Tag: Kelly Clarkson

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January 7, 2012 – Charles Barkley / Kelly Clarkson (S37 E11)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

A MESSAGE FROM RICK SANTORUM
Rick Santorum (ANS) vows to bravely campaign in every county in the USA

— I’m currently two-and-a-half minutes into this, and I’m very bored. The dialogue from Andy’s Rick Santorum is a snoozefest. Typical overly-talky, dry-without-actually-being-funny writing from Jim Downey in his later, past-his-prime years. I don’t know why SNL, in this era, constantly thinks it’s a good idea to open the show with a dull cold opening that deals with one politician dryly speaking straight to the camera, with barely any (if any at all) actual amusing dialogue.
— I also don’t like how Andy changed his portrayal of Santorum. Prior to this, he always portrayed Santorum as panicky. That angle was working much better than the straitlaced, non-comedic way he’s portraying Santorum in tonight’s cold opening.
— A cheap attempt at a laugh with Andy-as-Santorum’s line about San Francisco being home to thousands of “angry pillow-biters and donut-bumpers”, though I know that’s just a dig at the real Rick Santorum’s homophobic views.
STARS: *½


MONOLOGUE
host is endorsing female-skewing brands like Weight Watchers & Ann Taylor

— Charles Barkley noticeably looking more lean here than he usually is in these years, as this is during his Weight Watchers stint, which he eventually mentions in this monologue.
— The usual laughs from Charles’ inherently-funny monotone, deadpan delivery, even with his constant stumbles over words.
— Funny ending with how Charles’ mention that the audience looks like turkey legs to him in his hungry state carries over into the “(insert musical guest’s name here) is here” tagline that SNL monologues typically end with. The monologue from Charles’ season 35 episode also ended with him changing up the usual monologue tagline.
STARS: ***½


CHANTIX
Chantix side effects make smoker (KRW) think about killing husband (BIH)

— A lot of very funny unsettling disclaimers of dangerous side-effects from the Chantix medication. Also some great worried, shifty-eyed looks from Kristen and Bill in response to those disclaimers.
— Good sequence with Kristen displaying each of the symptoms (e.g. droopy lip, Robert DeNiro face) in rapid succession.
— No idea who the woman is that’s doing the voice-over of this commercial (it doesn’t sound like Paula Pell, who’s done a number of voice-overs during these years), but she’s great, and she’s adding a lot to the humor here.
— A great ending tagline to this commercial: “Chantix: Just keep smoking”.
STARS: ****


INSIDE THE NBA
Charles Barkley (KET) & Shaquille O’Neal (host) goof off

 

— The mere visual of Charles as a thick-bearded, stone-faced, emotionless Shaq is hilarious, made even funnier by his simplistic dialogue.
— An accurate and funny spoof of the fun banter that typically occurs on the real Inside The NBA.
— When Charles as Shaq suddenly starts doing a Nostradamus bit, complete with a wizard hat and crystal ball, I love Bill’s Ernie Johnson asking, in an annoyed manner, “Who’s giving him all these props?!?”
— Charles as Shaq, during his Nostradamus bit: “I will predict…that Charles Barkley gonna be fat again.” As we know now, that actually ended up being an accurate prediction.
— Great comeback from Kenan’s Charles Barkley to Charles as Shaq: “Yeah, well, I’d rather be in Free Willy 2 than Kazaam 1.”
— A good laugh from Bill’s Ernie Johnson happily saying, in regards to him and his co-hosts, “We’re all black friends!” I remember someone on the now-defunct saturday-night-live.com message board had a theory that the other performers in this sketch weren’t expecting that line, because it causes them all (including Bill himself eventually) to break.
STARS: ***½


WHITE PEOPLE PROBLEMS
host shakes his head at complaining Caucasians

— A funny unexpected reveal of the “White People Problems” title of the show, after the serious, straitlaced beginning.
— Something about the approach to this sketch’s humor feels kinda cliched, but it’s coming off passable enough.
— Charles: “To those of you at home, ‘awkward’ is a white people word that can be applied to every situation.”
— Charles has some good lines to the WASP-y couple played by Kristen and Taran.
— I didn’t like the ending.
STARS: ***


ESPN BOWL MADNESS
corporate sponsors present oddball college football bowl games on ESPN

— The escalation to the odd brand/bowl name combos is reminiscent of that great Chicken Of The Sea/DynaCorp sketch from the season 29 Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey episode, only nowhere near as clever. This is still decent enough, thanks to the amusing nature of the increasingly random brand/bowl name combos.
STARS: ***


JOANN’S ANNOUNCEMENT
(host)’s fiance (PAB) & friends find it hard to believe she’s a lesbian

— The fact that it’s the inherently-funny-and-deadpan Charles Barkley in drag makes it more tolerable than the typical hacky “man in drag” trope.
— I like the randomness of Charles telling Kristen they’ve known each other for 200 days.
— Even more funny randomness, with Paul suddenly popping up from behind the couch in a casual manner, which none of the characters treat as odd.
— Great to see Paul in the spotlight here.
— The incongruous pairing of the tiny Paul Brittain and the huge Charles Barkley is very amusing.
— The oddball approach this whole sketch is taking is a little hard to figure, even for my oddball humor-loving self, but it’s still working well for me, especially with how all the silliness is being played so straight.
STARS: ***½


