Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
UNITED NATIONS GENERAL ASSEMBLY
Moammar Gadhafi (FRA) blames rambling United Nations speech on jet lag
— Odd how the typical opening C-SPAN announcer isn’t being played by Jim Downey for once. It sounds like new cast member Nasim Pedrad who’s doing the voice of the announcer.
— Oh, god. SNL opens this season with a freakin’ translator cold opening? Really, SNL?
— Ugh. I’m only a minute-and-a-half into this, and I’m already tired of this. So far, this has been featuring the usual tepid, rambly (even if the rambling is the point of this particular opening), overly-wordy material that Jim Downey-written translator opening cold openings in the 2000s feature.
— I admit, some of Fred’s exaggerated facial expressions are making me laugh in spite of myself.
— Overall, a poor way to kick off the new season. In hindsight, knowing how this season goes (hint: not well), I guess this was a fitting way to open it.
STARS: *½
OPENING MONTAGE
— New montage.
— Right after the SNL logo is shown, it’s followed by a “35 years” graphic, commemorating the show’s milestone 35th season. This milestone would also be commemorated in some of this season’s going-to-commercial and coming-back-from-commercial bumpers, showing an “SNL 35” logo.
— When this season premiere originally aired, I remember how jarring Will Forte’s new buzzcut hairstyle was. That took some getting used to. I recall hearing that the reason for this buzzcut of Will’s was because, when filming the MacGruber movie in a very hot location in the desert over the summer, Will constantly got so sweaty that he eventually just shaved off all of his hair to reduce his sweating. We’ll be seeing his hair gradually grow back over the course of this season. By the way, seeing Will’s buzzcut always reminds me that this ends up being his final season as a cast member. I recall his airtime sadly being scarce this season compared to his prior seasons.
— A lot of fun and memorable shots of the cast in this opening montage, such as a laughing Andy Samberg celebrating with a group of Asian businessmen, Jason Sudeikis playing basketball with friends and throwing a towel at the camera, Kenan Thompson (with his trademark big smile) high-fiving a passing-by bicyclist, and Bobby Moynihan touching a police officer’s badge in an overly fascinated manner.
— Nasim Pedrad and Jenny Slate have been added to the cast tonight.
MONOLOGUE
host assumes her naked headswap photos must be legit since they’re online
— Some meh and lazy “dumb bimbo” humor with Megan Fox’s reactions to “real” nude pictures of her.
— Ah, here comes Bobby. He seems like he’s going to salvage this monologue.
— I love the sly look Bobby gives into the camera when mentioning his home scanner.
— A funny centaur poster Bobby has of Megan.
— I kinda wanted Bobby’s scene to last longer, as I was surprised by how soon he exited. However, at least SNL got this overall monologue over with quickly, given the scant premise.
STARS: **½
BLADDIVAN
Bladdivan cures shy bladder with a mix of diuretic & anti-anxiety drugs
— A questionable premise for a season-opening commercial, especially since it feels like SNL has already gone to this particular “urine medication commercial” well several times before (including the Urigro commercial from just three seasons prior to this, which has a premise almost completely identical to this one).
— I love Bill’s delivery in his testimonial.
— Very funny testimonial from Jason.
— Didn’t care for the sharing-a-urinal gag with Fred and Will at the end, but I did like them both cheesily laughing into the camera while sharing the urinal.
STARS: **½
FLIGHT ANNOUNCEMENT
stewardesses’ (KRW) & (host) increasingly-dire announcements induce panic
— I like how the lead-off sketch of this season is actually an original, non-recurring, and non-TV show sketch.
— Hannibal Burress, hired as a new SNL writer this season, can be seen all throughout this sketch seated next to Bobby (he’s behind Andy and Abby in the third above screencap for this sketch).
— Kristen and Megan’s overly calm announcements of VERY worrisome things about this flight are getting increasingly funny.
— The bit regarding the Monk nickname Kristen gives Megan is cracking me up.
STARS: ***½
RUSSIAN BRIDES
(WLF) weighs pretty (host) & ugly (FRA) Russian mail-order brides’ merits
— Oh, no. Yet another damn Fred-in-drag showcase. This also serves as an unfortunate reminder that, with the start of this season, we’ve entered what are known by a number of online SNL fans as Fred’s official bad years: seasons 35-38. (The number of annoying things Fred did in the preceding season, season 34, almost has me wondering if we should count THAT as the official start of Fred’s bad years.)
— At least Will’s character is acknowledging how unattractive Fred’s character is. I was worried this sketch would go for the obvious, cliched joke by having Will feel that Fred’s character is just as attractive as Megan’s character.
