May 12, 1984 – Billy Crystal, Mayor Ed Koch, Edwin Newman, Father Guido Sarducci, and Betty Thomas / The Cars (S9 E19)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
Sammy Davis, Jr. (BIC) breakdances & sings with Frank Sinatra (JOP)

       

— Yet another extensive season 9 pre-taped segment that signals the upcoming heavy usage of pre-tapes next season.
— Very funny visual of the limo “driving” backwards from Radio City to NBC.
— LOL at the random 80s breakdancer outside 30 Rock. I also liked Joe-as-Sinatra’s sour response to seeing that: “Look at this crap these crazy kids are into nowadays.”
— That obviously must be a double in Billy Crystal’s place as he’s breakdancing, but the editing made it look pretty convincing.
— An on-camera appearance from Don Pardo!
— I liked Don’s facial reaction to Joe’s Sinatra sending him to get towels.
— I’m enjoying how extensive this whole cold opening feels.
— Fairly fun musical performance from Joe and Billy.
— Nice way of working in “Live from New York…”
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
(no synopsis available)

   

— Heh, Billy’s still removing his Sammy Davis Jr. makeup. I had been wondering during the cold opening how Billy was going to get all that dark makeup off in time for the monologue.
— Very interesting seeing FIVE hosts all on the SNL stage at the same time.
— That’s it? It’s over already? This featured literally nothing. The hosts came out on stage and then we’re told “We’ll be right back” and that was it. This is kinda disappointing, as I was looking forward to seeing what they would do for a monologue with five hosts.
STARS: N/A (not a rateable segment)


SARDUCCI & NELSON
Father Guido Sarducci & Willie Nelson (JIB) join to do an album of duets

 

— Funny pairing.
— Wow, Father Guido Sarducci actually has a really nice singing voice. Who knew?
— What was with the “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers”/”You don’t sing me love songs” mix-up? Seemed like it was a genuine blooper.
— The humor in this sketch seems to be dying down after the main joke has been well established.
— Okay, they won me back over with the ending.
STARS: ***


MAYOR KOCH’S NEIGHBORHOOD
Worthington Clotman says no more “buy my book”

   

— A very funny concept with Ed Koch in place of Mister Robinson.
— I was surprised to hear an on-air acknowledgment of Eddie Murphy’s SNL departure.
— LOL at Koch’s attempt at doing the “Mister Robinson surprised face” close-up bit.
— Interesting seeing Tim’s Worthington Clotman outside of Saturday Night News.
— Kind of a weird ending, but the sketch as a whole still worked.
STARS: ***½


MIKKO’S GOT YOUR NOSE SAFETY GUARD
prevents accidental child rhinoplasty

    

— Julia’s skin looks darker than usual for some reason.
— Actually, so does Joe’s.
— Hilarious sudden sight gag with Julia’s face projectile bleeding after Joe unintentionally pulls off her nose.
— I love Joe’s panicking when he finally realizes he has Julia’s severed nose in his hand. This sketch is hilarious.
— A great “How many times has THIS happened to you?” from Brad as the spokesperson.
— Overall, one of the great gory projectile-bleeding sketches in SNL history.
STARS: ****


GUIDO ON THE STREET
Father Guido Sarducci asks various questions to Manhattan commuters

   

— I like the part with one guy telling Sarducci the four ways to skin a cat.
— If you know me, you’ll know that I love how Sarducci’s now asking a Three Stooges question.
— I’m enjoying the fast pacing of this as well as Sarducci’s absurd questions.
— Good ending with him hitching a ride in the backseat of a police car.
STARS: ***


NEEDLEMAN
nerdy oral surgeon’s (GAK) dating service tape is music video-like

       

— “Video date?” Oh, I think this is going to be to the Needleman video that I’ve always been dying to see.
— Jim’s creepy video was pretty funny.
— Yep, here comes Gary as Ira Needleman. It’ll be interesting to see how his normal-so-far intro will transition into the famous music video.
— Yes! Here’s his music video! This is ALREADY coming off awesome so far.
— The “spit” part with the female dancers was hilarious.
— I’m loving the sudden slow tempo change when Needleman is listing off his likes and what he wants in a girl.
— Man, they are going ALL OUT out for this.
— Overall, this did not let me down. This was just as fantastic as legend had me expecting, and featured a phenomenal job by Gary. And much like “Look At Our Video” from a few episodes ago, this is another example of this season doing a very dead-on, detailed parody of then-contemporary music videos.
— Gary would go on to credit this piece as being the thing that got him a third season on SNL. I believe he said if it weren’t for this sketch, he most likely would’ve gotten fired after this season like he originally did after his first season (before Brad Hall stood up for him and convinced Ebersol to immediately re-hire him).
STARS: *****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Drive”


