Tag: Lindsay Lohan

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March 3, 2012 – Lindsay Lohan / Jack White (S37 E16)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

FOX REPORT W/ SHEPARD SMITH
Shepard Smith (BIH) checks in with Mitt Romney (JAS) & sons

— Feels a bit odd in hindsight seeing Kristen playing Ann Romney (which I forgot she ever did), given the fact that a certain upcoming new female cast member (joining the show two episodes from now) would have a breakout moment doing a well-received take on Ann Romney in a Weekend Update commentary the following season.
— The joke about America indifferently opting to vote for Mitt Romney “…….I guess” was already made on Weekend Update in a previous episode this season.
— Ha, for once in SNL history, there’s a shortage of white guys in the cast, to the degree that they’re forced to cast the Weekend-Update-only Seth Meyers and writer Mike O’Brien as two of Mitt Romney’s five sons in this cold opening.
— Bobby, as one of Romney’s five sons: “I’m the rebel…(*whispers into the camera*) because I eat sugar!”
— The disturbing back-and-forths that Bill’s Shepard Smith occasionally has with his mother’s skeleton are very funny.
— Bill’s Shepard Smith, after his interview with Romney’s five sons: “My thanks to Stephen King for creating those boys!”
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
despite JIF’s reassurance of trust in host, Jon Hamm [real] is on standby

— Long before the audience has stopped their opening applause, Lindsay Lohan oddly chooses to begin saying her lines (the lines after the usual “Thank you”s), causing the applause to drown out her lines a little bit at first. Is she that out of practice with SNL? Then again, it HAS been 6 years since she last hosted prior to this.
— Lindsay, regarding Kenan checking her eyes: “You know, I should be checking your eyes.” Kenan: “Oh, I’ll save you the trouble. I’ve been stoned since Good Burger.”
— As Kristen makes her exit, a woman in the audience can be heard maniacally shrieking at the top of her lungs in an excited manner, “KRISTEN WIIIIIIIG!!!!”
— Jimmy Fallon cameo.
— This monologue has been featuring lots of SNL desperately trying to remind us of the positive aspects from the earlier career of the troubled Lindsay Lohan. I mean, I get why SNL’s doing that, but I don’t like how it feels like they’re trying too hard, and something about that feels a little depressing to me. I wonder if the latter is also caused by me knowing in hindsight that, despite SNL’s efforts, this episode doesn’t end up jumpstarting a big comeback in Lindsay’s career that SNL intended.
— Ha, now we get Jon Hamm, a cameo I’m more happy to see (nothing against Jimmy, though). We also get a comical mention of him being on standby as tonight’s backup host, though sadly, that also reminds me of the real-life situation with SNL having Chris Rock on standby as a backup host for the season 23 Chris Farley-hosted episode, due to the horrible state Farley’s health was in at the time.
STARS: **


THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF DISNEY
Belle (ABE) & other Disney princesses misbehave

— A very fun and solid concept.
— A good laugh from the bit with Nasim’s Jasmine disclosing the fact that she unknowingly had sex with Iago, the parrot.
— I absolutely love the bit with the dwarves’ hands being seen high-fiving Vanessa’s Snow White in response to a witty remark she made in her confessional.
STARS: ****


2012 PSYCHIC AWARDS
In Memoriam reel at Psychic Awards honors not-yet-deceased clarivoyants

— Funny bit with the psychic nominees in one award category being shown reacting in disappointment over losing long before the winner is actually announced.
— Some amusing corny awards show-esque quips from Andy throughout this sketch.
— Odd how this is the second awards show sketch this season centered around an In Memoriam montage (the first sketch being the Adult Video Awards sketch from the Charles Barkley episode). However, there’s an original twist to this In Memoriam montage, with it being for the psychics and magicians we’re going to lose in the coming year.
— Some pretty solid gags during the In Memoriam part, such as the bird flu bit with Abby, and the diabetes bit with Bobby. Odd coincidence, though, that that’s the second sugar-eating joke with Bobby in tonight’s episode alone (the first was mentioned in my review of the cold opening).
STARS: ***½


SCARED STRAIGHT
Lorenzo McIntosh & host present teens with unpleasant prison scenarios

— This recurring sketch makes its first appearance in a year, and this ends up being its final appearance.
— A funny eventual reveal that Lindsay’s playing herself.
— Geez, Lindsay botched the punchline to that Tweety joke by pausing for an absurdly long time before delivering it.
— The usual laughs from this recurring sketch’s movie references and prison rape mentions, even if it’s old hat by now.
— More sloppiness from Lindsay, as she’s stumbling like crazy over her stretch of dialogue right now.
— Holy hell, I’m a bit surprised that AIDS joke was allowed to get through. Even Jason’s character expresses complete disbelief over hearing that (I know he usually does that in response to the crude prison rape mentions in these sketches, but it seemed especially believable when he did it this time).
— Yeah, the more this sketch is going on, the more Lindsay is killing the momentum of it for me. Her delivery here is so off.
— Ha, the usual bit at the end of this recurring sketch where Jason intentionally cracks the other performers up by hopping up in a sitting position onto the desk is even funnier than usual this time, with the performers laughing particularly hard, even Jason himself. That alone makes up for any shortcomings in tonight’s overall Scared Straight installment, and is actually a good and fitting note to officially end this recurring sketch’s run on.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Love Interruption”


WEEKEND UPDATE
James Carville (BIH) disparages Rush Limbaugh, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich

Snooki (BOM) may have been impregnated by Jon Hamm [real]

— Good to see Bill’s always-fun James Carville impression back. I recently learned that there was supposed to be a James Carville commentary on Update in the then-recent Zooey Deschanel episode, but due to an eye infection causing Bill to have to drop out from appearing on the show that weekend, the intended James Carville commentary was repurposed as an Arianna Huffington commentary for Nasim.
— I laughed more than I probably should’ve at Bill-as-Carville’s only-mildly-funny explanation for why he refers to his penis as his “Harry Connick Jr.”.
— A huge laugh from Bill’s Carville imitating what his penis looks like.
— I’m a bit surprised this is the first Update commentary Bobby’s Snooki has done in a somewhat long time.
— As I mentioned in previous episode reviews, Bobby’s one of the few people in recent SNL years who can make the hacky “man in drag” trope enjoyable.
— When discussing what the name of Bobby-as-Snooki’s baby might be, I loved Bobby’s Snooki responding to Seth’s “And if it’s a girl?” question by just saying “God help us all” in a deadpan voice.
STARS: ***


DELINQUENT GIRL TEEN GANG
in a movie, delinquent girl (FRA) dances in the street & gets hit by cars

— Those awful “funny” names during the opening title sequence, especially the name Skipper St. Junt (the type of name that’s one of James Anderson’s many horrible trademarks as an SNL writer) are already making me worried about this sketch.
— And here to make me even MORE worried about this sketch is the fact that the main role features Fred in drag. (*groooooaaaaaaan*) I said earlier in this review that Bobby has the ability to overcome the hackiness of the “man in drag” trope. Well, Fred, on the other hand, epitomizes the hackiness of the “man in drag” trope (in his later seasons, at least).
— Not even a mere chuckle from me in response to a dummy of Fred’s body being thrown into the shot after Fred’s character first gets hit by a car off-camera.
— Aaaaaaaaaaand the already-bad Fred-gets-hit-by-a-car-off-camera-followed-by-a-dummy-of-his-body-being-thrown-into-the-shot gag gets repeated over and over as the main joke of this sketch. Not only is this painfully unfunny, but it’s not even the first time SNL used this premise. The premise was previously done in that awful Nascarettes sketch (which was also written by James Anderson, IIRC) from the season 32 Jaime Pressly episode.
— Ugh at that ending with the camera showing a close-up of Fred exaggeratedly saying an angry “Yooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu!” at Bill, a quintessential annoying Fred Armisen moment in these later seasons of his SNL tenure.
STARS: *