— Odd how not only is this the second sketch tonight with Fred playing a foreign-speaking person having his speech translated, but it’s Bill translating his speech in both sketches.
— (*groan*) Now Fred’s character is singing.
STARS: *
THE DATE
nebbishy SWAT leader (WLF) rejects (host)’s marriage proposal
— I can’t help but feel bad for laughing at Will’s performance, because he’s kinda coming off like he’s portraying a realistically mentally challenged person, though I don’t think that’s intentional. But screw it, Will is damn funny in this.
— A good laugh from Will’s “No (*bleep*)in’ way” response to Megan’s marriage proposal to him, after all of that build-up prior to this.
STARS: ***½
GRADY WILSON’S BURNING UP THE BEDSHEETS
(host) joins Grady Wilson for his Burning Up The Bedsheets sex DVD
— This Grady Wilson bit has officially become recurring.
— The “Speaking in Tongues” sex move made me laugh out loud.
— Most of tonight’s Grady Wilson sex moves aren’t making me laugh nearly as hard as the ones from the first installment of this sketch did, but they’re still fairly funny.
— Decent addition of Megan to help Kenan’s Grady Wilson demonstrate his sex techniques (and to help keep this sketch fresh), though part of me can’t help but wonder if this sketch is just a thinly-veiled excuse for Kenan to get to do a whole bunch of sex moves with Megan Fox. (If so, hey, I can’t blame Kenan.)
— I don’t like how this is the second sketch tonight with a Megan Fox-played character responding to someone’s simple joke by saying a clueless “I don’t get it.” SNL is leaning way too heavily into the lazy “attractive female host plays a dumb bimbo” trope tonight. I know Megan Fox isn’t exactly known for her acting range or comedic skills, but come on.
STARS: ***
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Breathe”
WEEKEND UPDATE
the G-20 Summit prompts Jean K. Jean to make a few comedic observations
nervous-as-usual Judy Grimes still fails to relay any travel advice
— Some minor changes have been made to the Weekend Update set. The Update desk’s top is now brown instead of blue, the words “Weekend Update” on the front of the desk are now in light-up letters, and the brown wooden panel on the lower half of the background wall has been removed, making the blue map background now cover the entire wall. (side-by-side comparison below between how the Update set looked previously and how it looks tonight)
— As usual for Jean K. Jean’s commentaries, I like the jokes and Kenan’s fun performance, but could really do without those formulaic dance interludes.
— A particularly funny line from Jean K. Jean about how, with those Jheri curls, Moammar Gadhafi’s name should be Moammar DeBarge.
— Now we get a Judy Grimes commentary. While I like both Jean K. Jean and Judy Grimes (much more than I liked them back when this SNL era originally aired), these are extremely formulaic characters who do the same basic bit in each appearance. I understand SNL wants to display some audience favorites in the Weekend Update of tonight’s season premiere, but can I get at least ONE new Update guest tonight?
— Hmm, an interesting change of pace with Judy Grimes actually bringing out a chart.
— Meh, even with the change of pace with Grimes bringing out a chart, it goes in the direction you’d expect it to, with her saying nothing but several “Just kidding”s when explaining the chart.
STARS: ***
LIVE LOUNGE
Live Lounge phone chat line is populated by all sorts of unsexy oddballs
— Funny opening line from Megan about how, despite her hair and clothes, this commercial is meant to air in 2009.
— Nasim Pedrad makes her second of only two appearances tonight, both of which were non-speaking roles, one in which she was barely onscreen (in the Flight Announcement sketch, in which she sat next to an also-silent Jenny Slate), and the other (this sketch) in which she’s shown for a mere two seconds listening to someone on her phone while having a big cheesy smile on her face. Yeesh, an extremely quiet way to make an SNL debut. (Then again, after a certain infamous thing that Nasim’s fellow newbie Jenny Slate does later tonight that would get so much unwanted attention, maybe Nasim breathed a sigh of relief that she went under the radar with just a quiet, invisible debut.) Then again, Nasim technically already made her very first SNL appearance prior to this episode. You see, in a Weekend Update Thursday special that aired two days before this season premiere, Nasim made a small appearance in that special’s cold opening, in a scene in which she, as Kathy Griffin, is interviewing Fred’s President Obama. (My memory of that cold opening is very fuzzy, so I’m not sure if my details are fully accurate.) When the camera first showed Nasim in that cold opening, I remember confusedly asking myself “Who the heck is THAT???” before realizing that must be one of the two new girls who SNL hired for this season. I find it kinda odd how SNL would have Nasim make her (unofficial, I guess) SNL debut in a Weekend Update Thursday special, before audiences got an introduction to her by seeing her and her name in the opening montage of a regular SNL episode. (SNL’s Weekend Update Thursday specials don’t have cast credits in the opening montage.)
