Tag: Christina Aguilera

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November 11, 2006 – Alec Baldwin / Christina Aguilera (S32 E5)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

A MESSAGE FROM THE SPEAKER ELECT
Nancy Pelosi’s (KRW) platform confirms worst fears about Democrat control

— Interesting seeing Kristen at this early stage of her SNL tenure front-and-center in an address-to-the-nation cold opening, for her first time ever.
— Kristen’s Nancy Pelosi: “We Americans have always been a religious people, a member on my staff tells me.”
— So many funny announcements from Kristen’s Nancy Pelosi, even the line about gerbils.
— I love Will’s casual, affable delivery while dressed in a ridiculous S&M outfit.
— A very fun spoof of democrats.
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
host & 30 Rock co-stars TIF & TRM give their credentials

— As the camera is panning down to the home base stage during Alec Baldwin’s entrance, two people in the floor seats actually give Alec a standing ovation (screencap below).

— I’m getting some laughs from Alec’s smug bragging about how he has no competition in terms of stars on the struggling NBC.
— Tina Fey in her first cameo after leaving the cast.
— Tracy Morgan’s various Star Wars one-liners are funny, especially his very Tracy Morgan-y one-liner “I’m personal friends with Obi-Wan Kenobi.”
— I love Alec imitating Tracy’s voice when saying “And I’m five to infinity!” Alec would later reprise this Tracy Morgan vocal imitation in SNL’s 40th Anniversary Special, when him and Tina do a tribute of sorts to the then-ailing Tracy (this was when he was recovering from his tragic car accident).
STARS: ***½


E-ZDATE.COM
online matchmaker e-zdate.com is a thinly-veiled front for prostitution

— Believe it or not, this is the FIRST pre-taped commercial to air all season. I can’t think of any other seasons before or after this where the first-aired pre-taped commercial was THIS far into the season. I think season 42 comes close; IIRC, the first pre-taped commercial of that season to air, “Chonk”, isn’t until the third episode of the season.
— Kenan’s line about “the behind” being the location he chose to spend his date was hilarious.
— Aside from Kenan’s aforementioned line and another laugh, this overall commercial didn’t do much for me.
STARS: **


BRITNEY’S DIVORCE
Britney Spears’ (AMP) grievances justify her divorce from Kevin Federline

— Well, I see an annoying remnant of the Tina Fey era, in which sketches overly obsessed with celebrity gossip and pop culture are placed upfront in episodes, has manifested itself into the early stages of this new post-Fey era. Yeah, not too thrilled about that.
— Amy-as-Britney’s line about getting “panty crickets” after Kevin Federline met Alyssa Milano was hilarious.
— Funny ending reveal from Britney about leaving her babies in the car for an hour.
— Despite some laughs, I was a little lukewarm on this sketch as a whole, and it probably would’ve worked better for me had it been placed later in the episode.
STARS: **½


SADDAM’S DEFENSE TEAM
condemned Saddam Hussein (host) meets with his lawyers (BIH) & (FRA)

— Alec’s Saddam Hussein impression from Alec’s season 31 episode returns for its final appearance.
— Two sketches IN A ROW that center around a famous person meeting with their lawyer(s)? Feels kinda redundant.
— Only 40 seconds into this sketch, and I’m already VERY sick of all the unfunny pop culture/TV show references Alec’s Saddam is constantly making. SNL has such an annoying habit of having foreign dictators do that.
— I do kinda like the touch of Alec’s Saddam sticking his head back into the room at the very end of this sketch (right as the screen is about to fade to black) to loudly join in on Bill and Fred’s nervous laughter, a move on Alec’s part that I’m assuming is an ad-lib.
— Overall, this sketch did almost NOTHING for me. Between the Britney sketch and this (and even the e-zdate.com commercial), this episode has not been starting off well post-monologue.
STARS: *½


VALTREX
(AMP)’s husband’s (host) Valtrex use calls his fidelity into question

— Wow, two pre-taped commercials early in tonight’s episode. Maybe SNL’s making up for lost time.
— Seeing a medication commercial with Alec paired with a female cast member as his wife reminds me of the Tylenol BM commercial Alec did with Rachel Dratch the preceding season.
— Alec’s trademark delivery is so perfect for this, and the implications of his character’s infidelity are funny.
— Overall, short and sweet.
STARS: ***½


CARPOOL
unlikely conversational missteps plague carpoolers (host) & (KRW)

— A very well-loved sketch.
— Very funny part with Kristen revealing that the Celine Dion song playing on the car radio is a CD, followed by Kristen disclosing to Alec a hilarious dramatic story about once having been rescued by Celine Dion.
— I’m absolutely loving how Alec and Kristen are each being offended by literally every single thing the other says or does, as it brings back a very touchy memory for them. And the escalation of the absurdity to these offenses is fantastic. There was a sketch with a similar premise in the season 13 Angie Dickinson episode (as I mentioned in this review of that episode), but I doubt many people remember that sketch compared to this one, and that’s understandable, as the Angie Dickinson sketch was, while not bad, completely unmemorable, and pales in comparison to the expert way this Carpool sketch is executing the similar premise.
— The on-point delivery from both Alec and Kristen is complementing this material so perfectly. Kristen is particularly fantastic here. One of her all-time best SNL performances.
— Hilarious reveal of Kristen being metal from the waist down.
— And there’s the moment that solidifies this already-fantastic sketch as a bonafide classic: Alec immediately blurting out “Bobby McFerrin raped my grandmother” in response to Kristen attempting to lighten the mood by affably saying “Don’t worry, be happy.” I remember when this sketch originally aired, that Bobby McFerrin one-liner of Alec’s gave me one of the hardest laughs I have EVER gotten from SNL. I’ll never forget that.
— Alec’s priceless Bobby McFerrin line is capped off well by the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” immediately playing on the car radio when Kristen turns it on in an attempt to get Alec’s mind off of what he had just said about Bobby McFerrin. Great way to end this sketch. I heard there’s some versions of this sketch that shorten the ending, fading to black immediately after Alec’s Bobby McFerrin one-liner, presumably because of music licensing issues involving the use of the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”. I can’t remember if I’ve ever seen this edited version of the sketch, but the shortened ending sounds like it would still be a perfect way to end this sketch.
— Overall, an absolute masterpiece.
STARS: *****