CHARLES BARKLEY POST GAME TRANSLATOR APP
host’s translator app reveals coaches’ & players’ true thoughts

— Tonight’s episode continues to get good mileage out of Charles’s inherently-funny personality, as this commercial is a great concept for him.
— I particularly love Charles’ translation for Dwyane Wade’s talk about Miami Heat’s famous “YES. WE. DID.” celebration: “I should shut my damn mouth. We haven’t actually won ANYTHING yet.”
— Good self-deprecating turn with Charles translating an old post-game clip of himself from the 90s.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Stronger”


WEEKEND UPDATE
with her presidential bid ended, Michele Bachmann (KRW) can finally blink

a series of disclaimers precedes Nicholas Fehn’s planned critique of SEM

Drunk Uncle’s chosen New Year’s resolution is to lament cultural change

— Hmm, I strangely have no memory of Kristen ever doing an Update commentary as Michele Bachmann.
— I’m currently about a minute-and-a-half into Kristen’s Bachmann commentary, and yeah, none of this is ringing a bell for me so far. I can see why, though. The material that Kristen’s been given here is a whole lot of nothing. Centering most of an Update commentary on Bachmann being relieved to be able to blink again after her presidential bid is too thin a concept, and Kristen’s execution of it isn’t elevating it for me.
— I did get a laugh just now from Kristen-as-Bachmann’s final line, but otherwise, her overall commentary was pure “Meh”.
— Whoa, Nicholas Fehn making his first appearance in a long time. I forgot all about this character until now. He hasn’t appeared since 2009.
— Blah, even with the long hiatus, it turns out that I’m still burned out on Nicholas Fehn’s same-old same-old shtick, thanks to how quickly SNL previously ran it into the ground with Fehn’s way-too-frequent appearances back in 2008. I’m finding myself not having the ability to even so much as chuckle at Fehn’s typical routine tonight. His typical routine also feels a little out-of-place in a 2012 episode, for some reason.
— Quickly checking SNL Archives right now, I see this ends up being the final Nicholas Fehn appearance. Thank god.
— Drunk Uncle has officially become recurring.
— So far tonight, Drunk Uncle is coming off as hilarious as he did last time.
— Solid little bit regarding Drunk Uncle’s incorrect attempt to light a cigarette.
— I like the little detail of Drunk Uncle calling Seth “Amy” at one point while repeatedly asking him “Pull my finger.”
STARS: ***


LORD WYNDEMERE
Cecil’s girlfriend’s father (JAS) prefers impish frolics to football game

— The second and final appearance of this sketch.
— Paul has gotten TWO big roles tonight, continuing the slow-but-sure progress he’s been showing lately. Unfortunately, that’s very bittersweet in hindsight, given the fact that these end up being Paul’s final two big roles on SNL. He has only one episode remaining (and, IIRC, he has no big roles in it) before he suffers a similar fate to Jeff Richards.
— Good continuity with Jason’s character already being familiar with Lord Wyndemere after having met him in the previous installment of this sketch. Most recurring sketches in this era annoyingly lack this type of continuity, and instead feature stuff like each installment having their straight man characters act like they’ve never been through the oddness they’re experiencing from the lead character, despite the fact that EVERY SINGLE INSTALLMENT of that particular recurring sketch features those exact same straight man characters going through that exact experience (e.g. Andy’s Blizzard Man sketches, Kristen’s Sexy Shana sketches).
— Hilarious visual of Jason playfully chasing Lord Wyndemere around the room in an attempt to pinch his bottom so he’ll tell the riddle he promised.
— A nice change of pace with Charles being just as into Lord Wyndemere’s antics as Jason is, unlike the other straight man characters in this sketch.
— The visual of Charles happily carrying Lord Wyndemere in his arms is both funny and very charming. Tonight’s episode continues to get great mileage out of the huge size difference between Paul and Charles.
— Overall, even better than the first installment of this sketch. This was perfect, and was also a great unintentional swan song for Paul, which leaves us sadly wondering what could’ve been had his SNL tenure continued after the following episode.
STARS: *****


THE 17TH ANNUAL ADULT VIDEO AWARDS
In Memoriam reel at Adult Video Awards honors deceased porn practitioners

— Very funny sleazy line from Bobby’s Ron Jeremy about measuring “from the nuts”.
— The In Memoriam porn montage is getting increasingly hilarious, with great bits such as a photo of Seth(!) as a glory hole designer, a chronological video montage showing Nasim as a long-time pornstar working in porn from when she was young to when she was very elderly, a photo of a frowning Kenan as a clean-up crew member, and the whole porn scene with Charles in the woods (his facial expressions are priceless).
STARS: ****


CONVOLUTED JERRY
Convoluted Jerry’s (ANS) album contains songs with complicated syntax

— Boy, this short is just plain BAD so far, making this yet another example of how the magic of the Digital Shorts is sadly gone this season (with a few exceptions, of course) with the lack of involvement from Jorma and/or Akiva.
— Not even the Inception part (“It was a dream inside a dream inside a dream!”) could get a laugh out of me.
— Marvin “Gay” Jackson. I hate myself for chuckling at that name, but hey, at least SOMETHING in this short finally got a chuckle out of me.
— Leave it to Charles Barkley to provide what I consider to be the only actual legitimately funny moment of this entire short: him responding to Andy’s ghetto-glorifying song by asking him a taken-aback “Maaan, what the f(*bleep*)k are you talkin’ about?!?”
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Mr. Know It All”