— Jason makes his ONLY live appearance of this entire episode in a non-speaking, two-second role in which he, similar to Nasim, is shown listening to someone on his phone while having a cheesy cross-eyed look on his face. The hell? Having that be your biggest live appearance of the night makes sense for a new featured player like Nasim, but for a reliable, well-liked SNL veteran like Jason?!? And in a season premiere, of all episodes?!?
— Very funny how, after we’re shown “Women who want to be murdered” as an example of a chat line user, the next example of a chat line user is “Murderers”.
— Bill’s frozen facial expression in his shot is pure comedy gold.
— Funny mention of David Duchovny at the end.
— Amusing ending disclaimer.
— A surprisingly short overall sketch.
STARS: ***½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Moment Of Surrender”
BIKER CHICK CHAT
tough broad Dawn (JES) expresses strong emotions
— Hooooooo, boy. Welp, here we are, folks. The sketch that contains the notorious moment of both this episode and Jenny Slate’s entire short-lived SNL tenure.
— Pretending that I don’t know what notorious thing is soon going to happen, it’s nice to see Jenny getting her own lead role in her very first episode. Too bad it has to be a talk show sketch, such a lazy, tired, and overused SNL format.
— OHHH, NO. There’s the notorious moment, just a minute into this sketch: at one point during her delivery of a spiel that constantly uses the word “frickin’” as a substitute for “fuckin’” (a running theme among all the characters’ dialogue in this sketch), Jenny accidentally lets an actual “fuckin’” slip in. (Very similar to a gaffe Paul Shaffer made when doing a season 5 sketch in which he was constantly supposed to use the word “floggin’” in place of “fuckin’”.) Jenny immediately realizes this error, and, right before the camera cuts to a close-up of Kristen, Jenny follows that botched line of hers by making an “Uh-oh!” face that involves her puffing out her cheeks (the fifth above screencap for this sketch), a visual that would gain unwanted immortal fame, as screencaps and GIFs of Jenny making that face would be frequently used over the following few weeks on online message board threads (including on some non-SNL message boards) that discussed this F-bomb of Jenny’s.
— When I watched this episode when it originally aired, I actually didn’t catch the F-bomb. I did, however, notice Jenny making that aforementioned cheeks-puffed-out face right before the camera cut to a close-up of Kristen, and I was very puzzled over why the hell Jenny randomly made that face, then I figured that must’ve just been her mugging the camera in a desperate attempt to be funny. It wasn’t until right after this sketch ended and I went onto the now-defunct saturday-night-live.com message board to read what people were saying about this just-aired sketch that I found out Jenny let an F-bomb slip out. (Speaking of that message board’s live discussion of Jenny’s F-bomb, as I mentioned in my review of the notorious Ashlee Simpson incident from the season 30 Jude Law episode, there were so many people who simultaneously flocked to that message board immediately after Jenny’s F-bomb that it eventually caused the board to crash for a short while.) Literally as soon as I read about the F-bomb, I immediately grabbed my remote control, rewound my live DVR to see where the F-bomb happened in this sketch, and when I saw it, you can probably imagine how much I was absolutely floored.
— Man, to have a gaffe like this happen in your first big showcase in your FIRST EPISODE? Yikes! When Jenny, in character, is speaking into the camera several seconds after the infamous moment, you can tell she’s gotten REALLY thrown off by her F-bomb, because she’s suddenly speaking awkwardly and haltingly during this part. I can just hear the poor girl panicking inside her head during this portion of the sketch, thinking stuff to herself such as “I am soooooo getting fired after this sketch!”
— The comedic conceit of this sketch itself, with all the generic badass attitudes, all the “frickin’”s, and all the ashtray-throwings, has gotten REALLY old. The unscripted F-bomb is sadly the only interesting thing about this sketch.
— Finally a funny line, when Kristen mentions her “front bum”.
— A few minutes into this sketch, and I’m noticing that Kristen’s the ONLY thing in this sketch getting any big reactions from the audience. This sketch is a whole lot of nothing.
