Tag: Scarlett Johansson

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March 11, 2017 – Scarlett Johansson / Lorde (S42 E16)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

ALIEN ATTACK
Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) fails to inspire troops during alien invasion

— At least this is putting Trumpwin in a somewhat creative setting, but I’m sure it won’t stop my Trumpwin fatigue.
— Sasheer steals this sketch for me with her hilarious deadpan delivery of “Oh, okay…no.”
— Can’t find anything else to say about this cold opening. Yep, as I was afraid of, this cold opening ain’t stopping my Trumpwin fatigue.
STARS: **


MONOLOGUE
KET marks host’s Five-Timer status with clips featuring mostly himself

— A good laugh from how Kenan-centric the highlight reel featuring a clip from each of Scarlett Johansson’s previous hosting stints is. As commenter Jesse Nathan pointed out in the comments section of my last review, this highlight reel also happens to feature some of my least favorite sketches, including three sketches I gave an absolutely scathing review of (Virginiaca, St. Kat’s Middle, and Dino Bones). This highlight reel unfortunately shines a light on how blah a lot of Scarlett-hosted episodes are.
— Some good lines from Kate describing her night at the Oscars.
— Another good laugh from how the Kenan-centric theme of Scarlett’s clips continues, as her movie clip turns out to be a clip of Kenan in the Fat Albert movie.
— An okay part with the Subway-inspired Five-Timers song.
STARS: ***


GOOD DAY DENVER
show mislabels animal photographer (MID) as pornographer

— Bobby showing some real-life stubble, I see. IIRC, the reason for this is because he started filming the pilot of his CBS sitcom around this time.
— The first of several Mikey Day sketches over the years with this “dirty-sounding miscaption during a good-natured news interview” concept.
— A lot of laughs from how Mikey’s innocent statements and the caption quotes on the bottom of the screen are made dirty by the “animal pornographer” mislabeling.
STARS: ****


CHERRY GROVE
lesbian counterpart to Fire Island is much more low-key

   

— Some pretty good laughs from the extreme contrasts between Fire Island and its lesbian equivalent.
STARS: ***


PET TRANSLATOR
thoughts-vocalizing device creator (host) learns her dog is a Trump fan

— This sketch went viral after its original airing and was very popular, but I’ve always found it overrated.
— I recall it being pointed out that the dog in this sketch is the same dog from Cecily’s Blue River Dog Food commercial in the season 39 Seth Rogen episode.

— The initial reveal of the dog being a Trump fan made me laugh, but I haven’t been laughing much at where this sketch has gone after that reveal.
— An amusing unscripted bit where the dog removes the device from his head mid-sketch. Beck as the dog’s voice-over keeps up with this by making some good ad-libs.
— Scarlett, to the dog: “What about [Trump’s] record on women’s rights? Don’t you want me to have a choice over my own body?” Dog: “You didn’t afford me a choice when you cut off my balls.”
— Overall, some parts of this sketch were SLIGHTLY better than I remembered, but I’m still not crazy about this sketch as a whole.
— I recall hearing that SNL would later do a sequel to this sketch in Scarlett’s season 45 episode. Much like the Posters sequel in Emma Stone’s season 44 episode, I haven’t seen it yet. And also like the Posters sequel, the decision to do a sequel to this Pet Translator sketch seems so baffling and unnecessary.
STARS: **


OLIVE GARDEN
(BEB) gives odd directions to actors shooting an Olive Garden commercial

— Second consecutive segment tonight getting a lot of mileage out of Beck’s voice-over work.
— Wait, actually, this is the third consecutive segment tonight getting a lot of mileage out of Beck’s voice-over work, as I just now remembered he was also the voice-over in the Cherry Grove ad.
— A lot of hilarious oddball directions from Beck that the performers have to follow, which they execute very humorously.
— Scarlett: “I wouldn’t laugh at a little person.” Beck: “But Olive Garden customers would.”
STARS: ****


COMPLICIT
fragrance describes Ivanka Trump’s (host) administration role

— Scarlett reprises her Ivanka Trump impression from a Live With Regis & Kelly sketch that aired 10 years prior. This (needlessly) ends up becoming a regular role that Scarlett would make cameos to play.
— A clever and very funny way to spoof Ivanka’s famous “complicit” comment.
— During the Titanic part, I love Cecily-as-the-voice-over’s line, “Sorry, girl, you’re Billy Zane.”
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Green Light”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Al Franken (ALM) tries to continue questioning Jeff Sessions (KAM)

MIC mentions that A Day Without A Woman was sponsored by Jergens lotion

PED gives his first impressions of those who defend Donald Trump

— Third episode in a row with Kate’s Jeff Sessions.
— Alex continues to be very prominent at the Update desk within these last few episodes.
— While I definitely see what he’s going for, Alex’s Al Franken impression is kinda leaving a little to be desired. Jeff Richards once did a better Franken impression in a Barry Gibb Talk Show sketch.
— Kate’s Sessions is gradually forming into the version of this impression that I don’t care for, though at this early stage, I still have slight bit of goodwill left towards it.
— I’m still getting a David Spade Hollywood Minute vibe from Pete’s First Impressions segments, even if they certainly lack the wit of David’s Hollywood Minutes.
— Very funny ad-lib from Pete towards Michael.
— That first Sean Hannity burn from Pete felt unnatural being delivered by him.
STARS: ***½


TRUE TALES FROM THE SEA
Shud & anglerfish-mermaid (host) put the moves on marooned pilot (MID)

 

— I liked the first installment of this sketch from the preceding season, but yeah, I did not need a second one.
— SNL seems to like having Scarlett play a grotesque character’s lookalike in the second installment of said grotesque character’s sketch, as it happened 10 years prior to this with Andy Samberg’s Kuato character, and now it happens with Kate’s Shud character.

— Having a second grotesque mermaid isn’t preventing this sketch from feeling VERY inferior to the first installment.
— Okay, Kate got a pretty good laugh from me just now when she disgustingly gobbled up the raw fish.
STARS: **


SHANICE GOODWIN: NINJA
Shanice Goodwin & fellow ninja (host) rescue their kidnapped sensei (BOM)

— Speaking of sequels with Scarlett playing someone similar to the main character…
— Surprised to see Leslie do a second installment of this sketch, given the fact that she tore her ACL during the first installment.
— I still haven’t gotten used to Bobby’s real-life stubble in this episode.
— Vanessa appears to be playing the character who was kidnapped in the first installment of this sketch, but she’s unfortunately not using that adorable mock-cloying delivery she used in the first installment.
— A pretty fun sequence with Leslie and Scarlett both performing “discreet” ninja actions on the villains, even if this sketch definitely isn’t measuring up to the first installment for me.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Jack Antonoff [real] perform “Liability”


A SKETCH FOR THE WOMEN
female cast members are sidelined in pro-women sketch written by BEB & KYM

— A very interesting pre-sketch intro where I can already tell I’m in for a very funny sketch.
— Hilarious how Scarlett and Aidy have mostly been given no lines by Beck and Kyle, and have to just sit awkwardly while watching Beck and Kyle go on and on about unfair treatment that women receive.
— A big laugh from the way the non-Aidy female cast members are briefly shoehorned into this sketch.
— Great ending with Beck and Kyle cutting off Lorde’s pro-women song by breaking out into “Royals”.
STARS: ****½


FUNERAL SERVICE
widow (VAB) learns her husband wrote deep club tracks for (KET) & (host)

