May 12, 1984 – Billy Crystal, Mayor Ed Koch, Edwin Newman, Father Guido Sarducci, and Betty Thomas / The Cars (S9 E19)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
Sammy Davis, Jr. (BIC) breakdances & sings with Frank Sinatra (JOP)

       

— Yet another extensive season 9 pre-taped segment that signals the upcoming heavy usage of pre-tapes next season.
— Very funny visual of the limo “driving” backwards from Radio City to NBC.
— LOL at the random 80s breakdancer outside 30 Rock. I also liked Joe-as-Sinatra’s sour response to seeing that: “Look at this crap these crazy kids are into nowadays.”
— That obviously must be a double in Billy Crystal’s place as he’s breakdancing, but the editing made it look pretty convincing.
— An on-camera appearance from Don Pardo!
— I liked Don’s facial reaction to Joe’s Sinatra sending him to get towels.
— I’m enjoying how extensive this whole cold opening feels.
— Fairly fun musical performance from Joe and Billy.
— Nice way of working in “Live from New York…”
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
(no synopsis available)

   

— Heh, Billy’s still removing his Sammy Davis Jr. makeup. I had been wondering during the cold opening how Billy was going to get all that dark makeup off in time for the monologue.
— Very interesting seeing FIVE hosts all on the SNL stage at the same time.
— That’s it? It’s over already? This featured literally nothing. The hosts came out on stage and then we’re told “We’ll be right back” and that was it. This is kinda disappointing, as I was looking forward to seeing what they would do for a monologue with five hosts.
STARS: N/A (not a rateable segment)


SARDUCCI & NELSON
Father Guido Sarducci & Willie Nelson (JIB) join to do an album of duets

 

— Funny pairing.
— Wow, Father Guido Sarducci actually has a really nice singing voice. Who knew?
— What was with the “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers”/”You don’t sing me love songs” mix-up? Seemed like it was a genuine blooper.
— The humor in this sketch seems to be dying down after the main joke has been well established.
— Okay, they won me back over with the ending.
STARS: ***


MAYOR KOCH’S NEIGHBORHOOD
Worthington Clotman says no more “buy my book”

   

— A very funny concept with Ed Koch in place of Mister Robinson.
— I was surprised to hear an on-air acknowledgment of Eddie Murphy’s SNL departure.
— LOL at Koch’s attempt at doing the “Mister Robinson surprised face” close-up bit.
— Interesting seeing Tim’s Worthington Clotman outside of Saturday Night News.
— Kind of a weird ending, but the sketch as a whole still worked.
STARS: ***½


MIKKO’S GOT YOUR NOSE SAFETY GUARD
prevents accidental child rhinoplasty

    

— Julia’s skin looks darker than usual for some reason.
— Actually, so does Joe’s.
— Hilarious sudden sight gag with Julia’s face projectile bleeding after Joe unintentionally pulls off her nose.
— I love Joe’s panicking when he finally realizes he has Julia’s severed nose in his hand. This sketch is hilarious.
— A great “How many times has THIS happened to you?” from Brad as the spokesperson.
— Overall, one of the great gory projectile-bleeding sketches in SNL history.
STARS: ****


GUIDO ON THE STREET
Father Guido Sarducci asks various questions to Manhattan commuters

   

— I like the part with one guy telling Sarducci the four ways to skin a cat.
— If you know me, you’ll know that I love how Sarducci’s now asking a Three Stooges question.
— I’m enjoying the fast pacing of this as well as Sarducci’s absurd questions.
— Good ending with him hitching a ride in the backseat of a police car.
STARS: ***


NEEDLEMAN
nerdy oral surgeon’s (GAK) dating service tape is music video-like

       

