so familiar, but I can’t put my finger on what movie it is. Thanks in advance if anybody in the comments section helps me figure it out.
STARS: ****


DRILL SERGEANT
at boot camp, Army colonel (host) hazes all recruits except his son (MID)

— A big laugh from Alec’s “cookie chillout/chili cookout” line flub, and he made a funny recovery afterwards. Showing what a damn pro he is, Alex Moffat keeps a perfectly straight face when Alec plays off of his own flub by comically screaming an ad-lib right into Alex’s face.
— Meh, the initial reveal of this sketch’s comedic premise makes me feel that I’m not going to care for this sketch.
— It’s now about two minutes later, and yeah, I’m not crazy about this. It’s not terrible or anything, but it just feels like such bland, generic, tepid comedy.
— The ending with Aidy was actually pretty charming.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Shape of You”


WEEKEND UPDATE
unsilenceable Elizabeth Warren (KAM) is persistent in her grilling of COJ

Guy Who Just Bought A Boat (ALM) offers smarmy Valentine’s Day wordplay

Greg (MID) & Shelly (LEJ) relate their experience with sadism & masochism

— Another political impression of Kate’s debuts tonight: Elizabeth Warren. I haven’t seen any of the more recent appearances that this impression of Kate’s made around season 44/45, when Warren was a presidential candidate.
— I really like the meta-ness of Kate-as-Warren’s questioning, especially her grilling Colin on why he and Michael get paid as much as other regular cast members despite only performing on Weekend Update.
— A noteworthy ending to Kate’s Warren commentary, with Colin panickedly cutting her off when she brings up Trump infamously hosting this show the preceding season.
— Colin awkwardly turning from the “joke camera” to the “introducing a guest commentator” camera rarely ever fails to get a big laugh from the audience whenever he does that this season.
— The noteworthy debuts tonight continue, as Alex not only finally gets what I believe is his very first solo comedic showcase on SNL, but it’s also the debut of his Guy Who Just Bought A Boat character.
— Alex is selling this material so well. However, the running gag with him subliminally throwing in occasional mentions of his small penis isn’t making me laugh much. I’m actually getting FAR more laughs from all of the other parts of this commentary, with Alex’s comically smug delivery of abbreviated terms. Those terms seem like they would be difficult for most performers to deliver in such a rapid-fire succession, but Alex is absolutely nailing it with total ease.
— Another Cheetos mention tonight?
— This character type is a nice change of pace for Leslie’s Update appearances, and the pairing of her and Mikey is interesting.
— A good use of Mikey’s trademark affable straight man delivery.
— Leslie’s character’s giggling habit is a good way for Leslie to hide her seemingly genuine giggling right now.
STARS: ****


THE PEOPLE’S COURT
Donald Trump (host) sues to reinstate his travel ban

— Our obligatory Trumpwin sketch in tonight’s episode. At least they rightfully buried it after Weekend Update.
— This sketch is actually a rare case of continuity within a modern-era SNL episode, as Melissa McCarthy’s Sean Spicer alluded to this sketch in the cold opening.
— Grim Reaper Bannon is noticeably not being played by Mikey this time, since Mikey is playing Donald Trump Jr. I recall an online SNL fan once revealing that Pete would fill in as Grim Reaper Bannon whenever Mikey had to play someone else in a Bannon-involved sketch, but that’s clearly not the case here, as Pete is playing one of the judges. Maybe it’s an extra in that Grim Bannon costume tonight.
— Surprisingly, this is Kenan’s first appearance all night, and even this is just a very small role with only about two lines.
— I’m currently a few minutes into this sketch, and I can’t find much to say. I am so over Alec’s Trump impression that a lot of this sketch is washing over me. Beck’s Vladimir Putin didn’t really add anything in his appearance, either. I am really liking Cecily’s performance as the judge, though.
STARS: **


BEYONCÉ’S BABIES
Beyonce’s (SAZ) twins (KET) & (TRM) are excited during ultrasound test

 

— A very funny little walk-on from Aidy.
— Random Tracy Morgan. He’s always a treat to see pop up.
— Something feels kinda corny about this sketch, but it’s balanced out decently by Kenan and Tracy making a fun pair and having some okay lines, such as the Kelly Rowland/Michelle Williams burn.
STARS: ***


LESLIE WANTS TO PLAY TRUMP
LEJ wants to play Donald Trump on SNL, but LOM isn’t going to let her

— Ah, this. I could never remember which episode this great short came from.
— At least SNL is openly acknowledging how questionable it is for a non-cast member to regularly play the president.
— “Leslie Wants To Play Trump”. Oh, you can tell just from that title alone that this is going to be an extremely fun short.
— Love the nod to the Leslie/Kyle relationship storyline.
— A very funny visual of Leslie as Trump.
— I’m aware that this short isn’t serious about the idea of Leslie actually playing Trump on the show, but damn, I’d have gladly taken that over four years of Trumpwin. At least we would’ve had an actual cast member in the role.
— Leslie’s outburst at Lorne in his office is freakin’ classic.
— Excellent twist with Vanessa, playing the “mean girl” role to perfection once again in these last two seasons of her tenure.
— Why is an extra playing Cecily’s Melania Trump role, in the shots of Melania speaking to Leslie through a partially-opened limo window? It’s Cecily’s voice we’re hearing as Melania, but those aren’t her eyes that we’re seeing (the last above screencap for this short).
STARS: *****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Castle on the Hill”


GYM CLASS
(MID) repeatedly farts while breaking his high school’s sit-up record

— Alex has been all over tonight’s episode. Very nice to see, given how early in his tenure this is and how underused it feels like he’s been this season.
— Mikey has also been prominent in this episode, but that’s not unusual this season.
— Wow, is SNL kidding me with this main gag? They didn’t even TRY to subvert viewers’ expectations on where this sketch was going to go.
— I assume this sketch is going for a very self-aware “So dumb, it’s funny” approach, but it’s not even succeeding at THAT level. A shame, as Alec was usually reliable at selling the “So dumb, it’s funny” material that he was occasionally given in his previous episodes.
— The only remotely interesting(?) thing about this sketch is being aware that those fart sound effects are being vocalized live by an off-camera Steve Higgins.
STARS: *


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A good episode, and the pre-tapes especially stood out (though that’s not new for this era). Alec Baldwin somewhat redeemed himself from the “Trumpwin fatigue” that I’ve been suffering from in the post-November portion of this season, but he’s had stronger, more noteworthy hosting stints than this. If this ends up being his final hosting stint, I wish he went out on a bit of a better note.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Leslie Wants To Play Trump
Russell Stover’s Black History Heart Shaped Box
Weekend Update
Press Conference
Jake Tapper
Monologue
Pitch Meeting
Beyoncé’s Babies
Drill Sergeant
The People’s Court
Gym Class


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Kristen Stewart)
a slight step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Octavia Spencer

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September 24, 2011 – Alec Baldwin / Radiohead (S37 E1)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

EITHER THE 7TH OR 8TH GOP DEBATE
Mitt Romney (JAS) & Rick Perry (host) get top billing at GOP debate

— Bill, in that always-funny Shepard Smith voice: “Good evening, I’m Shepard Smith, and I come from a town full of secrets.”
— For tonight’s episode only, Rick Perry is played by tonight’s SNL host, Alec Baldwin. In the subsequent episodes this season that the Rick Perry impression appears in, Bill plays the role, preventing this from becoming a case of “non-cast member has to cameo every time a certain politician they once played is being spoofed”, a case that modern-day SNL viewers in 2020 are all too familiar with seeing, especially with Alec.
— A particularly hilarious part with Jason’s Mitt Romney saying, when comparing himself to each of his fellow candidates, “Next to Herman Cain–” and then silently mouthing “I’m white.”
— They repeat the exact same joke from one part of the GOP Undeclared Candidates Debate sketch from the preceding season, where Bobby’s Newt Gingrich leaves the debate early and, on his way out, high-fives the candidate played by Kenan.
— Good lines from Kristen’s Michele Bachmann.
— A laugh from Kenan-as-Herman-Cain’s ridiculous “Pizza will be there” speech.
— Paul’s voice as Ron Paul sounds VERY Will Forte-esque.
— I’m enjoying the doddering manner that Paul’s portraying Ron Paul.
— The silly atmosphere and approach of this debate sketch is enjoyable, and I’m finding it to be a fairly fun way to open the season. Fun and silly enough that the long length of it (a whopping 11 minutes, I believe) doesn’t bother me. However, the long length may hit a little too close to home for viewers of modern-day SNL episodes, from all the worrisome things I’ve heard about the stunt cameo-filled debate sketches from seasons 45 and 46. (Boy, does that make me proud to be on hiatus from watching new episodes, even if I’m going to eventually have to review those episodes when I reach that part of SNL’s timeline.)
STARS: ***½


OPENING MONTAGE
— Same montage from the preceding two seasons.
— Nasim Pedrad has been promoted from featured player to repertory player.
— No new cast members…at least for now. Towards the end of this season, we will get an addition of a certain still-currently-on-the-show-in-2020 female cast member.


MONOLOGUE
drug test certifies host’s 16th SNL gig; Steve Martin & Seth Rogen cameos

— Alec has noticeably lost weight. As we know now, though, it doesn’t last.
— Alec mentions that he’s now broken Steve Martin’s record for most times hosting SNL.
— Ha, I forgot until now that Schwetty Balls became a Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor around this time.
— Our obligatory Steve Martin cameo after the mention of him earlier.
— Funny premise with Steve making Alec take a drug test to prove he’s not taking steroids for tonight’s hosting gig.
— Now we get a rather unexpected Seth Rogen cameo.
— Steve is his usual funny self here.
— Apparently, the writers couldn’t be bothered to give Seth Rogen any funny or interesting lines, almost rendering his presence pointless.
STARS: ***½


RED FLAG
a whiff of warning pervades (KRW)’s perfume & background

— An actual solid, unique, and effective use of the ol’ overused “Wacky Wiig Showcase” trope.
— Very funny visual of Jason spitting his drink back into his cup upon learning that Kristen lived in Vegas for 11 years.
— I recall once finding out that the announcer of this commercial (who has many great lines) is Jon Hamm, surprisingly.
— Love the bit with Kristen gagging Taran’s throat with her finger while playfully touching his face.
— A very strong ad overall, and among Kristen’s best showcases in her SNL tenure.
STARS: ****½


“ALL MY CHILDREN” WRAP PARTY
melodramatic crew members reveal secrets at All My Children wrap party

— Vanessa’s coming off pretty funny as Susan Lucci.
— Alec almost looks like he’s wearing his old Greenhilly outfit, complete with a tennis racket in his hand (side-by-side comparison below).

   

— Nasim playing a character named Michelle Von Trachtenberg??? Did a 90s kid write this sketch?
— Boy, I bet the VERY odd name of Paul’s character is impossible to spell.
— I like Paul’s mock-dramatic delivery of “…or was I pushed?!?”
— Very funny bit with Andy’s character having entered the wrong room.
— A fun feel to this sketch.
— I think we’re officially at the point where the long-past-his-prime Fred starts to feel out of place on SNL, as seeing him among the cast in this ensemble sketch feels odd to me, as if I actually forgot he’s still in the cast by this point. IIRC, he comes off even MORE out-of-place the following season (which is his final season, thankfully).
— Jason is particularly hilarious in his brief appearance, including his offbeat delivery of “I operate the fans! Or was I pushed?!?”
STARS: ***½


WDHX CHANNEL 19
satellite delay impedes warning TV reporter (KRW) of rain forest animals

— A laugh from the initial satellite delay in Kristen hearing what Alec and Abby are asking her from the studio, even if this is far from an original premise.
— Meh, this is getting old fairly fast, and feels too much like the type of tired, badly-written “Wacky Wiig Showcase” that Kristen’s Red Flag commercial earlier tonight was a refreshing improvement over.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Lotus Flower”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Tony Bennett’s (host) cinema commentary drifts to long-ago stars & movies

 

— Nice to see SNL trying something different by placing Alec’s Tony Bennett on Update instead of his own talk show sketches.
— Alec-as-Bennett’s “Heb-bro” line about John Garfield was hilarious.
— Even in this new setting, Alec’s Bennett is just as funny as ever, especially his Poise Pads promo.
— The second consecutive episode with a short Update, which is rare and refreshing for the solo Seth Meyers era. Tonight’s Update was particularly short.
STARS: ***½


WHO’S ON TOP?
game show contestants mull hypothetical gay male couplings

— Ah, a favorite one-off sketch of mine.
— The second consecutive episode with Bill’s Vince Blight character, mostly known as the game show host of the What’s That Name sketches.
— An absolutely hilarious blunt reveal of the concept of this game show. Also hilarious is Jason’s reaction to that blunt reveal, with him saying “No, no thank you, I’m not playin’ this”, and then immediately walking off the show.
— The hypothetical celebrity couplings are increasingly hilarious with each passing question.
— I love Alec’s “I was just thinking about this…” when he’s given the “who’s on top?” choice between Timon and Pumbaa.
— Even the little throwaway gags are great, such as Bill tensely warning Alec that he only has 10 more minutes to answer the first question, and the “Still no sponsors?” bit.
— A particularly hilarious part of the speed round, where, as soon as Paul Giamatti is mentioned as the first of two celebrities hypothetically coupled together, Alec IMMEDIATELY answers “The other guy!” without even hearing who the other guy is.
— Even the ending is priceless, with Alec responding to the choice of “You can walk away now, or lose it all” by carelessly saying “I wanna lose it all!”, which results in him, of course, losing all his money, which he apparently didn’t expect to actually happen, as it leaves him absolutely SPEECHLESS.
STARS: *****


TOP GUN 25TH ANNIVERSARY DVD
Top Gun DVD extras include unsuccessful screen tests