— When this sketch originally aired, I remember saying on an SNL message board that not only was it obviously a James Anderson-written sketch, but that it felt like a bad parody of typical James Anderson-written sketches. I also remember saying on that same message board that, if SNL ever does an updated version of the “Kenan/Scarlett highlights from each Scarlett-hosted episode” montage from this episode’s monologue, the clip that’s chosen from this 2017 episode will most likely be of her and Kenan in this funeral sketch. If so, it would fit with that montage’s theme of sketches that I don’t like.
— Leslie playing a rabbi is inherently hilarious.
— Meh at the big reveal of this sketch’s main comedic concept. It’s doing nothing for me in my current viewing, though I’m at least not hating it as much as I did when it originally aired. I know some people find this to be one of the better James Anderson-written sketches, but to me, it isn’t much better than Anderson’s usual material.
— I am at least finding the melody of the final song (the “Here is my butt” one) to be damn catchy right now. If that was the only song that Kenan and Scarlett had sung, maybe I’d like this sketch a lot more, but by the time the catchy “Here is my butt” song came on, I was too numbed to the humor of it due to the previous songs already having the same humor, only with a far-less-catchy melody.
— I do love Leslie’s delivery of “I gotta say, them songs was LIT! Made me question my whole path!”
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A little better than I remembered. Scarlett Johansson-hosted episodes typically have a way of leaving something to be desired (aside from her season 31 episode, which was a good one), but this one was helped by some good highlights and a not-TOO-high number of segments I didn’t like.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
A Sketch For The Women
Olive Garden
Good Day Denver
Complicit
Weekend Update
Shanice Goodwin: Ninja
Monologue
Cherry Grove
Pet Translator
Funeral Service
True Tales From The Sea
Alien Attack


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Octavia Spencer)
about the same


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Louis C.K.

Posted on

May 2, 2015 – Scarlett Johansson / Wiz Khalifa (S40 E19)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

MAYWEATHER-PACQUIAO FIGHT
NBC seeks ratings by simulating Floyd Mayweather vs. Manny Pacquiao fight

— Some laughs from the part of the opening text crawl about night golf.
— Pretty funny conceit with SNL attempting to pass this sketch off as authentic footage of the real Mayweather-Pacquiao fight.
— When Aidy tries to replace her attempt at a stereotypical Spanish accent with an even more stereotypical Filipino one, I like Kenan responding “Okay, that’s worse. That’s worse.”
— Meh, the “Kate silently does gestures as Justin Bieber” routine, which was hilarious in its debut, has now reached the point where its officially past its prime for me.
— Some more good lines from the Steve Higgins-read text crawl, doing a lot of the comedic heavy lifting.
STARS: ***½


MONOLOGUE
new mother host is sexy while singing “Love To Love You Baby” as lullaby

— (*groan*) Our FOURTH consecutive musical monologue. I would ask if this is a record, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not. Still damn frustrating, though.
— So far, a tepid monologue that not even Kenan and Taran can salvage much. I’m also not caring for Scarlett Johansson’s attempt at a “comical” sexy singing voice.
STARS: *½


RIGHT SIDE OF THE BED WITH GRACELYNN AND CORY
flirty antics annoy New Jersey mixologist (host)

— Ugh.
— Here’s our obligatory display of Scarlett doing a “brash New Yorker” voice (or New Jersey, in this case) that she seems to do at least once in every single hosting stint of hers, this time with a Fran-Drescher-as-The-Nanny laugh added in for good measure.
— I admit, I’m actually starting to warm up to the interplay between Taran and Cecily in this, and am starting to find it charming. A lot of it has to do with Cecily, who, between the Smart House sketch from this season’s Michael Keaton episode and now this sketch, I’m starting to find has a strangely comforting, likable delivery and performance style in some of these aggressively James Anderson/Kent Sublette-y sketches. Maybe it’s just something I like about the way Cecily plays laid-back southern housewife roles.
— That “WHAAAAAAAA???” scream from Taran when he gets referred to by Scarlett as “that gay guy” was straight-up a Lyle The Effeminate Heterosexual moment.
— A second ugh from me, as it’s become a regular thing for Kate to show up as a famous male singer in this recurring sketch for no good reason.
— Overall, I was more into this than I was the first installment of this sketch. That being said, this still has a little ways to go before I find it legitimately good. I think there’s only one installment of it remaining, anyway.
STARS: **½


TV 11 NEWS BALTIMORE
Baltimore unrest looms amid broadcast of Orioles game from empty stadium

— Interesting watching this in hindsight, especially for a (casual) sports fan like me, as sports games with no fans in attendance, which was absolutely surreal back at this time in 2015, has now become very commonplace in our current COVID times.
— A lot of good laughs from the various unintentional wordplay alluding to the unrest in Baltimore, especially the “knee grows”/“negroes” wordplay.
— At least this sketch didn’t make a big deal about the man-on-man kiss between Beck and Pete, as they just gave each other a quick peck on the lips and the sketch immediately moved on to the next thing, and thus, the kiss wasn’t meant for us to laugh uproariously at like a big punchline. I would call this progress, but I’ve heard that SNL’s most recent episode had Pete and host John Krasinsky doing the ol’ “two men giving each other a big, long kiss for very cheap, unnecessary, shock-value big laughs” trope in the monologue. If that’s true, you have got to be kidding me. SNL’s still doing that in 2021?!? I thought they long moved on from that.
STARS: ****


BLACK WIDOW: AGE OF ME
Marvel cinematic universe adds chick flick starring Black Widow (host)

— Pretty fun concept of a Marvel romcom.
— I can’t find much else to say about this, but like a lot of SNL’s romcom spoofs in this era, this is nailing a lot of that genre’s tropes.
STARS: ***½


GIRLFRIENDS TALK SHOW
prom queen (host) makes ratchet determinations

— This ends up being the final installment of this sketch. I have absolutely no memory of this particular installment, but I’m not expecting much in my current viewing, given how tired this sketch has been in its last few prior installments.
— For once, this sketch actually gets huge audience cheers while the opening theme music is playing.
— A good laugh from Aidy’s “prom-posal” fantasy.
— Yeah, Cecily’s “My boyfriend’s crazy” stories are long stale.
— Overall, let’s just say, 1) I can see why I had no prior memory of this sketch, given how bland and forgettable it turned out, and 2) this recurring sketch in general will not be missed by me.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest & Charlie Puth [real] perform “See You Again”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Ruth Bader Ginsburg (KAM) issues burns & weighs in on same-sex marriage

COJ struggles to find an appropriate comedic take regarding Bruce Jenner

Samwell Tarly (BOM) & Gilly (VAB) are Game of Thrones’ hottest couple

Shaquille O’Neal (JAP) & Charles Barkley (KET) slam today’s NBA players

— Oof, TWO flubbed jokes from Michael early on in tonight’s Update. He’s having a rough night so far.
— Hmm, I didn’t need a Ruth Bader Ginsburg commentary so soon after her first one. Please don’t make me get sick of this impression this early in its run, SNL.
— Great line from Kate’s RBG about Colonel Sanders looking like he should be sipping ice tea at a slave auction.
— Like the time she appeared on Update prior to his, Kate’s RBG performance is fun. And, while I’m still not a fan of her constant Jean K. Jean-esque dance breaks, the slow-jam one where she danced all in Colin’s face make me chuckle.
— Interesting bit with Colin prefacing his “Bruce Jenner identifies as a woman” joke by telling us that this is a delicate subject and that, as a comedy show, SNL has to make jokes about it. Yeah, not sure about that last part, but at least SNL is addressing how touchy this subject matter is (which they wouldn’t have said even as recent as a year or two prior to this, especially given how an Update from the preceding season actually had Cecily [back when she was an Update anchor] do a Jenner-wants-to-be-a-woman joke that might come off as insensitive by today’s standards), though I’m curious and very wary over how this will be handled.
— As it turns out, I do like how the “Bruce Jenner identifies as a woman” joke that Colin attempts to tell features him comically hemming and hawing while trying to find the right appropriate, inoffensive punchline. Some funny exchanges between him and Michael here include 1) “Michael, you wanna jump in here?” “NOPE!”, and 2) “Anyway you slice it–” “Noooooo! Do not say ‘slice it!’” Even though I feel SNL handled this touchy subject matter decently enough, I’m not sure if others today would agree or not. Speaking of which, I heard Michael actually told a trans joke in the most recent episode (John Krasinsky), and that some people are offended by it. If so, that adds a touch of irony to Michael’s various responses to Colin’s struggles in coming up with a politically correct punchline to his “Bruce Jenner identifies as a woman” joke in the Update I’m currently reviewing.
— I get the feeling this Game of Thrones commentary is going to be too Game of Thrones-specific to appeal to me as someone who’s never watched that show.
— It turns out that I got some laughs from Vanessa and Bobby’s overall GoT commentary, but there were still some portions that did nothing for me.
— Michael’s redeeming himself from his rough start in tonight’s Update with some decent ad-libs throughout this Update.
— Kenan seems to be making his distinct comical saying of “po-TAY-toooeees” his new catchphrase in the second half of this season.
— I can’t find anything else to say about the Shaq/Barkley commentary, but it was fine, even if I found some of their previous commentaries to be more stand-out.
STARS: ***


DINO BONES
(host) & (CES) annoy museumgoers with random remarks at dinosaur exhibit

— Another James Anderson/Kent Sublette-written sketch this season that I have VERY negative memories of. So negative that the very sight of this sketch in my current viewing is making my blood boil.
— I’m currently a little over a minute into this sketch, and boy, just as I had remembered, this is fucking TERRIBLE. The hell am I watching?!? How did this make it on the air?
— I feel Kenan’s character’s pain in regards to Cecily and Scarlett’s unbearable characters.
— Oh, someone shut these awful characters of Cecily and Scarlett’s the hell up already. And before anyone says anything, I *get* that the point is these characters are supposed to be annoying and unlikable, but that sure as hell doesn’t automatically make this funny. Nothing about this sketch has been funny to me. This sketch alone contradicts what I said earlier about Cecily giving comforting performances lately in Anderson/Sublette-written sketches.
— Just when I was liking Kenan as the voice of reason in this absolutely dreadful sketch, he pulls that “wilding” fit (complete with music) that I have absolutely no idea how to react to.
STARS: *


BLAZER
footage shows rogue cop Blazer (TAK) targeting only black perpetrators

— As a big fan of 80s TV cop dramas, I love how the style of this pre-tape is a spot-on spoof that genre. I also like how this Blazer character of Taran’s feels like something Will Ferrell would’ve done.
— Pretty funny seeing Wiz Khalifa in this.
— Hilarious part with Taran’s Blazer character crashing through the window of an apartment building just to punch Kenan. Kenan preceding the punch by yelling a horrified “Oh, no! Not again, Blazer!” was also hilarious.
— Very funny conceit with how gradually clear it becomes over the course of this pre-tape that Blazer only targets black guys in regards to his trademark punches.
— A particularly big laugh from the far-away camera shot of Taran running all the way across the roof just to punch a black guy who’s nonchalantly standing there.
— Sharp and timely satire here, especially with the twists at the end regarding the firings of Blazer and his boss.
— Reportedly, Taran would later disclose the fact that the ending shot of him in this Blazer pre-tape, with him tripping when trying to jump over one portion of the roof, resulting in a comical-looking nasty fall, was actually a genuine accident during the filming. Ouch. It made for a damn funny ending shot, though.
STARS: ****½


VIRGIN FLIGHT
malfunctioning robot stewardesses (host) & (VAB) menace first class

— I love Aidy’s angry “HANDS, WOMAN! HANDS!!!” outburst to Scarlett.
— Feels odd seeing Leslie make her first appearance of the night this late into the show.
— Another good angry outburst from someone, this time Leslie’s Tracy Morgan-esque one-liner when Vanessa pours a beverage onto Leslie’s clothes: “MAN, THIS IS LANE BRYANT!”
— Some pretty funny unsettling chaos from the robots stewardesses throughout this sketch.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “We Dem Boyz”


JINGLE WRITERS
(host) & (AIB) pitch tonally-wrong Pampers jingles full of desert animals

— A huge night for Taran, who not only has been ALL OVER this episode, but has been utilized in a Phil Hartman-esque way, playing “glue”-type authoritative figure roles in many of the sketches, including this one. Taran’s been having one of the busiest nights a cast member has ever had in SNL history.
— On an opposite note to what I said about Taran’s tons of airtime, this late-in-the-show appearance from Kyle is strangely the first (and only) we’ve seen him all night, much like Leslie in the preceding Virgin Flight sketch. And now that I think of it, poor Sasheer hasn’t appeared in this episode AT ALL. She’d better get used to it, because I sadly recall her getting shut out of several episodes in the upcoming season 41.
— Aidy’s “Coke for breakfast and ass for dinner” line has stuck with me over the years, though I could never remember which sketch it came from until now. That line deserved a bigger laugh from the audience than it got.
— The first Pampers jingle that Aidy and Scarlett perform is pretty funny, including the use of that often-utilized-by-SNL “falcon squawking” sound effect made famous by Will Forte’s Falconer sketches.
— Okay, after a promising start, the conceit of these Pampers songs is getting kinda old fast.
— That’s the whole sketch? This was very meh.
STARS: **


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Not quite as bad an episode as I had remembered, but still nothing special as a whole. Very little stood out to me as strong and there was a number of misfires, including one of my absolute least favorite sketches of recent years, if not of all time (Dino Bones).


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Blazer
TV 11 News Baltimore
Mayweather-Pacquiao Fight
Black Widow: Age Of Me
Virgin Flight
Weekend Update
Right Side of the Bed with Gracelynn and Cory
Jingle Writers
Girlfriends Talk Show
Monologue
Dino Bones


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Taraji P. Henson)
a slight step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Reese Witherspoon

Posted on

November 13, 2010 – Scarlett Johansson / Arcade Fire (S36 E6)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

CHINA PRESS CONFERENCE
creditor Hu Jintao (BIH) preps to be shafted by USA & Barack Obama (FRA)

— OH NO. Why are they doing a reprise of this fairly unbearable cold opening from the preceding season’s Joseph Gordon-Levitt episode?
— Bill takes over the Hu Jintao role that Will Forte played in the aforementioned previous installment of this cold opening.
— I see Bill’s ability to make his fake Italian gibberish in those Vinny Vedecci sketches sound real has not carried over into his fake Chinese gibberish in this cold opening. His idea of sounding like he’s speaking in Chinese is to LITERALLY just say “kaow kaow kaow kaow” the entire time. Ridiculous. I rarely, if ever, criticize Bill Hader, but oof, this is definitely not one of his shining moments.
— Wait, are you fucking kidding me?!? They’re LITERALLY doing all of the exact same unfunny things from the previous installment of this cold opening, right down to Nasim’s “WHEN SOMEONE IS DOING SEX TO ME!!!” yells right before Bill suggestively bends over towards Fred’s Obama. How the hell do you make that into a recurring sketch? Such laziness. Even calling this cold opening a cheap rewrite would be too generous, because if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear this cold opening is LITERALLY (sorry for overusing that word in this review) using the exact same script from the previous installment of this, with absolutely no changes. Sure feels like it.
— (*sigh*) It feels like I’ve been watching this cold opening for 10 fucking minutes! This is endless and INSUFFERABLE.
— Oh, come the fuck on. Now Bill’s going one step further than Will Forte did in the previous installment of this, by pulling his pants down when bending over during one of the way-too-many “WHEN SOMEONE IS DOING SEX TO ME!!!” parts. This sketch’s desperation to get laughs is so pathetic.
— Overall, my god, did I hate this. One of the worst cold openings I have ever reviewed in this project of mine.
STARS: *


MONOLOGUE
host & tabloidites Dina Lohan (KRW) & Ke$ha (ABE) sing variant of “Class”

— Is it just me, or is Scarlett Johansson’s voice higher-pitched and smoother here than usual? Or maybe I’m just used to her deeper, huskier voice from more recent years. Are cigarettes to blame for her voice getting deeper and huskier over the course of just a few years?
— I like the fake-out with Scarlett saying “The movie Due Date opened last week”, which receives the usual audience applause whenever a host namedrops a movie or TV show of theirs, only for Scarlett to then say “I’m not in it, but I’m excited about it.” They’ve done a similar joke with some other hosts in their monologues, but it always gets me, and Scarlett’s delivery of the joke was good.
— (*sigh*) Another musical monologue this season? We’re only six episodes into this season, and this is already the THIRD musical monologue. After how extremely salty this episode’s cold opening made me, this isn’t the type of monologue I need to lighten my mood.
— Come to think of it, all three of Scarlett’s monologues up to this point of SNL’s run have been musical, and I believe her next monologue after this (from her 2015 hosting stint) is yet another musical one.
— Abby’s Ke$ha impression isn’t working for me at all. Doesn’t sound anything like Ke$ha. Surprising, given what a good impressionist Abby usually is.
— Overall, a typical meh musical monologue.
STARS: **


MTV: MATERNITY TELEVISION
slate of natal programs indicates MTV now stands for maternity television

— An okay concept with a preview of pregnancy-related MTV shows.
— Kinda interesting seeing Scarlett in the My Super Sweet 16 scene, given the fact that she previously starred in a spoof of that show in her season 31 episode.
— Jay’s Nick Cannon impression is funny.
— The comically brief and simplistic Cribs scene with Vanessa was hilarious.
— The usual fun appearance from Bobby’s Snooki.
STARS: ***


THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER
Patti Stanger (host) pairs a mousy nerd (VAB)

— I don’t think I’ve ever heard Vanessa use that high-pitched froggy voice in any other sketch during her entire 7-year SNL tenure. She almost sounds like a Kristen Wiig character here.
— Solid performance from Scarlett, even if she can do this kind of brash New Yorker role in her sleep (she seems to play a brash New Yorker at least once in EVERY hosting stint of hers, though I’ve yet to see her most recent hosting stint from season 45, and thus, I don’t know if she does any brash New Yorker roles in that one).
— Nothing else to say about this overall sketch, but it was okay.
STARS: ***


THE MANUEL ORTIZ SHOW
Latin flair punctuates a paternity controversy

— Ohhhhh, god.
— I’m currently almost two minutes into this, and as you can imagine, I am completely stone-faced.
— Bill finally gave me my first laugh of this sketch, with his delivery of “So this is whyyyyyyyy!”, along with his frozen open-mouthed facial expression right after that line.
— Ooh, I like Nasim’s delivery here. Her energetic, fiery delivery feels almost out of place in this tepid, by-the-numbers sketch.
STARS: *½


UNSTOPPABLE
Denzel Washington (JAP) & Chris Pine (TAK) have training day

— Great to see another showcase for Jay’s spot-on and fun Denzel Washington impression. I also love this pairing of him and fellow newbie Taran.
— A great smug smirk on Taran-as-Chris-Pine’s face after his put-down to Jay’s Denzel just now: “Where’d you learn trains, old man – from inventing them???”
— The “BOOM!” that Jay’s Denzel suddenly yells right before the train crash was hilarious.
— Not sure the ending with the train crashing into the Chrysler Building worked for me, but it didn’t taint the quality of this short for me.
STARS: ****


HOLLYWOOD DISH
host’s answers are manipulated during her interview with Hollywood Dish

— Another recurring sketch tonight that I never cared for. These Hollywood Dish sketches are just an annoying Wiig/Hader mugfest. (Yeesh, that’s two times in this episode review that I’ve had something negative to say about Bill Hader, one of my absolute favorite cast members of all time.) Thankfully, this ends up being the final installment of this sketch.
— As usual in this recurring sketch, the only laugh I’ve gotten in tonight’s installment so far is from when Kristen and Bill make their interviewee say or do something intense and exaggerated that makes them look insane.
— In this installment, during the usual part of these sketches where Bill spits/throws food all over Kristen during one of his shocked reaction shots, both Kristen and (especially) Bill break. Bill usually always breaks during that part in the dress rehearsal version of these sketches, some of which SNL has replaced the live version of with in reruns.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “We Used To Wait”


WEEKEND UPDATE
reconciled George W. Bush (JAS) & Kanye West (JAP) now like hanging out

even before the fire, Carnival Cruise passenger (VAB) was very aggrieved

— Jason’s George W. Bush impression makes its first appearance in over two years, and this ends up being its final appearance. Feels odd seeing him on Weekend Update for a change.
— A pretty funny and solid Kanye West impression from Jay (though I kinda prefer current cast member Chris Redd’s Kanye impression). Jay’s been having a good night, with quite a lot of his impressions being showcased.
— The basic concept of Vanessa and Fred’s commentary as well as their characters is strangely reminiscent of a (very forgettable) Update commentary that Rachel Dratch and Chris Kattan did together in the season 28 Robert DeNiro episode, though I guess there’s enough differences between both versions.
— Vanessa is very good here as a ranting old Jewish(?) lady.
— One BIG difference between the aforementioned Dratch/Kattan commentary and this Bayer/Armisen commentary is that this has a much better punchline, with Fred responding to Seth’s “You let her [Vanessa] sleep for three days?” question by saying a deadpan “Wouldn’t you?” The punchline of the Dratch/Kattan commentary, on the other hand, was a lame, lazy, and cheap vomiting gag.
STARS: ***


