Tag: John Malkovich

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December 6, 2008 – John Malkovich / T.I. (S34 E10)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

A MESSAGE FROM THE SECRETARY OF STATE DESIGNATE
Hillary Clinton (AMP) puts a positive spin on becoming Secretary Of State

— Amy makes her return from maternity leave, and memorably begins this cold opening by saying, as Hillary Clinton, after turning her chair towards the camera, “You thought I was gone, didn’t you?!?” A very nice way to welcome Amy back into the show.
— I had gotten so used to SNL without Amy the last few episodes that it feels kinda odd seeing her again, especially knowing that two new women have joined the cast during her maternity leave. It does feel good and special seeing Amy back, though, especially knowing this is the homestretch of her SNL tenure.
— Solid performance from Amy in this.
— Darrell’s Bill Clinton, to us: “You voted for change…but you ain’t never gonna change this (*points to himself and Hillary*).”
— Amy’s Hillary, regarding herself and Bill: “Like the south, vampires, and Britney Spears, we will rise again.”
— There’s something charming and sweet I find about the little touch Amy throws in right after her and Darrell’s LFNY, where Amy ad-libs a kiss onto Darrell’s hand right before the camera cuts to the opening montage.
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
host spoils the mood while reading The Night Before Christmas to children

— Feels so good seeing John Malkovich hosting SNL again. Not only is he one of my favorite actors, but he’s one of my all-time favorite SNL hosts, and his season 19 episode has always been one of my personal favorite SNL episodes ever.
— Impressive how fast we see the SNL crew assembling the Christmas set on the home base stage.
— I love John’s little, sing-songy “Itchy, itchy” when removing his Santa hat. The studio audience has no idea how to react to that.
— Fantastic concept of John telling kids about Christmas in his usual dry, creepy manner.
— I absolutely love John’s asides to the kids throughout the story. I particularly love the non-sequitur “When I was a child, we used to suck on pennies…and it was a delight.”
— Overall, this monologue is a favorite of mine.
STARS: *****


GAS RIGHT
(FRA) silences farts by applying Breathe Right concept to butt

— There’s a “So dumb, it’s funny” charm to this concept, but I’m still kinda meh on it. SNL has gotten better mileage from fart humor at times before.
— Fred’s jovial delivery of his ending line, “They spread your buttcheeks apart!”, made me laugh.
STARS: **½


NEW GIRL
off-putting traits of mostly-sexy Shana (KRW) disenchant her co-workers

— This character of Kristen’s makes her debut.
— An interesting different type of voice from Kristen.
— Kristen’s pulling off her sexy character’s very unsexy actions really well.
— A good Kenan Reacts facial expression (the second-to-last above screencap for this sketch) in response to Kristen-as-Shana’s diarrhea story.
— John is well-cast in the offbeat role as the only person enamored with Shana’s unsexy actions.
— Even the bathroom humor is coming off fine here. Speaking of which, there apparently was originally going to be a fart in this sketch. I recall hearing from someone that one portion of the James Franco-made behind-the-scenes documentary on this episode (which I haven’t seen myself) shows writer Paula Pell intensely studying various fart sound effects when trying to figure out a fart sound effect to put into this Shana sketch. There ends up being no fart in the aired version of this sketch, which is for the best, especially given the fact that this sketch was preceded by a fart-based commercial.
STARS: ***½


COOL OBAMA
unretributive Barack Obama (FRA) keeps it cool regarding political rivals

— Fred’s Barack Obama voice sounds deeper and more accurate than usual tonight. Some online SNL fans have speculated that SNL may have used a vocal modifier in this pre-tape to make Fred’s voice sound deeper. If that’s true, it’s too bad SNL doesn’t use that vocal modifier in the subsequent live appearances that Fred’s Obama makes.
— An interesting piece, and a different use of Fred’s Obama.
— This is well-shot, and I like the 1960s-like graphics, especially during Fred-as-Obama’s jazz-like, sing-songy spiels about how he “keeps it cool”.
STARS: ***½


LA RIVISTA DELLA TELEVISIONE CON VINNY VEDECCI
Vinny Vedecci & son (BOM) interview host