TV FUNHOUSE
“Kobayashi” [real] by RBS- champion hot dog eater saves the day in anime

— A hilarious and brilliant idea of a Takeru Kobayashi-starring anime superhero series. And as Robert Smigel has proven with the Ah-Lin The Skater Man cartoon from season 23, he’s adept at spoofing the anime genre.
— The cutaway to an anime Refrigerator Perry saying a shocked “Damn!” was hilarious.
— Very strong execution of this TV Funhouse.
— Wow, this is even involving the real Kobayashi in live-action interstitial scenes.
— A big laugh from the brief cutaway to a child puking in the toilet during the upbeat live-action musical scene with Kobayashi and the children.
STARS: ****½


THE PLATINUM LOUNGE
Steve Martin [real] rues host’s 13th SNL gig; MAS & Paul McCartney cameos

— Oh, words cannot express how I love that SNL is doing a variation of the Five-Timers Club concept, by having a Platinum Lounge for people who have hosted over 12 times.
— A big laugh from Alec immediately going from telling Maya he’ll allow her to visit the exclusive Platinum Lounge club to telling her a half-hearted, dismissive “I’m sorry, Maya, I did what I could” when the doorman doesn’t allow her into the club.
— Steve Martin! And it’s wonderful that SNL is continuing the premise of the Steve Martin/Alec Baldwin rivalry that was established in Steve’s episode from the preceding season.
— Ha, Martin Short randomly playing the waiter of the Platinum Lounge! And I love how Steve comments on that by just telling Alec “It’s sad.”
— Very fun bit with Steve’s attempts at poisoning Alec’s drink.
— I love Steve trying to make Alec continue looking out the window while panickedly trying to wipe up Alec’s drink that has overflowed after Steve poisoned it.
— Alec, while violently kicking Steve on the floor: “I…was in…Schwetty….Balls!”
— As an SNL nerd, and the fact that doing this SNL project has basically and unintentionally made an SNL historian out of me, I love how, when Alec is rapidly running down the dates of all of Steve Martin’s hosting stints, he mumbles the actual dates of Steve’s first few episodes (October 23, 1976, February 26, 1977, September 24, 1977, three times in 1978) before resorting to just mumbling fast-paced gibberish for the rest of the dates.
— Paul McCartney! And judging from Alec’s reaction, Alec was not expecting this. His shocked facial reaction to Paul’s cameo looks 100% genuine. I’m assuming SNL sprung this as a surprise to Alec. I recall hearing that a surprise Paul McCartney cameo being sprung on Alec would later happen again in a live 30 Rock episode. Is that true? I’ve never seen that 30 Rock episode myself.
— The ending between Steve, Paul, and Martin seems ad-libbed, adding further evidence that Paul’s cameo was most likely thrown in at the last minute.
STARS: *****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Ain’t No Other Man”


WEEKEND UPDATE
process of moving Donald Rumsfeld (DAH) from his office allegorizes Iraq

AMP’s irked Aunt Linda (KRW) gives eye-rolling reviews of new movies

waiter’s (ANS) misplaced decimal point produced Tom Cruise’s $10,000 meal

 

— Interesting change of pace by having Seth do a live (though we’re told it’s taped) interview of Darrell’s Donald Rumsfeld on a different set.
— I’m not caring for the the bit with Kenan’s mover character during the Rumsfeld interview, and how Kenan’s failure to move the couch is alluding to the Iraq situation.
— The overall Donald Rumsfeld/couch mover segment fell badly flat for me. SNL would later replace this segment with the dress rehearsal version in reruns, in which a lot of the lines are completely different, and the overall segment works MUCH better than the live version of it did. The fact that they re-wrote the piece between dress rehearsal and the live show probably at least partly explains why the live version came off so weak and poorly executed.
— After the Donald Rumfseld interview ends and Amy thanks Seth for his “taped” report, I love Seth then re-entering the Update set, walking up to Amy, and saying, while looking into the camera, “You’re welcome, Amy”, comically breaking the illusion that the Rumsfeld interview Seth had just done was pre-taped.
— Kristen’s big night continues, as she gets her very first Weekend Update showcase (unless I’m forgetting something).
— A decent characterization from Kristen as Aunt Linda, and this commentary isn’t bad. However, this seems like something best left as a one-off. I get the feeling I’m not going to care for this character’s subsequent appearances when I have to review them (and it doesn’t help that she makes A LOT of appearances this season, IIRC).
— Seth has been having some killer jokes tonight. Amy has also had a few.
— I love Andy’s flat “Ohhh, noooo” when realizing he overcharged Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes on their meal. This is the type of humor that Andy can make work.
— Overall, Amy and Seth had their best Update up to this point. Too bad the guest commentaries weren’t up to the same level and brought the rating down a little bit, even if I liked two of the three commentaries.
STARS: ***½


THE TONY BENNETT SHOW
tribute act (Tony Bennett) helps Tony Bennett (host) with duet

— Alec’s wig and make-up as Tony Bennett looks a little more spot-on than usual here, but that may be because of a certain special thing in store for us later in this sketch…
— Andy is perfect as a douchey Kevin Federline.
— And there he is: the real Tony Bennett. Tonight’s episode has been having some fantastic cameos.
— I get the feeling Tony stopping Alec mid-sentence to humorously tell him “You got a great nose job” was an ad-lib.
— I love the reveal of Tony’s stage name as a Tony Bennett impersonator: Phony Bennett.
— Out of SNL’s many “impersonator meets the celebrity they’re impersonating” sketches, which can get annoyingly cheesy and cliche at times, this is definitely one of the better and more charming ones.
— The usual funny spiel from Alec’s Bennett whenever he does his mid-sketch promotional ad.
— Nice duet from Alec and Tony at the end.
STARS: ****½