ST. KAT’S MIDDLE
(KET)’s broken knee outmatches fellow teens’ positive vibes

— UH-OH. Here’s a very notorious sketch that this episode is probably most remembered for, and is a sketch that I and certain other people have always absolutely despised.
— Holy hell. Yep, it turns out this sketch is just as unbelievably horrible and one-joke as I had remembered, and is bringing out Kenan’s worst Nickelodeon-level hammy tendencies, this time complete with EXTREME FACIAL CLOSE-UPS.
— Thanks to how germophobic our current COVID pandemic has made me, I now can’t help but kinda wince seeing Kenan constantly pressing his face (including the side of his mouth) against that dirty-ass floor throughout this sketch.
— When party music was supposed to play when Taran turned on the radio one of the times Kenan’s character was being forced out of his wheelchair, they accidentally played the doom-and-gloom dramatic music that’s supposed to play during Kenan’s various face-on-the-floor rants, before quickly switching it to the party music. That audio gaffe is sadly more amusing to me than the intended comedy of this sketch.
— This…this…just…how does a sketch like this make it on the air?!? Was the writer(s) of this sketch just dicking around and intentionally wrote a bad piece, just as a goof to see if it would somehow make it past dress rehearsal? That’s the only explanation I can think of for how this sketch came to be. I’d sure hate to think the writer(s) penned this thinking it was legitimately good.
— I can actually understand why some people would find an enjoyable, guilty pleasure, “So bad, it’s good” quality to this sketch. If you’re one of those people, more power to you. I wish I could have the same “So bad, it’s good” viewpoint, but nope. No dice. This sketch just ain’t for me AT ALL.
— When this originally aired, I remember thinking it felt very much like a typical disastrous sketch from season 20, and I pictured Chris Farley in Kenan’s role, and imagined that the extreme close-ups of Farley with his face pressed against the floor would’ve had him doing his badly-overused-in-season-20 screaming shtick, with him yelling his season 20 catchphrases like “SON OF A BITCH!”, “SHUT YER PIEHOLE!”, and calling an unhappy-looking Janeane Garofalo-played character a stupid whore (the latter complete with misguided wild laughter and applause from the audience), instead of the dialogue that Kenan’s yelling here (“GO AWAY!”, “LEAVE ME BE!”, “YOU DON’T LISTEN!”, etc.). As strange as what I’m about to say may sound, I find it more fun to imagine this sketch as a horrible season 20 sketch than I find it to watch the actual season 36 version of the sketch. Very reminiscent of how, when I reviewed the awful Big Wigs sketch from the season 32 Jaime Pressly episode, I had far more fun imagining it as a bad season 6 sketch and theorizing which season 6 cast member would’ve played which role.
— Even the minor fact that, when the audience starts applauding as the sketch ends, Kenan can be seen IMMEDIATELY dropping character, getting up from the floor, and walking off the set (while having a look on his face that almost suggests he’s thinking “Well…THAT happened”), instead of waiting for the camera to fade to black, just adds to the “disastrous sketch” atmosphere of this, as well as the unprofessional “season 20” vibe. Kinda reminds me of how Kenan would later react at the very end of another sketch that I’ve seen some people consider disastrous: a sketch from the season 40 Dakota Johnson episode in which Kenan plays a surgeon dressed as Worf from Star Trek. (I personally don’t have any real opinion of that sketch, mostly because I remember very little of it, but we’ll see how I’ll react to it when I eventually review it.) When that sketch fades to black at the end as the audience is applauding, Kenan, apparently thinking his mic was turned off, can be heard dropping character and saying “Cue that applause” in a relieved, jokingly-kinda-bossy manner, as if he was not happy with the sketch he had just performed.
— Overall, this sketch was just as fucking horrible as I deemed it to be back when it originally aired.
STARS: *


WHAT WAS THAT?
student (ANS) & musical guest excoriate United Nations

— Something about the way Andy’s voice cracked when he whine-yelled “The Khmer Rooouuuuge?!?” made me laugh out loud.
— So far, I don’t know why this short is supposed to be funny, but Andy’s musical whining is strangely amusing me.
— Not sure what the point is of Arcade Fire taking over this short. Their appearance in this is doing nothing for me, even if it has a fun atmosphere.
— I love how one word in Arcade Fire’s song got bleeped out when I can barely even understand a word they’re singing in this short anyway. They could’ve left that bleeped-out expletive uncensored and I wouldn’t have even caught it.
— That’s it??? The whole Arcade Fire bit is the end of this short??? Another Digital Short this season that ended on a poor note, much like the I Broke My Arm short. At least everything else in that I Broke My Arm short was pretty solid. The pre-ending portions of this What Was That short, on the other hand, were just odd, despite how much Andy’s whiny delivery consistently tickled me.
STARS: **½


A TREAT FROM PAULA DEEN’S KITCHEN
Paula Deen’s (KRW) Big Ol’ Soakems sop oil from her butter-heavy recipes

— An okay portrayal of Paula Deen from Kristen.
— That sudden bleeped-out expletive from Kristen’s Deen came out of nowhere.
— This overall sketch kinda just came and went, but was okay enough, I guess. There wasn’t anything I found particularly bad about it.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)”


STARS OF TOMORROW
peppy tweens (host) & Laura Parsons (VAB) declaw drama

— Great to see newbie Vanessa has been getting so many big roles in this episode. This is also the debut of her soon-to-be-recurring child actress character, Laura Parsons.
— Funny scenes with Vanessa and Scarlett’s characters each acting out heavy, dramatic iconic movie scenes in that cheesy child star delivery of theirs, though Vanessa is by far outshining Scarlett in that department. I’m sure this is a character Vanessa had been doing before SNL, judging from how polished and established Vanessa is instantly coming off in this role.
— A particularly funny scene with Vanessa and Scarlett both acting out the famous “I wish I knew how to quit you” scene from Brokeback Mountain together.
STARS: ****


MIKE’S BUSTERIA
Mike & daughter Lexi ballyhoo ceramic busts’ inherent class

— The fourth and final installment of this recurring sketch. Very odd how this installment is buried all the way at the end of the show, given how much earlier in the show the previous installments aired in their respective episodes.
— Meh, “ceramic busts” doesn’t sound anywhere near as funny in exaggerated New York accents as previously-advertised products in this recurring sketch like “maww-ble cahhh-lumns” or “pawww-celain fountains” did.
— Wow, the audience is DEAD during this sketch. Can’t say I blame them, though, as the usual routines in this recurring sketch have a tired feel tonight. Not even Scarlett’s usual “Look at this one, or that one” routine is getting much of a reaction from the audience, and they usually react BIG to that in these sketches.
— Overall, nope. This sketch did NOT work. A sad, hollow end to an otherwise fairly fun and harmless recurring sketch.
STARS: *½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Despite two solid pieces and some average things, I find this to be a weak episode as a whole. There were a few too many annoying recurring sketches and some exceptionally bad pieces, mainly that fucking wretched cold opening and the notorious St. Kat’s Middle, two of the most anger-inducing things I’ve reviewed in a long time.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


RATED SEGMENTS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST
Stars Of Tomorrow
Unstoppable
The Millionaire Matchmaker
Weekend Update
MTV: Maternity Television
A Treat From Paula Deen’s Kitchen
What Was That?
Monologue
Hollywood Dish
The Manuel Ortiz Show
Mike’s Busteria
St. Kat’s Middle
China Press Conference


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jon Hamm)
a big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Anne Hathaway

Posted on

April 21, 2007 – Scarlett Johansson / Bjork (S32 E18)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

WHITE HOUSE PRESS CONFERENCE
evasive George W. Bush (JAS) lets Chuck Schumer-on-tape [real] start show