— I really could’ve done without the return of a staple these Vinny Vedecci sketches always begin with, in which the interviewee has a very taken-aback reaction to Vedecci starting the interview by speaking to them in Italian, then the interviewee explains to Vedecci that they don’t speak Italian, leading to Vedecci arguing in Italian with Fred’s character (though I do like how John Malkovich gets involved in the arguing tonight). It is SO tiring and unnecessary how almost every Vinny Vedecci sketch begins that way. They actually refrained from doing that in the Shia LaBeouf installment of this sketch, so I don’t understand why they returned to it tonight.
— I absolute LOVE the vocal Malkovich impression that Bill’s Vedecci is now doing. Absolutely SPOT-ON.
— The “Being Vinny Vedecci” porno clip is hilarious.
— The debut of Bobby as Vinny Vedecci’s son.
— A big laugh from Vedecci stopping his son’s crying by inappropriately giving him a cigarette.
STARS: ****


VIRGANIA HORSEN’S PONY EXPRESS
Virgania Horsen’s Pony Express is an equine-based custom delivery service

— Odd how this second Virgania Horsen ad opens with the “An SNL Digital Short” title screen, when the first Virgania Horsen ad from the preceding season didn’t open with that.
— Like last time, I’m loving all of the Tim & Eric-esque low-budget awkwardness in this.
— “Stermp” (a variation of stamp) sounds like something another Kristen Wiig recurring character, Target Lady, would say.
— When Virgania Horsen is interacting with male characters played by herself, I’m getting laughs from the awkward flirtatious(?) looks Horsen gives into the camera as both herself and the male characters she’s playing.
STARS: ****


CALCULATOR
getting a calculator for Christmas fulfills twins’ (FRA) & (host) wishes

— I recall some online SNL fans pinpointing this as one of the earliest examples of the huge decline Fred takes in his later seasons. While this is definitely a dumb and questionable sketch, and I can understand why it’s disliked among some SNL fans, I’ve personally always had a soft spot for it. Part of the reason is because I love seeing John Malkovich do something as silly as this sketch, and I like this pairing of him and Fred as these offbeat characters.
— Turns out John is just as fun in this role as I had remembered.
— There’s a dumb likable charm I’m finding to this whole sketch. That’s the best defense of this sketch I can give to anybody who dislikes this sketch.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Whatever You Like”


WEEKEND UPDATE
wounded Plaxico Burress (KET) fails to heed his own gun ownership tips

Boy George (FRA) sees nothing wrong with his treatment of gay prostitutes

9-year-old (ANS) offers manipulative & cynical advice on talking to girls

— Similar to what I said in the cold opening, I had gotten so used to Weekend Update without Amy that it feels a little odd seeing her back at the desk.
— Pretty funny gun tips from Kenan as Plaxico Burress.
— I’m enjoying the voice and accent Fred’s using as Boy George.
— What’s with the smiling/giggling reactions Fred keeps giving Seth throughout this commentary? Even Seth looks taken aback by it.
— This Boy George commentary isn’t doing it for me. It’s pretty much a pointless, rambling mess. I think we’re seeing another early example of SNL giving Fred free rein to go on the air and waste airtime by doing whatever the hell stretched-out thing wants.
— Amy’s jokes seem a little better than usual tonight, but maybe it just seems that way to me because I perhaps subconsciously missed her presence during her hiatus (which, if so, is kinda odd, given the fact that I’m usually not crazy about her as an Update anchor). Between how refreshing I found Amy’s presence in the cold opening earlier tonight and now this, I guess this is a case of absence making the heart grow fonder. I also wonder if it’s because, in hindsight, I consider Amy to be the last pillar of stability before the female cast really falls apart as Wiig Mania hits full swing, with Kristen being utilized more than ever, a lot of particularly badly-written Wiig characters making their debut (e.g. the “Thomas!” lady), and Kristen’s female castmates infamously being sidelined on a frequent basis in favor of her.
— A lot of good laughs from the inappropriate advice Andy’s little boy character is giving about talking to girls. I particularly love the “cat on your fat” double entendre.
— I love how the audience initially has no idea how to react to Seth’s joke about White House staff members “putting their nuts on the Bush family’s toothbrushes”.
STARS: ***½


