Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
NO GLOATING
supposed good sport Bill Clinton (DAH) gloats about beating impeachers
— Ah, “I will not gloat”. A famous and memorable Clinton cold opening.
— I love Darrell-as-Clinton’s sarcasm over getting impeached by an entire “house” of representatives.
— A good laugh from a picture of a horse’s ass “accidentally” being used to represent Henry Hyde.
— A particularly great part with Tracy’s Betty Currie doing a slow gloating dance to Aretha Franklin’s “Chain of Fools”.
— A cool change-up to the “Live from New York…” sign-on, with Darrell’s Clinton saying “Live from New York, it’s gloatin’ time!”
STARS: ****½
MONOLOGUE
Ben Affleck [real] asks host to stop pretending she’s English
— Already a good start with Gwyneth immediately speaking casually with a phony English accent as if it’s normal for her.
— Ben Affleck cameo. Nice to see this in retrospect, knowing what a great recurring SNL host he would later be. (His first hosting stint is the following season.)
— I liked English Gwyneth’s little line about “humorous” being spelled with an “o-u-r”.
— Right in this very first SNL appearance of his, Ben Affleck is coming off very solid, especially his mention of his and Gwyneth’s recent breakup. Now that I’m aware that this monologue is shortly after their breakup, this shows what great sports both Gwyneth and Ben are to perform with each other in this.
— Another great line from Ben to Gwyneth: “Don’t go all Minnie Driver on me, okay?”
STARS: ****
IMPEACHMENT COVERAGE
E! offers awards show-style coverage of the Clinton impeachment trial
— A very funny concept of a typical E! red carpet special being done for the Impeachment Trial, of all things.
— Gwyneth is funny as Sharon Stone, especially her “Isn’t he creepy?” line about her new husband. This Sharon Stone impression is also kinda infamous, as the real Sharon Stone would publicly complain about how offended she was by it, especially the aforementioned “Isn’t he creepy?” line.
— Speaking of celebrity impressions that famously pissed off the real person, Kattan’s Andy Dick always amuses me.
— WTF? Tim as Betty Currie? Didn’t we just see Tracy playing her earlier tonight in the cold opening? Is SNL going for a season 10 Doug Henning thing here (where Martin Short and Rich Hall each played Doug Henning in a separate sketch in the same episode)?
— I really like the random apocalyptic ending.
STARS: ****
VH1
Behind The Music- Joan Jett (host) recalls “I Love Rock n’ Roll”
— This is the first of several pre-taped black-and-white VH1 Behind the Music mini-sketches that we’ll be seeing this season (especially in tonight’s episode).
— Another strong and funny performance from Gwyneth tonight, and she’s really making this sketch.
STARS: ****
BLACK ANGELS
Mary Katherine Gallagher proves tougher than her all-girl gang initiators
— One of the more famous Mary Katherine Gallagher sketches, which is impressive, considering the character is nearing the end of her run at this point and it seemed like she had been running out of steam before this.
— I like MKG’s line about making her decision to be a bad girl after seeing “The Patty Hearst Story”.
— Some laughs from the disgusting loud water-lapping sounds being heard when MKG is off-camera drinking water out of a toilet.
— A classic part with MKG telling Paula Pell’s nun character “I bet you have a real hairy ass”, followed by her literally barking at the nun.
— Another classic part, with MKG’s pratfall through the bathroom stalls, complete with water spraying out of a pipe from the wall. Easily my favorite MKG pratfall of all time. An interesting behind-the-scenes tidbit about this portion of the sketch is that Molly actually injured the back of her head when she was repeatedly throwing herself backwards onto the knocked-down bathroom stall walls while repeatedly yelling “I’ll kill ya!” at the camera. Like a trouper, Molly continues on with the sketch without missing a beat and without showing any signs of pain, but after this sketch ends, she spends the remainder of tonight’s episode with an ice pack pressed against the back of her head whenever she’s not onstage.
— Overall, this gets my vote for best Mary Katherine Gallagher sketch.
STARS: ****
VH1
Behind The Music- John Oates (CHK) came up with “Private Eyes” claps
— Short and funny, though not as strong as the Joan Jett one from earlier tonight.
STARS: ***½
MINDY & SKY
dumb girlfriend (host) ruins musician’s (JIF) act but is too sexy to drop
— A lot of laughs from the misinformed statements and bad songs that Gwyneth’s dumb hippie character is making throughout the sketch.
— Gwyneth’s “Rainforests are the devil” song is particularly hilarious.
STARS: ****
TV FUNHOUSE
“X-Presidents” by RBS- impeachment spurs a rampage by the Constitution
— Funny visual of the Constitution coming alive and randomly eating people’s midsection, exposing their skeleton.
— A particularly shocking and hilarious part with Strom Thurmond gleefully telling a black senator, after the Emancipation Proclamation gets destroyed, “Whoo-hee, you’re mine, boy!” and trying to chain him. SNL’s studio audience can be heard groaning LOUDLY at that. Haha, gotta love Robert Smigel for daring to go places that SNL usually wouldn’t dream of.
— A great Iran/Contra scandal throwback reference, with Reagan and Bush destroying the monstrous Constitution by using a move that they call the “Ollie North”, which involves shredding the paper.
— Overall, one of the stronger X President cartoons.
STARS: ****
STATEN ISLAND NURSES
(host) & (CHO) socialize amidst medical drama
— This is one of the first SNL episodes I ever saw, and when this sketch came on during that viewing of mine, not knowing who was hosting this episode, I honestly mistook Gwyneth for Fran Drescher, considering the Nanny-esque way Gwyneth looked in that wig along with the New York accent she was doing (though she’s not doing a nasal voice like The Nanny).