— These screen tests pieces are usually always really fun, even if they’ll never measure up to the original Star Wars ones from season 22.
— Hmm, Alec playing Al Pacino, even though that’s usually Bill’s impression?
— Much like in the Back To The Future screen test pieces from the preceding season, then-writer Colin Jost can be seen a few times throughout this as the marker (seen in the fourth above screencap for this piece).
— As expected, I’m having a blast and am laughing so much throughout this entire thing.
— Taran is strangely making Tom Hanks sound like a campy 1960s gay guy. I’ve seen Taran do a better Tom Hanks impression in a clip from the show Scrubs.
— I absolutely love how all of the audition scenes with Bill’s Harvey Fierstein are just him questioning all the homoerotic lines in the Top Gun script.
— This was cut after dress rehearsal from the preceding season’s finale, but some of the celebrity impressions that were reported to have appeared in that version aren’t seen in tonight’s aired version. One of the cut celebrity impressions is Dennis Miller, played by Seth in a rare non-Weekend Update appearance. I’m very curious to see what Seth’s Dennis Miller impression was like.
STARS: ****½


CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST
child psychologist’s (host) daughter (NAP) tests theories & (VAB)’s will

— Nice to see Vanessa getting quite a lot of airtime tonight for a second-season featured player, especially given the fact that she was, sadly, given no airtime AT ALL in the preceding episode, the season 36 finale. Unfortunately, though, tonight seems to be Jay Pharoah’s turn to get the shaft, as he’s the one who gets no airtime in tonight’s season premiere (and, IIRC, he can be seen looking a tad sullen during the goodnights).
— A laugh from Nasim’s entrance, just making whining noises while slowly passing through the background without actually saying anything.
— Lots of funny increasingly troublesome actions from Nasim, who’s doing yet another good job playing a child.
— I have no idea how Nasim’s keeping herself in the air without falling down while her character is leaning on top of the dish cabinet in a hazardous manner (the seventh and eighth above screencaps for this sketch). Are there wires secretly holding her up or something?
— Hmm, interesting twist at the end.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Staircase”


ANGELS IN THE TRENCHES
(TAK) fields mortally-wounded soldiers’ final message delivery requests

— Some laughs from the increasingly awful things Alec makes Taran promise to tell Alec’s family, as his dying wish.
— Very funny how the various dying soldiers’ increasingly outlandish requests have now turned into a whole bunch of immature “Your mother’s so fat” jokes.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very solid and fun season premiere, and felt better than ANY of the episodes from the blandly-average preceding season. Aside from the WDHX Channel 19 sketch, I enjoyed every single segment tonight, and there were a few great standout segments. Another refreshing thing about this season premiere is that there were no recurring sketches at all, surprisingly, which is especially welcome after how the preceding season’s finale was comprised entirely of recurring sketches.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Who’s On Top?
Red Flag
Top Gun 25th Anniversary DVD
“All My Children” Wrap Party
Child Psychologist
Angels In The Trenches
Either The 7th Or 8th GOP Debate
Monologue
Weekend Update
WDHX Channel 19


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (2010-11)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Melissa McCarthy makes her hosting debut

Posted on

May 15, 2010 – Alec Baldwin / Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers (S35 E22)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

OIL SPILL PRESS CONFERENCE
Tony Hayward (BIH) lists absurd ideas to stop Deepwater Horizon oil spill

— I love Jason’s little “We’re baaaaaack” early on.
— I’m really enjoying the accent Bill’s using.
— Some decent laughs from the absurd ideas of how to stop the oil spill, such as “Dolphins With Mops”.
— Bill’s delivery of the line “we will get back to do what we do best: robbing you blind at the gas pump” made me laugh, and deserved a better audience reaction.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
host shunts Steve Martin-on-tape [real] & gives SNL commencement address

— Our obligatory Betty White mention, with Alec Baldwin mentioning in a jokingly bragging manner that he’s hosted 14 times more than Betty.
— Alec mentions he’s now tied Steve Martin in number of SNL hosting stints, and we get a welcome callback to the famous SNL “rivalry” between Alec and Steve.
— Second monologue in these past five episodes to have a Steve Martin cameo.
— Another Betty White reference, with Steve humorously thanking Facebook Mexico for campaigning for him to appear in this monologue.
— I like Steve re-activating the TV monitor he was on that Alec had just turned off.
— Interesting premise of an “SNL commencement address”, which is very fitting for a season finale.
— Meh, Alec’s commencement speech is kinda losing me.
— Okay, I did like the Charlie Sheen twist just now at the end of the commencement speech.
— When telling us Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers are here, Alec doesn’t follow it with the usual “Stick around, we’ll be right back” final words. The monologue instead just ends without him saying it.
STARS: **½


GREAT DAY
coked-up (ANS) blithely wrecks his life; Tom Petty cameo

— Already some big laughs right from the start of the song performed by a coked-up Andy.
— A great “HEY, GET THE (*BLEEP*) OFF ME!!!” outburst from Andy when one of the backup dancers innocently taps him on the shoulder.
— This already-funny song has now gotten even more hilarious when the tempo has gotten much faster in an insane way.
— Good way to include both the host and musical guest.
— A priceless shot of Andy suddenly saying “OR WAS IT?!?” into the camera with a cartoonishly demonic face and voice.
STARS: ****½


ARIZONA EVENINGS
incompetent bucktoothed script supervisor Starfish (KRW) ruins soap opera

— Meh at the reveal of this new wacky Starfish character (who thankfully never goes on to become a recurring character). From the traits we’re seeing of Starfish so far, she seems way too typical of Kristen’s general characters.
— An AWFUL main joke with Starfish repeatedly interrupting the filming by walking into the shot or blocking the camera with various things.
— Was that “ending” even an ending?
— Overall, I found this sketch to be completely laughless. Even typically weak Wacky Wiig Showcase sketches like the Don’t Make Me Sing sketch from earlier this season had some merits, unlike this Starfish sketch.
STARS: *


SWIM TEAM AWARDS
coach (host) disses his swimmers at a high school sports awards banquet

 

— (*sigh*) Will Forte’s final appearance as a cast member. And it’s only a very brief, non-comedic role at the beginning of this sketch, which is also his ONLY appearance all night. Geez. I’m aware that it wasn’t known by SNL at the time that this would end up being Will’s final episode (I believe, a week or so later, Will would say in an interview for the movie MacGruber that he’s planning on returning to SNL for another season), but still, this is an extremely disappointing way for such a strong and reliable 8-year veteran to spend his final episode.
— Some funny insults from Alec towards each swim team member he presents an award to.
— Very typical that Fred would be cast as the character of this sketch who’s accused of being gay.
— I love the little exchange between Alec and Jason.
— Another good exchange, this time between Alec and Kenan.
— A fairly interesting way to get the entire cast to appear in a sketch, one-by-one, even if most of them aren’t being truly utilized here, as most of them are given nothing noteworthy to do. I always like when a season finale has a sketch that uses the entire cast, though I prefer said sketch to air at the end of the show.
STARS: ***


BIRTHDAY COOKOUT
at her 14th birthday party, non-juvenile Bedelia worships her dad (host)

— Good to see the return of this solid slice-of-life character of Nasim’s. Also nice to see this sketch appearing in a much earlier spot than it did in its first installment earlier this season.
— At the beginning of this sketch, Alec accidentally calls Nasim’s Bedelia character “Belinda”.
— Between the first installment of this sketch and tonight’s installment, it’s interesting how Bedelia’s parents are played by the two leads of the show 30 Rock (Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin).
— Bedelia to her father: “Heard mom doesn’t want anymore kids. You gettin’ snipped?”
— A funny inappropriate and unsettling compliment from Bedelia about how her dad’s new fit shape has probably carried over into the bedroom.
— This sketch ends in basically the same way the first installment of this sketch did, with Bedelia meeting her male counterpart, but I like this installment’s ending better, as it doesn’t have Bedelia’s male counterpart being played by Justin Freakin’ Bieber, who’s overexposed presence in that episode soured the ending of that night’s Bedelia sketch for me.
STARS: ****


PRENIVA
Sally Field (ABE) recommends Preniva after fomenting bone loss fears

— A very solid Sally Field impression from Abby, and it’s good to see Abby front-and-center in a rare showcase.
— Abby’s Sally Field, after disclosing some harrowing facts about bone loss: “Are ya bummed yet?”
— I like Abby-as-Field’s ending line, “I’m not f(*bleep*)ing around, you guys”, delivered in a suddenly stern manner.
STARS: ***


GRADY WILSON’S INTIMATE & INTERNATIONAL
Greek (host) & Grady Wilson partner for sex DVD

— I feel like I’m finding Grady Wilson’s sex moves less and less funny with each passing installment of this sketch.
— At least Alec’s humorous Greek accent is providing some chuckles to the otherwise fairly stale feel of these sex move demonstrations. His delivery of “I poke you” during the Facebook scene is especially funny to me.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “I Should Have Known It”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Snooki (BOM) is ready for Jersey Shore’s summer excursion to Miami

Stefon isn’t able to think of mainstream attractions for NYC travelers

unrehearsed Garth & Kat preview their outdoor summer concert series

— Bobby’s always very fun as Snooki, managing to make both the tired man-in-drag trope and some of the hacky orange jokes work.
— I absolutely love Bobby-as-Snooki’s legitimately funny explanation for why her nickname is Prison Jumpsuit: “Because I’m bright orange, and once I’m on you, you really start to question the life decisions that led you to this point.”
— Showing what an instant hit Stefon’s first Update appearance was, SNL already brings him back just two episodes later, and he already gets HUGE cheers from the audience upon his entrance tonight. He’s broken out and has become a beloved character a lot faster than most Update characters.
— One of the bizarre club features Stefon mentions is a cat from a bodega. Knowing that John Mulaney writes these Stefon pieces, that bodega mention reminds me of a Bodega Bathroom sketch that I heard Mulaney would later star in and (I assume) write himself in one of his hosting stints, as part of a series of musical epics that traditionally appear in Mulaney-hosted episodes. (I can only go by what I’ve heard on online SNL boards, because, remember, I’ve been on a still-ongoing hiatus from watching new SNL episodes since December 2018, and thus, the only one of those musical epics from Mulaney-hosted episodes that I’ve seen is the first one: Diner Lobster.)
— My favorite bizarre club features mentioned by Stefon in tonight’s commentary are Germfs (German Smurfs) and D.J. Baby Bok Choy.
— Oh, are you kidding me? In an Update with Stefon, SNL instead chooses to have fucking GARTH AND KAT close this season of Update out?!? Get this mess off my screen.
STARS: ***


TIMECROWAVE
meals cooked in the Timecrowave can disrupt the space-time continuum

— After a very-straightforward-though-subtly-funny first minute-and-a-half of this sketch, this has started to get really amusing and fun with all the history-altered differences in Alec and Kristen’s respective physical appearance each time the camera cuts to an individual close-up of them.
— The second consecutive segment tonight with Bobby in drag. Amusingly, his fingers noticeably still have a faint tinge of orange left over from his Snooki makeup on Weekend Update.
— A hilarious background gag with Nazi flags now appearing on the houses seen through the background window.
— Alec has begun accidentally delivering his long spiel right now into the wrong camera.
— I love the creepy ending with the giant cat outside the window, and how the giant cat meows in an unsettling slow, deep voice.
STARS: ****


WHISTLE IF YOU CAN
in a 1952 movie, (host) humanizes a hooker (JES) before re-debasing her

— This ends up being Jenny’s final SNL appearance as a cast member before getting fired that summer, but at least this final appearance of hers is a co-starring role. Rather surprising in hindsight that she, a one-season featured player not known for doing all that much on the show, gets a big showcase in what ends up being her final episode while Will, an established veteran, got nothing but a bit role tonight (even though it wasn’t known at this time that neither Will nor Jenny would return the following season).
— After a season of some iffy performances and occasional gaffes, Jenny’s actually giving a very solid performance here. This fact is bittersweet in hindsight, as it makes you wonder what might’ve been if Jenny had been given a second season to continue the growth she’s showing as a performer in this sketch.
— A big laugh from the twist with Alec’s blunt “Gertrude….give me a handjob” request, after his tender and heartwarming treatment of her.
STARS: ***½


SNIPERS
snipers (JAS) & (KET) don’t know if (host) wants them to take the shot

— Jason playing another character from his real-life hometown of Kansas City, I see.
— Alec’s performance is pretty fun here so far.
— The conceit of this sketch just doesn’t work, especially when you can very easily tell what supposedly-unintelligible thing Alec is yelling (“Taayy the shaaahhh” = “Take the shot”).
— What the hell just happened? Alec seemed to mistakenly jump ahead of the script before realizing his mistake: he got on top of Jason’s body as if he was about to begin to do something, but then he laughed out of character, immediately got off of Jason, and then rolled over to Kenan to do the part of the sketch that he was apparently supposed to do. Jason’s facial reaction to this blooper was kinda funny.
— Alec has now mistakenly started saying his “God, you must be addicted to doing squats” line to Jason too early, before he even got on top of Jason’s body (the latter of which explains why Alec mistakenly got on top of Jason’s body at the wrong time a little earlier in the sketch, as mentioned above). Some of this sloppiness in Alec’s performance isn’t helping the weak script of this sketch.
— All of Alec’s occasional homoerotic lines towards Jason and Kenan are just unnecessary, but that’s season 35 for you.
— A very lame twist with Alec revealing that his yells of “Taayy the shaaahhh” actually meant “Stand by”, because, as he explains, “I’m inconsistent”. Blah.
— This ends up being our final sketch of the season? Disappointing.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Jefferson Jericho Blues”


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A better season finale than I remember, which I guess is fitting, given the fact that this season as a whole was not as bad as I and certain others had remembered. (I’m aware that, in my recent review of this season’s Zach Galifianakis episode, I provided a link to an old 2010 review of mine that contained a huge rant about how supposedly “bad” this season was, as I wanted to give you readers an idea of how this season was perceived by me and certain others back when it originally aired, but here’s a different link to another long rant of mine about the “bad” quality of this season, in my end-of-season wrap-up from my original 2010 review of this Baldwin season finale [the rant can be seen in the last large group of paragraphs at the end of the review].) For the most part, Alec Baldwin was good tonight, but this certainly wasn’t one of his more memorable hosting stints, and he also seemed a little sloppier than usual, noticeably making some Gabourey Sidibe-esque flubs throughout the episode.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Great Day
Birthday Cookout
Timecrowave
Whistle If You Can
Swim Team Awards
Preniva
Oil Spill Press Conference
Weekend Update
Monologue
Grady Wilson’s Intimate & International
Snipers
Arizona Evenings