— Overall……..so, THAT’S over, mercifully. Yeesh. I hate to say it, but Jenny’s F-bomb may have been a blessing in disguise, as it’s probably what prevented SNL from ever turning this waste of time into a recurring talk show sketch (if the lack of audience reaction didn’t already do that). And, F-bomb aside, I didn’t find this material to be a promising first showcase for Jenny at all, sad to say.
— After this episode’s original airing, during the MANY online discussions of Jenny’s F-bomb, a lot of people wondered if SNL would immediately fire her after just one episode. There was even one person in those online discussions who displayed a comical self-made t-shirt that had the words “Jennifer Slate: 2009-2009” (insinuating that her SNL tenure would not last beyond her first episode) under a photo of Jenny making the aforementioned cheeks-puffed-out face. As we know now, Jenny would keep her job after this (if only for one season). Even today, 11 years later, I still see people online ignorantly assuming Jenny got fired after one season just because of her F-bomb from her first episode.
STARS: *½
MEGAN’S ROOMMATE
Optimus Prime (BOM) & Bumblebee (Brian Austin Green) hang out
— Two officially-billed Digital Shorts tonight. I always love the rare times that happens in an episode.
— A good laugh from Andy and Megan walking in on Bobby’s Optimus Prime sitting completely bottomless on the couch.
— Despite some laughs I’m getting, something about this short feels kinda underwhelming to me. It has a fairly forgettable feel for Lonely Island standards. I do like Andy’s straight man performance, though.
— I like the use of the original Transformers theme song during the ending credits sequence, as it brings back childhood memories of watching the original Transformers series.
— During the aforementioned ending credits sequence, the mysterious performer playing Bumblebee removes his mask and reveals that he’s the one and only Brian Austin Green, who Megan was either dating or married to (I forget which) at this time. To quote my reaction to finding out the guy behind the Bumblebee mask was Brian Austin Green when I originally reviewed this episode back in 2009: “Ugh. He should’ve kept the mask *on*.” Also, the previous time Brian Austin Green cameod on SNL before this (a laughably bad and pointless cameo that initially received DEAD SILENCE from the audience) in an O.J. Simpson Trial sketch, not only was it ALSO a season premiere just like tonight’s episode happens to be, but it was the premiere of a very notorious season (1994-95). And, wouldn’t you know it, season 35, while certainly not notorious, ends up being a season of pretty poor quality. So, I have to ask, is there some kind of Brian Austin Green SNL curse? Does SNL have a bad season every time he cameos in a season premiere? We’d better hope he doesn’t make any more cameos in any future season premieres. (Not that I see any reason why he would anyway, if his career has gone as south as I think it has.)
STARS: **½
YOUR MOM TALKS TO MEGAN FOX WHILE YOU GET READY
host’s friend’s mom (KRW) engages her in small talk while folding laundry
— Hmm. Interesting concept.
— When this originally aired, I dismissed this as a typical Wiig showcase that proved even further that SNL was pushing Kristen as their designated star, but during my current viewing, I can see more what this this sketch is going for, and I’m enjoying it. In fact, there’s actually a slice-of-life aspect to this that I really appreciate, as it’s VERY rare to see slice-of-life pieces by this point of SNL’s run.
— Solid and reliable delivery from Kristen throughout this.
— Actually a sweet bit of advice Kristen cornily gives Megan at the end.
STARS: ***½
GOODNIGHTS
musical guest performs “Ultraviolet”
— At the beginning of these goodnights, before U2’s show-closing musical performance starts, we get a fairly memorable visual of Seth tightly hugging Jenny in the background (seen in the first above screencap for these goodnights), obviously consoling her after her huge gaffe earlier tonight. I shudder to imagine what poor Jenny’s reaction to her gaffe must’ve been when she was backstage after the Biker Chick Chat sketch.
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A pretty mediocre season premiere, and already a sign of the quality that I’m aware in hindsight this season will have (though I know a season premiere is rarely an accurate sign of how the rest of a season will turn out). The first half of this episode in particular was dominated by a lot of laziness, with another bad translator cold opening, a “dumb bimbo” monologue, another urine medication commercial, and another bad Fred-Armisen-in-drag sketch. The second half of the episode wasn’t too hot, either. There were still some good things in this overall episode, but nothing received a rating over a mere three-and-a-half stars from me.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
The Date
Your Mom Talks To Megan Fox While You Get Ready
Live Lounge
Flight Announcement
Grady Wilson’s Burning Up The Bedsheets
Weekend Update
Megan’s Roommate
Bladdivan
Monologue
United Nations General Assembly
Biker Chick Chat
Russian Brides
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (2008-09)
a big step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Ryan Reynolds