Kid Rock – The 'One SNL a Day' Project

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE LADIES’ MAN
skanks (Sarah Michelle Gellar), (Gina Gershon), Florence Henderson [real]

— A fitting choice to start off what ends up being Tim Meadows’ final episode, whether he or SNL was aware of it at the time or not.
— Fun change of pace for a Ladies Man sketch, having this edition be a Dating Game-esque game show titled “Who Wants To Be My Skank”.
— Sarah Michelle Gellar makes a cameo for the second consecutive episode.
— Very funny to see a Florence Henderson cameo in this specific context.
— Florence Henderson: “Let’s get skanky!”
— Florence continues to steal the sketch, especially her raunchy line about a bottle of Wesson Oil, which got a great audience reaction.
— I like how Leon Phelps nicknames Florence “Flo-Ho”.
— During the group “Live From New York…” at the end, Tim looked genuinely emotional. Perhaps he is aware that this is his last show.
STARS: ****

MONOLOGUE
host bests Steven Seagal (WIF) & other martial arts also-rans

— Right off the bat in this monologue, Jackie Chan’s very thin grasp on the English language is pretty charming, though it makes me wonder how he’ll fare in delivering lines in sketches.
— Funny Steven Seagal impression from Will.
— A good laugh from the “Legionnaire” bit with Kattan’s Jean Claude Van Damme.
— Decent bit with Horatio’s Sammo Hung questioning why he’s stuck on the show Martial Law with Arsenio Hall.
— The non-comedic choreographed fight at the end was okay, I guess.
STARS: ***

NICK BURNS, YOUR COMPANY’S COMPUTER GUY
Nick Burns & fellow nerd (host) belittle office workers’ tech problems

— I like how it’s become a regular thing at the beginning of these Nick Burns sketches for Kattan to go “I don’t like that guy.”
— Pretty funny sight of Jackie as a computer nerd, named Wang.
— Nick Burns’ fat jokes about Horatio in these sketches always make me laugh, especially him responding to Horatio’s trouble finding the menu on his computer with “The last thing I expect you not to be able to find is a menu.”
— Nick Burns: “I guess we gotta make like Microsoft…” Wang: “…and split!” A clever topical joke, referencing the then-recent decision to split Microsoft into two companies, though I’m not sure the joke has aged well with a lot of viewers nowadays.
— Overall, just an average installment of this sketch. I enjoyed the previous installments a little better.
STARS: ***

BAND SHOT
G.E. Smith [real] plays guitar

RENAISSANCE FAIR
Marty & Bobbi do a medieval-themed medley at the school Renaissance Fair

— Hmm, Tim playing someone who’s retiring seems to be another possible acknowledgment that this is Tim’s last show.
— Tim’s deadpan Spanish statements are very funny.
— Tim briefly looked like he was going to laugh right as he angrily yelled “Stop throwing taco meat!”
— Interesting renaissance costume on the Culps tonight.
— Funny bit with Marty Culps’ “minstrel period” line coming out sounding like “menstrual period”.
— The Culps make a mention of a weaver named Cheryl Hardwick. That’s an inside reference, as Cheryl Hardwick is the name of a longtime SNL Band member who’s retiring tonight.
— Now the Culps namedrop students named Bob Van Ry and Charlie McKittrick. Bob Van Ry is the name of a longtime SNL stage manager who’s also retiring tonight, and Charlie McKittrick is the name of Ana’s real-life husband. A lot of interesting inside references with the character names in tonight’s Culps sketch.
— I like how the song medley that the Culps do tonight is renaissance-themed versions of hit songs.
— I love the Culps covering “The Thong Song”, especially after I recently had to sit through Sisqo’s LAUGHABLY bad performance of that song when he was a musical guest a few episodes earlier.
— Nice how they’re now having the departing Tim Meadows join in on the song medley.
STARS: ***½

TV FUNHOUSE
“Fun With Some Real Audio” by RBS- Madonna indulges fans’ intimate wishes

— Hmm, a bit of a change, with the title “Fun With Some Real Audio”.
— The first father introducing his son to Madonna sounded at first like he’s being voiced by Adam Sandler, oddly enough. After a while, though, I no longer hear Sandler in his voice. I think it’s Robert Smigel himself doing the voice.
— A big laugh from the father telling Madonna that both he and his son have masturbated to her.
— The bit with the Hispanic family taking turns sticking their finger in Madonna’s asscrack is very funny.
— A little odd how this entire cartoon (aside from the very first shot of Madonna dancing and singing) is just using one far-away camera angle. There’s no close-up shots or anything.
— Madonna deep-throating random things is kinda funny, but this cartoon is starting get kinda old.
— The Don McLean walk-on made me laugh at first, wondering where it was gonna go, but it just ended up going the same “Can I stick my finger in your asscrack?” route. Meh.
STARS: **½