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Betty White)
a slight step down


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS ENTIRE SEASON, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS OVERALL SEASON STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (2008-09)
a step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Season 36 begins, with host Amy Poehler, and four new additions to the cast

Posted on

February 14, 2009 – Alec Baldwin / Jonas Brothers (S34 E16)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

REPUBLICAN CONGRESSIONAL LEADERSHIP MEETING
John Boehner (DAA) & fellow GOP lawmakers misread the political landscape

— This cold opening immediately opens on a random Dan Aykroyd cameo as John Boehner. Reportedly, Dan was thrown into this role after dress rehearsal, because a dress rehearsal sketch he was in (a Jeff Montgomery sketch) didn’t make it to the live show. (Not sure if there were any other cut-after-dress sketches that Dan was in for this episode.) I think I recall hearing host Alec Baldwin played Boehner in the dress rehearsal version of this.
— Some good laughs from the republicans’ overconfidence in how “well” they’re doing and how “badly” President Obama is doing.
— I like Jason getting VERY worked up over Andy’s mere opinion that Sean Hannity is as smart as Rush Limbaugh.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
host is upstaged by his 30 Rock co-star Jack McBrayer [real]

— I remember a few online SNL fans back at this time in 2009 were bothered by Alec’s “Thank you, Christian Bale” bit at the beginning of this monologue (in which Alec expresses relief that Christian Bale replaced him as the celebrity infamous for a recorded meltdown that was leaked online), because those SNL fans felt Bale chewing out some crew member (or whoever he was yelling at, I can’t remember) does not compare to how awful it was that Alec harshly berated his own then-pre-teen daughter on a voicemail message.
— I love the look of Fred’s character.
— Pretty funny reveal that Bobby’s character wants Alec to take a picture of him with Jack McBrayer, when Alec initially assumed Bobby wanted a photo of himself and Alec.
— A laugh from Alec’s guilty facial reaction to McBrayer saying he doesn’t want to seem desperate by hosting SNL more than once or twice.
STARS: ***


THE OLDEST JONAS
host tries to convince musical guest that he’s the oldest Jonas brother

— Uh-oh. A sketch opening with just the Jonas Brothers alone, with nobody else onscreen, is very worrisome.
— Thankfully, Alec has shown up. Not too crazy, though, about this premise of him playing a Jonas Brother.
— Turns out Alec’s characterization here is pretty funny, but this sketch itself still isn’t doing much for me.
— The bit with the purity ring is decent.
— WTF was with that ending with Alec’s character revealing he’s Alec Baldwin, “but not the Alec Baldwin from 30 Rock”? I just found that baffling and unfunny.
STARS: **


THE COUGAR DEN
cougay (host) has written a book on nabbing younger men

 

— Amy Poehler’s co-host character from this recurring sketch has been replaced with a new co-host character played by Michaela. I’m sure the intention at this time was to have Michaela’s new character become a regular part of these sketches, but that plan would end up falling through, because 1) this ends up being the final aired installment of this sketch, 2) SNL would attempt an installment of this sketch the following season (I can’t remember which episode), AFTER not just Michaela’s firing, but also Casey’s firing, but the sketch would get cut after dress rehearsal, and 3) that cut-after-dress attempt had Michaela and Casey’s roles replaced with characters played by Abby and, IIRC, then-cast member Jenny Slate (if not the latter, then it was the also-then-cast member Nasim Pedrad). The fact that SNL had to keep frequently replacing the roles of the co-host characters in this recurring sketch in such a short time span perfectly illustrates the unfortunate insane turnover most of SNL’s female cast frequently went through during these Wiig Dominance years. (Another thing that perfectly illustrates that are the Lawrence Welk Show sketches, because the lineup of female cast members who play Dooneese’s sisters changes EVERY DAMN TIME.) Also, it’s very hard for me to picture a 22-year-old Abby Elliott being even REMOTELY believable in the role of a middle-aged cougar.
— With the departure of Amy Poehler, who previously played the leader of the three co-hosts of this recurring sketch, Kristen’s character has now taken over as the leader of the co-hosts. And I guess Casey’s character has now taken Kristen’s character’s former place as the second-in-command.
— Meh at Alec playing a lispy “Cou-gay”.
— Here’s Cameron Diaz making her obligatory Cougar Den appearance. Speaking of which, the aforementioned cut-after-dress-rehearsal installment of this sketch from the following season didn’t have Cameron, IIRC.
— Kristen’s McDonalds story made me laugh.
— In dress rehearsal, Bill, Will, and Andy’s roles were played by the Jonas Brothers. I wonder if the reason SNL recast the roles was because they perhaps felt it was too inappropriate to have them in a sketch with Cameron Diaz’s cougar character “pouncing” on them.
— I hate to say it, but the running bit with Kenan insulting the cougars is getting old for me. And tonight’s Cougar Den installment is relying WAY too heavily on the bug-eyed “Kenan Reacts” cutaway shots each time after he insults the cougars. Between that lame “Issues” sketch from the then-recent Steve Martin episode and now this, SNL is really abusing the “Kenan Reacts” trope lately.
— Has Michaela said a single word in the entire last two-thirds of this sketch? It’s like, after her intro statement when she was introduced at the beginning of this, the writers forgot to write her ANY lines for the remainder of this sketch. It seems as if she’s been sitting there silently almost the entire time.
— Overall, it’s a good thing this ends up being the final aired installment of this sketch. I liked this sketch quite a lot in its first installment, but I’ve come to realize that I don’t care for it as a recurring sketch.
STARS: **


PROPERTY OF THE QUEEN
a 1983 hair band video is ANS’s proof of musical guest’s sorcerous youth

— A good believable 80s look and visual quality to the old music videos of the Jonas Brothers. Can’t say I’m laughing much, though.
— Bill is hilarious as the wizard in the last music video.
— Overall, pretty meh for Lonely Island standards.
STARS: **


SIR MIX-A-LOT’S PHOTO SHOP
Sir Mix-A-Lot’s (KET) Photo Shop enhances butts on customers’ snapshots

— Random premise, but I’m not dismissing it.
— I like Casey’s vocal imitation of the “Oh…mah…gawd” girl from the “Baby Got Back” music video (who always kinda reminded me of SNL’s own Melanie Hutsell, by the way).
— This sketch isn’t all that funny, but Kenan’s energy is fun.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Tonight”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Oscar Rogers says it’s time to “do it” now that the economy is “fixed”

Angelina Jolie (ABE) is disappointed to find no babies on Weekend Update

snarky blogger Angie Tempura (MIW) hates on celebs with “bitch, pleeze”

uncommunicative Joaquin Phoenix (JAS) now wants to be a stand-up comic

 

— Kenan’s “Fix It!” character, Oscar Rogers, makes his first and ONLY appearance in a regular SNL episode, but he actually previously appeared in two Weekend Update Thursday specials earlier this season.
— I love Kenan’s pronunciation of his “Do It!” exclamations (sounds like “Duurrr It!”).
— Another random, abrupt walk-on from Abby’s Angelina Jolie, just two episodes after her first one.
— I laughed at Abby’s brief Angelina Jolie bit tonight, but it tread the exact same ground from her previous Update walk-on.
— The debut of the “Bitch, Pleeze” blogger character, Angie Tempura, who Michaela would be most remembered for from her short-lived SNL tenure.
— Michaela’s commentary so far is…….odd. I can’t say it’s working for me so far, despite how much I really want to like it.
— Feels odd seeing a Taraji P. Henson mention on SNL in 2009. I thought she didn’t start to become well-known until years later around 2014/2015, when Empire was the hot new show.
— I guess I get what Michaela’s bit is going for, spoofing then-current bloggers who’s whole thing is snarking on celebrities, but I’m not caring for Michaela’s execution of it, nor her constant exaggerated utterances of “Bitch, pleeze”. I recall this character being well-liked by a lot of online SNL fans back in 2009, including myself, so I’m not sure why this character isn’t working for me anymore 11 years later. I gotta say, between Michaela’s meh Barbara Walters impression in the View sketches and now this, I’ve been disheartened to discover that some of the things Michaela did during her short-lived SNL tenure aren’t anywhere near as good as I had remembered.
— Ha, an appearance from Jason as a heavily-bearded, sunglasses-wearing Joaquin Phoenix, spoofing his infamous then-recent Letterman interview.
— Throughout the Joaquin Phoenix commentary, I love the uncomfortable, drawn-out, awkward gaps of silence (again, accurately spoofing the Letterman interview).
— After Jason’s Phoenix leaves, I like how Seth says in an ad-lib(?) “We need better security out here!”, referring to how both Angelina Jolie AND Joaquin Phoenix abruptly popped up on him on separate occasions tonight.
— Wait, did this overall Update seriously have FOUR separate guests? Very unusual, though Abby’s bit wasn’t an outright commentary as much as it was just a quick walk-on.
STARS: ***


VINCENT PRICE’S VALENTINE’S DAY SPECIAL
romance is elusive on Vincent Price’s (BIH) Valentine’s Day Special

— Good to see this sketch back again, and it seems fitting that it’s appearing in an Alec Baldwin episode, given how reliable he is at emulating the Old Hollywood style.
— Very amusing Carol Channing voice from Kristen.
— Though it’s yet another gay Liberace joke in these Vincent Price sketches, I admit to getting a good laugh from Fred-as-Liberace’s “The fleet shipped out yesterday” response when asked where his valentine is.
— Another gay Liberace joke gave me a laugh just now, with him gleefully responding “Plenty!” when Bill’s Vincent Price asks what’s so great about a strange hand sticking out of a hole. I kinda hate to say it, but I may have to deem the gay Liberace jokes from these Vincent Price sketches to be a guilty pleasure of mine (maybe there’s just something about the fun atmosphere of these Vincent Price sketches that make those gay jokes work better than they would’ve in any other sketch), but we’ll see if I eventually get tired of the gay jokes in subsequent installments of this sketch.
— A huge laugh from Kristen’s Carol Channing sitting on the disembodied hand.
STARS: ****


SCHEDULING
businessmen Carl, Jerry, Troy (host) fail to schedule a meeting time

— Ha, the return of the Fart Face characters, Carl and Jerry. As one of seemingly VERY few people back in 2008/2009 who loved (and still does to this day) the original Fart Face sketch, it’s good to see these characters back. Given how notoriously poorly-received their first sketch was, I’m glad SNL is taking a chance by bringing them back anyway.
— A big laugh from the visual of Will in that ridiculously small toupee on the middle of his head, and him eventually mentioning that it doesn’t give him the coverage he wants.
— I rarely, if ever, criticize Bill Hader, but his delivery of his line about his aunt weighing 400 pounds was very weak, and caused that line to bomb with the audience.
— Another gloryhole reference tonight?
— I love Will constantly saying a gruffly-delivered “Carol, hold my caaaallllss!” throughout this sketch. That line really sticks with you (or at least me) over the years.
— An overall decent sketch, but to me, this paled badly in comparison to the original Fart Face sketch.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL GUEST INTRO
host & nieces Alia & Hailey Baldwin [real] introduce musical guest


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Video Girl”


WII GUYS
(host)’s masturbatory experience makes him an instant Wii expert

— A sketch that sticks in your memory.
— A very juvenile conceit to this sketch, but I’m definitely laughing, and Alec is good at selling dumb humor like this.
— I found the “I’m gonna empty my sack before you do!” line to be particularly funny.
— Amusing turn with Alec suggestively shaking both his and Jason’s Wii controls simultaneously.
— While SNL’s certainly had better “unintentionally dirty” sketches, even just Alec Baldwin-involved ones (Schwetty Balls, anyone?), I’m still enjoying this sketch.
— A good line with Alec saying “Oh, trust me, your mother’s gonna be a natural” in regards to shaking the Wii control.
STARS: ***½


CHEWABLE PAMPERS
Rerun from 1/31/09


VIRGANIA HORSEN’S HOT AIR BALLOON RIDES
WTF? Two repeated ads IN A ROW??? (A commercial break separated these two repeated ads, but still…) This just may be an unprecedented move in SNL history. And this particular repeated ad isn’t even from this season, it’s from the preceding season’s Tina Fey-hosted episode. Not only is it very strange that we’re getting TWO consecutive repeated commercials tonight, but 1) both of these repeated commercials happen to star Kristen, adding further fuel to the “SNL is starting to focus way too heavily on Kristen Wiig” complaints on SNL message boards back then, and 2) this Virgania Horsen bit is an odd choice to rerun, given the fact that it doesn’t follow the structure or format of a traditional pre-taped SNL commercial.


FIRST COUGHS: MASTERING THE ART OF FORESHADOWING YOUR CHARACTER’S DEATH
host’s acting techniques DVD shows how to foreshadow death with a cough

— Decent premise, and Alec is a perfect spokesman for this.
— Great execution from Bill during his bit about reacting to blood he coughs onto a handkerchief.
STARS: ***


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A meh episode for Alec Baldwin standards. The first half of the episode was very mediocre, though there was a boost in quality in the post-Weekend Update half of the show. Even with that boost, though, there was almost nothing all night that stood out as particularly strong.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Vincent Price’s Valentine’s Day Special
Wii Guys
Monologue
First Coughs: Mastering The Art Of Foreshadowing Your Character’s Death
Scheduling
Weekend Update
Republican Congressional Leadership Meeting
Sir Mix-A-Lot’s Photo Shop
Property Of The Queen
The Cougar Den
The Oldest Jonas


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Bradley Cooper)
a step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Dwayne Johnson

Posted on

November 11, 2006 – Alec Baldwin / Christina Aguilera (S32 E5)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

A MESSAGE FROM THE SPEAKER ELECT
Nancy Pelosi’s (KRW) platform confirms worst fears about Democrat control

— Interesting seeing Kristen at this early stage of her SNL tenure front-and-center in an address-to-the-nation cold opening, for her first time ever.
— Kristen’s Nancy Pelosi: “We Americans have always been a religious people, a member on my staff tells me.”
— So many funny announcements from Kristen’s Nancy Pelosi, even the line about gerbils.
— I love Will’s casual, affable delivery while dressed in a ridiculous S&M outfit.
— A very fun spoof of democrats.
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
host & 30 Rock co-stars TIF & TRM give their credentials

— As the camera is panning down to the home base stage during Alec Baldwin’s entrance, two people in the floor seats actually give Alec a standing ovation (screencap below).