BRAZILIAN BAR
in a Brazil lounge, gauche roue (host) fails to charm (KRW), (ANS), (AMP)

— A fun one-off character for Alec, one that he seems like he can play to perfection.
— Alec to Amy: “You know what part of a woman I like best? And I’m not kidding about this: the vagina.”
— The occasional musical interstitial bits with Maya and Fred are a funny touch to this sketch.
— What’s the point of Jason even being in this sketch? He’s reduced to the role of a background extra, standing in the back of the set as a barely-noticeable bartender, and has no lines, nothing to do, and the camera doesn’t even show a remotely close shot of him. Odd. This has been a very light night for him in general.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Hurt”


A MOMENT WITH THE OUT-OF-BREATH JOGGER FROM 1992
The Out-Of-Breath Jogger’s moment from 1992 yields bits of nostalgia

— Well, this sure was an unlikely sketch to bring back.
— This isn’t working quite as well as the 1982 jogger one from earlier this season, but I’m still laughing. It also helps that I have somewhat of an obsession with early-mid 90s pop culture (probably due to those years being the peak years of my childhood).
— Something interesting I realized about this sketch: the amount of time between 1992, the year this sketch is taking place in, and 2006, the year this episode originally aired in, is only 14 years, the exact same amount of time between 2006 and our current year, 2020. This kinda blows my mind, as 1992 and all of its pop culture felt much older to me in 2006 than 2006 and all of its pop culture feels to me today. Can anyone else relate to this? Then again, I was only a little kid in 1992, which probably explains it. I’m guessing 2006 and its pop culture now feel really old to people who were little kids that year.
— Also, the fact that 1992 and 2006 have the exact same amount of years between them as 2006 and 2020 means that Andy could conceivably now do an “Out-of-Breath Jogger from 2006” sketch, a fact that further blows my mind. I’d actually be very curious to see him do that sketch.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Tony Bennett [real] perform “Steppin’ Out With My Baby”


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— While a little more flawed than I feel a lot of people remember this episode as being, this episode as a whole definitely had a classic vibe to it. The misfires from early on in the episode bring the overall quality down a bit, but this was still a strong episode. A lot of what worked in this episode was absolutely killer, we got two sketches tonight that received a perfect five-star rating from me (Carpool and The Platinum Lounge), and we got lots of special, fun, and very impressive cameos. The Christina Aguilera/Tony Bennett duet at the end of the show also added to the special, epic feel of this episode. And, of course, it helps that we had a veteran host like Alec Baldwin doing his usual terrific, expert job. An overall great episode, and one of Alec’s best. SNL has been on a real hot streak these past two episodes.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Hugh Laurie)
a very slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Ludacris

Posted on

February 21, 2004 – Christina Aguilera / Maroon 5 (S29 E13)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

HARDBALL WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS
Gary Bauer (CHP) & Rosie O’Donnell (HOS) debate gay marriage

— A lot of technical screw-ups with the name graphics early on in this sketch, as seen in some of the above screencaps.
— Horatio’s Rosie O’Donnell is starting to approach the same levels of annoyance for me as Horatio’s Elton John.
— Interesting how Darrell is playing dual roles here, with his Arnold Schwarzenegger being pre-taped.
— Hmm, Darrell’s usually-off Schwarzenegger impression actually sounds better than usual in pre-taped form. Maybe SNL has finally found the solution in improving Darrell’s Schwarzenegger.
— Darrell’s Schwarzenegger is basically just repeating same lines about gays that he said in the cold opening from this season’s premiere.
— This season’s streak of forgettably average Hardball sketches sadly continues. It’s becoming more and more obvious that the glory days of Hardball being a sure-fire killer sketch are behind us.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
after declining requests to “whore it up,” host performs “Beautiful”

— Pretty good bit with Christina Aguilera calling Jimmy out on the acute/askanky joke he did about her on Weekend Update earlier this season, complete with a clip of said joke.
— As I said in an earlier episode review, the joke of Lorne playing a horndog towards the host and/or musical guest has gotten overplayed. Also, this monologue is starting to feel like Part 2 of Halle Berry’s monologue from earlier this season, and I already disliked Part 1 enough.
— When Lorne asks the guys “Who’s that?” in regards to Finesse, and is then told “That’s the new guy, Finesse”, I love Lorne incredulously asking “We hired a guy named Finesse?!?”
— At least Christina’s singing of “Beautiful” (a song she already performed on SNL a year prior) isn’t being done as a full-fledged musical performance with her going to the musical guest stage.
STARS: **½


SEX AND THE CITY
finale has punny Carrie (AMP) & shemale Samantha (host)

— An absolutely PERFECT Samantha impression from Christina. Shockingly good.
— Some good laughs from Rachel’s poor handling of the obviously fake baby she’s holding.
— I’m having a hard time buying Amy as Sarah Jessica Parker.
— This comedic premise of Samantha coming out as a “tranny” will probably not hold up well with a lot of people nowadays. However, Christina is selling it so damn hard that it’s still working for me, even if I’m not finding this material quite as hilarious as I remember finding it in 2004.
STARS: ***½


DO YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS?
snotty scions ply privilege on game show

— Feels like we haven’t seen an original game show sketch like this in quite a long time, though I’m probably forgetting something.
— Chris doing his usual solid and low-key-funny work as a game show host.
— Seth’s accented, high-pitched delivery of “Do you know who my father is?” was so over-the-top that it cracked me up.
— Will: “I can’t even GO to Switzerland. Stupid date rape trial!”
— Despite some laughs, this sketch as a whole is pretty forgettable.
STARS: **½


TV FUNHOUSE
“Fun With Real Audio” by RBS- banal showbiz questions haunt Pat O’Brien

