Tag: Tom Arnold

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February 17, 1996 – Tom Arnold / Tupac Shakur (S21 E13)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

WMUR 9 CNN DEBATE
debating GOP candidates trick themselves into endorsing Bill Clinton

— A pretty good laugh from one of the candidates (played by Jim) being a random truck tire salesman.
— I liked this premise better the first time… when it was done in a 1991 sketch with Kiefer Sutherland (Campaign ’92: The Race to Avoid Being the Guy Who Loses to Bush). Tonight’s cold opening is such a blatant knock-off, and pales badly in comparison to the 1991 sketch.
— I do love Tim’s Marvin The Martian-esque voice as Alan Keyes. That’s one of the very few laughs I’m getting from this cold opening.
— Nancy’s rambly speech at the end did nothing for me nor the audience.
— I think this is the first cold opening all season that I’ve given a negative review of.
STARS: **


OPENING MONTAGE
— David Spade has been temporarily removed from the montage, even though he’s still a cast member. We won’t be seeing him appearing on the show these next few episodes. I recall hearing he was given time off from the show to film either a TV pilot or movie (I can’t remember which). This was back in the days where, if a cast member took time off from the show to film an outside project, they were temporarily removed from the opening montage, I assume for contractual reasons.
— Don Pardo starts out this opening montage sounding kinda like his usual self, if a bit lower-key, but suddenly gets hoarse-sounding when he reaches the point of the montage where he announces the musical guest. And then… OH MY GOD, by the time he announces “Ladies and gentlemen, Toooom Arrrnnooooold!”, he sounds absolutely AWFUL. I recall an SNL fan (I believe it’s fellow SNL reviewer and frequent commenter on this site, The Doc) once describing Don’s voice in that part as sounding like an alien was about to burst out of his throat. I’ve never seen a more accurate description of that. I’m guessing Don is suffering from a cold, a theory that’s further backed up by what happens in the very next episode (you’ll find out in my review of it).


MONOLOGUE
host repeats Golden Globes faux pas by carelessly insulting castmembers

 

— A lame parody of Tom’s controversial comment to Teri Hatcher at that year’s Golden Globes.
— In passing, Tom mentions his “beautiful new thin wife”. Notice he made sure to put “thin” in there. Throwing shade at his ex Roseanne, I see. Maybe this is Tom’s way of getting back at Roseanne for her endless “small penis” jokes about him when she hosted SNL in the preceding season.
— The bit with Tom’s inner thoughts is weak, especially the “Because I’m Tom Arnold!” punchline.
STARS: *½


THE LIFE WE LEAD
news stories are presented in context of a soap opera

— In Darrell’s opening voice-over as the station manager, he introduces himself as Ian Roberts, which appears to be an inside reference, as that’s the name of an Upright Citizens Brigade performer.
— A creative and fun premise, and it’s being executed very well.
— SNL would later do what I recall being an inferior knock-off of this sketch in season 38, in a sketch starring Vince Vaughn and Cecily Strong. Funny how tonight’s episode had a sketch (the cold opening) that was a knock-off of a superior sketch from a few years earlier, and then a later episode would do a knock-off of a superior sketch from tonight’s episode.
STARS: ****


BAKE SALE
Gail Lafferty (NAW) threatens ass kickings for perceived offenses

— Between the preceding episode’s “Martha Freakin’ Stewart!” sketch and now this, SNL suddenly seems to be trying to establish Nancy Walls as a hardass.
— Feels weird seeing so many non-cast members having a speaking role in this sketch.
— As I mentioned in my review of the Church Lady potluck luncheon sketch from season 12, certain minor aspects of both that sketch and tonight’s Bake Sale sketch remind me of each other, especially how both sketches feature a walk-on from the host playing a minister.
— Overall, I was enjoying this sketch for the first few minutes, but it kinda fizzled out towards the end and got too one-note. The ending was also pretty weak. I much prefer the second installment of this sketch from later this season, in which Nancy’s character gets into an EPIC catfight with Teri Hatcher.
STARS: **½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “California Love”


WEEKEND UPDATE
a phone call from O.J. Simpson gets NOM up-to-date on search for killers
Joe Blow talks about some other things that make his life more difficult
ADS plays guitar & sings a song about his grandmother