SPARKS
(MOS) & (host) get embroiled in Zimmermans’ erotic miniature golf game

— Is tonight’s episode going to be nothing but recurring sketches?
— This ends up being the final appearance of the Zimmermans, as this is Cheri’s last show.
— So far, the Zimmermans’ usual antics have a tired feel tonight. It’s a good thing this ends up being the final installment.
— Haha, whoa at the part with water spraying out of the crocodile that Cheri is suggestively sitting on.
— The timing in this sketch feels kinda off.
— Overall, a weak way for the Zimmermans to go out.
— This sketch would later be cut from reruns and replaced with an Adam McKay short film titled “The Procedure”, starring Andy Richter and Willem Dafoe. I’ve heard a theory that perhaps the reason SNL refrained from re-airing this Zimmermans sketch is possibly because you could see through Cheri’s wet shirt after the aforementioned part where water sprays on her.
STARS: **

LEGENDS IN CONCERT
Asian Elvis impersonator (host) wins over a skeptical Las Vegas crowd

— Parnell’s Tom Jones number at the beginning of this sketch is funny.
— Good singing voice on Jackie.
— Jackie’s delivery when speaking to the audience is pretty rough.
— Ha, Kid Rock as Jerry Lee Lewis. Also a funny use of Joe C. as Lewis’ child bride, though the sight of Joe C. in drag is quite bizarre.
STARS: **½

WEEKEND UPDATE
Bobby Knight (DAH) relates lessons learned from an anger management class

— This is it, folks. The final Colin Quinn Weekend Update.
— Some pretty rough jokes from Colin early on in this Update. The audience is liking some of these jokes more than I am.
— Like in the preceding episode’s Update, Colin keeps occasionally fanning himself with the papers in his hand. Another unbearably hot New York day in May, I take it?
— Darrell’s Bobby Knight angrily breaking the glass in his hand while having a fake smile is KINDA funny, but I think I’m just desperate for a laugh at this point. This Bobby Knight Update commentary in general isn’t doing anything for me, and the audience is dead.
— Wow, that’s the whole Bobby Knight commentary? That was awful. I don’t know whether to blame the writing or Darrell’s odd performance, but either way, this commentary did NOT work.
— Some of Colin’s ad-libs in between his jokes tonight are KINDA making me laugh for once, more than most of Colin’s jokes themselves.
— Overall, despite a bit of an upswing in Colin’s jokes towards the end of tonight’s Update, I found this Update as a whole to be a poor way for Colin to go out, being a step below his usual Updates (which is saying something, as I typically find his Updates to be fairly subpar).
— These last two-and-a-half seasons of Update with Colin at the helm have been a somewhat rough patch for SNL, though Colin occasionally had his moments. But now, all I can say is an excited BRING ON THE NEXT UPDATE ERA!
STARS: **

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “American Bad Ass”

PRETTY LIVING
joyologist Helen’s new boyfriend (host) teaches GymNasty

— DAMMIT.
— Boy, the quality of tonight’s season finale has really been dropping off.
— The running gag in these Pretty Living sketches with Ana having a smiling facade while disclosing something bitter about her personal life is getting old. Like I said in an earlier review, SNL has Ana play a few too many characters with this trait. The Hello Dolly sketches, for example.
— Okay, I did get a laugh just now from Ana’s good delivery of the line “I would jump your bones right now, but my entire sex drive is muted by high doses of lithium.”
— I got another very rare Pretty Living laugh, this time from the title of Jackie’s instructional sexual gymnastics video: “Giving Good Headstands”.
STARS: *½

CALGON
(host) beats (CHP) to prevent exposure of ancient Chinese secret

— Only two episodes into her SNL tenure, and Maya Rudolph is already proving to be a chameleon when it comes to playing various ethnicities. And something about her performance in this commercial is kinda adorable to me.
— Speaking of Maya, this pre-taped ad is her only appearance all night. Her only live appearance all season was in that MTV VJ sketch from the John Goodman episode. Her sole pre-taped appearance tonight is still more than what poor Rachel Dratch gets, as Rachel is completely shut out of this season finale.
— Much like we saw in The Rock episode earlier this season, Parnell shows how damn good he is at taking a fake beating in a sketch.
— Overall, a short and simple gag, and, while Jackie’s sudden beatdown of Parnell was kinda funny, it felt like this commercial should’ve had a funnier twist on the old Calgon ad it was parodying.
STARS: **½

HOLE DIGGERS
at the Earth’s center, expert hole diggers form international brotherhood

— Funny bit with Will and Jackie questioning why the hell Parnell would want to dig to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.
— Pretty funny how more and more random hole diggers from various countries keep entering.
— A fairly fun song that has a nice charm. Even though the song’s not comedic at all, I strangely find it a kinda fitting way to close out the final sketch of the season.
— I love the ending disclaimer after the jovial song: “And eight minutes later they were all dead!”
STARS: ***½

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Only God Knows Why”

GOODNIGHTS
Cheryl Hardwick [real] blows a kiss to mark her final SNL

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A disappointing season finale. The first 1/3rds of the episode was decent, then the show seemed to gradually get worse and worse, though it picked up at the end with the Hole Diggers sketch. The Ladies Man cold opening was the only thing all night that stood out to me as strong. Also, Jackie Chan, while he came off charming at times and had a fun attitude, maybe wasn’t the best choice for a season finale host.

MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS

HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Britney Spears)
a step down

MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS ENTIRE SEASON, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS