Tag: Missy Elliott

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November 15, 2003 – Alec Baldwin / Missy Elliott (S29 E6)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE NEW IRAQI GOVERNMENT
George W. Bush (DAH) details Iraq’s new undemocratic constitution

— Oh, what the hell are you doing, SNL?!? ANOTHER presidential address-to-the-nation cold opening with Darrell’s horrible Bush impression, after you just did one TWO EPISODES AGO???
— Now Darrell has “enhanced” his impression by adding in a “leaning to the side” pose, lots of arm mannerisms, and lots of vocal inflections. It’s doing NOTHING to stop this from being an embarrassingly bad impression. In fact, seeing Darrell desperately do all of these ridiculous poses, mannerisms, and vocal inflections to try to put his impression over, and failing miserably, just makes it even sadder.
— Just like last time he played Bush, Darrell has that stupid smirk on his face, though it’s not quite as prominent as it was last time. I still don’t know what he’s going for with the smirk.
— Also just like last time, this cold opening is DEATH. Absolutely no laughs from me, not just because of Darrell’s horrible impression, but also because of horrible writing that not even Will Ferrell would’ve been able to save.
— The only positive thing I can say is that this thankfully ends up being the final appearance of Darrell’s Bush impression. After only two appearances from his impression, SNL would re-cast the role ONCE AGAIN later this season. Darrell’s Bush would end up going down in SNL history as possibly the worst presidential impression ever seen on the show. Even Darrell himself would later admit what a misfire his Bush was, calling it “the Waterloo of my career”.
STARS: *


MONOLOGUE
when co-star host fails to self-promote, MIM plugs The Cat In The Hat

— WTF? Jimmy and Horatio in the SNL Band? Oh, lord, what horror am I in for THIS time?
— Dammit, now we get Jimmy and Horatio taking over this entire monologue while acting like obnoxious jackasses, which they’re given free rein to do too damn often. The fact that it’s an Alec Baldwin monologue this is happening in feels especially wrong.
— Well, at least we get a surprise Mike Myers cameo.
— Ugh, the running gag with Mike constantly dropping character to plug The Cat In The Hat has not aged well, though I remember this bit kinda rubbed me the wrong way even when tonight’s episode originally aired. Almost nothing in this monologue is working for me.
STARS: *½


HUGGIES THONG
— Rerun from 10/4/03.
— During the beginning of this re-airing, you can hear audio of what sounds like excited audience members yelling “MIKE!” in the studio, apparently trying to get Mike Myers’ attention right after the monologue ended.


PLASTIC SURGEON
unprofessional plastic surgeon (host) recommends D cups for patient (AMP)

— I recall hearing this sketch was cut from the preceding season’s Ray Romano episode.
— I like this non-sequitur exchange between Alec and Amy, during their discussion of breast augmentations: “Do you know Catherine Bell from JAG?” “No.” “Damn. I was really hoping to meet her.”
— Amy sternly warning Alec “I am only gonna stay here for a few more jokes!” is very funny.
— Alec is solid in this inappropriate role, though I can’t help but wonder what this sketch was like with Ray Romano. I can picture him being great in Alec’s role too.
STARS: ***½


ZINGER VS. BURNS
scientists (host) & Dave ‘Zinger’ Klinger (SEM) trade childish gibes

— The debut of this character of Seth’s.
— Surprisingly, this ends up being Maya’s only appearance all night, and it’s just a straight role in which she only has about two lines.
— Seth’s zinger routine did nothing for me for the first minute of this sketch, but Alec suddenly coming in and doing the same basic routine as Seth had me laughing out loud. I guess it’s all in the performance. Alec is just better at this type of material than Seth is, in my opinion.
— Some laughs from how extensive Alec and Seth are getting in their burn/zing routines.
— I like Chris having such disdain for Alec and Seth’s burn/zing routines, but treating it so seriously that he demands Alec and Seth do a best-of-three burn/zing-off to declare a winner.
— Okay, this whole burn/zing gimmick is starting to run out of steam for me, though the performances from Alec and even Seth are fun.
STARS: **½


THE TONY BENNETT SHOW
acquitted millionaire Robert Durst (FRA)