— Very random segment with Norm taking a phone call from O.J.
— What the hell? Is that freakin’ Darrell Hammond doing the voice of O.J. on the phone?!? Why?!? Has Tim suddenly become unavailable mid-show, for whatever reason?
— A laugh or two from the O.J. phone call, but this segment is going on too long and too many parts are dragging.
— A big laugh how after the O.J. phone call segment ends, Norm does one of his trademark O.J. jokes, which is immediately followed by the phone ringing again.
— Seems a bit soon to bring back Joe Blow again, but I can’t complain.
— A great opening spiel from Joe Blow about how his son got busted smoking pot and how that son is now serving time in his room while recovering from a black eye received during the arrest.
— Why is Joe Blow needling Norm over a beer he wants them to have together? Is SNL forgetting that the last time Joe Blow appeared, he and Norm set a date for that beer: April 11th, a date that hasn’t even passed yet by this point.
— First we get a Chris Farley cameo in the preceding episode, and now tonight, we get an Adam Sandler cameo. I’m assuming Adam is promoting Happy Gilmore, much like Chris promoting Black Sheep in the last episode. (Weird to think that those two movies came out in two consecutive weeks.) Also, I wonder if the decision to let Adam and Chris each cameo in an episode this season is Lorne’s way of telling them “No hard feelings” after their recent firing.
— As usual, a very catchy melody to Adam’s Update guitar song.
— During Adam’s song, we get a joke about waxing grandma’s mustache, continuing Adam’s weird comedy obsession with grandmas having beards.
— Adam’s song is fairly fun, but pales in comparison to some of his earlier Update songs. I’m not crazy about how a lot of the lyrics in tonight’s song are just gibberish words.
STARS: ***½


MIRACLES OF SCIENCE WITH PAUL DUNBAR
Braniac’s (host) cranium size belies his smarts

— Ohhhhh, boy. Here comes a notorious sketch that used to have a reputation as one of the all-time worst sketches in SNL history (I say “used to” because this sketch seems to have fallen into obscurity in more recent years).
— Tom Arnold lookin’ like a deformed Conehead.
— Boy, Tom’s performance in this is awful.
— You can practically hear a pin drop in the studio during this sketch. The audience is fucking DEAD.
— My god, the lousiness of this sketch has to be seen to be believed. This is painful to watch.
— Not even the hand-stuck-in-pickle-jar reveal could get so much as a chuckle from me nor the audience.
— Mercifully, the sketch is now over. Jesus Christ. This is indeed one of the worst SNL sketches I’ve ever seen. And here’s the thing: the right host could’ve done SOMETHING for this. The writing for this sketch had kind of a “so dumb, it’s funny” undertone that got completely lost due to Tom’s terrible performance. A much more adept host could’ve possibly ran away with this sketch’s “so dumb, it’s funny” potential. Hell, the next two male hosts coming up this season are John Goodman and Phil Hartman. Couldn’t SNL have saved this sketch for either of those two episodes? Imagine what Phil would’ve done for this sketch.
STARS: *


MRS. KOGEN
naive (JMB) thinks her criminal son (COQ) is engaged in harmless pursuits

— Jim’s old lady character feels kinda like something that tonight’s special guest Adam Sandler would’ve done when he was a cast member. Maybe because I’m being reminded of that Looking After Grandma sketch that Adam once did with Chris Farley and Michael Keaton.
— Will somebody please point Jim to the correct direction he’s supposed to be looking in? Why is he delivering all of his lines to Tom while facing and staring DIRECTLY AT THE FUCKING CAMERA?
— Normally, I’d be happy to see the underused Jim Breuer getting a showcase, but his hammy camera-mugging in this sketch is too much for me, and I’m not crazy about that Joe Pesci-esque voice he’s using for this old lady character, either. And this sketch itself has been mostly doing nothing for me.
— I did get a laugh from Jim’s character claiming her son uses a bong for his asthma.
— Nice to see Colin with a fairly big non-Weekend Update role for once. A sign that he will soon finally start receiving a featured player credit in the opening montage.
STARS: *½


HOSPITAL
hospital orderly Gerald Tibbins prepares (host) for an appendectomy

— (*sigh of relief*) Thank god we have the return of T-Bones to add some much-needed life to tonight’s episode. After the last two sketches, I was almost starting to forget what it’s like to actually LAUGH.
— Kinda funny how not only is this the second sketch tonight to use that same hospital room set, but Tom and Tim are in opposite roles in both sketches, as a doctor and a patient.