THE MAYAN CALENDAR
Mayan chief (host) takes issue with work of calendar makers (FRA) & (BIH)

— I like how the first SNL episode of the year 2012 is doing a historical sketch based on the Mayan calendar, given the well-known ancient Mayan apocalypse prediction.
— The humor here so far is rather mild, but there are some laughs from the low-key comedy. There’s a bit too much of a dead atmosphere to this, though.
— Didn’t care too much for the “talking calendar” ending, but I kinda liked the wiseass voice Paul used as the talking calendar.
STARS: **½


GOODNIGHTS

— A very classy, sweet, and amusing way that Charles gives the SNL cast their props for all their hard work.

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A mostly good episode. The quality ranged from decent to great for almost the entire show, minus the dull-as-hell cold opening and the drop in quality during the last 15 minutes. Charles Barkley continues to be a strangely reliable host, and by this point, the show seems to have fully realized all the right ways to utilize his distinct personality. I like how it seemed to be becoming a tradition around this time for Charles to host the first episode of a calendar year every two years (2010, 2012). Unfortunately, that tradition stops after this episode, and we don’t see Charles host again until years later in a March episode from 2018 (and, for some reason, I’m having a very hard time remembering most of that episode’s content, but that might be because, back at that time in early 2018, I was growing increasingly checked-out during my viewing of new SNL episodes, due to my dissatisfaction with SNL’s then-current quality, which would eventually lead me to flat-out go on a hiatus from watching new episodes starting in December of that year, a hiatus that’s still ongoing.)


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Lord Wyndemere
Chantix
The 17th Annual Adult Video Awards
Charles Barkley Post Game Translator App
Inside The NBA
Monologue
Joann’s Announcement
ESPN Bowl Madness
White People Problems
Weekend Update
The Mayan Calendar
Convoluted Jerry
A Message From Rick Santorum


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jimmy Fallon)
a mild step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Daniel Radcliffe hosts. It’s also the abrupt end of Paul Brittain’s SNL tenure, after only one-and-a-half seasons as a featured player.

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March 14, 2009 – Tracy Morgan / Kelly Clarkson (S34 E18)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

TRACY RETURNS
TRM punches his way through Rockefeller Center; John Cena & TIF cameos

— Ooh, I love this huge change of pace for a cold opening in this era, and this is a great way to open a Tracy Morgan-hosted episode.
— Tracy’s serious opening speech about the excitement of Rockefeller Center is amusing in the way that only Tracy could make it.
— Funny interaction between Tracy and the security guard played by writer Emily Spivey.
— All of the punches delivered by Tracy are cracking me up, made funnier by the way this is filmed, with all the extreme close-ups, fast cuts, and slow-motion shots.
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
TRM sees media bias in coverage of fishtank fire at his residence

— I remember how exciting it felt in 2009 seeing Tracy host. If you told me 10 years prior to that, during the peak of SNL’s under-utilization of Tracy as a cast member, that Tracy would ever be hosting SNL, I’d NEVER have believed you. He’s come a long way since those days.
— Already a good laugh from Tracy’s opening line: “Thank you, white people!”
— Good line from Tracy about how, tonight, he’s in more sketches than he ever was during his years as a cast member.
— A lot of the usual funny Tracy Morgan-ish oddball lines.
— Hilarious fake-out with the “Lorne Michaels” who Tracy brings up onstage turning out to be some stage manager. Speaking of the stage manager (the fourth-to-last above screencap for this monologue), I think he’s played by the same actor who played Angel on The Rockford Files. If so, that is VERY random casting on SNL’s part.
— Speaking of random, we get a random Seth Meyers sighting next to the real Lorne. This is the second consecutive episode in which Seth makes a rare non-Weekend Update appearance (or voice-over, in the preceding episode’s case).
— There’s our obligatory “Bring me a soda, BITCH!” during Tracy’s interaction with Lorne.
STARS: ****


CHEWABLE PAMPERS
— Another rerun of this commercial, from 1/31/09. Boy, am I sick of seeing this commercial being aired so frequently in such a short time span.


BRIAN FELLOW’S SAFARI PLANET
a baby cow is perceived to be arrogant

— Our obligatory appearance of one of Tracy’s two biggest recurring characters.
— An interesting novelty seeing then-current cast members appearing in an old recurring sketch like this, which is always one of the fun things when a former cast member’s recurring sketches are brought back when said former cast member hosts (such as seeing current cast members appear in Church Chat sketches whenever Dana Carvey hosts or, in some cases, cameos).
— Brian Fellow is getting the usual good laughs hitting his usual beats.
STARS: ***½


THE VIEW
scatterbrained Sherri Shepherd (TRM) is uniformly uninformed

— Given the fact that Tracy had a regular role (Star Jones) in the original (and far superior) run of The View parodies back in the late 90s, it feels kinda odd seeing him in tonight’s View sketch playing a different role. That just makes tonight’s View sketch pale even more in comparison to the View sketches from the late 90s.
— Not caring all that much for the running gag with Tracy’s Sherri Shephard not knowing what anything is.
— Why no guest in tonight’s View sketch?
— Overall, this era’s View sketches continue to underwhelm me.
STARS: **