— Robert Smigel apparently continues to be very busy elsewhere, as this is surprisingly on his THIRD TV Funhouse of the season.
— Oh, geez, what is with SNL’s Access Hollywood obsession this season? I’ve gotten so sick of these frequent Access Hollywood parodies that not even Smigel can make me excited to see another one.
— I guess I see what this cartoon is going for, but this isn’t working much for me.
— Not even the part with the Dalai Lama beating up Pat O’Brien made me laugh much.
— Meh, the joke about O’Brien being dropped down to hell, which turns out to be Access Hollywood, felt like an inferior version of a joke used in a David Brenner-starring TV Funhouse from season 23.
— Overall, I seem to be in the minority, but I did not care for this cartoon.
STARS: **


CELEBRATION OF WOMEN WEEK
in 1880, liberated (host) challenges stuffy women to flout the status quo

— An out-of-the-ordinary use of Darrell’s Phil Donahue impression. Reminds me of his Jack Perkins hosting that jazz profile show sketch from the preceding season’s Queen Latifah episode.
— Rachel’s old-timey dignified accent and facial expressions are very funny.
— Great exit line from Chris: “If you need me, I’ll be discussing negroes in the brandy room.” Reminds me of his great exit line from the Governess sketch in the Andy Roddick episode earlier this season: “Your mom and I have some bedroom-related things to work out.”
— Some funny lines from the women about how oppressed they’ve always been.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “This Love”


WEEKEND UPDATE
ignorant white guy WLF is ill-suited to honor Black History Month

— I like the fake-out with Kenan being introduced for a Black History Month commentary, only for Will to unexpectedly show up in his place while Kenan’s name still gets displayed in a graphic on the bottom of the screen.
— A great line with Will rude answer to Tina’s question of why Maya can’t do the Black History Month commentary: “Tina, it’s not Half-Black History Month.”
— Hilarious part with Will calling out individual black audience members to wish a happy Black History Month to.
— Will is so damn fantastic in this Black History Month piece, and it’s so nice seeing him get to shine while playing himself for once. Moments like this really solidify what a strong secret weapon he is on SNL in these early years of his.
— A nice little shoutout to Bill Murray during Jimmy and Tina’s sign-off, with Jimmy wishing Bill luck at the Oscars, as he was up for Best Actor for Lost In Translation. (He would end up losing and would famously have an openly bitter reaction.)
— Another short Update, for the second episode in a row.
STARS: ***


YOU GOT SERVED
Venice Beach teens serve up lame moves during a low-stakes dance-off

— The beginning of this sketch feels oddly silent. It feels like there should be background music or something.
— Boy, I can tell I’m going to hate this sketch. This feels like a variation of that very unfunny Wade Robson Project sketch from this season’s premiere. Sketches like this epitomize some of the MANY problems I have with this 2003-2005 SNL era.
— Blah. Not a single one of these dance moves from any of the performers is funny. At least in the Wade Robson sketch, we only had to sit through a dance sequence from three performers. This sketch, on the other hand, has, like, seven performers who’s individual dance sequence I have to suffer through.
— There goes Maya using that lean-all-the-way-back-in-a-staccato-manner dance move ONCE AGAIN. She’s taken a once-hilarious dance move that was great when she debuted it in that MTV Spring Break sketch with her and Cameron Diaz, and has completely run it into the ground by this point of her SNL tenure.
— Christina’s dance sequence came off just plain lazy compared to the rest of the cast (or maybe she forgot that her dancing is supposed to be COMEDIC), which is ironic, as she has far more professional dance experience than any of the cast members in this sketch.
— Not even Will could save this sketch with his goofy walk-on at the end.
STARS: *


DRESSING ROOM
host rejects “skank” tag implicit in well-wishers’ backhanded compliments

— Kenan In A Dress alert.
— Finesse’s Al Reynolds constantly being referred to as Stedman is making me laugh, even though it kinda feels like a hacky joke.
— Some of the many sexual euphemisms being said to Christina are funny, but this sketch in general isn’t all that great and and feels too repetitive.
— Another instance this season of Horatio pulling a Chris Farley and crashing through a breakaway table. Meh. However, I did like Amy’s Sharon Osbourne explaining to Christina why Horatio’s Ozzy fainted: “You made Ozzy think!”
STARS: **½


BESOS Y LAGRIMAS
maid (host) inspires kisses & tears in telenovela

— This sketch makes its debut and would go on to appear VERY sporadically within the next six(!) years just about every time SNL has a Hispanic host. Speaking of which, I recall hearing that tonight’s installment originally got cut after dress rehearsal from the preceding season’s Salma Hayek episode, which Christina was the musical guest of.
— The bizarre nature of this sketch is cracking me up, as are the increasingly over-the-top dramatic close-ups of characters.
— The format of this sketch is almost starting to give me a very unwanted reminder of the future Californians sketches (a very polarizing recurring sketch that I despise with the fire of 1,000 suns), but this is miles funnier to me.
— When the camera showed a (very funny) close-up of an eyepatch-wearing Chris during the current sequence of each character being shown in a dramatic close-up, why didn’t he say “Helena” like everybody else is saying in their respective close-up? Was that an intentional joke?
STARS: ***½


HUGGIES THONG
— Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. We’re only a little over halfway through this season, and this is the FOURTH DAMN TIME this commercial has been shown this season. Ridiculous. This may possibly have broken the record for most frequently repeated fake ad in the shortest amount of time, until season 31 eventually comes along and replays the living fuck out of that Morgan Stanley ad (the one with Will angrily chewing out Amy and then-newbie Andy Samberg as if he’s Amy’s father, only for him to be revealed as Amy’s family’s Morgan Stanley guy) within just the first few months of that season.


