Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
GOODFELLAS
Alec remembers goofily-nicknamed goodfellas he used to hang around with
— Solid idea for a cold opening.
— This is a great and very fun way to use pretty much the entire cast and some of the writers.
— My favorite bits have been Rob as Jimmy Five-Times, Phil as Johnny Big Balls, Norm as Ricky Pause-and-Shout, writer Ian Maxtone-Graham as Pete the Pedophile (“Hey, when you gonna bring the kids over?”), and Tim as Naked Derek (“Hey, when you gonna bring the kids over?”).
STARS: ****
OPENING MONTAGE
— The theme music would later be replaced in reruns with the dress rehearsal version. Same goes for the following monologue.
MONOLOGUE
hosts’ love for each other isn’t diminished when they reveal some secrets
— In the aforementioned dress rehearsal version of this monologue shown in reruns (first screencap below), Alec is dressed completely differently than he’s dressed in this live version (second screencap below).
— A big laugh from Kim revealing to Alec “I have no respect for you as an actor”.
— Another very funny reveal, with Alec revealing he drugged Kim to make a plaster cast of her body to sell to an inflatable doll company.
— In the dress rehearsal version shown in reruns, the part with Kim clarifying how her last name is pronounced (“Bay-sing-er” and not “Bass-in-jer”) ends with a brief bit that doesn’t appear in the live version: Alec happily hugs her while saying“I love you, Kim Bass-in-jer”, which is followed by Kim correcting him on the pronunciation again.
— The funniness of Alec and Kim’s confessions has fallen off a little after a while, but it’s still decent.
STARS: ***
CANTEEN BOY GOES CAMPING
while camping, Canteen Boy fends off scoutmaster’s (Alec) advances
— Here comes the only famous Canteen Boy sketch, as well as a very infamous sketch in its own right…
— Heh, there goes the creepy, unsettling turn this sketch suddenly takes with the certain look Alec gives Canteen Boy after putting his arm around him.
— Well… needless to say, this is VERY different from Canteen Boy’s previous appearances, but to me, this sketch is damn funny, in a very wrong way. I can definitely understand why this sketch would put off a lot of people, though, plus the sketch does signify SNL’s growing reliance on shock humor and offensive content that will be part of what plagues the following season. It’s very hard to defend this sketch, but I feel it’s one of the very rare times that both this and the following season manage to pull off the shock/offensive humor well.
— Throughout this sketch, there’s so many funny one-liners from Canteen Boy in reaction to things Alec’s character does.
— I love Alec’s delivery of “Canteen Boy, you rascal!” when a whole bunch of snakes attack him.
— This sketch oddly ends with no applause from the audience at all, until after the SNL Band starts playing the show to commercial. It’s funny to imagine that the reason for the audience’s hesitant applause is because they (like many SNL viewers at the time) were offended by the sketch, but that can’t be the case, as they were heard laughing throughout it.
— Part of the controversy over the things the scoutmaster did to Canteen Boy throughout this sketch is due to some people believing Canteen Boy is supposed to be a child (it also doesn’t help that this sketch originally aired at the same time the Michael Jackson child molestation charges were all over the news). Canteen Boy is actually an adult, which reruns of this sketch explain in a disclaimer added to the beginning (screencap below).
Some people think that disclaimer was just SNL changing Canteen Boy’s age from a child to a 27-year-old as damage control, but those people are wrong. It had already been established in the very first Canteen Boy sketch that he’s an adult who’s still obsessed with the Boy Scouts. All that being said, it’s still obvious that the scoutmaster’s actions towards Canteen Boy were supposed to allude to the Boy Scouts child sex abuse cases.
STARS: a very guilty ****
PLAYGROUND
back at the jungle gym, Phillip asks Robin (Kim) to be his Valentine
— (*groan*) Here’s our latest victim of season 19’s bad habit of making recurring sketches out of stuff that have no legs as a recurring sketch and clearly should’ve remained a solid one-off.
— Kim’s character is named Robin, presumably after Mike’s real-life wife at the time.
— Kim isn’t doing anywhere NEAR as good a job at playing a kid as Nicole Kidman did in the first installment of this sketch. I’m not buying Kim as a little girl at all.
— So far, this sketch has been nothing but an inferior carbon copy of the first installment, only with a Valentine’s Day theme shoehorned in.
— The only real laugh I got so far has been the “The girls got the buns, and the boys got the hot dogs” sing-a-long, and that didn’t even come until about three minutes into the sketch.
— To complete the carbon copy feel of this sketch, they now flat-out reuse the first installment’s pre-taped ending in which Phillip unhinges the jungle gym and runs down the street with the gym still attached to him. That’s taking laziness to a new level. Absolutely ridiculous. I was going to rate this overall sketch a star-and-a-half, but screw it, the half-star is docked due to the unbelievably-lazy recycled footage ending.