— “Video date?” Oh, I think this is going to be to the Needleman video that I’ve always been dying to see.
— Jim’s creepy video was pretty funny.
— Yep, here comes Gary as Ira Needleman. It’ll be interesting to see how his normal-so-far intro will transition into the famous music video.
— Yes! Here’s his music video! This is ALREADY coming off awesome so far.
— The “spit” part with the female dancers was hilarious.
— I’m loving the sudden slow tempo change when Needleman is listing off his likes and what he wants in a girl.
— Man, they are going ALL OUT out for this.
— Overall, this did not let me down. This was just as fantastic as legend had me expecting, and featured a phenomenal job by Gary. And much like “Look At Our Video” from a few episodes ago, this is another example of this season doing a very dead-on, detailed parody of then-contemporary music videos.
— Gary would go on to credit this piece as being the thing that got him a third season on SNL. I believe he said if it weren’t for this sketch, he most likely would’ve gotten fired after this season like he originally did after his first season (before Brad Hall stood up for him and convinced Ebersol to immediately re-hire him).
STARS: *****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Drive”


SATURDAY NIGHT NEWS
Dr. Ruth Westheimer (MAG) says she learned all about sex from her mother
Dr. Jack Badofsky lists medical disorders named after celebrities
Fernando is miffed because he thought he would anchor the news

       

— Edwin Newman does the SNL news once again.
— First time we’ve seen Mary’s Dr. Ruth in quite a while.
— Didn’t care too much for the sight gag of Dr. Ruth’s mother being so short that she can’t be seen over the desk.
— Mary’s overall Mother’s Day commentary was okay.
— Edwin’s delivery seems unusually slow tonight, even moreso than it usually is. I’m not liking it as much as I liked his delivery when he hosted earlier this season.
— Funny delay with the beginning of Tim’s commentary while he’s seen still applying his clip-on microphone.
— It took Tim a while to get into character before speaking, thanks to the aforementioned delay.
— Here’s our last-ever Dr. Jack Badofsky commentary.
— LOL at the negative audience reaction to the “Syphyllis Schlafly” pun.
— And that’s the official end for Dr. Jack. Tonight’s appearance was fine, though no particular puns here stood out to me and I was a little disappointed we didn’t get the usual great ad-lib out of Tim at any point during this.
— Here’s Fernando making yet another Saturday Night News appearance this season.
— Boy, Billy has really been running the “You look mahvelous” catchphrase in the ground these last few episodes. I don’t like how he always has to spend the first 30 seconds of his Fernando appearances just going on and on about how the audience and whoever is next to him “look mahvelous”. It’s not a good sign when I’ve ALREADY gotten tired of that catchphrase before we’ve even reached Billy’s stint as a cast member in season 10.
— Edwin charming his way into convincing Fernando to let him continue doing the news tonight was fairly funny.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Magic”


HELLO, TRUDY!
Edwin nearly jeopardizes the show’s future

   

— The return of this solid sketch from earlier this season. As I said last time, I’m a little wary over how this will turn out as a recurring sketch, since it doesn’t seem like the type of premise that will lend itself well to repetition.
— I liked Edwin’s “Oh, brother…” when Trudy calls a second time.
— Funny how Trudy is making a reluctant Jim do increasingly ridiculous things to Edwin.
— Surprising turn with Trudy angrily quitting as a viewer of this show.
— Oh, Jim eventually won her back over.
— Jim pushing Edwin away just as he was about to give Trudy advice was pretty funny.
— Overall, this second installment of “Hello, Trudy” surprisingly worked. I’m glad they didn’t just repeat the exact same premise from the first installment of this sketch, and Edwin made for a really good foil here.
STARS: ***½


JOEL HODGSON
Joel Hodgson [real] plays Mystery Date with audience & uses the Levitron

       

— During her intro, Betty Thomas (in her first non-monologue appearance of the whole night, by the way) noticeably announces Joel Hodgson as “Joel Hodges”.
— The “Mystery Date” part seems a little weird, especially the jingle Joel’s singing, which the audience is giving immediate recognition laughter to. It must be parodying something I’m not familiar with.
— A good laugh from Joel sending the Mystery Date-losing audience member away bowling.
— What’s with the random repeated buzzer sound throughout this?
— Oh, I see, the buzzer is reminding him to eat a Pez. Funny running bit.
— Amusing reveal of how he did the “Levitron” trick.
— Haha, oh my god at the bit with him demonstrating the insane costume invention he made involving snakes-in-a-can.
— Overall, an okay Joel Hodgson appearance (his final one on SNL, I believe), though this was slower-paced than usual. I prefer the tighter pacing of some of his earlier appearances.
STARS: ***