SATURDAY NIGHT NEWS
Dr. Ruth Westheimer (MAG) says she learned all about sex from her mother
Dr. Jack Badofsky lists medical disorders named after celebrities
Fernando is miffed because he thought he would anchor the news

       

— Edwin Newman does the SNL news once again.
— First time we’ve seen Mary’s Dr. Ruth in quite a while.
— Didn’t care too much for the sight gag of Dr. Ruth’s mother being so short that she can’t be seen over the desk.
— Mary’s overall Mother’s Day commentary was okay.
— Edwin’s delivery seems unusually slow tonight, even moreso than it usually is. I’m not liking it as much as I liked his delivery when he hosted earlier this season.
— Funny delay with the beginning of Tim’s commentary while he’s seen still applying his clip-on microphone.
— It took Tim a while to get into character before speaking, thanks to the aforementioned delay.
— Here’s our last-ever Dr. Jack Badofsky commentary.
— LOL at the negative audience reaction to the “Syphyllis Schlafly” pun.
— And that’s the official end for Dr. Jack. Tonight’s appearance was fine, though no particular puns here stood out to me and I was a little disappointed we didn’t get the usual great ad-lib out of Tim at any point during this.
— Here’s Fernando making yet another Saturday Night News appearance this season.
— Boy, Billy has really been running the “You look mahvelous” catchphrase in the ground these last few episodes. I don’t like how he always has to spend the first 30 seconds of his Fernando appearances just going on and on about how the audience and whoever is next to him “look mahvelous”. It’s not a good sign when I’ve ALREADY gotten tired of that catchphrase before we’ve even reached Billy’s stint as a cast member in season 10.
— Edwin charming his way into convincing Fernando to let him continue doing the news tonight was fairly funny.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Magic”


HELLO, TRUDY!
Edwin nearly jeopardizes the show’s future

   

— The return of this solid sketch from earlier this season. As I said last time, I’m a little wary over how this will turn out as a recurring sketch, since it doesn’t seem like the type of premise that will lend itself well to repetition.
— I liked Edwin’s “Oh, brother…” when Trudy calls a second time.
— Funny how Trudy is making a reluctant Jim do increasingly ridiculous things to Edwin.
— Surprising turn with Trudy angrily quitting as a viewer of this show.
— Oh, Jim eventually won her back over.
— Jim pushing Edwin away just as he was about to give Trudy advice was pretty funny.
— Overall, this second installment of “Hello, Trudy” surprisingly worked. I’m glad they didn’t just repeat the exact same premise from the first installment of this sketch, and Edwin made for a really good foil here.
STARS: ***½


JOEL HODGSON
Joel Hodgson [real] plays Mystery Date with audience & uses the Levitron

       

— During her intro, Betty Thomas (in her first non-monologue appearance of the whole night, by the way) noticeably announces Joel Hodgson as “Joel Hodges”.
— The “Mystery Date” part seems a little weird, especially the jingle Joel’s singing, which the audience is giving immediate recognition laughter to. It must be parodying something I’m not familiar with.
— A good laugh from Joel sending the Mystery Date-losing audience member away bowling.
— What’s with the random repeated buzzer sound throughout this?
— Oh, I see, the buzzer is reminding him to eat a Pez. Funny running bit.
— Amusing reveal of how he did the “Levitron” trick.
— Haha, oh my god at the bit with him demonstrating the insane costume invention he made involving snakes-in-a-can.
— Overall, an okay Joel Hodgson appearance (his final one on SNL, I believe), though this was slower-paced than usual. I prefer the tighter pacing of some of his earlier appearances.
STARS: ***


KARATE SCHOOL
the Three Stooges (GAK), (JOP), (TIK) teach a women’s self-defense class

     

— Sad that Betty Thomas is just NOW making her first actual sketch appearance of the night.
— A Three Stooges sketch!!! Oh, you KNOW I’m going crazy over this.
— Weird seeing “Moe” being so much shorter than his fellow Stooges.
— As always, great Curly impression from Joe.
— Tim and Gary are also doing pretty well in their impressions.
— This is an absolutely dead-on parody of the Stooges so far.
— Ha, Joe’s pants accidentally fell down!!! Hilarious blooper.
— And now the pants fell down again!
— Love how all the performers (especially the female cast members) have lost their composure due to the aforementioned blooper.
— Great ending with the ladies imitating the Stooges’ mannerisms and chasing them around the room while the Stooges’ theme music “Listen to the Mockingbird” plays.
— Overall, I loved this sketch, probably more than most people do. I’m biased because this really appealed to me as a Stooges fanatic, and had a classic blooper to boot.
STARS: ****


GOODNIGHTS

 


IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS:
— A pretty strong season-ender. We got some great sketches tonight, nothing flopped too badly at all, and the novelty of having five hosts gave the show an exciting feel. Part of me wishes this experiment with having a season finale be hosted by five different people who hosted earlier in the season was occasionally done again in some of the later years, though I can kinda understand why they kept it a one-time thing.

— My copy of this episode is missing a sketch at the end of the show called “Sushi Restaurant”, which features all five of tonight’s hosts and has something to do with Godzilla terrorizing a Japanese restaurant. Interesting-sounding premise and it would’ve been fun to see how it managed to work all five hosts into one sketch, which sounds like a nice way to end this special season finale.

— Tonight ended up being the final episode for Joe Piscopo, Robin Duke, Brad Hall, and Tim Kazurinsky, which is quite a shake-up for SNL. I know Joe left on his own, and I’m assuming the same goes for Tim.  I know Brad was fired, and I’m guessing Robin was as well. [ADDENDUM: According to some comments I received, it turns out all four performers were fired, including Joe and Tim. Wow.] Of the four of them, Joe and Tim will be the most missed, as they both played an important part to the show these last few seasons and were very versatile and often reliable. Robin was usually always good, but the problem with her tenure was that she often suffered from being very underused and wasted, which made her come off invisible at times. I had issues with Brad as a performer during his first season-and-a-half, and I figured when he got removed from his anchorperson role on Saturday Night News in the middle of this season that he would have practically nothing left to do for the remainder of the season, as he had never been known to be a standout sketch performer. I was surprised to find out that not only was he not as invisible in the second half of this season as I predicted, but he actually began growing on me more and more during the last few months of the season. The issues I used to have with him were gradually fading away as he was starting to develop into a quietly solid performer. As I said in a recent review, I wonder if that growth would’ve continued had he been brought back next season.

— Season 9 as a whole was a very interesting one. With the show’s megastar Eddie Murphy half-gone for most of the year, you’d think that would spell trouble for the show considering how heavily they used to lean on him to carry the show and how he was the main reason many people tuned into SNL, but the show surprisingly ended up managing to still do well without his dominance this season. (And let’s be honest: even in some of the appearances Eddie DID make this season, he came off kinda complacent and seemed like he was ready to move on from SNL) The addition of Jim Belushi to the cast helped, as he turned out to have a great first year and added a new energy to the show. Another addition that helped this season was new writer Andy Breckman, who added a lot of much-needed creativity to the writing and who’s conceptual, hilarious, premise-driven sketches were usually always a highlight of the show. Yet another interesting thing is how some unique aspects of next season started forming in the last quarter of THIS season: the writing style started to shift quite a bit, we started getting more and more reliance on strong pre-taped pieces, Billy Crystal was getting more and more involved with the show, and the penultimate episode’s musical guest (Spinal Tap) consisted of members who would all either be part of next season’s cast or would host that season at one point. Very intriguing to watch the whole gradual transition from season 9 to season 10.


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Barry Bostwick):
— about the same


HOW THIS SEASON STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (1982-83):
— a step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW:

Season 10 begins, featuring no host. The season will have quite a number of major changes to the show’s general atmosphere and we also get a large influx of new additions to the cast, most of whom are already famous and one of whom is one of the very people who co-hosted tonight’s season finale.

January 14, 1984 – Father Guido Sarducci / Huey Lewis & The News (S9 E9)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
JOP & MAG announce & explain the SNL National Phone-In Democratic Primary

   

— Looks like we’re getting another Larry the Lobster/Andy Kaufman-type vote-in contest.
— A very noticeable cut right after Joe brings up Larry the Lobster. I recall hearing that SNL removed a mention of the Andy Kaufman vote-in, due to the fact that Kaufman passed away before this episode was first rebroadcast.
— A somewhat interesting idea for viewers to call in and vote for their favorite democratic candidate.
— Some pretty funny loose ad-libs between Joe and Mary.
STARS: N/A (not a rateable segment)


MONOLOGUE
host thinks we should worry less about Central America, more about Canada

— The idea of a recurring character hosting the show is very original, even if Father Guido Sarducci is far from my favorite character.
— His Central America/Texas/Maine bit was funny.
— Very funny line from him pointing out how Canada is closer to the United States than Manhattan is to Brooklyn.
— I’m surprised by how much I’m actually laughing at Sarducci in this.
— Good monologue overall.
STARS: ***½