— I’m iffy on this sketch, as the material feels a little on the weak side, but Cheri and especially Gwyneth’s performances are decent.
— I love Darrell’s line regarding two breast implants he’s holding in his hand: “I gotta go put these in some broad’s rack!”
STARS: **½
E!
Trent Lott (DAH) says “You’re Watching E!”
— Well… this overall bit was certainly random. Not to mention VERY short and straightforward, with Darrell’s Trent Lott impression from tonight’s earlier E! Impeachment Coverage sketch just saying into the camera “I’m Trent Lott, and you’re watching E!.” That’s it. That’s literally the ENTIRE sketch. I guess it’s kinda funny that Trent Lott, of all people, would do one of those brief “I’m (insert name here), and you’re watching E!” ads that celebrities would often do on E! in this era (Comedy Central also had ads like that in this same era), and maybe SNL’s just going for added realism here, after having done a full-length E! sketch earlier tonight.
— What’s with SNL’s heavy VH1 and E! focus in tonight’s episode, anyway?
— Hell, my review of this sketch is about four times as long as the sketch itself was.
STARS: N/A (too brief and material-less to give a rating to)
WEEKEND UPDATE
multitalented beltway insider Vernon Jordan (TIM) sings about himself
— For the first time all season, a Weekend Update doesn’t precede its opening title sequence with Colin standing in front of the Update desk and doing a straight-to-camera rant. I think that aspect of Colin’s Updates is officially gone by this point, but I can’t say for sure until I review the next episode.
— Boy, is Colin’s delivery awkward on some jokes so far tonight, even moreso than usual. Some of his jokes are bombing badly tonight too (which Colin, of course, responds to by comically scolding the audience for not laughing).
— Some pretty strong jokes from Colin tonight are somewhat balancing out the clunkers. A wildly hit-and-miss Update from Colin.
— Man, the graphics department sure screwed up Colin’s Eugene Robinson joke, by accidentally putting up an unrelated picture of Cher and a young black boy on the Update news screen (intended for Colin’s next joke), resulting in an understandably confused audience (and me).
— A very random musical turn during Tim’s Vernon Jordan commentary, but Tim is giving it that usual Tim Meadows charm that I always love.
— Now the Vernon Jordan commentary is getting even more random and extensive, with the use of Horatio, Ana, Molly, and Parnell as old-timey singers.
— I’m howling at the goofy open-mouthed smile on Tim’s face in the background when looking at the camera while doing a slow leg-kicking dance behind the singers (the last above screencap for this Weekend Update).
STARS: **½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “It’s All Been Done”
DOING VOICES
(WIF)’s fiancee Margaret Healey (MOS) & her family love the jokey accents
— I wasn’t caring too much for this at first, until Ana started joining in on the ladies’ jokey accent gimmick by using a Southern belle voice. Not sure why Ana’s making this jokey accent gimmick work for me, but she is.
— Will is a funny straight man in this, and is now providing my real laughs in this.
— I recall an old SNL review from 1999 pointing out how much Horatio, in that wig and glasses, resembled John Belushi.
— A much-needed hilarious turn at the end with Horatio’s warning to Will.
— Nice touch at the very end with Horatio softly beginning to suffocate himself with a pillow.
STARS: ***
VH1
Behind The Music- Colin Hay (JIF) gets lost in “Who Can It Be Now”
— Knowing Jimmy’s love for 80s hit songs, he’s perfectly cast in this role of Colin Hay getting lost in his own bad reminiscent singing of some lyrics from “Who Can It Be Now”.
— Hmm, I’m not finding myself laughing much here. This piece is coming off pretty weak.
— The sketch-ending audience applause seemed to drown out whatever Jimmy’s final line was.
STARS: **
BIOGRAPHY
bitter over being ousted, Jack Perkins (DAH) tars Harry Smith
— A change of pace for these Biography sketches.
— I love the idea of Darrell’s recently-fired Jack Perkins bitterly doing a slanderous biography on his replacement, Harry Smith. The false info this biography is giving about Smith’s life is hilarious.
— A very funny scene with Darrell’s Perkins himself doing a re-enactment of Harry Smith supposedly murdering Bob Crane.
— Random walk-on from Gwyneth as Perkins’ new Inuit wife.
STARS: ****
SENATE VOTING
William Rehnquist (WIF) tires of partisan voting during impeachment trial
— Hmm, I have absolutely no memory of this sketch from my previous viewings of this episode.
— Darrell’s Trent Lott impression is getting a real workout tonight, appearing in THREE sketches in the same episode.
— The increasingly irrelevant things the senate is taking votes on are providing some laughs.
STARS: ***
HARDCORE ROCK
host endorses album of porn movie soundtrack music
— A funny turn early on with Gwyneth casually revealing how much she loves watching hardcore porn.
— Some good laughs from the way Gwyneth is nonchalantly reading off the various dirty porn titles that are displayed on the bottom of the screen, though you can tell she almost started cracking up at one very brief point.
— Overall, short and sweet.
STARS: ***½
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A strong episode. The first half was especially great, with a lot of very solid and memorable sketches receiving a high rating from me. Gwyneth Paltrow impressed me with her very good performances all throughout this episode. I don’t recall her following two hosting performances (from 2001 and 2011) being anything special, but just based on her hosting performance in tonight’s episode, she definitely deserved to be brought back for a second hosting stint.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (James Van Der Beek)
a mild step up
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Brendan Fraser