SCARED STRAIGHT
beer-drinking teens aren’t scared by Lorenzo McIntosh & fellow con (TRM)

— This is the first Scared Straight sketch with Kenan’s Lorenzo McIntosh character being joined by a partner. This would set the template for subsequent installments of this sketch, all(?) of which have that night’s SNL host playing a partner of McIntosh’s.
— Pretty fun pairing of Kenan and Tracy.
— McIntosh’s “Penis Noir” line was hilarious.
— Bill uncontrollably cracks up when Kenan and Tracy ad-lib by touching his face while threateningly ganging up on him. This was a big deal at the time, as it was such a fun rarity to see the then-very professional Bill Hader break. At the time, it was considered comparable to seeing the also-very-professional Phil Hartman famously break in that talk show sketch (Succinctly Speaking) in which he was interviewed as Frankenstein. Little did anyone know back then that this would end up starting a habit of Bill cracking up quite frequently and easily in sketches (including subsequent Scared Straight installments), a habit that would last for the remainder of his SNL tenure.
— Speaking of breaking and things becoming a tradition, we get our first instance of Lorenzo McIntosh’s exit being followed by Jason hopping onto the desk in a sitting position, causing Andy, Bobby, and (again) Bill to crack up.
STARS: ***½


DATELINE
Keith Morrison (BIH) & murderer (TRM) share sociopathy

— Bill’s Keith Morrison impression is always a blast.
— A big laugh from Bill’s Morrison saying, in his slow, trademark voice, “You liked it, so you put a ring on it.”
— This sketch is basically just repeating the same beats from the first installment of this sketch earlier this season, but it’s still working, and, hey, it’s not like the Bob Waltman Special sketches from the late 80s (which these Dateline sketches feel like they’re in the tradition of) didn’t repeat their own same beats as well, though those sketches seemed a little less one-note than these Dateline sketches.
— I like Bill-as-Morrison’s disappointed “Ohhhh” when hearing nobody got killed from the roof-caving-in accident.
— Great bit with Tracy joining Bill’s Morrison in his delighted, creepy vocalizations. SNL would later repeat this gag with Steve Buscemi in the Dateline sketch from Buscemi’s season 37 episode.
STARS: ****


ASTRONAUT JONES
space female’s (ANS) hermaphroditism isn’t a deterrent

— And here’s our obligatory appearance of the second of Tracy’s two biggest recurring characters.
— Every post-monologue sketch in the pre-Weekend Update half of this episode has been a recurring sketch.
— Interesting to see the old, epic Astronaut Jones opening title sequence being shown in a 2009 HD episode. For that reason, the visual quality of this title sequence looks kinda weird here. Also, you can really see from this title sequence how much Tracy’s looks have drastically changed since 2002 when this title sequence was originally filmed. Hell, you’d think it was filmed twenty years prior, judging from how much younger and thinner Tracy looks in it compared to how he looks in 2009.
— I notice they’re using the original Astronaut Jones theme song from season 27, and not the one from season 28 in which SNL (pointlessly) added female backup vocals to the theme song.
— A twist on one of the usual Astronaut Jones tropes, with the female alien he encounters turning out to apparently be transgender this time. Meh. I found that funny back in 2009, but it doesn’t quite work for me in 2020.
— The ending one-liner Astronaut Jones follows the alien’s long speech with didn’t hit quite as hard as his usual ending one-liners in these sketches, but I still laughed. The nature of these Astronaut Jones sketches, and Tracy’s killer delivery, always make the ending one-liner of these sketches work.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “My Life Would Suck Without You”


WEEKEND UPDATE
SEM baits Bernie Madoff victim John Malkovich (BIH) into a screaming fit

worried TRM says “Really!?!” to the prospect of a strip club tax

50 year-old Barbie (KRW) looks great but is limited by her plastic form

— Hell, yeah! The return of Bill’s spot-on John Malkovich impression, after we got a vocal sample of it in the Vinny Vedecci sketch from the episode Malkovich himself hosted earlier this season. Given that Malkovich is one of my favorite actors, and the fact that he has such a distinct, unique voice, I’m always a sucker for seeing impressions of him, though I’ve barely seen any, actually. The only other one besides Bill’s that I can remember seeing is from Martin Short in, I think, a Jiminy Glick episode.
— Great angry outburst from Bill’s Malkovich after such a long build-up to it.
— I must be watching the West Coast version of this episode (come to think of it, the SNL opening montage earlier in this episode did have that “Recorded from an earlier live broadcast” disclaimer), because the version I’m watching doesn’t have a technical gaffe from the live East Coast airing in which the camera accidentally cuts to a wide shot of Seth and an empty seat next to him (reserved for Tracy) when Seth begins his strip club joke that “unintentionally” sets up Tracy’s sudden appearance.
— Tracy’s overly simplistic and brief version of “Really?!?” was hilarious.
— From my previous viewings of this episode, I have almost no memory of this Barbie bit of Kristen’s.
— Kristen’s getting some laughs from the extended bit with her having trouble opening the whiskey bottle with her stiff doll hands.
STARS: ***


