Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
REPUBLICAN CONGRESSIONAL LEADERSHIP MEETING
John Boehner (DAA) & fellow GOP lawmakers misread the political landscape
— This cold opening immediately opens on a random Dan Aykroyd cameo as John Boehner. Reportedly, Dan was thrown into this role after dress rehearsal, because a dress rehearsal sketch he was in (a Jeff Montgomery sketch) didn’t make it to the live show. (Not sure if there were any other cut-after-dress sketches that Dan was in for this episode.) I think I recall hearing host Alec Baldwin played Boehner in the dress rehearsal version of this.
— Some good laughs from the republicans’ overconfidence in how “well” they’re doing and how “badly” President Obama is doing.
— I like Jason getting VERY worked up over Andy’s mere opinion that Sean Hannity is as smart as Rush Limbaugh.
STARS: ***
MONOLOGUE
host is upstaged by his 30 Rock co-star Jack McBrayer [real]
— I remember a few online SNL fans back at this time in 2009 were bothered by Alec’s “Thank you, Christian Bale” bit at the beginning of this monologue (in which Alec expresses relief that Christian Bale replaced him as the celebrity infamous for a recorded meltdown that was leaked online), because those SNL fans felt Bale chewing out some crew member (or whoever he was yelling at, I can’t remember) does not compare to how awful it was that Alec harshly berated his own then-pre-teen daughter on a voicemail message.
— I love the look of Fred’s character.
— Pretty funny reveal that Bobby’s character wants Alec to take a picture of him with Jack McBrayer, when Alec initially assumed Bobby wanted a photo of himself and Alec.
— A laugh from Alec’s guilty facial reaction to McBrayer saying he doesn’t want to seem desperate by hosting SNL more than once or twice.
STARS: ***
THE OLDEST JONAS
host tries to convince musical guest that he’s the oldest Jonas brother
— Uh-oh. A sketch opening with just the Jonas Brothers alone, with nobody else onscreen, is very worrisome.
— Thankfully, Alec has shown up. Not too crazy, though, about this premise of him playing a Jonas Brother.
— Turns out Alec’s characterization here is pretty funny, but this sketch itself still isn’t doing much for me.
— The bit with the purity ring is decent.
— WTF was with that ending with Alec’s character revealing he’s Alec Baldwin, “but not the Alec Baldwin from 30 Rock”? I just found that baffling and unfunny.
STARS: **
THE COUGAR DEN
cougay (host) has written a book on nabbing younger men
— Amy Poehler’s co-host character from this recurring sketch has been replaced with a new co-host character played by Michaela. I’m sure the intention at this time was to have Michaela’s new character become a regular part of these sketches, but that plan would end up falling through, because 1) this ends up being the final aired installment of this sketch, 2) SNL would attempt an installment of this sketch the following season (I can’t remember which episode), AFTER not just Michaela’s firing, but also Casey’s firing, but the sketch would get cut after dress rehearsal, and 3) that cut-after-dress attempt had Michaela and Casey’s roles replaced with characters played by Abby and, IIRC, then-cast member Jenny Slate (if not the latter, then it was the also-then-cast member Nasim Pedrad). The fact that SNL had to keep frequently replacing the roles of the co-host characters in this recurring sketch in such a short time span perfectly illustrates the unfortunate insane turnover most of SNL’s female cast frequently went through during these Wiig Dominance years. (Another thing that perfectly illustrates that are the Lawrence Welk Show sketches, because the lineup of female cast members who play Dooneese’s sisters changes EVERY DAMN TIME.) Also, it’s very hard for me to picture a 22-year-old Abby Elliott being even REMOTELY believable in the role of a middle-aged cougar.
— With the departure of Amy Poehler, who previously played the leader of the three co-hosts of this recurring sketch, Kristen’s character has now taken over as the leader of the co-hosts. And I guess Casey’s character has now taken Kristen’s character’s former place as the second-in-command.
— Meh at Alec playing a lispy “Cou-gay”.
— Here’s Cameron Diaz making her obligatory Cougar Den appearance. Speaking of which, the aforementioned cut-after-dress-rehearsal installment of this sketch from the following season didn’t have Cameron, IIRC.
— Kristen’s McDonalds story made me laugh.
— In dress rehearsal, Bill, Will, and Andy’s roles were played by the Jonas Brothers. I wonder if the reason SNL recast the roles was because they perhaps felt it was too inappropriate to have them in a sketch with Cameron Diaz’s cougar character “pouncing” on them.