— This sketch has officially become recurring.
— Like last time, we’re getting so many hilarious one-liners from Alec’s Tony Bennett.
— I don’t know why, but the characterization Fred is doing for his Robert Durst impression feels kinda Christopher Guest-esque to me. Not sure what it is about Fred’s performance that makes me feel that way.
— Hilarious promo that Alec’s Bennett does for for Stayfree Maxi-Pads.
— Funny bit with Bennett getting Richie Sambora to “apologize” to him.
— Is EVERY character of Horatio’s now going to be a character written to be very giggly? Is this SNL’s way of trying to hide Horatio’s natural giggliness? Horatio’s at least playing his role in this particular sketch like a normal person, and not treating it as one of his typical over-the-top roles.
STARS: ****


GAYSTROGEN
Another rerun tonight, this time from 10/18/03


THE FALCONER
Donald has a wild night in Las Vegas while The Falconer hangs upside down

— Good to see this sketch make its first appearance of the season. Believe it or not, this ends up being the ONLY Falconer sketch of this entire season. Quite odd, after how frequently this sketch appeared the preceding season.
— The Falconer, while hanging upside-down: “For four days, I have dangled here like a urine-soaked pinata.”
— I love the visual of Donald the Falcon seeing a “Knives, axes… Anything store (We specialize in rope cutting)” and a casino located on opposite sides of each other, then deciding to go to the casino instead of the Knives store which would’ve been convenient in getting The Falconer out of his trap.
— A hilarious cocaine sequence with Donald the Falcon. I especially like his crazed, rapid, increasingly higher-pitched squawking after snorting the cocaine.
— Nice touch with how the traditional ending title card of The Falconer has his usual photo flipped upside-down tonight, to match how he has been hanging upside-down for the entire sketch.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Pass That Dutch”


WEEKEND UPDATE
riding Paris Hilton’s coattails, WLF shows his own night vision sex tape

TIF mistakes phone interviewee Christian Slater (JIF) for Jack Nicholson

— Wow, Tina’s Al Gore joke gets booed from somebody in the audience.
— Great to see Will doing an Update commentary as himself.
— Hearing Will speak in his normal voice here, I notice he sounds a tad “country”. Isn’t he from California, though?
— Will’s Paris Hilton-esque sex tape is a riot. Not sure that ending with Fred was necessary, though.
— A good Christian Slater vocal impression from Jimmy. Also, I’m finding the ridiculous back-and-forth Slater/Jack Nicholson fake-out to be pretty funny.
— A somewhat short Update. At least they finally managed to get through an Update without a derailing appearance from Horatio, for the first time since the second episode of this season.
STARS: ***


PRESS CONFERENCE
(host) answers euphemistic questions linking Prince Charles with gay sex

— Fun British accents from Alec and the cast.
— Despite being a cavalcade of cheap puns about gay sex, these are actually coming off fun, funny, and well-delivered.
— Seth’s double entendre about Prince Charles wanting his “crack” to be filled with “caulk” feels like a precursor to a sketch that Jason Lee would later do in season 31 that’s in the vein of dirty wordplay sketches like Colonel Angus and Cork Soakers.
STARS: ***½


KEEN CORPORATION
co-workers (host) & (AMP) flub a presentation after a one-night stand

— Not caring for this cliched premise.
— Okay, Alec’s line about how even his mother looks like Jewel after he’s had 10 drinks was pretty funny.
— I like Alec’s delivery of “So frickin’ what?!?” after revealing to his co-workers all the wrong things he and Amy did last night.
— For some reason, Amy loses it and busts out laughing very loudly during her and Alec’s passionate make-out session on the table.
— A somewhat weak ending with Seth and Rachel.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Work It”


ROY RETURNS
Roy Horn’s (host) return to the stage is beset by more animal attacks

— Hoo, boy. I remember this being kind of a notorious sketch, with some SNL fans considering it really tasteless that SNL would make light of Roy Horn’s tragic attack in such a manner.
— A funny visual of Amy as a beehive-haired lady among people in the crowd getting splattered with blood from off-camera.
— Good lord at the turtle/eye scene.
— Wh… what? THAT’S the entire sketch?!? This sketch felt almost completely pointless, and the turtle/eye scene sure was one weak punchline. Something felt almost season 20-esque about this sketch.
STARS: *½


SCHEINWALD STUDIOS
pandering studio mogul Abe Scheinwald (RAD) scares off director (FRA)

