December 12, 1998 – Alec Baldwin / Luciano Pavarotti with Vanessa Williams (S24 E9)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

APOLOGY
Bill Clinton (DAH) lapses into seduction while stressing his remorse

— Some good laughs from Darrell’s President Clinton delivering various “sorry”s to the camera, in light of senate recently voting to impeach him.
— Very funny line from Clinton about having the board game Sorry in his office.
— I love how Clinton is now using different camera angles, lighting, and background music to prove the sincerity of his “sorry”s.
— Now this is getting even funnier with Clinton’s “sorry”s turning to him seducing us.
STARS: ****


MONOLOGUE
John Goodman [real] & JIF fuel host’s SNL fire a la A Christmas Carol

— Funny beginning with Alec complaining about this being his 8th time hosting “this friggin’ show”, because all the stuff going on with the president’s impeachment makes Alec question what the point is of doing comedy.
— Ha, John Goodman makes YET ANOTHER cameo this season. I think it’s safe to say that he’s gotten more screen time so far this season than cast member Tracy Morgan. By the way, tonight is the THIRD episode this season that Tracy ends up being completely absent in (the other two episodes being Ben Stiller and Jennifer Love Hewitt). Just let that sink in, people: we’re only halfway through this season, and Tracy has already been absent in THREE EPISODES.
— I like the bit with Lorne telling Darrell that they’re gonna have to let him go if Alec has a bad show tonight.
— In the “Live from New York” book, Alec mentions how John Goodman flubbing a line in this monologue resulted in an upset Alec muttering “asshole” under his breath. This incident must’ve happened at dress rehearsal, because it’s nowhere to be seen in the live version I’m currently watching.
— Jimmy’s only been on the show for half a season at this point, and he already gets a good amount of applause from the audience when walking on in this monologue as himself.
— A now-famous aspect of this monologue is SNL accurately predicting that Jimmy would go on to host SNL in December 2011. The exact date is a little off, though, as this monologue states that it would be on December 12, whereas it ended up being on the 17th.
— Fun seeing a future rendition of SNL’s opening montage.
— Hilarious gag in the future opening montage with John Goodman being a cast member.
— Interesting how this 2011 rendition of SNL has Don Pardo replaced by a “Don Pardo 9000” robot. SNL probably thought back in 1998 that there was no way the real Pardo would still be announcing for SNL in 2011, or even be alive. Little did they know…
— A very strong and fun monologue overall.
STARS: ****½


NBA ON NBC
NBC’s NBA lockout coverage puts an exciting spin on negotiations’ tedium

— A funny concept of this ad, presenting NBA lockout negotiations in the style of a typical hyped-up “NBA on NBC” promo.
— I like the various fake-out announcements of featured guests such as “Michael Jordan…..’s agent”.
STARS: ***½


MORNING LATTE
chitchat of Tom & Cass gets into (host)’s personal life

— I like Will and Cheri’s reaction to hearing Alec explain what Global Warming is.
— Funny bit from Cheri about an apology letter that her husband wrote to her for cheating on her.
— We get a variation on the usual “You stupid bitch!” outburst from the producer character in these Morning Latte sketches, by having him tell Will and Cheri to take the gingerbread cookies and “shove ’em in YOUR ASS!” That line only worked for Alec’s great delivery of it.
STARS: ***½


CHILDREN’S CLOWN
mannish 6 year-old girl (host) engenders lust in hospital clown (MOS)

— A very bizarre and interesting premise, with Alec playing a six-year-old girl who supposedly has a condition that makes her look like a grown man.
— Alec’s little girl characterization is funny in how he’s casually just playing it as his normal self.
— Holy hell at Molly and the “six-year-old girl” suddenly making out with wild passion.
— I’m enjoying the disturbing and twisted nature of this sketch, though I can see it being off-putting for some people. I also recall some SNL reviewers from this time in 1998 comparing this to the notorious Canteen Boy sketch that Alec appeared in, though this Clown sketch is pretty tame compared to that.
— I like Molly’s mock-dramatic soliloquy after she gets fired.
— Boy, not only was Ana’s nurse character suddenly making out with the “six-year-old girl” a predictable and unnecessary ending, but it died with the audience.
— Not sure whether or not I like the ending screen crawl revealing that the “six-year-old girl” was later proven to be a 42-year-old man. It kinda felt like a cop-out to avoid a Canteen Boy-like controversy. I did like the last part of that screen crawl, with the screen crawl voice-over (Parnell) saying “Ain’t love a kick in the pants?”
STARS: ***½