— At least this is a President Bush press conference that has him interacting with reporters instead of delivering a barely-funny straight-to-camera speech once again.
— Jason-as-Bush’s random nicknames for the reporters are increasingly funny.
— This cold opening is dying for me during the back-and-forth between Jason’s Bush and Maya, and the audience apparently agrees with me, judging from their silence.
— Meh at the bit with the brainteasers book.
— Even the nicknames bit that I praised earlier in this cold opening has now gotten old.
— Kristen’s list of demands has some funny lines, and is being well-delivered by her.
— Jesus Christ, this cold opening has been going on for eight minutes. EIGHT FUCKING MINUTES, PEOPLE! That is absolutely ridiculous for something that contains material as scant and weak as this. I’m sure I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating: Jim Downey is given WAY too much free rein during these past-his-prime years of his SNL run. Lorne needs to realize that this is long past the days where Downey’s political writing was always reliable.
— An extremely random pre-taped Chuck Schumer cameo, just there to say “Live from New York…”.
STARS: *½


MONOLOGUE
host cheers Sanjaya Malakar (ANS) with “Something To Talk About” duet

— The return of Andy’s topical Sanjaya impression.
— Meh, a musical monologue.
— Some fairly interesting and impressively-fast hair changes from Andy all throughout the song. Not sure how they’re pulling those changes off so quickly. Unfortunately, that’s the only semi-interesting thing going on during this song.
STARS: *½


LIVE WITH REGIS & KELLY
Ivanka Trump (host) plugs away

— Wow, they haven’t done this sketch in years. The last time it appeared was when Donald Trump hosted (*shudder*) back in season 29. This also ends up being the final Regis & Kelly sketch that has Darrell and Amy. There would later be at least one Regis & Kelly installment with different performers playing the roles.
— Funny cutaway to Fred as Howie Mandel on standby in case Regis can’t go on with the show. And at least this means SNL refrained from having Chris Kattan do another cameo as Gelman, or resort to giving the Gelman role to a current cast member (I still can’t believe they stuck Rachel Dratch with that role last time this sketch appeared.)
— Speaking of Donald Trump, it feels kinda odd in retrospect seeing Scarlett debut her Ivanka Trump impression 10 years before it would become a regular role she’d play on SNL.
— Amy’s crying as Kelly Ripa right now actually looks very convincing.
— Okay, the cutaways to Fred’s Mandel are way too frequent. It ain’t funny anymore.
STARS: ***


PROM DRESS SHOPPING
Virginiaca helps stepdaughter (host) shop for hootchie-worthy prom dress

— Ugh, another Virginiaca sketch. And she’s now getting recognition applause from the audience?
— I once again ask: how many white stepdaughters does this character have?
— Once again, I can find nothing to really say during this sketch, except it’s the usual insufferable Virginiaca tripe.
STARS: *


ROY RULES!
ANS has more than a mancrush on his brother-in-law

— Interesting seeing Lonely Island take on 70s/80s heavy metal for once instead of the music genres they typically cover.
— Good use of SNL writer Bryan Tucker.
— The “24/7 69” lyric was very funny.
— I love the random, brief key change in the song, with Andy comically singing in a tender manner while playing piano.
STARS: ***½


MIKE’S MARBLEOPOLIS
Chandelier Galaxy scion Lexi (host) touts classiness of marble columns

— The second installment of this series of sketches, becoming a staple of Scarlett Johansson’s early episodes.
— Fred’s distinct, exaggerated, New York-accented delivery of “Maww-ble cahh-lums” is probably his funniest pronunciation of the product being sold out of all of the installments in this recurring sketch.
STARS: ***½


WIIX NEWS
Michelle Dison’s lesbian leanings resurface during interview with (host)

— The real-life TV station name used in the first installment of this sketch earlier this season, WVIR, has been changed to an apparently fictional TV station name in tonight’s installment: WIIX, which is apparently a play on Kristen’s real-life last name. Presumably, the reason for the change in station names is because WVIR is a Virginia station, and the infamous Virginia Tech school shooting had happened just a few days before this episode, and thus, SNL apparently felt it would’ve been in poor taste to use Virginia’s TV station name during this tragic time.
— It’s mentioned that Kristen’s Michelle Dison character is returning from a leave of absence she had taken for about 6 months, which I assume is continuity from the end of the first installment of this sketch, as that installment aired about 6-7 months prior to this.
— Between the Roy Rules short and Kristen’s bi-curious tendencies in this sketch, there seems to be a bit of a theme going on in tonight’s episode.
— I love Scarlett’s taken-aback delivery of “I…I don’t know what’s going on” when bombarded with a whole bunch of friendly-but-way-too-forward offers from an awkwardly flirtatious Michelle Dison.
— The random cat attack ending felt very inferior compared to the bird poop ending from the first installment of this sketch.
— Overall, this was basically just a re-write of the first installment of this sketch. It still worked for me, mostly due to Kristen’s good execution of the material, but this installment paled in comparison to the first installment.
STARS: ***


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Earth Intruders”


WEEKEND UPDATE
incredulous SEM & AMP say “Really!?!” to Alberto Gonzales’ amnesia

for Earth Day, WLF sings about the wonderful planet we live on

— Two big changes of pace right out of the gate in this Update: Amy’s hairstyle, and Seth getting to deliver the opening joke for, I believe, the first time ever.
— Boy, Bryan Tucker is getting lots of face time tonight (the third above screencap for this Weekend Update).
— Good to see the “Really?!?” segment from earlier this season return.
— Much like the last “Really?!?” prior to this, we get some more great barbs from Seth and Amy, though these aren’t as memorable as the ones from the Michael Vick-themed “Really?!?” from earlier this season.
— Yes! Another Will Forte Update song!
— Like Will’s last Update song prior to this, he gets assistance from a guitar-playing Fred.
— Very funny lyrics from Will about what bad things he does towards the planet.
— Pretty funny turn in Will’s song with him now singing the praises of the movie Battlefield Earth.
— Pretty nice hearing the audience get involved in clapping the beat of Will’s song.
STARS: ***


KUATOS
male (ANS) & female (host) Kuatos gross out dinner guests (FRA) & (AMP)

— This is now the THIRD recurring sketch tonight that debuted in this season’s Jaime Pressly episode. (The other two being Virginiaca and Michelle Dison.) I remember when tonight’s episode originally aired, I worriedly asked myself during this Kuato sketch, “What next? The return of that godforsaken Big Wigs sketch?”
— Not sure we needed to see a second installment of this Kuato thing. I still don’t know what to make of the first installment of it.
— Scarlett as a female Kuato? Meh.
— So far, I don’t think I’ve laughed a single time during this sketch yet.
— Fred: “I do NOT like where this is going.” That makes two of us, knowing in retrospect what this sketch is leading up to.
— Aaaaand there it goes. Why has this sketch suddenly turned into Rookie Cop 2.0, with the chain reaction of vomiting? The original Rookie Cop sketch is actually a guilty pleasure of mine, as fully disclosed in my review of it, but I certainly didn’t need this Kuato sketch to turn into some kind of pale version of it.
— Ugh, as if the parade of vomiting wasn’t bad enough, now SNL throws another appearance from Darrell’s fucking Ahnuld impression at us to close out this mess.
STARS: *


NEWS MAKERS WITH JANE PAULEY
Jane Pauley (KRW) interviews stars of viral online videos