BIG LOVE
bigamist Bill’s (JAS) fourth wife (TRM) is not a woman

— Casey casually asking “Hey, guys, who’s baby is this?”, regarding the baby she’s been holding, made me laugh. Boy, speaking of Casey, lately, she’s really been fading away by this point of her SNL tenure. Feels like this sketch is the first semi-noteworthy thing she’s done in a while (and that’s sadly still not saying much).
— I like Jason’s imitation of Bill Paxton’s voice.
— Tracy in drag again tonight. Come to think of it, there’s an awful lot of men-in-drag humor in general tonight, between Tracy, Kenan, and Fred in the View sketch, Andy in the Astronaut Jones sketch, and now Tracy in this sketch.
— Blah at the main comedic conceit of this sketch so far. Even for a Tracy-in-drag piece, this feels like a throwaway sketch.
— I love Jason’s goofy exclamation of “DUH-OH!” when he can’t come up with a good explanation for why Tracy’s “female” character is shaving.
— (*groan*) Again, with this apparently being the West Coast version I’m currently reviewing, a huge technical gaffe at the end of this sketch is unfortunately removed. In the original East Coast airing, after Jason’s aforementioned “DUH-OH!” line, SNL’s control room operators were VERY late on their cue to roll the Big Love closing title sequence, resulting in long, painfully awkward dead air as the screen stays on Jason and the female cast members just standing there not knowing what to do. Eventually, in an attempt to break this painfully awkward silence, Jason, in character, ad-libs a mock-nervous “Eeeee!” sound while pretending to bite his nails (it’s been years since I’ve last seen this, so my recollection may be a little faulty), right before the closing title sequence FINALLY plays (and even then, it’s accidentally initially stuck on a freeze-frame shot). Call me weird, but I was really looking forward to seeing this huge gaffe again, because I remember it being uncomfortably funny, probably funnier than the intended main comedy of this weak, seemingly half-written sketch.
STARS: *½


PARTY GUYS
(BIH) & (ANS) literally identify fellow party attendees

— Fantastic escalation to this, with the cutaways to each increasingly oddball character matching the insulting name that Bill and Andy refer to them by. I also love how each cutaway is being done in an increasingly faster, briefer pace.
— Will steals this short with the cutaway to him as a “cereal rapist”, furiously fucking a box of cereal in the bathroom before shutting the door (while still mid-fuck) when realizing he can be seen. Yet another example of how Will Forte is one of SNL’s all-time most fearless cast members at pulling off daring, ballsy humor.
— Love the ending with Bill and Andy’s reflection, especially Bill depressingly responding “(*long, deep sigh*)……..That’s us.”
STARS: ****½


SUPPRESSEX
Suppressex enforces social norms by damping unwanted public erections

— After his innocent interaction with his cheerleader daughter and her fellow cheerleaders, I love Will looking into camera and delivering a stern “This is NO time for an erection!”
— Tracy is a very funny spokesman for such a product as this.
— Great testimonial from Bill as a department store Santa.
STARS: ***½


HIGH IQ
goofy distracters thwart brainy contestants on game show set

— (*sigh*) Yet another episode this season that makes me say “Oh, that’s right. Darrell Hammond is still in the cast”, as he’s sadly relegated to making his ONLY appearance of the night in a late-in-the-show sketch that has him in a non-impression role that he comes off awkward in.
— Funny to see Tracy playing a game show host. I’m enjoying him in this role.
— Something about this sketch, perhaps the wacky character walk-ons all throughout, feels like a bit of an embryonic version of the famous What Up With That sketches (which will debut later this calendar year – 2009), though tonight’s sketch has an awful lot of “Why is this weird thing happening right now???”-type responses from the game show contestants (the type of role that some SNL fans complain that current cast member Mikey Day plays too often in current-era sketches that over-explain the weirdness of their premise instead of letting it speak for itself).
— Despite this paling in comparison to the future What Up With That, this sketch is still fairly fun.
— I like the ending credits randomly starting to scroll when the game hasn’t even been completed yet.
— Pretty funny how Jason can occasionally be heard saying a very un-amused, stern “Get away from me” in the background towards one of the oddball characters (we can’t see which oddball character he’s speaking to, given how crowded the screen has become with oddball characters in general).
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “I Do Not Hook Up”


ROCKET DOG
many human & canine actors died when (TRM) made Rocket Dog

— A very well-loved sketch among a number of SNL fans, including myself.
— I love Tracy’s over-exaggerated laughing reaction to Kristen’s very corny opening joke.
— Hilarious how the first movie clip Tracy shows strangely gives away the ending of the movie.
— Tracy throughout this sketch: “Houston, we have a dog!”
— Tracy is so perfect for this material. He was born to do this sketch.
— Tracy, on why he filmed his Rocket Dog movie in Thailand: “I wanted a place that was heavy on dogs and light on laws.”
— So many laughs from the increasingly random and bizarre In Memoriam montages for seemingly every dog and human in the movie, eventually even Tracy himself. What makes those In Memoriam montages even funnier is the fact that they’re all accompanied by the “Life Is A Highway “song.
— Kristen’s straight man performance is perfect. Another example of how great she is at pulling off deadpan, a talent that’s sadly underutilized by SNL in the second half of Kristen’s SNL tenure.
STARS: *****