— Koechner slipping some Swabby mannerisms into his T-Bones character, with that “kerr kerr kerr” laugh he’s doing.
— Not too crazy about Tom’s straight man performance here, though it’s one of his more tolerable performances tonight by default (which still isn’t saying much).
— What was with the awkward long pause when Tim came back in the room, as if somebody forgot a line? I so want to blame Tom, but I can’t say for sure.
— As always, so many funny goofy lines from T-Bones throughout this sketch.
STARS: ****


FUZZY MEMORIES BY JACK HANDEY
a woodpecker driving dad to suicide


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “I Ain’t Mad At Cha”


TREE SLICE DISPLAY
a tree slice both explains & embodies outlaw park ranger’s (host) crusade

— Am I supposed to be laughing at this sketch? I’m a minute-and-a-half into this, and I cannot find ANY discernible comedy. The audience apparently agrees with me, judging by the return of their deafening silence from the Miracles Of Science sketch.
— I get the feeling there’s some well-written subtle absurdist humor in Tom’s lines, but it’s not coming through in his awful delivery, especially the way he keeps stumbling over his lines. Perhaps this is yet another sketch tonight that would’ve worked better with a more adept host.
— A cliched twist with Tom being exposed as an impostor and then jumping through the window as an escape. I liked that twist better in that Sam Kinison teacher sketch from season 12.
— And now to make this sketch’s twist even more cliched, we get a typical text crawl ending. (*sigh*) Next, please.
STARS: *


PETCHOW
the packaging of Hank Petchow’s (WIF) rat poison is quite misleading

— Odd that a new fake ad is debuting at the end of an episode. They must be airing this as emergency filler due to the show running either too long or too short.
— I remember when I first saw this commercial back in the very early days of my SNL fandom, it was the first time I took notice of how great SNL’s fake ads are at recreating the look of real commercials. I recall being very impressed by how visually accurate and authentic-looking this Petchow fake ad was, to the degree that, if I hadn’t paid attention to the comedic concept, I’d almost have mistaken this for a real ad.
— This ad is great. So many funny little things all throughout this: Will’s surname randomly being Petchow, the words “rat poison” being written in VERY small letters on the bag, the fact that the rat poison bag inexplicably has a dog’s face on the front of it just because Will loves his dog, the happy commercial jingle at the end suddenly saying the words “rat poison” in a monotone voice, etc.
— I also love the little part with Will trying to keep his dog from eating from the bowl of rat poison, saying “Down, boy, that’s not for you” while laughing into the camera. Another example of how Will always makes a great fake commercial pitchman.
STARS: ****½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— Oof. Yep, this episode was just as bad as I had remembered. Things ALREADY got off to a rough start right out of the gate with a derivative cold opening and a very lame monologue, and, despite a few highlights here and there in the remainder of the show, the episode never fully took off, and it REALLY bottomed-out at a few points in the post-Update half with two absolutely laughless sketches that had me cringing over their unfunniness and dead feeling (Miracles Of Science and Tree Slice Display). By far the weakest episode of this season so far, in my eyes. The less said about Tom Arnold’s hosting performance, the better, except that I am so glad this is the last time he’s ever hosted. How he got three hosting stints while far more deserving people only got one is beyond me.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Danny Aiello)
a big step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Elle MacPherson

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December 5, 1992 – Tom Arnold / Neil Young (S18 E8)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
Wayne’s World- Wayne & Garth laud Bill Clinton with a top 10 list

— Mike Myers makes his return, after being on hiatus all season filming So I Married an Axe Murderer. And what better way to reinstate him into the show than with a Wayne’s World sketch?
— This actually ends up being the final Wayne’s World sketch while Dana and Mike were both in the cast together.
— Wayne breaks the news that Garth recently got pubes. Uh, wasn’t there ALREADY a Wayne’s World sketch where they made that announcement about Garth? (read here) I guess Mike’s been gone so long, he forgot he already used that pubes bit.
— When laughing in character, Dana’s glasses accidentally fly off and he then calls attention to it.