— I’m getting some laughs from Alec’s smug bragging about how he has no competition in terms of stars on the struggling NBC.
— Tina Fey in her first cameo after leaving the cast.
— Tracy Morgan’s various Star Wars one-liners are funny, especially his very Tracy Morgan-y one-liner “I’m personal friends with Obi-Wan Kenobi.”
— I love Alec imitating Tracy’s voice when saying “And I’m five to infinity!” Alec would later reprise this Tracy Morgan vocal imitation in SNL’s 40th Anniversary Special, when him and Tina do a tribute of sorts to the then-ailing Tracy (this was when he was recovering from his tragic car accident).
STARS: ***½


E-ZDATE.COM
online matchmaker e-zdate.com is a thinly-veiled front for prostitution

— Believe it or not, this is the FIRST pre-taped commercial to air all season. I can’t think of any other seasons before or after this where the first-aired pre-taped commercial was THIS far into the season. I think season 42 comes close; IIRC, the first pre-taped commercial of that season to air, “Chonk”, isn’t until the third episode of the season.
— Kenan’s line about “the behind” being the location he chose to spend his date was hilarious.
— Aside from Kenan’s aforementioned line and another laugh, this overall commercial didn’t do much for me.
STARS: **


BRITNEY’S DIVORCE
Britney Spears’ (AMP) grievances justify her divorce from Kevin Federline

— Well, I see an annoying remnant of the Tina Fey era, in which sketches overly obsessed with celebrity gossip and pop culture are placed upfront in episodes, has manifested itself into the early stages of this new post-Fey era. Yeah, not too thrilled about that.
— Amy-as-Britney’s line about getting “panty crickets” after Kevin Federline met Alyssa Milano was hilarious.
— Funny ending reveal from Britney about leaving her babies in the car for an hour.
— Despite some laughs, I was a little lukewarm on this sketch as a whole, and it probably would’ve worked better for me had it been placed later in the episode.
STARS: **½


SADDAM’S DEFENSE TEAM
condemned Saddam Hussein (host) meets with his lawyers (BIH) & (FRA)

— Alec’s Saddam Hussein impression from Alec’s season 31 episode returns for its final appearance.
— Two sketches IN A ROW that center around a famous person meeting with their lawyer(s)? Feels kinda redundant.
— Only 40 seconds into this sketch, and I’m already VERY sick of all the unfunny pop culture/TV show references Alec’s Saddam is constantly making. SNL has such an annoying habit of having foreign dictators do that.
— I do kinda like the touch of Alec’s Saddam sticking his head back into the room at the very end of this sketch (right as the screen is about to fade to black) to loudly join in on Bill and Fred’s nervous laughter, a move on Alec’s part that I’m assuming is an ad-lib.
— Overall, this sketch did almost NOTHING for me. Between the Britney sketch and this (and even the e-zdate.com commercial), this episode has not been starting off well post-monologue.
STARS: *½


VALTREX
(AMP)’s husband’s (host) Valtrex use calls his fidelity into question

— Wow, two pre-taped commercials early in tonight’s episode. Maybe SNL’s making up for lost time.
— Seeing a medication commercial with Alec paired with a female cast member as his wife reminds me of the Tylenol BM commercial Alec did with Rachel Dratch the preceding season.
— Alec’s trademark delivery is so perfect for this, and the implications of his character’s infidelity are funny.
— Overall, short and sweet.
STARS: ***½


CARPOOL
unlikely conversational missteps plague carpoolers (host) & (KRW)

— A very well-loved sketch.
— Very funny part with Kristen revealing that the Celine Dion song playing on the car radio is a CD, followed by Kristen disclosing to Alec a hilarious dramatic story about once having been rescued by Celine Dion.
— I’m absolutely loving how Alec and Kristen are each being offended by literally every single thing the other says or does, as it brings back a very touchy memory for them. And the escalation of the absurdity to these offenses is fantastic. There was a sketch with a similar premise in the season 13 Angie Dickinson episode (as I mentioned in this review of that episode), but I doubt many people remember that sketch compared to this one, and that’s understandable, as the Angie Dickinson sketch was, while not bad, completely unmemorable, and pales in comparison to the expert way this Carpool sketch is executing the similar premise.
— The on-point delivery from both Alec and Kristen is complementing this material so perfectly. Kristen is particularly fantastic here. One of her all-time best SNL performances.
— Hilarious reveal of Kristen being metal from the waist down.
— And there’s the moment that solidifies this already-fantastic sketch as a bonafide classic: Alec immediately blurting out “Bobby McFerrin raped my grandmother” in response to Kristen attempting to lighten the mood by affably saying “Don’t worry, be happy.” I remember when this sketch originally aired, that Bobby McFerrin one-liner of Alec’s gave me one of the hardest laughs I have EVER gotten from SNL. I’ll never forget that.
— Alec’s priceless Bobby McFerrin line is capped off well by the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” immediately playing on the car radio when Kristen turns it on in an attempt to get Alec’s mind off of what he had just said about Bobby McFerrin. Great way to end this sketch. I heard there’s some versions of this sketch that shorten the ending, fading to black immediately after Alec’s Bobby McFerrin one-liner, presumably because of music licensing issues involving the use of the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”. I can’t remember if I’ve ever seen this edited version of the sketch, but the shortened ending sounds like it would still be a perfect way to end this sketch.
— Overall, an absolute masterpiece.
STARS: *****


TV FUNHOUSE
“Kobayashi” [real] by RBS- champion hot dog eater saves the day in anime

— A hilarious and brilliant idea of a Takeru Kobayashi-starring anime superhero series. And as Robert Smigel has proven with the Ah-Lin The Skater Man cartoon from season 23, he’s adept at spoofing the anime genre.
— The cutaway to an anime Refrigerator Perry saying a shocked “Damn!” was hilarious.
— Very strong execution of this TV Funhouse.
— Wow, this is even involving the real Kobayashi in live-action interstitial scenes.
— A big laugh from the brief cutaway to a child puking in the toilet during the upbeat live-action musical scene with Kobayashi and the children.
STARS: ****½


THE PLATINUM LOUNGE
Steve Martin [real] rues host’s 13th SNL gig; MAS & Paul McCartney cameos

— Oh, words cannot express how I love that SNL is doing a variation of the Five-Timers Club concept, by having a Platinum Lounge for people who have hosted over 12 times.
— A big laugh from Alec immediately going from telling Maya he’ll allow her to visit the exclusive Platinum Lounge club to telling her a half-hearted, dismissive “I’m sorry, Maya, I did what I could” when the doorman doesn’t allow her into the club.
— Steve Martin! And it’s wonderful that SNL is continuing the premise of the Steve Martin/Alec Baldwin rivalry that was established in Steve’s episode from the preceding season.
— Ha, Martin Short randomly playing the waiter of the Platinum Lounge! And I love how Steve comments on that by just telling Alec “It’s sad.”
— Very fun bit with Steve’s attempts at poisoning Alec’s drink.
— I love Steve trying to make Alec continue looking out the window while panickedly trying to wipe up Alec’s drink that has overflowed after Steve poisoned it.
— Alec, while violently kicking Steve on the floor: “I…was in…Schwetty….Balls!”
— As an SNL nerd, and the fact that doing this SNL project has basically and unintentionally made an SNL historian out of me, I love how, when Alec is rapidly running down the dates of all of Steve Martin’s hosting stints, he mumbles the actual dates of Steve’s first few episodes (October 23, 1976, February 26, 1977, September 24, 1977, three times in 1978) before resorting to just mumbling fast-paced gibberish for the rest of the dates.
— Paul McCartney! And judging from Alec’s reaction, Alec was not expecting this. His shocked facial reaction to Paul’s cameo looks 100% genuine. I’m assuming SNL sprung this as a surprise to Alec. I recall hearing that a surprise Paul McCartney cameo being sprung on Alec would later happen again in a live 30 Rock episode. Is that true? I’ve never seen that 30 Rock episode myself.
— The ending between Steve, Paul, and Martin seems ad-libbed, adding further evidence that Paul’s cameo was most likely thrown in at the last minute.
STARS: *****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Ain’t No Other Man”


WEEKEND UPDATE
process of moving Donald Rumsfeld (DAH) from his office allegorizes Iraq

AMP’s irked Aunt Linda (KRW) gives eye-rolling reviews of new movies

waiter’s (ANS) misplaced decimal point produced Tom Cruise’s $10,000 meal

 

— Interesting change of pace by having Seth do a live (though we’re told it’s taped) interview of Darrell’s Donald Rumsfeld on a different set.
— I’m not caring for the the bit with Kenan’s mover character during the Rumsfeld interview, and how Kenan’s failure to move the couch is alluding to the Iraq situation.
— The overall Donald Rumsfeld/couch mover segment fell badly flat for me. SNL would later replace this segment with the dress rehearsal version in reruns, in which a lot of the lines are completely different, and the overall segment works MUCH better than the live version of it did. The fact that they re-wrote the piece between dress rehearsal and the live show probably at least partly explains why the live version came off so weak and poorly executed.
— After the Donald Rumfseld interview ends and Amy thanks Seth for his “taped” report, I love Seth then re-entering the Update set, walking up to Amy, and saying, while looking into the camera, “You’re welcome, Amy”, comically breaking the illusion that the Rumsfeld interview Seth had just done was pre-taped.
— Kristen’s big night continues, as she gets her very first Weekend Update showcase (unless I’m forgetting something).
— A decent characterization from Kristen as Aunt Linda, and this commentary isn’t bad. However, this seems like something best left as a one-off. I get the feeling I’m not going to care for this character’s subsequent appearances when I have to review them (and it doesn’t help that she makes A LOT of appearances this season, IIRC).
— Seth has been having some killer jokes tonight. Amy has also had a few.
— I love Andy’s flat “Ohhh, noooo” when realizing he overcharged Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes on their meal. This is the type of humor that Andy can make work.
— Overall, Amy and Seth had their best Update up to this point. Too bad the guest commentaries weren’t up to the same level and brought the rating down a little bit, even if I liked two of the three commentaries.
STARS: ***½


THE TONY BENNETT SHOW
tribute act (Tony Bennett) helps Tony Bennett (host) with duet

— Alec’s wig and make-up as Tony Bennett looks a little more spot-on than usual here, but that may be because of a certain special thing in store for us later in this sketch…
— Andy is perfect as a douchey Kevin Federline.
— And there he is: the real Tony Bennett. Tonight’s episode has been having some fantastic cameos.
— I get the feeling Tony stopping Alec mid-sentence to humorously tell him “You got a great nose job” was an ad-lib.
— I love the reveal of Tony’s stage name as a Tony Bennett impersonator: Phony Bennett.
— Out of SNL’s many “impersonator meets the celebrity they’re impersonating” sketches, which can get annoyingly cheesy and cliche at times, this is definitely one of the better and more charming ones.
— The usual funny spiel from Alec’s Bennett whenever he does his mid-sketch promotional ad.
— Nice duet from Alec and Tony at the end.
STARS: ****½


BRAZILIAN BAR
in a Brazil lounge, gauche roue (host) fails to charm (KRW), (ANS), (AMP)

— A fun one-off character for Alec, one that he seems like he can play to perfection.
— Alec to Amy: “You know what part of a woman I like best? And I’m not kidding about this: the vagina.”
— The occasional musical interstitial bits with Maya and Fred are a funny touch to this sketch.
— What’s the point of Jason even being in this sketch? He’s reduced to the role of a background extra, standing in the back of the set as a barely-noticeable bartender, and has no lines, nothing to do, and the camera doesn’t even show a remotely close shot of him. Odd. This has been a very light night for him in general.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Hurt”


A MOMENT WITH THE OUT-OF-BREATH JOGGER FROM 1992
The Out-Of-Breath Jogger’s moment from 1992 yields bits of nostalgia

— Well, this sure was an unlikely sketch to bring back.
— This isn’t working quite as well as the 1982 jogger one from earlier this season, but I’m still laughing. It also helps that I have somewhat of an obsession with early-mid 90s pop culture (probably due to those years being the peak years of my childhood).
— Something interesting I realized about this sketch: the amount of time between 1992, the year this sketch is taking place in, and 2006, the year this episode originally aired in, is only 14 years, the exact same amount of time between 2006 and our current year, 2020. This kinda blows my mind, as 1992 and all of its pop culture felt much older to me in 2006 than 2006 and all of its pop culture feels to me today. Can anyone else relate to this? Then again, I was only a little kid in 1992, which probably explains it. I’m guessing 2006 and its pop culture now feel really old to people who were little kids that year.
— Also, the fact that 1992 and 2006 have the exact same amount of years between them as 2006 and 2020 means that Andy could conceivably now do an “Out-of-Breath Jogger from 2006” sketch, a fact that further blows my mind. I’d actually be very curious to see him do that sketch.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Tony Bennett [real] perform “Steppin’ Out With My Baby”


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— While a little more flawed than I feel a lot of people remember this episode as being, this episode as a whole definitely had a classic vibe to it. The misfires from early on in the episode bring the overall quality down a bit, but this was still a strong episode. A lot of what worked in this episode was absolutely killer, we got two sketches tonight that received a perfect five-star rating from me (Carpool and The Platinum Lounge), and we got lots of special, fun, and very impressive cameos. The Christina Aguilera/Tony Bennett duet at the end of the show also added to the special, epic feel of this episode. And, of course, it helps that we had a veteran host like Alec Baldwin doing his usual terrific, expert job. An overall great episode, and one of Alec’s best. SNL has been on a real hot streak these past two episodes.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Hugh Laurie)
a very slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Ludacris

Posted on

December 10, 2005 – Alec Baldwin / Shakira (S31 E8)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

SADDAM IN PRISON
self-pitying Saddam Hussein (host) whines to guard (FRA) from behind bars

— Interesting casting of host Alec Baldwin as Saddam Hussein.
— Good gruff-voiced Iraqi accent from Alec.
— Something about the way Alec’s face looks when smooshed between those prison bars is oddly adding to the humor a bit.
— Very funny part with the cruel “Your family will be dead by morning” joke Alec’s Saddam plays on Fred’s character when getting him to reveal his name.
— The ending felt anticlimactic. I was expecting more from this cold opening.
STARS: **½


MONOLOGUE
host relates lessons learned during his past SNL appearances; TIM cameo

— Alec mentions that Steve Martin is the only person to host SNL more than him, then makes a humorous point that himself hosting 12 times from 1990 to then-present day is a more impressive feat than Steve hosting 13 times from 1976 to then-present day.
— I love the use of clips of some of Alec’s earlier sketches as he does a rundown of all the things he learned from his previous hosting stints, even getting self-deprecating laughs by saying he jinxed his relationship with Kim Basinger by hosting with her on Valentine’s Day.
— A Tim Meadows cameo! Ah, it feels so refreshing to see Tim back on my screen during this SNL project of mine, given how I had gotten so used to his comforting presence for so many seasons earlier in this project.
— Very funny line from Tim about how he’s actually still in the cast; he just hasn’t had any sketches on in, like, 6 years. Great to see he’s still as funny as ever here.
— Kinda odd how Amy walked on at literally the very end of this monologue, right as the camera was zooming out and about to fade to black, to give Alec a hug to show she has no hard feelings toward him after he mentioned one of the perks of hosting SNL is getting to squeeze Amy’s boobs during the plastic surgeon sketch we were shown a clip of.
STARS: ****


MORGAN STANLEY
— Jesus Freakin’ Christ. Yet another airing of this commercial, for the FIFTH time in the first half of this seaso–Nah, I’m just kidding. This commercial didn’t air in tonight’s episode. I’m just making fun of the insane number of times they’ve repeated this commercial in such a short amount of time this season so far, which they’ve thankfully stopped doing by this point of the season.