— I hate to say it, but the running bit with Kenan insulting the cougars is getting old for me. And tonight’s Cougar Den installment is relying WAY too heavily on the bug-eyed “Kenan Reacts” cutaway shots each time after he insults the cougars. Between that lame “Issues” sketch from the then-recent Steve Martin episode and now this, SNL is really abusing the “Kenan Reacts” trope lately.
— Has Michaela said a single word in the entire last two-thirds of this sketch? It’s like, after her intro statement when she was introduced at the beginning of this, the writers forgot to write her ANY lines for the remainder of this sketch. It seems as if she’s been sitting there silently almost the entire time.
— Overall, it’s a good thing this ends up being the final aired installment of this sketch. I liked this sketch quite a lot in its first installment, but I’ve come to realize that I don’t care for it as a recurring sketch.
STARS: **
PROPERTY OF THE QUEEN
a 1983 hair band video is ANS’s proof of musical guest’s sorcerous youth
— A good believable 80s look and visual quality to the old music videos of the Jonas Brothers. Can’t say I’m laughing much, though.
— Bill is hilarious as the wizard in the last music video.
— Overall, pretty meh for Lonely Island standards.
STARS: **
SIR MIX-A-LOT’S PHOTO SHOP
Sir Mix-A-Lot’s (KET) Photo Shop enhances butts on customers’ snapshots
— Random premise, but I’m not dismissing it.
— I like Casey’s vocal imitation of the “Oh…mah…gawd” girl from the “Baby Got Back” music video (who always kinda reminded me of SNL’s own Melanie Hutsell, by the way).
— This sketch isn’t all that funny, but Kenan’s energy is fun.
STARS: **½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Tonight”
WEEKEND UPDATE
Oscar Rogers says it’s time to “do it” now that the economy is “fixed”
Angelina Jolie (ABE) is disappointed to find no babies on Weekend Update
snarky blogger Angie Tempura (MIW) hates on celebs with “bitch, pleeze”
uncommunicative Joaquin Phoenix (JAS) now wants to be a stand-up comic
— Kenan’s “Fix It!” character, Oscar Rogers, makes his first and ONLY appearance in a regular SNL episode, but he actually previously appeared in two Weekend Update Thursday specials earlier this season.
— I love Kenan’s pronunciation of his “Do It!” exclamations (sounds like “Duurrr It!”).
— Another random, abrupt walk-on from Abby’s Angelina Jolie, just two episodes after her first one.
— I laughed at Abby’s brief Angelina Jolie bit tonight, but it tread the exact same ground from her previous Update walk-on.
— The debut of the “Bitch, Pleeze” blogger character, Angie Tempura, who Michaela would be most remembered for from her short-lived SNL tenure.
— Michaela’s commentary so far is…….odd. I can’t say it’s working for me so far, despite how much I really want to like it.
— Feels odd seeing a Taraji P. Henson mention on SNL in 2009. I thought she didn’t start to become well-known until years later around 2014/2015, when Empire was the hot new show.
— I guess I get what Michaela’s bit is going for, spoofing then-current bloggers who’s whole thing is snarking on celebrities, but I’m not caring for Michaela’s execution of it, nor her constant exaggerated utterances of “Bitch, pleeze”. I recall this character being well-liked by a lot of online SNL fans back in 2009, including myself, so I’m not sure why this character isn’t working for me anymore 11 years later. I gotta say, between Michaela’s meh Barbara Walters impression in the View sketches and now this, I’ve been disheartened to discover that some of the things Michaela did during her short-lived SNL tenure aren’t anywhere near as good as I had remembered.
— Ha, an appearance from Jason as a heavily-bearded, sunglasses-wearing Joaquin Phoenix, spoofing his infamous then-recent Letterman interview.
— Throughout the Joaquin Phoenix commentary, I love the uncomfortable, drawn-out, awkward gaps of silence (again, accurately spoofing the Letterman interview).
— After Jason’s Phoenix leaves, I like how Seth says in an ad-lib(?) “We need better security out here!”, referring to how both Angelina Jolie AND Joaquin Phoenix abruptly popped up on him on separate occasions tonight.
— Wait, did this overall Update seriously have FOUR separate guests? Very unusual, though Abby’s bit wasn’t an outright commentary as much as it was just a quick walk-on.
STARS: ***
VINCENT PRICE’S VALENTINE’S DAY SPECIAL
romance is elusive on Vincent Price’s (BIH) Valentine’s Day Special
— Good to see this sketch back again, and it seems fitting that it’s appearing in an Alec Baldwin episode, given how reliable he is at emulating the Old Hollywood style.