— Here’s another sketch tonight that was cut from an episode from a previous season, this one being cut from the Jon Stewart episode all the way back in season 27. I think I recall hearing Jon Stewart played the role that Fred’s playing in tonight’s version, while the role that Alec’s playing wasn’t in the Jon Stewart version of the sketch.
— Seth has been all over tonight’s episode.
— Funny walk-on from Rachel’s Abe Scheinwald character, making his debut.
— Alec seems to be playing a Robert Evans pastiche.
— Some pretty funny lines from Rachel and Alec all throughout this sketch.
— After something Rachel did just now, all of the performers except Alec are fighting to keep a straight face.
— As this sketch ends and the screen holds on a shot of all of the performers, you can hear audio of the Tel-e-link commercial from this season’s Halle Berry episode start to play, but it soon gets cut off as an SNL bumper photo of Alec appears onscreen. I guess people in the SNL control room realized at literally the last second that there’s not enough time to re-air the Tel-e-link commercial, so they had to quickly abort it on the air after cueing it up. A sloppy moment that you don’t often see happening on SNL. Also, if that Tel-e-link commercial had aired tonight, it would’ve been the THIRD repeated fake ad in tonight’s episode, which might’ve been an all-time record.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— One of the more average Alec Baldwin episodes. Not bad, but definitely doesn’t stand out among Alec’s roster of episodes. There were still a few solid highlights, though, and Alec added his usual professional-but-fun atmosphere to the show.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Andy Roddick)
about the same


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Rev. Al Sharpton

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February 14, 1998 – Roma Downey / Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott (S23 E13)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

ABC NEWS SPECIAL REPORT
Monica Lewinsky (MOS) addresses Congress regarding Bill Clinton

— A bit odd how extras are playing Al Gore and Newt Gingrich, both standing behind Molly’s Monica Lewinsky.
— A traditional SNL gag where we get constant cutaways to real footage of certain politicians in the crowd while someone is giving a State of the Union-type address. Some of the cutaways in tonight’s cold opening are particularly funny being shown during Molly-as-Lewinsky’s schoolgirl-type rambling about her romantic and sexual encounters.
— Hmm, Ana playing a real-life law professor named Catherine McKinnon. Is it safe to assume that Catherine McKinnon’s nickname is Kate?
— This feels longer than typical cold openings. The portions with Molly’s Monica Lewinsky are mostly fine, but even the gag with the cutaways to politicians in the crowd during her speech is going on too long (hell, they used the same shot of Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan twice). And the portions with Darrell’s Ted Koppel interviewing panelists aren’t providing many laughs and feel unnecessary to this cold opening. Not even Tim’s deadpan “I hate this country” made me laugh as much as it should’ve.
STARS: ***


OPENING MONTAGE
— Don Pardo noticeably sounds a little under the weather tonight. SNL would later fix this in reruns by replacing his announcements with ones where he sounds like his usual self.


MONOLOGUE
backstage, host & Della Reese (TRM) bring salvation to fallen castmembers

— Tracy is hilarious as Della Reese.
— I like Darrell’s silly portrayal of himself as a violent man.
— Molly’s portrayal of herself as a belligerent drunken druggie isn’t too far removed from her Courtney Love impression.
— Good bit with Will portraying himself as a sleazy porno director.
— I got a laugh from Roma Downey’s passing mention of having bitchslapped Chris Kattan earlier in the week.
— Lorne’s convoluted description of the seedy business he deals in is funny, as is him not being changed by Roma and Della’s attempt to make him see the light.
STARS: ***½


CHESS FOR GIRLS
Rerun from 12/6/97


WEDDING VOWS
Marty & Bobbi renew their wedding vows & do a medley about their sex life

— A laugh from Marty’s description of his and Bobbi’s naked bodies when they typically wake up in the morning.
— Tonight’s song medley isn’t amusing me as much as the Culps’ medleys usually do (maybe because I’m not familiar with some of these songs). Chumbawumba’s “Tubthumping” is the only song so far that I got a laugh from.
— A big laugh from Marty and Bobbi’s awkward, nasty-looking, tongue-y kiss during their medley.
STARS: ***


CATHERINE THE GREAT
Catherine the Great’s (host) equine affair denial has Clinton parallels