KARATE SCHOOL
the Three Stooges (GAK), (JOP), (TIK) teach a women’s self-defense class

     

— Sad that Betty Thomas is just NOW making her first actual sketch appearance of the night.
— A Three Stooges sketch!!! Oh, you KNOW I’m going crazy over this.
— Weird seeing “Moe” being so much shorter than his fellow Stooges.
— As always, great Curly impression from Joe.
— Tim and Gary are also doing pretty well in their impressions.
— This is an absolutely dead-on parody of the Stooges so far.
— Ha, Joe’s pants accidentally fell down!!! Hilarious blooper.
— And now the pants fell down again!
— Love how all the performers (especially the female cast members) have lost their composure due to the aforementioned blooper.
— Great ending with the ladies imitating the Stooges’ mannerisms and chasing them around the room while the Stooges’ theme music “Listen to the Mockingbird” plays.
— Overall, I loved this sketch, probably more than most people do. I’m biased because this really appealed to me as a Stooges fanatic, and had a classic blooper to boot.
STARS: ****


GOODNIGHTS

 


IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS:
— A pretty strong season-ender. We got some great sketches tonight, nothing flopped too badly at all, and the novelty of having five hosts gave the show an exciting feel. Part of me wishes this experiment with having a season finale be hosted by five different people who hosted earlier in the season was occasionally done again in some of the later years, though I can kinda understand why they kept it a one-time thing.

— My copy of this episode is missing a sketch at the end of the show called “Sushi Restaurant”, which features all five of tonight’s hosts and has something to do with Godzilla terrorizing a Japanese restaurant. Interesting-sounding premise and it would’ve been fun to see how it managed to work all five hosts into one sketch, which sounds like a nice way to end this special season finale.

— Tonight ended up being the final episode for Joe Piscopo, Robin Duke, Brad Hall, and Tim Kazurinsky, which is quite a shake-up for SNL. I know Joe left on his own, and I’m assuming the same goes for Tim.  I know Brad was fired, and I’m guessing Robin was as well. [ADDENDUM: According to some comments I received, it turns out all four performers were fired, including Joe and Tim. Wow.] Of the four of them, Joe and Tim will be the most missed, as they both played an important part to the show these last few seasons and were very versatile and often reliable. Robin was usually always good, but the problem with her tenure was that she often suffered from being very underused and wasted, which made her come off invisible at times. I had issues with Brad as a performer during his first season-and-a-half, and I figured when he got removed from his anchorperson role on Saturday Night News in the middle of this season that he would have practically nothing left to do for the remainder of the season, as he had never been known to be a standout sketch performer. I was surprised to find out that not only was he not as invisible in the second half of this season as I predicted, but he actually began growing on me more and more during the last few months of the season. The issues I used to have with him were gradually fading away as he was starting to develop into a quietly solid performer. As I said in a recent review, I wonder if that growth would’ve continued had he been brought back next season.

— Season 9 as a whole was a very interesting one. With the show’s megastar Eddie Murphy half-gone for most of the year, you’d think that would spell trouble for the show considering how heavily they used to lean on him to carry the show and how he was the main reason many people tuned into SNL, but the show surprisingly ended up managing to still do well without his dominance this season. (And let’s be honest: even in some of the appearances Eddie DID make this season, he came off kinda complacent and seemed like he was ready to move on from SNL) The addition of Jim Belushi to the cast helped, as he turned out to have a great first year and added a new energy to the show. Another addition that helped this season was new writer Andy Breckman, who added a lot of much-needed creativity to the writing and who’s conceptual, hilarious, premise-driven sketches were usually always a highlight of the show. Yet another interesting thing is how some unique aspects of next season started forming in the last quarter of THIS season: the writing style started to shift quite a bit, we started getting more and more reliance on strong pre-taped pieces, Billy Crystal was getting more and more involved with the show, and the penultimate episode’s musical guest (Spinal Tap) consisted of members who would all either be part of next season’s cast or would host that season at one point. Very intriguing to watch the whole gradual transition from season 9 to season 10.