BUCKWHEAT’S GHOST
Buckwheat’s ghost appears when publishers want tell-all book from Alfalfa

   

— I like the idea of this Alfalfa sketch so far.
— Mary’s whimper of “Heelllp!” cracked me up for some reason.
— The ghost of Buckwheat suddenly appears.
— Funny entrance from Gary as Buckwheat’s translator.
— Haha, Gary’s great at doing “Buckwheat speak” when translating the execs’ normal talk into gibberish that Buckwheat can understand.
— They make a passing mention of fellow Little Rascal Darla being dead too. Uh, what? When did she die? Didn’t we just see Julia playing her in Robert Blake’s Little Rascals Reunion monologue a season earlier?
STARS: ***


WHAT’S NEW
Linda Ronstadt (JLD) answers the musical question “What’s New”- not her

— I never knew Julia could sing so well.
— Some funny lyrics so far.
— This is a pretty solid (and harsh) parody of Linda Ronstadt. Something about it feels like a sketch that would’ve appeared during the original era. Maybe I’m reminded of that Barbra Streisand sketch that Laraine Newman once did.
STARS: ***½


COUNTDOWN 84
Jesse Jackson is the number one vote-getter so far; host nominates ZZ Top
Democrats join ZZ Top in “Sharp Dressed Man” video to ensure equal time
Nina Blackwood (JLD) announces that the winner will get a T-shirt

       

— An update on the voting so far. Due to the nature of this particular poll, it takes Joe a long time to go through each of the candidates’ vote totals and and call-in phone number, which is getting a little tiring to watch, though Joe IS throwing in some loose ad-libs here and there.
— Now Joe throws to a commentary from Father Guido Sarducci. So I take it this whole “Countdown 84” thing is also being used as a substitute for Saturday Night News tonight? After all, Brad Hall HAS just gotten fired as anchorperson, so maybe Ebersol didn’t know what to do with Saturday Night News yet, which just goes to show you how un-thought-out his decision to fire Brad mid-season was. You can’t fire an anchorperson mid-season without having a backup anchorperson ready to go.
— Sarducci putting ZZ Top into the vote-in polls is pretty funny.
— Now Sarducci has thrown to a ZZ Top music video. They’re not going to show the ENTIRE music video, are they?
— Okay, they cut the video off after about 30 seconds.
— A montage of the democratic candidates is being played to the ZZ Top song we just heard. This is actually pretty fun and I’m getting some laughs here.
— Now after the video ends, we suddenly get the debut of Julia’s soon-to-become recurring impression of MTV VJ Nina Blackwood.
— Julia’s pretty funny here.
STARS: I guess I can give this one a rating, so… **½


TASTELESS CHOICE
(JOP) is incestuous- times like these are made for Tasteless Choice

 

— Haha, holy hell at Joe’s out-of-nowhere “I’ve been sleeping with our daughter” reveal to his wife (Mary). Hilarious.
— Another big laugh from Mary’s response to Joe’s aforementioned reveal: “I’ll make some coffee.”
— Judging from the background music playing right now, I get the feeling this is going to turn into a coffee commercial.
— I was right.
— Strong sketch overall.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Heart & Soul”


THE MAN WHO LOVED SWIMMIN’
movie shows how host keeps his chastity vow

    

— Robin’s screentime seems to be becoming more and more scarce these last few episodes.  She’s been very invisible lately.
— Pretty funny setting for Sarducci.
— Julia’s very funny in her scene so far. I’m surprised by how many funny things she’s been getting to do tonight in general, considering she’s usually wasted in forgettable straight roles.
— This sketch is getting pretty repetitive.
— Ha, I did love Sarducci immediately jumping back into the pool after silently looking through a National Geographic magazine.
STARS: **½


NICE BOYS DON’T GET GIRLS PREGNANT
Michael Jackson (EDM) says “Nice Boys Don’t Get Girls Pregnant”

 

— Considering how huge Michael Jackson was at the time, I’m surprised by how little SNL has been spoofing him in this era.
— This sketch appears to be in a similar vein to the Poly-Rock sketch from earlier this season (a sketch where Brad played an aging fictional rocker in need of denture glue). They’re even re-using the exact same concert stage and backstage sets that were used in that sketch.
— Like the last time Eddie played Michael Jackson, his impression is disappointingly generic, just doing an unspecific high-pitched voice and portraying him as vaguely gay (which probably comes off strange nowadays). I guess there wasn’t much about Michael’s personality to spoof yet back in this time period.
— Very short sketch overall, and I’m not quite sure the “Nice boys don’t get girls pregnant” twist worked for me. I didn’t really get a laugh from it.
STARS: **