GAS RIGHT
ANOTHER rerun of a low-brow commercial tonight, this time from 12/6/08


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A fun episode, as expected for a Tracy Morgan-hosted episode. While this was far from perfect (Tracy’s later episode from season 41 is stronger, IIRC), there was some stuff I really liked, and I enjoyed the general feel of the episode, no doubt due to Tracy giving it the perfectly Tracy Morgan-esque feel it should’ve had. It was a blast seeing him host.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Rocket Dog
Party Guys
Tracy Returns
Monologue
Dateline
Suppressex
Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet
Scared Straight
High IQ
Astronaut Jones
Weekend Update
The View
Big Love


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Dwayne Johnson)
a slight step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Seth Rogen

Posted on

February 12, 2005 – Jason Bateman / Kelly Clarkson (S30 E12)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PRESS CONFERENCE
nuke-wielding Kim Jong Il (HOS) makes demands at fawning press conference

— Seth reprises his Brian Williams impression for the first time since Seth was only in his fourth episode on SNL.
— (*groan*) Looks like I’m in for a typical Horatio Sanz ham-fest and shout-fest.
— Four minutes into this sketch, and all I’ve been seeing is a whole bunch of tepid, unfunny dialogue, a whole bunch of bad Asian accents, and, of course, Horatio both hamming and screaming it up.
— Overall, no. Didn’t enjoy a moment of this.
STARS: *


MONOLOGUE
host & AMP plug Arrested Development so that it won’t be cancelled

— The mentions of Jason Bateman’s Arrested Development co-star Will Arnett being Amy’s husband reminds me that Arnett actually made a cameo in a dress rehearsal sketch from this episode (an award show sketch, I think), but it got cut from the live show. Odd how they would cut a Will Arnett cameo from the live show.
— Jason, on Arrested Development being up against Extreme Makeover: Home Edition: “Who’s gonna watch us when they can watch a hot shirtless guy build a skate ramp for a kid with no bones?”
— Amy’s pretty funny throughout this monologue.
STARS: ***


ME-HARMONY.COM
me-Harmony.com matches narcissists with their opposite-sex alter egos

— Blah. I find this comedic premise weak, and basically just a cheap excuse to throw everybody into drag.
— Will Forte in drag is a pretty horrifying sight.
— Oh, and because this is fucking season 30, we have to end this commercial with a token gay joke, with the lame he-harmony gag with Seth. Ugh. Also, they didn’t even try to make Seth’s gay clone look like he was realistically standing behind him, unlike how they made everybody else realistically look like they were interacting with their opposite-gender clone. Seth looked like he was standing in front of some cheap projector that was showing his gay clone.
STARS: *½


MONKEYS THROWING POOP AT CELEBRITIES
Sean Connery (DAH) gets hit

— Okay, we definitely need to discuss this sketch. This sketch seems to have a negative reputation among a lot of (or is it just some?) hardcore online SNL fans, and seems to be considered a nadir of this season. At the risk of getting stones thrown at me (or, more fittingly, poop thrown at me), as I go through the sketch, I will proceed to argue all the reasons why I’ve always felt this is actually a good sketch.
— I absolutely love the opening shot of this sketch, with Chris, dressed like a rich snob (complete with a smoking pipe, a great little detail), saying into the camera with a very deadpan voice and face “And now, it’s time for Monkeys Throwing Poop At Celebrities.” I can’t think of a more perfect way to open a sketch that has such an iffy and off-putting subject matter. Chris’ reliable, Phil Hartman-esque deadpan is perfect here. (I know, I know. Some of you reading this probably don’t want to imagine Phil Hartman being in a sketch like this.)
— Speaking of Chris, after his aforementioned intro at the beginning of this sketch, I like the subsequent theme song sung by him in the opening title sequence.
— Jason’s kinda stumbly with his lines early on in this.
— A rare non-Celebrity Jeopardy appearance from Darrell’s Sean Connery.
— Right from Darrell-as-Connery’s entrance, I love him immediately halting the proceedings and being very suspicious of what this show is about, and questioning so many things about the show. The way Darrell is playing this so sternly and tensely is cracking me up, and is really making this sketch work so well.
— Darrell’s Connery finally getting poop thrown at him, and him jovially laughing about it isn’t quite as hilarious as I had remembered it, but it’s still working for me.
— I was about to say that the preview of the next episode, with celebrities such as Carrot Top (Seth) and Sharon Stone (Amy) getting poop thrown at them, was pushing it and wasn’t necessary, but then the final shot in that preview, with Kenan as Bill Cosby getting poop thrown right onto his forehead and it sticking on there while he stares at the camera in a deadpan manner with a cigar in his mouth, is an unforgettable image to me and got me back to laughing.
— Overall, yep. I like this sketch. In the past, I used to feel that the people who hate this sketch aren’t giving the actual content of it a shot and are just unfairly judging it by its mere juvenile premise combined with the fact that it’s airing in a bad season like this. In more recent years, I’ve come to accept the fact that people who hate this sketch perhaps ARE fairly judging this sketch as a whole, not just the juvenile premise, and they simply don’t enjoy the sketch at all. I can understand that. However, I personally will defend this sketch to the grave.
STARS: ***½


AN IMPORTANT MOMENT IN BLACK HISTORY
Kenny Wilkins (FIM) nixes skydiving

— Will looks like he’s wearing his John George Peppers wig from the famous Key Party sketch, only with sideburns added.
— I love Finesse’s sudden outburst of “HELL NO!”
— Very funny ending with a text crawl revealing that what we just saw was the first black man to say no to a recreational activity only a white man would think to do.
STARS: ****