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Barry Bostwick):
— about the same


HOW THIS SEASON STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (1982-83):
— a step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW:

Season 10 begins, featuring no host. The season will have quite a number of major changes to the show’s general atmosphere and we also get a large influx of new additions to the cast, most of whom are already famous and one of whom is one of the very people who co-hosted tonight’s season finale.

May 14, 1983 – Mayor Ed Koch / Kevin Rowland & Dexy’s Midnight Runners (S8 E20)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

OPENING MONTAGE
— For the first time in SNL history, an episode doesn’t have a cold opening, and just goes straight into the opening montage. I’m not 100% sure, but I think the only other instance of this would later happen in the Pamela Sue Martin episode from season 10.


MONOLOGUE
host lists things about Ronald Reagan that bug him

— He immediately starts this off with his “How’m I doin’?” catchphrase, which he also started off his monologue with in the season 4 episode hosted by the Rolling Stones.
— Good premise with him freely saying what he REALLY thinks about the president.
— He’s coming off funny and likable in this.
— Who was he referring to when talking about how someone who once insulted him on the street ended up becoming governor?
— Pretty funny ending with him lamenting having to host this “cockamamie comedy show”.
STARS: ***


WHAT’S THE MOST DISGUSTING THING YOU’VE SEEN IN NEW YORK?
responses to, “What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve seen in New York?”

  

— Some really funny anecdotes here so far. I especially like one person’s answer being seeing Bella Abzug naked.
— Uh, wow at that anecdote about a guy who committed suicide by jumping off a building and had to have his body carried away in multiple bags. The sicko in me kinda likes how that dark story contrasted against all the other stories told here so far.
— What was with the sappy, non-comedic ending with one guy going against the grain by saying there’s nothing wrong with the city and he’s proud to live in it? I guess Koch being in the building tonight had some influence on SNL’s decision to end this film like that.
STARS: N/A (not a rateable segment)


MISTER ROBINSON’S NEIGHBORHOOD
an inventory of stolen goods

  

— At first, I got excited and mistakenly thought this was going to be the installment where Ed Koch fills in for Mister Robinson. I guess that’s from next season.
— They’ve noticeably been relying on this sketch less and less lately. It’s surprisingly only appeared twice all season. Maybe Eddie’s getting tired of doing these.
— A good laugh from “entrepreneur” being spelled “ontapanure” on Robinson’s famous “Word of the Day” board.
— I love the part with him displaying a stolen earring with a chunk of ear still attached to it.
— The fire escape ending felt weak.
— Overall, not one of the better installments of this sketch, though it was still watchable. I wonder if these are running out of steam, though.
STARS: ***


LEDGE
host & Frank Sinatra (JOP) try to talk (EDM) down from a ledge

     

— WTF? Another sketch with Eddie about to jump off a ledge? I liked the first one they did earlier this season, but is this REALLY necessary to turn into a recurring sketch?
— Koch: “How’m I doin?” Eddie: “I’m about to jump off this ledge and you ask me ‘How’m I doin”?!?”
— I like Eddie’s rapid-fire listing-off of all the things he finds wrong with New York.
— Satisfying part with Eddie shoving the Little Orphan Annie girl off the ledge.
— Haha, the quick part with Brad appearing out of nowhere as a ruined stockbroker and immediately jumping off the ledge slayed me.
— Pretty funny random inclusion of Joe’s Sinatra.
— Not sure how to feel about the whole “Start Spreading the News” performance from Koch, Eddie, and Joe. It’s a fun performance, but it’s not comedic, and I was kinda enjoying where this sketch was going before then.
— Since Eddie’s character fell off the ledge at the end (which was a weak and lazy gag), hopefully that’s the end of this recurring sketch.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Come On, Eileen”