— A somewhat interesting idea to do a Catherine The Great horse sex scandal parody that parallels the Lewinsky scandal.
— I like the absurdity of Ana doing her contemporary Helen Thomas impression in a sketch set in the year 1766.
— A weak and lazy ending, with us just seeing a newspaper headline with the word “Ponygate”.
— Overall, ehh. Despite the somewhat clever premise, this sketch pretty much just came and went with very few laughs from me.
STARS: **


MARTHA STEWART LIVING VALENTINE SPECIAL
ideas for how to spend Valentine’s Day alone

— Odd how we’re getting a Martha Stewart Living sketch two episodes in a row. I can’t complain, though.
— A huge laugh from the butt-shaped erotic cake, as well as the comment Ana’s Martha Stewart makes after tasting a sample of it: “Now that’s a sweet piece of ass.”
— Another hilarious bit, this time with Martha’s tip on defecating in a box and leaving it on your ex-husband’s front porch, complete with a scene of her doing that to her own ex-husband.
STARS: ****


EYE ON THE OLYMPICS
Canadian snowboarder Ross Rebagliati (JMB) shows signs of Nagano weed use

— A no-brainer to cast Jim in this role of a pot-smoking Olympian. By the way, as this season progresses, it’s becoming more and more of a rarity to see Jim carry a sketch. He’s been invisible this season. I wonder what the reason is behind his reduced airtime lately. He’s basically become to this season what Mark McKinney was to the preceding season.
— Jim’s performance is fairly fun, but the stoner jokes here are standard, cliched, and bland. They did this humor a little better in the Issues sketch from earlier this season.
— Tracy almost saves this sketch with his funny walk-on as the leader of the Jamaican bobsledding team.
STARS: **


RIDING MY DONKEY POLITICAL TALK SHOW
pundits defend media atop asses

— Yes! I’m eager to finally see this. I’ve always been aware of this well-loved sketch, and have seen some clips from it, but this is my first time actually seeing the sketch in its entirety.
— An insanely catchy theme song, and I also love the graphics in the accompanying opening credits.
— A great bizarre concept of a political talk show with the host and panelists being atop donkeys for no good reason. This is like a much-improved version of the Donkey Basketball Camp sketch from Charles Barkley’s season 19 episode.
— Haha, holy hell! Early on in the sketch, things already go off the rails, with Tim nearly falling backwards off his donkey when his donkey begins to wander out of the shot. Tim returns into the shot with his donkey while making a great ad-lib: “I just wanted to get some water.”
— Fun seeing Tim, Will, Ana, and Darrell each trying not to crack up during all of the unscripted messiness throughout this already-inherently-crazy sketch.
— Another unintentional laugh from another gaffe, this time with the very delayed effect of an arrow sticking out of Darrell’s chest.
— Haha, it looked like Tim almost fell backwards off his donkey again at the very end of the sketch.
— Overall, this sketch was a beautiful absurd mess, and absolutely lived up to the hype.
STARS: *****


PHONE CALL
Monica Lewinsky’s answering machine records Bill Clinton’s first call

— An interesting and experimental idea.
— Good detail with a beret being on the table next to Monica Lewinsky’s answering machine.
— An overall pretty straightforward piece, but it worked for what it was.
STARS: ***


WEEKEND UPDATE
COQ uses Cops analogy to explain America’s status as “world’s policeman”
COQ says he’ll marry Madonna, as long as certain ground rules are honored

— God, I love that opening theme music.
— Much like the last Update, tonight’s Update starts with Colin doing another straight-to-camera breakdown of something big in the news. Unfortunately, this particular breakdown isn’t very funny.
— And now, after the aforementioned breakdown has ended with a somewhat quiet audience, Colin VERY awkwardly turns to the other camera to start doing traditional news jokes. Geez, he didn’t even bother to segue into the jokes.
— Boy, quite a lot of Colin’s jokes tonight are getting a fairly tepid audience reaction.
— Ha, I like how after one particular joke got a poor reaction from the audience, Colin ad-libs “I should’ve bought my donkey.”
— Ah, now we get an actual funny straight-to-camera breakdown from Colin, with him setting the ground rules for Madonna in case she and Colin ever get married to each other. I like the randomness of this segment, as well as Colin’s very assertive, straightforward approach.
— Wow, Update is over already? It felt like it was only about 4 minutes long, and there were no guest commentaries.
— Overall, after having a surprisingly strong Update in the last episode, Colin has unfortunately taken a huge step back tonight, despite a few decent moments.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Sock It 2 Me” & “Beep Me 911”