THE BEST OF T.T. & MARIO
T.T. (MAR) & Mario’s (KET) songs all refer to getting freaky

— The sudden “booty so tight” turn in Maya and Kenan’s first song made me laugh.
— I love how the sexual song right now about “putting it in” suddenly ends with the blunt lyric “JUST A TIP!”
— I like the Kenan and Maya’s monotone “Oh my god, it’s an earthquake” tacked on at the end of an otherwise very unrelated raunchy song for an earthquake movie.
— The intros with Jason and Amy are increasingly hilarious.
— Kenan and Maya’s scenes are kinda hit and miss, but the hits are really working for me.
STARS: ***½


SUBWAY PERFORMERS
subway passenger (host) empties his wallet for pushy in-car performers

— Lots of pairings of Amy and Jason tonight, possibly because of Jason’s Arrested Development co-star being Amy’s husband. I remember some online SNL fans back at this time in 2005 wondering if Amy and Jason constantly playing a romantic couple is SNL’s way of playfully trolling Arnett.
— A laugh from the obvious made-up charity that Finesse says he and the young boy with him are collecting money for.
— Finesse and the young boy’s choreography is pretty funny.
— I’m enjoying all of Rachel’s harsh one-liners to the various subway performers.
— When Jason and Amy try to pretend they’re not there so Kelly Clarkson’s blind character won’t ask them for money, I love Clarkson’s stern delivery of “Pay up, I can smell you.”
— Weak ending.
STARS: ***


AN IMPORTANT MOMENT IN BLACK HISTORY
Kenny Wilkins nixes direct deposit

— Finesse’s sudden delivery of “HELL NO!” continues to crack me up, even though it’s just the same joke from last time. Could’ve done without the subsequent text crawl being the exact same from last time, though.
— I remember an online SNL fan back at this time saying this Important Moment In Black History runner felt too much like an inferior imitation of the type of biting racial humor that was regularly seen at the time on Chappelle’s Show. I can see that, but I’m still enjoying this Important Moment In Black History runner on its own merits.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Since U Been Gone”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Prince Charles (SEM) thinks Camilla Parker Bowles (FRA) is quite a catch

TIF & AMP sing “War Is All Around” in honor of Condoleezza Rice

not wanting to anger Bill Cosby, KET passes on a chance to denigrate him

— Blah at that clapter-inducing anti-Bush joke of Tina’s.
— Did we really need extended audience laughter from Amy’s tepid joke implying Howard Dean has no neck?
— The apple-eating/knife bit between Tina and Amy was weak, especially Amy’s stupid extended nervous babbling of a cartoonish “Hupupupupup!”
— OH FUCKING NO. The debut of Seth and Fred’s Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles Update commentaries. I absolutely hate these, mainly for a reason that I’ll state when it occurs in tonight’s commentary.
— An okay ad-lib from Seth after he messes up a line.
— OH, GOD. And there goes the main reason I hate these awful Charles/Camilla commentaries: the cheap, hacky, and unfunny punchline being a man-on-man kiss between Seth and Fred, which is all this whole commentary seemed to be leading up to. As if this SNL era (particularly this season) hadn’t ALREADY been relying way too goddamn heavily on the “hilarious” and “shocking” sight of men kissing each other for a cheap, unnecessary laugh.
— Boy, I am HATING most of Tina and Amy’s jokes tonight, even moreso than usual in the Fey/Poehler era of Update.
— Oh, no. Now I have to sit through Tina breaking out into a song?
— Ugh, that whole bit with Tina and Amy singing an altered version of the Mary Tyler Moore theme song during a Condoleezza Rice photo montage was awful, as was Amy’s dumb and unfunny ad-lib afterwards about how she and Tina look like synchronized swimmers in the freeze-frame of them throwing their hats into the air. Jesus Christ, tonight’s Update is destroying me with how bad it is.
— I see this must’ve been when the Bill Cosby rape allegations first started, 9 long years before those allegations started being taken much more seriously (thanks to SNL’s own Hannibal Buress, IIRC), leading to Cosby eventually being found guilty and sentenced to prison.
— Kenan’s brief appearance during Tina and Amy’s Bill Cosby bit feels kinda odd to watch now. To think now that there was once a time where Kenan wanted to refrain from making jokes about Bill Cosby’s rape allegations because Kenan wanted to continue working in Bill Cosby projects like the Fat Albert movie he had then-recently starred in. If he only knew…
— Tina and Amy’s losing streak in tonight’s Update continues, as their whole Bill Cosby bit did not work for me. Seemed mostly like YET ANOTHER excuse for lame Fey/Poehler self-indulgence, with them wasting airtime by taking turns doing bad Cosby impressions for half a minute.
— I will say that I did like Tina’s Tracy Morgan joke just now.
— And tonight’s Update has mercifully ended. Overall, oof. What a wretched Update, and further backs up my viewpoint that the Fey/Poehler era was a Dark Age for Weekend Update.
STARS: *½