THE ENQUIRER
— Rerun


BALD NO MORE
Bald No More hair stimulant gives host a mane like Don King’s [real]

   

— Koch is getting more laughs here.
— Another Don King cameo, after his appearance in that heavily-hyped Marc Weiner hand puppet boxing match from season 6.
— A good laugh from the sloppy goop being put all over Koch’s head and it dripping onto his face.
— How does Eddie get his tongue to look so freakishly big when he sticks it out like that? He did the same thing in that Casablanca ski lodge sketch earlier this season.
— Fairly funny visual of Koch in the Don King wig.
STARS: ***


LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID LETTERMAN
Gumby visits; Marv Albert cameo

     

— Good to see another sketch with Joe’s dead-on Letterman impression.
— I like the part with him taking us through a tour of the NBC men’s room.
— Him describing SaniWrap as being a “protective shield against god knows what” made me laugh.
— I like how Tom Snyder’s voice was heard from inside the bathroom stall yelling “Get the hell out of here” to Joe’s Letterman and then doing his trademark laugh.
— Gumby returns as Letterman’s guest, after the great sketch they did together in the season premiere.
— Interesting-seeming odd part with a claymation blooper reel from Gumby movies.
— Hmm, the first blooper clip with Marvin Hamlisch wasn’t too funny.
— Okay, the second blooper clip is funnier, especially Gumby’s yell of “Oy!” when seeing boulders falling towards him.
— Overall, a pretty good sketch, but I felt this was a step down from the Gumby/Letterman sketch from the season premiere.
STARS: ***½


HARRY ANDERSON
Harry & Leslie Anderson [real] escape strait jacket & ropes, respectively

   

— Loved Harry’s “I appreciate the estimation” ad-lib to the female volunteer when she gave him too much crotch room when tying the crotch strap part of Harry’s straitjacket.
— Great part with Harry shoving his female assistant’s chair away to prevent her from untying herself before him.
— Overall, as usual, a fun Harry Anderson performance.
STARS: ***½


WHINERS
Wendy Whiner recalls Doug’s experience as a prisoner of war in Vietnam

   

— Ugh, another Whiners sketch ALREADY? Didn’t we just see them a mere three episodes ago when Joan Rivers hosted?
— Because we apparently haven’t gotten ENOUGH offensive Asian stereotypes on the show lately, here’s yet another season 8 sketch with cast members playing cartoonish, over-the-top Asian caricatures. Ugh, you’re killing me with this, Ebersol-era SNL.
— Boy, this overall sketch was fucking TERRIBLE, even worse than the usual Whiners dreck. Not even Eddie could save this.
STARS: *


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “The Celtic Soul Brothers”


SATURDAY NIGHT NEWS
Patti Lynn Hunnsacker complains about her nightmare prom date
Havnagootiim Vishnuuerheer lists ways to tell if you’re stupid
MAG gets her dander up about network programming
Don King [real] promotes upcoming fights while JOP cuts his hair

       