AFROS
a couple (ANS) & (KRW) shares large hair & wedding announcement

— First Digital Short we’ve gotten in two whole months, which is a shockingly long gap compared to the frequency these Lonely Island shorts typically appear. Yet another sign that the glory days of the Digital Shorts are sadly far behind us this season.
— WHAT IN THE…??? What am I watching?!? I feel like I should at least give credit for creativity, but the alleged creativity of this short ain’t exactly entertaining me.
— Kenan’s hammily-delivered interjections are providing the only thing close to amusement that I’m getting from this short so far.
— WTF at that “Save the date” reveal?
— A poor excuse for an ending.
— Overall, aside from Kenan, this short was wretched. The Digital Shorts continue to have a depressingly rough season. And, man, this short made for a terrible one-two punch with that Delinquent Girl Teen Gang sketch that preceded this.
STARS: *½


B108 FM
morning deejays Richard (TAK) & Buffalo (BOM) mask pathos with enthusiasm

— Bobby and Taran are fun in these roles.
— So far, the sketch’s humor is nothing particularly great, but it’s passable (especially compared to the two unwatchable segments that preceded this), and is helped by the non-Lindsay performers. (Lindsay’s not awful here, but she’s not adding anything for me.)
STARS: ***


CHANTIX
Rerun from 1/7/12


HOUSE SITTING
the mysterious phone calls terrorizing (KRW) are coming from her own butt

— When a neckbrace-wearing Kristen explains to Lindsay what happened to her neck, I kinda like the fake-out with her initially asking “You know what Wesson Oil is?”, and then saying “Yeah, I was on my way to buy some and I got hit by a car.”
— OH, NO. After an upswing (as mild as it was) that the dire quality of this episode’s post-Weekend Update half took with the B108 FM sketch and even the Chantix rerun, it looks like we’re back to awfulness, as Kristen’s tense, suspenseful phone calls throughout this sketch aren’t remotely funny, and are annoyingly repetitive, not helped by how irritating Kristen’s intentional mock-dramatic overacting is.
— A lame butt-dialing reveal.
— Ugh, terrible ending, and something about the execution of it seemed off.
STARS: *


VERIZON
Another repeated commercial (this time from 2/11/12), and so soon after the first repeated commercial tonight? Man, between how horrible most of the last few sketches/shorts have been, and now all of these repeated commercials, this episode has fallen off a cliff HARD in the post-Weekend Update half.


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Sixteen Saltines”


RUDE BUDDHA!
Rude Buddha (ANS) insults & harasses his disciples behind their backs

— Ah, good ol’ Andy, here to hopefully save the dire back half of this episode with his reliable goofiness. (Then again, he was responsible for that dreadful Digital Short earlier tonight, so…)
— Okay, even though I’m still enjoying Andy’s performance here, it turns out that the material of this sketch itself is kind of a wash. Just generic, cliched, ho-hum, “guy acts like an immature jackass” humor, but luckily for SNL, Andy is good at pulling that kind of humor off. In hindsight, knowing this ends up being Andy’s final season, I kinda see certain things about this sketch as a sign that Andy’s on his way out at SNL.
— The “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” ending had me howling.
STARS: ***


70’S ALBUM
Weird Guy By A Fire (JAS) yearns for a collection of music from the ’70s

— Hilarious fake-out with Jason, in the setting of a typical “person advertises an album of musical hits from a past decade” commercial, asking us “Wouldn’t it be great to get songs from the 70s on one 8-disc set?”, and then he just turns away from the camera and casually tends to the fire in his fireplace for a long time, before turning back to the camera and simply asking us, “That’d be great, right?”
— A funny “This has been a weird guy by a fire” ending title reveal. Rather Jack Handey-ish, which I love.
STARS: ****


70’S ALBUM
Weird Guy By A Fire burns his hand when the fireplace flares up

— Ooooookay, so a follow-up to the first 70s Album ad is airing IMMEDIATELY after it, with nothing separating them (not even a real-life commercial break, like what separated Kristen’s first two Glenda Okones For Mayor ads from this season’s Daniel Radcliffe episode)??? Apparently, that wasn’t originally planned, judging by the fact that a simple black screen with the words “70s Album #2” (which was apparently some kind of cue screen for the crew in SNL’s control room) accidentally flashes onscreen for a nanosecond right before this second 70s Album ad plays. Judging from this sloppiness, SNL must be scrambling to fill extra airtime at this point of the show. (I think I recall hearing that these two 70s Album ads originally got cut after dress rehearsal from a then-recent episode.)
— Jason, to us: “Remember that thing I was saying about the 70s music?” Uh, of course we remember, because we literally saw the first 70s Album ad just a few seconds ago. Yeah, more and more, it’s becoming clear that SNL intended these two ads to be separated farther apart in the show. A shame they had to bunch these two ads together in a last-minute mad rush to fill in extra airtime.
— Another funny ending title reveal (“This has been that same guy burning his hand”) after Jason’s reaction to burning his hand (which was funny in itself).
— This overall second 70s Album ad was somewhat marred by it being aired right after the first one, but it still worked well enough for me. I’ve never seen the rerun version of this episode, and I’m a little curious if SNL altered the lineup in it by placing the two 70s Album ads farther apart than they aired in the live show. Thanks in advance if anyone answers.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— The first half of this episode was fine, aside from the monologue, but man, did that post-Weekend Update half have a lot of big problems. Even the sloppiness of SNL airing those two funny 70s Album ads back-to-back instead of spread apart like they were intended to added to the very “off” feel of the post-Update half. (That, combined with SNL airing two repeated commercials fairly close together in the back half, makes me wonder if something went wrong at the show that threw the episode’s scheduled timing off.) Thinking back, the post-Update half actually had as many (if not more than) good segments as it had bad segments, but 1) most of the good segments were nothing special at all and didn’t rise above an average level, and 2) all of the bad segments were so bad that they overshadow the good in that half of the show. Some of the worst segments of this entire season aired in the back half of this episode. As a host, Lindsay Lohan had a really rough go in the Scared Straight sketch, but otherwise, she didn’t hurt this episode. However, she didn’t help it either, and I didn’t get a single laugh from her all night, aside from her “And I’m Lindsay Lohan” reveal in the aforementioned Scared Straight sketch. (Then again, it’s not like she was known to be a laugh riot in her previous hosting stints either.)


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
70’s Album (Part 1)
The Real Housewives Of Disney
2012 Psychic Awards
70’s Album (Part 2)
Weekend Update
Fox Report w/ Shepard Smith
B108 FM
Scared Straight
Rude Buddha!
Monologue
Afros
House Sitting
Delinquent Girl Teen Gang


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Maya Rudolph)
a big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Jonah Hill

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April 15, 2006 – Lindsay Lohan / Pearl Jam (S31 E16)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE SITUATION ROOM
staff turnover yields presidential spokesteen (host)

— I’m surprised to find myself loving that opening theme music of The Situation Room. Catchy and epic.
— This season, SNL seems to be attempting lots of replacements for the phased-out Hardball sketches. In just one season, we’ve gotten non-Hardball political talking head show sketches like Anderson Cooper 360, The O’Reilly Factor, and now The Situation Room, none of which end up enjoying anywhere near the long-term success that the Hardball sketches enjoyed in their prime.
— Nice to see big roles for newbies Jason and Kristen right at top of tonight’s episode.
— Kristen’s delivery of many of her lines is making me laugh. She’s always reliable at getting laughs out of low-key roles like this.
— Meh, not caring for the comedic conceit of Lindsay Lohan’s character during her press conference. After the first minute of this scene, after you’ve gotten the joke, Lindsay’s lines have stopped getting much laughs.
— Yikes, Lindsay’s voice is so unsettlingly scratchy and raspy tonight that it almost completely gave out when she said “Night” at the end of her “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!” I remember on an online SNL message board, during a discussion of this episode right after it originally aired, a board member comically addressed Lindsay’s scratchy, raspy voice by saying “Hmm, I didn’t know Harvey Fierstein was appearing on SNL tonight.”
STARS: **½