— Very amusing Carol Channing voice from Kristen.
— Though it’s yet another gay Liberace joke in these Vincent Price sketches, I admit to getting a good laugh from Fred-as-Liberace’s “The fleet shipped out yesterday” response when asked where his valentine is.
— Another gay Liberace joke gave me a laugh just now, with him gleefully responding “Plenty!” when Bill’s Vincent Price asks what’s so great about a strange hand sticking out of a hole. I kinda hate to say it, but I may have to deem the gay Liberace jokes from these Vincent Price sketches to be a guilty pleasure of mine (maybe there’s just something about the fun atmosphere of these Vincent Price sketches that make those gay jokes work better than they would’ve in any other sketch), but we’ll see if I eventually get tired of the gay jokes in subsequent installments of this sketch.
— A huge laugh from Kristen’s Carol Channing sitting on the disembodied hand.
STARS: ****
SCHEDULING
businessmen Carl, Jerry, Troy (host) fail to schedule a meeting time
— Ha, the return of the Fart Face characters, Carl and Jerry. As one of seemingly VERY few people back in 2008/2009 who loved (and still does to this day) the original Fart Face sketch, it’s good to see these characters back. Given how notoriously poorly-received their first sketch was, I’m glad SNL is taking a chance by bringing them back anyway.
— A big laugh from the visual of Will in that ridiculously small toupee on the middle of his head, and him eventually mentioning that it doesn’t give him the coverage he wants.
— I rarely, if ever, criticize Bill Hader, but his delivery of his line about his aunt weighing 400 pounds was very weak, and caused that line to bomb with the audience.
— Another gloryhole reference tonight?
— I love Will constantly saying a gruffly-delivered “Carol, hold my caaaallllss!” throughout this sketch. That line really sticks with you (or at least me) over the years.
— An overall decent sketch, but to me, this paled badly in comparison to the original Fart Face sketch.
STARS: ***
MUSICAL GUEST INTRO
host & nieces Alia & Hailey Baldwin [real] introduce musical guest
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Video Girl”
WII GUYS
(host)’s masturbatory experience makes him an instant Wii expert
— A sketch that sticks in your memory.
— A very juvenile conceit to this sketch, but I’m definitely laughing, and Alec is good at selling dumb humor like this.
— I found the “I’m gonna empty my sack before you do!” line to be particularly funny.
— Amusing turn with Alec suggestively shaking both his and Jason’s Wii controls simultaneously.
— While SNL’s certainly had better “unintentionally dirty” sketches, even just Alec Baldwin-involved ones (Schwetty Balls, anyone?), I’m still enjoying this sketch.
— A good line with Alec saying “Oh, trust me, your mother’s gonna be a natural” in regards to shaking the Wii control.
STARS: ***½
CHEWABLE PAMPERS
Rerun from 1/31/09
VIRGANIA HORSEN’S HOT AIR BALLOON RIDES
WTF? Two repeated ads IN A ROW??? (A commercial break separated these two repeated ads, but still…) This just may be an unprecedented move in SNL history. And this particular repeated ad isn’t even from this season, it’s from the preceding season’s Tina Fey-hosted episode. Not only is it very strange that we’re getting TWO consecutive repeated commercials tonight, but 1) both of these repeated commercials happen to star Kristen, adding further fuel to the “SNL is starting to focus way too heavily on Kristen Wiig” complaints on SNL message boards back then, and 2) this Virgania Horsen bit is an odd choice to rerun, given the fact that it doesn’t follow the structure or format of a traditional pre-taped SNL commercial.
FIRST COUGHS: MASTERING THE ART OF FORESHADOWING YOUR CHARACTER’S DEATH
host’s acting techniques DVD shows how to foreshadow death with a cough
— Decent premise, and Alec is a perfect spokesman for this.
— Great execution from Bill during his bit about reacting to blood he coughs onto a handkerchief.
STARS: ***
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A meh episode for Alec Baldwin standards. The first half of the episode was very mediocre, though there was a boost in quality in the post-Weekend Update half of the show. Even with that boost, though, there was almost nothing all night that stood out as particularly strong.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Vincent Price’s Valentine’s Day Special
Wii Guys
Monologue
First Coughs: Mastering The Art Of Foreshadowing Your Character’s Death
Scheduling
Weekend Update
Republican Congressional Leadership Meeting
Sir Mix-A-Lot’s Photo Shop
Property Of The Queen
The Cougar Den
The Oldest Jonas
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Bradley Cooper)
a step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Dwayne Johnson