STEVEN WRIGHT
Steven Wright [real] does stand-up involving his unique perspective

— Yes! Great to see Steven Wright again.
— Right off the bat, he’s already making me laugh out loud.
— This overall segment wasn’t quite as strong as his last appearance, which was more consistently funny and tighter, but what DID make me laugh here was fucking hilarious and had me in tears. My favorite one-liners were the bit about everything in his apartment having been stolen and replaced with an exact replica, his random “I’m feelin’ kinda hyper” line, and him thinking the dictionary was a poem for everything.
STARS: ***½


COUNTDOWN 84
ZZ Top has now pulled in front of Jesse Jackson in the voting
host asks people on the street who they would vote for

   

— Oh, turns out we DO get Brad Hall (in his first appearance of the whole night, by the way) in an anchorman-type role tonight after all. Having him anchor one of these “Countdown 84” segments seems to be Ebersol’s way of throwing Brad a bone to keep him from getting too upset over his recent Saturday Night News firing.
— By the way, this is the first time in SNL history where an episode doesn’t have a fake news segment. Ebersol HAS been known to occasionally do away with some of SNL’s traditions, but dumping the fake news segment is pretty drastic.
— The first guy who Sarducci is interviewing seems kinda familiar, but I’m not sure why. (third screencap above)
— Oh, no, I’m hearing another instance of the dreaded “Comedy Network overlapped audio”. You see, as I mentioned in a recent review, whenever these old Comedy Network reruns remove something from a sketch, it often strangely results in a few seconds of the sketch being overlapped with audio of the removed portion. In this particular sketch’s case, when the camera cuts back to Brad in the studio after Father Guido Sarducci’s Man on the Street segment ends, something that Brad said appeared to be removed and you can momentarily hear audio of it while Brad’s speaking. Very sloppy. Who the heck was in charge of these Comedy Network edits anyway?
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “I Want a New Drug”


RIGHT TO VOTE
JOP encourages viewers at home to participate in the democratic process

— Interesting setting for this vote-in update.
— Despite a few comedic lines, this was a pretty straightforward segment overall. Nothing for me to say here.
STARS: N/A (not a rateable segment)


AIRPORT
after host’s flight is delayed, TransEastern employee (JIB) gets friendly

 

— LOL at Sarducci’s violent temper tantrum when finding out his flight has been delayed.
— I had been wondering where Jim was tonight. This is his first appearance of the whole night, very late in the show. The whole “Countdown 84” stuff that’s been eating up a lot of the show seems to have made it hard for most of the cast to get any airtime.
— This sketch seems to be taking a slice-of-life, low-key turn.
— The “I work on tips” ending was kinda weird.
— Overall, this was another sketch tonight that I’m not sure what to think of. I usually enjoy the low-key slice-of-life pieces that SNL does in these older seasons, but I’m not even sure if I liked this particular one or not.
STARS: **½ by default


PHONE-IN RESULTS
Dick Ebersol [real] gives host the tally- ZZ Top wins with 131,384 votes

      

— We get a VERY brief walk-on from Dick Ebersol, making one of his rare on-screen appearances.
— I like how behind Sarducci, we see the cast, Steven Wright, and Huey Lewis each holding a board with one of the candidates’ face on it.
— Speaking of the cast, Eddie is noticeably absent, making this yet another episode this season where we wasn’t there live in the studio.
— The voting results are announced. Predictably, ZZ Top is the winner.  Uh, yay?
STARS: N/A (not a rateable segment)


GOODNIGHTS

  

— A pre-taped segment titled “Shoplifting” is noticeably listed in the scrolling ending credits, even though it was nowhere to be seen tonight. I guess it got cut for time. If “Shoplifting” is what I think it is (a short film with Jim Belushi as a shoplifter sneakily stuffing items from a convenience store into his jacket), it ends up airing in a later episode this season.


IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS:
— An unusual-feeling episode, with the “Countdown 84” vote-in contest absolutely dominating the night (much moreso than the prior Larry the Lobster and Andy Kaufman vote-ins, which didn’t get in the way of their respective episode’s sketches too much). The non-election portions of this episode felt scarce and, as mentioned earlier, we barely saw most of the cast. (Julia Louis-Dreyfus had a rare strong night, though) The fact that there was no fake news segment also added to the odd feeling of the night. There were still a few good non-election segments, though, and the election stuff itself did provide a few fun moments.
— Father Guido Sarducci was a surprisingly decent host and came off more likable and enjoyable than I usually find him.


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Flip Wilson):
— a step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW:

Michael Palin and his mother