— As usual, lots of great comments during the Top 10 list, especially the remarks about Bill Clinton’s huge head, and the whole hope/intercourse bit.
— There’s the infamous Chelsea Clinton bit that would get SNL in trouble, forcing them to remove that portion of this cold opening in reruns with a VERY glaring edit. In that portion, Wayne and Garth basically talk about how “adolescence has thus far been unkind” to then-13-year-old Chelsea, then they predict that “under the right clinical condition”, she can possibly be a babe in waiting. Reportedly, Hillary Clinton got up in arms about those lines, publicly complaining that it was in poor taste for SNL to make those jokes about a minor.
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
host sings “Johnny B. Goode” while NBC programming notes scroll by

— Tom proudly brings up the fact that his new show, The Jackie Thomas Show, premiered on ABC this week with incredible ratings. Feels weird to hear this in retrospect, because I have absolutely no memory of The Jackie Thomas Show, and I watched ABC fairly regularly in this era. (I was just a little kid back then, though, so maybe that’s why I have no recollection of The Jackie Thomas Show.) Those “incredible ratings” must not have lasted long.
— He mentions Gary Oldman was originally supposed to host this episode, but canceled for personal reasons (“He personally hates the show”, jokes Tom). I recall hearing that Oldman pulled out because a co-star of his convinced him not to host. I’m not 100% sure, but I think I heard the co-star in question was Malcolm McDowell, who was apparently still bitter over how bad his own SNL hosting experience was back in season 6. I guess nobody told him how much better SNL’s state now was in 1992.
— Boy, judging from the jokes here, it seems that even back in these days when he and Roseanne were still together, Tom knew their relationship wouldn’t last.
— The screen crawl promoting NBC’s Tuesday night line-up is kinda funny, but nothing great.
— I’m conflicted over the Johnny B. Goode performance, as I’m always a sucker for hearing that song, but I can’t say the same for hearing Tom Arnold sing. Plus, I can’t help but be reminded of SNL making fun of Tom singing that song in a less-than-stellar season 20 sketch pairing Tom Arnold and Madonna in a TV movie biopic.
— Awkward ending with the close-up of Tom not saying, singing, or doing anything, except just grinning into the camera.
STARS: **


SEX AND PEER PRESSURE AT VALLEY HIGH
gay teens in PBS afterschool special

 

— Third episode in a row with a gay-themed sketch. (The Michael Keaton episode had the Outweek sketch and the Sinbad episode had the Gloria Brigade sketch. We also have a lesbian Christmas party sketch coming up in the episode after this Tom Arnold one.) To me, this particular sketch is funny not because it’s a gay couple, but because of how this gay couple’s relationship is being presented in the same way as heterosexual relationships in typical dramatic after-school specials. This sketch is nailing all of the after-school special cliches.
— Nice to see David playing against type here. His crying outburst when returning home is particularly funny.
— Good mock-dramatic delivery from Julia of the line “I think I’d better leave you two… alone.”
— The fake programs that Phil lists off are providing pretty good laughs, especially “Nude Black Man Today” and “History of Police Brutality, hosted by Ice-T”.
STARS: ***


MCDONALD’S
Bill Clinton (PHH) explains Somalia by eating food at McDonald’s

— Fantastic use of Phil’s Clinton, and this would go on to be a very memorable sketch.
— Classic line with Clinton telling his secret service men “There’s gonna be a whole bunch of things we don’t tell Mrs. Clinton. Fast food is the least of our worries.”
— Very funny how Clinton is pigging out on patrons’ meals while he’s mid-conversation with them about serious issues. Every single time I watch this sketch, it never fails to make me very hungry. Another Clinton sketch that has the same effect on me is one of Darrell Hammond’s earliest Clinton appearances, in which he pigs out on various types of food in the middle of the night while calling up several people on the phone (even if that sketch is nowhere near as memorable as this Clinton At McDonalds sketch).
— I absolutely love how Clinton’s now using the patrons’ meals to demonstrate the dire situation in Somalia.
— Classic blooper right now where Phil has so much food in his mouth that he has to stop in the middle of his line because he can no longer speak, and after breaking a bit, he’s handed a drink by Rob in a fantastic ad-lib.
— Solid “Race you to the Pizza Hut!” ending.
STARS: *****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “From Hank to Hendrix”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Roseanne Arnold [real] rails against assertiveness double standards
KEN would like to give harasser Bob Packwood a taste of his own medicine
Queen Shenequa’s review of The Bodyguard concerns deleted sex scenes

— That real-life clip of a Belgium emissary picking his nose at a conference and then eating the boogers… wow. If that Clinton At McDonald’s sketch gave me a huge appetite, this clip absolutely killed that appetite.
— A surprise Roseanne appearance.
— Roseanne’s double standards commentary wasn’t as strong as I was expecting, though there were some laughs. Kevin’s “Boy, what a bitch!” comment after she left was very funny, even if you could see it coming from a mile away. It was his delivery that sold it.
— Queen Shenequa’s last few appearances didn’t quite work for me, but I kinda like the idea of her doing a movie review in tonight’s commentary.
— Hmm, tonight’s overall Queen Shenequa commentary didn’t quite work for me either, though I did like the audience participation bit at the end regarding what women like to do after sex.
STARS: ***