MONOLOGUE
host lectures drunk Easter Bunny (KET) about his excessive partying

— Didn’t care for Lindsay’s self-deprecating opening joke, “I think I hosted SNL more times than I’ve wrecked my car.”
— A bit of an odd use of Kenan at this point of his SNL tenure.
— Not caring for the writing of this, and Kenan’s performance is actually fairly irritating and unfunny.
— Blah, Lindsay’s second attempt at self-deprecating humor in this monologue, with her sternly giving the Easter Bunny an intervention (which Lindsay herself was reportedly given backstage at SNL immediately after hosting the preceding season’s finale), is falling flat.
STARS: *½


NEUTROGENA COIN SLOT CREAM
low-cut pants call for Neutrogena Coin Slot Cream buttcrack moisturizer

— Is there any real joke to this, besides the idea of a moisturizer cream for buttcracks, which isn’t exactly something funny enough to base an entire commercial spoof on? Feels kinda like a leftover premise from the awful season 30.
— I will at least give this credit for accurately imitating the visual style of typical Neutrogena commercials, which is the closest to a positive thing I can say about this.
— Overall, blah.
STARS: *


DEEP HOUSE DISH
boring Tiara Zee (RAD) grooves to divas (AMP) & (host)

— (*sigh*) Tonight’s episode had ALREADY not been doing it for me, and now SNL throws THIS recurring sketch at me? You readers probably already know what my reaction to seeing this sketch pop up tonight is. Actually, in my reviews in this SNL project, I haven’t been hating these Deep House Dish sketches as much as I did when they originally aired; I’ve just been extremely meh on these sketches in my reviews, which, while still negative, is at least somewhat of a step up from my seething hatred for these sketches when they originally aired.
— (*sighs again*) Cue the one part of this sketch that I still do hate: the constant, repetitive, and unfunny “Ooh-wee, Tiara, that was so boring”s.
— Hmm, kinda interesting how Fred and Bill are reprising their Jake Gyllenhaal-obsessed singing duo from an earlier Deep House Dish sketch.
— Why weren’t Fred and Bill interviewed after their song, like singers in these sketches usually are?
— I think I spoke too soon about not hating these Deep House Dish sketches anymore, because I have not gotten a single shred of enjoyment from ANYTHING in tonight’s Deep House Dish installment. Either my fatigue towards these sketches has finally set in, or perhaps tonight’s DHD installment just seems worse to me because this episode in general has been putting me in a very bored mood so far.
STARS: *


TV FUNHOUSE
by RBS- kids’ Journey To The Disney Vault reveals unsettling Walt secrets

— During the listing-off of fictional direct-to-DVD Disney sequels, I love how one of them is Bambi 2002, a previous TV Funhouse from season 27.
— A laugh from the quick “101 Fellations” gag, which seems like a variation of the “Pokahotass” gag from the aforementioned TV Funhouse, Bambi 2002. Also, a few days before tonight’s episode originally aired, this 101 Fellations bit was heavily hyped in an online article as something big that would be airing on SNL that weekend and would be including a famous porn star (who’s name I can’t remember at the moment) as one of the “dalmatian” women. One portion of that article interviewed the porn star about the 101 Fellations bit, and the way she described it made it seem like it was going to be an entire full-fledged segment. She went into a whole bunch of detail about the plot and all the various characterizations, as if it was going to be some huge, fleshed-out, standalone segment. Cut to a few nights later when this episode is airing live, and I’m sitting in my living room watching the show like normal, and I find myself utterly baffled to see that 101 Fellations was nothing more than a brief two-second cutaway gag, with no so-called plot or characterizations to speak of. WTF??? Did Robert Smigel originally film 101 Fellations as an entire fleshed-out segment, but ended up editing it down to just a two-second gag, or was the aforementioned porn star just full of shit in that interview?
— I love the voice for the little girl.
— The extremely un-PC “very original version” of Song Of The South is so wrong, but absolutely HILARIOUS.
— A huge laugh from the kids incredulously asking Mickey Mouse “You’re supposed to be FUNNY?!?”
— Great bit with one of the kids finding a still-alive Jim Henson and a Kermit puppet bound and gagged to a chair, which results in Mickey Mouse breaking down in tears while yelling “He wouldn’t sell! He wouldn’t seeeeeeelllllllll!”
— Overall, not only a very strong TV Funhouse, but leave it to Smigel to deliver the first actual good segment in this episode so far.
STARS: ****½


THE O’REILLY FACTOR
Seymour Hersh (FRA) & Newt Gingrich (WLF)

— Shortly after I mentioned SNL’s various failed attempts to replace Hardball as their regular political talking heads show sketch, here’s another one of them tonight. Do we really need this AND The Situation Room in the same episode?
— Feels kinda odd seeing Will play Newt Gingrich.
— I’m starting to get tired of these O’Reilly Factor sketches, as well as Darrell’s non-attempt at sounding like Bill O’Reilly. I know his impression eventually gets better, but it has yet to happen by this point.
— I did get a chuckle from the bit right now with Darrell’s O’Reilly, during a back-and-forth disagreement with Will’s Gingrich, childishly saying an increasingly loud “Yes they are, yes they are, yes they are, YES THEY AAARRRRE!”, and then, after a beat, finishing it off with a soft-spoken and modestly-delivered “Yes they are” while lightly emphasizing his point with his hand.
— I like Will-as-Gingrich’s “last word” being him telling O’Reilly “You gotta read some books, man.”
— The “A-1 dickface” bit in one letter in the mailbag is pretty funny.
STARS: **½


CHOCOLATE CAKE
rich chocolate dessert stirs diners’ (host), (JAS), (RAD), (FRA) emotions

— Much like the Wind sketch from this season’s Jack Black episode, this is another sketch that I recall a few online SNL fans back at this time making comparisons to the dreaded Hot Plates sketch from the preceding season. I recall strongly disagreeing with those comparisons, but we’ll see.
— Jason’s insane reactions to the great taste of the cake are hilarious.
— A lot of increasingly fun maniacal reactions from each person at the table. Jason is definitely running away with this sketch with his reactions, though. He’s phenomenal here.
— I love how one of Fred’s reactions has him tightly tying a belt around his neck.
— A particularly strong and perfectly-timed moment from Jason, where, after Lindsay spins a dummy of him around and then throws it onto the ground behind the table, he IMMEDIATELY hops up high in the air from behind the table and casually dusts himself off, which was SO damn impressive that even the audience applauded.
— Overall, a fun, silly, and well-performed sketch that I pretty much loved. And, unlike the aforementioned Wind sketch with Jack Black, I can actually now kinda see why people compared this to Hot Plates, but this was miles better. This sketch was pretty much what Hot Plates should’ve been.
— I’m not 100% sure, but I think this sketch would later be replaced with the dress rehearsal version in reruns, though off the top of my head, I can’t remember if there were any major differences between it and the live version.
— Speaking of reruns, I recall once catching this sketch a few years ago in a syndicated 60-minute rerun on a cable channel (can’t remember which channel), and this sketch was sped-up so badly in that version that it was pretty much impossible to follow what was going on. Does anyone else remember seeing this sped-up version?
STARS: ****