THE LOST WORKS OF JUDY BLUME
preteen Gertie (host) undergoes unnatural body changes in Judy Blume book

— Kenan’s singing of the “Lost Works of Judy Blume” theme song is making me laugh.
— I’m usually very iffy on men-in-drag humor in more recent SNL eras like this one, but the visual of John dressed like this in a “tender” Judy Blume spoof is very funny. His portrayal of this character is also helping to prevent it from being hacky like some men-in-drag sketches. And the fact that it’s John Malkovich playing this role gives it a great creepy, unsettling, disturbing tone.
— This is the closest to a noteworthy role Abby has gotten so far in her SNL tenure, and it’s still just a forgettable straight role that doesn’t let her show her comedic chops.
— A good laugh from John-as-Gertie’s description of her first period, which lasted months.
— I’m liking Michaela’s realistic off-put facial reactions to Gertie’s odd actions.
STARS: ****


JIZZ IN MY PANTS
(ANS) & (Jorma Taccone) are premature ejaculators

— A rarity to have two officially-billed Digital Shorts in the same episode. I really like the rare times that happens, though, as it gives the episodes an interesting feel.
— This has always been one of my personal favorite Digital Shorts. I haven’t watched this one in ages, so I’m VERY eager to revisit it right now.
— When this originally aired, I remember how surprising it was seeing Jorma Taccone in a co-starring role. Sure, he and Akiva Schaffer made appearances in bit roles in some previous Lonely Island shorts, but this is the first one to feature either Jorma or Akiva in such a front-and-center main role.
— I absolutely LOVE the melody to the non-chorus parts of this song. It sounds quite “West End Girls”-esque (a Pet Shop Boys song), though I don’t know if that’s intentional.
— Many memorably hilarious bits throughout this song, and I especially like how the jizz-in-pants reactions from Andy and Jorma are provoked by increasingly innocent things.
— A very random Justin Timberlake cameo (for the second episode this season) as a supermarket janitor.
— Very catchy chorus towards the end of the song.
STARS: *****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Swizz Beatz [real] perform “Swing Ya Rag”


J’ACCUZZI
host reprises Dangerous Liaisons role in an onstage hot tub

— An absolutely hilarious random concept.
— Very funny visuals of dramatic Dangerous Liaisons scenes being portrayed so seriously in a hot tub.
— Spot-on casting of Michaela as Glenn Close’s character from Dangerous Liaisons, as Michaela does have a strong facial resemblance to Close.
— I love John’s dialogue in the interstitial pre-taped interview scenes with him.
STARS: ****½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very solid episode. There was a good quality for almost the entire night (even the segment I found to be the weakest, Gas Right, wasn’t too bad), and there were some strong, memorable, and inspired bits. The post-Weekend Update half was particularly great. John Malkovich is now 3-for-3 in hosting SNL episodes that I love. Speaking of John, he was, once again, a great host. It’s criminal that SNL never made him a frequent recurring host. He should be well into the Five Timers Club by now.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Monologue / Jizz In My Pants (tie)
J’accuzzi
La Rivista Della Televisione con Vinny Vedecci
Virgania Horsen’s Pony Express
The Lost Works Of Judy Blume
A Message from the Secretary of State Designate
New Girl
Calculator
Cool Obama
Weekend Update
Gas Right


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Tim McGraw)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Hugh Laurie hosts the Christmas episode. It’s also Amy Poehler’s final episode as a cast member.

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October 23, 1993 – John Malkovich / Billy Joel (S19 E4)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
Phillies spit while Anne Murray (MEH) sings “O, Canada” at World Series

— Some good laughs from the Phillies each crudely taking turns spitting out a small chunk of their tobacco during Anne Murray’s singing.
— Feels kinda weird seeing Phil being cast in this role at this point of his tenure.
— The ending gag gave me a huge laugh. I feel like I shouldn’t like it, since it kinda signals this and next season’s increasing reliance on bad low-brow humor and fluid-spurting gags, but it worked in the structure of this short-and-sweet cold opening.
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
host gets worked up while trying to hit a baseball into the audience