— Shortly into the small scene with Fred as the dancing little person, I got a laugh from Kristen’s Jane Pauley just saying “Aaaaaand let’s just end the interview there.” Speaking of which, according to Fred in a blog he had on NBC.com’s SNL site back around 2007/2008, the dress rehearsal version of this sketch had MULTIPLE cutaways to him as the dancing little person all throughout the sketch. Fred was bummed to learn after dress rehearsal that SNL was cutting down the number of his scenes in this sketch to just one. I think SNL did us a favor with that decision.
— I love Kristen’s Jane Pauley questioning the bad puns she’s reading off the teleprompter.
— Boy, I haven’t seen that Grape-Stomping Lady video in ages.
— Another blast from the past, with Will’s spoof of the Star Wars Kid video that was popular back in this era.
STARS: ***


TV FUNHOUSE
“Torboto” by RBS- at Guantanamo Bay, torturing robot does the dirty work

— Damn, that is a great theme song.
— A spoof of the old Anime series Gigantor, which I’m not all that familiar with, though I’m at least familiar enough with its animation to know that this spoof is doing a spot-on imitation of that animation.
— The Amish part was pretty funny.
— All of the torture the robot is doing to the prisoners feels like a poor man’s version of the Shazzang cartoon from the Will Ferrell-hosted season 30 episode.
— I don’t get the cat/tree/reassignment thing Torboto did at the end of this.
— Overall, I’m pretty meh on this. Aside from the classic Maraka cartoon, Robert Smigel hasn’t had a good track record lately as we head towards the end of his TV Funhouse run on SNL.
STARS: **


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Wanderlust”


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— An off episode, and the first episode I disliked in what feels like a long time (which at least shows how well this season had been going). Among the problems of this episode: none of the sketches stood out to me as strong (the highest rating I gave out was just a mere three-and-a-half stars, though I may soon change the Roy Rules rating to four stars, as I’m having a hard time deciding which rating I personally feel it deserves), there was a lot of unnecessary rehashing of about 30% of the sketches from the not-all-that-great Jaime Pressly episode, some of the non-recurring stuff was also weak, and the overall show had a very forgettable feel. Not a particularly awful episode, but mediocre for this season’s standards.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Shia LaBeouf)
a big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Molly Shannon

Posted on

January 14, 2006 – Scarlett Johansson / Death Cab For Cutie (S31 E10)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

THE 700 GANG
by RBS- to Pat Robertson, divine retribution explains all

— Uh…oooooooookay. So we’re starting with a Smigel cartoon? Well, THIS is certainly new.
— A very rare case of a cold opening not being live. We end up getting another non-live cold opening just two episodes from now.
— I’m always down for SNL breaking from their formula and trying something different, but this particular instance has too sloppy a feel. You can totally tell this cartoon was not intended for the cold opening slot and was taken out of a larger cartoon (which airs later in tonight’s episode), especially given how this cold opening abruptly begins with a voice-over saying “Then it’s Pat Robertson and the 700 Gang”, as if this was preceded by something.
— Very funny ridiculous claims from Pat Robertson to a group of baffled children about why God punished then-recently-deceased or ailing celebrities.
— The “Live from New York…” from Pat Robertson’s voice (Robert Smigel) at the end came off VERY hastily and sloppily re-dubbed. You can so tell that “Live from New York…” was not originally voiced during the making of this cartoon, because 1) the quality of the audio of Robertson’s LFNY sounds jarringly different from the rest of this cartoon, 2) Robertson’s mouth during that LFNY is clearly saying something else, and 3) Robertson’s mouth is seen still speaking after we finish hearing him yell LFNY. We also don’t get the typical camera zoom-in during Robertson’s LFNY.
— And the cold opening is ALREADY over, after only about a minute. This has got to be one of the shortest cold openings in recent memory.
— This overall cartoon itself was actually pretty solid, but it was just too jarring, sloppy, and poorly-edited in the cold opening slot. Should’ve either kept it within the TV Funhouse later tonight, or just aired the whole TV Funhouse as a cold opening.
— When this episode would later be rerun, this 700 Gang cold opening would have some alterations, including a re-animated ending that not only would have Robertson’s mouth movements actually match his LFNY, but would also include the camera doing the appropriate zoom-in on him during his LFNY.
STARS: **½


MONOLOGUE
host & less-famous AMP sing “Isn’t It Wonderful Being A Star?”

— I see Amy’s gotten a tan over the Christmas break. Or does her skin only look a little darker than usual standing next to Scarlett Johansson?
— Meh, another song-and-dance monologue.
— Some funny self-deprecating digs from Amy at her own lack of big fame.
— Overall, this didn’t turn out too bad for a song-and-dance monologue. Amy’s lyrics during the song, and the way those lyrics humorously contrasted with Scarlett’s lyrics, made this entertaining enough.
STARS: ***


TACO TOWN
Rerun from 10/8/05


DEEP HOUSE DISH
DJ Dynasty Handbag (KET) welcomes (AMP), (host), (CHP)

— Meh, this has become recurring.
— Amy’s song at least convincingly sounds like it could be a real song.
— Once again, ugh at all the “Ooh-wee, Tiara”s throughout this sketch. A terrible running gag.
— Ha, Chris is actually pretty funny during his musical performance.
STARS: **


SMORGASBORD
Scandinavian cooks (SEM) & (host) & their recipes are gloomy

Swedish Chef (ANS) has joined the craze for ringtones

— A laugh from the random opening credits sequence, especially the dubbed voice for Seth.
— Funny reveal of Scarlett’s comatose husband currently being in the same room this cooking show is filmed in, but this is the second time this season that Bill was stuck playing either a dead or comatose person in a sketch, when SNL could’ve easily just have gotten an extra for either roles. In fact, Bill doesn’t have any lines in any sketches tonight. I know he’s still new at this point, but for a newbie who has shown eons of potential and was very well-liked among SNL fans at the time, his airtime has sadly taken a big hit these past few episodes. I can’t remember the last really big or noteworthy role he had in a sketch. The Vincent Price sketch from way back in November of this season???
— The Swedish Chef Ringtones commercial is freakin’ hilarious, and a great spoof of this era’s craze of ringtone commercials.
— A pretty funny lengthy run-on explanation from Seth on why Scarlett doesn’t like a cup of glog.
— Overall, a pretty good sketch spoofing gloomy Swedish culture.
STARS: ***


TV FUNHOUSE
by RBS- religious kids programming covers evolution, stem cells, celibacy

— Smigel does another spot-on spoof of typical Hanna-Barbera 1960s animation.
— A great dopey voice for Darwin, which I think is supposed to sound like Magilla Gorilla.
— I like the format of this, with a collection of various religious-themed cartoons, with the Darwin cartoon being the main feature. The 700 Gang cold opening from earlier, which was obviously originally intended to be one of the various religious-themed cartoons in this TV Funhouse, would’ve flowed much better had it aired here.
— I love all the angry yells of “DAR-WIIIIIIIN!” from the straight men in the Darwin cartoon.
STARS: ***½


MIKE & TONI’S CHANDELIER GALAXY
Mike (FRA) & Toni’s (RAD) Chandelier Galaxy has classy lighting fixtures

— The first of a series of sketches with Fred’s character advertising different elegant house decorations. This is the only one where Fred’s character is joined by his wife, played by Rachel, given the fact that the subsequent installments of this sketch are all after Rachel has left the cast.
— Fred’s accent is very funny, and Fred just has a knack for making this type of material funny, much like the computer school commercial from the preceding season’s Paris Hilton episode.
— Some laughs from a silent Rachel stiffly making hand movements that match Fred’s gestures during his speaking to the camera.
— Overall, a charming and fun execution of such a comically dumb and thin premise.
STARS: ***½


