Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars
NBC SPECIAL REPORT
at a press conference, Elian Gonzalez (CHK) badmouths the USA
— Boy, this season sure feels like it’s had a lot of NBC Special Report cold openings that begin with Parnell’s Tom Brokaw.
— Funny initial visual of Kattan’s Elian Gonzalez being carried into the scene.
— Elian’s slams on Miami are funny.
— A lot of Elian’s lines have been getting a pretty lukewarm audience reaction so far.
— Not sure we needed this cold opening to turn into a song.
STARS: **½
OPENING MONTAGE
— Don Pardo must be feeling ill, as he sounds awful tonight. His voice is hoarse and has no energy, making him sound half-asleep. His announcements in tonight’s episode would later be replaced in reruns with announcements where he sounds like his usual self.
MONOLOGUE
flu-ravaged cast may necessitate cancellation of host’s SNL episode
— Interesting monologue premise of everyone having the flu. When Freddie Prinze Jr. mentioned who at SNL is sick, I wish he mentioned Don Pardo, considering how bad Don legitimately sounded in the opening montage.
— When Lorne says they’re gonna have to replace tonight’s episode with The Best of Rob Schneider, I love Tim stopping mid-drink to yell “No!”, which is funny when you remember that Tim used to be castmates with Rob Schneider.
— A good laugh from the rectal thermometer bit with Cheri and Will.
— A hilarious bit with Tracy listing his STD symptoms as flu symptoms, then angrily exclaiming “DAMN!” when being corrected by Freddie.
STARS: ****
COLONEL BELMONT’S OLD FASHIONED HORSE GLUE
Colonel Belmont’s Old Fashioned Horse Glue has no artificial ingredients
— Ehh, not too sure about this premise. Will’s solid delivery is helping to elevate this iffy material.
— I like the quick shot of Parnell passing by the camera with a wheelbarrow of horse hooves while saying “Horse comin’ through!”
STARS: **½
WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE
contestant (WIF) quits after winning $100
— SNL would later replace this sketch with the dress rehearsal version. In that version, Will wears a wig, whereas he has his real hair in the live version I’m currently reviewing of this sketch.
— Solid turn with Will foolishly calling it quits early after winning $100 from the first question, resulting in him getting booed off the set.
— Overall, short and sweet. The fact that they surprisingly concluded this sketch so early after such a big set-up is what made this so funny.
STARS: ***½
BOY BAND BLOWOUT 2000
(host) is the new lead singer of 7 Degrees Celsius
— The 7 Degrees Celsius sketch now becomes recurring, an exact year after it debuted in the second January episode from the preceding season.
— Parnell’s delivery in these 7 Degrees Celsius sketches always makes me laugh.
— Like the first installment of this sketch, this sketch is a spot-on parody of boy bands from this era, but tonight’s installment is lacking what I loved in the first installment.
— Wow, the audience is absolutely DEAD during the Ana/Cheri portions of this sketch, despite the fact that Ana and Cheri have several lines designed to get laughs.
— Funny visual of Parnell dragging around a giant computer mouse during the band’s AOL song.
— Also during the AOL song, I love Jimmy making internet dial-up sounds with his mouth.
— Good ending with Horatio’s son appearing.
— Hey, why didn’t this overall sketch have the manager character, played by Will? He usually steals these 7 Degrees Celsius sketches.
— Overall, some laughs here, but as a whole, 7 Degrees Celsius doesn’t work as a recurring sketch.
STARS: **½
JENNY CRAIG
Monica Lewinsky (MOS) likes the phallic dishes possible with Jenny Craig
— A pretty obvious and one-joke premise of Molly’s Monica Lewinsky liking phallic-looking meals.
— Overall, meh, this didn’t do much for me, which makes tonight’s episode 0-for-2 in pre-taped commercials that work for me.
STARS: **
MODELS
ugly models (RAD) & (CHO) have high self-esteem; Angie Everhart cameo
— Jimmy’s delivery of the word “mofo” was worth a laugh.
— Jimmy’s character mentions having a sister named Gloria, which seems to be an inside reference, as Jimmy actually does have a sister named Gloria in real life.
— I got another laugh from Jimmy, this time with him going through the trouble of getting his drink just so he could do a very delayed spit-take in response to finding out about the two ugly models.
— Funny reveal of Rachel and Cheri’s model characters being models for the “before” pictures in before/after ads.
— Random Angie Everhart cameo. And geez, she entered to COMPLETE SILENCE from the audience. They gave her entrance absolutely NO response. In fact, they’ve been quiet during this sketch in general, which is the third time I’ve made that observation in this episode review so far. What’s going on with tonight’s episode?