— I love the fake-out on the old “host mentions a recent movie they’re in to receive applause” trope, with John saying “There was a little movie you might’ve seen this summer called Jurassic Park”, which receives confused, scattered applause from the audience, considering John’s not in that movie. John then says “Great movie; I’ve seen it twice.”
— A simple premise, but John is really making this work, especially with his increasing frustration.
— When John is angrily banging the baseballs on the floor with a bat, one of the baseballs accidentally flies up and lands by SNL Band drummer Shawn Pelton, nearly hitting him. Pelton just laughs while moving out of the way of the ball.
STARS: ****


MCINTOSH POST-IT NOTES
use the computer message units once & throw away

— I’ve always found this fake ad baffling. It’s not a particularly funny concept, and that coupled with the fact that the ad is played SO straight and dull makes it feel too much like a real ad. Kinda reminds me of how I’ve always felt about that Michael McKean-starring Virtual Reading fake ad from the following season.
— Yeah, watching this ad again now, my opinion has not really changed. Though I admit to getting a chuckle from the long “warming up” part, as well as the close-up of Farley as a coach giving a cheesy grin and head nod to the camera (the third above screencap for this ad).
— For some reason, the part with Kevin holding up a McIntosh Post-It Note in one hand and regular Post-It Notes in his other hand while comparing the two products would later be removed from all reruns. Does anyone have any idea why? Did SNL get in trouble with the real Post-It Notes company for showing their product without permission or something?
STARS: *½


THE MENENDEZ TRIAL
on witness stand, Erik (ROS) & Lyle (host) Menendez blame their twins

— The first of many Court TV sketches within these next two seasons.
— I got a good laugh from John as one of the Menendez brothers explaining that their parents hid the extra set of two brothers because “they were weak and not good tennis players”, a line made even funnier by that trademark Malkovich delivery.
— So many little things throughout this are cracking me up, such as John’s crying faces and the way he places his hand over his eyes during that crying, and Rob always listening to the lawyers while leaning his head forward with an intensely serious facial expression.
— I like how the alleged extra set of two brothers is clearly just Lyle and Erik having switched places with each other.
— Phil’s “Is that really necessary?” line was solid.
— The extremely long, silent wait for Lyle and Erik to return while the camera holds on a shot of two empty chairs is hilarious.
— I love the awkwardness and subtle panicking when only one of the brothers is sent to go get the extra set of brothers from the bathroom.
— This overall sketch was very slow-paced and repetitive, but it actually worked really well, and so many things in it tickled me.
STARS: ****½


THEATRE STORIES
Charlton Heston (PHH) & Brits talk about porno films

— Surprisingly, this is the first time they’ve done this sketch since season 17. This sketch completely skipped season 18.
— Good to see Julia’s character back after not being in the last Theatre Stories sketch.
— It’s also nice to see this sketch without Dana Carvey’s Mickey Rooney for a change, as his endlessly-repeated “I was the number one staaaarrrrr… etc.” catchphrase actually got old fast to me (as much as it pains me to criticize Dana).
— I like Mike’s character calling Charlton Heston “Charl-intestine”.
— Always fun to see Phil’s Charlton Heston. His line just now about “bananas… bananas… bananas” was very funny with his delivery.
— I’m loving John’s character and delivery.
— Funny running gag with Mike narrating how he’s randomly changing his body postures uncontrollably.
— The various porn stories being told are all worth good laughs.
— Overall, this has always been my favorite installment of this recurring sketch.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “The River of Dreams”


WEEKEND UPDATE
KEN gives a subliminal editorial about Ted Danson’s blackface at roast
John Kruk (CHF) realizes that he was supposed to have been in Toronto

— This is the first in a long time they’ve altered the Update title sequence featuring Kevin’s spinning head, this time showing him in old-timey blackface makeup (screencap below), as an apparent reference to Ted Danson’s infamous blackface stunt at a then-recent Whoopi Goldberg roast.