FIRING SANDY
(CHP) fires childishly insubordinate employee (WLF) for absenteeism

— I love the bizarre opening conversation Chris has with Amy regarding his lunch order.
— Hilarious how Will claims that he took one of his many sick days because he had the Elephant Man’s Disease.
— The insane dialogue in this sketch is having me howling.
— After one of Will’s many utterances of “No way, Jose”, I absolutely love Chris angrily responding “Stop using my first name, it’s disrespectful!”
— I’m surprised this sketch is over already, after only about two minutes, but this was a good length.
— Not only was this the usual fantastic Oddball Will Forte Sketch, and not only was this Will’s second strong showcase in tonight’s episode alone, but it was also great to see him paired with Chris (who, like Will, is one of the secret weapons of this cast, only SNL seems far less aware of that than they are with Will), who more than held his own in this sketch. Between the great U-S-Amen bit from the preceding season and now this sketch, I’m starting to think that the Forte/Parnell comedy duo is something we viewers needed to see MUCH more often than we do in this era.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Harder To Breathe”


DON’S APOTHECARY
apothecary Don’s lack of discretion creates more customers for Walgreens

— The second and final installment of this sketch.
— Blah. Much like last time, this sketch is just a series of unfunny sophomoric jokes. In other words, typical unfunny Horatio Sanz jackassery, which I am beyond sick of by this point of his SNL tenure. I mentioned in my review of the first installment of this sketch that Horatio intended for these Don’s Apothecary sketches to be a relatable, slice-of-life piece that he based off of something from his own childhood. I appreciate the idea he had behind these sketches, but it is so sad that THIS is the result of his attempt at a so-called “relatable” and “slice-of-life” piece.
— Maya got a good laugh from me with her delivery of “It’s for the vagina, baby.”
— Another funny Maya line, with her telling Rachel “You go ahead and buy your ‘gina cream, baby.” She’s becoming the sole highlight of this entire sketch.
— Ugh, another Walgreens twist at the end. It wasn’t funny in the first installment of this sketch, and it’s just plain lazy to just repeat it a second time. Thank god this ends up being the final installment of this lousy recurring sketch.
STARS: *½


GOODNIGHTS

— After I had just shit on Horatio in my review of the last sketch, I will say that I appreciate the fun bit during these goodnights with him driving his motorized cart (from the last sketch) around outside of the home base stage. You rarely see anything out of the ordinary like that happen during the goodnights by this point of SNL’s run.

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A mixed bag. There was about an equal amount of things I liked and disliked… actually, the latter probably slightly outnumbers the former. Can’t think of anything else worth saying about this episode.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Drew Barrymore)
a slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Colin Firth

Posted on

March 15, 2003 – Salma Hayek / Christina Aguilera (S28 E15)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PRESS CONFERENCE
George W. Bush (CHP) fields softball questions barely related to Iraq

— At least SNL is finally using Parnell’s President Bush impression in something other than a straight-to-camera address to the nation, especially given how terrible the last one was.
— A lot of funny examples we’re seeing of “tough” and “hard-hitting” journalists, such as one being from Pineapple Growers Trade Association Weekly.
— It doesn’t feel right seeing Rachel taking over Ana Gasteyer’s Helen Thomas impression.
— Funny how Bush’s men are doing away with Rachel’s Helen Thomas in various ways, including chloroform over the mouth and a dart to the neck.
— An overall pretty fun cold opening, and it shows that Parnell’s Bush impression can be somewhat entertaining when he’s given fun material and characters to play off of, instead of snooze-worthy “tell, don’t show” address-to-the-nation cold openings that have him as the only person.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
’80s band comprising male castmembers & Edward Norton [real] bugs host

— Some funny visuals of the cast dressed in cheesy 80s outfits.
— Not much to this monologue, but the 80s musical number constantly being performed is funny enough.
— Pretty nice to see an Edward Norton cameo, knowing in retrospect what a strong and underrated host he would be 10 years later.
STARS: ***


TOP O’ THE MORNING
Latina (host) & beau William toast St. Patrick’s Day

— A pretty good laugh from the viper on the jukebox who always plays “Crocodile Rock”.
— Darrell is coming off miscast and VERY awkward during his brief appearance. And once again, I’m sensing a very dour undertone that plagues a lot of Darrell’s performances from the second half of his SNL tenure. He looks like he does NOT want to be there.
— Salma’s angry, violent rampage at the end is decent, though she’s no Rachel Dratch when it comes to tiny, seemingly-delicate women tearing apart a set in a season 28 sketch.
— Overall, I continue to not care too much for these Top O’ The Morning sketches as a whole, despite some laughs here and there.
STARS: **½


TV FUNHOUSE
“Are You Hot?” by RBS- Lorenzo Lamas [real] assesses cartoon characters

— Oh, geez, remember this ridiculous, god-awful ABC reality show? Hard to believe something like that really existed.
— Funny concept of classic cartoon characters being who Lorenzo Lamas judges.
— I’m enjoying the fast pacing of this.
— A good laugh from Lamas telling Droopy, in regards to his jowls, “Man, you need to Botox the (*bleep*) out of those.”
— Some of these cartoon character inclusions are not quite as funny as others.
— I love Lamas saying “Now at least I understand why you have a hot wife” after seeing how big Barney Rubble’s “package” is.
STARS: ***½


VERSACE OSCAR FASHION PREVIEW
musical guest picks up a dress

— So far, some mildly funny things, but ehhh. I feel these Versace sketches have been starting to lose their luster these past two installments, even though I’m finding Maya’s portrayal of Versace to still be reliable for some laughs.
— These Versace sketches need to realize that the word “bitch” stops being funny when it’s thrown around so frequently in such a short time frame.
— Dean FINALLY gets to play Michael Jackson.
— Hmm. You know, I hate to say it, but from what I’m currently seeing, Dean’s MJ ain’t all that great. Dean is spot-on when doing the high-pitched MJ melodic shouts, but when he speaks normally in a tender lower voice, he sounds nothing like MJ. Nothing. The strange thing is, I recall Dean sounding very accurate when imitating MJ’s tender speaking voice in the Michael Jackson In A Tree sketch from earlier this season (in which Dean played one of three Michael Jackson alien clones). I now wonder if it only came off accurate in that sketch compared to the utterly baffling take on MJ that Amy was doing. But when you see Dean’s MJ impression on its own… yeah, it’s not living up to all the hype that this impression had among online SNL fans at the time.
— A huge laugh from the reveal of what Maya’s Versace is wearing under her dress (the last above screencap for this sketch).
STARS: **½