TV FUNHOUSE
by RBS- at the first Christmas, Harlem Globetrotters & Jesus play hoops

 

— A funny and spot-on parody of the Harlem Globetrotters animated series from the 70s.
— I love the low-budget laugh track heard all throughout this, with the exact same audio being played of a man literally saying a monotone “Ah ha ha ha ha.”
— Funny visual of Baby Jesus dunking a basketball.
— Nice touch with the ending credits of this TV Funhouse being displayed in a special fancy style.
STARS: ***½


10-10-1776-5-28-1830-242-3-316-68-22
long distance code mnemonic comprises USA human-rights violations

— A great spoof of those long-distance phone commercials from this time period.
— Hilarious how Alec and Ana are treating the complicated breakdown of the insanely-long phone number as if it’s simple.
— I love the very random historical events being used to help you remember each section of the long phone number. This is a very strong piece.
STARS: ****½


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guests perform “Adeste Fideles”


WEEKEND UPDATE
COQ details the maneuvering surrounding the Bill Clinton impeachment vote
TIM, Vanessa Williams, Janice Pendarvis [real] do a sexy Kwanzaa carol

— Some funny vocal impressions from Colin during his opening straight-to-camera rant about President Clinton’s impeachment. I especially like Colin’s Richard Lewis impression.
— Funny unscripted bit with Colin hiding his face with his hand in amused embarrassment (the fourth above screencap for this Weekend Update) over butchering the foreign name of an Olympian.
— A strong and memorable comment from Colin about a now-safe-and-clean New York: “New York has become your crazy drinking buddy who got married and had kids.”
— Here comes Kwanzaa Timmy! This is a popular commentary of Tim’s.
— This Kwanzaa Timmy song is fantastic. Also, nice use of the “Kwanzettes” backing up Tim.
— I like Colin’s exclamation of “Yes!” when Kwanzaa Timmy asks him “Are you in?”
STARS: ***½


THE DELICIOUS DISH
Margaret Jo & Terry salivate over Pete Schwetty’s (host) holiday balls

— Needless to say, here comes a legendary sketch. This is airing much later in this episode than I would’ve expected it to, not only because of what a classic it would go on to be, but because the Delicious Dish sketches in general are usually always placed upfront in the first half of the episodes they appear in.
— This is the first time in a while we’ve seen the Delicious Dish ladies back in the NPR studio, after their last two sketches took place outdoors.
— I love Molly’s brief mention of her “excessive rat problem” at home.
— Aaaaaand there’s the epic turn, with Alec’s line “The thing I’d most like to bring out is my balls.”
— Ana: “My mouth’s watering just thinking about those balls.“ Molly: “It’s been years since I’ve seen any balls.”
— Every single line about Pete Schwetty’s balls is a freakin’ RIOT. I can’t quote anymore lines, or I’d literally end up quoting the entire conversation in this sketch.
— Okay, I do want to quote what is probably universally known as the signature line of this sketch: “No one can resist my Schwetty Balls.” Perfectly delivered by Alec.
— Another thing that makes this sketch great is when you remember that Delicious Dish is a radio show, and you wonder what it must sound like to listeners of this show hearing all of the suggestive talk of “balls”.
— Speaking of what the “balls” talk must’ve sounded like to listeners, I’m surprised this overall sketch didn’t have a moment with either of the Delicious Dish ladies going “Wow, the phone lines are really lighting up tonight.” Maybe I missed it during tonight’s viewing due to laughing so hard throughout the sketch; I could swear from my past viewings that this sketch had that part in it. Maybe I’m thinking of the far inferior sequel they’d later do to this sketch, where Alec’s character promotes his Schwetty Wieners.
STARS: *****


IMPEACHMENT HEARINGS
impeached Bill Clinton’s (DAH) defenders assail his character at hearings