BILL SWERSKI’S SUPER FANS
Super Fans visit Bob Swerski in the hospital; Dick Butkus cameo

— We get our first Super Fans sketch of the season.
— Nice change of scenery for this sketch.
— Very funny bit with Farley’s barbecue sauce IV and him using it on his food.
— Interesting use of a Dick Butkus cameo.
— Entertaining pre-taped sequence with Farley’s out-of-body experience.
STARS: ***½


DOGS
grunge band Dogs (ADS), (MIM), (ROS), (DAC), (RBS) performs a canine song

  

— A very unique change of pace to SNL’s format. They’re even using the musical guest stage for this performance.
— Great visual of Adam’s many nipples.
— This sketch is amazing so far. A fantastic, creative, and fun take-off of the grunge craze. SNL is going all out on this.
— So many great touches throughout this, and a lot of funny lyrics.
— I loved Rob’s “squeeze toy” music solo.
— I’ve always noticed that SNL Archives claims David has a part in this sketch as a spectator, but I never notice him any of the times I’ve seen this sketch. Where is he?
— Great ending with all of the band members humping a giant leg that’s brought onstage.
STARS: ****½


TALES FROM THE AMBULANCE
paperclip distributor (host) faces downsizing

— A variation of the Tales From the Barbecue sketches from the preceding season.
— The use of funny fake sponsors at the beginning makes me wonder if this is a Jack Handey sketch, and if so, does this mean he also wrote the Tales From the Barbecue sketches? Those sketches didn’t feel like Handey’s typical work to me.
— I like the absurdity of Rock actually stopping his ambulance vehicle in the middle of the road just to tell a story to David.
— Funny bit with Tom “accidentally” breaking the paperclip tray, thinking that solves his problem.
— The paperclip tale has a silliness that I like, but at the same time, parts of it are coming off kinda uninteresting.
— Funny ending with Rock and David.
STARS: **½


PORNO BUYERS’ SERVICE
Porno Buyers’ Service representative (ROS) is efficient but not discreet

— Funny line from Rob as the spokesman, regarding Tom: “This man has been here two hours. Two hours he could’ve spent at home… masturbating.”
— Rob as the spokesman is very funny throughout this whole sketch, especially his constantly embarrassing Tom.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Harvest Moon”
— Not included in my copy of this episode.


G.E.D. CLASS REUNION
high-school equivalency degree recipients attend 10-year class reunion

— Phil’s bitter lines during his intro speech are great.
— During his mention of his short-lived job working at an all-girls school, I liked Tom slipping in “Then I did some time” before quickly moving on.
— During Rob’s entrance, his skeevy grin alone has me cracking me up.
— The absurd brevity of Rob’s scene was funny.
— I love the dark turn this sketch has taken with Tim’s fast-paced rundown of which classmates are dead or missing. Excellent delivery from Tim.
STARS: ***½


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A pretty good episode. For some reason, I always remember this episode as being a little on the “meh” side (Tom Arnold being the host may have something to do with that, though he turned out to not be too bad tonight), but then whenever I actually watch it, I usually find myself pretty satisfied with its quality. A lot of this episode stayed in just the “pretty good” range, but there were a few really strong pieces, including a forgotten gem (Dogs).


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Sinbad)
a mild step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Glenn Close hosts the Christmas episode

Posted on

February 22, 1992 – Roseanne and Tom Arnold / The Red Hot Chili Peppers (S17 E14)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
New Hampshire primary taught George Bush (DAC) that “You’re pissed!”