— I loved Kevin’s two jokes about the cancellation of Chevy Chase’s disastrous talk show, one of the jokes being “By the way, The Chevy Chase Show is still dead”, as a reference to Chevy’s classic Generalissimo Francisco Franco running gag from the original era.
— Uh-oh, here comes yet another subliminal editorial. As I mentioned in my review of the preceding season’s finale, I’ve surprisingly gotten tired of Kevin’s subliminal routine over the course of last season.
— Tonight’s subliminal editorial ended up being okay, but was sadly still a far cry from the days when Kevin’s subliminal routine was in its prime. The best subliminal words in tonight’s commentary were Long Dong Silver and Kevin referring to Montel Williams as “8-ball head”.
— Kevin: “During the World Series, the Philadelphia Phillies have been accused of being unshaven, overweight, long-haired, dumb slobs.” Oh, was THAT the reason behind the cold opening earlier tonight?
— Great facial reaction from Chris as John Kruk when he comes to the realization he’s supposed to be in Toronto for the World Series tonight. This commentary is almost too simple a concept, but Chris is actually selling it well. I wonder if him turning his back to the camera was an ad-lib, since the back of his Phillies jersey is oddly empty (the fifth above screencap for this Weekend Update), as if SNL didn’t bother putting Kruk’s team number on it because they didn’t think the back of his jersey would be shown onscreen.
— The John Kruk commentary ends with him having a disappointed “Should’ve been there” reaction to Kevin’s announcement that Toronto won the World Series tonight (an announcement that initially receives cheers from the studio audience before being drowned out by many boos). According to a dress rehearsal photo on GettyImages (seen here), the dress rehearsal version of this commentary seemingly had a different ending, as the photo shows Chris’ John Kruk standing up with a rowdy look on his face while holding a bottle of champagne (it looks like his head is doused in champagne as well). I’m guessing the dress rehearsal version used an alternate ending where the Phillies were the ones who won the World Series, and Chris’ John Kruk broke out a bottle of champagne to celebrate. SNL must’ve had two different endings written in advance, since they obviously wouldn’t have known which team would win the World Series until the game ended during the live airing of tonight’s episode.
STARS: ***


OF MICE AND MEN
Disney’s version features two Lennies (host) & (CHF)
LOM shoots CHF after the latter breaks JAH’s neck during sketch

— Of Mice and Men is my personal favorite book of all time, and I’ve always loved SNL’s parodies of it from various seasons. I also like how this particular parody is in reference to the Of Mice and Men movie adaptation Malkovich starred in a year earlier.
— A very good and fun premise of George being replaced with a second Lennie.
— I love the sound effect of loud snapping whenever the puppies’ necks are cracked.
— The Lennies’ poor ways of hiding the dead puppies’ bodies are really funny.
— Great how the running neck-snapping gag is now extending to Farley’s Lennie accidentally snapping the neck of Curley’s wife.
— I absolutely love the twist after the sketch ends, with a behind-the-scenes bit where it’s revealed that Chris really did snap Jan’s neck during the sketch.
— Funny implication in Chris’ meta line “I did it again, just like Victoria.”
— Great ending with Lorne pulling a George and shooting Chris in the back of the head while telling him about Hollywood.
STARS: *****


RUINING IT FOR EVERYONE
guests’ actions spurred preventative measures

— An interesting and fairly fun premise.
— I’m enjoying the sketch, but it has an oddly really quiet atmosphere so far, for some reason. Not sure what it is; maybe it’s the audience.
— John is absolutely perfect for this creepy role, and I love his overly calm revelations about killing hitchhikers.
— Funny bit about Rob being the first man to ever bring a woman to orgasm.
— The sketch has been getting funnier as it’s going along.
— Good ending with each guest saying what they plan on ruining next.
— Nice touch at the very end with John asking “Anybody need a lift home?”, though it was almost inaudible.
STARS: ***½


CARVILLE
James Carville (host) urges Hillary Clinton (JAH) to run in 1996

— Feels weird seeing an Oval Office sketch buried this late in the show.
— John continues to knock it out of the park, as he’s perfectly cast as James Carville and is giving a very funny performance in the role.
— I could be looking too much into this, but when talking about daughter Chelsea, Jan-as-Hillary’s emphasized delivery of “She’s a 13-year-old who deserves to be left ALONE!” almost seems to be SNL’s way of saying “See, everyone? We truly ARE sorry for the mean things we said about Chelsea in that Wayne’s World sketch!”
— I loved Carville slyly telling Hillary “I’ll see you in ’96…. minutes!” when Bill’s in the room.
— Very sweet ending with Phil and Jan, and yet another heartwarming display of their wonderful chemistry.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “All About Soul”