— Feels odd seeing a topical Impeachment Hearings sketch being buried towards the end of an episode, but understandably, SNL didn’t want to place this too close to the solo Clinton cold opening.
— Jimmy’s look as Alan Dershowitz is cracking me up.
— Ha, now Kattan’s look is even funnier as David Kendall.
— Tim playing O.J. Simpson as one of the speakers is worth a laugh.
— A black female extra can be seen playing Maxine Waters on the panel of representatives. Oh, come on, SNL, are you trying to snub Tracy? Tracy played Maxine Waters in the Impeachment Hearings cold opening from the last episode, so naturally, that should’ve been a perfect excuse to have him make AT LEAST one appearance tonight. Is he out sick this week or something?
— Although I’m enjoying this sketch, some parts of it are dragging a little.
STARS: ***


CHANUKAH HYMNS
album features very-unfestive Jewish holiday songs

— I like the accent Alec’s using in this sketch.
— Will’s stiff singing is very funny.
— Some good laughs from all of the bad Chanukah songs being advertised.
STARS: ***½


BULL & BEAR
the drunk businessmen honor Bill Brasky’s Wall Street prowess

— The return of Bill Brasky, after a year-long absence! This ends up being the final installment of the regular run of Bill Brasky sketches. Decades later, it would be revived for one night only, in a Paul Rudd-hosted episode.
— Fun seeing Alec Baldwin AND John Goodman appearing together in a Brasky sketch, considering the host who appeared in the previously-aired Bill Brasky installments was either just Alec or John. By this point, SNL had pretty much no choice BUT to do a Brasky sketch with both hosts present, as all of Will’s castmates who regularly played Brasky buddies (David Koechner, Mark McKinney) were long gone.
— Alec: “Brasky went public with his own buttocks and made 7 million!”
— Alec, in the middle of Will’s Brasky story: “I masturbate to the Teletubbies!”
— Will, on Brasky: “He has a toenail on the end of his penis!”
— Will: “Brasky named the group Sha Na Na! They did not wanna be called that!”
— John: “They use Brasky’s foreskin as a tarp when it rains in Yankee Stadium!”
— I like that this Brasky sketch is going on longer than usual.
— Hey, why’d this sketch end without Tim ever showing up as his usual “Hey, are you guys talking about Bill Brasky?” character? After all, they had Ana show up as her usual “You men smell awful!” character, so where was Tim?
STARS: *****


GOODNIGHTS


IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A very solid Christmas episode and Alec Baldwin episode. Not only was this episode strong, and not only were there no sketches that I found weak, but we got a great one-two punch of classics Kwanzaa Timmy and Schwetty Balls airing back to back with each other. I also like how the novelty of having Luciano Pavarotti as a musical guest gave this episode a special feel, as did the use of a full orchestra being shown playing music in the studio during some of the commercial breaks.


MY PERSONAL CHOICE OF “BEST OF” MOMENTS FOR THIS EPISODE, REPRESENTED WITH SCREENCAPS


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Vince Vaughn)
a moderate step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
We enter the year 1999, with host Bill Paxton

May 16, 1992 – Woody Harrelson / Vanessa Williams (S17 E20)

Segments are rated on a scale of 1-5 stars

COLD OPENING
The Tonight Show- late walk-ons ruin Johnny Carson’s (DAC) last show

 

— Phil as a drunk Ed McMahon is hilarious.
— I absolutely love the taped farewell messages from other talk show hosts, with Kevin as Jay Leno rambling about how Carson’s retirement is great for him (Kevin’s voice constantly changing pitches throughout that speech kills me), Rock-as-Arsenio-Hall’s deep, intense philosophizing as the camera slowly zooms into his mouth, and Dana reprising his impression of his former castmate Dennis Miller, ranting about how badly his talk show is doing.
— Adam’s David Brenner impression is cracking me up.
— I like the insane turn this has taken during Carson’s final minute on the air, with a tiger cub going wild and peeing all over the place while attacking David Brenner, before being wrestled by drunk McMahon.
— According to GettyImages, Victoria (who’s final night on the show is tonight) was cut after the dress rehearsal version of this sketch, playing herself performing a ukulele song (pic here). Farley was also cut playing who appears to be Marlon Brando (judging by what it says on whatever that thing is he’s holding in his left hand in this pic) (another pic here).
STARS: ****½