DULUTH LIVE
Jim Morrison-esque (WLF) & band perform epic theme song

— Here comes yet another Will Forte masterpiece, which is great to see one episode after Will just had an all-time masterpiece (Spelling Bee).
— Some technical gaffes early on, especially Jason’s microphone not working when he’s introducing the show’s band.
— In some ways, the sketch feels to me like a bit of a precursor to the famous recurring What Up With That sketches, only even crazier, which is a huge plus for me, especially when that craziness involves Will Forte front-and-center.
— Oh, hell yeah! As if this hilarious sketch couldn’t get any better, now Will is starting to go full-on Batshit Insane Will Forte mode, with his whole angry, intense, red-faced, spoken “Thunderbird spirit” rant and his sung “Please, mama, don’t you point that gun at meeeeeee!” bit.
— Impressive bit with Will chugging a whole bottle of Jack Daniels.
— Fantastic maniacal drumming from Fred, a great use of his real-life drumming skills.
STARS: *****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Soul Meets Body”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Samuel Alito’s wife Martha-Ann (RAD) reacts during confirmation hearing

Nutbird News Quiz- AMP tries to identify loony Pat Robertson quotes

Shaggy Hair Corner- ANS speaks on behalf of those sharing his hairstyle

 

— Oh, no. We get a variation of the awful bit from an earlier Update this season where Rachel played congresswoman Jean Schmidt, with her now playing Samuel Alito’s wife.
— I did at least get a chuckle from the cutaway to Rachel-as-Alito’s-wife wearing a fake long white beard while looking impatiently at her watch, and the only reason I liked that was because it reminded me of the Long White Beard commercial SNL did in the late 80s, one of my personal favorites of the commercials from that era.
— Ugh at the punchline to one joke being Amy doing extended singing of lyrics from Limp Bizkit’s “Nookie”. Unnecessary and annoying.
— Is that behind-the-scenes SNL legend Hal Willner in the photo of the crazy homeless guy (the twelfth above screencap for this Update)?
— This Nutbird News Quiz between Tina and Amy reminds me too much of the Bitch Fight News Quiz they did earlier this season, though this one isn’t quite as bad.
— Ha, the Nutbird News Quiz segment ended up being worth it just to hear Don Pardo at the end say in a quivery voice “Insane in the membrane, insane in the brrrrraaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiin!”
— Andy in his own Update commentary. SNL is obviously pushing him tonight after the humongous success Lazy Sunday experienced over SNL’s Christmas break prior to this episode.
— Tina sets up Andy’s “Shaggy Hair Corner” by saying it’s the first of what will be a regular segment. We would end up never seeing this segment return.
— I always love seeing childhood photos of SNL cast members, which we see of Andy here (the fifth-and-sixth-to-last above screencaps for this Update). I love how oddly 1970s Andy’s high-school photo looks (the fifth-to-last above screencap for this Update), which is even funnier when you realize that photo must’ve been from around the mid-90s.
— In the fake album cover of Andy (the fourth-to-last above screencap for this Update), he appears to be wearing the exact same viking attire he would later famously wear in a certain popular Natalie Portman-starring Digital Short from later this season.
— Andy’s overall commentary wasn’t much, and he seemed to know it was dumb. His likable charm was the only thing carrying it. I can see why this segment ends up never becoming recurring.
STARS: **


MY SUPER SWEET 16
spoiled rich kid (host) demands an extravagant party

— Amy’s skin looks particularly darker than usual in this sketch.
— What was with the long, awkward pause just now, right before Amy said something? Did Scarlett forget a line and Amy was forced to jump ahead of the script to keep the sketch moving?
— I love Chris’ controlled frustration throughout this sketch as the father. He’s always perfect at portraying calm-but-subtly-irritated characters.
— While there are some laughs from this sketch’s portrayal of typical spoiled girls on My Super Sweet 16, this sketch is still falling a little short for me, though I’m not sure why.
STARS: **½


ONCE IN A LIFETIME JEWELERS
cheerful prater Ed Mahoney (JAS) aims to get a ring from a jewelry store

— A very strong and fun characterization from Jason.
— I love Jason’s line “Would the 16-year-old me be excited about the woman the 30-year-old him was about to marry? Probably not”, then saying “Then again, the 16-year-old me was kind of a dick.”
— Very funny line from Jason requesting a ring for his girlfriend that’s not so small that she’ll kick him in the nuts. Then when Scarlett says she hopes that’s not true, Jason hilariously responds “You hope that’s not true?!? Get in line behind my nuts!”, then admitting his girlfriend is actually very nice to his nuts, which is part of the reason why he’s buying a ring for her in the first place.
— Man, Jason has non-stop funny lines in this entire sketch. He is killing it here. Even just his character’s mere laugh throughout this sketch is a great little character detail.
— Finesse gets stuck in his usual non-speaking bit role, for the second time tonight. His chances of coming back the following season are looking slimmer and slimmer by the episode.
— Ah, this sketch takes place in Kansas City, which makes sense, as I think that’s where Jason grew up in real life.
— Hilarious ending with Jason’s failed attempt to dash out of the store with stolen jewelry.
STARS: ****½


SUBMARINE AFFAIR
oceanographer (SEM) is cuckolded by (host) & (HOS) aboard a minisubmarine

— Lately, I’ve been starting to forget Horatio is even still in the cast. He’s yet another cast member who’s airtime has really taken a hit lately (hell, he was nowhere to be seen in the preceding Jack Black episode, and there’s another episode later this season that he’s absent in, I think the Lindsay Lohan one), but unlike Bill and Finesse’s lack of airtime lately, I certainly have no complaints about Horatio’s decreased presence.
— Seth has noticeably flubbed a line in both sketches he’s starred in tonight.
— I love Horatio’s forced-friendly “Heyyyy” to Seth after Scarlett reveals to Seth that she’s been having an affair with Horatio.
— Some really funny things happening in such a tiny submarine, such as Horatio’s only way of giving Seth and Scarlett some privacy is by simply turning over onto his side to face the other direction.
— Hmm, much like Seth, Scarlett herself has been a bit flubby with some her lines throughout tonight’s episode.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Crooked Teeth”


MR. WILLOUGHBY
(TIF), (RAD), (host) pine for yucky Mr. Willoughby in Jane Austen movie

— A huge Bill Brasky vibe to this sketch. This sketch is basically what the Bill Brasky sketches would be if the characters in it were dignified 19th-century women instead of drunk, loud, modern-day businessmen.
— As always, Rachel is so much fun playing Victorian-era women.
— While these ridiculous one-liners being spouted off about Mr. Willoughby don’t hold a candle to the ridiculous one-liners typically spouted off about Bill Brasky, they’re still pretty solid.
— I particularly like Tina’s line “Some say at night, he roams the fields performing lewdnesses on the livestock…but I believe it!”
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— The streak of good episodes continues. I liked most of the sketches in this episode, one is a classic (Duluth Live), and one is seemingly forgotten among most SNL fans but a near-classic in my personal opinion (Once in a Lifetime Jewelers). This episode is also an example of one of the things I love about this season, and why this season is such a breath of fresh air from the dire season that preceded it: the refreshing and solid sketch concepts on display, such as the Submarine Affair sketch.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS

 


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jack Black)
a mild step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Peter Sarsgaard