IN THE LINE OF FIRE
assassin (host) gets wrong numbers while trying to phone Frank Horrigan

— Another parody of a Malkovich movie, which I’m glad about, as In The Line Of Fire is one of my favorite Malkovich movies.
— The first wrong number reveal is really funny, happening out of nowhere during such a tense scene.
— John’s sudden “I KNOW IT’S ALRIGHT!” angry outburst cracked me up.
— Weird how this is the second out-of-it old lady Julia is playing tonight.
— A good laugh from John accidentally calling Julia’s old lady back immediately after hanging up on her.
— Priceless part with the kid’s “They killed Kennedy?!? The VJ from MTV?!?” reaction.
— John being put on call waiting right after finally reaching Frank Horrigan is very funny.
— The ending would later be altered in reruns. In the live version I’m currently watching, after John shoots himself in the foot (a gag ruined by a technical error where the screen took too long to cut to an exterior shot of the building), he calls 911, asks them for an ambulance, and that’s the end of the sketch. Reruns improve on this ending by adding in audio of Julia’s old lady character yelling “Hello?!? Hello?!?” on the other end of the phone after John asks 911 for an ambulance.
— Speaking of the ending, I wonder if whoever wrote this sketch would later write the recurring Zagat’s sketches from the following season, because much like John’s character at the end of this sketch, the first Zagat’s sketch ends with Adam’s character accidentally shooting himself in the foot off-camera (“MY FOOT!”).
STARS: ****½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— And thus ends what’s always been one of my personal favorite episodes of all time. Unlike the last episode I reviewed that I called one of my personal all-time favorites (Christopher Walken/Arrested Development, which coincidentally originally aired on the same Saturday as tonight’s episode an exact year earlier), it’s a little hard to justify why tonight’s episode is one of my favorites. To a lot of SNL fans, I assume this is just a solid-but-not-classic episode (if I’m wrong about that assumption, I apologize). And even having just watched and reviewed the episode right now, I see that there were barely any sketches that I consider a five-star classic. But to me, this episode has always held a VERY special place in my heart. I just love so many things about it as a whole, including the feel and flow of it. Part of my bias towards this episode may be due to both the fact that I first saw it in a Comedy Central rerun during my very early SNL fandom days, where it left a huge impression on me (so much so, that anytime I noticed Comedy Central was airing the episode again, I’d go wild), and the fact that I’m a fan of a lot of John Malkovich’s work and always love when he hosts SNL (why he’s only hosted three times, I’ll never know). And after watching and reviewing the episode just now, I also feel that, unlike the preceding episodes of this season, nothing in this episode was hampered by early signs of the doom that awaits both this and next season (besides maybe the McIntosh Post-It Notes commercial, but that was short and harmless enough).


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jeff Goldblum)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Christian Slater

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January 21, 1989 – John Malkovich / Anita Baker (S14 E10)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
Ronald Reagan (PHH) interrupts George Bush’s (DAC) Super Bowl XXIII call

— We’ve officially arrived at a new presidency during SNL’s timeline.
— Pretty funny with Bush’s phone call getting interrupted by the now-former President Reagan.
— I like Reagan repeating the same corny “We could use your players on Capitol Hill” joke that Bush already told earlier.
— Reagan’s confused stammering is making me laugh, due to Phil’s delivery.
— Reagan, on why he should be the president to call the Super Bowl winners: “I guess I thought that since I was president during the SEASON and the playoffs, I was supposed to…”
STARS: ***


OPENING MONTAGE
— Mike Myers is added to the cast as a featured player.