OPENING MONTAGE
— The only second-category featured players (i.e. the featured players who only receive a still photo in the opening montage and are only credited occasionally) who are credited tonight are Beth Cahill and Melanie Hutsell, but reruns of this episode would add in Robert Smigel, presumably because he appears in a Super Fans bit later tonight.
— A very minor note, but it’s something I’ve always found strange: around the middle of this episode’s theme music, G.E. Smith’s plentiful guitar-playing suddenly stops for a long time before eventually continuing towards the end. I wonder what happened there.


MONOLOGUE
after denying ego problems, host plays guitar & sings a song about SNL

— A rare occurrence of G.E. Smith being heard speaking on camera, when handing a guitar to Woody.
— Some good laughs from Woody’s constant stopping before singing, to assure us of how his fame doesn’t affect him.
— His SNL tribute song is funny with its lyrics that’s repeating everything he just said about SNL before launching into the song.
STARS: ***½


ACTION CATS
— Rerun from the Mary Stuart Masterson episode.


TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF
(host) encourages grotesque-bodied beachgoers to take off their shirts

— I like how the body reveals are starting off conventional with Woody’s body, then gets just slightly odd with Farley being Farley, and then is getting flat-out grotesque starting with Kevin’s insanely hairy body.
— Adam’s phallic outie belly button is an absolute riot, as is Tim’s snarky one-liner as a passerby: “Can I put a bun and mustard on that thing? I’m gettin’ kinda hungry.”
— Woody’s encouragement to each guy after they take their shirt off is making me laugh, like him asking hairy Kevin “Did Burt Reynolds just ask me a question?” (though that line was kinda drowned out by audience laughter).
— Farley’s spastic gesturing while playing catch football with Kevin causes Woody to break.
— Considering Dana’s real-life infamous botched heart surgery from the late 90s, his character in this sketch having had heart surgery is eerily prophetic. That being said, I love the particularly disgusting visual of his transplanted baboon heart being outside of his chest.
— Another great snarky one-liner from a passerby, this time with Siobhan asking a feminine breasts-having Mike “Didn’t I see you on the cover of Juggs Magazine?”
STARS: ****½


SPROCKETS
(host)’s EuroTrash theme park is a rebuttal to EuroDisney

— They did a Sprockets sketch last time Woody hosted SNL, but his character in tonight’s Sprockets is different from the one he played last time. For some reason, I kinda love the name of the character he’s playing tonight: Graus Grek (which was used in an earlier Sprockets sketch as a name that Dieter mentioned in passing).
— I like Woody’s bizarre wig.
— The pictures that Woody’s displaying of his EuroDisney alternative, EuroTrash, have some funny pictures, especially the Diseased Bear Jamboree.
— I love the part with Dieter going on about what a Fred Flintstone fanatic he is.
— This ends up being the final Sprockets sketch in its normal (if it can be called that) format during Mike’s tenure as a cast member. All future Dieter appearances during Mike’s cast tenure are outside of the typical Sprockets format.
STARS: ***½


DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY
on having “impressions” during a math test


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “Save The Best For Last”


WEEKEND UPDATE
Super Fans offer tips to Knicks fans on what to do after the Bulls win
Operaman sings about Ross Perot, L.A. riots, Mark Messier, Johnny Carson

 

— Very interesting seeing the Super Fans appear on Update for a change. However, it appears George Wendt was too busy this week to cameo (which is funny since his Cheers co-star is hosting tonight). Feels odd seeing the Super Fans without a “lead character” like Wendt or Joe Mantegna.
— I loved Smigel’s disparaging comment on what a Knick is: “It’s what a New York man gets when he shaves his leg before going into a Greenwich Village bar.”
— Operaman officially becomes recurring, only two episodes after making his debut.
— Fantastic biting satire with Operaman singing about President Bush sleeping during the L.A. Riots.
— Another great part during the Operaman commentary, with him lamenting “El chin-o” (Jay Leno) replacing an about-to-retire Johnny Carson. I like that SNL’s not afraid to take shots at Leno tonight after he had just cameod on the show a week earlier.
STARS: ***