STARS: *
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “C’est La Vie”
WEEKEND UPDATE
Ike Turner (TIM) & his Valentine KEN perform “Proud Mary”
— Kevin’s jokes have been really hit-and-miss so far tonight, and he’s stumbling over an awful lot of them. (*sigh*) Only 7 episodes left until Norm takes over…
— Ehh, the recurring Ike Turner/Kevin Nealon relationship thing is getting tired, and their interaction tonight is feeling too by-the-numbers.
— Ah, we suddenly get new life added to the Ike/Kevin bit, with an absolutely hilarious turn involving Kevin wildly dancing in a red Tina Turner-esque short skirt while dueting with Ike on “Proud Mary”. A very solid and memorable bit.
— I love Kevin’s addendum to the whole Ike Turner commentary, with him telling the audience “You people in the front row got a little something extra tonight”, referring to how short his skirt was.
— The whole Ike Turner commentary seems to have given a sudden quality boost to tonight’s Update in general (or maybe it just put me in a better mood), as it’s being followed by some really solid news jokes from Kevin.
— Chris Farley had a commentary as himself cut after this episode’s dress rehearsal, in which he talks about why he finds Valentine’s Day disgusting.
STARS: ***½
FAMILY FEUD
hosts, Billy & Stephen Baldwin [real] give showbiz answers
— Oh, god, here comes a sketch that I’ve always found to be a complete chore to watch in my past viewings.
— I do love the randomness of Tim playing author James Baldwin, filling in for Daniel Baldwin.
— The premise of the Baldwins always incorrectly guessing showbiz things is weak and is being repeated over and over. The fact that this sketch is so damn long only makes it worse.
— Phil’s trying his damnedest to save this, and I have gotten a chuckle or two from him. A shame, though, that this is the first really big role he’s gotten on the show in TWO MONTHS. It’s very sad witnessing his much-needed presence gradually disappear over the course of this season. And I can’t even imagine how it’s going to feel once his future replacement Michael McKean gets brought in two episodes from now.
— At the end, Don Pardo announces that this has been SNL’s 300th gameshow parody.
STARS: *½
ROMANTIC MEN
romantic men (Alec), (PHH), (MIM) impress (CHF)’s girlfriend (JUS)
— I’m liking Alec’s performance as a foreign-accented classical romantic leading man.
— Kind of a slow sketch so far, but not bad, and I can appreciate what this is going for. However, this feels like the type of soft, sentimental sketch that would’ve been pulled off better in a superior season.
— A pretty enjoyable charming song from the three romantic men, especially when Julia starts dancing around them.
— Sweet ending with Chris and Julia.
STARS: ***
MICROSCOPIC ELVIS
atom bomb test makes Tiny Elvis (ROS) microscopic
— And the latest victim of season 19’s habit of bringing back one-off sketches that have no business being recurring iiiiiisssssss……
— It’s especially silly that they’re making this sketch recurring, considering Nicolas Cage played Tiny Elvis the first time. Was it really worth recasting the role to bring back a sketch that was fine as just a decent, goofy one-time thing last season?
— Not caring for the random Microscopic Elvis twist.
— A weak, weak sketch overall. I got a chuckle or two at best, while spending the rest of the sketch being very bored.
STARS: *½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Can’t Help Falling In Love”
PYRAMID OF PAIN
Mickey Ross’ (Alec) threats of force induce weight loss
— Rob’s testimonial about being bitchslapped by Alec for hours and hours is cracking me up.
— I got a laugh from Alec’s (intentionally) corny response to one fat guy: “Looks like YOU’RE everywhere…. cuz you’re fat.”
— Alec’s delivery in general is giving me good amusement here, and his performance is selling this material. However, parts of this sketch still have kind of a dead feel.
— The ending felt a little abrupt. I was expecting more from this sketch.
STARS: either **½ or ***, I can’t decide yet
DRESSING ROOM
CHF brings Kim flowers & finds out she used to go out with fat guys
— I liked hearing Chris doing his old Da Bears voice when talking about the Super Fans sketches.
— This seems to be a thinly-veiled The Chris Farley Show sketch, only this is not working anywhere NEAR as well as those sketches. This is coming off as a pale imitation.
— I am liking the sweetness to this, but like a lot of sketches tonight, there’s too much of a dull, forgettable feel here. Kim’s bored straight man performance is probably partly responsible for that.
STARS: **
GOODNIGHTS
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— I guess it had to happen sooner or later: our first disappointing Alec Baldwin episode. I guess even his track record of strong episodes has succumbed to the mediocrity that’s been plaguing the second half of this season. Tonight’s episode had a really bland feel, especially the post-Update half, and very few things tonight stood out as solid, most of which were just in the first 15 minutes of the show. Alec still gave his usual strong, dependable performances and commitment all throughout this episode, but the same cannot be said for co-host Kim Basinger, who’s performances matched the bland feel of this episode.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Patrick Stewart)
a big step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Martin Lawrence tries his damnedest to top the Canteen Boy controversy