LASER CATS!
ANS & BIH pitch low-budget feline sci-fi movie to LOM

— Good to see Andy and Bill front and center here, after the extremely-little-to-no-airtime they received in the preceding episode.
— Our very first Laser Cats short, which would go on to be a once-a-year tradition during Andy’s entire SNL tenure.
— Very fun how the extremely cheesy, low-budget action that started in an outdoors park is now taking place in SNL’s backstage, and how there’s no attempt to hide the NBC and SNL-related visuals in the background.
— Funny cutaway to a very deadpan Lorne watching this inane Laser Cats short on the TV.
— When Lindsay refuses to say she’ll have sex with either Andy or Bill, I love the sudden and sloppy splicing-in of a shot of Rachel sitting in Lindsay’s place while wearing a Lindsay Lohan wig and saying “I’ll have sex with both of you guys.”
— The “Get out” ending with Lorne was funny, though it’s something that would be repeated at the end of EVERY SINGLE subsequent Laser Cats short, and doesn’t work for me as a repeated ending gag.
— Overall, lots of good dumb fun all throughout this short. Solid debut for these Laser Cats shorts.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “World Wide Suicide”


WEEKEND UPDATE
meteorologist Stormy Windbreaker (SEM) forecasts apocalyptic weather

American Idol contestant Taylor Hicks (JAS) is full of enthusiasm

— After how increasingly hoarse her voice sounded over the course of the preceding episode, Amy’s voice still sounds slightly on the hoarse side tonight, but definitely nowhere near as bad. I’m also glad SNL hasn’t been overworking her tonight like they did in the preceding episode.
— Seth’s meteorologist segment is a good change of pace for Update. By the way, I think this ends up being Seth’s final appearance on Update before he takes over as Amy’s new Update co-anchor the following season.
— Seth is very solid in this commentary, and he has a lot of funny weather forecast details. And the smart and inspired feel of this commentary is very unusual and refreshing for this dire Fey/Poehler Update era.
— A great ending yell from Seth of the line “REPENT, BITCHES, REPENT!”
— I absolutely love Jason’s portrayal of American Idol’s Taylor Hicks. Yet another example tonight of how solid, hilarious, and fun Jason is as a performer, and how refreshing and desperately needed his presence is on SNL after the awful season 30.
— Very funny comments from Jason’s Hicks regarding his pubic hair.
— A lot of Amy’s jokes tonight are getting a (deservedly) fairly tepid audience reaction.
— Tina closes this Update with by far one of her best jokes in a long time (the teen pregnancy/“Your Mouth Can’t Get Pregnant” joke). That was a joke and delivery worthy of Tina’s first two years at the Update desk, back when she was actually consistently solid as an anchor.
STARS: **½


DEBBIE DOWNER
Debbie Downer deflates (host)’s Las Vegas strip club bachelorette party

— Normally, I’d groan at this sketch popping up tonight, but the last two Debbie Downer installments before this were much better than usual and shook up the formula. Plus, this thankfully ends up being the last Debbie Downer appearance before Rachel leaves the cast. (Years later, Debbie Downer would make a brief walk-on in the cold opening of SNL’s 40th Anniversary Special, and, though I haven’t seen it yet, I’m aware that Debbie Downer has a surprise full-fledged sketch in SNL’s most recent normal, live episode in 2020 before the coronavirus pandemic forced SNL to do taped “At Home” episodes.)
— I recall in an interview Lindsay did earlier in the week of this episode, the interviewer brought up at one point the famous first Debbie Downer sketch from Lindsay’s season 29 episode, and the interviewer asked Lindsay if we can expect to see a new Debbie Downer sketch this weekend. In response, Lindsay claimed that, after initially considering doing the sketch this weekend, she and the people at SNL decided against it. So why is this sketch on my screen right now? People being full of shit during interviews regarding what was or wasn’t going to appear in this episode seems to be a theme, given the whole “101 Fellations” oddity I talked about earlier in this review.
— Lindsay’s excited yell of “ILOVEITILOVEITILOVEIT!” was eerily Helen Madden-esque (Molly Shannon’s character from the Pretty Living sketches), so much so, that I almost wonder if it was an intentional reference, but I highly doubt it.
— Lindsay’s scratchy, raspy voice tonight is sounding particularly rough during certain parts of this sketch.
— Blah, this sketch is pretty awful so far. After we’ve gotten such a nice change of pace in the last two Debbie Downer sketches before this, it’s unfortunate to see them going back to the usual unfunny and tired formula that these sketches normally follow.
— The perpetually-underused Finesse Mitchell makes his ONLY appearance of the entire night in the non-speaking role of a scantily-clad stripper. Just sad. If he’s not fully aware by this point that his days at SNL are beyond numbered, then there’s no hope for this man.
— A noticeable gaffe right now, where the beginning of the “wah-wahhhhhh” sound effect accidentally plays at the wrong time before getting cut off. I’ve seen some people theorize that SNL planned this gaffe, in an attempt to recapture the magic of the first Lindsay Lohan-involved Debbie Downer sketch by starting a major chain reaction of laughing among the performers in this sketch. Rachel responds to this sound effect gaffe by giving an impromptu comical look into the camera while shifting her eyes around, and Lindsay then goes into her scripted angry rant at Debbie Downer while stifling some genuine laughter, but otherwise, this sound effect gaffe doesn’t set off the huge laughing meltdown among the performers that SNL seemingly intended.
— Odd how this didn’t end with the usual pre-taped headshot of Debbie Downer saying a typical depressing one-liner during the ending theme song. The lack of that possibly shows how little effort was put into tonight’s Debbie Downer installment. Rachel was forced to just mug awkwardly into the camera for a long time while the ending theme music played during a live close-up of her.
— Overall, a poor way for the Debbie Downer character to go out. I can’t say I’ll miss her.
STARS: *½


FIRST NIGHT OUT
uptight co-workers Neil (WLF), Jean (KRW), (host) awkwardly get social

— The debut of a sporadically-appearing Forte/Wiig/(whoever’s hosting that week) recurring sketch that I recall loving back when it originally aired.
— Fantastic character voice from Will. Lots of funny subtle mannerisms in Kristen’s voice as well. And even though it initially feels weird seeing 19-year-old Lindsay Lohan playing such an older, mature role like this, her real-life unsettling scratchy, raspy voice tonight actually makes her convincing as the forty-something woman she’s playing here.
— Something about these low-key, subtle, mature characters of Will, Kristen, and Lindsay’s feels refreshing for this SNL era.
— Another pairing tonight of Andy and Bill. Again, I really like that, even though this is just an extremely minor, non-speaking role for them.
— I love Lindsay’s delivery of “Sometimes you gotta say ‘What the mess!’” This sketch contains what I feel is easily the best performance Lindsay has given all night (and maybe her best performance out of all of her hosting stints).
— Poor Chris gets stuck in a very small non-speaking walk-on as a bartender, and he’s only shown from the back. Really, SNL? While it makes sense for you to put Andy and Bill in a useless non-speaking role, given how new they are, how do you give a role like that to a freakin’ 8-year veteran, especially one as proven and reliable as Chris? Then again, speaking of 8-year veterans being very poorly utilized tonight, Horatio has been COMPLETELY shut out of this episode. Ha, certainly no complaints from me there. (And this is actually the SECOND time this season that Horatio has made no appearances in an episode, which further proves how out-of-date he is this season.) Maya’s nowhere to be seen tonight either, because, as I said in my last episode review, she asked Lorne to have these past two episodes off so she can spend more time at home with her new baby.
— Hilarious turn with Will’s introvert character now suddenly detailing the very raunchy night of lovemaking he has planned with his fellow two introverts, details that Will’s character is delivering in his usual soft-spoken, affable voice.
— Overall, this sketch was just as strong as I had remembered it.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Severed Hand”