— I’m getting a lot of laughs from Dana-as-Bush’s very funny various ways of explaining to us that he got the people of New Hampshire’s message.
— Great part with him finally revealing on a sheet of paper what the message from New Hampshire was: “YOU’RE PISSED!”
— Kiddie Dan Quayle to Bush: “You’ll beat Buchanan, won’t you? He’s ugly!”
— A very funny little part after Kiddie Quayle leaves, with Bush speculating a “Bush/Buchanan” ticket before saying “Nah!”
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
hosts find that they have no secrets about themselves left to expose

— Tom Arnold’s looks have changed quite a lot since his cameo just a year earlier in Roseanne’s season 16 episode. Roseanne herself looks quite different too. (side-by-side comparison below)

— A funny part where after Roseanne says they’re already gaining back all the weight they lost from the diet they talked about on Oprah, Tom says “So did Oprah, though.”
— Feels strange in retrospect hearing a mention of a now-obscure talk show called Sonya Live among the many names of talk shows that are still well-remembered today like Oprah, Donahue, and Larry King Live.
— Now they’ve mentioned another now-obscure talk show, The Paul Rodriguez Show, though judging from Roseanne and Tom’s jokes, that show was considered an embarrassing joke even back then.
STARS: ***


DICK CLARK PRODUCTIONS
Dick Clark’s receptionist keeps Roseanne & Jesus (PHH) waiting

— This sketch officially becomes recurring.
— Like last time, David’s getting a lot of laughs from his questioning the importance of who the clients are and his obliviousness to any kind of pop culture.
— I love Roseanne going head-to-head with Dick Clark’s receptionist in a snark-off.
— Great part with Julia pouring her heart out to the receptionist regarding being Dick Clark’s long-lost biological mother, only for it to be revealed that the receptionist was on the phone the whole time and didn’t hear anything she said.
— Now this already-strong sketch turns truly epic, with Phil randomly appearing as Jesus, which gets a great audience reaction.
— A lot of laughs from Dick Clark’s receptionist doing his usual questioning routine to Jesus of all people. I also love Phil’s calm-but-slightly-taken-aback facial reactions.
— Kevin to Jesus, regarding the receptionist: “Can’t you do anything?” Jesus: “I’ll give him one more minute.” Receptionist: “Threatening me with eternal damnation won’t get you in any faster.”
STARS: *****


COFFEE TALK WITH LINDA RICHMAN
Linda & friend Liz (Madonna) praise Barbra Streisand [real]

— Linda Richman officially becomes recurring, and they’ve now dropped the “Coffee Talk with Paul Baldwin” title and have officially begun titling this sketch “Coffee Talk with Linda Richman”.
— Despite this only being her second appearance, Linda Richman is already getting big audience cheers during her opening statement in tonight’s sketch. I guess this shows how hot tonight’s crowd is.
— We get a mention of Linda Richman’s daughter Robin, which is an inside reference, as Mike Myers based the character of Linda Richman off of the mother of his then-wife named Robin.
— A very random Madonna cameo.
— I like Roseanne a lot in this. Even just the look of her character is cracking me up.
— Two minutes into this sketch, and Roseanne has been providing my ONLY laughs, though I do kinda like the details and realism that Madonna’s bringing in her characterization (which is supposedly another inside reference, as Madonna’s character is reportedly based on her own publicist).
— The self-deprecating part with Madonna’s character calling Madonna a tramp was okay if cliched.
— I got a big laugh from Roseanne randomly making a very loud “CCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!” sound with her throat while cleaning out her ear.
— Here comes the reason this installment of Coffee Talk is famous, and the moment that makes this fairly tepid and overlong installment worth sitting through: Barbra Streisand randomly showing up out of nowhere at the end. A memorable and legendary SNL moment, especially since neither Madonna nor Roseanne were told beforehand that Streisand would appear, and thus, their stunned reactions you see are 100% genuine (Roseanne in particular goes WILD and completely drops character), which helps make that moment so classic. Mike, on the other hand, was informed of Streisand’s cameo beforehand, but only a few minutes before the sketch started. He reportedly had just enough time to call his Streisand-obsessed mother-in-law and tell her to get down here.
STARS: ***


TALL TALES OF THE RECESSION
the story of the Fast-Firing CEO (Tom)

— A bit odd how Tom Arnold is just NOW making his first sketch appearance of the night.
— Fun performance from Dana, and I like the sound effect they keep playing whenever he cracks his whip.
— I got an unintentional laugh from a technical error where they accidentally cut to a brief shot of a devil (Rob) sitting down at a restaurant table while Dana’s introducing the scene to us. This gaffe would later be edited out of reruns.
— The use of Rob as the devil really makes one yearn for Jon Lovitz’s Mephistopheles character. Rob’s performance here is bland and comes off lame compared to what Jon’s Mephistopheles would’ve brought to the sketch. They’re even having Rob wearing what appears to be Jon’s old Mephistopheles costume!
— Another unintentional laugh, this time from Dana’s whip almost knocking off his hat one of the times he cracks the whip.
— Overall, Dana was the only thing providing any real laughs in this sketch. The actual meat of the sketch, the CEO scenes with Tom, were dull and fell flat.
STARS: *½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Stone Cold Bush”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Grumpy Old Man has no use for Winter Olympics innovations