TYLENOL BM
Tylenol BM lets (host) sleep so soundly, bowel movements don’t awaken him

— A blah juvenile premise, though Alec seems like he can make it funny just with his usual reliable dryness.
— A pretty good laugh from Rachel’s yell of “Did you (*bleep*) the bed?!?”
— Overall, Rachel’s aforementioned line and Alec’s solid dry performance made this commercial, which would’ve otherwise been a dud.
STARS: ***


FACE TRANSPLANT
(host) rejects face transplants grafted onto his hospitalized wife

— Second episode in a row with a hospital room sketch.
— Pretty funny reveal of Alec having secretly wished to God that his wife’s body would reject her new unattractive transplanted face.
— Alec “accidentally” pulling out the I.V. tube of hormone medication to force the doctors to re-transplant his wife’s face was hilarious.
— I love Tina’s delivery of the line “You racist! Have you learned nothing from the wolf attack?!?”
— The whole bit with Kenan turning out to be a guy who Alec knew in the marines is hilarious, especially a baffled Tina questioning to Alec “Why did you go into business with him after he raped you?!?”
— Great escalation to this sketch, and this material is so perfect for Alec.
— Hilarious ending with an angry Tina revealing to Alec that the hospitalized woman who’s breasts he’s lovingly groping isn’t actually his wife, she’s just some random woman here for foot surgery, yet Alec asks “Just give me five more minutes.”
— At the very end, during the sketch-ending audience applause, Alec’s groping of Amy’s breasts turns into a callback to the monologue, with Amy “dropping character”, getting mad at Alec, and asking “Again?!?” I guess this is what Amy’s little walk-on at the very end of the monologue was setting up. A rare example by this point of SNL’s run of an episode having somewhat of a running thread.
STARS: ****½


THE O’REILLY FACTOR
John McCain (CHP) & Barney Frank (host)

— (*sigh*) Darrell’s Bill O’Reilly impression still just sounds like Darrell Hammond.
— A funny line from Chris’ John McCain asking, after the asinine so-called facts Darrell’s Bill O’Reilly has spouted off, “Bill, do you even have a research department?”
— There goes Darrell’s typical habit of milking extra laughs from the audience by unnecessarily making exaggerated physical gestures.
— Very funny Barney Frank voice from Alec.
— Now there goes that stumbliness from Darrell that he’s developed this season.
— As usual, some laughs from the Mail Bag segment.
— Speaking of Darrell’s stumbliness, why didn’t he finish reading that letter about Tom Cruise? He left off the last word, for some reason.
STARS: ***


TV FUNHOUSE
“Celebrity Mugshot Poker” by RBS- infamous prison photos play Hold ‘Em

— Surprisingly, this is first TV Funhouse to air since this season’s premiere.
— It’s noticeable that this cartoon is being shown in SD 4:3 format instead of HD 16:9 format like the rest of this episode is.
— A very unusual but creative concept of this cartoon.
— Feels nice to hear Dave Foley’s voice on SNL. Too bad this is the closest he’s come to ever appearing on SNL.
— Hilarious bit with Nick Nolte raising during the poker game with a dead skunk he ran over.
— I like the unintelligible grunting being vocalized for each celebrity.
STARS: ***½


BROKEBACK GOLDMINE
grizzled prospectors (host) & (WLF) fall in love

— SNL’s obligatory spoof of the big then-new movie Brokeback Mountain.
— Sadly, Bill’s very brief and non-comedic appearance here ends up being his only appearance all night.
— Not caring for this sketch so far.
— There’s the required parody of the famous “I wish I knew how to quit you” line from the real movie. Can’t say this parody of that line did anything for me.
— I admit to getting a cheap laugh from the “Just prospecting” ending.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Don’t Bother”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Wolf Blitzer (CHP), Jane Pauley (KRW), others audition for ABC News gig

Sharif Omar Mohammed’s (KET) racially-charged ventriloquism offends AMP

a clip of Richard Pryor’s SNL word association sketch marks his passing

— A fun and out-of-the-ordinary segment for Update (and a much-needed break from Tina and Amy’s typical unfunniness at the Update desk), with us seeing an audition tape for ABC News.
— Much like Bill earlier tonight, Kristen’s very brief appearance here, in which she only says one non-comedic line, ends up being her only appearance all night. Certainly feels odd now to see there was once an instance where Kristen was this underused on SNL.
— Pretty funny bit with Darrell’s Dan Rather disguising himself with a fake mustache and the name Stan Mather. I also like the off-camera director cutting him off with a deadpan “Mr. Rather, let’s not do this.”
— Finesse plays Stuart Scott on Update for the second episode in a row.
— Meh, the otherwise fun ABC News audition tape segment ended with a thud, thanks to the unnecessary and overlong bit with Horatio’s Gene Shalit.
— Hated the brief Rent bit between Tina and Amy. That’s exactly the type of typical Tina/Amy unfunniness at the Update desk that I was talking about earlier.
— Hmm, a Brokeback Mountain gay joke sent in from Tina’s 72-year-old father. At least I now see who Tina gets her obsession with hacky gay humor from.
— The fact that the camera keeps cutting to a close-up of Kenan’s ventriloquist dummy whenever it “speaks” is making it very obvious they’re hiding the fact that Kenan’s not attempting to make it look like he’s doing that thing professional ventriloquists do where they throw their voice without moving their lips.
— What the holy fuck is Kenan’s commentary even going for?!? Not only is this not making me laugh, but I’m finding it baffling.
— Amy looked REALLY down after she made a very minor line flub during her set-up of the Dunkin’ Dog Nuts joke (which didn’t even hurt the audience’s reaction to the punchline), showing she has no confidence in herself as an Update anchor.
— We at least end this mostly-dire Update with a tribute to the then-recently-deceased Richard Pryor, by showing a clip of the legendary Word Association sketch.
STARS: *½


THE TONY BENNETT SHOW
Dick Cheney (DAH) discusses terrorism

— As always, Alec’s Tony Bennett impression is reliable for lots of funny lines.
— A particularly good laugh from the segment with Alec’s Bennett plugging the show’s sponsor, K-Y Warming Liquid.
— Overall, this was funny, but it’s probably the most forgettable installment of this sketch by default.
STARS: ***


CAROL!
on a blind date at a bowling alley, crass Carol somehow charms (host)

— I’m still waiting to be won over by these Carol sketches. Like when I reviewed the first Carol sketch earlier this season, I’m not hating this as much as I did when these sketches originally aired, and I am seeing some small flashes of “So bad, it’s good”-ness, but most of this sketch is eliciting no emotions from me. I’m so blankly neutral on this sketch. But, again, at least that’s still a step up from the frothing-at-the-mouth fiery hatred I used to have for these sketches when they originally aired.
STARS: **


HOT DOG FAMILY
hot dog’s husband (host) counsels his half-human kids (AMP) & (ANS)

— A good dumb, oddball premise to this Alec Baldwin sketch, and it’s the kind of thing that Alec can sell in spades.
— I like the little part with a distressed Amy, as the daughter, calling out “Mom!”, and the camera then cutting to a close-up of little hot dog resting on a pillow, unresponsive as always.
— Now THIS is a “So bad, it’s good” sketch that’s actually working for me (though “So dumb, it’s funny” is probably a more accurate description of this particular sketch than “So bad, it’s good”).
— Andy makes his only appearance of the night here (I’m noticing a theme tonight with the newbies, except for Jason). I remember an online SNL fan pointing out Andy looked pretty awkward and uncomfortable in this sketch, as this was back when a lot of online SNL fans were convinced Andy was not working out as an SNL cast member and that he had “one-season wonder” written all over him. We’re only one episode away, folks, from the legendary moment that would drastically change that.
— After asking his hot dog wife for some privacy so he and Andy can have a talk, I love Alec carelessly throwing his hot dog wife behind him.
STARS: ****


MEDICARE
Medicare’s high-tech info delivery methods will confuse elderly audiences

— Very fun cheesy singing from Jason.
— Uh, what exactly is the joke here? Besides Jason’s delightfully corny singing of the same lyrics over and over (which would be pure death if it were performed by a cast member less charismatic and fun than Jason), there’s no comedic conceit I can find at all here. If the joke is simply that the process of applying for healthcare online is confusing and complicated for elderly people, that’s not all that great of a premise, nor am I caring for the execution of it.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Alejandro Sanz [real] perform “La Tortura”


ELF MOTIVATION
(host) gives Glengarry Glen Ross motivational speech to Santa’s elves

— A fantastic idea to have Alec do an elf-themed spoof of his famous scene from Glengarry Glen Ross.
— Alec chewing out the elves Glengarry Glen Ross style is freakin’ great.
— A classic blooper where Alec initially misreads the written “Always Be Cobbling” motto on the chalkboard as “Always Be Closing”, which is what the motto was in the actual movie. Not only is that mix-up of Alec’s very funny, but there’s something strangely endearing about it, as it shows that Alec’s original Glengarry Glen Ross speech is SO ingrained in his memory.
— My only complaint about this otherwise fantastic sketch: it ended EXTREMELY awkwardly. What was with the uncomfortably long stretch of dead silence between the elves cheering the announcement of their Christmas bonuses and the audience applauding?
STARS: ****½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Another good Alec Baldwin episode. Despite a few flops throughout the night, there were enough good sketches, and the episode as a whole had a pretty nice feel to it, no doubt due to Alec’s always-reliable presence as a host. Two sketches tonight were particularly strong and will likely make it to my end-of-season “Best Of” picks (Face Transplant and Elf Motivation).


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Dane Cook)
a very slight step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Jack Black hosts the Christmas episode

Posted on

November 15, 2003 – Alec Baldwin / Missy Elliott (S29 E6)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE NEW IRAQI GOVERNMENT
George W. Bush (DAH) details Iraq’s new undemocratic constitution

— Oh, what the hell are you doing, SNL?!? ANOTHER presidential address-to-the-nation cold opening with Darrell’s horrible Bush impression, after you just did one TWO EPISODES AGO???
— Now Darrell has “enhanced” his impression by adding in a “leaning to the side” pose, lots of arm mannerisms, and lots of vocal inflections. It’s doing NOTHING to stop this from being an embarrassingly bad impression. In fact, seeing Darrell desperately do all of these ridiculous poses, mannerisms, and vocal inflections to try to put his impression over, and failing miserably, just makes it even sadder.
— Just like last time he played Bush, Darrell has that stupid smirk on his face, though it’s not quite as prominent as it was last time. I still don’t know what he’s going for with the smirk.
— Also just like last time, this cold opening is DEATH. Absolutely no laughs from me, not just because of Darrell’s horrible impression, but also because of horrible writing that not even Will Ferrell would’ve been able to save.
— The only positive thing I can say is that this thankfully ends up being the final appearance of Darrell’s Bush impression. After only two appearances from his impression, SNL would re-cast the role ONCE AGAIN later this season. Darrell’s Bush would end up going down in SNL history as possibly the worst presidential impression ever seen on the show. Even Darrell himself would later admit what a misfire his Bush was, calling it “the Waterloo of my career”.
STARS: *


MONOLOGUE
when co-star host fails to self-promote, MIM plugs The Cat In The Hat

— WTF? Jimmy and Horatio in the SNL Band? Oh, lord, what horror am I in for THIS time?
— Dammit, now we get Jimmy and Horatio taking over this entire monologue while acting like obnoxious jackasses, which they’re given free rein to do too damn often. The fact that it’s an Alec Baldwin monologue this is happening in feels especially wrong.
— Well, at least we get a surprise Mike Myers cameo.
— Ugh, the running gag with Mike constantly dropping character to plug The Cat In The Hat has not aged well, though I remember this bit kinda rubbed me the wrong way even when tonight’s episode originally aired. Almost nothing in this monologue is working for me.
STARS: *½


HUGGIES THONG
— Rerun from 10/4/03.
— During the beginning of this re-airing, you can hear audio of what sounds like excited audience members yelling “MIKE!” in the studio, apparently trying to get Mike Myers’ attention right after the monologue ended.