MOVIE ARCHIVES
Ann-Margret (host) & Liberace (FRA) had no chemistry

— The debut of Fred’s Liberace impression. I smell a whole bunch of hacky gay jokes coming up.
— I do admit to at least getting a laugh from Fred’s facial expression in the initial cutaway to him as Liberace.
— Kristen’s cheesy 1960s dance is pretty funny.
— So far, the gay jokes in this sketch aren’t as awful or cringeworthy as I expected (maybe I was mistakenly thinking of those later Vincent Price sketches that Fred’s Liberace appears in), but they’re still doing nothing for me.
— While the bit at the end with Liberace vomiting just because a woman kissed him is extremely blah, I got an unintended(?) chuckle from Liberace’s male assistant (or whoever he’s supposed to be) in the background just staring at the vomiting Liberace while looking unfazed and emotionless, having no reaction at all to the vomiting he’s witnessing.
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A difficult episode to figure. We got a very rough and worrisome start with the first few segments, pretty much all of which I hated, but then starting with the very strong TV Funhouse cartoon, the remainder of the episode was EXTREMELY hit-and-miss. I’m not even sure whether I like the overall episode or not. Thinking back, I’m pretty sure this episode contained a little more bad than good. We did get a good number of strong highlights, though. Lindsay Lohan did not make much of a case for herself regarding SNL’s questionable decision to bring her back for her THIRD hosting stint in as many years, but I did find her work in the (underrated) First Night Out sketch to be surprisingly solid.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Antonio Banderas)
a slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Legendary five-timer Tom Hanks makes his long-awaited return as a host after a 10-year absence

Posted on

May 21, 2005 – Lindsay Lohan / Coldplay (S30 E20)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

HARDBALL WITH CHRIS MATTHEWS
Michael Isikoff (CHP) & Condoleezza Rice (MAR) on media ethics

— It appears to be a tradition in this era for the seasons finale’s cold opening to be a Hardball sketch, as this is the third consecutive season finale in which that’s happened.
— I’m tired of Darrell’s Chris Matthews always making analogies to some celebrity.
— A cheap laugh from the “Lard Ball” newspaper photo.
— There’s our obligatory reliable appearance from Will’s Zell Miller. And unlike the last time he appeared, we get Will’s actually turning red-faced during his yelling this time. However, I feel like the writing of his dialogue in these Hardball sketches have been getting weaker and weaker lately. It feels like these last two or three Zell Miller appearances have just been relying on the strength of Will’s great yelling, without giving him any actual good dialogue.
STARS: ***


MONOLOGUE
host’s future self (AMP) advises her to slow down & lay off the partying

— Was that awkward opening joke from Lindsay Lohan about hosting SNL as a blonde even supposed to be a joke?
— Not a bad premise of Lindsay being visited by her future self. However, I recall never liking this monologue much.
— When Lindsay incredulously asks “Are we doing porn?!?” after Future Lindsay tells her she’ll be hosting a Cinemax show, I got a laugh from Future Lindsay saying “No, we’re introducing porn! It’s totally different!”
— I’m not getting many laughs here, and this feels kinda uncomfortable to watch in retrospect, knowing how on-point this monologue was in predicting a very trashy and troubled future for Lindsay, which is something I can’t even laugh at anymore. Making this monologue even sadder in retrospect is the fact that, immediately after tonight’s episode ended, Tina and the rest of the cast reportedly staged an intervention for Lindsay backstage, due to so many issues Lindsay was going through (Lindsay would later publicly admit she had a drug and bulimia problem during this period). My details of that intervention and when exactly it occurred may be a little off, as I’m going by my memory of what I once heard years ago, but if I’m correct that the intervention indeed took place right after tonight’s season finale ended, then the fact that, instead of the cast ending a season in a very celebratory manner backstage, the cast ends THIS particular season holding a very somber intervention for a host, is YET ANOTHER sign of what a crappy, troubled season this has been for SNL.
— I got a chuckle from Future Lindsay revealing at the end that she’s only from the year 2007.
STARS: **


WOOMBA
Rerun from 12/18/04


AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL
one-legged Amber loses to insecure (host)

Britney And Kevin: Chaotic- Britney Spears (RAD) & Kevin Federline (SEM) mug & make out

— Much like Hardball, Amy’s one-legged Amber character appearing in the season finale seems to have become a season finale tradition around this time, as this is the second consecutive season finale to have one.
— I never realized until now how impressive it is that Amy can stand on just one leg for such a long time in these Amber sketches without needing to lean on something.
— I got a laugh from Amber confidently telling her opponents “Take a walk, bitches!……cuz I can’t.”
— Boy, is Lindsay looking unhealthily skinny here.
— Both the camerawork and the performers’ timing feel a little off throughout this sketch.
— Rachel as Britney Spears in the pre-taped “Britney and Kevin: Chaotic” promo? Doesn’t Amy usually play Britney? Even though the Chaotic scene is pre-taped, maybe SNL didn’t want Amy having two lead roles in the same sketch.
— They are overdoing the hell out of the “Amber falls over after dancing” gag.
— Ugh, there goes the obligatory farting from Amber. And, man, they’re going really heavy on it here.
— Overall, some laughs, but nothing great as a whole. These Amber sketches have seen better days.
STARS: **


MOVIE THEATRE
costumed Star Wars fans deal with failure to get into Revenge Of The Sith

— Lindsay’s timing during her opening long-winded angry spiel seems off.
— I like the bit with Rob revealing that his excessive back hair is all him and not part of his Chewbacca costume, and then saying “Why do you think I identify with the Wookie as a race?”
— Some funny lines throughout this sketch.
— The “Take it easy, Lando” “How’d he know your name was Lando?” exchange between Seth’s character and the black guys behind him was possibly a hacky joke, but it made me laugh.
— Odd use of Darrell here.
— Not sure how to react to the racial gag with Kenan and Finesse at the end of this.
STARS: ***


TV FUNHOUSE
“Divertor” by RBS- superhero distracts media to nullify political flak

— The voice for Jay Leno is hilarious.
— Ha, the voice for Sinbad is so bad, it’s funny.
— Isn’t Charles Rangel black? Why is he animated as white in this? He’s also given an odd white voice here, though I’m not too familiar with the real Charles Rangel’s voice.
— I’m enjoying the satire in this cartoon, and the celebrity scandals that are created in an attempt to take attention away from national crises.
— Now Bob Dole is the next celebrity in this cartoon to be given a very odd voice. Must be a theme throughout this cartoon.
— The Jenna Elfman scene is a good and much-needed dig at SNL’s corny and sometimes-annoying “sneaker-uppers” (where a cast member impersonating a celebrity suddenly gets confronted by the real celebrity they’re playing). This also may possibly be specifically spoofing the unfunny Paula Abdul/Amy Poehler mess of a cold opening from two episodes prior.
— The ending line about Mike Tyson was very funny.
— The closing credits of this TV Funhouse misspell Kenan’s first name as “Keenan”.
STARS: ****


APPALACHIAN EMERGENCY ROOM
hayseeds seek treatment for strange maladies

— Lindsay is wearing the same cheerleader outfit that Paris Hilton wore in a Merv The Perv sketch earlier this season (side-by-side comparison below).