— I like Freddie asking “Is it a Sandra Bernhard thing?” when trying to figure out the ugly models’ hotness.
— Overall, some laughs, but a somewhat forgettable sketch as a whole.
STARS: **½
THE SOPRANOS
television critics offer gushing quotes in praise of The Sopranos
— The increasingly hyperbolic Sopranos newspaper/magazine reviews are a riot.
— One review: “Compared to the guy who created The Sopranos, Michelangelo is a douche bag.”
— Parnell’s always-great voice-over work is making the already-hilarious dialogue he’s reading come off even funnier.
— Parnell, in his reading-off of one particular review: “’Ohh….ughh…ohhhh…Sopranos!’ ejaculates Robert Conner of Entertainment Weekly.”
STARS: ****½
DOCTOR’S OFFICE
irresponsible Dr. Beaman (WIF) tells (CHP) & (MOS) about their baby
— Ah, here’s an absolute all-time favorite of mine.
— The first half of this sketch (up until the part where Dr. Steven Poop enters) would later be replaced in reruns with the dress rehearsal version, which is probably the version of this sketch that most people are familiar with today. The most noticeable difference between the live and dress versions of the first half of this sketch is the opening phone conversation that Will’s character has. In the live version I’m currently watching, the phone conversation concerns a baseball that Will accidentally left inside of a patient he operated on. In the dress version, the phone conversation Will has is with his wife and concerns him denying to her that there’s anyone there named Mark and having her prove she’s his wife by asking her what their cat’s name is.
— I absolutely love how Rachel’s playing the same character she just played mere minutes ago in the Models sketch. A huge rarity for sketches to overlap like that within a single SNL episode. Unfortunately, the joke of Rachel reprising her Models character in this sketch would later be lost in Comedy Central’s 60-minute version of this episode, as they cut out the Models sketch but leave in this doctor sketch, thus causing viewers to not be aware that Rachel’s character in this doctor sketch was intended as a callback to an earlier sketch. Even without that knowledge, though, her character still works in this sketch.
— Will, to the person he’s talking to on the phone: “His (Parnell) big, sweaty, fat face, sucking in air like a dying fish. Between you and me, I’d like to stomp on his head till my foot’s covered in brains.”
— Will, to Parnell and Molly: “Your father may never again have what we call a human face.”
— I love how ,when trying to find the first names of Molly and Parnell’s Framingham couple, Will guesses at one point “Funk and Blowfish Framingham?”
— Will, to Parnell, in regards to Parnell’s wife, who’s Caucasian: “Tell that Asian wife of yours to shut up too!” I am absolutely loving the completely random humor all throughout this sketch.
— Man, once again tonight, most of the audience is absolutely dead during this sketch. Is tonight’s audience sleeping their way through tonight’s whole show? The dress rehearsal version of the first half of this sketch that’s shown in reruns has a more responsive audience.
— A particularly classic portion of this sketch with Tim entering as Dr. Steven Poop, telling Parnell and Molly that there’s nothing he can do for their lost baby, then doing the robot and then telling them “That’ll be $5,000. Good day to you both.” In the dress rehearsal version of this sketch, Dr. Poop was played by Freddie Prinze Jr. Thank god they gave Tim the role for the live show, as there is NO WAY IN HELL Freddie Prinze Jr. made the role anywhere near as funny as Tim did.
— When Tim makes his exit after doing the robot, Will and (especially) Molly both memorably lose it and crack up out of character. This is understandable when you’re aware of the aforementioned last-minute casting change for the role of Dr. Poop, thus meaning that none of Tim’s scene partners in this sketch witnessed him doing the robot before this sketch went on air. Parnell is the only performer in the scene right now who’s still staying completely in character and isn’t breaking, making this the very first sketch that SNL fans would take notice of Parnell’s admirable Phil Hartman-like ability to stay in character and keep a sketch afloat even when others around him are breaking.
— Parnell: “You vondruke!” Will: “Is that an actual curse word???”
— The audience has gotten a lot more responsive in the second half of this sketch, after Will and Molly’s character break woke them up.
— Great turn with Parnell inexplicably letting Will’s loss of their baby slide and then sleazily telling Molly “Now let’s start makin’ another one.”
— I love how even the ending of this sketch is bizarre and nonsensical, with Will’s exaggerated “Thank god”, “Yikes!”, and “That was rooouuuugh!” while taking long pauses in between each of those lines.
— Overall, this sketch was an absolute absurd masterpiece.