COUSIN FRAN
before her cousin’s (host) wedding, bitter Fran (CHO) piles on self-pity

— Cheri attempts a new character, one that we end up never seeing again.
— A minute and a half into this sketch, I finally got my first real laugh, from Cheri’s rude off-camera comment about Ana’s deaf husband.
— Boy, I don’t know about this sketch. I appreciate the realism they’re going for in Cheri’s character, but I’m not caring much for the execution of this sketch.
— What the hell happened at the end? After flicking her cigarette out of the shot, Cheri looks off-camera and briefly drops character with a worried facial expression (screencap below) as if she accidentally hit someone off-camera with her cigarette, then looks straight at the camera, then just embarrassedly walks out of the scene as the sketch fades to black. What in the world?!?

STARS: **


PHONE CALL
Monica Lewinsky’s answering machine captures date-night Bill Clinton call

— Ah, a runner.
— I like the mileage SNL has been getting out of the Lewinsky scandal so far in these last two episodes. It shows how much the Lewinsky scandal consumed America at this time.
— I’m finding the humorous realism of Bill’s phone message a little funnier in this one than I found it in the first Phone Call segment earlier tonight.
STARS: ***½


THE LADIES’ MAN
Leon helps callers create Valentine’s Day romance

— I’m not 100% sure, but I think this is the last Ladies’ Man sketch to feature Tracy’s stage manger character Montel. I know this character of Tracy’s is just a very minor role, but I’ve always liked the camaraderie and banter that he and Leon Phelps have with each other.
— The call from Molly felt like it should’ve been longer.
— Leon’s “bumpin’ and squirtin’” poem was very funny.
— An overall okay Ladies’ Man installment, but felt like a step back from the last installment, which finally took this recurring sketch out of the basic “Leon Phelps takes calls for a few minutes by himself” format by adding in a guest.
STARS: ***


TV FUNHOUSE
“Ah Lin The Skater Man” by RBS- growth hormone fuels the propaganda tool

— A fairly late spot in an episode for a TV Funhouse to air.
— I’m not very familiar with the type of anime that this cartoon is parodying, so I probably don’t appreciate this cartoon as much as I’m sure others would. I’m still getting a good amount of amusement, though, and I like the animation style, which I can tell is a spot-on imitation of the animation style of real anime.
— Good gag with Ah Lin going through a Popeye-esque transformation when eating steroids in a similar manner to eating from a can of spinach, complete with the Popeye theme music playing in the background.
STARS: ***½


VALENTINE’S DAY DANCE
cousin Tina (host) gives man-getting tips to Lou’s Lovely Daughters

— The return of Ana, Cheri, and Molly’s characters from the Lou’s Lovely Daughters sketch in the season premiere.
— This feels like the only time all night that Roma Downey (oh, that’s right, tonight’s episode has a host!) has gotten really into character.
— I recall once hearing that Roma accidentally flashes a nipple one of the many times she adjusts her low-cut top throughout this sketch, but I have yet to notice any nip slips from her.
— Cheri’s unattractive Maria character is getting some good laughs as usual.
STARS: ***


PHONE CALL
Monica Lewinsky’s answering machine saves the last pre-scandal call

— I like how it’s gotten to the point where Bill is now part of Monica’s answering machine greeting.
— A laugh from Bill worriedly asking at the end “You are erasing these messages, aren’t you?”
STARS: ***


GOODNIGHTS
NOM walks on-stage & kisses host

— Norm Macdonald, who has not been in any sketches these last two episodes and was removed from the opening montage, randomly shows up onstage next to Roma, gives her a kiss on the lips after she’s finished with her goodnights speech, then quickly exits the stage. What the…?!?!? I get that it’s Valentine’s Day, but there are so many unanswered questions about this.

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— This episode had a pretty dull, forgettable feel. Two great bits (Riding My Donkey Political Talk Show and Martha Stewart Living) were almost lost in a sea of bits that were either just okay, very unmemorable, or flat-out mediocre. Adding to the forgettable feel of this episode was the host, as Roma Downey didn’t stand out at all and played a lot of bland roles that weren’t too far removed from her “Touched By an Angel” persona, aside from one sketch where she was allowed to get loose in (Valentine’s Day Dance).


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (John Goodman)
a big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Garth Brooks, with special guest Robert Duvall