I get the feeling there’s yet another sketch I’ve seen that same cheerleader outfit in too.
— For the second time tonight, Lindsay has a hard time delivering a very long-winded spiel. Her flubbing her long spiel in this particular sketch causes it to fall badly flat.
— Lindsay did get a laugh from me just now with her anguished line “I think I popped my cooter bone out!” after her character’s failed attempt to display some cheerleader moves.
— Ugh, not only did the “drawing with a sharpie pen stuck in his butt” gag with Chris’ character not work for me, but did they have to throw in an unnecessary fart sound effect during it, especially given the fact that we just had an excessive fart gag in that Amber sketch earlier tonight?
— Overall, with this being the second consecutive Appalachian Emergency Room sketch that I wasn’t too impressed with, I think it’s safe to say I’ve finally officially gotten tired of this recurring sketch after liking its first few installments. Luckily, there’s only two installments of this sketch remaining, and IIRC, the next one in the following season’s Jack Black episode is actually pretty solid.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Speed Of Sound”


WEEKEND UPDATE
lesbian partners (RAD) & (MAR) exhibit typical marriage-induced foibles

Vicente Fox’s (FRA) apology to Al Sharpton (KET) leads to racial jokes

— Jesus Christ, Tina’s execution of that opening Saddam Hussein headline photo bit was TERRIBLE. The camerawork was also very awkward during that part too (which is my second time tonight pointing out the camerawork being off during something in this episode).
— I’m pretty sure Rachel’s wearing the same wig she wore in the famous Key Party sketch earlier this season (side-by-side comparison below).

— Ugh at the joke of Tina mistaking Maya and Rachel’s lesbian couple for men, a joke that not only hasn’t aged well at all, but was cringey and hacky even back in 2005.
— Ugh again, I can see this Maya/Rachel commentary is going to be a parade of bad lesbian stereotypes. Then again, what else do you expect from season 30, a season hyperfocused on hacky gay stereotype humor?
— Overall, not a single laugh from me during the Maya/Rachel lesbian couple commentary.
— Ugh yet again, this time at Tina and Amy’s clapter-inducing anti-War In Iraq jokes throughout this Update.
— At separate points in tonight’s Update, both Tina AND Amy have flubbed their delivery of a joke. For Amy, it unfortunately happens during what was her final joke of this season, which she comically lampshades in fake frustration during an ad-lib. Her screwing up her last joke of the season is an unintentionally perfect way to sum up just how horrible of a season she’s had during her first year as an Update anchorperson.
— Fred’s Vicente Fox telling Kenan’s Al Sharpton an offensive pizza-related joke about black people gave me a good laugh, and strangely feels like a joke that would’ve fit perfectly in an Update commentary from Ritchie B & Marcus (Fred’s deaf comedian character and his interpreter, played by Kenan), which is funny, because, like this Vicente Fox/Al Sharpton commentary, the Ritchie B and Marcus commentaries pair Fred and Kenan together.
— I’m actually really liking the touchy racial jokes from Fred’s Fox and Kenan’s Sharpton about each other’s culture. Racial humor like that can be hard for SNL to pull off without crossing a line, but I feel this is finding the right balance.
STARS: **


PRINCE SHOW
Nick Lachey (WLF) & Jessica Simpson (host) pop in

— Ugh. I am so tired of these overly formulaic Prince Show sketches.
— Aaaaaand there goes season 30’s obligatory weekly instance of Maya singing.
— Yet another sketch tonight where Lindsay’s unhealthy-looking skinniness is bothering and distracting me.
— Lindsay and Will are coming off so ill-fitting in the role of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. Will in particular. I couldn’t in a million years buy him as Nick Lachey.
— Ugh, why does Kenan play almost EVERY single black female role exactly the same? The real Wanda Sykes has a very distinctive voice, but of course, Kenan’s just playing her the same way he plays Star Jones and almost every other black female celebrity he’s impersonated up to this point in his SNL tenure.
— They are overdoing the fucking HELL out of the cutaways to Prince’s “laughing” at Wanda Sykes’ jokes.
STARS: *½


ITALIAN FAMILY
(HOS)’s enraged moll (host) destroys furnishings of his gangster hangout

— Oh, no. This feels like an indirect sequel/variation of that awful sketch from this season’s Robert DeNiro episode where Horatio was a cop going undercover in the mafia.
— Aaaaaand there goes Horatio’s awful habit of awkwardly pausing for a long time before delivering a line.
— Speaking of awful Horatio Sanz habits, he’s, of course, smirking his way though this entire sketch when his character is supposed to be upset. (*sigh*) Only one season left to put up with Horatio’s typical bullshit on SNL.
— A very weak and one-note premise with Lindsay breaking every object in the room.
— I got a cheap laugh from Rachel’s VERY broad Italian stereotype performance, even though her and Darrell’s scene came off pointless and awkwardly staged.
— SNL’s really wasting Jason in this sketch, his only appearance of the entire night.
— All of the gangsters pulling a gun on Lindsay when she’s about to break a photo of Frank Sinatra was the first genuinely funny gag in this otherwise bad sketch.
— Oof, that “They’re gettin’ along a lot better these days” punchline was AWFUL.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Fix You”


RIDE HOME
tipsy lech (CHP) fails to arouse interest of teenage babysitter (host)

— Aaaaaaand the final live sketch of the troubled season 30 just so happens to be a sketch that is eerily similar to a VERY notorious, off-putting, and punchline-less sketch from the also-troubled season 20, in which Chris Elliott as a sleazy husband drives his family’s underage babysitter (played by Mark McKinney in drag) home, and, during the car ride, gets her drunk and eventually has his way with her.
— Yeah, so far, this sketch is giving me WAAAAYYYY too many reminders of that horrible Elliott/McKinney sketch, and the similarities are very unsettling to me. How the holy fuck do you end a season like this, SNL?!?
— I do kinda like Chris’ singing of Green Day’s “Boulevard of Broken Dreams”.
— This sketch at least ends on a twist that DOESN’T involve Chris getting Lindsay’s underage character drunk and having sex with her, as Maya suddenly pops up from under the backseat as Chris’ wife. Aside from the dirty deed this thankfully prevented Chris from doing with Lindsay, that twist did nothing for me.
STARS: *


BEAR CITY
by T. Sean Shannon- an anthropomorphic ursine watches porn

— This ends up being the final appearance of Bear City.
— A hilarious extensive, lengthy gag with a teenage bear’s mother walking in on him…uh…enjoying himself while watching a bear porno.
— An overall great way for the Bear City shorts to go out. I’m glad that I’ve come around on these shorts, given my very low opinion of them back when they originally aired.
STARS: ****


GOODNIGHTS

— Horatio can be seen holding up a sign that states “Good luck P P”, referring to SNL writer Paula Pell, who we then get a special close-up of onstage. She’s departing from the show to work on a then-upcoming new NBC sitcom called, I think, Thick And Thin. However, the sitcom (who’s cast was to include SNL’s own Chris Parnell, who actually misses a few early SNL episodes in the following season to film some Thick And Thin episodes) would end up never making it to air.

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A fitting way to end a lousy season, as this was a lousy finale. The post-Weekend Update half of this episode was particularly terrible, aside from the fun final Bear City short. Add in some off performances from a troubled and unhealthy Lindsay Lohan, and you have a very rough season finale.
— Good freakin’ riddance to this wretched season. It was hell for me to review, and I reviewed seasons 6, 11, and 20, all very infamous as the three “disaster seasons” of SNL, yet none of which made me as miserable to review as THIS season did. I absolutely believe this season NEEDS to be universally recognized by people as being right down there with seasons 6, 11, and 20 as one of the worst seasons of the show, even though the media, SNL books, etc. never acknowledge it as such, thus letting this season undeservedly go scot-free in terms of its reputation. Before covering this season in this SNL project of mine, I personally have always strongly disliked season 30, but definitely didn’t feel it was comparable to seasons 6, 11, and 20. After doing these episode reviews, however, I was surprised to discover that this season was even worse than I had ever remembered. Just…“oof” is all I can say after reviewing this season. Though I don’t know if I would say this THE worst season ever, I wouldn’t be surprised if my total rating average for this season as a whole ends up being the lowest ever.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Will Ferrell)
a big step down


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS ENTIRE SEASON, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS OVERALL SEASON STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (2003-04)
a mild step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Season 31 begins, with Steve Carell as a host, two new cast members, and the debut of SNL airing in High Definition and widescreen