STARS: *****
CHARLIE ROSE
Ricky Martin (CHK) & Enrique Iglesias (host)
— Good Charlie Rose impression from Darrell.
— An initial laugh from the exaggerated hair on Kattan’s Ricky Martin.
— I like how out-of-place it is seeing Darrell’s Charlie Rose interviewing and admiring two young Latin singing sensations.
— Charlie Rose, to Enrique Iglesias: “Your debut album sold over 6 million copies. What’s with the mole?”
— This is Freddie’s first performance all night that has gotten anywhere close to a laugh from me. I’ll also give credit to him for managing to keep a straight face during all of Kattan’s wild gestures and facial expressions while sitting right next to him.
— Charlie Rose, to Enrique Iglesias: “Your music makes me wanna take my clothes off and dance in the rain.” That funny line now kinda takes on a bit of a different meaning in light of shady things we now know about the real Charlie Rose.
— The Ricky/Enrique portions of this sketch are starting to run out of steam for me. Not even Enrique’s punch to Ricky’s face made me laugh much (though I remember finding it hilarious when I first saw this sketch as a teenager). Darrell’s Charlie Rose has been the only thing left that’s still making me laugh in this sketch.
STARS: **½
WEEKEND UPDATE
a la Catherine Zeta-Jones, CHO announces she’s engaged to a 4 year-old
— Colin continues his bad habit of muttering unnecessary ad-libs after his news jokes, some of which ruin the occasional news jokes of his that actually make me laugh.
— Colin sounds slightly low-energy tonight, which fits the oddly low-energy feel of tonight’s episode in general.
— Cheri’s commentary about dating a 4-year-old actor has its charm, though I’m not laughing all that much.
— Update is over already? This Update felt unusually short.
STARS: **½
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “I Try”
GIFFORD HOME
(host) beholds domestic strife of Frank (DAH) & Kathie Lee (CHO) Gifford
— I love Darrell’s Frank Gifford occasionally entering the room and saying bitter one-liners in his professional announcer’s voice.
— A few minutes later into this sketch, and Darrell has been providing my ONLY real laughs in this whole sketch (kinda like the Charlie Rose sketch earlier tonight). Cheri-as-Kathie-Lee-Gifford’s constant ranting and flirting with Freddie aren’t doing much for me.
— Okay, Cheri’s Kathie Lee finally got a laugh from me, with her line “I swear, if I wasn’t a born-again Christian Jew…”
STARS: **
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Why Didn’t You Call Me”
FLACKO AND TEDDY’S WORLD OF MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY TREES
(TRM) & (host) sell dried-up Christmas trees as important MLK Day icons
— Much like with the “Is It Date Rape?” sketch from season 19’s Shannen Doherty episode, the opening background music for this sketch is the theme music from the 1967 version of Casino Royale. This same theme music would later memorably be used in a classic Will Forte dancing coach sketch with Peyton Manning.
— Funny concept of selling dried-up Christmas trees as Martin Luther King Day trees.
— A laugh from the badly-doctored photo of Martin Luther King with an MLK Day tree.
— Tracy: “In the words of Dr. King himself: I have a dream, blah blah blah, buy one of those trees from these two guys on TV.”
— Tracy’s a natural in this sketch. Freddie, on the other hand, ehh. While I appreciate that Freddie’s going for an actual characterization (which is more than I can say for most of his performances tonight), his delivery here has a vibe of trying too hard.
— SNL would attempt a second installment of this sketch two seasons later in a Gwyneth Paltrow-hosted episode, with then-newbie Dean Edwards replacing Freddie Prinze Jr.’s Flacko character as a new character named Rufus, but the sketch would end up getting cut after dress rehearsal. (I forget what Tracy and Dean’s characters were selling in that installment of this sketch.) The writers of that cut sketch seemed to mistakenly think that Tracy played Flacko in the first installment of this sketch, as the cut second installment had Tracy’s character named Flacko instead of Teddy.
STARS: ***
GOODNIGHTS
— Nice touch with having the camera show an MLK Day tree placed next to the stage (the second above screencap for these goodnights).
IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A pretty weak episode, and the first episode in a LONG time that I’ve felt negatively about (the first one since all the way back in season 23, to be more precise). While there were a few particularly great things like Doctor’s Office and The Sopranos, they were far outnumbered by things that were underwhelming. This episode as a whole felt a bit off, especially how several portions of the show had a weird low-energy vibe and a dead audience, the latter of which is quite a contrast from the loud, rowdy, energetic audience in just the last episode, with Jamie Foxx.
MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS
HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jamie Foxx)
a step down
My full set of screencaps for this episode is here
TOMORROW
Alan Cumming