PLASTIC SURGEON
unprofessional plastic surgeon (host) recommends D cups for patient (AMP)

— I recall hearing this sketch was cut from the preceding season’s Ray Romano episode.
— I like this non-sequitur exchange between Alec and Amy, during their discussion of breast augmentations: “Do you know Catherine Bell from JAG?” “No.” “Damn. I was really hoping to meet her.”
— Amy sternly warning Alec “I am only gonna stay here for a few more jokes!” is very funny.
— Alec is solid in this inappropriate role, though I can’t help but wonder what this sketch was like with Ray Romano. I can picture him being great in Alec’s role too.
STARS: ***½


ZINGER VS. BURNS
scientists (host) & Dave ‘Zinger’ Klinger (SEM) trade childish gibes

— The debut of this character of Seth’s.
— Surprisingly, this ends up being Maya’s only appearance all night, and it’s just a straight role in which she only has about two lines.
— Seth’s zinger routine did nothing for me for the first minute of this sketch, but Alec suddenly coming in and doing the same basic routine as Seth had me laughing out loud. I guess it’s all in the performance. Alec is just better at this type of material than Seth is, in my opinion.
— Some laughs from how extensive Alec and Seth are getting in their burn/zing routines.
— I like Chris having such disdain for Alec and Seth’s burn/zing routines, but treating it so seriously that he demands Alec and Seth do a best-of-three burn/zing-off to declare a winner.
— Okay, this whole burn/zing gimmick is starting to run out of steam for me, though the performances from Alec and even Seth are fun.
STARS: **½


THE TONY BENNETT SHOW
acquitted millionaire Robert Durst (FRA)

— This sketch has officially become recurring.
— Like last time, we’re getting so many hilarious one-liners from Alec’s Tony Bennett.
— I don’t know why, but the characterization Fred is doing for his Robert Durst impression feels kinda Christopher Guest-esque to me. Not sure what it is about Fred’s performance that makes me feel that way.
— Hilarious promo that Alec’s Bennett does for for Stayfree Maxi-Pads.
— Funny bit with Bennett getting Richie Sambora to “apologize” to him.
— Is EVERY character of Horatio’s now going to be a character written to be very giggly? Is this SNL’s way of trying to hide Horatio’s natural giggliness? Horatio’s at least playing his role in this particular sketch like a normal person, and not treating it as one of his typical over-the-top roles.
STARS: ****


GAYSTROGEN
Another rerun tonight, this time from 10/18/03


THE FALCONER
Donald has a wild night in Las Vegas while The Falconer hangs upside down

— Good to see this sketch make its first appearance of the season. Believe it or not, this ends up being the ONLY Falconer sketch of this entire season. Quite odd, after how frequently this sketch appeared the preceding season.
— The Falconer, while hanging upside-down: “For four days, I have dangled here like a urine-soaked pinata.”
— I love the visual of Donald the Falcon seeing a “Knives, axes… Anything store (We specialize in rope cutting)” and a casino located on opposite sides of each other, then deciding to go to the casino instead of the Knives store which would’ve been convenient in getting The Falconer out of his trap.
— A hilarious cocaine sequence with Donald the Falcon. I especially like his crazed, rapid, increasingly higher-pitched squawking after snorting the cocaine.
— Nice touch with how the traditional ending title card of The Falconer has his usual photo flipped upside-down tonight, to match how he has been hanging upside-down for the entire sketch.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Pass That Dutch”


WEEKEND UPDATE
riding Paris Hilton’s coattails, WLF shows his own night vision sex tape

TIF mistakes phone interviewee Christian Slater (JIF) for Jack Nicholson

— Wow, Tina’s Al Gore joke gets booed from somebody in the audience.
— Great to see Will doing an Update commentary as himself.
— Hearing Will speak in his normal voice here, I notice he sounds a tad “country”. Isn’t he from California, though?
— Will’s Paris Hilton-esque sex tape is a riot. Not sure that ending with Fred was necessary, though.
— A good Christian Slater vocal impression from Jimmy. Also, I’m finding the ridiculous back-and-forth Slater/Jack Nicholson fake-out to be pretty funny.
— A somewhat short Update. At least they finally managed to get through an Update without a derailing appearance from Horatio, for the first time since the second episode of this season.
STARS: ***


PRESS CONFERENCE
(host) answers euphemistic questions linking Prince Charles with gay sex

— Fun British accents from Alec and the cast.
— Despite being a cavalcade of cheap puns about gay sex, these are actually coming off fun, funny, and well-delivered.
— Seth’s double entendre about Prince Charles wanting his “crack” to be filled with “caulk” feels like a precursor to a sketch that Jason Lee would later do in season 31 that’s in the vein of dirty wordplay sketches like Colonel Angus and Cork Soakers.
STARS: ***½


KEEN CORPORATION
co-workers (host) & (AMP) flub a presentation after a one-night stand

— Not caring for this cliched premise.
— Okay, Alec’s line about how even his mother looks like Jewel after he’s had 10 drinks was pretty funny.
— I like Alec’s delivery of “So frickin’ what?!?” after revealing to his co-workers all the wrong things he and Amy did last night.
— For some reason, Amy loses it and busts out laughing very loudly during her and Alec’s passionate make-out session on the table.
— A somewhat weak ending with Seth and Rachel.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Work It”


ROY RETURNS
Roy Horn’s (host) return to the stage is beset by more animal attacks

— Hoo, boy. I remember this being kind of a notorious sketch, with some SNL fans considering it really tasteless that SNL would make light of Roy Horn’s tragic attack in such a manner.
— A funny visual of Amy as a beehive-haired lady among people in the crowd getting splattered with blood from off-camera.
— Good lord at the turtle/eye scene.
— Wh… what? THAT’S the entire sketch?!? This sketch felt almost completely pointless, and the turtle/eye scene sure was one weak punchline. Something felt almost season 20-esque about this sketch.
STARS: *½


SCHEINWALD STUDIOS
pandering studio mogul Abe Scheinwald (RAD) scares off director (FRA)

— Here’s another sketch tonight that was cut from an episode from a previous season, this one being cut from the Jon Stewart episode all the way back in season 27. I think I recall hearing Jon Stewart played the role that Fred’s playing in tonight’s version, while the role that Alec’s playing wasn’t in the Jon Stewart version of the sketch.
— Seth has been all over tonight’s episode.
— Funny walk-on from Rachel’s Abe Scheinwald character, making his debut.
— Alec seems to be playing a Robert Evans pastiche.
— Some pretty funny lines from Rachel and Alec all throughout this sketch.
— After something Rachel did just now, all of the performers except Alec are fighting to keep a straight face.
— As this sketch ends and the screen holds on a shot of all of the performers, you can hear audio of the Tel-e-link commercial from this season’s Halle Berry episode start to play, but it soon gets cut off as an SNL bumper photo of Alec appears onscreen. I guess people in the SNL control room realized at literally the last second that there’s not enough time to re-air the Tel-e-link commercial, so they had to quickly abort it on the air after cueing it up. A sloppy moment that you don’t often see happening on SNL. Also, if that Tel-e-link commercial had aired tonight, it would’ve been the THIRD repeated fake ad in tonight’s episode, which might’ve been an all-time record.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— One of the more average Alec Baldwin episodes. Not bad, but definitely doesn’t stand out among Alec’s roster of episodes. There were still a few solid highlights, though, and Alec added his usual professional-but-fun atmosphere to the show.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Andy Roddick)
about the same


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Rev. Al Sharpton

Posted on

April 20, 2002 – Alec Baldwin / P.O.D. (S27 E18)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

BLAKE MURDER MYSTERY
Fox News Channel anchors are thrilled at prospect of Robert Blake trial

— A funny clip of O.J.-like footage of a white car driving on a freeway, which we’re told is footage of Robert Blake being taken to a police processing center. I also like Will’s delivery of “White car on the L.A. freeway, ya’ll!” (a line that I had always misrembered as being delivered by Parnell).
— I like Parnell’s laid-back performance as a celebrity scandal expert.
— Some pretty good laughs from the Fox News anchors’ excitement over this Robert Blake mess potentially being an O.J.-like scandal.
— Blah, I’m sick of Darrell’s overlong Geraldo Rivera bits this season. I’m apparently in the minority in that regard, as the audience always eats these Geraldo bits up.
— At least SNL’s showing some continuity, with Darrell’s Geraldo making a passing mention of his “Tour of Terror”, a reference to something established in the last Weekend Update commentary that Darrell’s Geraldo did.
— I love the Robert Blake-related soundbyte of gunshot sounds followed by audio of a man saying in a jokingly menacing voice “You little rascal!”
— I hope nobody lets Brian Fellow anywhere near THAT talking bird. I’m sure the only readers who will get that comment of mine are ones who are familiar with the Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet sketch from the last episode that I reviewed.
— An interesting unconventional “Live from New York…”, with it being delivered by a bird (voiced by Steve Higgins). And at least it’s a break from all the endless Ferrell/Hammond LFNYs we’ve been getting lately.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
Al Gore (DAH) gives host tips on how to get over presidential election

— I probably said this before, but I like how it’s a tradition at the beginning of Alec’s monologues for him to give the SNL Band their due by physically pointing them out.
— Darrell showing up as Al Gore to give Alec advice? I guess this is their way of following up Alec’s last monologue, in which Darrell gave him advice as Bill Clinton.
— Darrell’s Gore calling Alec out on his empty threat to move out of the country if George W. Bush got elected president is fairly funny.
— Could’ve done without this turning into a duet of “Accentuate the Positive”. What’s the point of that?
— An overall somewhat forgettable monologue that fizzled out at the end. Not one of Alec’s better monologues.
STARS: **½


KOTEX CLASSIC
Rerun from 3/16/02


GAY VOICEMAIL
(host) is perplexed that he sounds gay on his voicemail greeting

— I admit to getting a laugh from the first lispy-sounding voicemail, though I’m aware of the direction this sketch is going.
— A good laugh from Ana IMMEDIATELY confirming to Alec “No, that’s how you sound” before casually walking off, after hearing the gay-sounding playback of his voicemail.
— Alec now doing a cartoonishly deep, macho voice into the voicemail in an attempt make it avoid sound gay in the playback is pretty funny.
— Okay, after a while, I’m getting fairly tired of the joke of the increasingly gay-sounding voicemails, though the inclusion of Kylie Minogue music in the background of one gay-sounding voicemail was an amusing choice.
— Overall, I’ve seen some people say this is one of the better of SNL writer James Anderson’s endless myriad of gay stereotype sketches. I only half-agree, as I enjoyed this sketch at first, but then it kinda lost its luster for me halfway through. Still not terrible, though, especially compared to a lot of James Anderson’s gay-related material.
STARS: **½


WHITE MEN BLACK WOMEN
successful white men are dumping their wives for elderly black women

— Yet another drag role for Tracy, but he’s certainly very funny in this as Alec’s new elderly black girlfriend.
— A very inspired and funny premise, how this is treating the unusual concept of successful white men leaving their wives for elderly black women as a very commonplace cliche.
— The back-and-forth between Jimmy and Amy is solid.
— Dean is hilarious as Darrell’s Caribbean-accented elderly black girlfriend. I especially like his delivery of the line “I smack the white right off her!” Stuff like this makes me wonder why the hell SNL often treats Dean like a glorified extra and doesn’t use him more often.
— A particularly funny line from Tracy’s character about having to watch her sugar or she’ll lose her foot.
— I love Rachel’s angry rant.
STARS: ****½


OZZY
domesticated Ozzy Osbourne (HOS) is only intelligible while singing

— After we got a sample of Horatio’s imitation of Ozzy Osborne’s singing in the Just Enjoy The Ozzy sketch from season 24, we get the debut of Horatio actually playing Ozzy himself… in a regular SNL episode, that is. The actual debut of Horatio playing Ozzy himself was in a Celebrity Jeopardy sketch from one of the two “Primetime Extra” specials that SNL did in 2001.
— We also get the debut of Amy’s Sharon Osborne impression, which I’ve always found spot-on.
— Horatio’s mumbling as Ozzy is pretty funny, and, much like the aforementioned Just Enjoy The Ozzy sketch, Horatio continues to do a solid impression of Ozzy’s coherent singing voice.
— Very funny part with Alec requesting to an incoherently-speaking Ozzy, “Would you mind singing your lunch order?”, which Ozzy then proceeds to do perfectly. I especially love the “Diet Coke, HA HA HA HA! With ice, ice, ice!” bit.
— Damn, that was a good, long tender song from Horatio just now. He’s really been impressing me throughout this sketch.
— Amy’s silly facial expression while her Sharon Osborne is doing a doggy voice made her look remarkably like Rachel, oddly enough. (screencap below)

I remember always thinking back in these days that Amy and Rachel look like they could be real-life sisters, though I no longer see the resemblance all that often now that I’m older.
— During the long, bleeped-out argument between Sharon, Kelly, and Jack Osborne (the latter two played by Rachel and Parnell, respectively), audio of Amy, Rachel, and Parnell’s actual yelling can be heard under the bleeping. Most of that yelling is unintelligible to my ears, but at the very end of that yelling, I clearly heard Amy saying “MOTHERFUCKER!” twice. I’m guessing there was an audio glitch and we weren’t supposed to hear what Amy, Rachel, and Parnell were really yelling under the bleeping, and Amy apparently wasn’t aware that her yells of “MOTHERFUCKER!” were going out on the air. Does this technically put Amy in the prestigious “SNL cast member dropping an f-bomb on live TV” club?
— After Sharon, Kelly, and Jack walk off after the aforementioned bleeped-out shoutfest between them, I love the camera panning over to Horatio’s Ozzy silently staring at the camera with a deadpan look on his face.
STARS: ****


THE CARDINALS
Pope John Paul II (host) summons The Cardinals for a chastening

— A pretty fun badass intro sequence with various crime-fighting cardinals. I especially love the shot of Parnell casually speaking on the phone while loading his rifle.
— A great ending one-liner from Alec’s Pope, towards The Cardinals: “I got-a one thing to say to you guys: keep-a you peckers in your pants!” A good reference to the Catholic church sex abuse scandal in the news at the time.
— The way this sketch unexpectedly ends with Alec’s aforementioned one-liner, after being preceded by such a long and elaborate opening title sequence, kinda reminds me of the then-current Astronaut Jones recurring sketches. It also reminds me of other sketches SNL has done over the years that comically end with a very quick scene after a lengthy opening title sequence, including a “U.N. Weapons Inspectors” sketch that Jimmy does with Robert DeNiro the following season.
STARS: ***½


WEEKEND UPDATE
emotional Ally McBeal (RAD) sounds off about her show’s cancellation