Posted on

May 1, 2004 – Lindsay Lohan / Usher (S29 E18)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

PREPARATION
Dick Cheney (DAH) coaches George W. Bush (WLF) before 9/11 testimony

— It’s both odd and kinda redundant how this is the second consecutive cold opening with Darrell’s Dick Cheney preparing someone for their 9/11 testimony (Condoleezza Rice last time, President Bush this time).
— Will makes his first appearance as present-day Bush, after previously playing young Bush in a 1960s sketch.
— President Bush: “I’m George W. Bush, and I approve this muffin.”
— Dick Cheney to President Bush, regarding the public’s perception of him: “They think you’re like Rain Man… without the math skills.”
— Bush reading his answers off of his leg is really funny.
— Is it just me, or does Darrell’s Cheney voice sound kinda hoarse in this cold opening? Is Darrell under the weather this week?
— Some pretty good laughs from Bush’s various examples of body language.
— Will’s Bush impression continues to be a lot of fun and a big step up from both Chris and Darrell’s takes on Bush. It also helps that Will has been given better writing here than Chris and Darrell typically got in their respective Bush sketches.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
host, Hilary Duff (RAD), Avril Lavigne (AMP) end their respective feuds

— Seeing a young, baby-faced, loaded-with-potential Lindsay Lohan makes 2004 feel so long ago.
— Oh, the innocent days where the worst thing that could be seen about Lindsay Lohan in a tabloid is her little “teen queen” feud with Hilary Duff.
— The return of Amy’s Avril Lavigne, which never fails to amuse me. What makes it even more amusing this time around is the fact that Avril Lavigne is actually the musical guest in the very next episode.
— Chris: “When do you turn 18?” Hilary Duff: “(in a gleeful manner) Never!”
STARS: ***


TURLINGTON’S LOWER BACK TATTOO REMOVER
Turlington’s (CHP) Lower Back Tattoo Remover erases age-discrepant art

— A huge laugh from the time-lapsed sequence of a “Pretty Lady” tattoo on a thin woman’s back turning into the words “Pretty Sad” when her body has grown much older and saggier. I remember when this originally aired back in 2004, I didn’t even notice that the sagging tattoo read “Pretty Sad”, and thus, I didn’t understand why Chris subsequently said the line “Pretty sad indeed.”
— Great bit with Amy exclaiming “Mother(*bleep*)!” in response to the tattoo remover burning her skin.
— As usual, Chris is fantastic as the spokesperson.
— Very funny ending bit about Amy having a child from a crazy weekend in Jamaica.
STARS: ****


JARRET’S ROOM
stoner (host) moves in & meets a weed-smoking robot

— This ends up being the final Jarret’s Room sketch.
— I remember when tonight’s episode originally aired, I and some other online SNL fans were surprised that SNL didn’t save Jarret’s Room for the following week’s episode, given a certain weed-lover who’s hosting that night (you’ll see who it is at the every end of this review) and who seemed like he would fit perfectly into the weed-centric Jarret’s Room.
— Wow, DJ Jonathan Feinstein’s Britney Spears/Toxic bit got cut off surprisingly fast by Jarret. Was SNL afraid of giving some viewers certain “feelings” over seeing Seth in that bodysuit?
— For once, Gobi makes a straightforward entrance instead of one of his trademark weed-centric gimmicky entrances.
— Jarret mentions that he and Gobi are finally moving off campus after tonight’s episode. I recall how, when this originally aired, many online SNL fans took this as a sign that Jimmy’s leaving SNL at the end of this season. IIRC, Jimmy’s departure wouldn’t be publicly confirmed until earlier in the same day of his final episode.
— A funny asinine flashback sequence of something that we saw happen literally just a few seconds ago.
— The Will Forte-voiced weed-smoking robot is absolutely stealing this sketch and is making this easily one of the better Jarret’s Room installments. A good way for this recurring sketch to go out.
STARS: ***½


HOGWARTS ACADEMY
Hermione’s (host) newfound cleavage bewitches Harry Potter (RAD)

— Hoo, boy. Here comes a sketch that…uh, will certainly be…uh, interesting to discuss by today’s standards.
— And there famously walks in Lindsay as a cleavage-sporting Hermoine.
— As just a 19-year-old when this sketch originally aired during the less-self-aware year of 2004, I had no issue with SNL doing a sketch inappropriately centering around a 17-year-old’s cleavage. 19-year-old me even partook in this sketch’s male characters’ ogling of said cleavage, as much as I don’t want to admit that anymore. Now that I’m in my mid-30s and times have certainly changed, I’m able to recognize how troublesome this sketch is. It’s a shame that this sketch doesn’t hold up too well anymore, because I recall liking this sketch a lot back when it originally aired… and, no, not just because of Lindsay’s cleavage. 19-year-old me got a lot of laughs from the sketch’s humor, performances, and plenty of what I deemed to be quote-worthy lines. (Unfortunately, my old review for this episode that I did back in 2004 when this episode originally aired is lost, unlike most of the other season 29 reviews that I originally did back then.) The fact that Harry Potter was something I was never into, and yet this sketch could still get a lot out laughs out of 19-year-old me says a lot about this sketch.
— An amusing visual of Horatio entering in that wig and beard.
— Ugh, right after I give Horatio a compliment, he has to piss all over it by cracking up at himself as usual.
STARS: **½


RIDING WITH BILLY JOEL
erratic chauffeur Billy Joel (HOS) sings while driving recklessly

— A funny spoof of Billy Joel’s drunk-driving woes from around this time, even if it feels kinda wrong for SNL to spoof such a thing. (Then again, the Harry Potter sketch that I had just watched prior to this sketch has kinda numbed me to other cases of “wrong” humor on SNL).
— I’ve been one of Horatio’s harshest critics this season, and even *I* can admit that he’s doing a killer job in his portrayal of a drunken Billy Joel.
— A memorable blooper in which a mailbox that gets thrown onto the car from off-camera gets stuck on the windshield accidentally, which completely blocks the performers from the camera, leaving the female performers in genuine hysterics. Horatio solves this predicament with an ad-lib in which he leans out of the car window to his side and uses his beer bottle to shove the mailbox off of the windshield. Excellent save from Horatio.
— Speaking of the mailbox, I wonder if that’s the same mailbox that was used in a similar manner then-recently in the Donnie G. And Sidecar sketch from the Ben Affleck episode.
— Wow, a particularly over-the-top shriek of “YOU NEED HELP, BUSTER!!!” from Maya to Horatio’s Billy Joel.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Ludacris [real] perform “Yeah!”


WEEKEND UPDATE
list-loving Jorge Rodriguez (HOS) failed the GED test many times

— A very odd and unprecedented moment in SNL history occurs right now, in which, right as Jimmy’s about to deliver a joke (a Donald Trump joke, no less), a voice from a real audience member actually interrupts the show by audibly calling out “Hey, Jimmy?”, and Jimmy immediately turns towards the voice in the audience and responds “Yeah?” (which says something about Jimmy, as I feel most Weekend Update anchors would’ve just ignored an audience member calling out their name). The audience member then says what sounds like “Yeah, up here” (it’s hard to tell exactly what he said, as he’s speaking from quite a distance and obviously isn’t mic’ed), and Jimmy just goes “I’ll talk to you later on, my brother” and then ad-libs towards the camera “I hate when my father gets drunk” (which I swear is an ad-lib Jimmy also used in a previous Update, but I’m not 100% sure). There’s actually a backstory to this whole incident. According to an online comment in 2004 from an SNL fan who stood on the standby line to get tickets for this episode, there was a guy on the line who kept obnoxiously bragging to everybody that if he gets a ticket to the show, he’s going to make SNL history by interrupting the show from the audience and asking Jimmy Fallon a question during Weekend Update. Most of the people on the standby line probably assumed the guy was just bluffing, but as they later saw, he ended up following through on his word.
— The Bill Clinton book cover that SNL made up (first screencap below) reminds me a lot of a made-up book cover that SNL used in a presidential address cold opening that Darrell’s Clinton did in the Julianne Moore episode from season 23 (second screencap below).