BOX
while stuck in a cardboard box, (WLF) confronts his cheating wife (host)

— Another delightfully oddball Will Forte piece. The premise alone is great, and the execution only makes it even better.
— Will’s attempts to get out of the box are very funny.
— Great visual of Will’s head sticking out of the box hole.
— I love Will’s sleazy “You know, uh… I’m naked in here” reveal to Salma, which puts her off right after they just had a tender moment together.
— I’m getting so many laughs from the ridiculous shoutfest between Will and Jimmy, with them constantly using the word “flip” in place of the f-word.
— Jimmy is giving a great supporting performance, and he’s hilarious going absolutely over the top when repeatedly punching the box with such fiery passion.
— Overall, another masterpiece of a Will Forte sketch, ONCE AGAIN this season. Does Will have the strongest first season that a featured player has ever had on SNL? I’d argue he does. He’s been averaging at least one fantastic, brilliant, absurdist piece on almost a weekly basis in this first season of his. No wonder SNL ends up bending the rules and promoting him to a repertory player after only one season instead of two.
STARS: *****


VOTE FRIDA
host badmouths Chicago while supporting Frida’s bid for Academy Awards

— Some laughs from Salma’s flimsy reasons to vote for Frida over Chicago.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Beautiful”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Jimmy & Tina Yelling At America- JIF & TIF think USA needs self-criticism

Fericito’s wife & comedy partner Lupe (host) says JIF & TIF should marry

punk wannabe Avril Lavigne (AMP) is mad for no particular reason

Gollum (CHK) is of two minds when it comes to making Oscar picks

JIF plays guitar & sings pop-inspired songs about St. Patrick’s Day

— At least Jimmy gets to deliver the opening joke tonight, after how horrible the Tina-delivered opening joke of the last few Updates were.
— Ugh, even with Jimmy doing the opening joke of tonight’s Update, the first joke that Tina does right afterwards has a lousy and hacky gay punchline, for no good reason.
— The whole “Jimmy and Tina Yelling at America” segment is great, and is the funniest that the struggling Tina has been on Update in quite a long time.
— I’m glad there’s been a lengthy gap between Fericito’s last appearance and tonight’s.
— Salma is a nice addiction as Fericito’s new comedy sidekick and wife.
— Amy’s skewering of Avril Lavigne is very over-the-top and exaggerated, but it’s definitely cracking me up.
— At occasional points during the Avril Lavigne commentary, Jimmy can be seen mouthing Amy’s lines.
— I probably already said this in a recent episode review, but I’ve been loving Jimmy’s newfound deadpan delivery of certain snarky jokes lately, like his great Wheat Thins joke tonight.
— Kattan’s Gollum impression is solid, making this yet another surprisingly good thing Kattan’s doing in the second half of this final season of his. He debuted this Gollum impression two months prior, in SNL’s “Weekend Update Halftime Special”.
— Yet ANOTHER Update feature tonight, with Jimmy doing his annual guitar songs routine. This is a jam-packed Update. Am I watching a Brian Doyle-Murray-anchored SNL Newsbreak from season 7? Well, no, because unlike SNL Newsbreak, tonight’s Weekend Update is actually funny. (And that’s saying something, given that it’s starting to become increasingly rarer for me to like Fallon/Fey Updates this season.)
— I like Jimmy’s imitation of John Mayer’s facial expressions when doing a St. Patrick’s Day-themed variation of “Your Body Is A Wonderland”.
— As I said previous times, I’m always a sucker for when Jimmy parodies a musical guest’s song just minutes after said musical guest performed that very song on the SNL stage, and we get a case of that here with Jimmy parodying Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful”. I love how, at one point during that parody, Jimmy even imitates Christina’s habit of singing occasional notes in a soulfully growly manner.
— Overall, this is one of Jimmy’s better guitar song medleys.
— Tonight’s weekly end-of-Update walk-on from SNL writer Eric Slovin has him entering in baggy, urban clothes, taking Jimmy’s pencil, and then standing in a cool arms-crossed pose while watching Jimmy’s ongoing rap parody of Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”.
STARS: ***½


SEDUCTION CLASS
(host) teaches seduction to Vasquez, Gabe (FRA), Ruth (RAD), A.J. (TRM)

— The first of a few sketches that use this group of characters in an adult education setting. Also interesting how one of the members of this group is the already-existing recurring character Vasquez Gomez-Vasquez.
— I remember when this originally aired, it took me until Fred started speaking that I realized that was Fred and not Kattan. Something about Fred’s wig along with his facial expressions as this character made him resemble Kattan to me from a distance.
— Even as just a supporting character, Vasquez is still not doing much for me.
— I love Rachel’s line about how she’s very sexually active, “but I’d like to share that with another person”.
— Fred’s Gabe character is absolutely hilarious, and he’s running away with this entire sketch.
STARS: ***


VOTE FRIDA
host suggests that, unlike Frida, Chicago has links to terrorism

— Salma’s desperate attempts to make the movie Chicago look bad are getting funnier, with her now linking Chicago with terrorism.
STARS: ***½


KING KONG
director’s cut of original King Kong movie has the ape getting a hand job