DELTA DELTA DELTA
Pam, Di, Meg don’t want to give their notes to Sigma Chi frat brothers

— Here comes what ends up being the final installment of this sketch (though Melanie’s character would end up making a “cameo” in the very first Gap Girls sketch next season).
— Boy, am I glad I’ll never have to hear that annoying-as-hell catchphrase “Delta Delta Delta, can I help ya help ya help ya?” anymore after this episode.
— David’s constant sotto-voced attempts to persuade Beth are kinda funny.
— I found this overall installment to be really meh and mostly unnoteworthy. A step down from the surprisingly semi-tolerable preceding installment from the Mary Stuart Masterson episode.
STARS: **


COWBOY SONG
lonesome cowboys sing about how they’re proud they’re not minorities

— Another recurring sketch making its final appearance tonight. This sketch debuted the last time Woody hosted.
— I’m getting a lot of “That is SO wrong” laughs from the cowboys’ bigoted lyrics about minorities and “girl-boys with big ol’ girl vaginas”.
STARS: ****


BACKSTAGE
Zoraida confuses host’s Cheers & White Men Can’t Jump roles with reality

— (*groan*) This character again…
— Ugh, this routine with her confusing hosts’ fictional characters with real life is BEYOND tired by this point.
— An overall particularly tepid, by-the-numbers Zoraida installment. No redeeming factors at all here.
— While I was never all that crazy about this character’s routine to begin with in her debut in the season premiere, it’s amazing how quickly they milked it dry over the course of just one season.
STARS: *


FRANK GANNON, P.I. P.I.
politically incorrect P.I. looks into abortion clinic vandalism

 

— Good to see this character officially become recurring, though we end up never seeing him again after this episode.
— Frank Gannon assuming the “Baby Killers” graffiti was the abortion clinic’s real sign was hilarious.
— Lots of funny offensive, bigoted (I seem to be using that word quite a lot tonight) assumptions from Gannon throughout this, especially his theory that young black men from the L.A. Riots looted the abortion clinic and stole the files so they can know the names and addresses of all the loose women in the neighborhood.
— I like the addition of Woody as Gannon’s rookie assistant, Rudy.
— The close-up of Gannon’s dopey, cocky grin into the camera as Ellen is getting arrested is great (second-to-last screencap above).
— It’s Victoria’s final episode as a cast member, and she’s JUST NOW making her first appearance, in the last 20 minutes of the episode.
— I love Victoria’s tearful “You’re an idiot!” to Gannon at the end.
STARS: ****


MUSICAL PERFORMANCE
musical guest performs “The Comfort Zone”


THE SENSITIVE NAKED MAN
The Sensitive Naked Man attends a baseball game with his son

— Much like Frank Gannon, this character makes his second and last-ever appearance. Seems to be a lot of characters unknowingly taking their final bow tonight (Delta Delta Delta, Singing Cowboys, Frank Gannon, Sensitive Naked Man, Sprockets sorta… too bad Zoraida’s not one of them).
— I got a laugh from Rob thinking he’s ridiculed by his son’s friends just because he’s a social worker.
— An overall surprisingly forgettable installment of this sketch. The ending especially came off weak, and the sorta-reveal of Rob’s bare behind fell flat. This overall installment doesn’t hold a candle to the far-superior installment from earlier this season.
STARS: **½


BAD EXPECTANT MOTHER
(VIJ) unwittingly sets examples of what expectant mothers shouldn’t do

— Much like Jan Hooks in the preceding season’s finale, I’m glad they gave Victoria the 10-to-1 spot in this season finale even if I’m not 100% sure if they knew at the time that she’s leaving (though the fact that she gets to stand at the front of the stage during the following goodnights suggests they possibly were indeed aware).
— I liked Woody’s line about it being safe for Victoria to drink Irish coffee because “the alcohol and caffeine will probably just cancel each other out”.
— A lot of big laughs from Victoria doing a succession of actions that pregnant women should never do, such as sniffing glue, putting her belly in the microwave when trying to fix it, etc.
— A great cutaway to a pre-taped Jon Lovitz revealing that the sketch was based on his mother when she was pregnant with him, and then plugging his upcoming FOX special.
— An overall strong note for Victoria to go out on. One of her best sketches ever.
— In reruns, SNL moves this sketch up to a much earlier timeslot in the first half of the show. I can kinda see why, but I like this better in the 10-to-1 slot, as this is Victoria’s last show, and it’s also a solid way to close the season. (Reruns place the underwhelming Sensitive Naked Man sketch in the 10-to-1 slot, which is a pretty poor way to close the season)
STARS: ****