— Meh, another Horatio Update commentary with him interacting with Jimmy, which almost always spells doom.
— Horatio’s at least not going off the rails with typical unfunny ad-libs and laughing-at-himself antics that his Update commentaries often feature, but ugh, this commentary with his character listing off a whole bunch of things is comedy death to me.
— When Horatio’s character asks if anyone’s seen his friend Pepe, Jimmy ad-libs “I think he was just up there”, pointing towards the portion of the audience that the aforementioned audience member who interrupted Jimmy earlier in tonight’s Update was seated. When the audience is laughing and applauding this ad-lib of Jimmy’s, Jimmy can be heard saying “He got removed”, acknowledging that the audience member got kicked out for his interruption.
— Tonight’s Update is doing quite a number of callbacks to bits Jimmy and Tina did earlier this season, such as Jimmy and Tina’s conversation about dirty Dutch terms, and the punchline of an STD joke being Jimmy turning to a side camera and saying “You’re welcome”.
STARS: **½


DEBBIE DOWNER
at Disney World, gloomy Debbie Downer (RAD) dispirits a family reunion

— Oh, here’s a VERY famous SNL sketch.
— My first laugh in this sketch comes from Kenan’s name being Billiam. Even just his delivery of that name is inherently funny.
— I like how the opening title sequence and theme music feel kinda like a throwback to SNL’s late 80s/early 90s era, which had tons of characters with their own opening title sequence and theme song. I recall this Debbie Downer sketch being the beginning of somewhat of a revival of title sequences and theme songs for recurring characters, as we’ll be seeing quite a number of them the following two seasons.
— Naturally, Jimmy and Horatio are the very first performers to break in this sketch (the fifth above screencap for this sketch), while the other performers initially remain unfazed.
— And there we go. Rachel’s line flub, “The media’s so sensitive there… so secretive…”, as well as Jimmy’s laughter at said line flub, is what officially causes Rachel to start losing it, setting off a chain reaction around the table. The famous widespread meltdown has officially begun.
— Wow. Just wow. It is truly something to see this sketch gradually meltdown so badly. Very unprecedented in SNL history up to this point. (Seems to be quite a number of unprecedented moments happening tonight). I’m usually against how unprofessional this particular SNL cast has slowly been becoming around this season, and of course, I’ve been very vocal of my dislike of the undeserved free rein Jimmy and Horatio are often given to carelessly derail sketches with their laughing and other unprofessional antics, but goddammit, everybody’s breaking is a fucking RIOT in this sketch, and their simultaneous laughter combined with the audience’s uproarious reactions is very infectious.
— What makes Rachel’s breaking here even funnier is the fact that, as part of the sketch, the camera has to frequently do “Wah-wahhhhh” zoom-ins on Debbie Downer’s face, and thus, we get lots of zoom-ins of Rachel fighting unsuccessfully to keep a straight face so she can do her character’s trademark deadpan looks into the zoomed-in camera.
— Now here comes one PARTICULARLY epic part, and the moment that, in my opinion, officially propels this sketch into legendary status: Rachel literally crying with laughter when struggling to deliver the big line “By the way, it’s official: I can’t have children.” A freakin’ classic moment.
— Another truly classic moment right now, with Horatio being seen using a fucking MICKEY MOUSE WAFFLE to wipe off his tears from laughter.
— Fred is the ONLY performer keeping a straight face (aside from what appeared to be genuine giggling from him after he and the others posed together for a photo). According to an SNL fan who went to this episode and was also among a crowd of people outside 30 Rock getting autographs from cast members after the show, Fred, while giving autographs, was asked why he didn’t join in on his fellow performers’ laughing in the Debbie Downer sketch. Fred explained that he had no clue why they were laughing and he didn’t feel that he should laugh just because THEY were laughing. A very admirable display of professionalism from Fred. Too bad it wouldn’t last, though, as his later seasons on the show are quite fraught with breaking from him, especially whenever he teams up with Bill Hader.
— Overall, a historic, legendary, and hilarious meltdown among the performers, with a few very memorable and great little ad-libs, making this sketch an all-timer. I can definitely see some people finding this sketch overrated, but for me, this sketch deserves the hype.
— It’s really too bad that the importance and novelty of this sketch is slightly diminished by the fact that SNL would turn this into a recurring sketch later on – a bad decision. It should’ve been obvious to SNL that the only reason this first Debbie Downer sketch was such an instant hit is because of the huge extent that the performers broke during it. The written material itself was only mildly funny at best. And the very tepid, blooper-less second installment of this sketch, in the following season’s Ben Affleck-hosted season premiere, pretty much bombs with the audience and further proves how not-so-great the written material behind Debbie Downer always was, and how wrong it was for SNL to assume people wanted to see more of these sketches without the performers breaking.
STARS: *****


CLUB TRAXX
hook of young pop duo D.A.D.I. (RAD) & (host) is lesbianism

— Ugh, this sketch once again. This thankfully ends up being the final installment.
— The clip of Amy performing dance music onstage (the second above screencap for this sketch) truly looks like something straight out of Deep House Dish, a recurring sketch that SNL would debut a few seasons later (and would draw my ire, as I I recall absolutely despising those sketches with a fiery passion back when they originally aired). It even looks like Amy’s performance in this Club Traxx sketch is using the exact same Deep House Dish performance stage and exact same Deep House Dish onscreen graphic of the  singer’s name and title of the song they’re performing, though I’m only going by my memory of what Deep House Dish typically looked like (I haven’t watched an installment of that sketch in ages).
— I’m getting a pretty good laugh from Will’s open-shirt performance.
— The D.A.D.I. stuff with Rachel and Lindsay is doing nothing for me.
— Nothing else to say so far. I’ve complained enough about this recurring sketch in past installments, and am ready to happily see this sketch enter retirement.
STARS: *½


SLEEPOVER
hyper preteen Kaitlin (AMP) welcomes sleepover veteran (host) to her home

— The debut of another recurring sketch that I recall despising with a fiery passion back when it originally aired. I’ll try to go into this debut with an open mind tonight, as I’ve seen some people make a good case when defending this recurring sketch.
— This recurring sketch debut was cut from the preceding episode, where I assume host Janet Jackson played the same role Lindsay is playing here.
— I’m actually finding a slice-of-life-ish charm to this sketch, just like defenders of this recurring sketch always claim it has. I especially like the charm of Amy-as-Kaitlin’s interactions with Horatio’s Rick, particularly when he helps get her out of a lie she told Lindsay regarding having a pool. Also, as people always point out about these sketches, it’s astounding how the usually breakable Horatio is consistently able to keep a straight face at Amy screaming in his face.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Burn”


17TH ANNUAL ADULT MOVIE AWARDS
fear of FCC produces truncated broadcast

— Some pretty good cheap laughs from the endless barrage of fictional porn star names.
— I like the little joke of some non-porn-star celebrity names being thrown into the mix, such as Jimmy Kimmel and SNL’s own Darrell Hammond.
STARS: ***


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A fun episode; in fact, it’s easily one of the more upbeat episodes of this season. This episode wasn’t perfect, but, unlike a lot of this season’s episodes, it had a consistently entertaining and fun vibe that made even some of the misfires more forgivable. There were even some all-time memorable and funny bloopers, such as the Billy Joel mailbox-on-the-windshield incident and the entire Debbie Downer sketch.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Janet Jackson)
a mild step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Snoop Dogg