MONOLOGUE
(no synopsis available)

— Malkovich: “I’m John Malkovich, and these are my own clothes.”
— I got a big laugh from him randomly mentioning that his hometown of Benton, Illinois is right by a place where there was a big murder in a trailer park a few years earlier.
— Some really good laughs from the recollections of his grandmother’s criticism of his film work. I especially liked the part about her telling him “You need a wig like Pavarotti.”
— I’m absolutely loving Malkovich’s dry delivery in this monologue.
— Another great dryly-delivered line, this time regarding how Empire Of The Sun was directed by “the Jewish boy” Stephen Spielberg.
STARS: ****


FIRST CITIWIDE CHANGE BANK
— Rerun


BARBARA & NANCY
Barbara Bush (PHH) tries to get Nancy Reagan (JAH) out of the White House

— I like this premise of a meeting between the about-to-be-former first lady and about-to-be-current first lady.
— A good laugh from Barbara’s friendly-but-eager delivery of “When does your plane leave?” to Nancy.
— Some great humor out of Nancy’s desperation in staying and Barbara’s desperation in getting Nancy the hell out.
— Classic visual of Nancy having to be literally dragged out of the room as she grabs on to everything she can.
— The first time I ever saw this sketch, in (I think) Phil’s “Best Of” special back when I wasn’t too familiar with this SNL era, it was the first time I started to take notice of Jan. As the sketch ended, I remember wondering who the woman was who gave that great performance as Nancy Reagan. Though as much as I remember liking Jan’s performance in this, that’s not what turned me into a fan of hers. That wouldn’t happen until sometime later on when I saw a Comedy Central airing of the Alec Baldwin episode from season 15. If you’re familiar with that episode, you’ll understand why it turned me into a Jan Hooks fan. I’ll go into a little more detail when we reach that episode.
STARS: ****½


FIRST CITIWIDE CHANGE BANK
— Another rerun.
— After laughing hysterically at Part 1 of this ad earlier tonight, tonight’s audience is oddly dead silent during this one. What’s up with that?


ATTITUDES
an interview with driftwood sculptor Len Tukwilla (host)

— I’m enjoying how late 80s the look and feel of this whole sketch is.
— Great characterizations from Jan and Nora here. Lots of funny little touches in their performances.
— Love the name Len Tukwilla. It’s funny little details like that that help make this sketch so fantastic.
— Malkovich’s explanation of how he sculpts squirrels nests is really funny, as is Jan and Nora’s attempts to make their mundane questions to him seem so exciting.
— Malkovich: “It’s a very, very painstaking process; it doesn’t just happen overnight… unless you work on it all night long.”
— I’m loving how Malkovich is now giving so many blunt “no” answers to most of Jan and Nora’s questions.
STARS: ****½


GARY BUSEY MOTORCYCLE HELMETS
Gary Busey’s (PHH) motorcycle helmets have their own protection devices

— Pretty funny Busey impression from Phil.
— Decent gag with the increasingly oversized helmet protectors.
— Good ending visual of Phil’s Busey riding the motorcycle while trying not to tip over due to his big helmet.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest sings “Giving You The Best That I Got”


YOU MOCK ME
Lord Edmund (host) lets it be known- he will not be mocked

— The close-up of Malkovich silently turning his deadpan face towards Jan and then uttering his first “You mock me” tickled the hell out of me. Maybe it’s because I know what’s coming.
— Love Malkovich running to the door after Jan has exited from it, just to yell at her “AND I WILL NOT BE MOCKED!!!”
— Lovitz and Dana’s foppish mocking gestures behind Malkovich’s back are freakin’ priceless.
— Mike Myers makes his debut! It feels very exciting seeing a new cast member at this point, for the same reason it felt exciting for me to cover Bill Murray and Harry Shearer’s respective debuts when I reviewed the original era: when you watch/review SNL episodes in chronological order on a daily basis and get very used to a steady, unchanging cast, it feels both unusual and refreshing seeing somebody new being added to your familiar cast. That’s one of the many reasons I started this SNL project of mine: I knew it would be exciting to experience SNL’s evolutionary changes while going through their timeline daily.
— Fitting that Mike Myers is doing an English accent in his very first appearance, considering we’re going to be hearing that type of accent (as well as other U.K. accents) a lot from him throughout his SNL tenure.
— On paper, this sketch may come off repetitive, but the performances are selling the hell out of the material, and are elevating it to a hilarious, very memorable piece.
— Lovitz and Dana are particularly hilarious at the end of the sketch with their extended, over-the-top imitations of Malkovich’s character. I also love how that’s accompanied by the camera slowly zooming in on an unamused Malkovich just watching them while having a stone-faced expression.
STARS: *****