Spider-Man star Tobey Maguire (SEM) is a nigh-comatose action movie hero

having taken her daughter (AMP) to work, TIF deals with insolent behavior

— Good to see Rachel’s Ally McBeal suddenly pop up, after the announcement of the cancellation of her TV show.
— A good heated rant from Rachel’s McBeal. (Which makes this Rachel’s second long, angry rant in tonight’s episode, by the way. She’s on fire tonight.)
— Seth is doing a pretty funny caricature of Tobey Maguire’s bland, lethargic demeanor, though future SNL cast member Taran Killam did a far more spot-on Tobey Maguire impression on MADtv during this same season.
— Interesting bit with Tina doing a segment with her (fictional) teenage daughter, Savannah Dakota Fey, played by Amy. Funnily enough, I think this fictional daughter of Tina’s is around the same age that Tina’s real-life first child, Alice, is today.
— I got a pretty good laugh from Tina suddenly and randomly asking her daughter “Do you take ecstasy?!?” right in the middle of their exchange just now.
— Something about this overall Update felt unusually short to me, even though it had three guest commentaries.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Youth Of The Nation”


BIRTHDAY LOVERS
Roger’s college roommate (host) attends surprise party thrown by Virginia

— Interesting beginning to this Luvahs sketch, with Virginia planning a surprise party for an about-to-arrive-home Roger. I believe this is the first (and perhaps ONLY?) time we’ve ever seen Roger and Virginia appear separated from each other.
— Akira Yoshimura! (the third above screencap for this sketch) Sightings of him have become so rare by this point of SNL’s run.
— Good character from Alec.
— Interesting how the non-Luvahs couples in this sketch are played by cast members who are often paired together as couples and always have fantastic chemistry with each other: Parnell & Ana, and Seth & Amy.
— During The Luvahs’ story about once making love on a cliff, Alec’s own anecdote about how he fell off the cliff while “playing with his balls” (as he puts it) as he watched The Luvahs’ lovemaking is absolutely hilarious. I particularly love him touting the “free-fall release” that he experienced during his mid-masturbation cliff fall as the greatest achievement of his life. This whole bit alone makes this one of the better Luvahs sketches.
— For some reason, Will starts breaking while he’s chewing on food.
— Aaaaaand there’s our unnecessary “Ow, my back” ending that these Luvahs sketches traditionally end with.
STARS: ***½


FRANCE
for anti-Semitism & snootiness, it’s time we got back to hating France

— A pretty funny France tourism ad pointing out all the unpleasant things about the country.
— The voice-over’s closing line: “With all that’s going on in the world, isn’t it about time we got back to hating the French?” Funnily enough, that actually would end up happening just a year later. Remember America’s soured relationship with France in 2003 (something to do with France opposing the War in Iraq), to the degree that congress would legally change the name of French fries to freedom fries?
STARS: ***½


THE TONY BENNETT SHOW
Liza Minnelli (MAR) & David Gest (CHK)

— This recurring sketch makes its debut.
— Alec is doing a great Tony Bennett here.
— Kattan makes his first and ONLY appearance of the entire episode. With this being the second time in these last three episodes I’ve covered that Kattan made only one appearance all night, in a sketch buried towards the end of the show to boot, you’d think Kattan would take this as a hint that his time on SNL is clearly beyond up and he would leave SNL at the end of this season, but nope. No matter how many clues he’s been given, the man STILL ends up returning next season. (*groan*)
— All that being said about Kattan, his facial expression as David Gest in this sketch is certainly amusing me.
— When addressing the gay rumors about David Gest (and I’ll just ignore the frustrating fact that this is YET ANOTHER sketch this season in which Kattan is either playing a gay guy or a guy accused of being gay), I admit to getting a lot of big laughs from Tony Bennett’s various euphemisms for Gest’s desire to have a partner with a penis. I particularly like Bennett asking Gest “Why would you build your house in a cherry orchard when you dig bananas?”
— A hilarious story from Tony Bennett about once making love to a woman’s foot for 7 hours before a nurse came in and said “Mr. Bennett… she’s gone.”
STARS: ****


TV FUNHOUSE
“The Anatominals Show” by RBS- LOM is embarrassed during senatorial visit

— The second and final Anatominals TV Funhouse.
— Not caring too much for the Anatominals portion of this, as a lot of it feels like its treading the same territory from the first Anatominals installment.
— Even the Lorne portion of this isn’t anywhere near as funny as the one from the first Anatominals installment.
— Okay, I do like Lorne and Senator Moynihan both saying “Bear got boobies!” when seeing the Anatominals on the TV monitor.
— Overall, a laugh here and there, but yeah, they clearly should’ve kept Anatominals a one-off.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Alive”


MY BIG THICK NOVEL BY JACK HANDEY
a clown with a knife in chapter 1345


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Yet another reliable Alec Baldwin episode. While this doesn’t seem to be one of the more remembered Baldwin episodes among SNL fans (though that may be due to the lack of airtime this episode has received. Hasn’t it been said that this episode has NEVER been re-aired on TV, for some very odd, unknown reason? I know NBC has never re-aired it, but what about cable channels like E! or VH1?), this had a solid quality to it, and a few great standout sketches.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (The Rock)
a mild step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Kirsten Dunst

Posted on

April 7, 2001 – Alec Baldwin / Coldplay (S26 E16)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
George W. Bush’s (WIF) solo negotiation effort produced bad Chinese deal

— SNL’s been going awfully heavy on Bush-addresses-the-nation cold openings lately.
— Of the bold decisions that Will’s President Bush says he made regarding his meeting with the Chinese president, I love one of the bold decisions being “No translators”.
— A lot of things that Bush is listing off in the agreement points he made with China are giving me some really good laughs. The humor in this cold opening has been a step above the last two Bush-addresses-the-nation cold openings.
— A particularly funny bit about an Ed “Too Tall” Jones Appreciation Week.
— An unintentional laugh from Will struggling badly through the line about Darryl Strawberry voluntarily entering a drug treatment “procility”. Considering Will is playing Bush here, it’s hard to tell just what parts of the line Will genuinely screwed up, but “procility” might not have been one of them, as it was probably just supposed to be a typical Bush-ism.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
Bill Clinton (DAH) mentors recently-divorced host to pursue females

— Feels like there’s been quite a longer-than-usual gap since the last time I covered an Alec Baldwin-hosted episode, compared to the frequency of his previous hosting stints, making me realize that this is the very first time that Alec has skipped more than one calendar year between hosting stints.
— Pretty funny ambiguous mention from Alec of the divorce he had recently gone through at the time with Kim Basinger.
— An interesting out-of-the-ordinary use of Darrell’s Bill Clinton in this monologue.
— Bill Clinton, when pointing out to Alec the opportunities he has with ladies now that he’s single: “You’ve got it made in the shade with pink lemonade… and I do mean pink.”
— I love how Clinton just busts out laughing when being asked “But aren’t you still married?”
— So many funny lines from Clinton in this.
STARS: ****


RELIABLE INVESTMENTS
Reliable Investments broker (host) talks up market while he plummets

 

— The camera angles and visual style of this commercial are an accurate spoof of commercials in this vein.
— Hilarious turn with Alec casually and happily continuing the phone conversation with Ana as he jumps out of his office window to his death. Alec is selling this very well with his performance.
STARS: ****


THE DELICIOUS DISH
Lynn (RAD) & Margaret Jo are in awe of Pete Schwetty’s wiener

— Well, looks like SNL has dared to do a Delicious Dish sketch in which they replace the Terri Rialto character played by the recently-departed Molly Shannon with a new character, played by Rachel. Can’t say this is a decision I agree with at all. Should’ve let this recurring sketch end gracefully with Molly’s departure.
— And now we see why SNL has revived this sketch, as Alec returns as the memorable Pete Schwetty. Yeah, I definitely don’t agree with this decision. Having Alec do a direct Schwetty Balls sequel that just lazily repeats the same gag, only replacing balls with wiener, is a D.O.A. choice, in my eyes.
— Yeah, so far, this sketch is paling badly in comparison to the original Schwetty Balls classic.
— I kinda like the audience’s groaning laughter during the turn in the Schwetty Wieners conversation where Alec’s character begins to bring up kids.
— Okay, I got a good laugh from the “Maybe we can cut it in half” “I’d rather you didn’t” exchange between Margaret Jo and Pete Schwetty, regarding the wiener.
— A memorable and very funny blooper with Ana mistakenly saying “wiener” as “piener”, resulting in both her and Rachel busting out laughing. Very rare to see Ana break this badly. Also, even as Ana and Rachel are losing it right next to him, Alec stays completely in character and keeps an absolutely perfect stone-faced expression. He does it in a way that almost makes it seem like he’s annoyed by Ana and Rachel’s breaking, but I’m not Alec, so I can’t say for sure.
— Nice ad-lib from Ana after she regains her composure from her breaking: “A little verbal diarrhea there.”
— Ah, as I wondered in my review of the original Schwetty Balls sketch, this Schwetty Wieners sketch contains a “Wow, the phones are really going crazy” acknowledgment that I had incorrectly remembered being in the original Schwetty Balls sketch.
— I do like the new direction this sketch has taken, with Parnell as a caller who’s obviously doing a certain something to himself while breathlessly asking Pete Schwetty to “tell me about your wiener”. (By the way, Parnell’s character should talk to Jonah “Ask me about my wiener!” Hill. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)
— Overall, yep, a sequel that I found unnecessary and couldn’t come close to living up to the original, but this still had its share of highlights.
STARS: **½


TOUGH GUY
lone Marine (host) tries to rally spyplane crew to attack China

— Great turn with a war cliche character played by Alec suddenly stepping up. I love some of the soldiers’ reaction to his “… or we could take ’em!” suggestion early on.
— Just now, a cue card accidentally blocks the camera during a close-up of Rachel and Will (screencap below).

SNL would later replace this brief portion of the sketch with the dress rehearsal version in reruns. If you watch the rerun version of this sketch, you can tell when the brief dress rehearsal portion comes in, because Will has his real hair in it, whereas he wears a wig in all of the other portions of the sketch (side-by-side comparison below).

— Alec’s various insane suggestions are providing tons of laughs.
— A priceless line from from Alec about China’s womenfolk having sideways vaginas. I also love the intense closed-eyes facial expression he has afterwards during the lengthy audience laughter from that line (screencap below).

— Tracy steals the sketch with his one and only line of the whole thing. This has been quite a good season in general for Tracy lately. He’s definitely gotten to the official point where his onscreen persona is so defined, so comfortable, and such a sure-fire laugh-getter that SNL knows they can throw him into ANYTHING just being his normal self and he’ll kill it.
— The text crawl ending didn’t work for me (though we get a great freeze-frame shot on Alec panickedly lunging at the camera), which is my only complaint about this otherwise strong sketch.
STARS: ****½


INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO
Charles Nelson Reilly (host) is feted

— Will-as-James-Lipton’s traditional opening blank stare towards the audience isn’t quite as funny as usual (the first above screencap for this sketch).
— Great reveal of Charles Nelson Reilly being the guest who James Lipton is speaking so glowingly about at the beginning of this sketch.
— Alec’s impression of Charles Nelson Reilly is absolutely hilarious.
— James Lipton’s made-up word to describe Match Game’s perfection: “Scrumtrulescent”. To me personally, that made-up word is on the same level as another made-up word delivered by Will this same season: “Strategery”, even if “Scrumtrulescent” doesn’t seem to be anywhere near as famous to the general public as “Strategery”.
— James Lipton to Charles Nelson Reilly: “I am not alone in thinking that your brilliance is so pure that you make Gandhi look like a child pornographer.”
— I recall hearing that Alec’s next hosting stint the following season was going to have a follow-up to this Inside The Actor’s Studio sketch, with Alec reprising his Charles Nelson Reilly impression in the same setting, but the sketch ended up getting cut after dress rehearsal. Not sure what they could’ve done in a follow-up to the original Reilly Inside The Actor’s Studio sketch, but if it was just a lazy carbon-copy of the original sketch, then it’s for the best that it got cut, if the Schwetty Wieners sketch taught me anything. Then again, there’s a good chance that the cut Reilly Inside The Actor’s Studio sequel went in a new and different direction. After all, that same season (season 27) has an Inside The Actor’s Studio sketch with Billy Bob Thornton that ends up taking a VERY different and unique route than these Actor’s Studio sketches usually take.
STARS: ****½


WEEKEND UPDATE
TRM explains the circumstances behind Darryl Strawberry’s non-kidnapping

I Have An Opinion- JIF tries to analogize the China-spyplane situation

TIF deconstructs & evaluates Hugh Hefner’s young, blonde harem

DAS & Kid Rock [real] trade respective Hollywood Minute & music roles

— Jimmy’s crack punchline about Darryl Strawberry felt very Norm Macdonald-esque.
— Great to see Tracy in his own Update commentary. This feels like the first in quite a long time that he’s done an Update commentary as himself.
— Tracy acting out a hypothetical conversation between Darryl Strawberry and his wife has some laughs, but this segment is mostly falling pretty flat, surprisingly. Not one of Tracy’s better moments.
— Jimmy’s recurring “I Have An Opinion” side segment continues to not do much for me.
— Tina, on one of Hugh Hefner’s seven girlfriends being named Tina: “Wherever two or more whores are gathered, there’s always a Tina. Thanks, mom.”
— I absolutely LOVE this whole side segment with Tina doing a deconstruction of Hugh Hefner’s seven girlfriends. This segment is pure, classic Tina Fey.
— SNL gets in their very first reference to the hot new show at the time, The Weakest Link, which really takes me back to how huge that show was in pop culture for a while (and, boy, did that show’s popularity seem to come and go at the blink of an eye, IIRC).
— Oh, wow. We’re getting the return of David Spade and the Hollywood Minute?
— Oh, it’s just David’s Joe Dirt co-star Kid Rock, filling in for David.
— When Kid Rock hesitates to finish his dirty line about David Spade being “eight inches off my, uh…”, I love Jimmy’s ad-lib where he finishes Kid Rock’s sentence with “….piener?”, cleverly referencing Ana’s memorable gaffe from tonight’s earlier Delicious Dish sketch.
— Boy, Kid Rock’s Hollywood Minute jokes are just plain stupid (though I admit the Britney Spears/Hamburglar one kinda made me laugh in spite of myself). They feel like stuff written by a 10-year-old kid who thinks they’re funnier than they are.
— Ah, THERE’S our David Spade! Don’t understand why he couldn’t have just done a Hollywood Minute himself.
— A fairly fun and energetic ending to tonight’s Update with David and Kid Rock’s little number, even if I’m far from a fan of Kid Rock’s music.
— This was the first long Update in quite some time, compared to the very short Updates from the past few months.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Yellow”