GOODNIGHTS

 


IMMEDIATE POST-SHOW THOUGHTS
— A fairly solid season finale, even if it doesn’t measure up to the two fantastic episodes that preceded it. Despite tonight’s episode being weighed down by a few recurring characters I dislike (Delta Delta Delta and Zoraida), there was still plenty of good material in the show. We also got a surprisingly large amount of delightfully offensive, un-PC material in the post-Update half, such as Cowboy Song, Frank Gannon P.I. P.I., and Bad Expectant Mother.

— Tonight ended up being the final episode for veteran Victoria Jackson and first-year newbies Siobhan Fallon and Beth Cahill. Victoria’s tenure ended with a very forgettable final year for her, as she was gradually phased out (hell, as mentioned earlier in this review, she didn’t even appear in her final episode until the last 20 minutes) and did very little of note in the second half of the season. Overall, though, I feel Victoria’s SNL tenure as a whole was pretty good. While she was very limited in her range and does not measure up to the fantastic work of most of her original late 80s castmates, I appreciate what she brought to the show, especially on Weekend Update during the Dennis Miller era. And she had a likability about her that made her lack of range more forgivable. Siobhan Fallon and Beth Cahill are both interesting cases, given their short time on the show. I feel Siobhan showed a lot of potential in her somewhat-limited airtime and also had a professionalism that I liked. However, she did sometimes have a tendency to kinda overact in her delivery during some walk-on roles. I feel that overall, she definitely deserved a second season, but supposedly, the reason she was dropped was because her strong religious beliefs caused her to turn down the more “un-clean” roles she was offered on the show (I was told that the “Their Eyes Were On Their Breasts” sketch was one of them), which apparently was frustrating for the writers. Beth Cahill is difficult to assess, given her extreme lack of airtime and generic roles she was usually stuck in. I did find her Denise Swerski character to be decent, but other than that, I’ve always felt Beth usually had kind of a blandness to her as a performer. But again, it’s hard to tell, considering how little she was used and how non-descript her roles typically were. She deserved a second season just to see if she would’ve gotten more of a chance and developed, but that probably wouldn’t have happened much in season 18, with a still-gigantic cast and a slowly-increasing Boys Club mentality. I could go on about how unfair it is that the very limited and occasionally very annoying Melanie Hutsell got to stay over either Siobhan or Beth, and I do feel that way, but I’ve been a little more lenient on Melanie in this SNL project than I’ve been in the past (anyone who remembers the standalone 1990-1994 reviews I did on SNL message boards back in 2010 would know that). During this SNL project, I’ve found myself having more recognition of and appreciation for Melanie’s non-annoying moments. I’m not sure how much longer that’ll last, considering I recall her performances being consistently bad two seasons later during her final year (season 19).

— Season 17 as a whole was yet another in a long line of strong seasons. As much as I absolutely love the preceding season 16, I think I enjoyed season 17 slightly more as a whole. I felt this season had even bigger highs than season 16, and had impressive stretches of solid consecutive episodes at various points of the season. And the historically gigantic cast strangely helped give this season a fun feel to me, especially the times the show would go out of their way to work all or most of the cast into sketches (e.g. Not Gonna Phone It In Tonight, Partridge Family vs. Brady Bunch, History Class).


HOW THIS EPISODE STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING ONE (Tom Hanks)
a mild step down


HOW THIS OVERALL SEASON STACKS UP AGAINST THE PRECEDING SEASON (1990-91)
a very slight step up


My full set of screencaps for this episode is here


TOMORROW
Season 18 begins, with Nicolas Cage as host, and a slightly smaller cast