WEEKEND UPDATE
Sandra Day O’Connor (JAH) swears in Dan Quayle (DAC) syllable-by-syllable
DEM narrates a retrospective consisting of ho-hum photos of Ronald Reagan
AWB disapproves of the overspending on George Bush’s inauguration

 

— Pretty funny sequence with Dana as Dan Quayle being sworn in, especially when it gets to the point where Jan tries to make it easier on him by having him repeat the oath one word at a time (there’s also some really funny stock footage cutaways accompanying that part).
— While not all that funny, the retrospective of Reagan’s presidency was actually strangely touching in a way.
— I liked the callback to Dennis’ Bucketman joke from the last Update.
— A. Whitney, on Bush’s inauguration: “There were eleven inaugural balls. Now, some people would say that’s a little excessive. But, you know, it TAKES a lot of balls to throw a 30 million dollar celebration before you’ve even done anything.”
— A. Whitney, on the 200th anniversary of the presidency: “We’ve gone from ‘I cannot tell a lie’ to ‘I cannot tell’.”
— Dennis’ jokes have been more hit-and-miss than usual. He’s leaning awfully heavy on corny photo-based jokes tonight.
— If you know me, you’ll know I got a kick out of Dennis’ random Three Stooges Missile joke.
STARS: ***


CALIFORNIA CONDOR
at a cookout, guys try to put a hurt California condor out of its misery

— I like the bizarre visual of a dying mechanical bird puppet.
— Clever ending with the “California Condor Released Today” headline.
— The randomness of this overall sketch and the use of a mechanical animal puppet makes me wonder if this was a Jack Handey piece.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest sings “Just Because”


JOHNNY CANAL
Johnny Canal (host) tries to sell James Monroe (PHH) on waterways

— Wow, I love that theme song.
— Now THIS is undoubtedly a Jack Handey sketch, as this features the very first instance of the “fake sponsors” gag that would go on to be a tradition in some of his sketches. There’s an especially funny sponsor tonight with the Atlantic Puppy Grinding Company (“Maybe it’s evil, but think of the jobs!”).
— Malkovich demonstrating on a map his absurd idea of canals running all over the country is very funny.
— A great, amusing touch with the camera slowly zooming in on Malkovich’s dumbfounded face when Phil is listing off all the flaws in Malkovich’s plan.
— Hilarious repeated gag with Malkovich responding to any question he doesn’t know the answer to by leaping onto the table and lunging at the question-asker with a knife. Part of what makes that so funny is the long pause Malkovich always does before leaping.
— I like Malkovich’s asinine explanation of how he got the name Johnny Canal.
— In the rerun version I’m watching, the audience applauds during the ending bit with Malkovich lunging at Phil with a knife. I’m thinking that must be canned applause, because I swear I remember once seeing a copy of the live version of this sketch where, IIRC, that ending bit with Malkovich lunging at Phil with a knife played to DEAD SILENCE from the audience, which, to be honest, actually made it even funnier to me in an odd way.
— I absolutely loved this overall sketch.
STARS: ****½


TALK RADIO
deejay Tony Trailer (KEN) talks annoyingly over radio station’s music

— Pretty basic premise, but it’s being executed well, is a funny parody of radio announcers annoyingly talking over songs, and is one of the types of roles that’s right in Kevin’s wheelhouse.
— I liked Lovitz as the aggressive caller asking Kevin to shut up while his favorite song (Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World”) is playing.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

— Malkovich: “I never thought I’d get to work with Jon Lovitz… and I hope I never will again. The man is a pig… and a menace.”

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Fantastic episode. I loved almost everything in it. So many strong, memorable sketches, and nothing fell flat for me. John Malkovich was excellent tonight (even his goodnights speech was funny, as seen in the above quote) and he would go on to become one of my favorite semi-recurring hosts (his 1993 hosting stint in particular has always been one of my personal favorite episodes of all-time).


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Melanie Griffith)
a big step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Tony Danza