— Feels a bit weird seeing Grumpy Old Man in a Kevin Nealon-anchored Update for a change. This ends up being the final appearance of this character, as well as the only time he ever appears outside of a Dennis Miller-anchored Update.
— The usual funny stories from Grumpy Old Man, especially the one about using corpses as skiis and how one of the Winter Olympics events in his day was compressing your lips to a freezing metal pole.
— Kinda surprised Grumpy Old Man’s commentary is over already. Felt kinda short.
— Very strong night for Kevin overall. Lots of great jokes from him.
STARS: ****


DELTA DELTA DELTA
Pam, Di, Meg welcome new Delta Delta Delta sorority sister (Roseanne)

— This sketch officially becomes recurring (I’m saying that a lot tonight). Can’t say I’m thrilled to see these characters back.
— Very interesting seeing Roseanne playing against type as a valley girl-esque character.
— Boy, am I already sick of the overuse of a running bit in these Delta sketches, where one of the girls says something serious and then immediately follows it up by pointing out something trivial and irrelevant (e.g. “Your hair looks so red”, “Do I have lipstick on my teeth?”, etc.). I know that’s an accurate spoof of this type of ditzy college student, but hearing it being said after almost every single line is not funny to me.
— Despite Roseanne playing against type, I see they let her get in a typical Roseanne-esque line just now, by suddenly saying “I gotta go use the can; I gotta let one rip!”, which I admit kinda made me laugh just because of the contrast between that and the Delta Delta Delta girls’ personality.
STARS: **


A STAR IS BORN
Roseanne’s career crashes after Tom rides her coattails

 

— Victoria, who I’ve lately been starting to kinda forget is still in the cast, is just NOW making her first (and only) appearance of the night. Then again, this has been a VERY light night for most of the cast in general, possibly due to a combo of having two hosts and a gigantic cast. Chris Farley doesn’t even appear AT ALL tonight.
— I love the method Dana’s Larry Roman uses to come up with the stage name Tom Arnold.
— As usual, the Larry Roman character is making some funny comedic analogies. I especially liked “He’s pullin’ you down faster than Wilt Chamberlain’s pants!” However, the “He’s gotta go like June Allyson after a freakin’ six-pack!” one was reused from a Weekend Update commentary that Larry Roman did earlier this season.
— Dana makes Roseanne break character and laugh (fifth screencap above) right as she’s about to deliver a dramatic line before exiting.
— I’m cracking up at Roseanne badmouthing various actresses during her drunken “acceptance speech”, especially her line “Kirstie Alley, get a chin!”
STARS: ***


DAILY AFFIRMATION WITH STUART SMALLEY
Stuart dislikes sister’s (Roseanne) abusive ex (Tom)

— A laugh from Stuart mentioning the title of his poorly-received recent episode, “Whining is Anger Coming Through a Small Opening”.
— Roseanne plays against type once again tonight, this time as a timid character.
— Some good laughs from Stuart listing off all the terrible things that Tom did to Roseanne.
— Stuart to Roseanne: “Jodi, it’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the world.”
— Good part with Tom beating the hell out of Stuart with the padded bat. We also get a great visual afterwards with Stuart’s hilariously messed-up hair after the beatdown.
STARS: ***½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Under The Bridge”


DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
on the most dangerous animal in the world


GOODNIGHTS

IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A decent episode, but doesn’t measure up to the two great episodes that preceded this. After those two episodes, tonight had a feeling of averageness. However, we did get a few really memorable moments tonight, such as Phil’s Jesus in the Dick Clark Productions sketch and Barbra Streisand’s cameo in Coffee Talk. Of the two hosts, Tom Arnold was merely okay while Roseanne fared better and had a bigger presence. It was also refreshing to see Roseanne play against type a few times tonight, which I don’t think she did at all during her first hosting stint in the preceding season, even though that was the better of the two episodes she’s hosted so far at this point.


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Jason Priestley)
a step down


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
John Goodman, in our second consecutive episode where the host comes from the same then-running sitcom (“Roseanne”). I don’t think there have been any other times in SNL history where two consecutive episodes were hosted by co-stars of the same then-current TV show.