— The “Channel 5 Late Night Movie” framing of this sketch was also used in the Radioactive Bear sketch from earlier this season.
— I love Tracy’s delivery of “What the hell?!?” when King Kong’s erect penis has broken into Tracy’s living room through the window.
— Some good laughs from Salma and Tracy’s unintentional jerking-off of King Kong’s dong.
— Jimmy and Horatio are mostly playing it straight and aren’t hijacking this with their typical jackassery, but Jimmy still keeps occasionally smirking out of character at some of Horatio’s lines for no apparent reason, and they both occasionally make awkward pauses between their lines.
— A particularly hilarious part with Tracy looking out the window and mistaking King Kong’s testicles for two fuzzy bean bag chairs.
— SNL seems to be really struggling lately in finding ways to use Darrell. His only two appearances tonight both had him just making a very brief walk-on in a non-celebrity role (one of which he pulled off VERY awkwardly, as mentioned earlier in my review of the Top O’ The Morning sketch), even if he is well-cast in this King Kong sketch as the “Twas beauty killed the beast” guy from the real King Kong movie.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Fighter”


VOTE FRIDA
host interrupts Chicago rebuttal to plug Frida once more

— A laugh from this ad clarifying that Richard Gere is a Buddhist, not a rapist.
— The punchline at the end was funny enough, but I found this to be a bit of a step down from the direction these ads were going in.
STARS: ***


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A pretty consistent quality to this episode. Not much stood out as bad, not much stood out as great. An overall decent episode.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Queen Latifah)
a slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Bernie Mac

Posted on

April 8, 2000 – Christopher Walken / Christina Aguilera (S25 E16)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

CAPITOL BUILDING
George (DAC) coaches son George W. (WIF) Bush on how to be evasive

— Dana Carvey!
— I love Will’s Bush repeatedly chanting “I’m a uniter, not a divider”, and Dana’s Bush snapping him out of it my slapping him back and forth.
— I see Dana’s still got it as Bush Sr.
— Bush Sr.’s various tips to Bush Jr. are very funny, and there’s some charming chemistry between Dana and Will.
— Bush Sr.: “Should we send the Gonzalez boy back to Cuba?” Bush Jr.: “I don’t give a rat’s ass.”
— The visual of Bush Jr. sitting on Bush Sr.’s lap kinda reminds me of SNL’s running gag of Dan Quayle doing the same to Bush Sr. back in the early 90s.
STARS: ****½


MONOLOGUE
host sings “Saturday Night Is The Loneliest Night Of The Week” & dances

— I like Christopher’s “I miss this place” line, whether it was intended to get laughs or not.
— Christopher reprises his “crazy make-em-ups” line from the questions-from-the-audience segment in SNL’s 25th Anniversary Special (which he was absolutely hilarious in).
— Here’s our obligatory Walken monologue song-and-dance.
— An overall charming and pretty fun Walken monologue song-and-dance as always, though this one didn’t have anything noteworthy, unlike his last two monologues, one in which he sang lots of fun winter-related songs, and one in which he danced with each female cast member one-by-one and then danced his way to SNL’s backstage area.
STARS: ***½


BEHIND THE MUSIC
cowbell dominates Blue Oyster Cult recording session

 

— Here’s an absolutely legendary and iconic SNL sketch.
— Christopher is playing a perfectly Christopher Walken-esque Bruce Dickinson.
— Bruce Dickinson: “I put my pants on just like the rest of you, one leg at a time. Except, once I put my pants on, I make gold records.”
— And there’s the first instance of Will’s cowbell banging. Even in the straightforward, low-key manner he’s doing it this first time, it’s amazing how Will is still able to make it hilarious.
— Bruce Dickinson, in regards to the first track: “I coulda used a little more cowbell.”
— And now we get the absolutely classic turn in the second track, with Will exploring the studio place by going wild while banging the cowbell all over the place, complete with his belly flopping out of his tiny shirt. An extremely memorable visual.
— I love an unhappy Will deliberately slowly playing the cowbell right next to Parnell’s face.
— When trying to deliver the simple line “Quit being so selfish, Gene!”, Jimmy busts out laughing, which leads to Will himself cracking up a bit. After this happens, it’s quite funny watching Jimmy in the background trying his damnedest to get himself back into a straight face during Will’s poignant speech about how important it is for him to play the hell out of the cowbell. When Jimmy finally does regain his composure, he IMMEDIATELY loses it again and ducks his head in laughter when Will’s voice unexpectedly cracks in a funny way while saying “I’d be doing myself a disservice– etc.” (you can hear Horatio bust out laughing off-camera during that part too). One of the very few times you’ll hear me say that a Jimmy Fallon character break actually added to my enjoyment of a sketch.
— Bruce Dickinson: “Guess what?!? I got a fever… and the only prescription… is more cowbell!”
— I love Horatio’s spaced-out look shortly before saying “He speaks for all of us.”
— Bruce Dickinson: “Babies, before we’re done here, ya’ll be wearin’ gold-plated diapers.”
— A great “in memoriam” freeze-frame of Will’s Gene Frenkle at the end, made even better by the fact that he’s not even a real person.
— Overall, such a perfect sketch, in every single way.
STARS: *****


ELIAN, THE CUBAN BOY!
stage adaptation of international custody battle

— A very funny idea of making a stage musical out of the Elian Gonzalez saga.
— Darrell makes his ONLY appearance of these last two episodes as a barely-visible guy in the back of a boat of singing immigrants (you can see him behind Molly in the first above screencap for this sketch). He looks as if he was possibly thrown into this sketch at the last minute, especially given how he’s off on his cue to raise his fist in the air in unison with his scene partners. I didn’t realize until now that he wasn’t in any sketches in the preceding episode, hosted by The Rock.
— Christopher’s Fidel Castro is hilarious, as is the song he’s singing. I remember an old SNL review from this time in 2000 saying Christopher managed to look even creepier than the real Fidel Castro.
— I love Rachel’s cheesy, theatrical portrayal of Elian Gonzalez.
— This is Will’s first time playing Janet Reno in quite a long time. Great to see this back.
— As much as it pains me to say anything negative about this great sketch, we unfortunately get our second of three moments from seasons 25 and 26 in which Will and Kattan kiss each other on the lips for an unnecessary cheap laugh.
— As a whole, a very well-done sketch.
STARS: ****½


THE CONTINENTAL
The Continental gets amorous when a lady arrives to retrieve her mail