— Oh my god, Brad’s cringeworthy Mexican voice during his Fernando Valenzuela joke made me groan like crazy.
— Julia’s story about her terrible prom date has some okay lines, but as usual with her commentaries as this character, the whole thing is just stereotypical teenage 80s humor (maybe it was funnier to people in 1983 than it is to me in 2019). This character feels like a real waste of Julia’s talents, knowing the comedic greatness she would later go on to achieve in her post-SNL career.
— Here’s Saturday Night News’s obligatory Tim Kazurinsky appearance of the week. For anyone keeping count, this is the NINTH consecutive episode where he does a news commentary. Wow. Let’s see if this impressive streak carries over into the beginning of next season.
— What in the world did I just hear an unseen audience member loudly yelling out at the beginning of the Havnagootiim Vishnuuerheer commentary?
— Oh, I see, the audience member yelled the correct pronunciation of Havnagootiim’s name, as a correction to Brad’s (intentional) butchering of the name when introducing the segment. Brad and Tim are doing a good job playing off of that audience member’s interjection.
— Tim’s “how to tell if you are stupid” topic seemed like it would be an interesting change of pace for this character, but this one didn’t end up going as well as the usual Havnagootiim commentaries do. Several parts of his listed-off signs of stupidity fell flat.  Nice ending, though, where they did a clever crossover with Tim’s recurring “Salute to Journalism” commentaries, by having Havnagootiim slam the New York Post.
— All throughout tonight’s Saturday Night News, Brad keeps randomly uttering some weak ad-libs in a silly high-pitched voice. This made me come to a realization that something I REALLY don’t like about Brad as an anchorperson is that he’s too hokey in his delivery and tries too hard when doing some of his goofier bits and ad-libs. Even when intentionally mispronouncing Havnagootiim Vishnuuerheer a few minutes ago, Brad delivered it too over-the-top and cartoonish.
— WTF was with Brad’s “The correct time” bit?
— As usual, some good complaints from Mary during her Spittin’ Mad rant. I especially liked her gripe about The New Odd Couple: “Why not do a white Diff’rent Strokes or a Japanese Jeffersons?”
— What was Mary referring to when she explained Laverne and Shirley recently got canceled because “Laverne bit somebody!” Is that referring to something Penny Marshall got in trouble for doing in real life?
— Tonight’s Saturday Night News feels like it’s going on forever.
— Fun payoff to Joe’s SNL Sports commentary with him cutting Don King’s trademark tall hair while King promotes an upcoming boxing match.
STARS: **


BIRTHDAY A GO-GO
a women’s club watches an exhibitionist (TIK) deliver a strip-o-gram

   

— LOL at the part of Tim’s strip act where he did an Egyptian dance while wearing a t-shirt over his head like an Egyptian headdress. That’s been the only part of his strip act that’s made me laugh so far.
— Good twist with Tim turning out to be an escaped mental patient posing as a stripper.
— So this ends up being our final sketch of the season? Not the best note for season 8 to end on, but at least it didn’t end with a repeated fake ad like season 7 frustratingly did.
STARS: **½


GOODNIGHTS

  


IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS:
— I pointed out in my last review that SNL has been following a never-ending “fun episode, lesser episode” cycle during the last few months of this season. And since yesterday’s episode was a fun one, I was worried it meant that if the aforementioned cycle continued, tonight’s episode would be a lesser one. Unfortunately, I turned out to be right. This episode was pretty forgettable for a season finale, and despite a few pretty solid segments, I can’t think of anything that stood out as really great. We also had a particularly dreadful Whiners sketch and an even weaker Saturday Night News than usual.
— Season 8 as a whole was surprisingly a blast for me to review. It was FAR from one of the best seasons ever, but there was a more comfortable and assuring feel to the overall show than the preceding season 7 had.   There was also a surprisingly good amount of episodes that had a very fun atmosphere, particularly the Joan Rivers one. This season also had a much more impressive roster of hosts than the preceding season did, especially during the stretch of episodes from December to February where we got a long consecutive string of comedy greats helming the show (The Smothers Brothers, Eddie Murphy, Lily Tomlin, Rick Moranis & Dave Thomas, Sid Caesar, and Howard Hesseman). Another thing that made this season a joy to review is the show’s star Eddie Murphy reaching his absolute peak in both performance quality and airtime. After getting so used to his consistently strong showing this season, I’m sure it’s going to feel a little odd seeing Eddie’s extremely reduced airtime next season while he’s busy filming movies in Hollywood.
— This season was also apparently good enough for Dick Ebersol to make no firings from the cast afterwards, which makes this the first season in years where everybody in the cast came back the next season. Though I do recall reading a Gary Kroeger article a few years ago where at one point, I think, he explains that Ebersol actually originally fired him after this season due to his lack of airtime and not having any breakout roles, before an irate Brad Hall talked Ebersol into rehiring Gary. However, my memories of that story are fuzzy, so I’m not sure how accurate my re-telling is.


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Stevie Wonder):
— a fairly big step down


HOW THIS SEASON STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (1981-82):
— a step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW:

Season 9 begins, with host Brandon Tartikoff