RED SHIPS OF SPAIN
Robert Goulet (WIF) & relatives (CHP), (host), (ANG) create bad theater

— An interesting new setting for Will’s always-funny Robert Goulet impression.
— Announcer: “Robert Goulet: the man Time Magazine… once mentioned.”
— Nice inclusion of Parnell and Alec as two Goulet brothers.
— The negative newspaper reviews of the play are providing good laughs.
— The name Diane Carbonal is used for one of the newspaper critics, which is also the name of an Ana Gasteyer recurring character. I remember pointing out in an older review that the name Diane (or Diana) Carbonal was also used in a sketch that pre-dated Ana’s recurring character, but I can’t remember what sketch it was.
— The disturbing nature of Robert Goulet doing a romantic scene with his own daughter is very funny. And we get some great awkward facial reactions from Ana as the daughter when Robert Goulet tries to pull her closer and kiss her.
— Now the name Tony Dungy is used for one of the critics, which I believe is also the real-life name of an NFL coach.
STARS: ***½


THE BUSH TAX CUT
Tom Daschle (CHK) & Dick Gephardt (DAH) press conference tries too hard

— A good and funny Dick Gephardt voice from Darrell.
— Very funny turn with the reveal that middle-class families will get a dead squirrel for dinner under the Bush tax plan.
— I’m enjoying the answers given to the press regarding the dead squirrel.
— Some laughs from Darrell and Kattan’s teeth-gritted angry voices when “secretly” arguing with each other while having their backs turned to the camera.
— A pretty slow-paced sketch, but it might just feel that way because of the slow way Darrell’s speaking as Gephart.
STARS: ***


LASTING IMPRESSIONS
make your photo classy by electronically placing it into a brandy snifter

— Horatio is JUST NOW making his first appearance of the whole night, in the final sketch of the show. That’s still more than what Maya gets, though, who’s completely absent tonight. Quite a contrast from the preceding episode, in which Maya pretty much dominated.
— Horatio at least makes the most of his one and ONLY line of the whole night: “(delivered in an exaggerated Italian wiseguy manner) What frigging jackass took this picture anyways?!?”
— Fitting character for Alec, who can do roles like this in his sleep at this point.
— The prom picture of Will and Ana (screencap below) is the same one that was used in the I Took A Gay Guy To Prom pre-taped piece from season 23’s Steve Buscemi episode.

— Some pretty good laughs from the examples of things you can put a picture of inside a brandy snifter to make it look classier.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Don’t Panic”


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Not a particularly memorable Alec Baldwin episode, but certainly not bad. One of the more average Baldwin episodes, but there were still some strong pieces in the first half of this episode. Alec did his usual reliable job as a host.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Julia Stiles)
a slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Renee Zellweger

Posted on

December 12, 1998 – Alec Baldwin / Luciano Pavarotti with Vanessa Williams (S24 E9)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

APOLOGY
Bill Clinton (DAH) lapses into seduction while stressing his remorse

— Some good laughs from Darrell’s President Clinton delivering various “sorry”s to the camera, in light of senate recently voting to impeach him.
— Very funny line from Clinton about having the board game Sorry in his office.
— I love how Clinton is now using different camera angles, lighting, and background music to prove the sincerity of his “sorry”s.
— Now this is getting even funnier with Clinton’s “sorry”s turning to him seducing us.
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
John Goodman [real] & JIF fuel host’s SNL fire a la A Christmas Carol

— Funny beginning with Alec complaining about this being his 8th time hosting “this friggin’ show”, because all the stuff going on with the president’s impeachment makes Alec question what the point is of doing comedy.
— Ha, John Goodman makes YET ANOTHER cameo this season. I think it’s safe to say that he’s gotten more screen time so far this season than cast member Tracy Morgan. By the way, tonight is the THIRD episode this season that Tracy ends up being completely absent in (the other two episodes being Ben Stiller and Jennifer Love Hewitt). Just let that sink in, people: we’re only halfway through this season, and Tracy has already been absent in THREE EPISODES.
— I like the bit with Lorne telling Darrell that they’re gonna have to let him go if Alec has a bad show tonight.
— In the “Live from New York” book, Alec mentions how John Goodman flubbing a line in this monologue resulted in an upset Alec muttering “asshole” under his breath. This incident must’ve happened at dress rehearsal, because it’s nowhere to be seen in the live version I’m currently watching.
— Jimmy’s only been on the show for half a season at this point, and he already gets a good amount of applause from the audience when walking on in this monologue as himself.
— A now-famous aspect of this monologue is SNL accurately predicting that Jimmy would go on to host SNL in December 2011. The exact date is a little off, though, as this monologue states that it would be on December 12, whereas it ended up being on the 17th.
— Fun seeing a future rendition of SNL’s opening montage.
— Hilarious gag in the future opening montage with John Goodman being a cast member.
— Interesting how this 2011 rendition of SNL has Don Pardo replaced by a “Don Pardo 9000” robot. SNL probably thought back in 1998 that there was no way the real Pardo would still be announcing for SNL in 2011, or even be alive. Little did they know…
— A very strong and fun monologue overall.
STARS: ****½


NBA ON NBC
NBC’s NBA lockout coverage puts an exciting spin on negotiations’ tedium

— A funny concept of this ad, presenting NBA lockout negotiations in the style of a typical hyped-up “NBA on NBC” promo.
— I like the various fake-out announcements of featured guests such as “Michael Jordan…..’s agent”.
STARS: ***½


MORNING LATTE
chitchat of Tom & Cass gets into (host)’s personal life

— I like Will and Cheri’s reaction to hearing Alec explain what Global Warming is.
— Funny bit from Cheri about an apology letter that her husband wrote to her for cheating on her.
— We get a variation on the usual “You stupid bitch!” outburst from the producer character in these Morning Latte sketches, by having him tell Will and Cheri to take the gingerbread cookies and “shove ’em in YOUR ASS!” That line only worked for Alec’s great delivery of it.
STARS: ***½


CHILDREN’S CLOWN
mannish 6 year-old girl (host) engenders lust in hospital clown (MOS)

— A very bizarre and interesting premise, with Alec playing a six-year-old girl who supposedly has a condition that makes her look like a grown man.
— Alec’s little girl characterization is funny in how he’s casually just playing it as his normal self.
— Holy hell at Molly and the “six-year-old girl” suddenly making out with wild passion.
— I’m enjoying the disturbing and twisted nature of this sketch, though I can see it being off-putting for some people. I also recall some SNL reviewers from this time in 1998 comparing this to the notorious Canteen Boy sketch that Alec appeared in, though this Clown sketch is pretty tame compared to that.
— I like Molly’s mock-dramatic soliloquy after she gets fired.
— Boy, not only was Ana’s nurse character suddenly making out with the “six-year-old girl” a predictable and unnecessary ending, but it died with the audience.
— Not sure whether or not I like the ending screen crawl revealing that the “six-year-old girl” was later proven to be a 42-year-old man. It kinda felt like a cop-out to avoid a Canteen Boy-like controversy. I did like the last part of that screen crawl, with the screen crawl voice-over (Parnell) saying “Ain’t love a kick in the pants?”
STARS: ***½


TV FUNHOUSE
by RBS- at the first Christmas, Harlem Globetrotters & Jesus play hoops

 

— A funny and spot-on parody of the Harlem Globetrotters animated series from the 70s.
— I love the low-budget laugh track heard all throughout this, with the exact same audio being played of a man literally saying a monotone “Ah ha ha ha ha.”
— Funny visual of Baby Jesus dunking a basketball.
— Nice touch with the ending credits of this TV Funhouse being displayed in a special fancy style.
STARS: ***½


10-10-1776-5-28-1830-242-3-316-68-22
long distance code mnemonic comprises USA human-rights violations

— A great spoof of those long-distance phone commercials from this time period.
— Hilarious how Alec and Ana are treating the complicated breakdown of the insanely-long phone number as if it’s simple.
— I love the very random historical events being used to help you remember each section of the long phone number. This is a very strong piece.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guests perform “Adeste Fideles”


WEEKEND UPDATE
COQ details the maneuvering surrounding the Bill Clinton impeachment vote
TIM, Vanessa Williams, Janice Pendarvis [real] do a sexy Kwanzaa carol

— Some funny vocal impressions from Colin during his opening straight-to-camera rant about President Clinton’s impeachment. I especially like Colin’s Richard Lewis impression.
— Funny unscripted bit with Colin hiding his face with his hand in amused embarrassment (the fourth above screencap for this Weekend Update) over butchering the foreign name of an Olympian.
— A strong and memorable comment from Colin about a now-safe-and-clean New York: “New York has become your crazy drinking buddy who got married and had kids.”
— Here comes Kwanzaa Timmy! This is a popular commentary of Tim’s.
— This Kwanzaa Timmy song is fantastic. Also, nice use of the “Kwanzettes” backing up Tim.
— I like Colin’s exclamation of “Yes!” when Kwanzaa Timmy asks him “Are you in?”
STARS: ***½


THE DELICIOUS DISH
Margaret Jo & Terry salivate over Pete Schwetty’s (host) holiday balls

— Needless to say, here comes a legendary sketch. This is airing much later in this episode than I would’ve expected it to, not only because of what a classic it would go on to be, but because the Delicious Dish sketches in general are usually always placed upfront in the first half of the episodes they appear in.
— This is the first time in a while we’ve seen the Delicious Dish ladies back in the NPR studio, after their last two sketches took place outdoors.
— I love Molly’s brief mention of her “excessive rat problem” at home.
— Aaaaaand there’s the epic turn, with Alec’s line “The thing I’d most like to bring out is my balls.”
— Ana: “My mouth’s watering just thinking about those balls.“ Molly: “It’s been years since I’ve seen any balls.”
— Every single line about Pete Schwetty’s balls is a freakin’ RIOT. I can’t quote anymore lines, or I’d literally end up quoting the entire conversation in this sketch.
— Okay, I do want to quote what is probably universally known as the signature line of this sketch: “No one can resist my Schwetty Balls.” Perfectly delivered by Alec.
— Another thing that makes this sketch great is when you remember that Delicious Dish is a radio show, and you wonder what it must sound like to listeners of this show hearing all of the suggestive talk of “balls”.
— Speaking of what the “balls” talk must’ve sounded like to listeners, I’m surprised this overall sketch didn’t have a moment with either of the Delicious Dish ladies going “Wow, the phone lines are really lighting up tonight.” Maybe I missed it during tonight’s viewing due to laughing so hard throughout the sketch; I could swear from my past viewings that this sketch had that part in it. Maybe I’m thinking of the far inferior sequel they’d later do to this sketch, where Alec’s character promotes his Schwetty Wieners.
STARS: *****


IMPEACHMENT HEARINGS
impeached Bill Clinton’s (DAH) defenders assail his character at hearings

— Feels odd seeing a topical Impeachment Hearings sketch being buried towards the end of an episode, but understandably, SNL didn’t want to place this too close to the solo Clinton cold opening.
— Jimmy’s look as Alan Dershowitz is cracking me up.
— Ha, now Kattan’s look is even funnier as David Kendall.
— Tim playing O.J. Simpson as one of the speakers is worth a laugh.
— A black female extra can be seen playing Maxine Waters on the panel of representatives. Oh, come on, SNL, are you trying to snub Tracy? Tracy played Maxine Waters in the Impeachment Hearings cold opening from the last episode, so naturally, that should’ve been a perfect excuse to have him make AT LEAST one appearance tonight. Is he out sick this week or something?
— Although I’m enjoying this sketch, some parts of it are dragging a little.
STARS: ***


CHANUKAH HYMNS
album features very-unfestive Jewish holiday songs

— I like the accent Alec’s using in this sketch.
— Will’s stiff singing is very funny.
— Some good laughs from all of the bad Chanukah songs being advertised.
STARS: ***½


BULL & BEAR
the drunk businessmen honor Bill Brasky’s Wall Street prowess

— The return of Bill Brasky, after a year-long absence! This ends up being the final installment of the regular run of Bill Brasky sketches. Decades later, it would be revived for one night only, in a Paul Rudd-hosted episode.
— Fun seeing Alec Baldwin AND John Goodman appearing together in a Brasky sketch, considering the host who appeared in the previously-aired Bill Brasky installments was either just Alec or John. By this point, SNL had pretty much no choice BUT to do a Brasky sketch with both hosts present, as all of Will’s castmates who regularly played Brasky buddies (David Koechner, Mark McKinney) were long gone.
— Alec: “Brasky went public with his own buttocks and made 7 million!”
— Alec, in the middle of Will’s Brasky story: “I masturbate to the Teletubbies!”
— Will, on Brasky: “He has a toenail on the end of his penis!”
— Will: “Brasky named the group Sha Na Na! They did not wanna be called that!”
— John: “They use Brasky’s foreskin as a tarp when it rains in Yankee Stadium!”
— I like that this Brasky sketch is going on longer than usual.
— Hey, why’d this sketch end without Tim ever showing up as his usual “Hey, are you guys talking about Bill Brasky?” character? After all, they had Ana show up as her usual “You men smell awful!” character, so where was Tim?
STARS: *****


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very solid Christmas episode and Alec Baldwin episode. Not only was this episode strong, and not only were there no sketches that I found weak, but we got a great one-two punch of classics Kwanzaa Timmy and Schwetty Balls airing back to back with each other. I also like how the novelty of having Luciano Pavarotti as a musical guest gave this episode a special feel, as did the use of a full orchestra being shown playing music in the studio during some of the commercial breaks.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Vince Vaughn)
a moderate step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
We enter the year 1999, with host Bill Paxton