GAYS IN SPACE
homosexual rocketmen encounter sperm-seeking lesbians

— I’ll say for the second time tonight: OH FUCKING NO. The debut of a recurring sketch that I’ve always despised with a fiery passion, and consider to be the bane of season 30’s aforementioned hyperfocus on hacky stereotypical gay humor.
— Did Jason just say “Bokay” instead of “Okay” just now? That would later become a somewhat common thing Kenan would later say in the Deep House Dish sketches (another recurring sketch I’ve always despised with a fiery passion).
— Literally NOTHING in this awful marathon of gay stereotypes is working for me. This sketch represents so many things I hate not only about this season of SNL, but about James Anderson’s tendencies as a writer.
STARS: *


LOOPING SESSION
in the voiceover booth, Bill Kurtis (DAH) mixes graphic script & chitchat

— I love how Darrell’s Bill Kurtis is constantly and seamlessly going back-and-forth between having a family-friendly conversation with the technicians and reading the increasingly disturbing and graphic murder details into the microphone. This is being executed really well, especially considering this is a later-era Darrell Hammond performance, long after he started seeming checked-out as a performer. His performance and timing in this sketch is top-notch.
— Hmm, maybe I spoke a bit a little too soon about Darrell putting rare effort into this sketch, as he didn’t even commit to that guitar ending. He can be seen IMMEDIATELY putting the guitar back down before the screen even faded to black. Certainly not a big deal, though, and has no effect on this strong sketch.
— Overall, a forgotten and underrated sketch.
STARS: ****


AN IMPORTANT MOMENT IN BLACK HISTORY
Kenny Wilkins nixes sushi

— Once again, the same “HELL NO!” gag as the last two times, but the funny sushi-eating premise of this one made it funny. However, this runner would probably be better if, instead of always showing the very first instance of a “HELL NO!” in different situations, the second and third installment of this runner showed the very first instance of other black phrases.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Breakaway”


RAP NIGHT WITH CHUBB HOTTY
Chubb Hotty sings a duet with his girlfriend (musical guest)

— FUCKING KILL ME. This dreck again.
— When Horatio’s Chubb Hotty made his entrance in this sketch, what was with the awkward way the curtain he was standing behind raised up in the air, then got pulled to the side? Was that an intentional joke? If so, it came off completely half-assed and poorly executed.
— Like last time, Kenan is the only thing that comes even remotely close to holding this horrible sketch together, especially his solid delivery of his line about Chubby Hotty eating Free Willy in front of kids at Sea World.
— Chubb Hotty: “Yesterday, I took a poop the size of a Hyundai.” Again, I ask: FUCKING KILL ME.
— That pre-taped behind-the-scenes video was awful.
— Aaaaaaaand there goes the obligatory huge fart in tonight’s Chubb Hotty sketch.
— Wait, you mean to tell me we get MULTIPLE huge farting this time, instead of just one huge fart like we got in the first installment of this sketch?!? I ask one more time in my review of this sketch: FUCKING KILL ME.
STARS: *


PUBLIC SPEAKING CLASS
students at a public speaking workshop exhibit presentational defects

— After two consecutive episodes of being stuck in Non-Speaking Bit Role Hell, Rob Riggle finally gets another chance to remind the audience that he’s actually funny.
— I’m enjoying how the performers in this sketch are each getting a comedic showcase one-by-one that’s different from one another.
— Yet another romantic pairing of Jason and Amy. Yep, I’m starting to see what some people meant by SNL playfully trolling Will Arnett.
— SNL saves the best for last, as the underrated Chris Parnell absolutely steals this whole sketch with his very funny Gesture Dyslexia bit.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

— A noteworthy unplanned and funny moment during these goodnights: as Jason is crouching down and acting playfully with the monkey from the Monkeys Throwing Poop At Celebrities sketch, the monkey suddenly swipes his arm kinda violently towards Jason’s face (not making actual contact) (the third above screencap for these goodnights), leading to Jason making a very amused and surprised “Ohhh!” face towards the audience (the fourth above screencap for these goodnights), and Rachel to put her hands over her own mouth in a shocked “Oh my god” manner. The camera then cuts to a different part of the home base stage, where Amy is seen looking up at the monitor and laughing her ass off at the monkey incident (the last above screencap for these goodnights). Great little goodnights moment here.

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A lot of people seem to consider this episode to be a nadir of season 30. I feel like where you stand with this episode might also just so happen to depend on whether or not you like Monkeys Throwing Poop At Celebrities. (I’m not implying that sketch ALONE makes one like or dislike this entire episode; just that, from what I’ve seen, people who strongly dislike this episode also don’t seem to like that sketch.) I like that sketch, and I happen to feel this episode as a whole is okay-ish…for THIS season’s standards. That’s pretty much damning with faint praise, though. I’m apparently in the minority in not finding this episode to be among the worst of season 30. What can I say? While I found this episode to be somewhat hit and miss (especially the post-Weekend Update half of the show), the hits outnumbered the misses for me. However, it needs to be said that most of the misses were not only weak; they were fucking WRETCHED, particularly an even-worse-than-usual Fey/Poehler Update, and two of my absolute least favorite recurring sketches from this period of SNL (Gays in Space, Chubb Hotty), both recurring sketches of which epitomize so much of what’s wrong with this season.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Paris Hilton)
a mild step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Hilary Swank. The way a lot of people feel about the Jason Bateman episode is how *I* feel about this Hilary Swank episode. This episode pretty much BROKE me when it originally aired and led to me reaching my official boiling point with season 30, which I’ll be going into some detail about in my review of this episode.