— Always glad to see our obligatory Continental sketch.
— Must be some audio problems, as we’re not hearing the usual piano music during the obligatory opening Phil Hartman voice-over.
— Ah, now the piano music has started playing, at the very end of Phil’s voice-over. Not sure if this delay in the piano music would later be fixed in reruns or not.
— Funny mention from The Continental of having a tattoo of two dogs “doing it”.
— The Continental: “You are skittish… like Siberian palomino.”
— We now get The Continental’s very first utterance of “Wowie wow wow wow!”, which would go on to be a well-liked catchphrase of his.
— A very funny part with The Continental being caught slipping a mickey into the woman’s drink.
— The Continental: “Did you see my painting? I got it from Target.”
— A hilarious and memorable part with The Continental being seen staring into the bathroom through the other side of the bathroom mirror while he’s lighting a cigarette.
— I love the part with The Continental getting sprayed by mace, made even funnier by him screaming “WAAAAUUUGGHH!” in response. Freakin’ priceless.
— Ha, the aforementioned mace part has now gotten even funnier with the woman flat-out punching The Continental in the face to get him out of the way of the door.
STARS: *****


VIAGRA
wives sarcastically thank Viagra for restoring husbands’ intumescence

— Very amusing to hear Christopher talk about Viagra in his usual dry manner.
— Tina Fey makes an appearance as the only person I recognize out of all of the non-Walken/Gasteyer couples in this commercial. I’m not 100% sure, but I believe this ends up being her last onscreen SNL appearance before being added to the cast in the following season.
— Good ending visual of Ana flushing Christopher’s Viagra pills down the toilet.
STARS: ***½


JENNY JONES
audience member (host) imparts wisdom to panelists

— Rachel is pretty spot-on in her portrayal of Jenny Jones.
— Jimmy’s performance as a wannabe-black character is hilarious.
— Jimmy, to Molly: “You look like you sewed someone’s ass to your chest!”
— As with the Sally Jessy Raphael parody earlier this season in the Christina Ricci episode, this sketch is a spot-on parody of Jenny Jones’ show.
— Christopher’s various one-liners to the guests, such as “Checkity-check yourself before you wreck yourself” and “Let your freak flag fly”, are coming off priceless being delivered in Christopher’s usual manner.
— Parnell, on how he lost weight: “For a year, I ate only candy necklaces and Pedialyte.”
— Tracy makes his obligatory sole appearance of the whole night. This is getting ridiculous. I cannot remember the last time he appeared in more than one sketch in an episode.
— It’s a very small detail in the sketch, but I’m cracking up at Christopher’s frozen, speechless, somewhat-taken-aback facial expression in the background when Kattan enters as a woman.
— Rachel-as-Jenny-Jones’ ending line about having a crappy local band play the show to commercial is such a dead-on detail in regards to the real Jenny Jones show.
STARS: ***½


WEEKEND UPDATE
Jacob Silj bemoans being afflicted with voice immodulation

— Colin: “As members of the media, we’re required to say the word ‘Elian Gonzalez’ every 10 minutes.”
— I like the News From The Future segment about a 21-year-old Elian Gonzalez in the year 2015.
— I’m getting a kick out of the audience’s somewhat uproarious reaction to a punchline of Colin’s, in which he quotes an infamous bigoted John Rocker rant about “having to take the 7 Train sitting next to some queer with AIDS, some kid with purple hair, a 20-year-old mom with 4 kids, etc.” Since John Rocker’s name wasn’t directly mentioned anywhere in the joke, I’m sure the joke would go over a lot of viewers heads in more recent years, which might make it look like Colin was just randomly saying those bigoted things about passengers of the 7 Train for the hell of it.
— The return of Will’s Jacob Silj character. This seems like kind of a thin character to make recurring, but I know Will is going to manage to always make this character work.
— I like Jacob Silj explaining that some people get voice immodulation disorder from being born two months late and having been exposed to gold dust.
— At the end of this Update, Colin randomly saying “Elian Gonzalez” after his usual sign-off tagline was a nice callback to an earlier bit from the beginning of this Update.
— Overall, better than Colin’s usual Updates, keeping up the great atmosphere of tonight’s episode.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “I Turn To You”


THE CENSUS
census taker (TIM) records apartment dweller’s (host) crazy responses

— An all-time favorite of mine.
— Oddly, this is Tim’s first (and ONLY) appearance all night.
— A perfectly Christopher Walken-esque oddball role for Christopher.
— Just some of my many favorite Christopher Walken lines in this endlessly funny sketch are him counting plants and candy bars as people who live with him, his reveal of his wife being a bobcat, and him saying he has dual citizenship with the United States and Florida.
— Tim is a fantastic straight man here.
— Tim: “Let’s just proceed as if this is going really well.”
— I love the ending with Christopher saying to his off-camera bobcat wife “Again? We just did it!”
STARS: *****


BEAUTY PAGEANT
Sally O’Malley crashes the Miss Greenwood Hills Beauty Pageant

— I like the odd name of Christopher’s character, Brett Lighthorse.
— Cheri, regarding the burn unit of a children’s hospital: “I would just love to see their little red faces light up when they see me!”
— A pretty good laugh from Ana’s passing mention of wanting her baby back from “that miserable drummer”.
— The great atmosphere of tonight’s episode comes to a screeching halt with the appearance of Sally O’Malley. I’ve said enough in earlier reviews about my dislike of this character.
— One thing I’ll say I consistently like about these Sally O’Malley sketches are the hosts, as Danny DeVito, Ben Affleck, and now Christopher Walken have provided enjoyment for me in the Sally O’Malley sketches I’ve covered so far.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “At Last” & “What A Girl Wants”


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— An absolutely fantastic episode. An impressive number of highly-rated sketches, two true classics (Behind The Music, The Census), one of my all-time favorite Continental installments, and Christopher Walken being his usual self. So many things to love here.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (The Rock)
a mild step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Tobey Maguire